WEBVTT - How to handle a dispute with your partner 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:07.680 Welcome back to Building Billions. I want to talk today 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:12.660 about all things disputes. Have you ever gotten in a 0:00:12.660 --> 0:00:18.150 dispute with your partner, a business partner, your life partner? Well, 0:00:18.150 --> 0:00:21.599 especially business partners. I happen to be in business with 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:23.669 my life partner. We are business partners. We are also 0:00:23.670 --> 0:00:27.600 life partners. And we have lots of partners that we 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.720 do business with where we own a portion of their organization. 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:34.440 And so this episode of Building Billions is all about 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:39.900 how you settle disputes with your partners. Enjoy. Let's talk 0:00:39.900 --> 0:00:44.820 about how do you settle a dispute with your partner. Now? 0:00:44.820 --> 0:00:49.140 I work with thousands of business owners. We have a 0:00:49.140 --> 0:00:54.540 company with all sorts of different partnership agreements. We own businesses. 0:00:54.540 --> 0:00:56.850 And this is one of those tricky things that a 0:00:56.850 --> 0:00:59.220 lot of stuff goes behind the scenes, goes on behind 0:00:59.220 --> 0:01:03.120 the scenes as it relates to structuring partner agreements. And 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:05.190 we give a lot of advice around how do you 0:01:05.190 --> 0:01:08.700 enter a relationship where both parties are excited about it 0:01:08.700 --> 0:01:11.399 but also know what the structure looks like? However, we've 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.100 never really created content around what happens when there is 0:01:14.100 --> 0:01:16.259 a dispute. What do you do when there's a falling out, 0:01:16.260 --> 0:01:21.360 especially when there's family involved? I happen to work alongside 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.450 my business partner and also my life partner who is 0:01:24.450 --> 0:01:28.649 my husband. And we have this very clear process that 0:01:28.650 --> 0:01:30.990 we go through. If ever there is an issue that 0:01:30.990 --> 0:01:34.080 we're encountering and we use the same process with all 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:37.650 of the partners that we have inside our portfolio to 0:01:37.650 --> 0:01:40.860 just navigate the disputes or the issues or the frustrations 0:01:40.860 --> 0:01:43.620 that can come up. Because if you're growing your business, 0:01:43.620 --> 0:01:45.540 there are going to be issues like, I'm just going 0:01:45.540 --> 0:01:48.420 to stay and say it bluntly. If there are issues 0:01:48.420 --> 0:01:49.680 or if you want to grow your business, there are 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:51.900 going to be issues. So if you know that there 0:01:51.900 --> 0:01:53.520 are going to be issues, you have to have a 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:57.570 mechanism for handling what those issues are. And it can't 0:01:57.570 --> 0:02:01.230 just be about feeling it can't be about emotion because 0:02:01.230 --> 0:02:03.900 all of those things distract from what you're trying to do, 0:02:03.900 --> 0:02:05.370 which you have to remember what you're trying to do. Like, 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:09.150 why did you start this business? You started it likely 0:02:09.150 --> 0:02:12.180 because you wanted to grow. And so I want to 0:02:12.180 --> 0:02:15.359 walk you through our process for when there's an issue, 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.510 when there's a frustration inside a partnership that either we 0:02:18.510 --> 0:02:20.910 have or maybe even I'll give you some examples of 0:02:20.910 --> 0:02:24.900 our own frustrations inside our own partnership, which might get 0:02:24.900 --> 0:02:27.090 a little juicy. But don't worry, Brandon's on board with 0:02:27.090 --> 0:02:31.020 me sharing, so let's dive into it. My first piece 0:02:31.020 --> 0:02:34.050 of advice on bringing up any sort of issue that 0:02:34.050 --> 0:02:37.020 you're running into with a partner is that you do 0:02:37.020 --> 0:02:40.020 everything that you can in preparation for this conversation to 0:02:40.020 --> 0:02:44.040 use facts instead of emotion. Now, it shouldn't feel like 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.740 a dissertation of these are the 45 things that you've 0:02:46.740 --> 0:02:50.620 done wrong. However, you should know what your numbers are. 