S1: Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe concludes a powerful message
S1: on healing from father wounds and finding your true identity
S1: in God's eyes.
S2: A bold step is I know I've done it or
S2: I haven't done it, and it was difficult and hard.
S2: So I take a step that's difficult for me to take.
S2: But the step of obedience is in line with God,
S2: and it sets in course in motion, something that could
S2: be transformative. That's what a bold step is.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is the
S1: president of Moody Bible Institute and senior pastor of New
S1: Life Community Church in Chicago. And I'm Wayne Shepherd. Today
S1: we're wrapping up our three part message called The Daughter Factor,
S1: where we've been exploring how our relationship with our earthly
S1: father shapes how we see our Heavenly Father. Even though
S1: Mark first shared this at a women's retreat, these truths
S1: really apply to anyone who struggled with father wounds or rejection.
S1: And today, we'll discover how to break free from those
S1: harmful patterns and start seeing ourselves the way God sees us.
S1: If you missed either of the previous programs, feel free
S1: to catch up anytime at Bold steps.org. Now let's join
S1: Mark for the conclusion of The Daughter Factor.
S2: Listen, some of you have gone to abusive relationships because
S2: you learn from your father that it was okay. You
S2: saw it in your household with your mother, and you
S2: grew up expecting. That's how a woman should be treated.
S2: And you didn't understand. No, no, that's not how a
S2: woman should be treated. If you grew up in a
S2: household where you were taught respect and and hey, you
S2: don't talk to a woman that way. You don't. You
S2: raise your hand when you were taught that you have
S2: dignity and value. Then you know what? When you see toxicity,
S2: when you see abuse, when you see someone treat, you
S2: walk away from it. Because I'm not going to I'm
S2: not going to allow you to treat me that way
S2: because you've been taught there's a standard. That's not how
S2: you treat a woman. And so you're able to walk
S2: away from broken, toxic, toxic, abusive relationships because you have
S2: been taught a standard of what that's like. The greatest
S2: protection for daughters to not be in abusive relationships and
S2: to be able to stand up for it, is a
S2: loving father that speaks dignity, value and worth into the
S2: heart of their daughters. I used to tell my daughter
S2: when I dropped her off in high school. She. Pretty girl,
S2: pretty cheerleader, pretty girl. Everybody was talking. Hey, your daughter
S2: is so cute. She's so pretty. And I. And she was,
S2: and she is. But I was always tell her I said,
S2: you know. Hey, Marissa, look at me. She says, I know,
S2: I know, I'm more than a pretty face. Because I
S2: would tell her that you're more than a pretty face.
S2: You got intelligent, you got a personality, you got brains.
S2: You got there's much more than just a pretty face.
S2: You're much more than that. And I believe that when
S2: we do not fully grasp. When we have a father vacuum,
S2: there's a tendency to feel inadequate, inability to express love
S2: to others freely and unexplained feelings. Here you go of rejection.
S2: Why do I feel when I walk into a room
S2: like the first thing that comes to my mind? Do
S2: people like me? Do I fit in? Am I dressed right?
S2: Do I talk right? Are people going to look? Some
S2: of you coming to this conference that's been your biggest issue.
S2: Do I fit in? When you're secure in who you are,
S2: you're not asking those questions as much. You're able to say,
S2: this is who I am and I know who I
S2: am and I love who I am. This is the
S2: way God made me. And it's not about what do
S2: people think about me. Because you've already been established in
S2: your worth and your value that's been given to you
S2: by your earthly father and by your heavenly father who's
S2: spoken into your life, that you are a daughter of
S2: the Most High God. Ephesians chapter three. The Apostle Paul
S2: is telling to believers and he he's talking to people
S2: that are struggling with understanding who they are in God.
S2: And he says, and I pray that you, being rooted
S2: and established in love may have the power. The Greek
S2: word is dunamis, which where we get the word dynamite from.
S2: That's explosive power together with all the believers to grasp
S2: how wide, how long, how high, how deep is the
S2: love of Christ. And to know this love that surpasses knowledge,
S2: that you may be filled to the fullness of the
S2: measure of God. You know what he's saying? He's saying,
S2: I want you to experience not just head knowledge about
S2: the love of God. I want you to. I want
S2: it to so saturate you that you can't explain it,
S2: but you know you're walking in it. The height, the depth,
S2: the love of God that you can't explain. But you
S2: know it's yours. There's something transformative about the love of God.
