S1: Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe explains that God is
S1: calling you to fight for your family's future.
S2: So I want to challenge you to look at your
S2: son and daughter and think to yourself, they have a
S2: calling and a purpose and assignment of God. Since they're young,
S2: you need to train them that way, and the more
S2: I can align them, the more they'll discover their assignment.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, senior pastor of
S1: New Life Community Church and president of Moody Bible Institute
S1: in Chicago. At what age do you stop fighting for
S1: the future of your family when your kids graduate from
S1: high school, college, when they get married and leave your house? Well,
S1: if you're like most of us, our family lives doesn't
S1: cease the moment our children turn 18. And as we
S1: continue with part two of our message called fighting for
S1: Your Family's Future, we'll discover that if your family is
S1: functioning as God has designed, it doesn't matter how old
S1: your children are. The enemy is going to have a
S1: target on your backs. Our message comes from Ephesians chapter
S1: six and to introduce the study as our Bible teacher,
S1: Mark job.
S2: The first consequence, or the first benefit, is that it
S2: will go well with you. How many of you, how
S2: many of you are here and say, you know I
S2: want success and longevity? The Bible is saying that the
S2: consequences of honoring your father and your mother is that
S2: it results in success and longevity. Listen, it's not only
S2: talking to 16 year olds or 14 year olds, it's
S2: also talking to 45 year olds. Come on now. What
S2: does honor mean? You give weight to what she says.
S2: How do you honor you? Honor? By calling her up
S2: and letting her know that you appreciate the fact that
S2: she brought you into the world. You honor her by
S2: listening to her. Even though she may not always make sense.
S2: You honor her by valuing her, by appreciating her, by.
S2: By making sure you call her up on her birthday.
S2: Acknowledge her on Mother's Day. You honor her by letting
S2: her know she's important. That's honor. And the Bible says
S2: that part of honoring it releases something into your life
S2: that when you honor it, allows you to do better
S2: in your life. And it actually extends the days of
S2: your life. So there's a promise attached to it. There's
S2: a spiritual repercussion that falls upon your life when you
S2: honor your parents success, that it may go well with you,
S2: and longevity that you may live a long life here
S2: on earth. Number two, not only is there a battle
S2: for our heart if you're fighting for your family, but
S2: number two, there's a battle for the head. If you're
S2: going to battle for the destiny of your family, you
S2: need to battle so that you align yourself under the
S2: authority that God has placed under you. And by the way, this.
S2: If you don't teach a child in their early days
S2: to respect their parents, then they will not. They will
S2: not respect their teachers. They will not respect their bosses.
S2: They will not respect people in their family. They will
S2: live a life of disrespect, of very little disrespect towards
S2: towards those that God has placed above them. And they
S2: will have very little respect for God Himself. As you're
S2: teaching your children to obey and teaching your child to
S2: honor those that are in authority, you're also teaching them
S2: what it means to obey God. There's a powerful principle
S2: in that teaching them to obey God and submitting themselves
S2: to the life that God has called them to live.
S2: The second thing is for their head. Notice what it
S2: says in In the following verse it says fathers. By
S2: the way, that word, particularly in the Greek, is a
S2: is a word that could be translated parent. It's not
S2: exclusive to men. It says it's fathers. It could be
S2: translated husbands and wives or mothers and fathers. Fathers, do
S2: not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the
S2: training and instruction of the Lord. So first of all,
S2: it says to the children, hey, learn what it means
S2: to come under authority. Learn what it means to align
S2: yourself under God's umbrella of protection. Then it speaks to
S2: the parents and it says, you know, as a parent,
S2: do not exasperate your children. The word exasperate means to
S2: cause anger in them that leads to rebellion. Do you
S2: know that as a parent, you can exasperate your child
S2: and push them towards rebellion. You say, well, pastor, how
S2: does that work? In a commentary on Colossians, John MacArthur
S2: lists nine ways that parents exasperate their children in this
S2: way and see if any of these apply to you.
S2: Number one Overprotection. You know that you can be overprotective
S2: as a parent. Have you ever heard of helicopter mothers?
