WEBVTT - Lessons Learned in January 0:00:04.540 --> 0:00:09.250 Welcome back to Building Billions. I am coming at you 0:00:09.250 --> 0:00:14.260 this morning from a kitchen. It is February 2nd. We 0:00:14.260 --> 0:00:18.730 just wrapped up the month of January. Today is a Thursday, 0:00:18.730 --> 0:00:21.189 so I have back to back one on ones. I 0:00:21.190 --> 0:00:23.740 have two events that I'm speaking at. It's a wild 0:00:23.739 --> 0:00:27.160 day and I feel ready for it. I feel prepared 0:00:27.550 --> 0:00:30.160 and I wanted to take a moment to share with 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:34.360 you as January just closed out what I learned this 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.460 month and I think I want to do these every 0:00:36.460 --> 0:00:39.910 single month because over the course of the last 30 days, 0:00:39.909 --> 0:00:42.670 I've been writing down what I'm learning. I've been writing 0:00:42.670 --> 0:00:49.120 down just like moments where I'm observing something, observing something 0:00:50.530 --> 0:00:53.950 that like had an impact on me and that I left. 0:00:53.950 --> 0:00:58.000 Like I took a mental note of that was important 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:02.230 or significant or taught me something. And as somebody who 0:01:02.230 --> 0:01:05.920 spends most of my time doing what I'm doing right now, 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:08.260 talking to people, there's a lot of outflow, there's a 0:01:08.260 --> 0:01:12.370 lot of teaching. I believe it's really important to also 0:01:12.370 --> 0:01:16.089 have a balance of taking in information because when you're 0:01:16.090 --> 0:01:20.380 in a position of constantly like just talking and teaching 0:01:20.380 --> 0:01:24.310 and and giving, there has to be the counter acting 0:01:24.310 --> 0:01:28.780 of how is that person growing? And this is for you, 0:01:28.780 --> 0:01:30.940 but this is also for me because I'm fascinated in 0:01:30.940 --> 0:01:34.150 years from now what I'm going to remember through this 0:01:34.150 --> 0:01:37.540 podcast as like little moments that just really allowed me 0:01:37.540 --> 0:01:41.740 to refine and pivot. So this is for us. Let's 0:01:41.740 --> 0:01:44.890 just get this thing kicked off. I have five of 0:01:44.890 --> 0:01:49.720 them that I want to share. So first, when the 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:54.550 year kicked off, we were in Paris with this phenomenal 0:01:54.550 --> 0:01:58.420 woman who was celebrating her 60th birthday. And it was 0:01:58.420 --> 0:02:03.160 the final night we were going to this show. And 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:07.230 everything had just been spectacular up to that point. The 0:02:07.270 --> 0:02:12.310 dinners were curated with the perfect menu and wine list, 0:02:12.460 --> 0:02:15.519 and that was over the top. But it felt like, 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:18.700 you know, like an event, like that's what the expectation is, 0:02:18.700 --> 0:02:22.030 that of course the food is paired and there's flowers 0:02:22.030 --> 0:02:23.950 and all of that. But on the final night when 0:02:23.950 --> 0:02:28.150 we went to the show, it like burned into my 0:02:28.150 --> 0:02:34.270 memory that for the 15 people that were there, this 0:02:34.270 --> 0:02:40.620 phenomenal woman. Got every couple a bottle of Dom Perignon 0:02:40.620 --> 0:02:46.780 in her favorite year. And caviar and. I just like 0:02:46.870 --> 0:02:50.590 it really just dawned on me like you should do 0:02:50.590 --> 0:02:55.630 things the right way. That was the right way to 0:02:55.630 --> 0:02:59.740 do something that is over serving. That is like delighting 0:02:59.740 --> 0:03:03.580 somebody who is flown across the world in order to 0:03:03.580 --> 0:03:06.070 celebrate you. But she didn't have to do that. She 0:03:06.070 --> 0:03:08.830 did not. She could have gotten cheap champagne. She could 0:03:08.830 --> 0:03:11.320 have had all of us just order cocktails. But the 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:16.630 touch of the foresight and the expense, to be honest 0:03:16.630 --> 0:03:20.710 with you, of going above and beyond, to create an 0:03:20.710 --> 0:03:24.400 