S2: It it speaks to your identity. It shapes your heart.
S2: It allows you to worship. It means that a word of.
S2: It means that someone's, uh, insensitive word doesn't send you
S2: in a spiral for a week. I'm talking to someone.
S2: All it takes is one insensitive conversation. And you have
S2: to go to two therapy groups. Because one insensitive conversation
S2: just knocks you over so badly because you don't know
S2: who you are. Yet in God, you haven't perceived how
S2: loved you are, how solid you are, how forgiving you are,
S2: what it means to be a daughter of the Most
S2: High God, because when you walk in that someone can
S2: give you a insensitive comment and you say, I know
S2: who I am, I'm loved, I'm cherished, I'm valued, I
S2: have dignity, worth. I have the name of Christ sealed
S2: upon me. I have a destiny and a future, and
S2: it's determined by my God, not by what someone else
S2: says to me. In the Apostle Paul is praying that
S2: they would understand the power of the love of God
S2: that's been lavished upon them. And he says, you know.
S2: And he explains that to them. And why can't women
S2: experience the love of the father? Well, oftentimes it's the
S2: same reason that men can't experience the love of the
S2: father because we haven't fully understood the father and that
S2: we are his children. And so there's several things that
S2: affect us. One, if fill in the blank here Your
S2: experiences that have allowed lies to be planted. Experiences that
S2: have allowed lies to be planted. I'll never forget early
S2: in my pastorate, I started pastoring when I was 21
S2: years old 21. I had to go back and apologize
S2: to everybody that I pastored when I was 21. Say sorry.
S2: I didn't know what I was doing. Sorry. Forgive me.
S2: I was just a kid. But I'll never forget early
S2: on talking to a girl that was inconsolable because her
S2: boyfriend had broken up with her. Inconsolable. And I started
S2: talking to her about her boyfriend. And I found out
S2: he was abusive. Physically, verbally. He was no good. And
S2: I said, hey, I'm so glad you broke up. And
S2: she says, you should be jumping for joy right now. Seriously,
S2: I'm so glad you broke up. And this is what
S2: she taught. I never forgot she was 19 or 20
S2: years old and she said, I'm going to be alone
S2: all my life. I said, you're 19. Can I tell
S2: you something? There's something deeper there. And as I started
S2: talking to her, I realized there was a deeper. It
S2: was an abandonment. I don't I don't I'm not worthy
S2: to be loved. There's something wrong with me. If someone
S2: really got to know me, they would reject me. That's
S2: not something you make up in your mind. That's something
S2: that traumatic abandonment creates in your persona. And that's what
S2: she was wrestling with. The lies of abandonment of her
S2: father that made her feel like there's something wrong with
S2: me that my father would leave me. And every man
S2: that gets to know me will also walk away when
S2: they get to know me. That was a lie from
S2: the pit of hell. And that kind of lie causes
S2: you out of desperation to get into relationships that are toxic, abusive,
S2: that are unhealthy and cause us to tolerate, embrace, and
S2: live with them as though they were normal. Experiences that
S2: have allowed lies to be planted. Rejection, abuse or neglect
S2: that has opened up the doors to lies. Number three
S2: spiritual oppression that is created strongholds of lies. You know,
S2: the Bible tells us that the language of God is truth.
S2: The language of the enemy is lies. He's the accuser
S2: of the brethren. And I believe that there are strongholds,
S2: sometimes spiritual strongholds, that are created within our being because
S2: of these lies. And number four, a father or husband,
S2: male authority figure that has already betrayed, disappointed, thereby creating
S2: the lie of distrust. You know, Romans chapter eight says this.
