WEBVTT - How I Overcome Failure 0:00:02.450 --> 0:00:03.860 I don't even know. 0:00:04.250 --> 0:00:05.930 I like, literally don't know how to do this, which 0:00:05.930 --> 0:00:07.850 is probably how our business owners feel when I ask 0:00:07.850 --> 0:00:10.369 them to like, make KPIs or like, what are you 0:00:10.369 --> 0:00:24.890 talking about? Uh. So my team asked me to sit 0:00:24.890 --> 0:00:29.630 down here and make a YouTube video about my greatest failures. 0:00:29.740 --> 0:00:34.210 And I got three minutes into talking about my failures 0:00:34.210 --> 0:00:39.400 and just paused the whole thing because it's so uncomfortable 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.130 for me at this point in my life, to go 0:00:42.130 --> 0:00:46.150 backwards and to look at the things that I've done incorrectly. 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:49.570 Because what I do look back, the majority of what 0:00:49.570 --> 0:00:53.140 I've done, I feel like I've done incorrectly. And still 0:00:53.140 --> 0:00:58.940 today I am disappointed with myself and I'm frustrated that 0:00:58.940 --> 0:01:01.490 things aren't where I want them to be or how 0:01:01.490 --> 0:01:03.740 I want them to be, and I'm not who I 0:01:03.740 --> 0:01:07.340 want to be. And so it's really challenging for me, 0:01:07.430 --> 0:01:09.830 and it's actually the thing that probably makes me more 0:01:09.830 --> 0:01:14.090 emotional in life than anything is looking back at failures, 0:01:14.090 --> 0:01:16.399 because I still feel like I'm in this constant state 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:20.200 of not doing the right thing at the right time. 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:23.319 As I just turned 31 this year, I really recognized 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.030 that this is the thing that holds me back, and 0:01:25.030 --> 0:01:29.080 it's so challenging for me to talk about things that 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.289 I think make people relatable, which is their failures and 0:01:32.290 --> 0:01:35.830 their experiences and lessons. Not from this place of, oh, 0:01:35.830 --> 0:01:38.890 I figure this out, but from a place of I'm 0:01:38.890 --> 0:01:42.220 going through this today as I think about the people 0:01:42.220 --> 0:01:45.210 that I relate most to and the conversations that I 0:01:45.209 --> 0:01:47.550 want to be a part of, and the people that 0:01:47.550 --> 0:01:50.790 I look to for mentorship, the things that are the 0:01:50.790 --> 0:01:52.890 hard parts of their life, are always the things that 0:01:52.890 --> 0:01:55.680 I relate most to. When I was 24 years old, 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:59.610 where Brandon put me in this seat in our business 0:01:59.610 --> 0:02:03.600 that I wasn't ready for, and I honestly should have 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.300 told him no, that I shouldn't do this because I 0:02:06.300 --> 0:02:09.450 didn't have the experience. No one's taking 24 year old 0:02:09.450 --> 0:02:13.220 Natalie blonde Natalie, seriously in charge of a company with 0:02:13.220 --> 0:02:17.780 50 people. And yet I just said yes. And part 0:02:17.780 --> 0:02:19.550 of me even feels weird about that, because there's like, 0:02:19.550 --> 0:02:22.760 this privilege that comes with that. Like, oh, my then 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.489 boyfriend put me in charge of this company. Like, I 0:02:25.490 --> 0:02:28.760 am so self-aware of who I am and how I'm 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.670 perceived by people that I recognize that talking about this 0:02:31.669 --> 0:02:34.400 is seems like it could be privilege, and it's just 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.850 the reality of what my life was like. I was 24, 0:02:36.850 --> 0:02:40.240 I was dating and soon to be engaged to an 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.550 older man who had a lot of money, and it 0:02:42.550 --> 0:02:44.920 was everything that I didn't want to be known for 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:48.669 in life. I had a full ride academic scholarship to college. 0:02:48.669 --> 0:02:50.920 I got straight A's like I was going to be 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:54.640 somebody without somebody beside me. And then I decide to 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:57.760 date Brandon. I decided to fall in love with what 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:00.260 I believe is my soulmate. I believe in soul mates, 0:03:00.260 --> 0:03:03.200 and he put me in this position that I thought 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:05.660 I could do and I thought I could take on, 0:03:05.660 --> 0:03:09.830 but didn't actually have like true certainty that I knew 0:03:09.830 --> 0:03:11.630 what I was doing. I don't think anybody who takes 0:03:11.630 --> 0:03:15.350 over a business has true certainty and hindsight being 2020, 0:03:15.350 --> 0:03:17.690 I should have said no, but I didn't and I 0:03:17.690 --> 0:03:21.590 said yes. And I was this 24 year old who 0:03:21.590 --> 0:03:23.630 had all of these direct reports of people who were 0:03:23.630 --> 0:03:26.560 older than me, who did not take me seriously. And 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:28.600 I knew it, and they knew it. And I just 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.690 continued to put myself in this position that was so 0:03:31.690 --> 0:03:34.630 confidence shattering. I would go home at night and I 0:03:34.630 --> 0:03:37.900 would cry about the things that people said in surveys 0:03:37.900 --> 0:03:40.420 and feedback, and I just found myself, like stuck in 0:03:40.420 --> 0:03:43.480 the situation where he needed me in this role because 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:45.790 there was nobody else he trusted. It was all I 0:03:45.790 --> 0:03:48.100 could do. Like, my mission for this whole year was 0:03:48.100 --> 0:03:51.000 just to figure out how to make this business stabilize, 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:53.580 and how to make this business not lose money, and 0:03:53.580 --> 0:03:57.180 how to prove to my husband, then boyfriend that I 0:03:57.180 --> 0:04:00.960 can do this. And instead of fixing