WEBVTT - The Power of Role-Parenting – Part 3 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:04.320 Today on Bold Steps, Mark Jobe gives us some practical 0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:05.479 parenting tips. 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:10.920 The school system is not a substitute teacher for your children. 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:15.920 The church, society and programs out there are not to 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:20.640 raise your children. You are the raisers of your children. 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.599 You are the instructors of the children. You are. 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:40.800 Welcome to Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Mark is president 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:43.360 of Moody Bible Institute and the senior pastor of New 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.960 Life Community Church in Chicago. I'm Wayne Shepherd. As we 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.199 move forward in our study of the book of Ephesians, 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.360 Mark is going to be taking us to chapter six 0:00:51.360 --> 0:00:53.720 in order to help us glean some practical parenting tips 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:57.160 from the text as we try not to exasperate our children. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.120 Today's message is part of our series titled When You 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.880 Believe everything changes. And if you've missed any of these messages, 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:07.880 you can catch up online at Bold Steps. All right, 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:10.640 now let's get started. Today's message is called the Power 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:14.199 of Role parenting. And here's our Bible teacher, Mark job. 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:21.000 And he says parents or fathers, verse four, which could 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:24.240 be used in a plural way for fathers and mothers. Fathers, 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:29.119 do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:33.280 the training and instruction of the Lord. The second point 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.920 if you're taking notes, write this down a parent's willingness 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:40.440 to train and instruct spiritually will help shape the destiny 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:46.959 of their children. Now, after having said children, obey your parents. Listen, 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:50.840 if your if your mother or father says, do this, 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:54.400 you do it. If they say this is the rules. 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:58.200 That's the rules. If they say this is how you 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:00.240 this is the rules of this household. Those are the 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:06.890 rules of the household, period. Now, having said that, I 0:02:06.890 --> 0:02:09.169 want to make sure you don't leave parents. You don't 0:02:09.169 --> 0:02:14.530 leave this meeting beating your chest, saying, I'm dead. And 0:02:15.410 --> 0:02:17.490 I want to make sure you understand the other side 0:02:17.490 --> 0:02:20.530 of this as well, because it says, fathers, do not 0:02:20.530 --> 0:02:23.810 exasperate your children. What does it mean to exasperate? To 0:02:24.169 --> 0:02:30.770 exasperate means to lead them to seething hostility, or to 0:02:30.810 --> 0:02:35.170 frustrate them to a point that they become angry towards 0:02:35.650 --> 0:02:42.889 the parents? Um, sometimes there's a lot of anger in households, uh, 0:02:42.889 --> 0:02:46.970 from children to the parents, and there's seething anger. There's 0:02:46.970 --> 0:02:50.889 this feeling of frustration and anger that arises, and you're 0:02:50.889 --> 0:02:53.929 not always sure where it came from. And you're the 0:02:53.930 --> 0:02:56.530 household seems like, well, there's a lot of battle happening 0:02:56.530 --> 0:02:59.410 in my household. There's a lot of anger from the 0:02:59.410 --> 0:03:03.090 children coming towards the parents and the Bible says, hey, 0:03:03.130 --> 0:03:06.850 do not, do not exasperate the anger. In other words, 0:03:06.850 --> 0:03:09.850 don't stir that anger up by the way you parent. 