S1: Today on bold steps with Mark job. We're learning to
S1: obey authority.
S2: The way that your children learn to submit and obey
S2: and follow rules will affect every area of their life,
S2: and ultimately, they will also respond to God. Unless they
S2: learn how to receive authority, they will spend the rest
S2: of their life rebelling and fighting and never submitting and
S2: usually spiraling out of control.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe, president of Moody
S1: Bible Institute and the senior pastor, New Life Community Church
S1: in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. We've been working our way
S1: through the book of Ephesians with our series Mark, and
S1: today we arrive at chapter six.
S2: Yeah, in chapter six is just a powerful reminder both
S2: to children and to parents that your children need boundaries.
S2: And it's early on in life that they start learning
S2: some of the big lessons that carry over into our
S2: adult life, like how to respond to God's authority, how
S2: to come under authority, how to lead. Uh, these are crucial,
S2: formative years. And God has a lot to say about parenting.
S1: Yeah, we're going to get into it today here again,
S1: Ephesians chapter six. Let's get started. Our message from Mark
S1: the power of role parenting on bold steps.
S2: You know, it's challenging to be a parent, isn't it?
S2: When my daughter was born, the thing about it is
S2: she did not come with an instruction manual. I mean,
S2: or if she did, I missed it. I was there
S2: at the birth, and when she came out, it was like,
S2: I have a daughter, I have a daughter. I thought
S2: she was a boy. First of all, she was going
S2: to be a boy. And so when they said, it's
S2: a girl, I said, it's a girl. My wife was
S2: kind of under drugs. Uh, you know that they give
S2: at birth. Not regular drugs, just birth drugs.
S3: And she says a girl.
S2: And I'm like a girl. Okay. And there was, like,
S2: a switch of gears, like, you know, I had spent
S2: the entire pregnancy saying, hey, champion. Hey, buddy. How you doing?
S2: I'm going to come out and we're going to pal
S2: around together. When was a girl that just changed gears?
S2: It was like, hey, don't look at my girl. I
S2: know it was real protective, but there was no instruction manual.
S2: And I remember feeling this feeling of, wow, I hope
S2: I don't mess her up. I mean, I hope I
S2: know how to be a good parent. I hope that
S2: when they first gave her to me, they said, you
S2: may cut the umbilical cord. I'm like, uh, okay, I'll
S2: cut it. But, you know, I don't want to cut
S2: too close. I may cut something off that I shouldn't
S2: cut off. And so and then they said, okay, you
S2: can hold her now. And I remember saying, well, how
S2: do I hold her, though? I don't want to hold
S2: her the wrong way. Just because I was a new parent,
S2: I didn't know. It only took me a few months
S2: and I was holding her this way, this way, this way.
S2: I mean, I got used to it, became an expert.
S2: When you're a new parent, by the way, you're really
S2: insecure about how you're going to raise your kids and
S2: your real protective of them, right? I remember our first child.
S2: We had a monitor beside their crib. We wanted to
S2: make sure that if she woke up or anything happened,
S2: we could hear. How many of you had baby monitors
S2: besides the crib. Okay. So you'd turn up the volume.
S2: But my wife wanted it so high. I would wake
S2: up thinking there was a dragon in the room, because
S2: I'd hear it was just my baby sleeping. The volume
S2: was so high. By the time our third one came around,
S2: we turned it off. He can cry what he wants.
S2: He needs to get used to sleeping on his own.
S2: You know, you kind of. You become a little bit
S2: more used to. You're not as protective as like, he'll
S2: make it. He can cry himself to sleep. But children
S2: aren't always easy to raise, in part because we're imperfect people.
S2: So therefore imperfect people trying to raise little lives. Sometimes
S2: we have our challenges. I heard of one father who
S2: was scolding his young son for not doing his homework,
S2: and his nine year old son said, well, if I
S2: just had a computer, it would be much easier. The
S2: father said, you don't need a computer when Abraham Lincoln
S2: was your age. He studied by candlelight in a log cabin.
S2: This was a smart boy. So he responded. And when
S2: he when and when he was your age, he was
S2: the president of the United States. So you gotta you
S2: gotta watch it. Because these kids are pretty smart these days.
S2: But today I want to begin reading in verse six
S2: of Ephesians chapter six, it says, children, obey your parents
S2: in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father
S2: and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise
S2: that it may go well with you, and that you
S2: may enjoy long life on earth. Fathers, do not exasperate
S2: your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and
S2: instruction of the Lord. There's only four verses here this morning,
S2: but these are power packed verses that I want to
S2: focus on for the remaining time that we have. I
S2: want to start out just by. If you're taking notes,
S2: write this down understanding the power of your rule number one.
