S1: Today on Bold steps, Mark Jobe concludes his powerful message
S1: about breaking free from the prison of unforgiveness.
S2: When I forgive someone, I'm not saying you deserve to
S2: be forgiven. I'm not saying you've earned your forgiveness. I'm
S2: simply saying I refuse to live with unforgiveness in my
S2: heart because it's poison to my soul. I'm forgiving you
S2: because I need to walk in cleansing of my soul
S2: before God.
S1: Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president
S1: of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New
S1: Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. We're continuing
S1: our series called Untangled Relationships, and today we reach the
S1: conclusion of Mark's three part message on the trap of unforgiveness.
S1: In the first two segments, Mark explained how unforgiveness works
S1: like a prison that we built for others, but end
S1: up living in ourselves. He showed us how unresolved anger
S1: creates footholds for the enemy in our lives, and why
S1: genuine forgiveness is the only path to freedom. If you
S1: missed either of those messages, I encourage you to visit
S1: Bold Steps org to catch up when you can. Now
S1: let's join Mark Jobe for the powerful conclusion of his
S1: message titled The Trap of Unforgiveness.
S2: In the city of Chicago, we hear about these crazy
S2: acts of violence. And one more time we'll hear on I-55,
S2: someone honked at someone. Someone gave him a dirty look.
S2: And before we know it, someone shot and killed on
S2: the expressway. And we say, wow, traffic is terrible in Chicago.
S2: Can I tell you it has nothing to do with traffic?
S2: This is not about the honk. This is not about
S2: the driving. This is about the guy that at five
S2: years old was physically abused, beaten up and abandoned by
S2: a stepfather, and they haven't processed it. And they're full
S2: of anger and they're full of issues in their life
S2: that they haven't dealt with. And when you when you
S2: tip it, it spills out. If I had an opaque
S2: glass here, you wouldn't be able to tell what's inside
S2: of it. But if someone bumps me, whatever's inside is
S2: going to spill out. If I'm full of anger, rage, brawling, unforgiveness,
S2: then it takes a honk on the expressway and it
S2: spills out. And everything that's directed towards that stepfather that
S2: abused me now becomes the rage against the person that
S2: just honked at me. And people say, I don't know
S2: why I'm like this. I love my girlfriend or I
S2: love my wife and but I explode and I just
S2: call her things. I don't know what's wrong. I know
S2: what's wrong. What's wrong is you haven't dealt with your issues.
S2: What's wrong is you haven't gone to those hard places.
S2: What's wrong is you haven't processed your hurt, you haven't forgiven,
S2: you haven't gone to those places that are causing you
S2: to be an angry person. And until you deal with it,
S2: you may deal with the emotions. And you say, well, pastor,
S2: I know what I'm going to do. I'm just going
S2: to count to ten. When I'm angry. That's good. Ten, nine, eight. Seven, six.
S2: I'm just going to go for a jog. Some of
S2: you are really good shape because you're angry so often
S2: you're going for a jog, or I'm going to just
S2: breathe deeply. And you know what? I'm happy you're doing
S2: that because I don't want people around you to get hurt.
S2: But that will not deal with the core issue. The
S2: pressure cooker will still have pressure unless the flame is
S2: turned off, unless you deal with the root of your hurt,
S2: unless you deal with that unforgiveness, unless you deal with
S2: the pain, unless you confront it and process it before
S2: God and deal with it, it will continue to surface,
S2: it will continue to boil up. So there are some
S2: people that are believers in this auditorium today. And you
S2: come to me, I know because you talk to me
S2: about it and you say, pastor, I don't know what happened.
S2: I was doing so good for three months, and then
S2: I fell, and then I did so good for five months,
S2: and then I fell again. And then I was doing
S2: really good for another four months. And then I fell again.
S2: Let me tell you what's happening. What's happening to a
S2: lot of people is that you do well until you
S2: get angry. And when you get angry, then suddenly all
S2: the old stuff, you you go immediately back to whatever
S2: made you feel good in your old life. That's what
S2: it tells us earlier in this chapter, in Ephesians chapter four,
S2: verse 26 through 27, it says, be angry and do
S2: not sin. Listen. Do not let the sun go down
S2: while you are angry. Do not give the devil a foothold.
