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Speaker 1: We are just living in such weird times.

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Speaker 2: I mean, never in my life did I think i'd

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Speaker 2: seen news items like with the President going to Graceland.

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Speaker 2: Did you see the story where I guess Trump. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: after viewing Elvis Presley's collection of karate black belts when

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Speaker 2: he went through Graceland, President Trump wondered aloud if he

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Speaker 2: could take Elvis in a fight the black belt, And

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Speaker 2: of course that made news and the statement went viral.

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Speaker 2: So today, Chast, we have a very special Newsmaker line

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Speaker 2: because I want to talk to someone in rock and

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Speaker 2: roll Heaven today, and this is of course a news exclusive.

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Speaker 2: I want to let's let's let's try to summon up

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Speaker 2: the spirit of the King of rock.

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Speaker 1: And roll in rock and roll Heaven.

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Speaker 2: Okay, there we go, let's get it going here, King Elvis, Elvis.

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Speaker 1: It's Lamontory. Are you there, Elvis? Hey, Hey there, Lamarty, Yes, Elvis,

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Speaker 1: how are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm doing? Good man? What's shaking? Chess up? Boy? Yes,

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Speaker 3: I'll tell you what. You give me A big old

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Speaker 3: manner in my pants. Baby? Whoa?

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Speaker 4: You could have been a replacement for I'm telling you, yes, absolutely,

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Speaker 4: Elvis likes you chest up there, and I guess, so

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Speaker 4: I'm honored, I think, uh well.

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Speaker 3: On a professional note chest, I gotta tell you something, sweetheart.

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Speaker 3: I've been listening here in heaven and your voice is

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Speaker 3: so addicted. It's like a drug.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 3: This drug doesn't back me up on my heavenly throne

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Speaker 3: like the ludes do. Man. I guess yeah, all right,

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Speaker 3: let's get this interview started. Okay, one full of money,

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Speaker 3: two for the show, free to get ready, So let's go,

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Speaker 3: go go Elvis.

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Speaker 1: I like that, so I'll go ahead and kick this off.

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Speaker 2: As we mentioned, President Trump wondered aloud if he could

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Speaker 2: take you in a fight.

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Speaker 1: Now, what do you think of that statement?

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Speaker 3: Well, not gonna lie, Lamont. At first, when I heard this,

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Speaker 3: I was so angry. I gave Chuck Norris a roundhouse

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Speaker 3: kick and a heavenly karate chop to the crop. Sure yeah,

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Speaker 3: but I call him down, thankfully, and Chuck and I

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Speaker 3: made up complimented him on his amazing blonde wig. Thank

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Speaker 3: you very much.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's a blonde wig he's wearing that.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know blonde wig? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah?

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Speaker 3: What what troupes that are fighting words? Baby o? Hey,

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Speaker 3: Let's make no mistake about it, and if he doesn't apologize,

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Speaker 3: my ghosts just might float down there and give him

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Speaker 3: a kick of those saggy balls and big old mushroom

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Speaker 3: my head.

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Speaker 1: Is that right?

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Speaker 3: Wow? Heavenly karate chop to the grundle, Pure.

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Speaker 2: Heavenly karate chop to the grundle. Chasta, this is alvas.

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Speaker 2: You are so violent up there in rock and roll heaven.

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Speaker 1: You're really so joke baby, Yes, I mean it so.

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Speaker 2: I guess you're pretty confident that you could easily take

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Speaker 2: the president in a fight.

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Speaker 1: That's what you're saying, you.

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Speaker 3: See, Lamart. Most people still don't realize my corrupt skills

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Speaker 3: run deep. Yes, yeah, I'm talking deeper than the colonel's sister. Baby. Whoa,

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Speaker 3: that's deed, that's deep chest.

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Speaker 2: She must have been very deep in her thoughts. That's

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Speaker 2: the way I'm thinking that.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I understand.

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Speaker 3: How what you will, But I will admit he's much

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Speaker 3: better at multitasking on the turlet.