S2: It says, because those who are led by the Spirit
S2: of God are sons and daughters of God. For you
S2: did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave
S2: to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship, and
S2: by him you cry, ABBA, father. The spirit of a
S2: daughter is the spirit of slavery, is shame based, fear driven,
S2: and fear empowered. That's how that's how slaves operate. The
S2: spirit of a daughter is grace based, love driven, Holy
S2: Spirit and power.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Marc Job. We'll continue
S1: today's message in a moment. But first, Marc, I want
S1: to talk about something that's become a growing concern within
S1: Christian leadership circles. Our world is going through a whirlwind,
S1: pretty dramatic developments and changes, not just here in America
S1: but around the globe. And we need to remind ourselves,
S1: as Christians, we have a much higher calling than any
S1: political movement, don't we.
S2: Wayne? Turn on the news. And there is drama all
S2: over the place.
S3: From rumors of wars to economic crisis to actualization to
S3: actual wars that are happening to bombings, and it is
S3: easy to get distracted by all this, worried by it,
S3: anxious by it, sort of sucked into it. But here's
S3: what I want to say. This is a great time
S3: for the good news of Jesus Christ and the hope
S3: of the gospel. Amen. There are a lot of people
S3: coming to Christ throughout the world, and you may not
S3: hear about it because there's other news That is prominent
S3: and is taking people's attention. But there is an undercurrent
S3: of a harvest evangelism, and that's what we're all about
S3: right now, is a moment where people are shaken, where
S3: there's concern. But there are so many people that are
S3: turning to the heavens, and we at Bold Steps have
S3: determined we will not miss that moment. And so we
S3: are asking you to partner with us, help us out,
S3: because right now is a great time to be calling
S3: people to Jesus.
S1: We urge you to give online at Bold Steps. Org
S1: or you can call us. The number is 800. D.L.
S1: Moody and that works out to be (800) 356-6639. And when
S1: you do give, we'll be sure to send you a
S1: special gift which will tell you more about later in
S1: the program today. Well, thank you for that, Mark. But
S1: let's get back to our message now here on bold steps,
S1: the daughter factor.
S2: You know, I have on stage a mirror. For some
S2: of you. It's your enemy. For others, it's your obsession.
S2: But here's what I want to tell you. When. When
S2: you don't walk in the love of the father. On
S2: your worst days. On your bad days. When you look
S2: at the mirror. You see rejected. Fill in the words. Unworthy, fat, ugly, old.
S2: Too young. When you look at the mirror, you see
S2: something that you don't like. Labels all over you. But
S2: I want you to know that. when you look through
S2: the father's eyes and he sees it, he sees you,
S2: he says. He says, daughter forgiven dignity. Worth called, filled
S2: with me. Look like me, destined with me, washed, cleansed. Loved. Obsessively.
S2: Chased by the father. No one could take away the value.
S2: You see, that's what the father sees. And he speaks
S2: it over you. And it's going to take a while
S2: for you, some of you to see yourself like the
S2: father sees you in Jesus. But my prayer is that
S2: the father vacuum or the mother vacuum that you experience
S2: that's created so many lies will start to be changed
S2: by the renewing of your mind. I want you to
S2: ask yourself this question. What is the cycle that I
S2: need to break for me? If you're a parent or
S2: maybe going to be a parent for my kids, what
S2: is the unhealthy way of thinking behavior cycle pattern that
S2: I've accepted as normal? But God is telling me, like
S2: Megan said, you're in the freefall and say, no, stop.
S2: It's not normal. The lady that was bent over for
S2: many years, 18 years, she learned to accept in the Bible.
S2: She learned to accept living like that until she encountered Jesus.
S2: And Jesus said, that's not the way I created you.
S2: Stand up. About three months ago, uh, who's here from
S2: Little Village? Anybody here from little village? Little village. Okay.
S2: A few of you. It's mainly Spanish, and so not
S2: a lot, but But but several months ago, Little Village
S2: was having a gathering and a joint gathering, and they went.
S2: They couldn't fit everybody in one place. So they rented
S2: a nightclub called Los Lobos. Somebody's like, oh, pastor, I
S2: know that place. It's like a pretty seedy nightclub, actually.