S2: When you become angry, you give the devil an opportunity
S2: and a foothold. You're doing really well fighting pornography. But
S2: when you got angry, you wanted something to make you
S2: feel better. And so you. You opened up that old
S2: pornography page that you go to, and you fell. You
S2: called up that old girlfriend and fell sexually. You went
S2: out and over drank. You lit up one more time
S2: that cannabis just to calm your nerves down. And you
S2: were doing so well. You know why? Anger. And so
S2: what the Apostle Paul is telling us is he's telling
S2: us that we have to deal with our anger. We
S2: have to get rid of this bitterness and rage and
S2: brawling and slander. It tells us in Matthew chapter six
S2: verse 14, Jesus was teaching his disciples to pray. And
S2: at the end of the prayer he says, if you
S2: forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly father will
S2: forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your
S2: heavenly father will not forgive you your sins. And what
S2: does this mean? It simply means that when you have
S2: unforgiveness in your heart, you're living in sin and God
S2: cannot release you from what you're continuing to do. You
S2: have to choose to get rid of it so God
S2: can release you from it. So the Apostle Paul is
S2: talking to these believers about walking in victory, and he's
S2: describing to them how they can overcome. And he ends
S2: up this passage with this last exhortation. Which leads me
S2: to my third point. Unforgiveness can only be overcome with
S2: genuine forgiveness. So the Apostle Paul says in verse 32,
S2: be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other
S2: just as in Christ, God forgave you. So the Apostle
S2: Paul really gets to the root of the solution when
S2: he says, hey, you can't grieve the spirit by having
S2: unforgiveness that leads to the fruit of unforgiveness. Until you
S2: get to the point of saying, I gotta release, I
S2: gotta forgive, I gotta let go. It's interesting that he says,
S2: forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.
S2: In other words, that we have to forgive each other
S2: like God forgives us. Now, there's a lot of misunderstanding
S2: around forgiveness, what it means and what it doesn't mean.
S2: Look up at me. I think this is really important.
S2: Forgiveness does not mean excusing what was done to you,
S2: minimizing that? What was done to you? Blame shifting someone
S2: else about it? It. Forgiveness does not mean it's okay
S2: that it happened to you. That's not forgiveness. So I
S2: never want you to misunderstand what forgiveness is or what
S2: it's not. Sometimes people act like, well, I can't forgive
S2: the person because in their mind, they think forgiveness is
S2: just saying it's okay. And they say it wasn't okay.
S2: There was a lot of hurt and pain there. Forgiveness is,
S2: according to the Bible, a biblical definition of forgiveness. It's
S2: to clear the record of the wrongdoing and sin. In
S2: other words, when I forgive someone, I'm simply saying, I'm
S2: not saying you deserve to be forgiven. I'm not saying
S2: you've earned your forgiveness. I'm simply saying I refuse to
S2: live with unforgiveness in my heart because it's poison to
S2: my soul, whether you deserve it or don't deserve it.
S2: I'm forgiving you because I need to walk in cleansing
S2: of my soul before God. Do you remember when they
S2: were crucifying Jesus on the cross and the soldiers were.
S2: They were, uh, playing a game to see who got
S2: his tunic? Jesus is in the cross, and he says,
S2: forgive them, for they know not what they do. They
S2: weren't repentant. They weren't asking for forgiveness. They weren't saying, oh, Lord,
S2: we're doing such a wrong thing. Jesus was forgiving. Forgive them,
S2: for they know not what they do. Now there's a
S2: difference between God's forgiveness and our forgiveness. You need the
S2: forgiveness of God by embracing his gift through repentance, turning
S2: around and accepting his gift. The forgiveness of God relieves
S2: you from your past. You need you. And I need
S2: to forgive. Not because it excuses or takes away the
S2: sin of the other person, but because you and I
S2: need to be cleansed from the stain and grip of unforgiveness.
S2: Does that make sense? So what does it mean to forgive?
S2: God's way? Well, I think first of all, it means
S2: that you need to receive God's forgiveness in your life.