S2: A son or daughter's attitudes towards parents will affect the
S2: quality and the longevity of their life. It says children,
S2: obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
S2: I looked up the word children there because I wanted
S2: to make sure what we were talking about, what age
S2: group we were talking about. And I discovered that this
S2: really is not talking to small children. It really the
S2: translation says offspring obey your parents in the Lord. And
S2: so I started to think, well, how old does someone
S2: have to be to continue to fall under the category
S2: of having to obey your parents? Now we understand that
S2: a four year old is supposed to obey their parents.
S2: We understand that a 12 year old is supposed to
S2: obey their parents. What about an 18 year old? 21
S2: year old. What about a 25 year old? What about
S2: a 40 year old? I mean, when does it stop?
S2: Is this only for children under the age of 12,
S2: or does this go all the way up into your 50, 60, 70? Okay.
S2: Good question. It refers to offspring and so it's not
S2: age related. However, the latter part of this verse helps
S2: explain the first part of this verse, because the first
S2: part of this verse says, children, obey your parents in
S2: the Lord, for this is right. And then it goes
S2: on to say, honor your father and mother. So there
S2: is a point of transition that we go from merely
S2: obeying to honoring. The word honor means that we give weight.
S2: The literal word in the Greek means that we give
S2: weight to something. In other words, we give value to something.
S2: The opposite of honor is to take lightly. Someone says
S2: something and you just kind of dismiss it. You take
S2: it lightly. Honor means you take it seriously, that you
S2: give value to something. That when someone gives you their opinion, you, you,
S2: you really value it. And it's an important weight in you.
S2: You you add value to the way you treat them.
S2: you take them seriously and the way you approach them
S2: and talk to them and deal with them, that's what
S2: it means. To honor those is a point in our
S2: life where we transition from obedience to honoring. What is
S2: that point? Well, the Bible's not very clear and specific
S2: about that point. However, I think there are some principles
S2: found in Scripture that can help us there. It refers
S2: to offspring. So therefore, here's how I would break it down.
S2: As long as you are living in your parents household
S2: and financially dependent upon your parents, you live under their
S2: household and you are financially dependent upon your parents, then
S2: probably you fall into the category of obeying your parents.
S2: Once you become independent and out of the household, financially independent,
S2: living on your own, then you transition to the Into
S2: the category of honoring your parents, which means you no
S2: longer have to obey them, but you have to honor them.
S2: So yeah, some of you are thinking through that right now.
S2: So exactly. So if you are 18 years old right
S2: now and you couldn't wait to turn 18 so you
S2: could tell your mom and dad, hey, I'm 18 now.
S2: I have no curfew. I can kind of do. I'm
S2: not a kid anymore. Then I'm going to ask you
S2: to pause and think a second. As long as you're
S2: under your parents roof, as long as they're paying the bills.
S2: As long as you're financially dependent upon them. Whose household
S2: is that? That's Mom and Dad's household. And as long
S2: as you're in Mom and Dad's household and dependent on
S2: them and financially dependent on them, then you follow their
S2: rules because it's their household. You say, well, pastor, I'm
S2: 40 years old. I'm still living at home, still depend
S2: on my parents. Well, then you need to get a
S2: job and get a life, sir, because it's about time
S2: you start supporting your parents and not living off your parents. Okay.
S2: So as long as you're there now, if you want independence,
S2: I run into this all the time. I run into
S2: a 21 year old that's living at their household and
S2: is at odds with their parents because they're saying, hey,
S2: I'm 21, I can drink, I can do whatever I can,
S2: you know, go in the basement, I can smoke a
S2: little whatever I want to smoke, I can drink, have
S2: my friends over party because I'm 21. You can't tell
S2: me anything. And I'm saying, listen, as long as you're
S2: part of your parents household, you're under their roof. You're
S2: financially dependent upon them. Then you are still under the
S2: obligation to obey them because it is their house, their rules,
S2: their household. If you're grown up enough to live on
S2: your own, then go live on your own. You know
S2: how many kids have gone on to live on their own,
S2: and in four months they're back knocking at their the door. Mom,
S2: can I move in? Uh, why are you back? I
S2: couldn't pay my rent, and I realized I had a
S2: lot better at home than it had over here. And
S2: life's expensive. And my. My laundry's piled up. I've lost
S2: £10 because there's no food in the refrigerator, and they're
S2: back at home. Listen, parents, if it's your household, you
S2: set the rules in your household and listen. The directive
S2: here is towards the children. He's not addressing parents. Paul
S2: is actually addressing children or young adults. And he's saying, listen,
S2: you are to obey your parents. That means you may
S2: feel like I have an opinion of my own. My
S2: parents aren't always right. And it's true. Your parents aren't
S2: always right. You say, well, I'm smarter than my parents.