0:03:10.889 --> 0:03:17.010 Let me give you a few things that lead to exasperation. And, um, 0:03:17.169 --> 0:03:19.970 I've taken this list and edited this list from a 0:03:19.970 --> 0:03:23.570 commentary that John MacArthur had in Colossians. And let me 0:03:23.570 --> 0:03:27.330 give you a short version of this list. Uh, ways 0:03:27.330 --> 0:03:33.130 that we exasperate our children one Overprotection you can exasperate 0:03:33.130 --> 0:03:37.050 your children and make them angry when you're overprotective and 0:03:37.050 --> 0:03:41.130 you never allow your children any liberty. Uh, they have 0:03:41.130 --> 0:03:43.970 strict rules about everything, no matter what your children do. 0:03:44.010 --> 0:03:47.650 Overprotective parents do not trust them because nothing they do 0:03:47.690 --> 0:03:51.730 earns their parent's trust. So children begin to despair and 0:03:51.730 --> 0:03:55.290 may believe that how they behave is irrelevant and that 0:03:55.290 --> 0:04:00.650 can lead to rebellion. Listen, uh, a few years back, 0:04:00.700 --> 0:04:03.660 when Josh McDowell was here, he said this I love 0:04:03.660 --> 0:04:10.260 this quote. Rules without relationship lead to rebellion. Some of 0:04:10.260 --> 0:04:14.980 you were raised in very super authoritarian households in which 0:04:14.980 --> 0:04:19.300 you demanded the you demanded respect and you gave rules, 0:04:19.300 --> 0:04:22.260 but you had no relationship with your your parents had 0:04:22.260 --> 0:04:28.620 no relationship, and your children may have obeyed, but eventually 0:04:28.660 --> 0:04:32.419 leads to rebellion. If there's rules without relationship, it leads 0:04:32.420 --> 0:04:37.060 to rebellion. And so if you are over protective or 0:04:37.060 --> 0:04:40.780 over demanding and don't give some latitude, then it can 0:04:40.779 --> 0:04:48.580 lead to frustration. Number two favoritism. If you show unwittingly, 0:04:48.580 --> 0:04:51.580 if you compare one child to another, like why can't 0:04:51.580 --> 0:04:54.059 you be more like your sister? Or your sister always 0:04:54.060 --> 0:04:56.180 had better grades, your brother had better grades. How come 0:04:56.180 --> 0:04:58.900 you can't be that way? How come you're the black sheep? 0:04:58.900 --> 0:05:01.140 How come I always have to look at them. How 0:05:01.380 --> 0:05:03.580 are your cousin? Is doing a lot better than you. 0:05:03.620 --> 0:05:06.940 Do not compare your children with other children. Your children 0:05:06.940 --> 0:05:10.900 are individuals. And if they begin to feel like they're 0:05:10.940 --> 0:05:14.339 the black sheep, or you show favoritism to another child 0:05:14.339 --> 0:05:17.220 in the household, that could begin to create a sense 0:05:17.220 --> 0:05:24.140 of hostility or frustration rising within them. Number three depreciating 0:05:24.140 --> 0:05:28.860 their worth. When when you when you deal with the 0:05:28.860 --> 0:05:31.740 children as though that that a child feels like they're 0:05:31.740 --> 0:05:34.620 not important to that you don't listen to what they 0:05:34.620 --> 0:05:39.660 have to say, um, or that, um, you don't give 0:05:39.660 --> 0:05:41.620 any time to them. They begin to feel like they 0:05:41.620 --> 0:05:43.580 have very little worth in the in the house. They 0:05:43.580 --> 0:05:46.820 begin to they'll bottle up anger and begin to feel 0:05:46.820 --> 0:05:51.300 exasperated or angry because there's never a listening ear number 0:05:51.300 --> 0:05:54.260 for unrealistic goals. If you set goals that are so 0:05:54.260 --> 0:05:58.820 high that demand perfection, and no matter how hard they strive, 0:05:58.900 --> 0:06:01.670 there's always a critical word about how they could do 0:06:01.670 --> 0:06:05.910 better or where they're failing. Then it will create frustration 0:06:06.110 --> 0:06:12.029 or failing to show affection. Parents need to communicate love, 0:06:12.510 --> 0:06:16.630 both verbally and physically to their children, or it will 0:06:16.630 --> 0:06:21.349 discourage and alienate. Do you know how many adult men 0:06:21.950 --> 0:06:25.150 in their 30s or 40s have sat down with me 0:06:25.150 --> 0:06:29.550 with tears in their eyes, broken and choking up, saying, 0:06:29.589 --> 0:06:34.789 I never remember my father once telling me he loved me. 0:06:35.790 --> 0:06:43.469 These are grown men. Quivering because they say, I don't 0:06:43.510 --> 0:06:52.110 remember my father once saying, I love you, son. Physical 0:06:52.110 --> 0:06:55.469 and verbal affection. Your kids need to know you love them. 0:07:00.150 --> 0:07:04.270 No child should