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Speaker 1: Oh is that right? Yeah? He is.

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Speaker 3: He's down there ripping out social media post while dropping

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Speaker 3: a deuce betwixt his cheeks, and I could barely push

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Speaker 3: without having a heart attack.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's true.

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Speaker 2: You were known to struggle on the turlet, but.

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Speaker 3: Lamont checked this out. Then, yeah, chest to Darling, I'm

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Speaker 3: about to rock your world and boost your ratings. Baby,

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Speaker 3: Oh is that right?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, I get you.

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Speaker 3: A heavenly email of a song I wrote about Trump

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Speaker 3: trying to fight me.

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Speaker 1: Oh what?

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Speaker 3: Oh whoa?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the guy who invented emails up here, man, he

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Speaker 3: helped me with this.

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Speaker 1: Oh is that right? Really? Well?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I want you to play this song for

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Speaker 3: the audience. It's called beat him Up. Uh huh, so

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Speaker 3: loaded into your system and then let her rip potato chip.

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, Elvis, we are trying something new here, playing

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Speaker 2: a song that was sent to us from rock and

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Speaker 2: roll heaven on an email system.

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Speaker 1: Some technology right here.

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Speaker 2: The corporate engineers are really freaking out right now. I

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Speaker 2: hope we can get this going.

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Speaker 3: Chasta is not to be offensive, but this is a

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Speaker 3: little bit over their heads.

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Speaker 1: Man, Yes, absolutely, is this showing up? Is this showing

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Speaker 1: up in your email? Do you see it? Okay? Can

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Speaker 1: we can? We can we play this in the system,

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Speaker 1: all right?

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Speaker 3: Supernatural transmission? Baby?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well, Elvis, there we go. We're gonna let this

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Speaker 2: rip a world premiere from Rock and Roll. I have

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Speaker 2: and what's the name of the song, Elvis?

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Speaker 3: It's called beat him Up?

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Speaker 1: Beat them Up? Okay, here we go, Oh, brand new

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Speaker 1: world premiere.

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Speaker 5: Oh well the President is it threatening me?

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Speaker 1: Doesn't he know?

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Speaker 3: Wh I know? Karate?

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Speaker 5: I ain't no Lucy yet, I ain't no jump Donald Trump.

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Speaker 1: I'll beat him up, damn.

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Speaker 5: Although I died of fifty years ago. I'll come down

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Speaker 5: from heaven as an Elvis ghost. And then that suckers

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Speaker 5: getting sucker punch Donald Trump.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Oh, eat him up, He'll be eating him up. Wow, Elvis.

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Speaker 1: I want to that.

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Speaker 2: That is incredible world premiere here from Elvis. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say one thing.

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Speaker 3: The production pretty good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the production skills up there rocks in raw heaven. Wow.

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Speaker 1: What a studio up there.

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Speaker 3: What a crew hook we got. We got Phil Specker

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Speaker 3: up here, Man to help you wear that crazy wig.

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Speaker 1: He's wearing a way too. Wow.

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Speaker 3: He's a crazy song a bit. He likes shooting guns

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Speaker 3: just like me. Man.

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Speaker 2: He was shooting guns in the studio recording with Phil Spector.

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Speaker 3: We shot out. We shot out a couple of TVs

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Speaker 3: while recording that song.

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Speaker 2: Man and No those are flat screen TVs now too,

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Speaker 2: they're not the big.

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Speaker 3: Old TVs right right, right.

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Speaker 1: Right right. Well, I'll tell you what that was. That

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Speaker 1: was pretty cool.

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Speaker 3: Yes, hearing that plate on the bone is real cool too.

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Speaker 3: That just made my little Elvis sticker and more bloated

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Speaker 3: than my face.

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Speaker 2: Baby, Oh god, wow, oh yeah wow.

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Speaker 3: Nothing better than writing songs high on ludes up here

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Speaker 3: in rock and roll Heaven. I'll tell you.

