WEBVTT - EP 56 | Wedding Q&A

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<v S1>Welcome back to Work women. I am particularly excited for

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<v S1>today's episode because we are talking all things wedding. Fun

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<v S1>fact I just got married just a few weeks ago

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<v S1>on ten, ten, 2021 and I documented the whole process

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<v S1>on YouTube. I did a 30 day vlog countdown. So

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<v S1>every day for 30 days, for the 30 days leading

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<v S1>up to the wedding, I was going behind the scenes

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<v S1>as to what was going well, how we were prepping,

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<v S1>how to plan a destination wedding, what you do when

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<v S1>things go wrong, planning for a wedding but on the

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<v S1>tail end. Now that the wedding has happened, I've experienced it.

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<v S1>I've lived through it. Hopefully it is the last one.

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<v S1>Everybody always says, you know, well, what if what if

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<v S1>you could do it again? I'm like, listen, I have

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<v S1>no intention just putting this out there, zero intention whatsoever

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<v S1>of doing this. Again, I learned my lessons. I don't

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<v S1>need to really learn from them for another wedding. However,

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<v S1>you can learn from negative experiences. I would be lying

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<v S1>if I said that there were just only blissful moments

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<v S1>because the reality is shit went wrong. Shit totally went wrong.

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<v S1>I can go into detail about some of the things

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<v S1>that went wrong, but I want to get to your

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<v S1>questions because on Instagram I put out a Q&amp;A response

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<v S1>to get people to ask whatever wedding questions they had.

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<v S1>So today I'm going to be answering all things wedding questions.

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<v S1>Let's get into this first one. Were you nervous for

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<v S1>your wedding? This came from Maria. Were you nervous for

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<v S1>your wedding on the day of. I was pure giddy. Joy. Excitement.

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<v S1>Just like, to be honest. Like I was happy. I

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<v S1>was incredibly happy. Brian and I did not do the

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<v S1>traditional thing where you, like, stay in separate bedrooms. We

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<v S1>stayed in the same bedroom the night before we woke up,

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<v S1>and we were just excited about what was about to happen.

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<v S1>We were looking forward to it. We got to share.

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<v S1>In that moment, I didn't feel like I needed that

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<v S1>time alone. I had plenty of alone moments ahead of

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<v S1>time where I could really just be present for the process,

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<v S1>and I think that that would be my biggest tip.

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<v S1>If you are feeling nervous, or if you feel like

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<v S1>time is just flying by really quickly, I would do

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<v S1>everything that you can to remove distractions. Like I didn't

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<v S1>watch any television leading up to this wedding. Not that

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<v S1>I watch a lot of television to begin with, but

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<v S1>like I wanted time to slow down. That was a

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<v S1>big intention for me. I didn't want it just to

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<v S1>fly by and and everybody always says, oh, it's such

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<v S1>a blur. It's like, well, if everyone says it's such

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<v S1>a blur, how do I make it not a blur?

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<v S1>I don't want it to be a blur. Another piece

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<v S1>on this is if you're nervous, the last thing that

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<v S1>you should do is drink alcohol. I know that when

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<v S1>I've been nervous in the past, like it's just easy.

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<v S1>You feel like maybe. Oh, it'll make you feel a

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<v S1>little better. Absolutely not. On the wedding day, I didn't

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<v S1>drink at all. that night, you know? Let's just, like,

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<v S1>really talk about what didn't go. Well, that might have

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<v S1>something to do with the fact that on Friday night,

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<v S1>what was Sunday night? On Friday night, I just went crazy.

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<v S1>I don't remember the last time that I drank excessively,

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<v S1>like it's probably been since college. It's been years and years.

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<v S1>I do not drink very often, and I just decided

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<v S1>to take eight shots of tequila on Friday night on

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<v S1>the dance floor. And if you know me or have

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<v S1>spent time around me, me taking one shot is something

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<v S1>that you've likely never seen ever. Unless maybe you went

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<v S1>to college together. Even then, I didn't drink very much,

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<v S1>so I just decided to have the greatest time possible

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<v S1>on Friday night. I'm very thankful that I did that.

