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Speaker 1: Around this time every Friday, Chasta, we try to open

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Speaker 1: up our phone lines and take a look at politics

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Speaker 1: from the very top, and so so the White House

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Speaker 1: we go. We're standing by on our newsmaker line is

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Speaker 1: the President of the United States, Donald Trump. Good morning, sir.

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Speaker 2: Yes, good morning, Lamont, and hello to the beautiful Chasta. Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's your strong leader, President Donald J. Trump.

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Speaker 3: Well, hello, sir, how are you today?

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Speaker 2: I'm good, but I've got some breaking news for you. Okay,

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Speaker 2: breaking right now. Chuck Norris has just passed away.

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Speaker 3: Chuck, Chuck Norris passed away.

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Speaker 2: Chuck Norris passed at the age of eighty six.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying Chasta had anything to do with this,

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Speaker 2: but I'm going to get the DOJ working on it.

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Speaker 3: The Jays work.

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Speaker 2: They've got nothing else to investigate, so why not do this?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they've got nothing right now?

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Speaker 2: Huh Wow, Port, Chuck, Port Chuck. If Chuck would have

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Speaker 2: just followed my advice, uh huh and listened to RFK

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Speaker 2: Junior's workout regimen, it could have been. It could have

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Speaker 2: been working out with Kid Rock. You gotta work out

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Speaker 2: with no shirt and jeans. That's what you gotta do.

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Speaker 1: And you feel that this would have helped Chuck Norris

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Speaker 1: and you would have survived.

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Speaker 2: Would have extended his life.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh believe me, well, that is unbelievable. You are unbelievable, sir.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe with him.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh, yes, I can't.

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Speaker 2: Guess is not saying anything though, that's very suspicious.

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Speaker 4: I'm just trying to slink away because I know where

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Speaker 4: this is headed.

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Speaker 3: You know it's time.

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Speaker 2: Well, anyway, I'm fixing America's problems one French fry at

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Speaker 2: a time. That's all I can say.

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Speaker 3: That's what you're doing, Yes, one French fry at a time.

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Speaker 2: And I just want to use this opportunity to announce

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Speaker 2: to the beautiful boneheads that I'm going to be doing

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Speaker 2: something very special for Women's History Month. Oh wow, the

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Speaker 2: month is almost over, but I'm going to do something

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Speaker 2: very special.

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Speaker 1: Well I'm almost afraid to ask, but what will you

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Speaker 1: be doing?

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Speaker 4: Sir?

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Speaker 2: I will be designating March twenty third, that's this Monday,

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Speaker 2: this coming Monday. Put it on your calendars. I'm designating

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Speaker 2: March twenty third, Sydney Sweeney's Breast Day.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I know that's quite a mouthful. Yes, Sydney Sweeney

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Speaker 2: Sweeney's breast day. Okay, yes, so, Chansta, I don't want

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Speaker 2: to hear you say I don't do enough for women. Okay,

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, I am mister woman champion.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's not the truth.

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Speaker 2: Yes, just like that bing bang boom, a whole day

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Speaker 2: dedicated to Sydney Sweeney's breast.

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Speaker 1: Now, before we start here, I just want to say

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Speaker 1: happy birthday to your son, Baron.

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Speaker 3: It's his birthday, is that correct?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Oh, he's an amazing son. If I'm being honest,

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Speaker 2: I feel like he's my best friend. Frankly, really, I

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Speaker 2: feel like I know him better than anyone, uh huh.

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Speaker 2: And I truly hope all his wishes come true for

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Speaker 2: his fifteenth.

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Speaker 3: Birthday, Sir, I think he turned twenty today. Who knew?

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Speaker 4: Okay, we'll change topics here, okay, So we need to

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Speaker 4: chat about something that happened with your meeting with Japan's

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Speaker 4: Prime Minister in the Oval Office yesterday. It's the talk

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Speaker 4: around town, if you will. When a reporter asked why

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Speaker 4: Japan wasn't given a heads up about the US strike

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Speaker 4: on Iran, you joked, and I want to make sure

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Speaker 4: I get this right.

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Speaker 3: So I'm gonna quote it word for word.

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Speaker 4: We didn't tell anybody because we wanted surprise. Who knows

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Speaker 4: better about surprise than Japan. Why didn't you tell me

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Speaker 4: about Pearl Harbor? How did that land in the room?

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Speaker 2: Very well? It was very well received, A beautiful it

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Speaker 2: was a beautiful complex joke because I said it during

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Speaker 2: the weave. I did the weave that then did the joke. Yes,

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Speaker 2: And there was a lot of silent lamps.

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Speaker 3: Silence.

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Speaker 2: That's called see chest. I don't know if you've been

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Speaker 2: to a comedy club, but that's called doing crowd work.

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Speaker 2: Crowd work. Comedians call it crowd work.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But you know, I always felt that that was the

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Speaker 2: primary reason for studying history, so you can make incredible.

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Speaker 3: Jokes like this right right.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, I love Japan's Prime minister. He's

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Speaker 2: the first female leader. Did you know that?

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Speaker 3: Uh huh?

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Speaker 2: I respect that. I only called her sense once, just once?

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, the silent jokes, silent laughs. Let's move on, sir.

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Speaker 1: We've called on other countries and allies to send their

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Speaker 1: warships in a coalition to secure the Strait of harr Moves,

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Speaker 1: where Iran is attacking oil tankers.

