S1: This is Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. I'm Wayne Shepherd,
S1: and today we're discussing something that could transform our family.
S1: Not just now, but for generations to come. Mark.
S2: Yeah. You know, Wayne, we're discussing legacy. And there's some
S2: people that are listening that have a great legacy that
S2: they need to repeat. And there's some people that are
S2: listening that need to break the cycle of the legacy
S2: they've inherited. I've thought a lot about this over the years.
S2: Being a pastor in Chicago. So many of the men,
S2: especially that I was meeting, I realized that as I
S2: talked to them, part of their challenge was to break
S2: the cycle that had been given to them cycles of addiction,
S2: cycles of violence, cycles of divorce and fidelity. And it
S2: started to become a real burden for me to realize, hey,
S2: I was given a legacy from some parents that broke cycles. And, um,
S2: it gave me a greater start. And I started to
S2: realize that there's a first generation that has to break
S2: cycles so that their children and their grandchildren don't repeat
S2: those cycles.
S1: Well, let's have this conversation today about influence and about
S1: investment and that lasting impact we can make. It's coming
S1: up today on bold Steps. Welcome to a special Bold
S1: Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is senior pastor of New
S1: Life Community Church and president of Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Mark,
S1: you recently took a meaningful trip back to Spain, where
S1: you spent your childhood. Let's talk about, uh, new lessons
S1: learned going back to a to a former place of
S1: of residence there, huh?
S2: Yeah. So some of the listeners know, but I grew
S2: up in the country of Spain. Went there when I
S2: was six years old. Left the US when I was
S2: six months old. You know, every time I go to Spain,
S2: when my children were small. I would love to take
S2: them to this little cemetery outside the city of Burgos.
S2: There's a very simple grave there. Engraved on the top
S2: of that gravesite are the words para el morir is Ganesha,
S2: which in English is for me to live is Christ,
S2: and to die is gain. Beautiful. And, uh, my father
S2: was buried. He died at 60 years old. He's buried
S2: in that grave. And I would bring my children there
S2: because I would want them to understand the power of legacy.
S2: And legacy is that which we inherit and that which
S2: we pass down. We all have a legacy. We're all
S2: deeply affected by our legacy and the cycles that are
S2: ahead of us. Those do not determine our future, but
S2: they explain some of our battles in the present. My
S2: parents Fortunately, they were first generation cycle breakers. My mother's
S2: father was an alcoholic. They would have to drag him
S2: out of the bars that he was fighting in. My
S2: father's parents were believers, but, um, you know, they later
S2: on in life got more grounded. And so both of
S2: my parents, uh, were not believers into their teenage years
S2: and had to come to Christ and really break some cycles.
S2: And I feel like growing up in their household, they
S2: had broken cycles that I didn't have to break. So
S2: I've been beneficiary of those beautiful cycles. But there are
S2: many of the people that I work with. They are
S2: the first generation of cycle breakers and the battle is
S2: more intense.
S1: So they were not just your parents, they were your
S1: spiritual mentors as well, weren't they?
S2: Yeah. That's right. Deeply influenced by that. My mother, she's
S2: almost 88 years old and just has a very vibrant,
S2: positive faith, reads five chapters of the Bible every day,
S2: spends probably a couple hours in prayer every day she walks.
S2: She's very engaged in the church, even though she's lost
S2: most of her eyesight. And, you know, she's just passed
S2: down this incredible legacy. As I look back of someone
S2: that just has a super positive attitude, loves Jesus, cares
S2: about people. Those have splashed down to myself and my siblings,
S2: and I realize that those are some of the cycles
S2: that we want to carry on.
S1: Yeah, indeed. The power of mentoring. We'll talk more about
S1: this and later, Doctor Chris Ragazzini will join us as
S1: well in this special edition of Bold Steps. But I'm
S1: just thinking of Second Timothy in the relationship between Paul
S1: and Timothy. That has to come to mind when you
S1: think of spiritual mentoring.
S2: Yeah. You know, the apostle Paul took on a young
S2: man who most scholars believe his father was not a
S2: believer because Paul speaks about the faith of his grandmother
S2: and his mother. Paul's father was a Gentile. His mother
S2: was Jewish, which was a forbidden marriage to begin with.
S2: Probably not supportive of his faith, probably wondering what he
S2: was doing with his life. Uh, Timothy seems to struggle
S2: with insecurity. Confidence. The ability to confront. He's got physical ailments,
S2: but Paul takes him under his wing. And I think
S2: Paul sees in him something that maybe Timothy didn't see
S2: in himself. And Scripture doesn't tell us this, but it
S2: seems implied that, um, probably Timothy's father was not this
S2: presence that really had an influence on Timothy. And the
S2: apostle Paul is a surrogate father that is speaking into
S2: his life, I think, breaking cycles and building up the
S2: sense of calling that Timothy really needed.
