1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:10,040 S1: Happy New Year and welcome to 2026 at the Radio 2 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:12,240 S1: Backyard Fence. Oh, I hope you're having a good New 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,480 S1: Year's Day. I have something special for you at the 4 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,680 S1: back fence. All this week, we've been airing conversations from 5 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,280 S1: the past year that moved me in some way. There 6 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,360 S1: was some kind of connection that was made during that hour, 7 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,400 S1: and today's program is no different right here on the 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,600 S1: first day of the new year. It's from the end 9 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:35,440 S1: of October, and I was looking forward to that conversation 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:39,519 S1: because I resonate so deeply with the thesis of our guest. 11 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,800 S1: He says, the quality of your life is determined by 12 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:49,040 S1: the quality of the questions you ask God, yourself and others. 13 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:53,160 S1: He believes there is an art to the questions we ask. 14 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,880 S1: How do you move from good to great questions? What 15 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,810 S1: makes a great question? If our guest is correct, the 16 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:04,370 S1: key to a deeper, more meaningful life isn't the answers 17 00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:09,130 S1: we glean necessarily, but the questions we ask. Do you 18 00:01:09,130 --> 00:01:13,410 S1: think that's true? What are the ramifications of that, and 19 00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:17,330 S1: how might it change your life today as well as 20 00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:20,410 S1: in the future? I really believe this could be a 21 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:24,210 S1: game changer for you. It's one of my resolutions for 22 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,170 S1: the new year, though I try to avoid those. I 23 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:31,770 S1: really want to ask better questions and then listen more. 24 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:36,289 S1: This year. So I chose this as our first conversation 25 00:01:36,290 --> 00:01:38,650 S1: of the new Year. And we'll get to that straight 26 00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:41,090 S1: ahead on the program with questions from the heart to 27 00:01:41,130 --> 00:01:45,330 S1: the heart. And for the heart. Since our conversation is recorded, 28 00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:48,290 S1: we will not be taking your calls today and you're 29 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:53,090 S1: going to hear some dated information from October, so disregard that. 30 00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:56,450 S1: We begin with a thank you to some great team members, 31 00:01:56,450 --> 00:02:00,420 S1: Ryan McConaughey doing all things technical. Tricia is our producer. 32 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:04,380 S1: And since this is the first program in January, we 33 00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:08,380 S1: have a new resource for anyone who supports Chris Fabry live. 34 00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:11,660 S1: And I'm excited to tell you our thank you. This 35 00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:14,900 S1: month is Doctor Michael Rudnick's book that came out a 36 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:19,180 S1: couple of months ago, How Should Christians Think about Israel? 37 00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:23,340 S1: A Quick Guide to God's covenants, biblical prophecy, and the 38 00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:26,420 S1: Jewish people. It's not a big book. It's a little 39 00:02:26,419 --> 00:02:30,019 S1: more than 100 pages, but it provides a really helpful 40 00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:34,900 S1: overview of what has become a controversial topic today. Should 41 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:38,500 S1: Christians support the modern state of Israel? How should we 42 00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:42,140 S1: view Israel, the Jewish people and the church? What makes 43 00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:46,540 S1: Israel so special? If you go to Chris Fabry Livorno 44 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:49,620 S1: and scroll down, you'll see how you can give a 45 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:54,500 S1: gift and get us started well in 2026 and receive 46 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:59,790 S1: this biblical resource. How should Christians think about Israel? Go 47 00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:06,190 S1: to Chris Livorno, Chris Fabbri, Livorno and thanks for your 48 00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:10,550 S1: support of the radio backyard fence. We live in a 49 00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:14,430 S1: world that has conditioned us toward answers. We've been taught 50 00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:17,470 S1: to give the right answers, yet little attention has been 51 00:03:17,470 --> 00:03:20,950 S1: given to teaching us how to ask the right questions. 52 00:03:21,510 --> 00:03:24,230 S1: We don't have a shortage of information. We have a 53 00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:31,230 S1: shortage of wisdom, curiosity, and wonder. Asking good questions is 54 00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:35,390 S1: a lost art. What if our obsession with the right 55 00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:40,190 S1: answers is blinding us to the power of better questions? 56 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:43,990 S1: What if we learned to ask the right questions at 57 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:48,230 S1: the right time for the right reason? So begins J.R. 58 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:54,190 S1: Briggs book, the Art of Asking Better Questions, pursuing stronger relationships, 59 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:58,840 S1: healthier leadership, and deeper faith. It's our featured resource at 60 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:03,120 S1: Chris Dot Jr is the founder of Kairos Partnerships, an 61 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:08,360 S1: organization committed to serving hungry leaders through coaching, consulting, and speaking. 62 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,800 S1: He serves on staff with the Ekklesia Network and Fresh 63 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,280 S1: Expressions guest instructor at Friends University. In the Masters of 64 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,920 S1: Spiritual Formation and Leadership Program. He's written a number of 65 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,719 S1: books The Sacred Overlap, fail, eldership, and The Mission of God. 66 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,800 S1: But today we're going to talk about the art of 67 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,479 S1: asking better questions. JR welcome to the program. How are 68 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:30,279 S1: you doing today? 69 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,280 S2: I'm doing great. Thanks for having me, Chris. It's good 70 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:33,960 S2: to be here. 71 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,800 S1: That wasn't a very good question to open. How you doing? 72 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,559 S1: You know, it's kind of a surface level. I should 73 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,120 S1: I should have thought more about that, but I do. 74 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,440 S1: I'm glad that you're here. Um, first question that I 75 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,640 S1: have for you is when did you discover the power 76 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:50,600 S1: of questions? 77 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,170 S2: Yeah, there were several factors, but when I first discovered 78 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,890 S2: it was in my house, in my home. Growing up, 79 00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:01,529 S2: my parents were great at asking questions, especially my father, 80 00:05:01,529 --> 00:05:05,089 S2: and I watched him ask questions of my younger brother 81 00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:08,650 S2: and me, and with neighbors and those at church and 82 00:05:08,650 --> 00:05:11,650 S2: those that we'd see out in public. And I just 83 00:05:11,650 --> 00:05:15,250 S2: began to see how he was having such fascinating conversations 84 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,330 S2: with other people. And, um, and I so that was 85 00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,409 S2: the first marker in my brain. But there were others 86 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:23,929 S2: along the way in my, my growing up years of 87 00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:27,410 S2: just realizing the people that I looked up to, the 88 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,930 S2: people that were inspiring, that were fun to be around, 89 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,770 S2: that were life giving, that cared about others, that made 90 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:36,970 S2: others feel special, were those that were asking really good questions. 91 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,609 S2: On the flip side, I began to notice those who 92 00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:42,490 S2: weren't all that fun or interesting to be around. They 93 00:05:42,490 --> 00:05:47,210 S2: often live very small lives, uninteresting lives. I began to say. Huh? 94 00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:50,450 S2: They don't ask very many good questions. They're not intentional. 