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.190 You should know the details of whatever the exchanges that 0:02:53.190 --> 0:02:55.620 you're frustrated with. You should really be able to come 0:02:55.620 --> 0:02:58.019 to that meeting prepared to talk about a very specific 0:02:58.020 --> 0:03:01.740 list of things. Don't throw every single issue in the 0:03:01.740 --> 0:03:04.620 petty little stuff ideally is just not even talked about. 0:03:04.620 --> 0:03:07.590 It's not you're not worrying about the petty stuff, but 0:03:07.590 --> 0:03:11.760 the big things need to have great documentation and great 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.610 preparation so that you're not winging it. And I can 0:03:14.610 --> 0:03:18.120 speak from personal experience on this whenever I'm emotional about 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:22.350 something and I'm emotional about partnerships, not all the time, 0:03:22.350 --> 0:03:24.630 but it happens from time to time. There was an 0:03:24.630 --> 0:03:28.290 instance that happened within the last three months that I 0:03:28.290 --> 0:03:31.380 was very emotional about, and I was frustrated with the situation. 0:03:31.380 --> 0:03:35.730 And I knew that despite me wanting to call the 0:03:35.730 --> 0:03:38.880 person up right in the middle of my frustration and 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.480 my irritation and my overwhelm, I knew that I just 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.600 needed to wait and to get every detail that I 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:48.540 needed to have in order to properly have the conversation. 0:03:48.540 --> 0:03:51.000 Because if I would have just called them when I 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:54.360 was emotional, it would have turned into this big nasty fight. 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:56.460 And I don't know about you, but I hate getting 0:03:56.460 --> 0:03:58.890 in fights with people. I don't like being frustrated. I 0:03:58.890 --> 0:04:01.410 don't like people not liking me. I just want to 0:04:01.410 --> 0:04:05.550 go through every single day being excited about where we're going, 0:04:05.550 --> 0:04:08.430 pushing towards the target, being hard on the team so 0:04:08.430 --> 0:04:10.620 that everybody can achieve their goals. And when you have 0:04:10.620 --> 0:04:13.619 these issues and you bring emotion into it, it clouds 0:04:13.620 --> 0:04:18.000 everything else. So huge recommendation here. Use facts and if 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:24.390 you're emotional, wait, just wait to have the conversation. Okay. Now, 0:04:24.390 --> 0:04:26.610 the second piece, let me just consult my notes here. 0:04:26.610 --> 0:04:30.540 This one is important. When you come into an agreement 0:04:30.540 --> 0:04:32.789 with a partner, it's not likely that you were really 0:04:32.790 --> 0:04:35.550 clear on who was doing what in terms of job 0:04:35.550 --> 0:04:38.760 descriptions or roles and responsibilities. Now, there might have been 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.539 like vague communications around this, but the things that you're 0:04:42.540 --> 0:04:47.070 fighting about probably aren't documented anywhere. Meaning if I'm fighting 0:04:47.070 --> 0:04:48.720 about something that I thought I was supposed to be 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.390 doing and they're doing something that they're not supposed to 0:04:51.390 --> 0:04:54.120 be doing, but it's involving me or maybe it's involving 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.810 my team. The nuances of that probably wasn't documented anywhere. 0:04:57.810 --> 0:05:01.560 So when I'm preparing for a conversation like this, I 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:04.140 want to get really clear about, Hey, what's my role 0:05:04.140 --> 0:05:07.740 in this situation? If I'm the president of Cartoon Ventures, 0:05:07.740 --> 0:05:10.890 what is the president's role in the business? What is 0:05:10.890 --> 0:05:13.589 the purview of the decisions that I should be making? 