S1: Well, you've preached on this passage from Second Timothy. And
S1: let's listen to that. And later we'll bring in Doctor
S1: Chris Rappaccini to talk about it as well. Here's Mark Jobe.
S3: Look up at me, men, if you're a father here,
S3: raise your hand if you're a father in this place. Okay?
S3: We have a lot of fathers. I want to speak
S3: into your life right now, men. And it doesn't matter
S3: whether your son or daughter is 30 or 40 years old,
S3: or whether they're two and five years old. I want
S3: to say this to you. Never miss the opportunity to
S3: speak into the life and destiny of your son or daughter.
S3: Never miss that opportunity. Do you know how many men
S3: and women that I have talked to? Oftentimes balling their eyes,
S3: crying and weeping? They're grown adults and they say, I
S3: never understood. I never felt like my father never heard
S3: him say he loved me, I never knew that I
S3: was important. I never knew that I could do something.
S3: I felt like I had a distant relationship with my father.
S3: I wish he would have spoken to my life. I
S3: wish he would have encouraged me. I wish I would
S3: have known that he believed in me. There's power. I
S3: believe that a young man develops his identity, oftentimes through
S3: the words of his father, and a young girl develops
S3: her identity and how she relates to men also through
S3: the influence of a father. Young Timothy, whose father more
S3: than likely had passed away, was being spoken into by
S3: the Apostle Paul. And the apostle Paul was saying, I
S3: know you're timid, and I and I know sometimes you
S3: back away, but I believe that you're a leader. He
S3: was telling Timothy, stand up when you need to stand up.
S3: He was saying, you have a gift and a call
S3: in your life. And I believe in that gift and
S3: that call. Timothy went on to be an incredible leader
S3: because he had a man that believed in him. The
S3: Apostle Paul was not Timothy's father, but he was a mentor.
S3: And I want to challenge you and encourage you. If
S3: you have known the Lord for a while, if you're
S3: walking in God for a little bit, it doesn't mean
S3: that you're perfect. But we need people like you to
S3: step up and say, I will share with someone else
S3: because someone poured into me. I'm willing to pour into
S3: someone else. We need mentors to step up and invest
S3: in other people's lives.
S1: What a great example from scripture. Paul and Timothy. Mark,
S1: for listeners who don't have the kind of parents that
S1: you had or have this spiritual mentor in their life,
S1: their past doesn't determine their future, does it?
S2: No, it doesn't. And I realize that more and more
S2: in the society that we live in. There's so much brokenness,
S2: dysfunction that it seems to be more and more rare
S2: for people to come from families that are whole and
S2: spiritually alive. And so I realized that probably most of
S2: you listening come from some degree of brokenness in your family.
S2: Your family's background. First of all, if you come from
S2: a lot of brokenness, if you didn't grow up with
S2: a father present in the household, or if there was addiction, infidelity,
S2: divorce in your background, I want you to hear, hear me. Well,
S2: that does not determine your future. It does explain some
S2: of the challenges you face, some of the struggles with
S2: your identity, your worth, your value. It does tell me
S2: what are the cycles that you have to break, but
S2: it doesn't determine your destiny. And I think you need
S2: to know that because some people just allow it to. However,
S2: I would say that it's very easy to repeat the
S2: patterns that we've grown up with unless there is a
S2: determination to be a cycle breaker and legacy.
S1: Intentional steps, right?
S2: Yeah. So I always tell people they have to take
S2: bold steps to break their cycles. Actually, the the title
S2: of this program, Bold Steps, came from really challenging both
S2: men and women to to take bold steps, to break
S2: cycles and to create new legacies. I recently heard a
S2: young lady that I helped lead to Christ. She's married
S2: and has grandchildren now and came to Christ probably 25
S2: years ago. She told her story. She was her grandmother
S2: was a runaway that got pregnant. Her mother was a
S2: runaway that got pregnant. She ran away from her house
S2: and got pregnant. And she said, I determined when I
S2: came to Jesus, I was going to break that cycle.
S2: And I was very fearful for my daughter, who when
S2: she turned 16, 17, she was thinking about there was
S2: tension boiling up, and she brought her daughter on stage
S2: and she said she stayed, she got married and and
S2: she brought the little girl, that's her daughter and said,
S2: we have broken the cycle in Jesus name.
S1: Praise God! Wonderful. Well, you're listening to a special edition
S1: of Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. We're talking about building
S1: lasting spiritual influence. But what if we've messed up in life?