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<v S1>I had a blast. Like, I was just it's hard to,

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<v S1>you know, continue to say I'm happy, but I was

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<v S1>just so happy. So if you're nervous the day of

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<v S1>again recommendation don't drink. Remove distractions. Try to be as

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<v S1>present as possible because as you're approaching your wedding, everybody

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<v S1>will talk about how much of a blur it is.

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<v S1>And I just wanted to make the active, conscious decision. Hey,

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<v S1>wait a second. It is not going to be a blur.

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<v S1>All right, let's see what other questions we got here.

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<v S1>Have you adjusted to the word husband yet instead of fiance?

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<v S1>That's an interesting question. Uh, yes, I have adjusted. Brian

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<v S1>and I have been together for many, many years, and

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<v S1>I've viewed him as a bigger role than just fiance

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<v S1>for a long, long time prior to us getting engaged.

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<v S1>I think the reason that Brandon proposed, he says that

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<v S1>he was always planning it, but I called BS on

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<v S1>this prior to him proposing to me. We drove into

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<v S1>this community that we are a part of in Mexico,

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<v S1>and I was driving the car and I had to say, hey,

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<v S1>it's Natalie Workman. Brandon Dawson and I are going to

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<v S1>the ledges. That's the community place or. And the guy

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<v S1>asked me, what's your relationship to the owner? And I said, girlfriend,

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<v S1>because at the time, even though we got the place together.

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<v S1>I was the girlfriend and he was like, you're not

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<v S1>my girlfriend. It's like, yeah, actually, technically I am your girlfriend.

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<v S1>So it moved from girlfriend for like 4 or 5

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<v S1>years to fiancée for almost three years, and now husband.

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<v S1>But we've been business partners. We are best friends. He

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<v S1>is my mentor. Like the role thing. He's still that

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<v S1>same person. But I would say that. What's changed? Question

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<v S1>number three. Uh, Aaron asked, what's changed since you got married?

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<v S1>What's changed is we are in this together. We have

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<v S1>always been 100% locked in together to each other, but

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<v S1>more than anything, it sets the tone for everybody else

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<v S1>around us that we are in alignment. We are in

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<v S1>this for the long haul. We are committed to each other.

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<v S1>Brian and I have a 25 year age difference, and

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<v S1>I was very nervous and insecure about what people thought

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<v S1>of us when they looked at us. I no longer

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<v S1>have those same insecurities like on a daily basis. I

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<v S1>might think about it like once every couple of months

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<v S1>when something comes up. But the idea of being a partner,

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<v S1>like legally by the state of Florida, like we're recognized

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<v S1>as a couple. And once that transition is made, not

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<v S1>to us, but to everyone else. I do think that

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<v S1>there is something different. I do feel different. It's not like, oh,

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<v S1>it's just the same as when we were fiancés or

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<v S1>when we were just dating like, no, we're freaking husband

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<v S1>and wife in every single day. When you hear the

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<v S1>weight of a husband or a wife, it's a new role.

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<v S1>It's a new set of responsibilities. It was never like

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<v S1>we were going to go in or out of the relationship,

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<v S1>but there's like no outs any longer. I like to

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<v S1>reference Wedding Crashers, one of my favorite movies growing up,

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<v S1>when I think her name is Elsa Fisher, the redhead,

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<v S1>she's like, I will find you. She like, does this

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<v S1>little thing will please drop that audio in here? Because

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<v S1>it's hilarious.

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<v S2>You're amazing. Oh, God, I think you're amazing. Oh, my God.

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<v S3>Don't ever leave me. Ever. good because I'd find you.

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<v S1>I say that to him all the time. I'm like, listen,

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<v S1>if you ever tried to do anything like pull out

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<v S1>the creepy little voice and tell him I will find him,

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<v S1>and then he laughs hysterically, I will bring him back

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<v S1>on here because you should watch the face. Maybe it's laughing.

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<v S1>Maybe it's like a little bit of terror. I'm not

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<v S1>really sure. It doesn't matter because guess what? We are

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<v S1>committed and that is a very important differentiator with being married.