ever have to think. Did my father 0:07:04.270 --> 0:07:06.670 or mother ever tell me I love, I love you? 0:07:07.150 --> 0:07:10.310 You should say it so much, so often that they know. 0:07:11.270 --> 0:07:12.990 You say, well, pastor, I'm just not that way. I'm 0:07:13.030 --> 0:07:16.230 not very emotional or very expressive. Then learn to be. 0:07:26.430 --> 0:07:28.270 I just feel awkward doing it because my dad never 0:07:28.310 --> 0:07:29.070 do it. Well. Hey. 0:07:29.550 --> 0:07:34.790 Break the cycle. Break it. Listen, unless you begin to 0:07:34.790 --> 0:07:36.870 tell your daughter you love her. Unless you begin to. 0:07:37.390 --> 0:07:39.550 Unless you begin to hug her, unless you begin to 0:07:39.590 --> 0:07:42.590 show appreciation, there will be some man there that will 0:07:42.630 --> 0:07:47.070 be willing to do that. And sometimes the wrong man. 0:07:47.070 --> 0:07:50.990 And she'll be driven to sometimes wrong choices, because she's 0:07:50.990 --> 0:07:53.550 looking for the love of a man that she should 0:07:53.590 --> 0:07:58.870 have found in dad through her father. Appreciating, loving her, 0:07:58.990 --> 0:08:02.440 affirming her. and she's going to look for it somewhere. 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.600 She better find it in you. Dad. 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:14.680 We'll continue our message in just a moment here on 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.560 Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. But first, Mark, if you'll 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:19.280 permit me, I want to share something that's been weighing 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:22.280 on my heart lately. I've been thinking about how throughout history, 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:25.360 God has always raised up people who prioritized his mission, 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.800 even during some pretty turbulent times. Whether it was the 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.320 early church during persecution or believers during world wars, or 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:35.880 missionaries in hostile territories, there've always been those who kept 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:40.040 their focus on advancing the gospel despite everything happening around them. 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.680 And we've got a lot happening around us right now. 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:45.000 And, Wayne, oftentimes it's. 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:48.840 In the midst of a lot of turbulence and turmoil 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:53.360 that people start looking to the heavens in special ways. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:56.400 And I believe that we live in a moment like that. 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.640 And I just want to say that as a pastor, 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:02.079 I've been a pastor for over 30 some years in 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:06.280 the city of Chicago. I have never seen the openness 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:10.160 that I've seen now. That's incredible. I'm having these conversations, 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:13.720 especially with young people we've seen at our church. Over 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:16.960 a thousand people come to Christ and get baptized in 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.880 the last 24 months, mainly under the age of 35. 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:26.800 Many that had no religious background and are just hungry 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:29.640 for God. And I think the turbulence of the world 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:33.840 has caused them to say I need something. And many 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:38.440 of us as believers, we're getting too distracted by what's 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:41.880 happening and not focused enough on the gospel. And so 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:44.840 I want to bring your attention back to the opportunities 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:47.240 that you have around you. That's what Bold Steps is 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:50.400 all about. Regardless of what's happening in our world, we 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.520 believe that the greatest news that needs to be proclaimed 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:55.240 is the good news that Jesus. 