S2: It may be true. Maybe you're smarter. Maybe you think
S2: you're smarter. You may say, well, my parent doesn't even
S2: come to church, doesn't even read the Bible, doesn't even
S2: follow God. The Bible is clear about that. It's not
S2: a conditional if you have great, perfect parents, then obey them.
S2: The Bible simply says, children, obey your parents in the Lord,
S2: for this is right. In essence, what you're doing is
S2: God is calling you as a child. As a young adult,
S2: God is saying, I've put an authority over you. The
S2: authority of your household is your parents. This is not
S2: a democracy. This is not a let's all vote on
S2: it and see what we want. This is actually yeah,
S2: this is actually some authority placed over your life. Why?
S2: Because in the realm of there being authority, there is
S2: also order. The time will come when you can lead,
S2: but there's a season in which you submit and obey.
S2: And unless you can learn to submit and obey, you
S2: will never learn to lead. How many of you know that?
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with pastor Mark Jobe. We're
S1: pausing our message for just a moment to talk a
S1: little bit about our Bold Partner program. Mark, let's explain
S1: what a bold partner accomplishes here.
S2: Yeah. So our bold partners are people that choose to
S2: support this program on a monthly basis. It's that simple.
S2: So any dollar amount. But as people that say I'm
S2: committed enough to every month give a donation and you
S2: can automate that so you don't have to worry about
S2: sending it every month. But we're very, very grateful for
S2: bold partners. And we offer special things for our bold partners,
S2: just as incentives to say thank you.
S1: One of those things is your book, unstuck, which you're
S1: you're signing those books right now, aren't you?
S2: I'm in the studio signing these books right now, my
S2: hands a little tired.
S1: But.
S2: We continue to.
S1: Go forward. May your hand get more tired because we
S1: need more bold partners. Yes we do. Well, Judy Krohn
S1: has joined us in the studio because, Judy, I want
S1: our listeners to understand what is accomplished when our bold
S1: partners get behind this ministry.
S4: Well, one of the things that is accomplished are life
S4: impact through our listeners. So your gift to bold steps
S4: is really making a difference in the lives of listeners.
S4: And we're hearing back from people. We are all around
S4: the United States.
S1: Here's Mary, for example, in Florida. My bold step is
S1: to keep reaching out to my friend in need, no
S1: matter how much she pushes away.
S2: I love that. And here's one from Adam in Cleveland, Ohio.
S2: He said I hadn't been to church or read the
S2: Bible regularly for the last 30 years. That changed a
S2: little over a month ago. I was in a dark,
S2: deep hole spiritually, and even though I am struggling, I
S2: realize I need Jesus. God bless all of you at Moody, Adam.
S2: That is so encouraging.
S1: Thank you Adam.
S2: And may God bring you completely out of that dark hole.
S4: And here's one from Cathy in Boca Raton, Florida. She
S4: says after moving to South Florida, I found myself surrounded
S4: by people of the Jewish faith and culture. I learned
S4: of their religious practices and even attended a neighborly Seder.
S4: Today I find myself working for Jewish people, planning holiday
S4: dinners for them. I have the chance to be bold
S4: by telling them about Jesus being the Passover Lamb, and
S4: how I am an adopted Jew grafted in by the
S4: blood of Jesus. And that really resonates with me. Thank
S4: you Kathy.
S1: Yeah, it's hard to know where to stop in sharing these, Mark,
S1: but maybe a couple of more. Do you want to
S1: read that next one? It's in front of us here.
S2: Sure. We have another one from Pamela in Illinois. And
S2: she says, my be bold moment came in the form
S2: of saying no to my best friend from childhood. We
S2: both had moved into a rural community and started first
S2: grade together in a country school. We had sleepovers, birthday parties,
S2: bike rides, and just fun times. It all changed once
S2: we reached our junior high high school years. She opened
S2: her purse one day and offered me some marijuana. That
S2: was a defining moment. I chose to stand for my
S2: beliefs and love for Jesus Christ. I can honestly say
S2: that I have never regretted my decision to follow Christ,
S2: rather than to give in to peer pressure. Wow, that
S2: is powerful, Pamela, and may your children, if you have
S2: them and other kids, hear this testimony as well.
