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Speaker 1: Phones are just going off the hook this morning. Let's

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Speaker 1: just go to the phone lines.

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Speaker 2: You're on the air. Who's this? This is Wally. Hey, Wally,

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Speaker 2: what's up?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: I need your help.

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Speaker 3: I'm tired of my wife not giving it up and

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Speaker 3: I want to get sex.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Wally, how long has it been that you've had sex?

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Speaker 1: Or months?

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Speaker 3: In county?

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Speaker 2: Hold it? Did you just say? Four months?

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Speaker 1: Yep?

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Speaker 3: And she always has an excuse and I'm tired of it.

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Speaker 2: Here's the deal.

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Speaker 3: I brought it up to her before, and she said,

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Speaker 3: I'm being ridiculous. All she wants to do is watch

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Speaker 3: these damn crime shows like Law and Order and stuff

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Speaker 3: like that. I've even had sex with her while she's

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Speaker 3: watching these corpses on TV.

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Speaker 1: Hollly, Wally, So she's watching dead people and you're having

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Speaker 1: sex with her.

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Speaker 3: I told her we need to go to counseling, and

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Speaker 3: she says, I'm being too sensitive and to stop whining.

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Speaker 2: Wally.

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Speaker 1: She's accusing you of whining because you want sex.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and look, I just want sex for my wife.

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Speaker 2: Is that asking too much?

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Speaker 1: No, it's not damn it, Wally. We're here, We're gonna man, you.

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Speaker 2: Get some Thank you. I knew I was calling the

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Speaker 2: right guy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you hold on. I need to get some of

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Speaker 1: the info from you. Okay, Okay, you got it, Wally.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna try and get you laid. Thank you, You're welcome.

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Speaker 4: So poor Wally, he sounds like such a charmer. I

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Speaker 4: don't know how she like.

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Speaker 1: It's been so long. I don't care how non charming

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Speaker 1: he is. That she should put out at least once

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Speaker 1: every four months.

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Speaker 2: Right, I said he is charming.

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Speaker 4: I clearly meant that there's no sarcasm there at all.

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Speaker 1: We have Wally on the air with us. Wally, are

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Speaker 1: you still there?

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Speaker 2: I am here.

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Speaker 1: You called a few moments ago because you're tired of

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Speaker 1: your wife not giving you sex.

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Speaker 2: She's not putting out for you.

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Speaker 3: That's right, man, I'm tired of her holding out on me.

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Speaker 2: And you said, it's been how long? Four months?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I know it's been four months, Wally. Why are you

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Speaker 2: so certain it's been four months?

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Speaker 3: Because my nuts are as big as beach balls right now, Pally,

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Speaker 3: I think you might.

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Speaker 2: Be my new favorite listener.

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Speaker 1: So you've tried to get a little something something from her,

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Speaker 1: and she keeps shooting you down.

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Speaker 3: Not only does she she turn me down. She doesn't care.

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Speaker 1: I told her.

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Speaker 3: Last year we need to go to counseling. She said no,

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Speaker 3: so I do her myself.

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Speaker 2: Oh that Wally. Are you going to counseling yourself?

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Speaker 3: I do so.

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Speaker 1: Going to counseling is kind of like your sex life.

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Speaker 1: You're doing it yourself.

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Speaker 3: Me, Me and Rosie Baum and a five sisters.

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Speaker 2: Wally, you are the best. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So, in all seriousness, she just flat turns you down

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Speaker 1: when you want sex.

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Speaker 3: Yep. And I'm hoping that you can persuade her to

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Speaker 3: give it up.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well let's give her a call. Thank you, and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put you on hold until we get her

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Speaker 1: on the air. Okay, Wally, no problem, I'm here all right.

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Speaker 1: Good Hey Chassis. You think she's going to give it up?

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Speaker 4: Nope, definitely not.

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Speaker 2: Hello. Hi is this Maria?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Yes it is. Hi'm Maria.

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Speaker 1: This is the Lamont Show and we have a great

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Speaker 1: contest going on right now.

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Speaker 2: Can we get you on the.