0:05:13.589 --> 0:05:15.870 So let's say Bran and I are having a discussion 0:05:15.870 --> 0:05:18.719 and we're frustrated because he's stepping on my toes or 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:22.110 I'm stepping on his toes. And the business just feels hard. 0:05:22.110 --> 0:05:25.230 And we're married, but we're also partners. What I'm going 0:05:25.230 --> 0:05:27.270 to do is I'm going to say, okay, as president 0:05:27.270 --> 0:05:30.810 of Cardinal Ventures, this is what I'm responsible for. My 0:05:30.810 --> 0:05:34.740 understanding as CEO is this is what you're responsible for. 0:05:34.740 --> 0:05:39.419 You are encroaching on my responsibilities. So is it because 0:05:39.420 --> 0:05:41.250 you don't trust me in this area? Is it because 0:05:41.250 --> 0:05:43.920 I don't have statistics in this area? What is causing 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:47.340 you to not focus on your job but do my job? 0:05:47.339 --> 0:05:51.060 Or if the opposite is taking place, let's say I'm 0:05:51.270 --> 0:05:54.480 negotiating some deal and I didn't bring Brandon into the 0:05:54.510 --> 0:05:56.730 into the deal. And it was something that he was 0:05:56.730 --> 0:05:59.580 supposed to be working on. I bypassed him for some reason. 0:05:59.670 --> 0:06:01.380 I would have to then look at his job description 0:06:01.380 --> 0:06:04.229 and say, Yeah, you're right, I did that. And let's 0:06:04.230 --> 0:06:07.500 say I, I frustrated him in the process because I 0:06:07.500 --> 0:06:08.909 didn't keep him in the loop. And then he looked 0:06:08.910 --> 0:06:11.820 silly talking to somebody else I would have to own. 0:06:11.820 --> 0:06:15.240 You're right. I did do your job. And in our 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:19.109 little scenario, what would be really important is for me 0:06:19.110 --> 0:06:20.730 to say, I don't want you to have to do 0:06:20.730 --> 0:06:22.740 those things any longer because I think I can handle 0:06:22.740 --> 0:06:24.930 them and I'd like to take that off your plate. 0:06:24.930 --> 0:06:26.940 But if I didn't communicate that ahead of time and 0:06:26.940 --> 0:06:30.810 we didn't get clarity on who's responsible for what and why, 0:06:30.810 --> 0:06:34.240 the stepping on toes is taking place, that's where all 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.840 of the frustration lands and that's where all the emotion lands. 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:41.280 So having these job descriptions, although it sounds ridiculous, is 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:45.719 so beneficial to constructively moving the conversation forward. Because if 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.350 you believe in your partnership, most partnership conversations and in 0:06:49.350 --> 0:06:54.060 fights about money. So if it's how you're managing expenses, 0:06:54.060 --> 0:06:57.450 if it's what your travel and expense policy looks like, 0:06:57.450 --> 0:07:00.300 if it's how you're taking and distributing cash out of 0:07:00.300 --> 0:07:03.900 the business, all of those financial components, if you're the 0:07:03.900 --> 0:07:06.929 person that's responsible financially for the organization, then you should 0:07:06.930 --> 0:07:09.900 have clear documentation and policies in place and that is 0:07:09.900 --> 0:07:13.140 in your purview. Ideally, you guys are in 5050 and 0:07:13.140 --> 0:07:15.120 this is where we we have the most issues with 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:20.010 business owners. They got into a partnership agreement. They were 5050. 0:07:20.010 --> 0:07:25.020 Everything was lollipops and rainbows and fantastic at the start. 0:07:25.020 --> 0:07:28.740 And all of a sudden they are fighting because they 0:07:28.740 --> 0:07:31.390 don't see eye to eye. And the 5050 doesn't allow 0:07:31.390 --> 0:07:33.130 one of them to have more say than the other. 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:35.200 This is where you have to use the job description 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:37.360 to say, Hey, I'm proposing that this is my role 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:39.310 and that this is your role, and we have to 0:07:39.310 --> 0:07:42.130 figure out who is actually responsible for making these decisions. 0:07:42.130 --> 0:07:44.710 Because the only thing what is this saying? I'm going 0:07:44.710 --> 0:07:47.590 to mess it up. The only thing worse than a 0:07:47.590 --> 0:07:53.290 bad general is two good ones. The only thing worse 0:07:53.290 --> 0:07:57.130 than one bad general is two good generals because you 0:07:57.130 --> 0:07:59.680 can't make a decision and then you're gridlocked and no 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:01.570 one knows who to go to for what. And it 0:08:01.570 --> 0:08:05.260 feels like mommy and daddy that kills the growth inside 0:08:05.260 --> 0:08:15.340 of business. Okay, so the next thing after you have 0:08:15.340 --> 0:08:18.370 your prep, you have your job description. When you have 0:08:18.370 --> 0:08:22.750 this conversation, you start with the intention. And the intention 0:08:22.750 --> 0:08:26.710 should always be, We're here to make this work. We 0:08:26.710 --> 0:08:29.110 are on the same team. We want the same thing. 