S2: Some of you, your son is already 49 years old. Mijo,
S2: aren't you going to change the sweater? Aren't you going
S2: to put a jacket on? It's way too cold. Mom,
S2: I think I could dress myself. No, no, no. Go.
S2: Go change. Come on. Go change. Go get the other one.
S2: There's an appropriate protection that we need to have over
S2: our children, but there's an appropriate release as they get older.
S2: And if you try to micromanage your children over, micromanage
S2: your children and control everything they do, then your children
S2: will get to a point sometimes that they will bristle
S2: at it from overprotection protection and over micromanagement of their life.
S2: Especially mom. If your son is getting older and trying
S2: to step into manhood and feels like you're treating him
S2: like a little boy, he's going to bristle at that.
S2: Because the natural event is that you let your son
S2: become an independent man. But if you continue to treat
S2: him as a little boy, they're going to start bristling
S2: at the overprotection of mothers. Come on, mom, I'm talking
S2: to some of you now. And so there's an appropriate
S2: level of protection, but there's an appropriate level of release
S2: that needs to happen in our life so that we
S2: don't push them towards a heart of rebellion. Number two favoritism.
S2: If you are raising children and you have the tendency
S2: to compare your children with one another, you are sowing
S2: seeds of of exasperation in your heart. In other words.
S2: Can I tell you what never to do? Never never, never, never,
S2: never ever say this. Miho. Why can't you be more
S2: like your brother? Look at him. He never causes trouble. Miho,
S2: be like your brother. Don't compare your children. Number three,
S2: never depreciate their worth. I know your kids can frustrate you.
S2: How about it? Sometimes. But if you lose your cool,
S2: lose your temper, and you start saying you're never going
S2: to amount to anything, you're a loser. Just like the
S2: father that left you with your ex. My ex-husband. You're
S2: going to end up like him if you devalue the worth.
S2: You're dumb. You're never going to do it. You'll be
S2: a failure. You'll never amount to anything. You can't make it.
S2: I can't believe you're this. You're not a man, man.
S2: I'll be a man. You're just a little baby. You
S2: need to take on responsibility. Words like that. They belittle
S2: a son or a daughter, and they start creating a
S2: resentment in their heart towards you that could lead to
S2: exasperation that leads to a heart of rebellion. Those words
S2: usually come out in anger, usually come out in frustration.
S2: But when you belittle your children, especially if you embarrass
S2: them in front of other people or call their names
S2: in front of people, it can lead to a heart
S2: of rebellion that wants to get away from authority and
S2: sow seeds in that area. It can lead to exasperation.
S2: Number four unrealistic expectations. When you set the bar so
S2: high and no matter what they do. Hey, mom, I
S2: got straight A's. Yeah, but it wasn't A+. When you
S2: set the bar so high and it's always what they
S2: haven't accomplished, and you can't celebrate the accomplishments that they
S2: have accomplished, then it tends to exasperate them. Number five
S2: failing to show affection. Listen, there's a part of our
S2: parenting that needs to have the power to show warmth
S2: and affection. How do you show affection? You show affection
S2: by your words. You. You show affection by physical affirmation
S2: as well. Some people are really good at this and
S2: some people are terrible at it. I sat down and
S2: talked with a father who weepingly told me I have
S2: four daughters and I've never told them that I'm. He
S2: said I'm bad at telling them that I love them.
S2: I'm bad at hugging them. I said, how bad are
S2: you at it? He said, I've never done it once
S2: in my life. And he wept with sadness at the
S2: fact that he had never hugged his daughters, never told him, honey,
S2: I love you. And I said, bro, you need to
S2: break that cycle big time. Your daughters will be running
S2: to the arms of the first man that gives them affirmation.
S2: If they can't figure out that you love them, that
S2: you care for them, that the first man that they
S2: ever love is you.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Now, don't
S1: go anywhere. We'll be right back with the remainder of
S1: today's powerful message after a brief break. If our program
S1: has made a difference in your life, we'd be thrilled
S1: to hear about it. We deeply value your testimonies, your questions,
S1: prayer needs, and occasionally we feature them right here on
S1: the air. And Mark, I'd like to share one of those.
S1: This is a heartfelt voice message we recently received from
S1: a listener named Matt, who's reaching out with a prayer request.
S3: Hi, my name is Matt and I'm in Georgia. I
S3: was recently recently got out of prison in October. I've
S3: been listening to Doctor Jobe for a couple of years now.
S3: I guess he's helped me a lot. He's really helped
S3: me a lot. And, um, just I'm asking for some
S3: prayer as well. Um, trying to get back on my feet,
S3: So thank you for the ministry and thank you for
S3: the bold steps, the Moody Radio app and just pray
S3: for me and my family, please.
S4: Thank you Matt, thank you for leaving that message. First
S4: of all, I want to say, in my ministry for
S4: years I've mentored, worked with, dealt with, especially men that
S4: are recently out of prison. And I, I know you
S4: know this, but it's not easy. It's a new chapter.
S4: There's a lot of the same old temptations out there.
S4: But I want to let you know, Matt, I want
S4: to encourage you. You have power in Jesus Christ to
S4: overcome your past. You have been called to be a
S4: cycle breaker. What you were does not determine who you'll become.
S4: So I want you to find a good church. I
S4: want you to get involved in a Bible study. I
S4: want you to look for a mentor. Be honest with
S4: them and tell them I'm changing. But I need help
S4: to be able to walk in this direction, get plugged
S4: into a community, don't get sucked back into the old friends,
S4: keep accountable. And three years from now, you're going to
S4: look back and say, I don't even recognize the mat
S4: that I am right now. So, father, I pray for Matt.
S4: Give him strength, encouragement, give him a boldness that he
S4: didn't know he had, and give him the sense God
S4: of of your presence, God, even at this dark time.
S4: I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.
S1: Man, I so appreciate your phone call and like Matt,
S1: you have a story to tell. You may have a question.
S1: You certainly probably have a prayer request you'd like to
S1: share with bold steps. Simply visit our website bold steps. Org.
S1: Or as Matt did, give us a call and leave
S1: your message on a recorded line. It's great to hear
S1: your voice. (312) 329-2011. We'd like to prevent this from being
S1: a one way conversation. Call us at (312) 329-2011 and you
S1: can email us bold steps at Moody's. Mark, thank you
S1: for that prayer. Let's pick up now with today's message.
S1: You've titled fighting for Your Family's Future.
S2: So you need to show your kids affection. Listen, your
S2: kids aren't too old for you to show affection to them.
S2: Some of us are real good at showing affection when
S2: they're young, but when they're old, we sort of get
S2: nervous about it. And I know your kids don't like
S2: as they get older, especially young men showing affection. I
S2: used to threaten my boys when I dropped them off
S2: at school. At high school. Hey. Come over, watch it.
S2: I'm going to give you a big kiss on the
S2: cheek and a big hug. They said, dad, don't you
S2: know people are looking? Number six. Lack of standards. You know,
S2: there's something about setting standards in your household that give
S2: kids a security and a compass for right or wrong.
S2: Kids that grow up with no standards, no rules. No
S2: you can you can't that are just given freedom here.
S2: There's food in the refrigerator and a remote on the table.
S2: I'll see you tomorrow. They grow up with a sense
S2: of I don't know what's right or what's wrong, and
S2: it creates a greater sense of insecurity. Not security in
S2: their life. If you have no standards or rules that
S2: everybody knows, these are the rules of our household. Number
S2: seven criticism. When you're constantly negative, negative, negative, negative about
S2: everything that they do. In fact, can I give you
S2: this rule? Listen, parents, I know it's easy at certain
S2: ages just to say, pick up your clothes, wash. Don't
S2: do this. Do the dishes, do your homework. How come
S2: you're doing this? Don't stay out too late. What are
S2: you watching? And you can feel like a real nag.
S2: And so here's what I want you. I encourage you
S2: to do. For everything negative that you say I want
S2: you to put in your mind. And I'm going to
S2: say something positive. I realize at a certain stage of
S2: my children's life that we were saying, don't, don't, don't do, do, do.
S2: How come, how come, how come? And I realize that
S2: it sounded really always picking on them. And so we determined.
S2: My wife and I determined. We sat down and we said,
S2: we're going to try it for every negative thing that
S2: we say, for every instructive thing that we say, we're
S2: also going to try to do a positive thing as well.
S2: Some days we really had to try to struggle with
S2: a positive thing to say. Number eight neglect. And that self-explanatory.
S2: But your kids need you. Period. Number nine excessive discipline.
S2: On the other hand, sometimes there's a lack of standards
S2: on the other side, sometimes there's excessive discipline. Some of
S2: you grew up old school and your parents used excessive discipline.
S2: Physical discipline like they would be in jail today. I
S2: hear some of the stories, like with what kind of
S2: stick and how bloody were you and. And so there's
S2: appropriate discipline and there's conversational discipline. There's a lot of
S2: creative disciplines, but but excessive discipline can also create a
S2: sense of exasperation in the kids that can lead to rebellion.
S2: And so he says, fathers, do not exasperate your children,
S2: but instead, and he gives the opposite. These things exasperate
S2: your children. That lead them to anger and that lead
S2: them oftentimes to say, I don't care about my parents,
S2: don't talk to me. I don't want to know what
S2: you say. And lead to this, this adversarial relationship with
S2: your parents. But he says instead, the opposite of that,
S2: he says, is to bring them up in the training
S2: and the instruction of the Lord. So instead of exasperating
S2: them by practicing these things, do the opposite and invest
S2: in their lives by doing two things, by making sure
S2: that you're training them, and two, making sure that you're
S2: providing instruction in the Lord. Remember alignment positions you for assignment.
S2: Each of your children have a calling and a destiny
S2: of God. If they get seeds of rebellion in their heart,
S2: they'll run from their calling. They'll run from their assignment.
S2: It may take them a long, long time before they
S2: they circle back to their original calling. So I want
S2: to challenge you to look at your son and daughter
S2: and think to yourself, my son and my daughter, they
S2: have a calling and a purpose and assignment of God.
S2: Since they're young, you need to train them that way.
S2: God has a purpose and a plan and an assignment
S2: for them, and the more I can align them, the
S2: more they'll discover their assignment. What does training mean? Training
S2: has the idea of corrective discipline. Hebrews chapter 12 verse
S2: 11 says no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but
S2: painful later on. However, it produces a harvest of righteousness
S2: and peace for those who have been trained by it.
S2: I'm talking about boundaries and consequences. That's how we train people. Repetition,
S2: boundaries and consequences. Listen, I've had mothers sometimes bring their
S2: sons to me and say, could you cast the demon
S2: out of my son? Because he he just he's out
S2: of control. Can I tell you, nine times out of ten,
S2: there's no demon. They don't need exorcism here. I know
S2: they act like it sometimes, but what they really need
S2: is your consistent training and discipline in the house. The
S2: reason that your sons and daughters don't listen to your
S2: rules is because you have rules. But there's little to
S2: no consequences if they break the rules. Or there's consequences
S2: if you're mad, but not when you're not mad. Consistent
S2: discipline with consequences, shapes and effects our behavior. And then lastly,
S2: it not only says train, but it says instruct. The
S2: idea of instruction has to do with teaching. This is
S2: a positive impartation into their life by what you say
S2: and by how you live. Let me be clear about this.
S2: The church is a support to the family. But listen,
S2: moms and dads, it's not the church that trains your
S2: child to be a follower of Jesus. You. You train
S2: your children to be followers of Jesus. We have them
S2: on an hour and a half on Sunday morning and
S2: Sunday school. You have them all week long. We can support,
S2: we can encourage. But the biggest influence on your children
S2: at this stage of life is you. So I would
S2: encourage you and challenge you to impart into their life.
S2: If your children are small. Small? Can I tell you this, fathers, there's.
S2: I want to strongly, strongly urge you to. Every evening,
S2: be at home for dinner and have have a family
S2: dinner together, especially if your children are small. I want
S2: to challenge you to that. And at your family dinner
S2: when your children are sitting around the table, talk. Turn
S2: off the television. There's no radio, there's no television. You're
S2: not all sitting at the family table looking at the middle. No, no, no.
S2: You're you're sitting there talking with each other. And some
S2: of you, I want to challenge you to even go
S2: further than this. If you're a dad, I'd like for
S2: you to be the guy that prays over the meal.
S2: I'd like for you to initiate. I'd like for you
S2: to say, hey, we're going to bow our heads right now,
S2: and we're going to thank God for this meal. And
S2: some of you, if your children are small, still and
S2: at home, I want to challenge you to pull out
S2: the children's Bible and say, hey, kids, we're going to
S2: read a Bible story right now because your children need
S2: to see the man in the house getting into the
S2: Word of God, reading the Bible, and taking initiative in
S2: spiritual things. I want your little boys to grow up
S2: knowing that men, real men, can be leaders of their household.
S2: I want them to grow up knowing that. Yeah, my
S2: dad prays and reads the Bible and he's a man's man.
S2: I want your kids to know that. I want them
S2: to see that. I want men to step into that
S2: role and realize that they have that call upon their
S2: life as well. Train them and teach them in the
S2: ways of God. I believe that God is calling some
S2: of you. To fight for the destiny of your family.
S2: You may be a son, or a daughter, or a
S2: parent or a grandfather. You may have siblings that have
S2: walked away from God. You may have children that are
S2: prodigal right now, you may feel like your family is
S2: falling apart. And I want to ask you this question
S2: who's going to stand in the gap and say, I'm
S2: going to fight for the destiny and future of my family?
S2: Some of you need to break the cycle of rebellion.
S2: It's been handed down over and over and over to you.
S2: You look around at your cousins and your nieces and
S2: your nephews and other people, and they made a mess
S2: of their life at an early age or are going
S2: down wrong patterns. And listen, someone in your household needs
S2: to say, we're going to break the cycle of rebellion.
S2: We're going to break the cycle of rebellion. We're going
S2: to raise a new generation that's not full of teen pregnancy,
S2: and not full of divorces, and not full of addiction
S2: and not full of depression and people that are making
S2: a mess of their life in an early age. We're
S2: going to break the cycle in Jesus name, and we're
S2: going to start a new cycle in my family, in
S2: my household that will last for the next 20 generations.
S2: In Jesus name. We're going to do that.
S1: The Bible teaching of Mark Jobe on bold steps. Mark,
S1: you mentioned earlier that it's not possible to know every situation,
S1: but I'm sure for most families who are dealing with rebellion,
S1: there is a cycle that needs to be broken here.
S4: Yes. And if you listen to Bold Steps for a while,
S4: you've heard me say we're raising a generation of cycle breakers,
S4: legacy makers, in part because I know that there's a
S4: lot of listeners that have never seen a healthy marriage
S4: up close. You weren't raised in a family that followed. God,
S4: you're a first generation believer. And so it's up to
S4: you to break some cycles that are toxic and start
S4: a legacy that is godly. And I believe that God
S4: is doing that in a lot of lives.
S1: Yeah. Thank you Mark. To revisit or share today's message
S1: or find more Bible teaching content from Mark Jobe, just
S1: go to our website, Bold Steps. And then while you're
S1: on our home page, be sure to request a copy
S1: of our latest Bold Step gift. This is a special
S1: book that really ties into our message and fighting for
S1: your family. It's called lies Girls Believe because young girls
S1: today face unprecedented challenges as they navigate a world flooded
S1: with confusing messages about who they are and what they
S1: should believe in. Her transformative book lies, Girls Belief, Dannah
S1: Gresh provides girls ages 7 to 12 with essential spiritual armor,
S1: identifying and dismantling 20 deceptions with life giving biblical truth
S1: with vibrant illustrations, some compelling stories, and interactive elements. This
S1: resource not only captures young readers attention, but equips them
S1: with foundational truths they will carry into adulthood. Reserve your copy.
S1: This must have guide by contributing to bold steps today.
S1: Just go online to bold steps and request lies. Girls believe.
S1: Or call us at 800. That's 66639. Or if it's easier,
S1: you can send your donation and request for the book
S1: in the mail to Bold steps. 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago,
S1: Illinois 606 ten. And don't miss out on additional inspiration
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S1: when and how to listen to Bold Steps Weekend, just
S1: go to Bold steps.org. I'm Wayne Shepherd, inviting you to
S1: join us tomorrow for a very special in-studio program here
S1: on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a
S1: production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.