experience and to do something the right way. If it 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:26.560 was me personally, I don't know if many of you 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.050 guys know this about me. I'm a little cheap with 0:03:29.050 --> 0:03:31.360 stuff like that. And I hate to say that because 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:35.770 nobody likes to be cheap, but I'm just like, more stingy. I, 0:03:36.100 --> 0:03:38.530 I think of things as like, well, I don't need, like, 0:03:38.530 --> 0:03:40.270 no one's going to care and I don't need to 0:03:40.270 --> 0:03:43.960 spend that. And that's not something that's required. And it 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:45.820 was just this moment of like, wait a second, this 0:03:45.820 --> 0:03:50.170 is surprising and delighting people and doing things the right way, 0:03:50.170 --> 0:03:54.640 which I loved and is going to trickle into, already 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:56.860 has trickled into things that I've done this month where 0:03:56.860 --> 0:03:58.840 I'm like, instead of doing it like the middle of 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:03.490 the roadway, just go all out for it. And that's 0:04:03.490 --> 0:04:06.610 a way of like living abundantly. So that was the 0:04:06.610 --> 0:04:09.940 first thing. Second, just last week when I was in London, 0:04:10.540 --> 0:04:14.980 there was a panel that I went to and it 0:04:14.980 --> 0:04:19.960 was hosted by the owner of this business, but the 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:24.790 owner of the business had somebody from a magazine interview her. 0:04:24.790 --> 0:04:28.420 And initially you thought that they were kind of friends. And, 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.630 you know, there was this like relationship between the two 0:04:31.630 --> 0:04:34.000 of them. But as the panel went on and again, 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:35.320 it was just two of them, so it was a 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.960 panel of one, but she was being interviewed. And again, 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:42.910 it was her event. As this panel went on, the 0:04:42.910 --> 0:04:46.960 interviewer kept interrupting the business owner like she would be 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:49.179 in the middle of a thought and then kind of 0:04:49.180 --> 0:04:51.580 like a pushy interviewer. She would just like cut her 0:04:51.580 --> 0:04:53.620 off and go into the next question. And she did 0:04:53.620 --> 0:04:56.980 this 4 or 5 times to where it was a 0:04:56.980 --> 0:05:00.430 little uncomfortable, but the business owner allowed her to do 0:05:00.430 --> 0:05:04.390 it out of probably professional courtesy, and then she did 0:05:04.390 --> 0:05:08.740 it a fifth time. And on the fifth time the 0:05:08.740 --> 0:05:12.790 business owner stood up. At first she was seated. She 0:05:12.790 --> 0:05:18.070 stood up in this room and changed the entire dynamic 0:05:18.070 --> 0:05:21.820 of the energy in the room. Like she just took 0:05:21.820 --> 0:05:26.289 up space. And she told the interviewer, Let me just 0:05:26.290 --> 0:05:29.739 finish because you keep interrupting me and then I lose 0:05:29.740 --> 0:05:32.620 my thought and I'm not finished with what I'm saying. 0:05:32.770 --> 0:05:38.229 And she proceeded to just own the fricking room. And 0:05:38.230 --> 0:05:41.770 the interviewer at that point back down just a little bit, 0:05:41.770 --> 0:05:43.990 still interrupted her a couple of times, which is just 0:05:43.990 --> 0:05:47.590 like mind blowing to me. But for me it was 0:05:47.589 --> 0:05:50.770 this lesson of, wait a second, the interviewer is the 0:05:50.770 --> 0:05:53.169 one being the ass right now. Like I'm not being 0:05:53.170 --> 0:05:57.010 an ass by telling you that. I need you to 0:05:57.010 --> 0:06:00.039 let me speak, even though I'm being a little bit 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:05.830 more overtly aggressive. But the interviewer was totally in the 0:06:05.830 --> 0:06:09.670 wrong and should have been called out. But in that instance, 0:06:09.670 --> 0:06:13.060 