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:58.920 Christ is here. He's the Savior. And we do not 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:02.130 want to miss this window of opportunity of so many 0:10:02.130 --> 0:10:08.370 people being open. So join us as we continue to boldly, passionately, powerfully, 0:10:08.370 --> 0:10:12.130 24 hours a day through moody radio, proclaim the good 0:10:12.130 --> 0:10:13.250 news of Jesus. 0:10:13.250 --> 0:10:16.170 And at Moody, we're sending workers into that harvest, aren't we? 0:10:16.210 --> 0:10:19.410 We are. And so excited about that as well. Uh, 0:10:19.410 --> 0:10:23.650 we're sending people focused on the gospel. Bold steps, as 0:10:23.650 --> 0:10:28.130 you know, is making sure that we include a call 0:10:28.130 --> 0:10:31.490 to the gospel on a regular basis. And so excited 0:10:31.490 --> 0:10:33.250 to see people coming to Jesus. 0:10:33.290 --> 0:10:36.090 Well, you who are listening can invest your resources in 0:10:36.090 --> 0:10:39.290 sharing God's life changing truth. To make a gift, simply 0:10:39.290 --> 0:10:42.610 go online to Bold Steps org or our phone number 0:10:42.610 --> 0:10:50.530 is 800. That's (800) 356-6639. And your partnership makes an eternal 0:10:50.530 --> 0:10:53.170 difference and will send you, by request, a special bold 0:10:53.170 --> 0:10:56.290 step gift as a token of our appreciation. We'll talk 0:10:56.290 --> 0:10:59.209 more about that gift later in today's message, but consider 0:10:59.210 --> 0:11:02.410 partnering with Bold Steps. Now back to the message here 0:11:02.410 --> 0:11:03.290 again as Mark. 0:11:07.570 --> 0:11:09.610 And sometimes we're good at it when the kids are little. 0:11:09.610 --> 0:11:11.809 Come here. We hug them, play with them, love them. 0:11:11.809 --> 0:11:14.370 But then when they get a little older, we feel awkward. 0:11:14.570 --> 0:11:18.210 I've discovered that sometimes men, as their daughters, get older 0:11:18.330 --> 0:11:21.209 and reach puberty, and our young women, sometimes they feel 0:11:21.210 --> 0:11:24.010 awkward with that. Listen, I believe your daughter needs to 0:11:24.050 --> 0:11:26.370 needs to be lavished with love all the way up 0:11:26.370 --> 0:11:29.730 into whatever year she has. In appropriate ways, of course, 0:11:29.730 --> 0:11:33.209 but lavished with loved, hugged and and let know that 0:11:33.210 --> 0:11:37.209 you love her, and that she is that both and 0:11:37.210 --> 0:11:39.890 your boys as well. Boys, as much as they'll let 0:11:39.890 --> 0:11:42.970 you hug them, right. They reach your age, dad. But 0:11:42.970 --> 0:11:45.370 but you know, you you live through that, you live 0:11:45.370 --> 0:11:49.569 through that, and you show them. You verbally affirm them 0:11:49.610 --> 0:11:53.650 physically showing affection. There's something about kids that know that 0:11:53.650 --> 0:11:57.650 they're loved, that are much more secure in their life 0:11:57.650 --> 0:12:01.180 as well. And some men Listen, some women need to 0:12:01.179 --> 0:12:03.980 learn this as well, but I especially find it among 0:12:03.980 --> 0:12:10.059 the men that have had austere, discipline oriented fathers that 0:12:10.059 --> 0:12:13.219 feel like if I show them affection, I'm showing weakness. 0:12:13.220 --> 0:12:14.260 They just need to learn. 0:12:14.260 --> 0:12:14.620 To. 0:12:14.820 --> 0:12:18.660 Rough it up and discipline. And they they never have 0:12:18.660 --> 0:12:21.740 learned how to show affection. And usually you're pretty bad 0:12:21.740 --> 0:12:24.980 at showing affection to your wife and to your kids 0:12:24.980 --> 0:12:28.380 and to your sons. Listen, it's something that you need 0:12:28.380 --> 0:12:32.660 to break and need to learn and need to learn 0:12:32.660 --> 0:12:36.099 that you, as a father, have the power to embrace 0:12:36.100 --> 0:12:41.900 your children, show physical affection and verbal affection often and regularly, 0:12:41.900 --> 0:12:46.540 so that they know that they are loved. Amen. Amen. 0:12:51.340 --> 0:12:54.780 And then criticism. You know, there's times of correction. But 0:12:54.780 --> 0:12:57.900 if your kids always live under criticism, it will wither 0:12:57.940 --> 0:13:01.580 their spirits. Neglect is another thing. If you are so 0:13:01.580 --> 0:13:08.900 busy and there's things like addiction or overworking or dysfunctional 0:13:08.900 --> 0:13:12.459 marriage that consumes you and your problems and causes you 0:13:12.460 --> 