95 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:54,380 S2: They're not engaging in those. And I began to say, wow, 96 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:57,740 S2: there's a difference here. And the factor seems to be 97 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:02,659 S2: that those who live bigger lives, lives of purpose beyond themselves, 98 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:06,580 S2: inspiring lives. They were asking different questions. And even as 99 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:09,260 S2: I got older, began, uh, began to force me to 100 00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:12,260 S2: look at the questions that Jesus asked. And I began 101 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,900 S2: to do a deep dive of study on this to say, huh? 102 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:19,060 S2: We study Jesus's miracles. We study his parables. We study 103 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:22,660 S2: his teachings, we study all sorts of things. But as Christians, 104 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:26,820 S2: we hardly ever study his questions. And yet he asked 105 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,180 S2: over 300 of them, and many of them led to 106 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:34,420 S2: life change and connection and participation deeper in the kingdom 107 00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:37,140 S2: of God. And I began to go, oh, I need 108 00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,700 S2: to study this. So it was the confluence of of 109 00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:43,420 S2: these factors coming together that led me to an obsession 110 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,140 S2: with learning to ask better questions. Hmm. 111 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:49,219 S1: That's really the section of the book that caused me 112 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:51,700 S1: that turned the key for me, because I've been asking 113 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,909 S1: that same thing. It's like in in the Life of Jesus, 114 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:58,230 S1: there are so many times in the Gospels where I 115 00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:01,870 S1: will see him ask a question that feels like that's 116 00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:05,789 S1: too obvious. You know, the blind Bartimaeus comes to him 117 00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,270 S1: and he's there and he's blind, and he's been blind 118 00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:10,470 S1: for a long time, and he's going to be blind. 119 00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:12,990 S1: And Jesus says, what do you want me to do 120 00:07:12,990 --> 00:07:15,350 S1: for you? It was like, duh, what do you think 121 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:18,150 S1: he's going to say? Jesus. But but you make the 122 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:21,830 S1: point that Jesus is not just asking these questions to 123 00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:26,830 S1: get information from somebody else. He's asking deeper questions. There 124 00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:30,989 S1: are you read between the lines of his obvious quote 125 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:33,070 S1: unquote obvious questions. Right? 126 00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:38,070 S2: Absolutely. That's exactly right. So Jesus asking questions as a 127 00:07:38,070 --> 00:07:41,310 S2: second member of the Trinity, there are many times he 128 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,950 S2: already he knows he knows the answers to these questions. 129 00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:47,190 S2: So why is he asking them? Well, there are several reasons. Um, 130 00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:49,670 S2: he does it as a as a way of teaching 131 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:53,360 S2: lessons to people. We participate in something when people ask 132 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:57,400 S2: us questions rather than giving us answers. There's honor and dignity, 133 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:02,560 S2: redemption and compassion. There's, uh, reframing and challenging different assumptions. 134 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:06,760 S2: It's a way of drawing people out, people's deepest desires, 135 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,800 S2: you know. What do you want me to do for you? 136 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,040 S2: You know? What do you think? Jesus, right. That's the 137 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:16,320 S2: snarky answer. But Jesus knew. But he needed Bartimaeus to 138 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:21,680 S2: know what Bartimaeus wanted. And that's the participation. Um, Heather Holloman, 139 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,880 S2: who teaches at Penn State University. She said the purpose 140 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:29,640 S2: of questions are twofold clarity and engagement. Sometimes we need 141 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,000 S2: clarity in terms of information. You know, what time is 142 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,760 S2: the game tonight? That's a that's a fine question. We 143 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,280 S2: need that clarity. But so many of the questions that 144 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:42,520 S2: we ask and potentially could ask are for engagement. And 145 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,880 S2: that could be discovering something new, engaging with a new 146 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,970 S2: topic or a new idea, but especially with connecting relationally 147 00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:52,610 S2: with others. And that's certainly what we see Jesus doing 148 00:08:52,770 --> 00:08:56,410 S2: with many of his questions is engaging with other people. 149 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,490 S2: And he learned this from his father. You know, the 150 00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:01,410 S2: book of John says that he doesn't do anything than 151 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,970 S2: what he sees his father doing. What did his father do? 152 00:09:03,970 --> 00:09:07,089 S2: All throughout the Old Testament, we see God the Father 153 00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:10,450 S2: asking questions. Why would the God of the universe, who 154 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:15,610 S2: knows everything, ask questions? It's to connect with, to love, 155 00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:21,689 S2: to challenge, to draw deeper, closer to the his own creation. 156 00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:24,490 S2: And what a God who would be so loving to 157 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:28,130 S2: humble himself and to love us enough to want to 158 00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:31,170 S2: reach down and ask us questions to connect with us further. 159 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,050 S2: I just love it. I mean, there's just so many 160 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:36,370 S2: cool interplays that exist between the questions of God, which 161 00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:39,130 S2: there are a lot, and the questions of Jesus in 162 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,490 S2: the New Testament, which there are a lot, and we 163 00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:42,650 S2: can learn a lot from them. 164 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,410 S1: I love that in the garden, you know, walking in 165 00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:48,380 S1: the in the garden, where are you? It's like, well, 166 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,780 S1: wait a minute. You're God, you know it. You know 167 00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,700 S1: where he is. Why are you asking? Where are you? Oh, 168 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:55,459 S1: so the question is not for God to know where 169 00:09:55,620 --> 00:10:00,620 S1: Adam and Eve are. It's for them to ask the question, 170 00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:03,140 S1: where are we and why are we here and why 171 00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:06,660 S1: are we hiding? And okay, so you get the idea 172 00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:10,740 S1: behind J.R. Briggs's book, the Art of Asking Better Questions. 173 00:10:11,059 --> 00:10:13,260 S1: But we're going to go deeper today because there's a 174 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,860 S1: husband or a wife who's listening and you say, there's this. 175 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:18,660 S1: I used to ask my my spouse questions. I used 176 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,940 S1: to have we used to have these long conversations and 177 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:23,060 S1: we don't do that anymore. Why is that? Or do 178 00:10:23,059 --> 00:10:25,700 S1: you have a teenager in the house and you ask 179 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:29,340 S1: the question every day? So what happened at school today, honey? 180 00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:33,660 S1: And you get, uh, you don't hear any answer. Maybe 181 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:37,780 S1: there's a better question that you can ask your spouse 182 00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:42,060 S1: or your child or your friend or somebody at church 183 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:45,860 S1: that your first meeting. Maybe there's a better question that 184 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:49,030 S1: will lead you to someplace deeper. That's what I hope 185 00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:53,950 S1: will happen in this conversation here at the radio backyard fence. J.R. Briggs, 186 00:10:53,990 --> 00:10:57,910 S1: The Art of Asking Better Questions is our featured resource 187 00:10:57,910 --> 00:11:05,470 S1: at Kris. Again, go to Kris because there's some great 188 00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:19,830 S1: questions coming up straight ahead on Moody Radio. He is 189 00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:25,750 S1: a professional question asker. J.R. Briggs is his name. His 190 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,830 S1: question is what if the key to a deeper, more 191 00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:32,589 S1: meaningful life lies in the questions you ask, the questions 192 00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:37,589 S1: that you consider for others, also for yourself. The Art 193 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:42,150 S1: of Asking Better Questions is our featured resource today. Kris. Org. Okay, 194 00:11:42,230 --> 00:11:44,429 S1: so your first answer to this. You know, where did 195 00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:48,550 S1: this where did you discover this power? Was your dad 196 00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:52,670 S1: your parents? So is there a sense that somebody has 197 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,870 S1: to have the vision of this and it's caught rather 198 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:56,710 S1: than taught? 