S2: Like a nightclub. Nightclub? Pastor Paco actually asked me to
S2: come and speak there. So I preached in Spanish and
S2: he translated in English. And I felt like at the end,
S2: I needed to call couples forward. That had gotten used
S2: to living in a way that wasn't with God, that
S2: I said, you know, if you're living together and you're
S2: not married and you've just gotten used to it, or
S2: if you're sleeping every weekend with your boyfriend or girlfriend
S2: and gotten used to it, God's calling you to live
S2: a different way. He's teaching you a different way and saying,
S2: you know, get that right. And so I so I said,
S2: I'm going to call you forward if if you know
S2: that it's wrong and you want to change it, take
S2: a bold step. And so there were, I think, 11
S2: couples that came forward. And the crazy thing is they
S2: they looked at the crowd like this instead of going
S2: like this, they all looked. And I said, some of
S2: you have been living this way for such a long time.
S2: You've just gotten used to it. It's your way of life.
S2: And one lady was going like this. I said, how
S2: long are you living with your boyfriend? Are you standing
S2: next to her? She said mm. I said, how long?
S2: She said 17 years. And I said, are you ready
S2: to take a bold step? They said, yes, we're starting
S2: pre-marital counseling classes next week. Guess what we're doing. Hold on.
S2: I love this. Guess what we're doing? Pastor Paco invited
S2: me to come, and we're doing a wedding for seven
S2: of those couples. That's happening tomorrow. Seven of those couples
S2: are getting married tomorrow. You know why? Because they. They
S2: got used to a certain way of living, and they
S2: had to be awakened by an encounter with Jesus to say,
S2: you know, we're used to this way, but it's not
S2: God's way. Some of you came to this encounter retreat,
S2: and you're used to living the way you're living. You're
S2: used to it. And God is saying, that's not how
S2: I created you. That's not who you are. Wake up
S2: and start living a different way. You got to take
S2: a step, a bold step, to live as women of
S2: the Most High God. And so I want you to
S2: identify what is the cycle that you're breaking. But listen,
S2: it's not going to break by itself. You have to
S2: determine what is the bold step of obedience that you're
S2: going to take. What's the bold step God's asking you
S2: to take? Listen, if it were easy, you would have
S2: done it a long time ago. I don't know what
S2: your bold step is. It may be finally writing a
S2: letter to your dad. You say, well, pastor, he passed away.
S2: It doesn't matter. And saying I release you. Hey, can
S2: we get real here? It may be going back to
S2: your boyfriend that you're living with and saying. You know what?
S2: I discovered at this retreat? I'm a woman of God.
S2: My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. And
S2: so I'm not going to live anymore like this. I'm
S2: going to it's either a ring on my finger or
S2: I'm out of here. Even though it's difficult and you
S2: just make a decision. Hey, it may be joining a
S2: Celebrate Recovery group because you know what? You've tried to so,
S2: so deaden the pain of this for so long that
S2: now you can't get rid of the cannabis that you
S2: do every other day. And you, when you go to church,
S2: you try to. I love my wife. We keep driving
S2: through places and she says, it smells like skunk. I'm like.
S2: There's not that many skunks around. Honey, this is like,
S2: straight up. She's always like, it smells like skunk. I
S2: said no, no, no, not skunk. Sorry. So some of you,
S2: when you come to church, you smell like skunk, you know?
S2: But hey, hey, it's time to stop smelling like skunk
S2: and just say, you know what? I'm going to Jesus
S2: with this. I'm not going to go to addictions. I'm
S2: not going to overeat. I'm not going to over drink.
S2: I'm not. Listen, some of you, for the first time
S2: in your life, need to say I am complete as
S2: a single woman in Jesus. I don't have to have
S2: a man to make me feel valuable. If God leads
S2: me to a relationship, it'll be a healthy one, but
S2: not driven out of panic or the sense that I'm
S2: not complete and full as a woman because God loves me.
S2: And standing in that is going to be a new
S2: step for you. Listen, some of you need to get baptized.
S2: You felt so unworthy. Even you gave your life to Christ,
S2: but you've never gotten baptized because you feel like I'm unworthy.
S2: Some of you need to give your life to Jesus.
S2: Some of you need to say, I'm going to be
S2: used of God. I don't know what your bold step is,
S2: but let me tell you what a bold step is not.