S2: It's hard to forgive if you haven't received forgiveness. Some
S2: of us have been forgiven, but we haven't fully, fully
S2: allowed that forgiveness to penetrate our hearts.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with Mark job, and we'll
S1: return to our message shortly. Mark, do you know what
S1: I've been reflecting on lately? The incredible privilege we have
S1: as believers living in this particular moment in history. I
S1: love to study history, but never before have we had
S1: such powerful tools for sharing the gospel globally. Instantly reaching
S1: people in remote villages. That happens through bold steps, doesn't it?
S1: Or in close countries, in crowded cities alike. But we
S1: have this unprecedented opportunity and it comes with a tremendous responsibility,
S1: doesn't it?
S2: You know, I heard recently that moody radio programming is
S2: heard in 190 countries is what someone said. Wow. And, um,
S2: technology has allowed us to do that. And I'm amazed
S2: when suddenly we get a email from Eastern Europe of
S2: someone saying, hey, I haven't found a church yet, but
S2: I listen to bold steps. Recently, someone told me that
S2: a doctor in Mexico had joined their church and they
S2: got saved through bold steps. And I'm like, wow, this
S2: is amazing how seeds are just being shot throughout all
S2: the world. We know specifically that there are people in
S2: closed countries right now that listen in secret because it's
S2: dangerous for them to be caught listening to Christian radio.
S2: This is an amazing time to get the gospel out there.
S2: There are close to 9 billion people in the world,
S2: and there are millions and millions of people that have
S2: very little gospel presence in their world. They are saturated
S2: with false religion, with heresies, with a lot of different
S2: ideology that does not allow Jesus Christ to come to
S2: the forefront. And so radio, podcasting, our technology is people
S2: can live stream. This is one of the ways that
S2: we get past the guards at the borders and we
S2: through the airwaves. God has given us a beautiful gift
S2: to go past the guards, into the houses, into the homes,
S2: and right to into the bedrooms and kitchens where people
S2: live so that they are hearing the good message of
S2: Jesus like never before. And we are passionate about this.
S2: We know that there's a lot of other believers that
S2: are passionate as well. And we're saying, join us, please.
S2: This is a powerful moment for us to proclaim the
S2: gospel of Jesus Christ, especially as the world is being
S2: shaken in so many ways.
S1: I believe there are some listening right now who are
S1: not just hearers of the word, but want to be
S1: active participants in spreading that word. So today could be
S1: your day to step into that calling by giving to
S1: bold steps. Just go to Bold Steps org to make
S1: a gift or call 800 D.L. Moody. That's (800) 356-6639. Remember,
S1: your gift of any amount helps share God's Word with
S1: those who need it most. Really, around the world, when
S1: you give any amount, we'll send you a special gift
S1: as our thanks and we'll take time to tell you
S1: about that just a little bit later here in the
S1: program today. But let's get back to the message now.
S1: Here again is Mark.
S2: Some of us have been forgiven, but we still act
S2: like we are under guilt and condemnation. Can I just
S2: tell you what it means to be forgiven by God?
S2: Psalms chapter 32 and verse one and two says, blessed
S2: is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
S2: Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not
S2: count against him, in whose spirit is no deceit. Can
S2: I tell you, when Jesus Christ has forgiven you, you?
S2: It doesn't matter how long you've been there, what you've done,
S2: how grievous it's been, how deep and dark it's been,
S2: how nasty and dirty it has been. Your past is
S2: absolutely 100% expunged legally, spiritually before God. Your past is
S2: wiped clean not because you deserve it, but because Jesus
S2: paid the price. That means that whatever you've done is
S2: washed before God. Now, there may be consequences for what
S2: you've done. God can forgive a murder, but you may
S2: still go to jail and have to serve a sentence
S2: here on earth. But God forgives. So you walk before
S2: God and it's covered. It's blotted. And so some of
S2: you have been cleansed, but you still walk as though
S2: your past condemns you. The Bible tells us that God listen. What?
S2: What else? It says in Isaiah chapter 38 verse 17.
S2: In your love you keep me from the pit of destruction.