I probably would have been upset and might have even 0:06:13.060 --> 0:06:19.839 like introverted. Instead of doing the opposite and expanding and 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:25.000 becoming more present and doing what I was there already 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:28.450 to do. If it's your event, which it was her event, 0:06:28.450 --> 0:06:30.700 she should be the one calling the shots. She's running 0:06:30.700 --> 0:06:33.430 the show instead of allowing somebody else in the environment 0:06:33.430 --> 0:06:37.330 to take control. And so for meetings that you're in 0:06:37.330 --> 0:06:41.529 or conversations that are taking place around you, when somebody 0:06:41.529 --> 0:06:48.550 is overshadowing you or overwhelming you, instead of your response being, Oh, 0:06:48.550 --> 0:06:50.799 I'm going to introvert and I'm going to just let 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.200 them do what they need to do, even though it's rude. 0:06:53.650 --> 0:06:58.870 I just love the example of taking it the opposite direction. 0:06:58.870 --> 0:07:01.060 And I don't care if you're going to be called 0:07:01.060 --> 0:07:02.560 a bitch. I don't care if you're going to be 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:05.289 called all sorts of the names that women get called 0:07:05.290 --> 0:07:09.700 in business when they're forceful and present. I watched my 0:07:09.700 --> 0:07:13.180 husband do this all the time and but he's a guy, right? 0:07:13.180 --> 0:07:16.240 Like watching other strong, powerful women do this. It was 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.520 totally the right thing to do. Was the leadership move 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:22.030 to make. And it was a really cool example for 0:07:22.030 --> 0:07:24.580 me to just remember, Hey, wait a second, you don't 0:07:24.580 --> 0:07:27.700 have to back down when somebody else is trying to 0:07:27.700 --> 0:07:31.000 put you in a corner and it's okay to make 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:34.300 that person feel uncomfortable because they're actually making you feel 0:07:34.300 --> 0:07:38.590 uncomfortable and they're in the wrong. So frickin loved that. 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:42.430 All right. Number three, it's wild that all of these 0:07:42.430 --> 0:07:46.150 instances happened while I was abroad because I promise in 0:07:46.150 --> 0:07:49.150 future months, most of these will happen like in our 0:07:49.150 --> 0:07:51.970 business or I don't know, I just don't normally have 0:07:51.970 --> 0:07:55.480 all of these experiences where I'm not in our office. 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.540 But January was a pretty, pretty crazy month with travel. 0:07:58.540 --> 0:08:04.010 So the third one I was in Paris and. Let 0:08:04.010 --> 0:08:07.760 me just read my notes. Okay. So I was in 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:12.140 Paris and with a group of totally awesome women and 0:08:12.140 --> 0:08:15.140 one of the women, as soon as we sat down 0:08:15.140 --> 0:08:18.110 and I implemented this last night, funnily enough, as soon 0:08:18.110 --> 0:08:20.690 as we sat down, she was like, We're ordering a 0:08:20.690 --> 0:08:24.160 magnum of Cristal. First she asked if everybody's drinking champagne. 0:08:24.170 --> 0:08:26.630 Of course no one's going to say no. And then 0:08:26.630 --> 0:08:30.140 she ordered this Magnum of Cristal. Now I'm not here. 0:08:31.660 --> 0:08:34.929 To promote drinking. Sorry. I just realize I'm supposed to 0:08:34.929 --> 0:08:37.239 be eating my breakfast while I'm doing this. A little 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:39.640 multitasking for the morning, but you guys probably want to 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:45.480 hear me chew. I work out this whole morning podcasting. Anyway, 0:08:45.660 --> 0:08:48.240 she asks everybody if they're drinking champagne and they say yes. 0:08:48.450 --> 0:08:51.300 She orders this magnum of Cristal. I was like, That 0:08:51.300 --> 0:08:56.910 is a freaking boss move to take control of the group. Now, 0:08:56.910 --> 0:08:59.040 this is different than the first instance because the first 