S1: What if we need to move forward after making some
S1: pretty big mistakes? We'll talk about that with our guest
S1: coming up on Bold Steps. You're listening to Bold Steps
S1: with Mark Jobe, and we will continue our conversation about
S1: building lasting spiritual influence in just a moment. Just a
S1: reminder that you can listen to Bold Steps wherever and
S1: whenever you like. We're online 24 over seven at Bold Steps.
S1: Org or listen to the podcast anytime, wherever you subscribe.
S1: You can also connect with us on social media, Facebook,
S1: Instagram and Mark's YouTube channel. Look for Bold Steps Radio
S1: and have you downloaded the Bold Steps app here and
S1: see full length messages and link to more content that
S1: will encourage and challenge you. It can all be found
S1: at Bold Steps. Well, right now we've got a special
S1: bold step gift available for our listeners as a book
S1: titled envy A Big Problem You Didn't Know you had
S1: written by our guest, pastor Mike Fabares.
S2: Yeah. By the way, many of you are familiar with
S2: pastor Mike because he's on the radio. He's written several books.
S2: He's a graduate from Moody Bible Institute and actually on
S2: the board of directors as well. And so love pastor
S2: Mike and his ministry. I was thinking about this topic
S2: of envy and how oftentimes we just don't consider ourselves envious.
S2: Pastor Mike, if you were to help someone self-diagnose whether
S2: they have envy, what would you point to? What should
S2: they be looking for?
S4: Well, I would start by saying, are there any people
S4: in your everyday world that you just find yourself erring
S4: on the side of being critical when you really shouldn't be.
S4: And you think, why am I not happy applauding their success, right?
S4: This is hard, but we need to look at the
S4: people that we are critical of. And if you look
S4: hard enough, you often find it's because I'm really envious
S4: of what they get that I don't have what they've accomplished,
S4: that I haven't been able to so that they make
S4: so much money, so much more money than I make.
S4: There's a lot of reasons that we, um, just spring
S4: into gossip and criticism and just talking behind people's back
S4: in a negative way. And usually we can start to
S4: realize what's happened is something really between me and God.
S4: It's really not between me and them.
S1: Pastor Mike, are envy and jealousy interchangeable?
S4: Not really. Um, there's a kind of jealousy that's appropriate
S4: in the Bible, right? God says he's a jealous God
S4: in Exodus 34. There's a time for you right to
S4: rightly in your marriage. Be jealous if there's something threatening
S4: that relationship. But envy is always seen as something wrong
S4: in Scripture, and we're never to envy anyone. And what
S4: envy is, is taking a jealous feeling when I have
S4: no right to feel jealous. And now I start to
S4: have a a bitterness toward that person for accomplishing or
S4: achieving or securing something that I haven't been able to.
S4: And Jesus tells parables about this. You've got to be
S4: careful in your own heart to guard your heart against
S4: this kind of envy, because it is different than jealousy,
S4: because sometimes jealousy can be appropriate.
S2: That's great. So there you have it, pastor Mike. We
S2: would love to get this book into your hand. It's
S2: called a big problem. You didn't know you had envy.
S2: Thank you, pastor Mike.
S1: And we'd be happy to send you a copy of
S1: the book when you make a donation of any amount
S1: to support bold steps. Again, it's titled envy. A big
S1: problem you didn't know you had. Just call us at
S1: 800 Moody. Again, that's (800) 356-6639. Or give online and request
S1: this book by going to Bold Steps. You can also
S1: send your gift through the mail. Write to us at
S1: 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois, 606 ten. Again. Bold steps.
S1: 820 North LaSalle, Chicago, Illinois. 606 ten. Glad to have
S1: you listening to Bold Steps today with Mark Jobe. Again,
S1: I'm Wayne Shepherd and we're going to have a guest
S1: join us here. But we're talking about spiritual influencing and
S1: the importance of that. You had great parents who did that.
S1: And we need to be that kind of person, Mark.
S2: We do. And Wayne, we have someone with us today.
S2: I think that has put a lot of thought into this.
S2: Today we have Doctor Chris Rappaccini. He's associate professor of
S2: leadership at Anderson University in South Carolina, leadership life coach
S2: and founder of Faithful Steps Forward. So for 11 years
S2: he was a professor of pastoral studies here at Moody
S2: Bible Institute. And he's also.
S1: Yeah.
S2: Yeah, you've heard of that place, a moody alum as well.
S2: And so, Chris, welcome to Bold Steps.
S5: Well thank you Wayne. Thank you Mark I'm thrilled to
S5: be with you all.