S2: You have put all my sins behind your back so
S2: God does not look back at our sins. It tells
S2: us in Isaiah chapter 43 verse 25, I love this.
S2: God is speaking. He says, I, even I am, who
S2: blots your transgressions for my own sake, and remembers your
S2: sins no more. Listen, I love the fact that God
S2: chooses not to remember our sins anymore. God doesn't have amnesia.
S2: He's omniscient. He knows all things, but he chooses not
S2: to remember our sins. Unlike your spouse. Or boyfriend or girlfriend,
S2: sometimes you get in an argument and we have our
S2: mental filing cabinet. Oh, yeah. Remember what you said five
S2: years ago when you were mad at me and you
S2: said this? I can't believe you did that. Babe, I
S2: never I barely remembered that. Oh, yeah. Here's another one.
S2: I remember when you just left. You forgot my birthday.
S2: I can't believe you. I babe, you know, I had
S2: a lot going on. No, no, you forgot my birthday. Oh,
S2: you want to say that? And you have a whole
S2: filing cabinet that you pull out during argument times. Let
S2: me tell you, God, He has an even more in-depth
S2: filing cabinet, but he's closed it. He locks it and
S2: he chooses not to remember it anymore. It's wiped. It's clean.
S2: It's done. And I want you to remember that because, man,
S2: I run into some some guys here that I, I mean,
S2: I met him before. They were believers before their BC days.
S2: And so when they introduced me, they, you know, I
S2: know them with their street name. And then after a while,
S2: what I've discovered is they, they change their name because
S2: they don't want to be associated with the street name anymore.
S2: And so I still remember I still call them by
S2: their street name when I pastor. It's not that anymore.
S2: Now I'm. And they gave me their new name, their
S2: new identity. And I think that's so cool because it's
S2: they're they're saying that's who I was, but but that's
S2: not who I am anymore. I have a new identity.
S2: I have a new calling. I have a new sense
S2: of who I am. That's the old. Here's the new.
S2: And so I believe that some of us have been cleansed, washed, forgiven,
S2: but we still act as though we're under condemnation. We
S2: still act as though we're guilty. We still act as
S2: though our sin is still condemning us. And I want
S2: to say, take on your new identity. You're a son
S2: or daughter of the Most High God, and when you
S2: come before God, you're not who you were. When God
S2: looks at you, he sees you through Jesus Christ, and
S2: you have the righteousness of Jesus imputed upon you. And
S2: so when God sees you, he sees son. He sees daughter.
S2: He doesn't see alcoholic, divorced, liar, cheater, failure. That's not
S2: who God sees. God sees clean son, daughter of the
S2: Most High God. That is your identity in God. So
S2: how do we release people? So if you know that
S2: today there's unforgiveness in your heart, if you sense that
S2: as I've been speaking, there's a name or 2 or
S2: 3 that pop up. If you've diagnosed yourself and realized,
S2: I don't have joy because I'm grieving the spirit, and
S2: I'm tired of having my head trapped between the bars
S2: of unforgiveness. Then here's your action. Step number one you
S2: need to confess and repent. Confess means that I agree
S2: with God about the fact that there is unforgiveness in
S2: my heart. I have to tell God God I have unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment.
S2: It's there. It's in the crevice of my heart. It's
S2: poison in my soul. And I have to acknowledge and
S2: admit before you, God, that it's there. Secondly, it's not
S2: enough to confess it. You have to repent of it.
S2: Repentance means that I'm willing to deal with it, that
S2: I don't want it there anymore. I'm willing to go
S2: to the hard places and say, God, take it out
S2: of my heart because I don't want to. I'm turning
S2: away from it. This is not what I want within
S2: my soul. It means that you recognize the unforgiveness. You
S2: stop excusing it. You agree with God that that's not
S2: what you want. And then secondly, and lastly, you need
S2: to choose the action of forgiving and releasing the person
S2: that is hurt or offended you. You say, well, pastor,
S2: I want to. I just don't feel it. You don't
S2: have to feel anything. Obedience isn't driven by feeling. Obedience
S2: is driven by obedience. The feelings come afterwards. And so
S2: some of you are confusing a feeling of forgiveness with
S2: the act of forgiveness. I need to take the action
S2: of saying, God, I have held this person in debtors prison.