199 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,350 S2: It's a great question. I think I'd even back up 200 00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:03,030 S2: a little bit further and say it's some people say, 201 00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,710 S2: just tell me the tricks, you know, just give me 202 00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:06,870 S2: the tools. And I say, whoa, whoa, whoa, we've got 203 00:12:06,870 --> 00:12:10,070 S2: to back up because this isn't 17 things. Add water 204 00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:12,750 S2: and stir and you'll be able to ask questions brilliantly. 205 00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:14,990 S2: You have to want it. And there has to be 206 00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:19,790 S2: a genuine desire and a realization of the power of 207 00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:23,429 S2: what questions can unlock. You know, questions. There's so much power. 208 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:25,550 S2: I mean, if we think if any of your listeners 209 00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:28,510 S2: are just thinking through, um, you know, what are some 210 00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,950 S2: questions that I've been asked that have changed my life? 211 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,390 S2: It could be, Will you marry me, Jesus saying, do 212 00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:35,270 S2: you want to follow me? Uh, do you want to 213 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:37,589 S2: take this job? Do you want to move across the country? 214 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,350 S2: I mean, there are several questions we've been asked that 215 00:12:40,350 --> 00:12:43,110 S2: have had a huge impact on our lives. Maybe it's 216 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:46,559 S2: a question that somebody asked in passing, but it just 217 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,680 S2: grabbed us by the throat metaphorically and just wouldn't let go. 218 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,959 S2: Or maybe we've asked questions of other people which could 219 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,959 S2: be good, or even bad or harmful, that have caused 220 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,680 S2: an impact on ourselves or other people. Once we realize 221 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:04,160 S2: the power of that, then we begin. We can begin 222 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,560 S2: to to move forward. If somebody says, you know, I 223 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,480 S2: want to be a great dad, but I didn't have 224 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:12,120 S2: a dad growing up, you can still learn. I really 225 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,359 S2: believe that Maurice Kaufman taught. But even if it wasn't 226 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,800 S2: taught well for you, maybe you didn't grow up in 227 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,960 S2: a home like I did where it was modeled. Well, 228 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,920 S2: you still can learn, but it's got to start with 229 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,960 S2: a deep desire that this is important. I'm going to 230 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,160 S2: put some intentionality and some effort into this because it's 231 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,880 S2: worth it. Then you can build on some of the skills. 232 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,600 S1: I asked that question on Facebook and Laura answered, I 233 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,480 S1: had a doctor years ago that always asked, what do 234 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,770 S1: you do for fun? Life gets so busy and it's 235 00:13:43,770 --> 00:13:46,010 S1: so easy to forget to have fun. I make it 236 00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:50,330 S1: a priority now. So just that question from a doctor 237 00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:55,290 S1: in in a way helped frame her life and however 238 00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:57,849 S1: long ago that was, it's affecting her today. 239 00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:01,370 S2: Absolutely, absolutely. And I think if we all took some 240 00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:04,360 S2: time to generate a list of the top 10 to 241 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,770 S2: 20 questions that have had the biggest impact on our 242 00:14:06,809 --> 00:14:10,170 S2: on our lives, we might be surprised. Maybe it's from 243 00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:12,370 S2: an aunt or a neighbor, or a classmate, or a 244 00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:16,290 S2: teacher or a doctor. Um, because, you know the beautiful 245 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:21,290 S2: thing about questions, it forces us to think in new directions. Um, 246 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,810 S2: many people have probably heard the Harvard study of adult development. 247 00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:28,450 S2: It began back in 1938, and it is the longest 248 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:33,530 S2: investigation into adult life ever conducted. And so over the decades, 249 00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:37,410 S2: these researchers studied every major domain of life mental health, 250 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:42,060 S2: physical health, work, relationships, how people aged and after following 251 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,420 S2: thousands of people from their teens through their 80s and 90s, 252 00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:47,740 S2: they examined the data all the way through. In each 253 00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:49,940 S2: of those decades, to find out who would stay the 254 00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:54,260 S2: healthiest and live the longest, they discovered something remarkable. The 255 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:57,740 S2: best predictor of who would live a happy, healthy life 256 00:14:57,900 --> 00:15:02,860 S2: wasn't blood pressure. It wasn't cholesterol levels. It wasn't education levels. 257 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,180 S2: It was the quality of their connections with other people. 258 00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:09,700 S2: The people who were more connected to others stayed healthier 259 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:13,020 S2: and were happier throughout their entire lives, lifetimes. And it 260 00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:16,180 S2: wasn't simply about just seeing more people each week. It 261 00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:20,500 S2: was about having warmer, more meaningful connections. All that to say, 262 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:25,100 S2: quality trumped quantity in every measure that the Harvard Study 263 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:29,660 S2: of Adult Development studied. And I just really believe even 264 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:32,900 S2: even though we're quote unquote, well past the pandemic, there's 265 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:36,140 S2: still such a longing for connection for people to have 266 00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:39,460 S2: and the ubiquity of of screens. Now they're everywhere. But 267 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,470 S2: people long to connect. And one of the best ways, Chris, 268 00:15:42,470 --> 00:15:45,670 S2: that we can connect with other people is when we 269 00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:50,870 S2: ask thoughtful, intentional questions. Here's the simple universal rule I've 270 00:15:50,870 --> 00:15:54,070 S2: found when it comes to questions. If we ask other 271 00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:59,310 S2: people an unthoughtful generic answer, we will often get an 272 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:03,230 S2: unthoughtful generic a question. We get an unthoughtful generic answer. 273 00:16:03,270 --> 00:16:05,750 S2: You know, like what's up? How are you doing? Fine. 274 00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:11,830 S2: But but if we ask an intentional, engaging, thoughtful question, 275 00:16:12,790 --> 00:16:17,630 S2: we often get, more often than not, a really thoughtful, engaging, 276 00:16:17,630 --> 00:16:23,190 S2: specific answer. So it's ask and you shall receive. Um, 277 00:16:23,230 --> 00:16:25,830 S2: and that's a beautiful thing. You know, it's as predictable 278 00:16:25,830 --> 00:16:29,390 S2: as a communist election. You know, you ask it specifically 279 00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:33,710 S2: and intentionally. People will often answer specifically and intentionally. And 280 00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:35,350 S2: so it's beautiful how that works out. 281 00:16:35,710 --> 00:16:39,440 S1: But it's not just the question. And this is kind 282 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,800 S1: of implicit in your book. It's not just asking a 283 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,920 S1: good question or a great question. You know, so that 284 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,280 S1: you get somebody who says, boy, that's a good question. 285 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,200 S1: And I've had that happen, you know, here on the program. 