S2: I'm going to become a better person. That's a wish,
S2: not a bold step. I'm going to get up. Think
S2: better thoughts about the universe. That's a wish, not a
S2: bold step. A bold step is. I know I've done
S2: it or I haven't done it. And it was difficult
S2: and hard. So I take a step that's difficult for
S2: me to take. But this step of obedience is in
S2: line with God, and it sets in course, in motion,
S2: something that could be transformative. That's what a bold step is.
S2: So you're going to break up into your small groups,
S2: and you're going to determine what is the cycle that
S2: I'm breaking, what is the bold step that I'm taking,
S2: and what is the legacy that I'm starting to make?
S2: How am I going to change my destiny instead of living?
S2: Living how I've lived, thinking it's normal. Awakening to a
S2: new God, normal in my life.
S1: That's smart job on bold steps, a message titled The
S1: Daughter Factor and Mark. I know just as that audience.
S1: Many listeners today have been touched by these truths about
S1: seeing themselves through God's eyes rather than through that lens
S1: of past hurts.
S3: And I have to tell you, at the end of
S3: that message, there were so many women that took bold
S3: steps and responded, and just an amazing time. And maybe
S3: God is speaking to your life as well through this.
S3: I want you to pause and ask yourself, is there
S3: a bold step that you need to take? Is there
S3: a cycle that you've been repeating over and over that
S3: you need to break? And what is the legacy that
S3: God is asking you to make or create? This will
S3: be powerful. And by the way, if you're struggling to
S3: just try to live in the identity that God has
S3: called you to. We have just put out a devotional
S3: booklet based off of some of the messages that I've done,
S3: called More Than a Label Discovering Who You Are in Christ.
S3: It's a 15 day devotional that helps you start to
S3: tackle identity issues in a God given way.
S1: Get your own copy of this new resource. It is
S1: brand new. More than a label discovering who you are
S1: in Christ. You can go through this no matter your
S1: age and whether you're a teen, a parent, or a grandparent.
S1: This study will help you embrace your true identity in
S1: Christ and understand the purpose God has given you for
S1: your life. So don't miss out on this devotional. More
S1: than a Label discovering who you are in Christ. It's
S1: available at Bold Steps now. Mark, before we go today,
S1: I want to take a look at where we're going tomorrow.
S1: You're beginning a timely new message called attitudes That Divide Us.
S3: And I don't think that needs a lot of explanation,
S3: but we live in a time that we are super
S3: divided politically, economically, racially. And, um, this will address that
S3: issue as believers in Jesus Christ, even though people around
S3: us in the body of Christ may have some differing opinions.
S3: We need to make sure that the Kingdom of God
S3: is what unites us, and deal with the attitudes that
S3: divide us.
S1: Well, that is coming up on tomorrow's bold steps. But
S1: in case you can't join us, then let me remind
S1: you you can always revisit these messages online at Bold steps.org,
S1: or by listening to the Bold Steps app or even
S1: our Bold Steps podcast on our website, you'll also find
S1: a powerful resource that perfectly complements today's message about father
S1: daughter relationships and identity. Our current Bold Step gift addresses
S1: the critical foundation years for young girls. It's a book
S1: called Lies Girls Believe by Dana Gresh, and it tackles
S1: the harmful misconceptions that can shape a girl's identity during
S1: her formative years from I need to Be Perfect, to
S1: be loved to My worth is based on what others
S1: think of me. Dana exposes 12 dangerous lies and replaces
S1: them with God's truth. This beautifully designed book speaks directly
S1: to girls ages 7 to 12, in a way that
S1: they can understand and embrace. What better way to equip
S1: young girls in your life? Develop a healthy identity based
S1: on who God says they are? Get your copy of
S1: Lies Girls Believe when you support bold steps with a
S1: gift of any amount. It's our way of partnering with
S1: you to invest in the next generation. Just go online
S1: to Bold steps.org or call us at 800. That's (800) 356-6639.
S1: You can also send your gift and request the book
S1: in the mail by writing to us at bold steps.
S1: 820 North LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 60,006 ten. I'm Wayne Shepherd,
S1: reminding you to join us again tomorrow for Mark's new
S1: message called Attitudes That Divide Us. Listen Tuesday to Bold
S1: Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps is a production of
S1: Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.