0:13:15.700 to neglect your children where they feel like you never 0:13:15.700 --> 0:13:18.980 have time, you really don't care. It's not a part 0:13:18.980 --> 0:13:22.179 because you're so consumed in your own stuff that they 0:13:22.179 --> 0:13:25.740 begin to feel neglected. Neglected kids will begin to develop 0:13:25.740 --> 0:13:30.579 a frustrated, angry spirit, and oftentimes kids that are neglected 0:13:30.580 --> 0:13:34.660 will start acting out to get attention, because what they're 0:13:34.660 --> 0:13:37.300 looking for is attention from their parents, and they'll take 0:13:37.300 --> 0:13:42.020 positive or negative attention, whatever kind of attention they can get. 0:13:42.540 --> 0:13:45.180 You show me a family that starts the the mom 0:13:45.179 --> 0:13:49.500 and dad starts struggling, and every time a child starts 0:13:49.540 --> 0:13:53.060 acting up, the first thing a counselor asks is, is 0:13:53.059 --> 0:13:57.940 everything all right at home? Because when things are not 0:13:57.980 --> 0:14:00.910 at right at home, a child feels neglected and they 0:14:00.910 --> 0:14:05.150 start acting out their frustration because they're looking for attention 0:14:05.150 --> 0:14:08.429 and they will take positive or negative attention, whatever they 0:14:08.429 --> 0:14:11.030 can get. And so there needs to be, regardless of 0:14:11.030 --> 0:14:13.189 what you're going through at home, there needs to be 0:14:13.190 --> 0:14:16.630 a sense of showing affection and care to your children, 0:14:16.630 --> 0:14:21.030 regardless of what your own personal struggles may be. Excessive 0:14:21.030 --> 0:14:22.870 discipline is the last one I'm going to give you 0:14:22.870 --> 0:14:27.750 that leads to frustration. Listen, you can you can provide 0:14:27.750 --> 0:14:32.110 excessive discipline so that it crushes the spirit of your children. 0:14:32.710 --> 0:14:36.790 Let me clarify something. I believe in corporal punishment for 0:14:36.790 --> 0:14:42.390 smaller children when it's very controlled and very limited. Never 0:14:42.390 --> 0:14:47.590 when you're angry. Never when you're frustrated. Never when you're 0:14:47.630 --> 0:14:52.550 out of control. When my children were small. This is 0:14:52.550 --> 0:14:54.710 how it would go if I used corporal punishment. And 0:14:54.710 --> 0:14:57.350 they were, you know, 5 or 6 years old, I'd say, okay, 0:14:57.350 --> 0:15:00.680 go to your room And I'll meet you in your 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:06.920 room and explain and sit down. Bend over the bed. 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:10.400 You get one swat. Of course. It was like they're 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:12.880 going to kill him. Please. 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:14.240 I'll never do it. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:22.960 And then it was one limited one. 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:28.000 Parents that often use corporal punishment. They do it when 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.840 they're angry. They start slapping, they start hitting. They start 0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:37.120 getting out of control. That is never listen. That is never, never, never, right? Ever. 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:44.680 If you have a problem with explosive anger and it 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:49.640 leads to physical mishandling over handling of your children, let 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.800 me tell you what to do. If you're angry, you're mad, 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.120 and you cannot control yourself. Listen, walk out of that 0:15:56.120 --> 0:16:01.320 house now. Get out of the house until you can 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:05.760 calm yourself down, and then you can administer a a 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.840 right discipline to your children. And by the way, when 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:13.200 your children get get older, any kind of cultural corporal 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:17.040 punishment is just uncalled for. When your children reach an age, 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.800 there's a small window of opportunity when they're young, very 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:23.840 limited discipline, corporal discipline. But when they reach an older age, 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:27.240 when they get their teen years 13, 12, 13, I 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:31.320 think that it's inappropriate to be administering corporal punishment because 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:36.080 typically Scripture says, do not exasperate your children did bring 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.600 them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:41.440 I love this because it says, bring them up the ideas. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:46.600 Nurture them, nurture them. It's like carrying nurture. It's the 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.720 word we use that's used for feeding your own, taking 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:53.120 care of yourself. It says nurture them in a loving way. 0:16:53.360 --> 0:17:01.000 Bring them up. How? Two ways. One in Instruction and training. 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:03.000 Look at what it says. Two words are used there. 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:06.920 Bring them up in training and instruction. Training has to 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:11.080 do with corrective discipline, and instruction has to do with 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:15.280 teaching them. Listen, parents, I want you to understand this really, 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:20.000 really well. The school system is not a substitute teacher 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:23.719 for your children. The church is not a substitute teacher 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:27.679 for your children. Your grandparents are not a substitute teacher 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:33.400 for your children. Listen, society and programs out there are 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:37.600 not to raise your children. You are the raisers of 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:42.640 your children. You are the instructors of the children. You are. 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:46.800 You say, well, I sent him a daycare to teach 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:48.320 him then. No no no, no, daycare is not going 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:49.880 to do it. I sent him in a youth group. 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:51.439 I hope that you get him straight. No, no, no 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:55.080 youth groups. Not going to do that. You are. You 0:17:55.080 --> 0:18:00.450 are the raisers of your children. There's no one that 0:18:00.450 --> 0:18:03.250 can be a substitute for a parent. That means that 0:18:03.250 --> 0:18:06.090 you have interactive time with them. That means that you 0:18:06.090 --> 0:18:10.770 get involved in their life. It means you talk. Oh, 0:18:10.770 --> 0:18:13.690 you say other teenagers. Hey, listen, I believe you can 0:18:13.690 --> 0:18:16.810 talk to teenagers. I've had a few of my own. 0:18:16.850 --> 0:18:26.090 I have a few of my own. Find ways, find 0:18:26.130 --> 0:18:30.010 hangout times. Things that you can do together. I have 0:18:30.010 --> 0:18:33.290 a 16 year old right now. He's behind the camera 0:18:33.290 --> 0:18:35.129 right there. So I always know where he's at at 0:18:35.170 --> 0:18:42.090 this service. He can't escape. You know, there's things that 0:18:42.090 --> 0:18:45.170 we like to do together. We've been working out together. 0:18:45.690 --> 0:18:47.690 Go to the gym a couple times, you know, just 0:18:47.730 --> 0:18:51.530 work out together. Why? It's a bonding time. Next time 0:18:51.530 --> 0:18:53.210 you see him, say, hey, I think your biceps getting 0:18:53.210 --> 0:18:55.570 a little bigger there. You know, that's dad's been coaching 0:18:55.570 --> 0:18:58.729 him there. I listen to his music. He listens to 0:18:58.730 --> 0:19:01.740 my music. His music's a lot louder than my music. 