286 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,520 S1: I'll ask a question and I'll say, what? That's a 287 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,760 S1: good question. You even did it here. It's like, yeah, 288 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,960 S1: I feel good about myself. It's not just the question though. 289 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,680 S1: It's you have to go the next step. And that 290 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:07,200 S1: is you need to listen and be engaged with their answer. 291 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:11,280 S1: You have to be focused in not thinking about what 292 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,119 S1: next great question you're going to ask, but really listening 293 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,520 S1: to what they have to say, because the point of 294 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,680 S1: this whole thing is not to ask a great question. 295 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,440 S1: The point of it is to make that connection. And 296 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,960 S1: how do you make a connection if you're not really listening? 297 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,199 S2: Correct. Yes. I'm so glad you brought this up. I mean, 298 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:33,080 S2: what's interesting is that the Chinese symbol for listening actually 299 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:37,689 S2: incorporates the symbol for ears, eyes and heart all altogether, 300 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,409 S2: which I think is fascinating. Um, and there was a 301 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:42,649 S2: researcher by the name, a sociologist by the name of 302 00:17:42,650 --> 00:17:46,090 S2: Charles Gerber. He was at Boston College in the 1970s. 303 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:49,890 S2: He created a study called the Attention Interaction Project, and 304 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:53,730 S2: through studying hundreds and hundreds of conversations, he was able 305 00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:56,409 S2: to see they broke down into one of two categories. 306 00:17:56,690 --> 00:18:00,890 S2: One category was called shift response. And this is where 307 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:05,250 S2: somebody might ask a question, and the person would shift 308 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,810 S2: the answer away from someone else and onto themselves. They 309 00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:10,810 S2: would take the spotlight and they would they would point 310 00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:14,290 S2: it on themselves. But a support response is where someone 311 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:17,370 S2: asks a question, a response is given, and then the 312 00:18:17,369 --> 00:18:20,970 S2: person who asked it stays supportive of that person. So 313 00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:24,010 S2: a shift response would might be like, um, so what'd 314 00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:26,530 S2: you do this weekend? Oh, we went to the movies. 315 00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:29,330 S2: A shift response would be, oh, we hate the movies. 316 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,570 S2: We never go to the movies. Well, I just shifted 317 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,890 S2: the focus off of the person I'm with and onto myself. 318 00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:38,460 S2: But a support response would be, oh, what did you 319 00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:40,900 S2: do this weekend? We went to the movies. Oh really? 320 00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,100 S2: What movie did you see? Oh, did you like it? Oh, 321 00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:46,340 S2: what was it like? Was it is that long or 322 00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:48,939 S2: is that short? Um, did you go by yourself or 323 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:51,900 S2: with friends? I'm keeping the support on them. And that's 324 00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:55,020 S2: one of the best, most practical ways we can listen 325 00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:59,140 S2: well is just being aware of our shift responses, which 326 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:04,260 S2: are competitive interactions and our support responses, which are cooperative interactions. 327 00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:08,180 S2: And there's one small story that I found fascinating. So 328 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:12,020 S2: Lady Randolph Churchill, which is Winston Churchill's mother, she wrote 329 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,260 S2: in her journal that she had once dined with the 330 00:19:14,260 --> 00:19:18,939 S2: British politician Benjamin Disraeli. And then later, just a few 331 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,740 S2: weeks later, she had a chance to have dinner with 332 00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:26,820 S2: Disraeli's political rival, William Gladstone. This is what she wrote 333 00:19:26,859 --> 00:19:29,260 S2: in her diary, she said. When I left the dining 334 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:32,860 S2: room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was 335 00:19:32,859 --> 00:19:35,830 S2: the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next 336 00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:39,630 S2: to Disraeli, I left feeling I was the cleverest woman 337 00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:42,950 S2: in all of England. Yes. And my sense is that Disraeli, 338 00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:46,750 S2: who was a master orator, he was also really attentive, 339 00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:51,510 S2: attentive listener, who steered the conversation away from himself and 340 00:19:51,510 --> 00:19:54,430 S2: toward whoever he was with. And it's that adage from 341 00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:57,310 S2: Teddy Roosevelt, people don't care how much you know until 342 00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:59,149 S2: they know how much you care. And one of the 343 00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:03,590 S2: ways we care is support responses. And once you hear 344 00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:07,830 S2: the difference of shift response versus support response, you can't 345 00:20:07,869 --> 00:20:11,310 S2: unhear it. It's everywhere in our culture and sadly in 346 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,590 S2: our current culture. There's a lot of shift response and 347 00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:16,150 S2: very little support response. 348 00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:18,629 S1: You know, this is one of the and I feel 349 00:20:18,630 --> 00:20:20,950 S1: shame and guilt about this every time I think about it. 350 00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:23,629 S1: And that is because I do this every day. And 351 00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:26,149 S1: there are programs that will do where there's not a guest, 352 00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:28,669 S1: but there are callers. A lot of times a caller 353 00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:31,109 S1: will call and they'll tell a story or this happened 354 00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:34,160 S1: to me in answer to a question that I've thrown out, 355 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,480 S1: and immediately it will spark something in me that had 356 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,760 S1: happened to me, you know, back in my childhood. I'm 357 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,680 S1: so excited about it. And I start talking about that, 358 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,240 S1: and then I realize, wait a minute, you just shifted 359 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,400 S1: from their story to your own story. Why did you 360 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,560 S1: why did you ask? Why did you go stay with them? 361 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,760 S1: You know, you're the one that's got the program. You 362 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,040 S1: can talk as much as you want, anytime you want. 363 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,600 S1: This is. This is their opportunity. And I, you know, 364 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,080 S1: I try not to beat myself up too much with that. 365 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,680 S1: But when you see it, you're right. You you do 366 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,040 S1: see it. And it's hard for me in the middle 367 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,879 S1: of the response, you know, when I have shifted to say, oh, 368 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,080 S1: I just I did it again. There I am again. 369 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,160 S1: And and I can respond to that and just say, okay, mercy, Lord, 370 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:20,040 S1: grace to me. I'm going to I'm going to receive 371 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,000 S1: forgiveness and move on here. Right. 372 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,640 S2: Absolutely. Sure. And and to clarify this too, we don't 373 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,280 S2: want to be too legalistic about it because it is 374 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,560 S2: important if we're going to connect with people, that there 375 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,930 S2: is a sense if we're playing pickleball, we need to 376 00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:35,250 S2: hit it back over the net to keep the keep 377 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,090 S2: the game going. And so I think if it's only 378 00:21:38,090 --> 00:21:42,930 S2: one sided it can feel a little bit robotic and transactional. 379 00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:45,170 S2: And so we do want to share with our lives. 380 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:49,090 S2: The goal isn't that we never engage in a shift response, 381 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:52,530 S2: but to make sure that it's overwhelmingly a support response. 