S4: And then another one here, just quickly from Linda in Hebron, Indiana.
S4: My be bold step is trying to apply the 30
S4: days of Love to my husband during a difficult time
S4: in our marriage.
S1: Wow. Well, this is a sample of the Ministry of
S1: Bold Steps in People's Lives, Mark, and we're so grateful
S1: for those who make it possible.
S2: Yeah, we are so grateful for our bold partners. Thank you,
S2: thank you, thank you. And again, if you want to
S2: join our bold partner team, all you have to do, Wayne,
S2: help us out.
S1: Go to Bold Steps radio.org, and we'd love to have
S1: you sign up as a bold partner, giving a gift
S1: of any amount to bold steps. And also, if you
S1: have a testimony, we'd love to hear that testimony that
S1: your bold testimony. Go to npr.org and click on Bold
S1: Testimonies and share your story with us. Judy. Mark, thank
S1: you very much.
S4: You're welcome.
S1: This timeout, a very encouraging timeout. Let's get back into
S1: Mark's message now.
S2: I really believe unless you learn to submit and obey.
S2: And that's why the Bible is so strong about it
S2: when talking to children. Because the way that your children
S2: learn to submit and obey and follow rules will affect
S2: every area of their life. One day they will go
S2: to school and have to submit to rules of the school.
S2: One day they will have a job and being under
S2: an employer, they will have to pay taxes. They will
S2: be in some system of authority all of their lives.
S2: And ultimately they will also respond to God unless they
S2: learn how to obey, unless they learn how to receive authority,
S2: unless they learn, they will they will spend the rest
S2: of their life rebelling and fighting and never submitting and
S2: usually spiraling out of control. Jesus, by the way, the
S2: Bible tells us was in perfect submission to the father.
S2: And Jesus said, not my will, but yours be done.
S2: When he faced the crucifixion, he didn't say, well, father,
S2: let's negotiate here. I mean, I just don't think it's
S2: fair that I go to the cross while you're in glory.
S2: And plus, I live perfect. I mean, I have no sin.
S2: I mean, this just doesn't make sense to me. Why
S2: should I pay for someone else's sin and suffer and die?
S2: Because it's. You know, the Bible says that in Gethsemane,
S2: Jesus struggled and he said, let this cup pass from me,
S2: but not my will, but yours be done. And because
S2: Jesus was in perfect submission to the father, Jesus had
S2: perfect authority. Jesus authority came through the submission to his
S2: God given authority. And because he was in submission to
S2: his authority, he had perfect authority. There was never a
S2: time where Jesus prayed for a person that was sick
S2: that he did not get healed. There was never a
S2: time where he touched a deaf man that did not
S2: receive his hearing. There's not a time where he touched
S2: a leper and the leopard wasn't clean. There's not a
S2: time when he expelled the demon that a demon didn't go.
S2: Jesus had perfect authority, but he had perfect authority because
S2: he was in perfect submission to the authority of his
S2: of his father here on earth. Therefore, because he learned
S2: perfect submission, he also had perfect authority. You will never
S2: learn to lead, unless, first of all, you learn to follow.
S2: You will never have authority unless, first of all, you
S2: place yourself under authority. That's why the Bible talks so
S2: strongly about the need to obey and be under the
S2: authority of those that God has placed over us. I
S2: started pastoring this church when I was 21 years old.
S2: That's way too young. But I believe that there's some
S2: lessons God had to teach me before I started pastoring
S2: that I needed to learn about submission and authority. And
S2: unless I had learned those lessons, I don't believe I
S2: would ever have had the authority to lead. I was
S2: 21 and leading and leading people that were double my age.
S2: I was counseling marriages and I wasn't even married. But but,
S2: but part of the lessons that I had to learn
S2: was the lesson of submission being under authority. Listen, young men,
S2: if you're a teenager right now and you're 18 years old, listen,
S2: you will never be able to lead your household unless,
S2: first of all, you learn to submit to the leader
S2: of your household. One day you will have a family.
S2: One day you will have kids, one day you will
S2: lead a household. And you're never going to learn to lead.
S2: Unless first of all, you learn to submit.