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:02.400 instance was somebody hosting a party and and doing things 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:04.830 the right way when she's the one that is responsible 0:09:04.830 --> 0:09:07.349 for the group because she brought them together. But when 0:09:07.590 --> 0:09:10.710 you're just with a group of people and there's no 0:09:10.710 --> 0:09:13.980 like direct responsibility, there's no like, Oh, I invited you 0:09:13.980 --> 0:09:17.400 to this thing. It's just like a networking experience. You 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.040 should freaking take control. Like, you should be the person 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:24.600 that says, okay, I'm ordering caviar and champagne for the table. 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.900 I am. I'm going to take responsibility. I'm going to 0:09:27.900 --> 0:09:30.600 order the food. See, that's normally like my thing is 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:33.480 I will order the food for everybody. I learned that 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.150 very early on in my career, that it's really great 0:09:36.150 --> 0:09:39.900 to be decisive in social situations about the food, but 0:09:39.900 --> 0:09:42.660 I'd never really thought about it for the drinks and 0:09:42.660 --> 0:09:46.530 the appetizers and just taking accountability for the group. So 0:09:46.530 --> 0:09:51.660 I loved this woman's move like this. It's not even 0:09:51.660 --> 0:09:54.780 a flex. It's just like it's the freaking right thing 0:09:54.780 --> 0:09:57.240 to do. And to be honest with you, this isn't 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:00.000 a podcast about like, men versus women, but I think 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.870 I'm around more men, to be honest, than I am women. 0:10:03.870 --> 0:10:08.520 And I'm around very powerful, strong men. And so it's 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:12.929 just been amazing to watch these women do behaviors that 0:10:12.929 --> 0:10:15.390 I have seen men do but haven't really put two 0:10:15.390 --> 0:10:17.280 and two together of like, Hey, Natalie should do this. 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:18.810 I just always think of it as the other person 0:10:18.809 --> 0:10:23.309 doing it. And she just everybody was so appreciative that 0:10:23.309 --> 0:10:26.340 she did this. I was appreciative that she did this. 0:10:26.340 --> 0:10:27.750 And I was just kind of like, that is a 0:10:27.750 --> 0:10:29.699 good move. I'm putting that in my pocket. Next time 0:10:29.700 --> 0:10:32.969 in a group, I'm just totally going to take responsibility. 0:10:33.390 --> 0:10:36.810 Take responsibility for the group. If you're in the group, 0:10:36.809 --> 0:10:43.590 take responsibility for the group. Okay? This next one, I 0:10:43.590 --> 0:10:47.700 actually learned from me. I learned something. What I learned 0:10:47.700 --> 0:10:49.230 from this month, it's kind of funny, but what I 0:10:49.230 --> 0:10:52.650 learned from this month, one of the things is something 0:10:52.650 --> 0:10:55.530 that I did myself, which was when I was in 0:10:55.530 --> 0:10:59.490 Paris after an event, it was probably midnight. And if 0:10:59.490 --> 0:11:02.219 you listen to my previous podcast episode, you'll know my 0:11:02.220 --> 0:11:04.800 networking tips. And one of them when I'm in a 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.830 new group of people is to not drink. Well, I 0:11:07.830 --> 0:11:11.670 was in this networking event and I didn't drink, but 0:11:11.670 --> 0:11:14.970 then everybody wanted to go to a club afterwards and 0:11:14.970 --> 0:11:18.089 I was already like 5050 about, do I want to go? 0:11:18.090 --> 0:11:20.219 I have an early morning. I have meetings tomorrow morning. 0:11:20.220 --> 0:11:23.790 I need to be fresh. It's already midnight. But because 0:11:23.790 --> 0:11:26.069 it was a new group, it's like I should go. 0:11:26.610 --> 0:11:30.270 So I showed up to this club. Everybody else had 0:11:30.270 --> 0:11:32.280 been drinking like no one was drunk, but they had 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.590 just like they were having a good time. They were socializing. 