382 00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:54,690 S2: In fact, if we ever have people in our lives 383 00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:57,330 S2: where we say, you know, they're a really good listener, 384 00:21:57,369 --> 00:22:01,490 S2: my sense is that they are incredible support response people, 385 00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:03,970 S2: number one. And they also give you what I call 386 00:22:03,970 --> 00:22:07,890 S2: a full bodied. Yes, with their body language, their eyes, 387 00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:12,409 S2: their shoulders, their head is nodding. They're smiling. They're attuning 388 00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:15,450 S2: to to you and what you're talking about. And I 389 00:22:15,530 --> 00:22:17,570 S2: think that's a wonderful thing. I do know people who 390 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:20,850 S2: are great listeners and not great question. Askers. I do 391 00:22:20,890 --> 00:22:24,210 S2: know people who are great question Askers and not great listeners. 392 00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:26,090 S2: But I think if we can be the kinds of 393 00:22:26,090 --> 00:22:30,450 S2: people who are great question askers and great listeners, it's 394 00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:34,100 S2: amazing the depth of relationship and the connection that can 395 00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,420 S2: occur with the relationships in our lives. 396 00:22:36,780 --> 00:22:39,780 S1: Is that why some people you're in their presence, you've 397 00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,740 S1: already described this, but you're in their presence and it feels, 398 00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:45,859 S1: I hear this from other people. I feel like I'm 399 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:50,340 S1: I'm the only one in the room. They're focused on me. Um, 400 00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:53,699 S1: and they're they're really interested, and I. And it feels like, 401 00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:56,940 S1: you know, they they want to know more about me, 402 00:22:56,980 --> 00:23:00,460 S1: and I'm not just a prop in their lives. 403 00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:05,420 S2: Absolutely. You can't fake curiosity. In fact, there are four 404 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:08,300 S2: essential pillars. If we're going to be people who ask 405 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:11,139 S2: great questions. The first one is it's got to be curiosity. 406 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:14,260 S2: And we can't fake it. If we're not curious, people 407 00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:17,020 S2: will be able to tell. And so if we're curious 408 00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:21,619 S2: and we just cultivate a life of curiosity, it's amazing 409 00:23:21,619 --> 00:23:24,300 S2: how much easier it is to ask questions. So that's 410 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:26,899 S2: the first one. But we also secondly, need wisdom. We 411 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:29,179 S2: need an incredible amount of wisdom to know, as you 412 00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:33,150 S2: just referenced, Chris, do we respond with a story from 413 00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:36,230 S2: our own lives or do we keep going? There are 414 00:23:36,910 --> 00:23:39,909 S2: millions of questions we could ask, but to ask a 415 00:23:39,910 --> 00:23:43,150 S2: great question is asking the right question at the right time, 416 00:23:43,150 --> 00:23:45,910 S2: to the right person, with the right motive? And that 417 00:23:45,910 --> 00:23:49,430 S2: requires some wisdom. So curiosity and wisdom. But third, we 418 00:23:49,430 --> 00:23:53,830 S2: need humility. Why? Because when I ask a question, I 419 00:23:53,869 --> 00:23:57,590 S2: am admitting I don't know. And if I if I 420 00:23:57,630 --> 00:24:00,310 S2: don't want people to know that I don't know something, 421 00:24:00,310 --> 00:24:03,830 S2: I won't ask a question. Which means the fourth, we 422 00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:08,070 S2: need courage. Because if I have a potential to maybe 423 00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:12,909 S2: look unintelligent or worse, to look stupid in front of others, 424 00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:14,990 S2: I'm not going to ask a question. So it takes 425 00:24:15,150 --> 00:24:17,750 S2: some courage to say I don't know the answer to this. 426 00:24:18,150 --> 00:24:21,070 S2: So that's why I really believe that every great question 427 00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:26,230 S2: has to have a posture from us of curiosity, wisdom, humility, 428 00:24:26,230 --> 00:24:26,990 S2: and courage. 429 00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:30,880 S1: How many times in a in a college class or 430 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,320 S1: Sunday school class, if somebody raises their hand and asks 431 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,680 S1: a question and they say this, this is probably, you know, rudimentary. 432 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,000 S1: Maybe this is a dumb question, but they ask it. 433 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,720 S1: And then afterward people go up and say, thank you 434 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,640 S1: for asking that. I was thinking the same thing, but 435 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,159 S1: they didn't have the courage to to ask the question 436 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,639 S1: that seemed like, well, you know, people are going to 437 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,560 S1: think less of me if I ask this. 438 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,360 S2: That's exactly right. In fact, that's why we preface so 439 00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,480 S2: often when we raise our hand and say, this could 440 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,960 S2: be a dumb question, but we're we're kind of protecting 441 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,400 S2: or trying to protect ourselves a little bit or send 442 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,440 S2: a signal prefacing, hey, don't, don't, don't, don't shoot at 443 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,359 S2: me here if I don't know this. Um, because it 444 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,800 S2: does take courage to raise our hand. And you're right. 445 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,960 S2: Oftentimes people say, hey, I'm really I'm really glad you 446 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,080 S2: asked that because I was thinking the same thing, and 447 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,720 S2: I'm so glad you did. I learned a ton. That's 448 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,159 S2: why courage and humility are so important. If we're going 449 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,930 S2: to ask better questions. 450 00:25:28,170 --> 00:25:31,490 S1: That's J.R. Briggs. He has written a really good book, 451 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:38,130 S1: the Art of Asking Better Questions, pursuing stronger relationships, healthier leadership, 452 00:25:38,330 --> 00:25:43,370 S1: and deeper faith. Go to Chris. Org. Click through today's information. 453 00:25:43,369 --> 00:25:48,530 S1: You'll see that right there Chris Fabry live. There are 454 00:25:48,530 --> 00:25:52,169 S1: more great questions coming up straight ahead on Moody Radio. 455 00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,650 S1: Thanks a lot for joining us here on January 1st 456 00:26:07,690 --> 00:26:10,969 S1: on Chris Fabry Live. Happy New Year to you and yours. 457 00:26:11,010 --> 00:26:14,369 S1: Our program is recorded today. Don't call us, but I 458 00:26:14,369 --> 00:26:17,210 S1: hope you're gleaning as much as I did, or even 459 00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:21,409 S1: half as much as I did from this conversation with J.R. Briggs. 460 00:26:21,410 --> 00:26:24,530 S1: We'll get right back to him. Uh, after a quick 461 00:26:24,530 --> 00:26:28,820 S1: message from yours truly about this better question may be 462 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:32,619 S1: that I can ask you, have you supported the ministries 463 00:26:32,619 --> 00:26:36,380 S1: that are feeding you that are bringing life to you, 464 00:26:36,660 --> 00:26:41,540 S1: such as this program, Chris Fabry live? Uh, another question 465 00:26:41,540 --> 00:26:46,620 S1: is how are you helping others grow in discipleship and 466 00:26:46,619 --> 00:26:49,300 S1: learning about Jesus? Well, that's what a program like this 467 00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:52,900 S1: can do. And I see it from the response of people. 468 00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:55,420 S1: And many times they'll say, I can't give right now, 469 00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:57,619 S1: I really would like to, but I can't give right now. 470 00:26:57,859 --> 00:27:01,300 S1: You could give in place of somebody else, maybe becoming 471 00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,140 S1: a back fence partner with us and give a gift 472 00:27:03,140 --> 00:27:06,260 S1: each month. Find out more about that at the website. Chris. 473 00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:10,859 S1: You can go to the home page right there. You'll 474 00:27:10,859 --> 00:27:13,740 S1: see how to receive a really nice thank you gift 475 00:27:13,740 --> 00:27:19,540 S1: here in January. Go to Chris Fabry lives and become 476 00:27:19,540 --> 00:27:22,900 S1: a supporter here of Chris Fabry live at the radio 477 00:27:22,940 --> 00:27:26,710 S1: backyard fence We're talking with J.R. Briggs about the art 478 00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:32,910 S1: of asking better questions, subtitled Pursuing Stronger Relationships, Healthier Leadership, 479 00:27:32,910 --> 00:27:37,910 S1: and Deeper Faith. We talked earlier about the questions of Jesus, 480 00:27:37,910 --> 00:27:40,110 S1: and Mark is on the line. Mark, tell me what's 481 00:27:40,150 --> 00:27:40,990 S1: on your heart. 