S1: Sounds like our theme today is right up your alley.
S5: Well, I love talking about leadership. I love talking about, um,
S5: leaving a legacy as well. I like to tell people that, hey,
S5: the life you lead shapes the legacy that you leave. Because, hey,
S5: we all have decisions to make and people are going
S5: to remember those decisions long after we're gone. Whether it's
S5: gone from a work, uh, gone from a community, a neighborhood,
S5: or gone from this world into the next, people will
S5: remember us. So what kind of legacy do we want
S5: to leave?
S2: Yeah. That's great. That's a huge topic and a huge
S2: theme in bold steps. This whole idea of, uh, mentoring,
S2: breaking cycles, taking bold steps. So, Chris, tell us a
S2: little bit about young people today, spiritual mentoring, uh, how
S2: that affects and, um, the influence of spiritual mentoring, which
S2: we don't hear talk about enough, I don't think.
S5: Yeah. We don't we don't hear it talked about that much,
S5: but I can speak both from maybe the research but
S5: also my own personal life. So I had a father.
S5: He passed away when I was a teenager, so I
S5: was essentially fatherless. But then it was when I was
S5: in seminary that a professor reached out to me and
S5: mentored me. And what the research shows is that men,
S5: particularly in this day and age and with, you know,
S5: the divorce rates over the last several decades being relatively high, um,
S5: that young people are wanting those adult figures in their
S5: lives to help them, you know, point the way particularly
S5: I think hopefully point the way to Christ. And what
S5: does it look like to be a follower of Jesus?
S5: And so it's so crucial. It's so important for, you know,
S5: the generations coming up right now.
S2: Hey. And I want you to hear that if you're
S2: listening and you're over 55 or 60 years old, because
S2: I oftentimes feel like some of the older people say,
S2: or more mature people should, I say, say, well, young
S2: people don't really want to hear from me. I can't
S2: connect with them. But you're right, Chris. The research says
S2: right now that there is a longing to connect, especially
S2: with mature adults. And in the spiritual realm, mature adults
S2: who love Jesus have a good marriage. There is a
S2: longing for that, especially in this generation. So I think mature,
S2: seasoned adults need to know how to bridge the conversation
S2: or invite people. And I think young adults need to
S2: know how to ask as well.
S5: That's right. Yeah. I think too often I like to
S5: say is we need to stop trying to impress the
S5: younger generation because we're not going to impress them, but
S5: we can make an impression on them by sharing our story,
S5: by talking about, um, you know, things that, that they
S5: care about as well. Now that's difficult. It's challenging because actually,
S5: what studies show is that they will listen to you,
S5: but first you have to listen to them, which can
S5: be kind of challenging because like, well, why do I
S5: want to listen to them complain about their slow Wi-Fi,
S5: you know. Or how come their Uber is late, right?
S5: I don't want to listen to that. But you do
S5: need to listen to those things. And then after you've
S5: listened to them, they will actually listen to you. And
S5: that's when you can make an impression on them.
S1: Mark and I talked about, uh, those who didn't have
S1: positive role models and how they overcome these generational cycles.
S1: What would you add to what we've talked about, Chris?
S5: Oh, that's a great question. I think you already mentioned this,
S5: but it takes intentionality. It takes making a purpose. And
S5: I think also one other thing is it takes building
S5: really strong habits. Um, you don't drift into mentoring, you
S5: don't drift into breaking cycles. You have to take the time.
S5: And actually, you know, maybe even, you know, put pen
S5: to paper. How am I actually going to take this
S5: bold next step? What am I actually going to do?
S5: And then you can do it.
S1: Well, Chris, before we let you go, one last question
S1: for you. Where do we start? Where does it begin
S1: for us to have this kind of influence, spiritual influence
S1: in someone else's life?
S5: I think it it starts. This is going to sound trite,
S5: but it starts with prayer. Ask the Lord to open
S5: up somebody or to put somebody on your heart that
S5: you know that is struggling right now, that needs help
S5: and that you can you can be that help for them,
S5: even if you're struggling yourself. I think one of the
S5: things that we can do, we think, well, we have
S5: to have it all figured out before we can help somebody.
S5: No you don't. Um, you are a sinner trying to
S5: help other sinners. And so we are on the way,
S5: on the road to to Christ. So I think that's
S5: where it starts. Is asking the Lord in prayer. God,
S5: where do you want to use me? Who do you
S5: want me to help? Who do you want me to
S5: serve today? And then see where he takes you.
S1: It's been great to have Doctor Chris Rappaccini with us today,
S1: the author of Moving Forward After Messing Up, and we're
S1: so grateful for your time, Chris. Thank you.