it, and instead 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:04.140 of things getting better, it got worse and it got worse, 0:04:04.140 --> 0:04:06.630 and it got worse, and there was more bad news. 0:04:06.630 --> 0:04:10.080 And this like cycle really perpetuated to the point where 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.200 I had to make the proposal to him in a 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:16.000 group of partners that we needed to shut this business down, 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:21.010 and it crushed me because everything that everybody thought about me, 0:04:21.010 --> 0:04:23.950 everything that people were saying about me and my own 0:04:23.950 --> 0:04:26.860 internal doubts about my abilities and my skill sets, was 0:04:26.860 --> 0:04:29.710 just validated in the fact that I couldn't figure out 0:04:29.710 --> 0:04:32.890 how to make this technology platform work. I honestly was 0:04:32.890 --> 0:04:36.010 just a shell of myself. I can't even take myself 0:04:36.010 --> 0:04:37.870 back to that place, to be honest with you. Like, 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.030 because if I did, I would just be in pieces 0:04:40.029 --> 0:04:44.219 on the floor because it was so soul crushing for me. 0:04:44.220 --> 0:04:48.810 And so, um, just challenging. Uh, I it's hard to 0:04:48.810 --> 0:04:51.930 put into words because I stopped believing in myself. I 0:04:51.930 --> 0:04:54.420 stopped believing that I could do anything. I'm not the 0:04:54.420 --> 0:04:57.060 right person. Somebody else gets to do this. I can't 0:04:57.060 --> 0:05:01.589 like girl boss and figure this out. And, um. 0:05:01.980 --> 0:05:03.090 Luckily. 0:05:03.420 --> 0:05:08.900 Luckily, I was spending time on YouTube and literally found 0:05:08.900 --> 0:05:12.260 Grant Cardone on a suggested video on the right side 0:05:12.260 --> 0:05:16.159 of my screen on YouTube. And listening to his YouTube 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:21.800 videos is what, like, reinvigorated me to be okay with 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.230 the fact that I had failed and be okay with 0:05:24.230 --> 0:05:27.440 the fact that I was 24 years old. And of course, 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:29.029 I was going to make mistakes. And who am I 0:05:29.060 --> 0:05:30.900 to think that I could just figure this out, like 0:05:30.900 --> 0:05:33.180 all of these things that I had wound myself into 0:05:33.180 --> 0:05:36.690 being so doubtful and secure about? I watched these videos 0:05:36.690 --> 0:05:39.539 that helped me overcome all of them, and I think 0:05:39.540 --> 0:05:41.460 that's the power of social media. I think that's the 0:05:41.460 --> 0:05:43.680 power of being able to create content like this, and 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.440 to communicate with other people is to be able to 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:51.029 speak life into people's fears and ideally, live a life 0:05:51.029 --> 0:05:54.089 where you can be an example to them and have 0:05:54.089 --> 0:05:56.930 them see a different picture for themselves than they thought 0:05:56.930 --> 0:05:59.720 was possible. And if he wouldn't have created the videos 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.300 that he created, I would not be who I am today. 0:06:02.300 --> 0:06:05.120 I would honestly be following my husband around the world, 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:08.180 letting him do the big deals and him negotiate all 0:06:08.180 --> 0:06:10.520 of the contracts and him be the business person. While 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:13.880 I just gave up on myself because of a set 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:17.000 of experiences that I had so early in life. I'm 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:20.270 so grateful for content platforms that give these other pictures, 0:06:20.270 --> 0:06:22.510 but I think it's easy to even look at me 0:06:22.510 --> 0:06:25.450 today with the team that we have and the business 0:06:25.450 --> 0:06:28.120 that we've built over the last five years, and to think, oh, 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.280 it must have been so easy for her this whole time, 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.640 and she never had to overcome these challenging moments when, 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.490 just five years ago, it's hard for me to admit 0:06:36.490 --> 0:06:40.479 who I was back then, because it's not the person 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.690 that I am today. And I almost gave up and 0:06:43.690 --> 0:06:46.770 I'm I was almost the opposite, the exact opposite of 0:06:46.770 --> 0:06:49.140 everything that I talk about. And the fact that I 0:06:49.140 --> 0:06:51.540 was there at one point is really difficult for me 0:06:51.540 --> 0:06:53.820 to admit, because I want it to seem so easy 0:06:53.820 --> 0:06:56.429 and like I've always had my shit together, even though 0:06:56.430 --> 0:06:59.520 the reality is, of course, that's not true. But if 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:02.880 you're going through something that's similar, my strongest piece of 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:05.610 advice is just to keep going through it and to 0:07:05.610 --> 0:07:07.560 believe that you can have this life that you want 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.380 to have. Because if you stop believing that you can 0:07:10.380 --> 0:07:12.610 have this life, you're going to stop putting energy into 0:07:12.610 --> 0:07:15.970 figuring it out and it's possible for you. You are 0:07:15.970 --> 0:07:20.080 capable of doing it even if you failed 100 times over. 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:23.050 If the one time that you're successful is the 101st, 0:07:23.050 --> 0:07:26.110 it's worth not giving up on yourself because it's available 0:07:26.110 --> 0:07:28.720 to you. I hope that if you're listening to this 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:32.800 and you're going through the dark side of entrepreneurship, you 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:36.550 have confidence in knowingness that you are not alone.