482 00:27:42,310 --> 00:27:47,350 S3: Well, we live in a knowledge worshiping culture, and therefore 483 00:27:47,350 --> 00:27:52,270 S3: we find it difficult to hear anyone say that Jesus 484 00:27:52,270 --> 00:27:59,389 S3: was not omniscient. And that's because we think we're insulting 485 00:27:59,390 --> 00:28:02,430 S3: his deity if we say that. But I actually think 486 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:07,550 S3: that the Bible teaches that his personal omniscience was something 487 00:28:07,550 --> 00:28:11,950 S3: he laid aside in the incarnation, and he became dependent 488 00:28:11,950 --> 00:28:16,310 S3: on the father for his omniscience. And so that's why 489 00:28:16,310 --> 00:28:20,230 S3: he can acknowledge, I don't know when I'm coming back. 490 00:28:20,230 --> 00:28:23,920 S3: Only the father knows. And I think there are two 491 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,800 S3: other instances. Uh, one is when the woman with the 492 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,320 S3: 12 year issue of blood comes along and he says, 493 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,120 S3: who touched me? 494 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:33,960 S4: Who touched me? Yes. 495 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,720 S3: And I don't think I don't think he's asking that 496 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,760 S3: rhetorically to draw her out. I really think he wanted 497 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,720 S3: to know. And the other instance is the the turning 498 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,720 S3: the water into wine at the wedding of Cana. His 499 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:52,600 S3: response to his mother, Mary, indicates that he didn't know 500 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,560 S3: he was going to do that miracle. He says when 501 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,360 S3: she when she asks him to do something about it, 502 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,360 S3: he says, wait a minute, what business is that of ours? 503 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,360 S3: My time hasn't come yet. And then he ends up 504 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:11,280 S3: cooperating with her in a way that also honors his 505 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:17,120 S3: own wish to remain inconspicuous. And so I what I love. 506 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,640 S1: I love that you're going there. I love it that 507 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,250 S1: you're thinking that deeply. Because this is there's a section 508 00:29:22,250 --> 00:29:25,610 S1: of this book that talks about the, uh, engaging with 509 00:29:25,610 --> 00:29:29,570 S1: Scripture and asking these questions. And the other one that 510 00:29:29,570 --> 00:29:34,330 S1: then I would go to is Jesus as a child, 511 00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:39,570 S1: as a boy, assuming that Joseph is teaching him, you know, 512 00:29:39,610 --> 00:29:43,810 S1: he's an apprentice in his father's carpentry shop. Did Jesus 513 00:29:43,810 --> 00:29:47,330 S1: know exactly how to hammer a nail from the time 514 00:29:47,330 --> 00:29:50,170 S1: he was an infant on up? Did he say to 515 00:29:50,210 --> 00:29:52,890 S1: his dad, wait a minute, dad, how do you do? 516 00:29:52,930 --> 00:29:55,690 S1: How do you carve this right there? Show me how to. 517 00:29:55,890 --> 00:29:59,450 S1: I can't imagine that he wouldn't have gone through that learning. 518 00:29:59,650 --> 00:30:02,730 S1: You know, that learning process. So, JR, jump in here. 519 00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:03,570 S1: What do you say. 520 00:30:04,410 --> 00:30:07,530 S2: Yeah. You certainly bring up a good point here. I 521 00:30:07,570 --> 00:30:10,930 S2: do think of in Luke two I think it's Luke 522 00:30:10,930 --> 00:30:13,810 S2: 252 where it says that Jesus grew in wisdom and 523 00:30:13,810 --> 00:30:16,090 S2: in stature and in favor with God and man. So 524 00:30:16,090 --> 00:30:19,410 S2: if we grow in wisdom, there's sometimes that, uh, you know, 525 00:30:19,450 --> 00:30:22,900 S2: understanding that, uh, you know, of course, that, uh, he'd 526 00:30:22,900 --> 00:30:24,980 S2: have to learn some knowledge, you know, along the way 527 00:30:24,980 --> 00:30:28,780 S2: in that, um, others would argue that no, Jesus was 528 00:30:28,780 --> 00:30:32,140 S2: a member of the Trinity, and therefore he would know everything. Um, 529 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:35,740 S2: and your caller, uh, gave some, some good examples. I 530 00:30:35,780 --> 00:30:38,780 S2: thought you were going to go to the road to Emmaus. 531 00:30:38,820 --> 00:30:42,540 S2: I mean, what a fascinating story where Jesus asks some 532 00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:45,380 S2: really interesting questions where he seems to play. I was 533 00:30:45,380 --> 00:30:47,020 S2: going to say play dumb, but I'm going to use 534 00:30:47,020 --> 00:30:49,980 S2: the term play naive. Right? So they're walking along and 535 00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:53,020 S2: they were kept from recognizing him, recognizing him. And he 536 00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:55,180 S2: asked them, what are you discussing together as you walk 537 00:30:55,180 --> 00:30:59,260 S2: along and their faces are downcast? And they said, what? Ah, 538 00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:02,380 S2: don't you know, everybody in Jerusalem knows what's going on? 539 00:31:02,380 --> 00:31:06,220 S2: And he responds again by saying, what things? In other words, 540 00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:09,460 S2: what are you talking about? And then later, after they 541 00:31:09,460 --> 00:31:12,260 S2: explain everything he says to them in a much more 542 00:31:12,260 --> 00:31:15,300 S2: direct way, how foolish you are, and how slow to 543 00:31:15,340 --> 00:31:17,860 S2: believe all that the prophets have spoken. Did not the 544 00:31:17,860 --> 00:31:20,670 S2: Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory. 545 00:31:20,870 --> 00:31:23,830 S2: So then he asks a question. Uh, where? He's he's. 546 00:31:23,830 --> 00:31:27,709 S2: It's rhetorical. Right? Did not the Messiah have to suffer? 547 00:31:28,030 --> 00:31:30,070 S2: Of course the Messiah had to suffer is what he's 548 00:31:30,070 --> 00:31:32,830 S2: trying to say. And so I just that's another one 549 00:31:32,830 --> 00:31:35,990 S2: of those head scratchers where you say, hmm, wow. Even 550 00:31:35,990 --> 00:31:38,470 S2: the Son of God. It seems to be that he's 551 00:31:38,470 --> 00:31:41,710 S2: he's playing naive here. And, uh, and I think that 552 00:31:41,710 --> 00:31:45,470 S2: there's a cheekiness and mischievousness that we don't often give 553 00:31:45,470 --> 00:31:48,950 S2: Jesus some credit for. So I actually am wondering if 554 00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:51,430 S2: Jesus actually had a bit of a smirk or side 555 00:31:51,470 --> 00:31:56,030 S2: smile and a little wink wink, nod nod in that conversation. Uh, 556 00:31:56,030 --> 00:31:59,550 S2: and I wonder if he actually enjoyed being unrecognized in 557 00:31:59,590 --> 00:32:03,150 S2: that portion of the Walk to Emmaus, so we're not 558 00:32:03,150 --> 00:32:05,230 S2: exactly sure. And again, your caller brings up a lot 559 00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:08,710 S2: of good points here. Um, but but I think that 560 00:32:08,750 --> 00:32:12,950 S2: that Jesus was really asking questions for emphasis and for 561 00:32:12,950 --> 00:32:16,790 S2: engagement with people. And, um, you know, for example, he 562 00:32:16,910 --> 00:32:20,240 S2: when he asks in the temple, um, you know, does 563 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,520 S2: anyone have a coin? You know, and he says, and 564 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,800 S2: whose image is on this coin? Well, he knows. Everybody 565 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,560 S2: else knows, but he's trying to make a point. It's Caesar's. 566 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,520 S2: And then he says, of course, you know what is 567 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,600 S2: give to Caesar's? What? Caesar? What is Caesar's? Give to 568 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,560 S2: God what is God's? So he knows. But he's often 569 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,120 S2: giving some emphasis along the way. So there are so 570 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,520 S2: many of these interplays that Jesus is using along the way, 571 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:50,360 S2: even the Apostle Paul. Um, you see Paul using this 572 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,680 S2: throughout the book of Romans, right? Shall we sin so 573 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,960 S2: that that grace may abound more and more? Of course not. 574 00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:01,240 S2: And so, like a good preacher, but also like a good, uh, 575 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:06,080 S2: legal analyst, he's offering a question. And then the counterpoint here. 576 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,840 S2: He's asking the question and giving evidence of what he's 577 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,320 S2: talking about. So I think we we see this throughout 578 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,320 S2: the scriptures of questions being used again, not just for 579 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:19,810 S2: more information but for other tools of connection, engagement, participation 580 00:33:19,810 --> 00:33:20,810 S2: in the discussion. 