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Speaker 3: Now, do you think your plan will work?

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Speaker 2: Yes, it will. It's the first military strategy that sounds

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Speaker 2: like splitting the check at brunch. It's a tremendously diplomatic

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Speaker 2: way of saying, can everyonevenmos a battleship please?

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Speaker 3: So that's what this plan is.

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Speaker 2: Ah. Yes, The good news is I've heard that many

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Speaker 2: countries have already signed on to this.

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Speaker 3: Oh really, like who?

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Speaker 2: Yes, we have Yugoslavia, brought Worst and Cornucopia to name

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Speaker 2: a few.

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Speaker 3: Those aren't actual countries, sir.

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Speaker 2: Whatever, the point is that Iran tries to destroy one

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Speaker 2: more vessel, h I will personally sue them for a

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Speaker 2: kafilion dollars how much? Wow, that's a unit of measure

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Speaker 2: that you can't even figure out. It's so high.

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Speaker 3: A billion the kafilion.

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Speaker 2: Okay, And when this is over, I will officially rename

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Speaker 2: the Strait of horm moves to.

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Speaker 3: Just hormos hormos okay.

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Speaker 2: Because there's no need to announce that it's straight. There's

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Speaker 2: no gay of hormones. We don't need to differentiate it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, they don't need DEI over there.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if you saw this story, sir,

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Speaker 1: but Iranian state media is calling for a fire festival,

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Speaker 1: which is a symbolic protest by burning figures of you

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Speaker 1: and the Israeli Prime minister.

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Speaker 3: Now what do you think of that fire festival?

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Speaker 2: No? The only thing that truly upsets me about this

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Speaker 2: and I don't think they're taking the time to make

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Speaker 2: sure my effigy looks thinner. You know that?

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Speaker 3: Really?

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Speaker 2: Can you Iranian extremists make sure that that doesn't happen?

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Speaker 3: Uh huh.

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Speaker 2: Let's open at least has big hands and good hair,

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Speaker 2: all right.

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Speaker 1: Also, late last week, you said that you're not ready

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Speaker 1: to make a deal to end the war with Iran

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Speaker 1: due to unfavorable terms.

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Speaker 3: Now, how is that going? Any progress on a peace deal?

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Speaker 2: Sir? Well, yes, kind of, kind of. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: you know, ask me again next week.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: All I know is that our stockpile of bombs is

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Speaker 2: a lot bigger than their stockpile of supreme leaders.

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Speaker 3: Uh huh.

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Speaker 2: I mean we could do this all day and we will.

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Speaker 1: Well, I sure hope something is done soon or we

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Speaker 1: may be looking at one hundred and fifty dollars for

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Speaker 1: a barrel of oil.

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Speaker 3: Sir.

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Speaker 2: Now, don't you worry, lemon, You cheap bastard. Okay, and

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Speaker 2: don't worry, boneheads. Uh huh, you don't need to worry

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Speaker 2: because your president has a really Since nothing can really

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Speaker 2: be done about the expense of oil, I negotiated cheaper

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Speaker 2: barrels that hold the oil. I got a discount on barrels. Huh. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you're welcome. Now the barrels of oil will be cheaper.

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Speaker 3: Now, sir.

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Speaker 1: I think an American citizen born in California. Sir, his

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Speaker 1: name is Juan Carlos Valencia Gonzalez.

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Speaker 2: Is that sound like he was born in California.

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Speaker 1: Is now in charge of Mexico's most powerful drug cartel.

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Speaker 3: What are your thoughts on this development?

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Speaker 2: Well, on the bright side, it's sprinkly a refreshing change

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Speaker 2: for MAGA supporters to hear about an American taking a

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Speaker 2: job away from a Mexican.

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Speaker 1: Oh, oh god, but not gonna lie.

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Speaker 2: It's getting ugly down there, very ugly.

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Speaker 3: Yes, But enough about.

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Speaker 2: Nancy Pelosi's private part. Okay, sir.

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Speaker 3: Are you excited about March madness?

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Speaker 2: Sir?

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Speaker 3: Do you have any picks for basketball?

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Speaker 2: Of course I do, Lamont. We even have an office

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Speaker 2: pool going on here at mar.

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Speaker 3: Lago with you really.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I just told the front desk concierge that

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Speaker 2: she can expect to see Gonzaga driving to the hole,

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Speaker 2: repeatedly rawel like Gonzaga.

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Speaker 3: Gonzaga.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, my Gonzaga is going to drive the hole,

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Speaker 2: and she called hr on me.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Oh luckily we got that straightened out. And by straightened out,

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Speaker 2: I mean I fired her. Oh I owned this place.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, Well, on that note, we're getting to wrap

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Speaker 1: up side. Thanks for coming on the Newsmaker Line to

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Speaker 1: talk with us, sir.

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Speaker 2: You're very welcome, gang. And before I go, lamont a

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Speaker 2: big salute and thank you to our unpaid TSA agents

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Speaker 2: hanging in there and continuing to show up at our

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Speaker 2: nation's busiest airports to grow people for free.

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Speaker 3: Right, true heroes, true heroes in your mind. All right, well,

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Speaker 3: thank you for going on the air with us, sir,

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Speaker 3: with the Newsmaker Line today.

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Speaker 2: My pleasure. Just the d O J will be in the.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure they will, I expected at any moment.

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Speaker 3: Dorris Bord Chuck Norris