0:11:34.590 --> 0:11:37.290 And so I show up to this club and as 0:11:37.290 --> 0:11:39.540 soon as I got there, I was like, I really 0:11:39.540 --> 0:11:42.390 don't want to be here. These these people are awesome. 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.120 But it would take me a lot of drinking in 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.750 order to get on their level very quickly. It's already midnight. 0:11:48.750 --> 0:11:50.520 I have things that I want to do. I don't 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:54.599 really feel great about this, but what I learned is. 0:11:55.490 --> 0:11:58.760 You don't have to feel pressure from what other people 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:01.970 are doing. Like for a split second, I was like, Oh, 0:12:01.970 --> 0:12:04.640 should I just stay so that people think that I'm 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:06.770 fun and cool? And I was like, No, this is 0:12:06.770 --> 0:12:08.660 not my personality. I don't need them to think I'm 0:12:08.660 --> 0:12:11.090 fun or cool. By being out at a nightclub, they 0:12:11.090 --> 0:12:12.860 can think I'm fun and cool in a whole bunch 0:12:12.860 --> 0:12:15.020 of other ways. I'm not going to miss out from 0:12:15.020 --> 0:12:18.980 this experience because I've already had fun. Like I've had 0:12:18.980 --> 0:12:21.950 a great time and anything else that happens would be 0:12:22.460 --> 0:12:24.650 potentially fun. But I don't know that it's necessarily going 0:12:24.650 --> 0:12:26.960 to be any fun because I don't know these people. 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.750 And at a nightclub, it's like, what? How much fun 0:12:29.750 --> 0:12:32.420 can happen at a nightclub at midnight, right? I mean, 0:12:32.420 --> 0:12:34.010 I get a lot of fun, but you get what 0:12:34.010 --> 0:12:37.429 I'm saying. And so I got there I was there 0:12:37.429 --> 0:12:41.030 for five minutes and I literally just left. I left. 0:12:41.030 --> 0:12:44.510 I grabbed my jacket. I went home, got in bed, 0:12:44.510 --> 0:12:47.179 packed my shit up, and was really proud of that 0:12:47.179 --> 0:12:51.110 decision because I didn't feel like I was doing something 0:12:51.110 --> 0:12:55.000 that I didn't need to do. And. If you're somebody 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:59.740 who struggles with fear of missing out and worrying that 0:12:59.950 --> 0:13:04.599 something fun is happening while you're not there. You really 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.350 just have to, like, internalize and ask yourself and check 0:13:08.350 --> 0:13:11.570 in with yourself around. Do I really want to do this? 0:13:11.590 --> 0:13:14.440 Am I only doing this because somebody else wants me 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:16.330 to do this? And if somebody else wants you to 0:13:16.330 --> 0:13:19.450 do it, unless they're really fucking important to you. Like 0:13:19.450 --> 0:13:21.850 if my husband wants me to do something, he wants 0:13:21.850 --> 0:13:24.700 me to go out because we're entertaining people. Or at 0:13:24.700 --> 0:13:28.420 some important thing, he has the wait and the pole 0:13:28.420 --> 0:13:31.360 for me to do that. There's maybe 2 or 3 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:35.230 people in my life who have that pole over me 0:13:35.500 --> 0:13:40.420 because of the agreements that we have, the relationships that 0:13:40.420 --> 0:13:43.929 we have. But anybody else, if you're a stranger, if 0:13:43.929 --> 0:13:48.010 you're just a friend, if you're just somebody in my world, 0:13:48.670 --> 0:13:51.309 I don't care and I shouldn't care and I don't 0:13:51.309 --> 0:13:53.140 want to care because I know what I need to 0:13:53.140 --> 0:13:56.559 do and I know where I'm going. And so it 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.630 was it was a it was a moment for me 0:13:58.630 --> 0:14:02.170 of remembering you don't have to do what the group 0:14:02.170 --> 0:14:05.290 is doing and you don't have to feel pressure. And 0:14:05.290 --> 0:14:09.370 if you're like, I'm good, then just be good and 0:14:09.370 --> 0:14:13.360 go home and do your thing and feel good about 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:16.510 doing your thing. Because what I found is if I 0:14:16.510 --> 0:14:18.880 would have stayed and I've done this in the past, 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.970 whenever I let somebody else dictate what I'm spending my 0:14:21.970 --> 0:14:28.240 time doing, I resent them. And more importantly, I resent myself. Like, Man, 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.850 why did I just let them make the decision for me? 0:14:30.850 --> 0:14:33.160 I didn't want to do this. I shouldn't have done it. 