581 00:33:21,290 --> 00:33:23,490 S1: I've been doing this a long time, but I can't. 582 00:33:23,530 --> 00:33:26,050 S1: I can count on one hand the amount of people 583 00:33:26,050 --> 00:33:28,730 S1: who've ever made reference to a monty Python sketch, and 584 00:33:28,730 --> 00:33:33,410 S1: you just did it wink wink nod nod, say no more. Uh, Mark, 585 00:33:33,410 --> 00:33:37,010 S1: thank you for your question. Uh, there is a in 586 00:33:37,010 --> 00:33:39,890 S1: on page 123. I'm going to page 123. In the 587 00:33:39,890 --> 00:33:42,930 S1: Art of Asking Better Questions, you are. You were at 588 00:33:42,930 --> 00:33:45,850 S1: a pastor's conference in San Diego. There was a breakout 589 00:33:45,850 --> 00:33:51,090 S1: session with other pastors, and the presenter asked the question 590 00:33:51,090 --> 00:33:54,490 S1: that you said broke you open. Can you talk about that? 591 00:33:55,330 --> 00:33:58,570 S2: Yeah, there was someone there, a room full of people, 592 00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:01,250 S2: and we were just instructed to close our eyes. And 593 00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:05,850 S2: the question was asked, when you think about Jesus looking 594 00:34:05,850 --> 00:34:07,970 S2: at you, when you think about God looking at you, 595 00:34:08,010 --> 00:34:11,570 S2: what is the look on his face? And, uh, and 596 00:34:11,570 --> 00:34:16,299 S2: that was just a fascinating, fascinating Exercise. And I think 597 00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:18,580 S2: if we're honest, a lot of us think that that 598 00:34:18,580 --> 00:34:24,540 S2: look on on his face is one of scorn, disappointment, um, sadness, 599 00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:31,380 S2: maybe distance. But it was this smile of. And I 600 00:34:31,380 --> 00:34:34,540 S2: was reminded in that time that God only loves you. 601 00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:37,940 S2: He likes you. And I think there are times, especially 602 00:34:37,940 --> 00:34:40,780 S2: as professional Christians, paid to love Jesus, which is often 603 00:34:40,780 --> 00:34:45,100 S2: what pastors, uh, are seen as to realize that, you know, 604 00:34:45,140 --> 00:34:48,780 S2: the gospel, the good news is actually available to us too. 605 00:34:49,060 --> 00:34:52,420 S2: We aren't just dispensers of it or communicators or proclaimers 606 00:34:52,420 --> 00:34:55,299 S2: of it. It actually relates to us too. And that 607 00:34:55,300 --> 00:34:59,620 S2: Jesus doesn't love us because he has to. Theologically. He 608 00:34:59,620 --> 00:35:03,860 S2: loves us because he wants to relationally. And that idea 609 00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:06,460 S2: of Jesus not only loving me, but liking me was 610 00:35:06,460 --> 00:35:09,140 S2: a really freeing thing for me in that point in 611 00:35:09,140 --> 00:35:10,940 S2: my life and ministry. Yeah. 612 00:35:11,219 --> 00:35:14,060 S1: I feel the same way because I. I've often put 613 00:35:14,060 --> 00:35:17,020 S1: it this way, that many people see God looking over 614 00:35:17,020 --> 00:35:21,660 S1: the portals of heaven and shaking with a furrowed brow, 615 00:35:21,700 --> 00:35:26,180 S1: shaking his head. Oh, you know again. And always think 616 00:35:26,180 --> 00:35:28,780 S1: about Jesus and the disciples. You know, with a face palm, 617 00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:31,660 S1: you know, and it's like you guys are not getting this. 618 00:35:32,180 --> 00:35:34,340 S1: How can you not get this? You know, that's that's 619 00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:39,460 S1: the way I feel. But juxtapose that to the the 620 00:35:39,460 --> 00:35:43,339 S1: father and the prodigal son story. Who's waiting, who's looking, 621 00:35:43,340 --> 00:35:47,020 S1: who's looking down the road waiting. Just hoping. Praying, you know, 622 00:35:47,060 --> 00:35:50,540 S1: waiting for the just a little glimmer of on the 623 00:35:50,580 --> 00:35:53,500 S1: on the horizon there. And what if you saw God 624 00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:58,299 S1: looking at you smiling? What if you saw him, you know, 625 00:35:58,340 --> 00:36:02,700 S1: with this twinkle in his eye with delight and wonder 626 00:36:03,219 --> 00:36:08,180 S1: about you rather than scorn or frustration or shame on 627 00:36:08,219 --> 00:36:11,500 S1: you for having that thought and that that would transform 628 00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:12,339 S1: your life. 629 00:36:13,030 --> 00:36:15,350 S2: Yeah. And that's why it was so impactful for me 630 00:36:15,350 --> 00:36:17,510 S2: and Chris. It's interesting that you brought up the story 631 00:36:17,510 --> 00:36:21,069 S2: of the prodigal son, because several years ago, it was 632 00:36:21,070 --> 00:36:23,990 S2: it was a series of a few questions that actually 633 00:36:23,989 --> 00:36:27,750 S2: changed how I saw that story, because I had to ask, 634 00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:29,950 S2: what does prodigal mean? You know, we sort of use 635 00:36:29,950 --> 00:36:33,150 S2: it in Christian circles as, uh, you know, rebellious one. 636 00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:37,589 S2: But a prodigal is a squanderer, a radical waster. And 637 00:36:37,590 --> 00:36:41,310 S2: so then I began to say, huh? Who wasted more 638 00:36:41,910 --> 00:36:44,870 S2: in this story? Was it the younger one that went 639 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:47,150 S2: out and spent everything? Or was it the older one 640 00:36:47,150 --> 00:36:50,950 S2: who was told everything I have is already yours, and 641 00:36:50,950 --> 00:36:54,549 S2: you're not even willing to embrace it? And we don't 642 00:36:54,550 --> 00:36:59,229 S2: know exactly what the older brother does. It's the story ends, 643 00:36:59,230 --> 00:37:01,989 S2: it's a cliffhanger, and he says everything we have is yours. 644 00:37:01,989 --> 00:37:04,230 S2: We had to throw a party. It doesn't tell us 645 00:37:04,230 --> 00:37:07,950 S2: the response of the older brother. And I began to say, oh, 646 00:37:07,989 --> 00:37:11,680 S2: maybe it's the story of the prodigal sons, plural. And 647 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,960 S2: then I began to say, ooh, you know what? I 648 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,439 S2: think it is? The story of the prodigal son. I 649 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:20,120 S2: just may be thinking of the wrong son. And so 650 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,040 S2: as I began to think about that, and then, of course, 651 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,080 S2: you know, prodigal son is not not in there. You know, 652 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:29,080 S2: that's that's sort of given later, you know, that subject 653 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,120 S2: heading that, that section heading. But as Tim Keller talks 654 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,640 S2: about the prodigal God, the you know, that that we 655 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,839 S2: love so much when no one else would to be 656 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,600 S2: able to just quote unquote. And those are in quotes 657 00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,719 S2: waste his love and his grace on sons that don't 658 00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:48,480 S2: deserve it. And it was through those questions that that 659 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,839 S2: story began to open up for me in some new ways, 660 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,040 S2: and I began to see some layers of the gospel 661 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,960 S2: and the good news and the heart of Jesus, the 662 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,000 S2: heart of God our father, in ways I had never 663 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,360 S2: seen before. And it all came about through questions. 664 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,360 S1: The Art of Asking Better Questions is written by J.R. Briggs. 665 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,400 S1: It's our featured resource. I have so many other questions. 666 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,250 S1: I want to take our final break? And when we 667 00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:15,370 S1: come back, I'm going to let J.R. take over. And 668 00:38:15,370 --> 00:38:17,890 S1: he's going to ask a few questions here at the 669 00:38:17,890 --> 00:38:20,370 S1: end of the program. Let's see. Boy, this is making 670 00:38:20,370 --> 00:38:22,170 S1: me nervous, but I'm going to have him do it. 671 00:38:22,210 --> 00:38:26,690 S1: Go to the website Chris. Click through today's information. You 672 00:38:26,690 --> 00:38:39,970 S1: can see more right there Chris Fabry live. Our remaining 673 00:38:39,969 --> 00:38:42,810 S1: moments with J.R. Briggs here at the radio backyard fence 674 00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:45,690 S1: in a best of broadcast from the end of October. 675 00:38:46,370 --> 00:38:51,570 S1: And this was probably the scariest part of the conversation 676 00:38:51,570 --> 00:38:54,010 S1: that we had, maybe the scariest part of any program 677 00:38:54,010 --> 00:38:58,330 S1: that we did all year long because, uh, Krista, who 678 00:38:58,330 --> 00:39:04,129 S1: works with the publisher InterVarsity, reached out to me and said, hey, J.R. says, 679 00:39:05,090 --> 00:39:08,569 S1: if you would like, he'll turn the tables on you, 680 00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:11,739 S1: and he will ask the questions during the program. So 681 00:39:11,780 --> 00:39:14,780 S1: at any point, if you want him to take over, uh, 682 00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:17,780 S1: go ahead and let him. And I had no idea 683 00:39:17,780 --> 00:39:19,820 S1: what he was going to ask me, but I thought, 684 00:39:19,860 --> 00:39:22,180 S1: you know what? Let's take a let's take a chance, 685 00:39:22,180 --> 00:39:25,420 S1: because then he can model exactly what he is talking about, 686 00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:29,140 S1: you know, of asking better questions. So without further ado, 687 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:33,380 S1: I turn the tables. Here is J.R. Briggs. 688 00:39:33,739 --> 00:39:36,980 S2: Yeah, great. And thanks for playing along here. I'm slapping 689 00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:41,420 S2: down the reverse Uno card on the table, I guess, but, uh, yeah. 690 00:39:41,460 --> 00:39:43,660 S2: No zingers. I'm just curious if getting to know you 691 00:39:43,660 --> 00:39:45,620 S2: a little bit more, Chris, and for your listeners to 692 00:39:45,660 --> 00:39:47,980 S2: get to know you. So I'm curious, what is a 693 00:39:47,980 --> 00:39:51,940 S2: question that someone asked you that's had a significant impact 694 00:39:51,940 --> 00:39:54,819 S2: or had significant implications on your life? Is there one 695 00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:55,660 S2: that comes to mind? 696 00:39:55,940 --> 00:39:59,940 S4: I just had it happen the other day. Um, when 697 00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:02,060 S4: I went to my wife and I, there was something. 698 00:40:02,060 --> 00:40:04,859 S1: About had a meeting and it was like, I want 699 00:40:04,900 --> 00:40:08,270 S1: to do this. And I said, and she just said, okay, well, 700 00:40:08,390 --> 00:40:12,270 S1: what is it that you want? And I hadn't thought 701 00:40:12,270 --> 00:40:15,070 S1: about that. You know, with the what was the outcome 702 00:40:15,070 --> 00:40:16,910 S1: of the meeting? What is it that you really want? 703 00:40:16,950 --> 00:40:20,149 S1: What are you asking for here? And it made me 704 00:40:20,150 --> 00:40:24,830 S1: stop and think, yeah, I, I, I really hadn't thought 705 00:40:24,830 --> 00:40:30,629 S1: that through. So just the question made me look deeper 706 00:40:30,630 --> 00:40:34,070 S1: and caused me to go into the meeting, uh, with 707 00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:35,589 S1: a little different idea. 708 00:40:36,230 --> 00:40:38,750 S2: Mhm. Yeah, I love that. That's great. Is there a 709 00:40:38,750 --> 00:40:42,149 S2: question that people don't ask you, Chris, but you wish 710 00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:44,670 S2: they did or you wish they asked you more often? 