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<v S1>I did not always think that that was going to

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<v S1>be the case for what I wanted, but am so

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<v S1>glad and like, feel very proud that that was the

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<v S1>right decision for us and for anybody who is looking

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<v S1>to take the next step in their relationship. All right,

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<v S1>let's get into some more questions. Mike, Lulu asked, why

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<v S1>did you marry Brandon and how did you meet him?

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<v S1>I trust Brandon implicitly. Brandon has had the greatest impact

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<v S1>on my life single, single handedly out of anybody that

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<v S1>I've ever met. He inspires me every single day. He

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<v S1>pushes me. He doesn't listen to excuses that I come

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<v S1>up with. He doesn't allow me to think that I'm

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<v S1>not worthy of things he like. He really is the

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<v S1>greatest mentor, but then also friend I've ever had. I've

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<v S1>always struggled having girlfriends growing up. Like there was just some,

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<v S1>like in high school and middle school, I just I'm

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<v S1>not one of those self-proclaimed like guys, girls. Like, I

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<v S1>really wanted girlfriends, but I just never had a true

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<v S1>best friend or a group of girls who were really supportive.

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<v S1>And when Brandon and I first started dating, and still

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<v S1>to this day, it's like he's my freaking best friend.

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<v S1>We can be doing anything, anywhere, in any part of

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<v S1>the world together, and we're good when it's just the

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<v S1>two of us. And so there was never this moment

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<v S1>where it was like a light bulb. Like, I know

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<v S1>that you were going to be the person that I'm

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<v S1>with forever. It was just a long, slow build of

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<v S1>confidence and trust and going after goals and being committed

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<v S1>to the future. That made us pretty easily decide like, hey,

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<v S1>let's let's make this thing official, let's move forward with

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<v S1>all of this. So that's why I married him now

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<v S1>how I met him. What a story. I'm going to

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<v S1>give you the truncated version of the story because it

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<v S1>could get a little lengthy. I was 12 years old

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<v S1>at a Super Bowl party that my parents threw. That's

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<v S1>really like the punchline of the whole thing. We did

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<v S1>not start dating when I was 12, however. He was

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<v S1>my neighbor and he had just recently moved into the neighborhood.

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<v S1>I started working for him about a decade later. We

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<v S1>were working on this leadership project, and it was really

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<v S1>the first time that I'd ever heard of personal development

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<v S1>and personal growth and how you can improve yourself. And so,

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<v S1>through his leadership content, I was responsible for cutting up

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<v S1>the videos and taking notes and restructuring some of his content.

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<v S1>And through learning his content, I was like, wow, I've

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<v S1>really made changes in myself. And he and I continued

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<v S1>to connect over growth and development. So it's funny. Fast

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<v S1>forward almost a decade like this is what we do

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<v S1>for a living. We help people grow and develop. But

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<v S1>that's initially why I was working with him was to

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<v S1>work on this project, and now it really is what

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<v S1>we do as our life's work together. So that's the

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<v S1>that's the short story. If you ever see Brandon in person,

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<v S1>he'll give you the long story, which is also very

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<v S1>fun and entertaining. All right. Let's see the other questions.

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<v S1>Sariah asked. What is the most what was the most

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<v S1>surreal moment for you being in Cabo and having the

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<v S1>most incredible people around to celebrate? This is a big

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<v S1>one for me. If you are not married, if you

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<v S1>are thinking of getting married, if you're recently divorced, I

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<v S1>would recommend adopting this philosophy that I took into this marriage.

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<v S1>I waited for years and years and years. We've been

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<v S1>together for a very long time. But I waited to

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<v S1>get married. I did not push it. I did not

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<v S1>want this wedding until I was who I wanted to be.

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<v S1>And a reflection of me or any person is the

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<v S1>group of people that they have around them. And I

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<v S1>have great family and I have a handful of friends,

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<v S1>but I five, eight years ago was not the same

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<v S1>person that I am today. I didn't have a group

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<v S1>of people who were supportive of me. I didn't have

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<v S1>a group of people that would push me. I didn't

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<v S1>have a large group that I was like, wow, these

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<v S1>are the people that I'm going to keep in my

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<v S1>life and that are going to continue to grow and

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<v S1>develop with me. And so for the longest time, I

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<v S1>was just like, you know, I'm not ready to have

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<v S1>this wedding because I want that wedding to be the future.