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Speaker 2: Well, now that aside from aside from President Trump telling

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Speaker 2: us he could probably beat you up in a fight,

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Speaker 2: what did you think of the President touring your former

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Speaker 2: home Graceland?

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Speaker 3: You? Honestly, I loved it, baby, uh huh. I mean,

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Speaker 3: after all, he's the leader of the free world. Yes,

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Speaker 3: And when you think about it, we both kind of

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Speaker 3: have the same wacky taste for gold designs, so I'm

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Speaker 3: sure he probably left with at least three ideas for

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Speaker 3: curtain upgrades in marl l Ago. You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: He was stealing ideas from you, Elvis.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And you know what else we have in common

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Speaker 3: besides a horrible taste and deco.

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Speaker 1: I'm almost afraid to ask, what do you guys have

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Speaker 1: in common?

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Speaker 3: We both had our hot daughter's marry weird pasty white guys. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I had Lisa Marie with Michael Jackson and Amanca with

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Speaker 3: Jared Kushner. Right right, crazy enough. Speaking of Michael Jackson,

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Speaker 3: I haven't seen him in Heaven yet. I wonder where

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Speaker 3: he is.

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Speaker 1: He's been complaining that the air conditioning wasn't working.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty hot where he's at.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Then again, he's had some gross allegations of molestation. I'm

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Speaker 3: talking grosser than the smell of my fingers after I'd

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Speaker 3: played butterfly Roulette with the groupies.

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Speaker 1: Man's pretty damn gress. That is karate top that one?

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Speaker 2: All right, King, Well, final question here, because I'm I've

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Speaker 2: always wanted to know this. What do you think of

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Speaker 2: the tens of millions of dollars that had been made

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Speaker 2: off of your legacy? Is it weird to think that

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Speaker 2: you'll never see a dime of that money?

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Speaker 3: Oh man, coming from you? That's another deep question. It

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Speaker 3: is I'm talking deeper than the Colonel's other sister. But

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Speaker 3: that's life, man, that is life. Yes, I'm actually glad

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Speaker 3: I never had access to it. Lamont, Really, you know

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Speaker 3: how much ludes and oxy I would have bought with that.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, holy rooster, I would have blown that through that quickly.

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Speaker 3: I'm just like blowing it like it was the Colonel's

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Speaker 3: sister after one glass of champagne?

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Speaker 1: Is that right?

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Speaker 2: We holy roosters on that one. On that note, we're

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Speaker 2: getting the wrap up side from Jasta. She's telling us

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Speaker 2: that this connection to rock and roll Heaven is costing

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Speaker 2: us a fortune. So so I'm gonna have to uh

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Speaker 2: call this quits here chat.

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Speaker 3: Pass the savings onto you man.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well all right, well so thanks for connecting from

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Speaker 2: rock and roll Heaven, Elvis.

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Speaker 3: No problem. I gotta go take another heavenly dump man.

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Speaker 2: A lot of time of that dumpster, don't you.

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Speaker 3: The toilet is just you know, it's a part of me.

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Speaker 1: Man, It's a part of you. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And it's worth noting I only hit the crapper with

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Speaker 3: a spotter. Now. You've always got to have a spotter.

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Speaker 1: Folks, spotter with you.

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Speaker 3: Now, Okay, I'm out of here, all right. Elvis is

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Speaker 3: now leaving the building.

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Speaker 1: All right, Why, okay, there there we go.

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Speaker 3: Uh, thank you, thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: Oh there, and we even have the sound that he is.

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Speaker 1: You've given that golden turlet up there in Heaven.

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Speaker 2: Work, it sure is, and he's recording that with Phil

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Speaker 2: Spector shooting off guns in the meantime like a special

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Speaker 2: part of rock and roll Heaven that you can have

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Speaker 2: language like what's happening there, that's a wild it's happened

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Speaker 2: child Stuf goes in rock and roll Avenue.

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Speaker 1: I guess, I guess.