0:19:02.980 --> 0:19:05.060 He says it's Christian music. But, you know, I don't 0:19:05.060 --> 0:19:10.420 know because I can't understand the words. I just know 0:19:10.420 --> 0:19:11.300 it sounds something like. 0:19:11.340 --> 0:19:13.460 Rah rah rah rah rah rah rah. 0:19:13.940 --> 0:19:16.060 I actually like it now. I've listened to it so much, 0:19:16.060 --> 0:19:18.020 so much going in the car with them that I 0:19:18.020 --> 0:19:20.700 actually like it, you know, been to a concert with them, 0:19:20.700 --> 0:19:23.260 to it, got in a mosh pit with him. You know, 0:19:23.300 --> 0:19:27.379 I you know why. Finding common ground there. And all 0:19:27.380 --> 0:19:30.500 I'm saying is that I believe that you cannot raise 0:19:30.500 --> 0:19:33.660 your children unless you find common ground to get into 0:19:33.660 --> 0:19:36.580 the world, to hear the world know what they're doing, 0:19:36.619 --> 0:19:41.020 know what's going on, find some ways of instructing, coaching, 0:19:41.020 --> 0:19:45.380 getting involved in their sports or their school activities or 0:19:45.420 --> 0:19:47.660 things that you can do together, things that you can 0:19:47.660 --> 0:19:50.420 talk about. I believe you have to take an extra 0:19:50.420 --> 0:19:53.740 effort to do that, but I believe there's no substitute 0:19:53.740 --> 0:19:56.260 for it. And the day will come that you will 0:19:56.260 --> 0:19:58.580 look back at the season when your kids were at 0:19:58.580 --> 0:20:06.180 home and you'll say, I wish I would have. I 0:20:06.180 --> 0:20:09.580 wish I would have, and I want to challenge you. 0:20:09.580 --> 0:20:13.139 If your kids are still at home, take advantage of 0:20:13.140 --> 0:20:19.419 the door of opportunity that you still have. My daughter's 0:20:19.420 --> 0:20:21.619 at her first year of college. She's out of state. 0:20:23.980 --> 0:20:31.740 Thank God for texting. Facebook, Skype. At least a couple 0:20:31.780 --> 0:20:33.459 times a week I'll text her in the morning. I 0:20:33.460 --> 0:20:38.460 did this morning. Hey. Good morning. Love you. How you doing? Hi. 0:20:39.180 --> 0:20:43.500 I want her to know that that that relationship is there. 0:20:46.220 --> 0:20:48.300 I don't be I don't believe the teenage years have 0:20:48.300 --> 0:20:50.420 to be the worst years of your life, by the way. 0:20:52.500 --> 0:20:55.340 I believe they can be challenging, but I believe they 0:20:55.340 --> 0:20:57.100 can be. Some years that you look back and say, wow, 0:20:57.100 --> 0:21:01.660 those were great years. Good years they were at home. 0:21:01.700 --> 0:21:06.540 I had fun, I loved my kids. As they get older, 0:21:06.540 --> 0:21:08.940 you release them. The leash has to be unleashed. You 0:21:08.940 --> 0:21:11.340 can't treat a 16 year old like you treat a 0:21:11.340 --> 0:21:14.220 ten year old. They have to be released a little bit, 0:21:14.220 --> 0:21:16.660 and you need to know what the appropriate leash is 0:21:16.660 --> 0:21:20.660 to let go, but I believe, listen, parents do not 0:21:20.660 --> 0:21:23.459 buy into the lie that your kids don't listen to 0:21:23.460 --> 0:21:26.940 you anymore, that you're too far apart, that your opinion 0:21:26.940 --> 0:21:29.219 is not important. Listen, if your kids are still a 0:21:29.220 --> 0:21:31.500 part of your life, I want to tell you your 0:21:31.500 --> 0:21:37.220 opinion and your life influences them deeply. Don't buy into 0:21:37.220 --> 0:21:39.540 the lie that they're not listening. They are. 0:21:47.540 --> 0:21:50.899 Some great practical advice and instruction from the book of Ephesians. 0:21:50.900 --> 0:21:53.100 You're listening to the Bible teaching of Mark job, and 0:21:53.100 --> 0:21:55.980 this is Bold steps. Well, Mark, this was such a 0:21:55.980 --> 0:21:58.580 powerful message that many people needed to hear, I'm sure. 0:21:58.580 --> 0:22:00.550 But parents aren't the only ones who can make a 0:22:00.550 --> 0:22:03.790 difference in the next generation. Us grandparents, you and me 0:22:03.790 --> 0:22:06.869 and all the grandparents listening can as well. Your grandkids 0:22:06.869 --> 0:22:10.070 are close at hand. Mine are kind of far away physically, 0:22:10.070 --> 0:22:12.110 but we can we can encourage them, can't we? 0:22:12.150 --> 0:22:16.830 Yeah, absolutely. And I want to just highlight the understated 0:22:17.070 --> 0:22:21.909 influence of grandparents. And if you're a grandparent and you're listening, 0:22:21.910 --> 0:22:25.150 I don't want you to undervalue the power of your 0:22:25.150 --> 0:22:28.990 influence because you have both influenced the parents that are 0:22:28.990 --> 0:22:33.070 raising those children, but you also have the power to 0:22:33.109 --> 0:22:36.430 speak into their life and their destiny. My wife and 0:22:36.430 --> 0:22:40.830 I have five grandchildren now. We understand that we're not 0:22:40.830 --> 0:22:46.030 the primary raisers of those kids, but that they do 0:22:46.070 --> 0:22:48.990 value what we speak into their lives, and it makes 0:22:48.990 --> 0:22:53.790 a huge difference. So grandparents, pray for your grandchildren speak 0:22:53.790 --> 0:22:57.830 into their lives. Some of you have grandchildren who are 0:22:57.830 --> 0:23:02.109 not being raised in Christian households, but typically the parents 0:23:02.109 --> 0:23:06.230 don't resist. If you read them a Bible, talk to them. 0:23:06.470 --> 0:23:08.750 I have I know a lot of grandparents that they're 0:23:08.790 --> 0:23:12.830 the ones that are taking their grandkids to church. Even 0:23:12.830 --> 0:23:17.110 if their parents don't. And so there's a powerful influence. 