S2: They have hurt me. And so I felt like you
S2: owed me this. I'm angry, resentful, bitter against what you've
S2: done because it it hurt me so bad. Forgiveness is
S2: saying it did hurt me. It was bad. I've had
S2: to overcome it. It's taken a long time. But I
S2: no longer hold you in debtors prison. I open up
S2: the door, debtor's prison and I release you from it.
S2: I release you from the payment that I felt like
S2: you owed me. And I'll say you owe me nothing,
S2: I release you. Not because you deserve it, but because
S2: God has forgiven me. I want nothing in my soul
S2: that contaminates my heart. And so I set you free.
S2: You now owe me nothing, and I. I demand no
S2: emotional payment or suffering on my part from you. I've
S2: released you and there is a declaration. There is a verbal.
S2: I release this person from what they've done. You. You
S2: say it before God. You say, God, help me to
S2: walk in that forgiveness. Because oftentimes if you still have
S2: a relationship with that person, every time they say something
S2: or something else comes up, it feels like you have
S2: to release them again and again and again. Some of you,
S2: these people are dead and gone, and you may need
S2: to release them even though they're dead and gone. But
S2: there is a necessity if you're going to move forward
S2: in the joy of God, that you forgive those that
S2: have hurt you.
S1: You're listening to Bold Steps with our Bible teacher, Mark Jobe.
S1: Today's message on the trap of unforgiveness can be found
S1: in shared any time by going to our website, Bold Steps.
S1: Now Mark, next time we'll hear a message titled The
S1: Power of the blessing as we head into Father's Day weekend.
S2: Yeah, Father's Day weekend is right around the corner, and
S2: I have a little tradition at our church. We've been
S2: doing it for probably the last five years or so.
S2: We actually I preach with my son Josiah. Some of
S2: our listeners know that my son is graduate from Moody
S2: Bible Institute, by the way, and him and I preach
S2: together on this topic of Father's Day. That's great. And
S2: it's great to have a multi-generational perspective. And when I
S2: first started to do this, he was not a father,
S2: but now he has three boys.
S1: Oh, he's so much wiser now. Oh, yeah. Three under.
S2: Three. So now it's not just theory. Now it's reality.
S1: Well, the message is called The Power of the blessing. And, uh,
S1: team taught by Mark and Josiah Jobe. So that'll be
S1: fun to hear on bold steps. Uh, Mark, while you're here,
S1: something else I'd like to share with our listeners is
S1: how this month, only when they give to bold steps,
S1: we'll be happy to send a copy of our bold
S1: step gift. Lies, boys. Believe.
S2: Yes. So if you're raising boys right now, especially between
S2: the ages of 8 to 12, you have the great
S2: responsibility and privilege to speak into their life and identity.
S2: A lot of boys these days are being pumped with
S2: a lot of lies, and so lies. Boys believe. I
S2: think if you're a parent raising boys right now, this
S2: would be a great book.
S1: Or a grandparent.
S2: Yes, or a grandparent as well.
S1: And unlike traditional books that may not hold a boy's attention, Lies,
S1: Boys believe, is specifically designed with young men in mind,
S1: filled with engaging illustrations. And there are some fun puzzles,
S1: interactive challenges, and graphic elements that appeal to boys visual
S1: learning style. This book makes discovering truth and adventure rather
S1: than a chore. This thoughtfully crafted, bold step gift will
S1: keep boys engaged while imparting life changing biblical wisdom. And today,
S1: we'd love to send you a copy when you give
S1: a gift to support this ministry. Just go to Bold
S1: Steps org or call us at 800. That's (800) 356-6639. You
S1: can also send your gift in the mail and request
S1: the book. Write to us at bold steps. 820 North
S1: LaSalle Boulevard, Chicago, Illinois 606 ten. I'm Wayne Shepherd, inviting
S1: you to join us again tomorrow for the beginning of
S1: Mark's lesson called The Power of the blessing. Don't miss
S1: this special Father's Day message coming up Thursday on Bold
S1: Steps with Mark John. Bold steps is a production of
S1: Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute.