S1: Welcome back to Building Billions. This is what I learned
S1: in April. I love doing these. It gives me a
S1: moment to, like, look back and really think about the
S1: lessons that I learned. And I did a cool thing
S1: this month. I wrote down the lessons as I was
S1: learning them in the past of like spent a little
S1: time going back through my meetings and my days and
S1: just things that made pivots for me. But this time
S1: I'm like, I'm writing this down as it's happening. So
S1: I got some good ones. April was a big, huge,
S1: massive month for me. I turned 30 years old in
S1: April and with that came a lot of reflection, a
S1: lot of planning, a lot of reassessing. And so let's
S1: just dive into this first lesson of April. This is
S1: not in chronological order. This is also not an order
S1: of importance. This is just what I wanted to start with.
S1: Motivation is your responsibility. Nobody is responsible for your motivation
S1: or for your lack of motivation. I was on a
S1: call with a business owner a few days ago, like
S1: at the tail end of April. A lot of epiphanies
S1: happen at the tail end of April, and the business
S1: owner was essentially telling me that it was my fault
S1: that another business owner wasn't motivated due to their comp plan.
S1: And I paused and I listened and it's like, wait
S1: a second. That person's motivation is not my responsibility. That
S1: person should be motivated for whatever reasons, drive them. And
S1: there could be a plethora of reasons when your business owner,
S1: when you're trying to achieve something. You you take what
S1: you have and you use it to motivate you. If
S1: you're frustrated, if you're insecure, if you're feeling self-doubt, if
S1: you want to help a billion people and impact the world,
S1: whatever it is that is important to you, you can
S1: use that to create motivation. But it is not your
S1: responsibility to create motivation for someone else. That has to
S1: be an individualized choice. Sure. Can you be a great example?
S1: Of course you can. But you can't motivate them. And
S1: any structure, any creation that you might have that inspires them. Fantastic.
S1: You're doing your part for the world. I know that
S1: I oftentimes whenever I want to act in a way
S1: that I know would not be inspirational and would be
S1: petty and would be just like the not good decision,
S1: but the decision that I feel like making, I think
S1: to myself, man, what if 20 year old Natalie was
S1: watching me? Like, would she be inspired by this? Or
S1: would she think like, you, why are you acting like this?
S1: And that in of itself is motivation for me to
S1: change my behavior. So I use 20 year old Natalie.
S1: Or if my employees saw me make this decision or
S1: if I was on Instagram live making this decision, how
S1: would I make the decision? And it always grounds me
S1: and centers me to say, okay, I'm going to I'm
S1: going to make it in this direction. So if you
S1: feel like there are people, maybe it's your sales team,
S1: maybe it's a business partner, maybe it's your significant other
S1: and you are bearing the weight of their motivation that
S1: is not on you, that is on them. And you
S1: can help them find those things. You can do what
S1: what it might take to to guide them along the
S1: path to be a source of inspiration. But ultimately, it
S1: is not on you to motivate anybody but yourself. Number two.
S1: The week of my birthday. I won't talk about this
S1: too much right now. Might be fun to share in
S1: the future. Accrued some content during it so that I
S1: could share the future. But the week of my birthday
S1: from a business standpoint was really a shit show. There
S1: was just a lot of different moving parts, a lot
S1: of bad news. And one of the mornings I remember
S1: I said, I don't cry, especially like in public. One
S1: of the mornings I think it was the morning of
S1: Noah's morning, my birthday morning before my birthday. It was
S1: some really bad news. I started bawling just like it
S1: was just a shit week and we were flying up
S1: to New York for the Vogue event and meeting Sarah
S1: Jessica Parker and Gigi Hadid, which, if you haven't checked
S1: out that episode, you totally should. But I was on
S1: the flight and just like, irritated. Like, why does this
S1: shit have to happen on this milestone that has been
S1: really important to me. And I. I don't get in
S1: bad moods very often. I really don't. But in that moment,
S1: I could feel like I was getting myself in a
S1: bad mood. I was very negative. And then it dawned
S1: on me. I was like, Wait a second, this is
S1: a moment versus my life. A moment versus my life
S1: When I assess the moment. The moment fucking sucks, the
S1: moment shitty, the moment there's uncertainty and there's doubt and
S1: there's frustration and there's anger. The moment is filled with
S1: all of these emotions. But. Where's that hit? Like, let's
S1: take a step back and assess the life. I'm so
S1: proud of the work that I've put in to build
S1: the life that I have with Brandon, with our businesses,
S1: with our partners, with our team. Like, I'm I can't
S1: even believe the life that I have today. Funny enough,
S1: I'm back in New York. I have a really cool
S1: event that I'm here for and I remember so vividly
S1: it was 2017 and we were here in New York
S1: with some previous business partners and it was for a meeting,
S1: but I wasn't really involved in the meeting. I wasn't
S1: invited to the meeting. I wasn't a participant. Like I
S1: didn't actively work in that business at that time, and
S1: I just felt shitty about myself. I remember being in
S1: my hotel room the majority of the time because I
S1: didn't have any appointments there. There's so many big things
S1: and exciting events and stuff going on in New York
S1: City and I. So clearly. Remember telling Brandon, I want
S1: to build a life where we have things to do
S1: here that are meaningful and are important and where we're needed.
S1: And I it was a turning point moment for me.
S1: And so now to be here, I have an interview
S1: and just like I probably got to leave actually in
S1: like the next ten minutes, I have an interview today.
S1: A dream friggin bucket list item of my life with Chanel.
S1: There's an event tonight and a couple of meetings throughout
S1: the day here, and I'm just I took a shower
S1: this morning and I was like, Holy shit, this is
S1: my life. This is a life that I dreamed of.
S1: This is the life that I've always wanted. This is
S1: and it's it's going to get even better because there's
S1: now new levels to this life that I want. But.
S1: In the moment when I was so frustrated a few
S1: weeks ago to change the mood, I just really had
S1: to remind myself, Natalie, you love your life. This moment
S1: is going to pass. You're going to be able to
S1: tell the story in three years from now or five
S1: years from now about all of the change. Because right
S1: now I'm in a season where it just doesn't feel
S1: like there's progress. It just feels hard and it feels
S1: tough and it just it feels kind of icky. And
S1: I know that it's going to pop to another level,
S1: but the pop hasn't happened, and it's probably going to
S1: be a deferred pop. It's probably going to pop in
S1: like a year and a half like this. It's it's
S1: going to take time. It's not an overnight thing. But recognizing, man,
S1: when you're having a moment that feels shitty. Maybe your
S1: life doesn't feel great right now and maybe you need
S1: that moment to reset. My life did not feel great
S1: when I was in the hotel room almost seven years ago.
S1: Really low on myself. So then you have to take
S1: the steps in order to make the changes, to create
S1: the life that you want. But if you can separate
S1: the life and the moment, it's not a resting on
S1: your laurels thing, it's not like, Oh, I'm just going
S1: to be happy. However, sometimes it's just the moment sucks
S1: and it's okay at the moment sucks and it's okay
S1: that it's hard. Okay. Can you handle hard? Totally. I
S1: can handle hard. I know you can handle hard. So compartmentalize.
S1: It's the moment versus this is the life you're building.
S1: And as long as you're proud of the life that
S1: you're building, who you're spending your time with, where you're going,
S1: where your energy is spent, you good? You good. This
S1: next one came from the one, the only Alana Cardon.
S1: I was talking with her about a handful of things
S1: that are going on and really seeking advice in communication.
S1: And she said to me, one of the greatest things
S1: that she's learned to do that's really transformed her communication
S1: is not handling the situation or the problems that somebody's
S1: saying or like the tax that you feel like you
S1: have to be then like defensive of because of the
S1: very particular situation. Instead of handling something in that way,
S1: you handle the origination. So in any communication cycle, that's difficult.
S1: Somebody might be complaining that, you know, Oh, you didn't
S1: hold my hand. And it's been the third time this
S1: week that you weren't interested in holding my hand. Why
S1: are you not holding my hand? You. You don't love
S1: me anymore. Is it about the hand? Of course not.
S1: It's not about the hand, the origination. The person doesn't
S1: feel loved. So don't even talk about the hand. Just
S1: say I'm sorry that you're feeling not loved. I didn't
S1: realize that. My reaction. My. Lapse of judgment and holding
S1: your hand was going to hand or was going to
S1: create this feeling because that sounds like a really shitty feeling,
S1: you know, I love you. And granted, Elaine was not
S1: giving me marriage advice. It wasn't about Brandon or holding hands,
S1: and it was about something business related. But handling the origination,
S1: somebody doesn't feel seen, somebody doesn't feel appreciated, someone is
S1: just frustrated. Most people and oftentimes you'll handle the very
S1: specific situation, but that's not the right thing to do.
S1: And so I've applied this over the last few weeks,
S1: and she and I talked about this, and it's really
S1: been masterful. You don't have to agree with everything that
S1: somebody says. You don't have to be right. You just
S1: have to handle and really look at what is the origination.
S1: If you can go to the root and go to
S1: the origination man, it's like it's a game changer. This
S1: is really helped me in communication. And I would suggest
S1: if you were having difficulty in relationships and communication right now,
S1: look at and try to uncover like what is the
S1: origination on the other person's side of the issue and
S1: maybe what is the origination on your own side. You're
S1: talking about the fact that the person isn't holding your hand,
S1: but is it actually that you don't feel loved? How
S1: could you communicate that that's the origination instead of you
S1: never hold my hand and having it be some sort
S1: of explosion. Okay. My final April epiphany and I got
S1: to get rolling here because this interview, it's going to happen.
S1: And ideally it happens with me, not without me. So, uh,
S1: the last other than so many things, but for the
S1: purposes of this podcast, I was driving with my brother
S1: from Orlando to Miami just three days ago. We were
S1: on the cusp. It might even technically be a lesson
S1: in May, but I'm gonna give it to April. I
S1: think it goes on May 1st. And we were talking
S1: about our muscle building goals. Both of us work out
S1: in the gym five days a week, 5 to 6
S1: days a week, lifting weights to gain muscle. We. Eat
S1: a ridiculous amount of protein. And these changes have been
S1: like slow over the last, I would say, year. But
S1: we've really gotten more intense and more serious about it
S1: in the last six months. And so we're kind of
S1: buddies on this. We hold each other accountable. We go
S1: to the gym together, we talk about what food we're
S1: eating and what's helping us, what's not helping us, etcetera.
S1: And so I asked him this question. I said, how
S1: long do you think it's going to take you to
S1: get to your ideal body? And his response blew my
S1: freaking mind. He said, If I'm consistent with what I'm
S1: doing right now, I think it's going to take me
S1: five years. And like, I gasped. It's like, what, five years?
S1: Why do you think it's going to take you five years?
S1: And he proceeded to explain, you know, the science behind
S1: it and looking at other people's results and what their
S1: trajectory has been. And in order to build the amount
S1: of muscle, it's not something that happens in six months.
S1: It happens over years of being really consistent doing the
S1: work that he's doing. And all of a sudden, as
S1: soon as he said five years, it blew this thing
S1: for me. That I've held on to since I was
S1: ten years old that I've believed in, which is if
S1: I just go on some crash diet, I can have
S1: whatever body I want in 30 days. Like it's always
S1: a 30 day target. And the reality is I've never
S1: successfully gotten to where I've wanted in 30 days. But still,
S1: in my mind, it's a 30 day thing. And what
S1: he said, five years, it actually just like settled me into, okay,
S1: I could be consistent with this for five years. Like
S1: it just like a mindset shift from months to years.
S1: And now what? I'm making choices. Granted, it's been five days,
S1: but like, stick with me on this. It just doesn't
S1: feel like I'm depriving myself for a short period of
S1: time to get some short term goal. It it's changed
S1: my mindset to a lifestyle, and I couldn't have thought
S1: with five years, six months ago, a year ago, because
S1: it sounds daunting and it feels really hard and like
S1: you want a quick fix and a solution, so then
S1: you get some wins. But now I'm at a place
S1: where this behavior has been consistent enough, and so I
S1: can look at five years and say, okay, when I'm
S1: 35 years old, I can see that it the result
S1: is going to be this. And it just like in everything.
S1: What if you knew was going to take five years?
S1: What would you be willing to put the work in?
S1: I apply that so much to business, to public speaking,
S1: to operating our organizations, to leading teams. Like it's not
S1: something that just happens. You can't just show up every
S1: day for a week and expect that your business is
S1: going to grow like it is. Consistency over a long
S1: period of time with your clients, with your team members,
S1: growing social platforms, that creates the growth. But I'd never
S1: applied that principle to another area of my life and
S1: now that I've applied it, I'm like, Wow, this is
S1: it's actually inspiring to know that it's five years because
S1: then you're not upset that it hasn't happened right now,
S1: but you're still putting the work in right now. So
S1: if any of you are frustrated that you're putting the
S1: work in right now and it's not leading to where
S1: you want, it's okay. It will eventually. If you don't
S1: give up, it will eventually get you to where you
S1: want to go. You just can't give up. And I
S1: think about this with the team that I'm leading right now.
S1: There's some new team members, there's some new dynamics, there's
S1: new things going on that I don't operate the same
S1: way that I used to, and they don't know. How
S1: I run things. Yet they're just getting used to me
S1: as well. The whole. Whole division's whole department's whole companies.
S1: And what I know is I'm in this for the
S1: long haul. It's not some short thing. And when the
S1: long haul happens and they see the consistency of the
S1: daily team meetings and the personal professional financial goal conversations
S1: and the one on ones and the metrics and how
S1: we on board, like when all those pieces that we
S1: go through are tied together and I'm consistent with it,
S1: I know we'll win. I have full confidence that we
S1: will win because we will continue to attract the right
S1: people who are interested in the long run of changing
S1: their lives. It's not like somebody comes into our environment
S1: and gets ten Xed overnight and within two weeks their
S1: whole lives changed and it was just such a magical experience.
S1: It takes time to build the confidence and the consistency
S1: is actually what creates the confidence. And speaking of, you know,
S1: one on one onboarding, all of that fun stuff, I
S1: know I have a People Essentials workshop coming up here
S1: in June. It's it's our most popular course. It sells
S1: out the fastest. Last time we had standing room only
S1: and actually had to move venues because the event was
S1: so oversold. So if you are trying to figure out
S1: this whole team thing, this team engagement thing, how you
S1: build a sustainable culture and a business that. The team
S1: runs when the organization runs with a high performing team
S1: when you're not even there. Highly recommend you check out
S1: People essentials. You can go to coronavirus.com/people to get your
S1: tickets and sign up and I do it real fast
S1: because it's not going to be available for too long
S1: with that appreciate you making a fantastic may or whatever
S1: month it is that you are listening to this and
S1: looking forward to hanging with you next time on Building Billions.
S1: Don't forget to share this episode. If this helped you
S1: in any way, it would mean the world to me.
S1: If you share this so that the show can grow
S1: and so that other people can be impacted and learn
S1: these lessons from what we're learning as we're building this
S1: billion dollar business.