S1: This is bold steps and you're listening to the Bible
S1: teaching of Mark Jobe. We'll continue this message titled The
S1: Power of Royal Parenting when we come back tomorrow. If
S1: you've missed any of the messages in this series, remember
S1: you can catch up online when you go to Bold steps.org.
S1: On our website, you can also request our current Bold
S1: Step gift and to tell you more about this month's
S1: special book. Here again is Mark with author and pastor
S1: Mike Fabares.
S2: Well, you know, there's some sins that are easy to
S2: spot in our lives, but others, they're like hidden snipers
S2: taking shots at our spiritual health, and we don't even
S2: notice it. Right?
S1: That's right. Yeah.
S2: And, uh, pastor Mike Fabares, your book, envy, tackles one
S2: of these stealth sins. You call it actually a diabolical
S2: sin that's at the root of many of our problems.
S2: Tell me, pastor Mike, why this is so dangerous?
S5: Well, it's dangerous because it can do a lot of damage.
S5: If you think about the church, I'm not the first
S5: in church history to call it a diabolical sin. It
S5: has been a foundational sin, a cardinal sin, a, you know,
S5: a root of all kinds of other sins. And yet
S5: in our generation, I just I had never read a
S5: book on it. I had never heard a sermon on it.
S5: And I realized as I went through my ministry, I
S5: see this problem springing up with a ton of different symptoms.
S5: But the core problem is that we are envious of
S5: other people's success.
S2: The subtitle of the book is A Big Problem You
S2: Didn't Know You Had, and I was thinking about that.
S2: Most people that I talked to, I don't know if
S2: I've ever heard of someone say, you know, my problem
S2: is I'm envious. No one ever says that. That I remember. Like,
S2: my problem is I have envy. Tell us why it's
S2: hard to self-diagnose.
S5: Well, because I think we often justify the fact that, uh,
S5: you know, I'm just trying to move forward in life,
S5: and I'd sure like to have what he has or
S5: some gal saying, I'd like to look like she looks,
S5: or I'd like to have the influence that he has.
S5: And we think, okay, well, that's just part of our
S5: ambitious desire to do well in life. And we don't
S5: realize that it's starting to color the way we make decisions,
S5: how we view other people, how we talk about other
S5: people behind their backs. And it really starts to just
S5: disrupt our relationships. It can ruin a small group and
S5: it can split churches. It is really an explosive sin,
S5: and we don't often identify it like we ought to.
S1: Mike, you know, when you read scripture with this in mind,
S1: suddenly it pops up everywhere, doesn't it?
S5: Yeah. It does. Yeah. From the very beginning in Genesis,
S5: we don't get out of the first family until we
S5: see Cain rising up to kill Abel, because he was
S5: envious of him all the way to the New Testament Gospels.
S5: It's interesting that Pilate immediately looks at this scene of
S5: the Sanhedrin and the Pharisees delivering Jesus over to be crucified.
S5: And he diagnoses the problem and he says, you guys
S5: are envious of this man. It really is true that
S5: it's everywhere, and it is the fountainhead of all kinds
S5: of problems in our lives.
S1: Well, let's talk more about that in the days to come.
S1: As we continue to talk with pastor Mike Fabares about
S1: his book, envy a Big problem you didn't know you had.
S1: Our bold step gift. Mike, thank you so much. And
S1: the book is yours with a gift of any amount
S1: to support this ministry. Just call us at 800 Moody.
S1: That's (800) 356-6639. Or give online at Bold Steps. And then
S1: don't forget here at Bold Steps. We love getting letters
S1: from listeners like the one we heard earlier. And if
S1: you'd like to connect with us, be sure to write
S1: to us at Bold Steps. 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago,
S1: Illinois 606 ten. But you can also send us a
S1: message online, through our website, or through email at Bold Steps. Well,
S1: give us a call and leave your message on a
S1: recorded line by dialing (312) 329-2011. That's 312329 2011. You can
S1: also stay connected to Mark and the team throughout the
S1: week by going to your favorite social media platform. You'll
S1: find us listed as Bold Steps Radio on Facebook, Instagram
S1: and YouTube. Full of fresh content and special video lessons
S1: you don't want to miss. And that's our time for today,
S1: but be sure to join us again tomorrow when Mark
S1: continues this message on the power of royal parenting. Learn
S1: more about the promise that comes with honoring your parents.
S1: The message comes from our series titled When You Believe
S1: Everything Changes. So be listening Thursday to Bold Steps with
S1: Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of Moody Radio,
S1: a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.