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Speaker 5: Radio the radia? Am I going to get lucking?

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Speaker 1: Well that's the goal, but you have to tell me

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Speaker 1: yes so I can get you on the air. Well yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: so we have your husband Wally on the other line,

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Speaker 1: and he nominated you as a contestant.

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Speaker 2: This game is called Let's make whoopee.

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Speaker 5: Okay, and your answers have to match his answers. Oh okay, So, Maria,

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Speaker 5: can you tell us the last time you and Wally

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Speaker 5: bumped uglies?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 1: When's the last time the two of you knocked boots

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Speaker 1: had marital relations?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Gode uh nagalai.

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Speaker 3: It's been a while.

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Speaker 2: Uh maybe six weeks.

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Speaker 1: So okay, that's not the answer Wally gave us. Wally,

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Speaker 1: she said, it's been six weeks.

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Speaker 3: She's foolish. It's been four months. I've been telling you

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Speaker 3: exactly what happened.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you're so stupid.

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Speaker 3: No, No, I'm tired of not getting any sex.

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Speaker 2: Wally. Are you sure it's been four months? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I beg for it for two months, and she finally

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Speaker 3: gave in and lied there stiff as a board, watching

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Speaker 3: a crime show about corpses and told me to hurry

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Speaker 3: up and finish so she could watch TV. Well, sometimes

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Speaker 3: if you take too long. Did you know what time

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Speaker 3: of this? It's been four months and I want sex? Oh? My,

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Speaker 3: you this a ridiculous No, it's ridiculous that you don't

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Speaker 3: give me anything, and you won't even go to counseling

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Speaker 3: with me.

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Speaker 4: Did your counselor tell you a call a radio station?

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Speaker 2: No, that was my idea.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Wally, I understand why you're pissed off, but just

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Speaker 1: settle down. I can't get that language on the air, Maria.

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Speaker 1: They call me the love doctor here, Maria. Can you

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Speaker 1: give Wally something before he explodes? And I'm begging you

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Speaker 1: on his behalf? Can you give him something something tonight? Please?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 3: Well, as long as he doesn't take all night. I

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Speaker 3: mean with the foreplay and oh my god, it's endless

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Speaker 3: all right?

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Speaker 1: So I just want to confirm tonight you will give

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Speaker 1: your husband sex?

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Speaker 2: Sure, if it'll shut him up.

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Speaker 1: Excellent, Wally, tonight you've got sex from your wife.

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Speaker 3: Oh I want to know when I've fallen from.

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Speaker 1: Before Murray, he wants to know when you're giving him sex.

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Speaker 4: Goodnight, as long as it doesn't take all night.

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Speaker 2: You ever heard of a quickie for God's sake?

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Speaker 1: Well, hey, it's been four months for this poor guy.

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Speaker 1: I'm surprised it will last four minutes?

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Speaker 2: Right, Okay?

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Speaker 3: Can I go now?

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Speaker 2: I gotta go? Okay? Sure? So thanks, for going on

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Speaker 2: the air with us.

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Speaker 5: Oh lord, bye, Wally, dude, we got.

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Speaker 3: It, Lamar, I owe you, thank you.

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Speaker 1: No problem, have fun tonight. Thank you, and don't take

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Speaker 1: too long.

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Speaker 3: I don't think that will be a problem.

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Speaker 2: All right, takes going on the air, Thank you, all.

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Speaker 4: Right, No longer locking it, Wally, Here.

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Speaker 1: We go, Casta. Let me tell you this. You had

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Speaker 1: doubts about my ability, but I'm telling you.

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Speaker 4: I had serious doubts. But I mean that sounds like

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Speaker 4: a real rendezvous that I have.

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Speaker 2: Get an overware.

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Speaker 1: No more for play. Just give me a quickie. For

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Speaker 1: God's sakes, that's what he's gonna give her. Esa he

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Speaker 1: the love doctor strikes again. Wally, I guess and his

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Speaker 1: wife Maria, after four months, are going to have sex.

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Speaker 1: This is what it's all about, justa It's about love.