711 00:40:46,030 --> 00:40:55,190 S1: Um. Um. Do I owe you something? How much do 712 00:40:55,190 --> 00:41:00,029 S1: I owe you for that? Um, no, I you know, 713 00:41:00,390 --> 00:41:01,989 S1: what it makes me think of is when I get 714 00:41:01,989 --> 00:41:04,230 S1: my hair cut or when I go to the bank, 715 00:41:04,750 --> 00:41:08,040 S1: and I'll have these obligatory questions. So how's your day going? 716 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:12,040 S1: Or what do you have this weekend that's really important 717 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,960 S1: to you or what's what's different? This weekend? There will 718 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,160 S1: be these kind of innocuous questions, and the reason why 719 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:22,280 S1: they fall flat to me is because I know that 720 00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,919 S1: the person there is only asking, or I feel like 721 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:31,560 S1: the person is only asking them obligatorily, uh, out of obligation. 722 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,040 S1: You know, I got I got to make the conversation 723 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,800 S1: go here. It's like, no, you don't need to do that. 724 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,239 S1: I'm fine. Just, you know, doing this transaction or getting 725 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:42,640 S1: my hair cut. I don't have to have you ask 726 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:47,160 S1: me a question. Um, so that really doesn't answer your question. 727 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:47,960 S1: I'll have to think. 728 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:48,120 S2: About. 729 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:48,399 S1: That, but. 730 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,400 S2: That's a good one. What are the questions? What are 731 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,920 S2: the questions people ask you that you wish they didn't? 732 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,919 S2: I mean, that's another one that we we want it said. 733 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,080 S2: And you just answered that and that I've actually not 734 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,439 S2: considered that. And that's a question I'm going to start 735 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,160 S2: thinking through some more, Chris. So you've even pushed me 736 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,290 S2: a little bit. Which is. Which is fantastic. 737 00:42:06,410 --> 00:42:08,410 S1: Look at what I did. Can I tell you one, 738 00:42:08,410 --> 00:42:11,810 S1: one question I asked of my father and he worked 739 00:42:11,810 --> 00:42:14,170 S1: at a we lived on a farm. I grew up 740 00:42:14,170 --> 00:42:17,489 S1: on a farm. And I always thought, you know, if 741 00:42:17,530 --> 00:42:20,610 S1: my dad could do this full time, he would raise 742 00:42:20,610 --> 00:42:23,609 S1: cattle and corn and beans and all that. That's what 743 00:42:23,610 --> 00:42:25,690 S1: he would want to do. But he worked at a 744 00:42:25,690 --> 00:42:28,810 S1: chemical plant for 30 years, and he worked shift work, 745 00:42:29,010 --> 00:42:32,730 S1: meaning days, evenings and then midnights, get a week off 746 00:42:32,730 --> 00:42:36,250 S1: and then do the same thing days, evenings and and 747 00:42:36,250 --> 00:42:41,730 S1: midnights for 30 years. And one day I said something 748 00:42:41,730 --> 00:42:45,170 S1: like that. That must be really, you know, terrible to 749 00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:47,730 S1: have to work at a plant for as long as 750 00:42:47,730 --> 00:42:52,170 S1: you've worked. And, uh, when you would want to, to 751 00:42:52,210 --> 00:42:55,130 S1: be here, you know, doing the farm. How did you 752 00:42:55,130 --> 00:42:59,210 S1: feel about that? And he said, I loved it. He said, 753 00:42:59,210 --> 00:43:03,290 S1: I loved the challenge of every, every shift that I work, 754 00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:07,620 S1: keeping people safe, keeping the work going. It was as if. 755 00:43:07,620 --> 00:43:09,140 S1: And when he talked about it, he just kind of 756 00:43:09,180 --> 00:43:12,339 S1: came alive. It was as if the work provided a 757 00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:16,380 S1: mission for him, not just a paycheck, solving a series 758 00:43:16,380 --> 00:43:20,540 S1: of problems every day that made him important. It gave 759 00:43:20,540 --> 00:43:23,340 S1: him a purpose. And if I hadn't asked the question, 760 00:43:23,380 --> 00:43:25,100 S1: I'd never have known that. 761 00:43:26,340 --> 00:43:29,660 S2: That's a that's a fantastic example of the power of questions, 762 00:43:29,660 --> 00:43:32,660 S2: where we don't assume that we just go ahead and ask, 763 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:35,219 S2: and what did you do? You got to know and 764 00:43:35,219 --> 00:43:37,180 S2: connect with your father and learn a side of him 765 00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:39,780 S2: you didn't know before, which again, is the whole point 766 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:42,780 S2: and purpose. So, um, yeah. How would you assess your 767 00:43:42,780 --> 00:43:46,339 S2: own question asking? I would say you're good. I mean, 768 00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:48,020 S2: I don't think you'd be in the spot that you're 769 00:43:48,020 --> 00:43:50,780 S2: in right now if you didn't have some skills in that. 770 00:43:50,780 --> 00:43:53,100 S2: But how would you assess your own? And then maybe 771 00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:55,430 S2: a part B if you were to grow by 10 772 00:43:55,430 --> 00:44:00,300 S2: or 15% in your question asking ability, what would you do? 773 00:44:01,260 --> 00:44:05,469 S1: Um, my analysis is I can. If you turn the 774 00:44:05,469 --> 00:44:10,029 S1: microphone on, I'm good. When you turn the microphone on, 775 00:44:10,469 --> 00:44:14,790 S1: I'm not as good. Because here I'm up front here, 776 00:44:15,390 --> 00:44:18,470 S1: you know, it makes a difference how other people see me. 777 00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:22,110 S1: When you turn the microphone off. Then I'm just with 778 00:44:22,110 --> 00:44:25,989 S1: people that nobody else sees this, these conversations. So. And 779 00:44:25,989 --> 00:44:27,549 S1: I said to one of my kids the other day, 780 00:44:27,590 --> 00:44:30,310 S1: I said, I feel like I'm, I'm a really I've 781 00:44:30,310 --> 00:44:33,750 S1: not been the father I want to be to know 782 00:44:33,790 --> 00:44:36,469 S1: my kids as well as I want to, and to 783 00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,950 S1: my wife and other family members, too. I'm not there. 784 00:44:40,390 --> 00:44:43,910 S1: And I think this thing that you have written and 785 00:44:43,910 --> 00:44:46,830 S1: that we've talked about today is the is the finger 786 00:44:46,830 --> 00:44:50,270 S1: on the nerve of my life. And that is have 787 00:44:50,270 --> 00:44:54,630 S1: the courage to ask the questions and dive deeper into 788 00:44:55,070 --> 00:44:59,190 S1: what they're doing, how they're feeling, and it will draw 789 00:44:59,190 --> 00:45:03,080 S1: you together. It may make you a little more uncomfortable 790 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,879 S1: in some ways, but it will draw you closer to 791 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,720 S1: their heart and you'll see yourself more. That's what you've 792 00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:11,719 S1: done in this book for me. J.R.. 793 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,480 S2: Well, thanks so much. And it's been a real joy 794 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,880 S2: to to be on the program. I really appreciate you 795 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,319 S2: even trusting me to ask you some questions here at 796 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:20,800 S2: the end. 797 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,920 S1: We should have started earlier. You should do the whole program. 798 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,399 S1: I think we can do the whole program just on 799 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,600 S1: the questions of God and the questions of Jesus, you know, 800 00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,680 S1: and that's just a small part of the book. And 801 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:33,920 S1: there's one story at the end where there was a 802 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,160 S1: guy at the at the back, folks, you got to 803 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,240 S1: get the book and read this. There was a fellow 804 00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,400 S1: at the when he was doing a seminar. J.R. was 805 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,960 S1: doing this seminar, and this fellow at the back just 806 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:48,520 S1: wasn't interested. Wasn't. And J.R. challenged him. And months later, 807 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,440 S1: this fellow came back and said, what you have done 808 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:55,000 S1: has changed my life. It might do that for you. 809 00:45:55,440 --> 00:46:00,010 S1: The Art of Asking Better Questions by J.R. Briggs, Jr. 810 00:46:00,050 --> 00:46:03,250 S1: Keep doing what you're doing. Keep asking questions and listening 811 00:46:03,250 --> 00:46:05,410 S1: well and come back real soon, okay? 812 00:46:06,250 --> 00:46:08,609 S2: Thanks so much, Chris. Really appreciate the opportunity. 813 00:46:09,489 --> 00:46:12,610 S1: Well, I survived that segment with J.R. asking the questions, 814 00:46:12,610 --> 00:46:15,450 S1: and I'm so glad. And thank you for listening today. 815 00:46:15,450 --> 00:46:18,090 S1: If you go to the website and click through today's 816 00:46:18,090 --> 00:46:23,450 S1: information at Chris Lives, you will see more about J.R. 817 00:46:23,489 --> 00:46:27,730 S1: Briggs and the book the Art of Asking Better Questions, 818 00:46:27,730 --> 00:46:32,850 S1: Pursuing Stronger relationships, Healthier leadership, and deeper Faith. Put this 819 00:46:32,890 --> 00:46:36,290 S1: into practice in your own life, in your own relationships, 820 00:46:36,290 --> 00:46:40,690 S1: in your family and your workplace, in your church and 821 00:46:40,690 --> 00:46:46,930 S1: see what happens. Again, go to Chris. Chris Fabry Live 822 00:46:46,930 --> 00:46:49,730 S1: is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody 823 00:46:49,730 --> 00:46:51,930 S1: Bible Institute. Happy new year.