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<v S1>I want to be able to look at these people

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<v S1>and say, wow, they are responsible for helping me grow.

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<v S1>And when we showed up in Cabo, I think the

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<v S1>most overwhelming thing for Brandon and I is just the

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<v S1>quality of the people that were there. For me. That's

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<v S1>what it was. It was I have made a significant

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<v S1>amount of sacrifices over the last eight years. I've had

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<v S1>to cut people out of my life over the last

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<v S1>eight years to get to where I am today and

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<v S1>to to have people who do love me and do

0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:09.250
<v S1>support me around and and celebrating that moment. Like, I

0:12:09.250 --> 0:12:12.339
<v S1>think the question was spot on, like the moment was

0:12:12.340 --> 0:12:16.300
<v S1>surreal and it was really rewarding and gratifying for the

0:12:16.300 --> 0:12:18.940
<v S1>work that both Brandon and I have done for the

0:12:18.940 --> 0:12:20.650
<v S1>time that we've been together, in order to be able

0:12:20.650 --> 0:12:24.790
<v S1>to create an experience like that. Pablo asked, how did

0:12:24.790 --> 0:12:29.320
<v S1>you determine a wedding budget and what to spend it on?

0:12:29.770 --> 0:12:33.520
<v S1>This is a hot topic for weddings, to be honest

0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.699
<v S1>with you. When Brandon and I both initially saw the

0:12:36.700 --> 0:12:41.829
<v S1>price of this wedding, I was like, abso fucking lutely not. Like, no,

0:12:41.830 --> 0:12:45.309
<v S1>we are not spending that much on an event for

0:12:45.340 --> 0:12:48.930
<v S1>a weekend. I don't care that much about a wedding. Like, really,

0:12:48.929 --> 0:12:51.510
<v S1>I'm not one of those, like, wedding girls. And then

0:12:51.510 --> 0:12:54.209
<v S1>all of a sudden we saw the images and we

0:12:54.210 --> 0:12:57.240
<v S1>were sold on it. Like, we got sold on all

0:12:57.270 --> 0:13:00.989
<v S1>of the different wedding things, and we really didn't stress

0:13:00.990 --> 0:13:04.110
<v S1>around that. Initially, though, we were just I mean, we

0:13:04.140 --> 0:13:06.390
<v S1>were like, let's just elope. There's no need to to

0:13:06.420 --> 0:13:09.689
<v S1>spend this much money on something because it's an investment.

0:13:09.690 --> 0:13:11.850
<v S1>And if Brandon and I weren't in the financial position

0:13:11.850 --> 0:13:16.709
<v S1>that we are in today, I would categorically, absolutely tell somebody,

0:13:16.710 --> 0:13:19.410
<v S1>you should not spend money on this. Spend money on

0:13:19.410 --> 0:13:21.929
<v S1>a ten year anniversary when you have created wealth, when

0:13:21.929 --> 0:13:24.870
<v S1>you have created a business, when there's something that you're

0:13:24.870 --> 0:13:28.020
<v S1>able to really like from a financial standpoint sink into,

0:13:28.020 --> 0:13:30.689
<v S1>if you have these big, grandiose dreams about what your

0:13:30.690 --> 0:13:33.270
<v S1>wedding looks like. In my previous podcast on this, you

0:13:33.270 --> 0:13:36.450
<v S1>could go to it a couple episodes back called Wedding

0:13:36.450 --> 0:13:40.679
<v S1>Planning from Hell. We talk about where we did intentionally

0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:44.040
<v S1>spend money. One of those items was having this big

0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:47.090
<v S1>house for everybody to spend time in. We wanted to

0:13:47.090 --> 0:13:49.939
<v S1>be able to connect with people. It wasn't just, oh,

0:13:49.970 --> 0:13:52.910
<v S1>here's a spectacular event. To me, the least fun part

0:13:52.940 --> 0:13:55.640
<v S1>of the whole wedding was the actual wedding. Like, yes,

0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.679
<v S1>it was beautiful and all of that, but I really