S2: Thank you Chris.
S5: Yeah. My pleasure. Thanks for having me.
S1: You know, Mark, uh. He's right. Uh, it begins with prayer,
S1: and it begins with being grounded in God's word. I mean,
S1: if we don't have something to give out, then why
S1: would we ever try to influence someone else?
S2: Absolutely. There's someone listening today that needs to take serious
S2: what Chris said. Start to pray. God use me. Is
S2: there someone that you want me to mentor and impart in?
S2: And maybe one of those ways you could do that.
S2: We wrote a booklet called Discovering Who You Are in Christ.
S2: It's a 15 day devotional. I think some some of
S2: us need to be reminded that we are someone in Christ.
S2: Our identity and our position is in Christ, not in
S2: who you are, but who you are in Christ. And
S2: maybe as you read or pray through this devotional 15 days,
S2: you could pray with the mentality saying, God, who am
S2: I in you? And who do you want me to
S2: coach in part mentor. Build a relationship with that could
S2: really help them. Some of you need to think of
S2: when you were 16, 20, 25, 23, the struggles you
S2: were going through and what it would have meant to
S2: have a mentor, a coach, a prayer partner at that
S2: time to walk you through that. And maybe, just maybe,
S2: God will lead you to a relationship that is life
S2: changing for, uh, a person that is next generation.
S1: Well, if today's message has resonated with you, and if
S1: you'd like to discover this booklet more than a label
S1: discovering who you are in Christ, just go to npr.org.
S1: Click on the devotional tab and you'll find it right there.
S1: And of course, your partnership with this program means a
S1: lot to us as well. Your consistent support allows us
S1: to plan effectively and expand this outreach to more families
S1: who need to hear about God's power to break cycles
S1: and build legacies, as we've talked about here today. Now,
S1: when you think about the influence your parents or mentors
S1: had on you, or perhaps the influence you wish you had,
S1: that's exactly the kind of impact your partnership makes possible
S1: for others. So please sign up today at npr.org, or
S1: call us at (800) 800-3566 66639. Well, what a meaningful, helpful
S1: conversation here today. Mark, thank you for this. But we've
S1: got to pray about this, don't we?
S2: We do. And I'd love to pray for that person
S2: right now that this has stirred something up in your heart.
S2: And maybe it's your own sons and daughters that you
S2: need to be mentoring. Uh, some of you are at
S2: the cusp of having to break cycles and determine, I
S2: will not pass this cycle of a critical spirit of infidelity,
S2: of addiction, of divorce, of, um, uh, whatever it may
S2: be that has plagued your family, that this cycle stops
S2: with me so that my children can have a new legacy.
S2: And so I'd like to pray for you, if you
S2: are right now, in one of those cycle breaking moments
S2: in your life and needing to make a decision. Father,
S2: I pray for that father who never had a father
S2: to invest in him and feels like I don't know
S2: what it is to lead a family in a godly way.
S2: I pray in Jesus name that they would feel the
S2: confidence that you give, that they would get the help,
S2: the instruction that they would determine. I will learn and
S2: grow to be a godly father. I will break the
S2: cycle of brokenness, abandonment, dysfunction, and I will set a
S2: new legacy for my family. I pray in Jesus name
S2: for that grandparent that maybe feels like their voice isn't important.
S2: Their influence doesn't matter. I pray that you would give
S2: them a greater sense of confidence that God yes, the
S2: voice of the mature, the voice of the seasoned has
S2: power in the next generation. Father, I pray that you
S2: would connect them with next generation young people that they
S2: can influence as well. I pray for the person that
S2: has a heart to mentor, but feels inadequate because of
S2: mistakes that they've made in their past life. God, I
S2: pray in Jesus name that they would understand the blood
S2: of Jesus and that they would sense the. What it
S2: means to be forgiven and not let the accusation and
S2: lies of the enemy keep them back from being an
S2: influence to other people. Father, so, God, we pray that
S2: we would take bold steps to break cycles, that we
S2: would identify those cycles and that we would create new
S2: cycles in Jesus name.
S1: Amen. That's Mark Jobe. And on behalf of Mark and
S1: our guest today, Doctor Chris Rappaccini, I'm Wayne Shepherd. Thank
S1: you for listening. You can find out more about resourcing
S1: available at Bold steps.org. And we pray that you'll step
S1: into the calling to become an influence spiritually in someone's
S1: life for Christ. Take on that challenge and you'll live
S1: a great life. Thank you for listening. We'll see you
S1: next time for Bold Steps. Bold steps is a production
S1: of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.