0:23:17.109 --> 0:23:21.950 And I've heard testimonies over and over as, uh, adults 0:23:21.950 --> 0:23:24.870 get ready to get baptized, they'll say something like, it 0:23:24.869 --> 0:23:28.590 was my grandmother or my father or grandfather that taught 0:23:28.590 --> 0:23:31.030 me about Jesus that often. Don't I hear it a lot? 0:23:31.070 --> 0:23:33.270 I know growing up you lived thousands of miles from 0:23:33.270 --> 0:23:37.150 your grandparents, but were you aware of their prayers for you? Absolutely. 0:23:37.390 --> 0:23:41.790 Had some very, very godly grandparents, and although we didn't 0:23:41.790 --> 0:23:46.270 live close in other countries, I knew that they prayed 0:23:46.270 --> 0:23:48.790 for us and they let me know often. Hey, we're 0:23:48.790 --> 0:23:49.790 praying for you. 0:23:49.830 --> 0:23:52.350 Yeah. So if your grandkids aren't close at hand, you 0:23:52.350 --> 0:23:56.109 still have a ministry with them 100%. Wonderful. Thank you. Mark. 0:23:56.150 --> 0:23:58.790 And before we go today, let me remind you that 0:23:58.790 --> 0:24:01.239 we have a variety of bold resources and tools to 0:24:01.240 --> 0:24:03.520 help you experience the power and presence of God in 0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:06.480 your life each day. And right now, we're currently offering 0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:08.600 a book that may lend a whole new perspective to 0:24:08.640 --> 0:24:11.479 a battle you didn't even know you're facing. It's a 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:15.160 book by author and pastor Mike Fabares, and it's titled envy. 0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:19.119 In a world of social media and constant comparison, the 0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:22.440 temptation of envy has never been more prevalent. That's why 0:24:22.440 --> 0:24:25.240 pastor Mike of Focal Point Ministries took time to write 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:29.120 an entire book about the unique issue of envy, specifically 0:24:29.119 --> 0:24:33.400 how to identify this destructive emotion and find freedom through Christ. 0:24:33.800 --> 0:24:36.960 Pastor Mike Fabares makes some great distinctions on where this 0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:39.400 sin often creeps into our lives, and what we can 0:24:39.400 --> 0:24:43.120 do today to start living with authentic joy. The book 0:24:43.119 --> 0:24:45.520 is titled envy A Big Problem You Didn't Know You 0:24:45.520 --> 0:24:47.760 Had and a copy is yours is our way of 0:24:47.760 --> 0:24:50.520 saying thanks for your gift of any amount to support 0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:53.439 bold steps to give a donation today, just give us 0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:58.600 a call. The number is 800. D.L. Moody that's 803 0:24:58.600 --> 0:25:05.880 3566639 or give online at Bold Steps. And please remember, 0:25:05.880 --> 0:25:08.760 it's because of the generous partnership with listeners like you 0:25:08.760 --> 0:25:12.560 that we can offer these daily messages and regular, bold resources. 0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:14.919 So if you'd like to partner with us this year 0:25:14.920 --> 0:25:17.800 and sign up for Monthly giving, today is a great 0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:20.480 time to join the team. Just go to our website. 0:25:21.240 --> 0:25:23.879 Org to learn more about the impact of this special 0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:28.600 partnership and some unique bonuses you'll receive in return. I'm 0:25:28.600 --> 0:25:30.679 Wayne Shepherd on behalf of Mark Jobe and the entire 0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:34.160 Bold Steps team. Have a wonderful and relaxing weekend and 0:25:34.160 --> 0:25:35.960 be sure to join us again next week when Mark 0:25:35.960 --> 0:25:38.600 shows us how we can win the spiritual battles we're 0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:41.879 dealing with in our daily lives. That's coming up Monday 0:25:41.880 --> 0:25:46.679 right here on Bold Steps with Mark Jobe. Bold steps 0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:49.480 is a production of Moody Radio, a ministry of Moody 0:25:49.480 --> 0:25:50.600 Bible Institute.