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:36.700 Now I've put myself in a position to trust myself less. 0:14:36.700 --> 0:14:40.240 And you want to be able to protect what you 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:43.420 trust yourself to say yes and no to. And the 0:14:43.420 --> 0:14:45.460 more you say no to things that you know you 0:14:45.460 --> 0:14:49.660 don't want to do, the more confidence you have. And conversely, 0:14:49.660 --> 0:14:52.150 the more you just agree to go along with what 0:14:52.150 --> 0:14:54.130 everybody else is doing. But, you know, you don't really 0:14:54.130 --> 0:14:55.930 want to be there or you should be doing something 0:14:55.930 --> 0:14:57.790 different and you should be contributing to something or you 0:14:57.790 --> 0:15:00.940 should be working in and getting closer to your goals. 0:15:00.940 --> 0:15:05.290 Like you're going to not become confident and it's funny, 0:15:05.290 --> 0:15:08.920 as I talk about this, it makes me remember the 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:13.900 beginning of my 20s. I followed Brandon around with a 0:15:13.900 --> 0:15:17.200 lot of his business travel and his work, and I 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:20.050 was just like almost at his beck and call and 0:15:20.050 --> 0:15:21.430 not in a negative way, like we were in a 0:15:21.430 --> 0:15:23.800 great relationship and I was supporting him, but I didn't 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:27.610 have a life that required me to go do something different. 0:15:27.610 --> 0:15:31.240 So it was all about his schedule, his meetings, and 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.400 I learned a lot from that. But I started to 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:36.100 resent that in some of those things that I didn't 0:15:36.100 --> 0:15:39.520 want to do. I still did. And I felt bad 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:43.450 about it because I should have been writing a book. 0:15:43.450 --> 0:15:46.660 I should have been learning sales skills. I should have 0:15:46.660 --> 0:15:50.560 been reading a book and making myself better. But instead 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.320 I just agreed to go along with whatever he was 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:57.850 doing because I thought it was. I didn't think it 0:15:57.850 --> 0:15:59.200 was the right thing to do, to be honest. I 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:04.030 just I felt pressure again, not from him, but whenever 0:16:04.030 --> 0:16:06.640 you're not doing the thing that is making you insecure 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.700 and you know you have to go do taking time 0:16:09.700 --> 0:16:11.560 out of the equation and just doing it is the 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:15.910 greatest response. And that takes a shift. And it definitely 0:16:15.910 --> 0:16:19.030 was a shift early on in Brandon. My relationship, when 0:16:19.030 --> 0:16:23.110 I started saying no to dinners at 830 at night 0:16:23.110 --> 0:16:25.210 because I needed to be in bed at 930. But 0:16:25.210 --> 0:16:27.550 eventually Brandon was just like got on board with it. 0:16:27.550 --> 0:16:30.760 And the dynamic of our relationship and our life changed 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:35.290 for the better because now he he's in love with 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:39.910 somebody who's confident and believes in herself and has done 0:16:39.910 --> 0:16:42.190 what I needed to do to be on the level 0:16:42.190 --> 0:16:47.810 that he was already at. And. It took me a 0:16:47.810 --> 0:16:51.470 really long time to figure that out because I felt 0:16:51.470 --> 0:16:54.380 like I couldn't contribute early on. And so my contribution 0:16:54.380 --> 0:16:56.060 was being there and being the life of the party 0:16:56.060 --> 0:16:59.930 and being his support system and his partner. But it 0:16:59.930 --> 0:17:02.420 really took until COVID to be honest, for me to 0:17:02.420 --> 0:17:07.050 make that that pivot and that switch. To like gain 0:17:07.050 --> 0:17:09.270 the skill sets that I knew I needed to gain 0:17:09.270 --> 0:17:12.270 in order to feel confident and good about myself and 0:17:12.270 --> 0:17:14.580 to contribute the way that I wanted to. And now 0:17:15.150 --> 0:17:19.260 we have a different relationship. But it's phenomenal because I 0:17:19.260 --> 0:17:23.369 have confidence. And if you're not confident right now, I 0:17:23.369 --> 0:17:27.000 would really encourage you to pick the thing that you 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:30.910 are going to get statistics in. That will create confidence 0:17:30.910 --> 0:17:34.600 for you. Because once you once you figure that game out, 0:17:35.590 --> 0:17:37.780 if the person that you love or the person you're 0:17:37.780 --> 0:17:40.210 in relationship with or the people in your life really 0:17:40.210 --> 0:17:43.690 do support you and want you to flourish and prosper 0:17:43.690 --> 0:17:46.060 and to succeed in life, they're going to they're going 0:17:46.060 --> 0:17:48.220 to back you. It might take a minute like you 0:17:48.220 --> 0:17:52.600 have to to be steadfast in the person that you're becoming. 0:17:52.660 --> 0:17:56.800 But the right people will support you. And I know 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:58.480 that I saw that with Brandon and so many people 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:01.120 in my life. I also saw that with people who 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.639 who didn't necessarily want that for me. And they're no 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:06.369 longer really in my life because they couldn't handle that. 0:18:06.369 --> 0:18:08.740 I wouldn't go out with them or that I was 0:18:08.740 --> 0:18:11.739 doing different things and they wanted to stay doing the 0:18:11.740 --> 0:18:14.919 things that they were doing. So that turned into a 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:17.350 little bit of a relationship tangent. But those are the 0:18:17.350 --> 0:18:21.490 things that I learned in January. I am going to 0:18:21.490 --> 0:18:23.770 start writing down what I'm learning in February because February 0:18:23.770 --> 0:18:26.410 has already been a wild month. We're only on day 0:18:26.410 --> 0:18:29.050 two and it's been a wild month. Big learning lessons 0:18:29.050 --> 0:18:33.550 from yesterday. I'm curious to know what you want to 0:18:33.550 --> 0:18:36.660 hear on this podcast. Do you like these more personal things? 0:18:36.670 --> 0:18:39.850 Are there specifics like around the things that I'm talking 0:18:39.850 --> 0:18:42.040 about that you want to know more about? It would 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:44.800 be amazing if you could send me some feedback at 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:49.300 Building Billions podcast. Take the little. It's like literally a 0:18:49.300 --> 0:18:53.530 15 second survey to give me feedback or ask any questions, 0:18:53.530 --> 0:18:57.160 and on the next episode I will totally answer them. 0:18:57.460 --> 0:19:01.630 And also, if you're loving the podcast, don't forget to 0:19:01.630 --> 0:19:06.639 review and share. This episode would mean the world to 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:10.300 me because that's how podcasts grow and it is very 0:19:10.300 --> 0:19:12.910 much my intention to grow this podcast to help as 0:19:12.910 --> 0:19:16.720 many people as I can through things We're talking about 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.230 things we're struggling with, things we're learning. So with that, 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:19.930 can't wait to. 0:19:19.930 --> 0:19:20.979 Talk to you next time.