0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.480
<v S1>wanted to spend time with people that we love. That

0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:01.520
<v S1>was the purpose for me. It wasn't just to have

0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:04.670
<v S1>these photos and these videos of and these moments of

0:14:04.670 --> 0:14:08.449
<v S1>the event. And so if you are going to invest

0:14:08.450 --> 0:14:10.880
<v S1>and choose to spend your hard earned money on an

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.990
<v S1>event like this, I would highly, highly, highly prioritize. Like,

0:14:15.020 --> 0:14:17.840
<v S1>what are the moments that you can bring people together

0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.710
<v S1>to truly celebrate? This goes back to the previous question.

0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:23.869
<v S1>If you don't like the people that you're going to

0:14:23.870 --> 0:14:27.560
<v S1>be spending time with and celebrating with, don't do it.

0:14:27.590 --> 0:14:32.780
<v S1>Don't put yourself in this very traditional wedding structure just

0:14:32.780 --> 0:14:35.570
<v S1>so that you can spend time with people who aren't

0:14:35.570 --> 0:14:38.720
<v S1>really supportive of you, who aren't on the same page,

0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.660
<v S1>who aren't going in the same direction. Speaking of going

0:14:41.660 --> 0:14:44.870
<v S1>in the same direction, Brian and I have been coaching

0:14:44.870 --> 0:14:48.350
<v S1>couples for the last few years around. How do you

0:14:48.350 --> 0:14:50.600
<v S1>get in alignment with each other when it comes to

0:14:50.630 --> 0:14:54.110
<v S1>spending decisions? When it comes to business decisions and personal decisions,

0:14:54.140 --> 0:14:57.290
<v S1>like what do you do to create that alignment? We've

0:14:57.290 --> 0:15:01.910
<v S1>created this alignment guide and I would love to give

0:15:01.910 --> 0:15:05.300
<v S1>it to you for free. You can access it at

0:15:05.300 --> 0:15:13.190
<v S1>Cardinal ventures.com/alignment that is Cardinal ventures.com/alignment in order to get

0:15:13.190 --> 0:15:16.190
<v S1>this free downloadable as to how to take the next

0:15:16.190 --> 0:15:19.940
<v S1>steps in conversations with a significant other or partner. Some

0:15:19.940 --> 0:15:24.800
<v S1>sort of business partner for getting in alignment together. With that,

0:15:24.980 --> 0:15:27.560
<v S1>I hope you enjoyed all things wedding. I'm definitely getting

0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.920
<v S1>used to Natalie Dawson. It's true that it is a

0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:34.100
<v S1>little bit difficult to get all of these things changed,

0:15:34.100 --> 0:15:38.300
<v S1>and to update your last name everywhere. My recommendation is

0:15:38.300 --> 0:15:42.320
<v S1>it is certainly worth it. And the final note on

0:15:42.350 --> 0:15:47.090
<v S1>This Is the Work Woman podcast will not be experiencing

0:15:47.090 --> 0:15:50.960
<v S1>any name changes. We are not going to be doing work.

0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:54.590
<v S1>Dawson work. Manson like none of that is happening. It

0:15:54.590 --> 0:15:57.530
<v S1>is still staying as work. Woman. Even though my last

0:15:57.530 --> 0:16:02.240
<v S1>name is Workman has changed because I'm still a work woman.

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:06.020
<v S1>And if you are an ambitious female in the workplace

0:16:06.020 --> 0:16:08.690
<v S1>who is a leader who is aspiring to be a leader,

0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.730
<v S1>this is the place for you. I love that you're here.

0:16:10.730 --> 0:16:14.480
<v S1>I so appreciate the loyal group of people who listen

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.750
<v S1>to this show. If this podcast has made an impact

0:16:17.750 --> 0:16:22.700
<v S1>on you, please do me the greatest favor by sharing it,

0:16:22.700 --> 0:16:26.630
<v S1>by ensuring that you're subscribed. And if you love it,

0:16:26.660 --> 0:16:29.270
<v S1>leave a review. I can hardly wait to see you

0:16:29.270 --> 0:16:32.360
<v S1>next Tuesday on work! Woman.