0:08:29.110 --> 0:08:31.150 I want to figure out what we can do to 0:08:31.150 --> 0:08:34.540 make this work because I believe that there is always 0:08:34.540 --> 0:08:36.970 a way to make it work. So when you start 0:08:36.970 --> 0:08:40.240 off the conversation like that, instead of being heated and frustrated, 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:42.250 you're like, Hey, wait, we're just going to recenter. We 0:08:42.250 --> 0:08:44.230 want to make this work. What would we have to 0:08:44.230 --> 0:08:48.310 do knowing the problem to make it work? What would 0:08:48.309 --> 0:08:50.230 that have to look like? And then you can start 0:08:50.230 --> 0:08:53.679 from that place instead of potentially starting with a dissolution. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:56.500 Like in my partnership with my husband, there is no 0:08:56.500 --> 0:08:59.470 potential of dissolution. We are in this thing. We are 0:08:59.470 --> 0:09:03.850 figuring this thing out. But it's worth reminding in partnership conversations, 0:09:03.850 --> 0:09:07.449 whether it's with your significant other, your business partner or 0:09:07.450 --> 0:09:11.080 any other partnership, that there is high stakes communication that's 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:14.740 on line. Clarify that your intention is to make it 0:09:14.740 --> 0:09:16.809 work and that's the place that you're coming from. That 0:09:16.809 --> 0:09:22.059 is your responsibility. Now, once you're clarifying that, that's your intention. 0:09:23.290 --> 0:09:27.459 Ideal scene is that you actually have contractual clarity. So 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:31.210 whoever is the managing member of the organization gets to 0:09:31.210 --> 0:09:34.179 make the final decision. There was some provision in place 0:09:34.179 --> 0:09:37.690 that stated what things had to be signed off on 0:09:37.690 --> 0:09:41.319 from both partners versus the managing member. Getting to make 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:45.250 other decisions like those type of things in the communication 0:09:45.250 --> 0:09:49.210 should be brought up. If you do have contractual clarity that, Hey, 0:09:49.210 --> 0:09:51.490 this is what I'm supposed to do, so I need 0:09:51.490 --> 0:09:54.490 to be doing this. And if it's if you're preventing 0:09:54.490 --> 0:09:57.250 me from doing it contractually, this is what's supposed to happen. 0:09:57.250 --> 0:09:59.770 So what do we need to fix? Because this is 0:09:59.770 --> 0:10:01.540 the contract. This is what we all signed up for. 0:10:01.540 --> 0:10:06.620 This is what we agreed to. Um. My last piece 0:10:06.620 --> 0:10:10.520 on this, as you're going through an issue with the partner, ideally, 0:10:10.670 --> 0:10:14.780 the first conversation that you bring up solves the issue, right? 0:10:14.780 --> 0:10:16.640 You have a three hour meeting or a four hour 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:18.980 meeting or whatever the amount of time is for you 0:10:18.980 --> 0:10:22.400 to sit down and to work through the problems. But 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:24.439 in all reality, in the way that I've always seen 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.350 this play out, it's not just one conversation that fixes things. 0:10:27.350 --> 0:10:32.150 It's multiple conversations. It's changing operating agreements. It's potentially changing 0:10:32.150 --> 0:10:37.459 a contract or employment agreements. There's there's there's legs that 0:10:37.790 --> 0:10:44.020 challenges can create, right? There's legs that that disputes create. 0:10:44.030 --> 0:10:49.640 So as you're going through this process, just remember that 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:52.970 you are supposed to keep the main thing, the main 0:10:52.970 --> 0:10:55.880 thing with your team. So they should not have any 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.190 wind of this. Your team, you show up to all 0:10:58.190 --> 0:11:01.370 of your meetings, you have conversations with all of your 0:11:01.370 --> 0:11:04.010 leaders the exact same as you would have before. There 0:11:04.010 --> 0:11:08.510 is no conversation around it. There's no nattering about it. 0:11:08.510 --> 0:11:11.450 There's no like, oh, I'm so overwhelmed. I can't make decisions. 0:11:11.450 --> 0:11:15.050 Keep making the right decisions, make the ethical decisions, make 0:11:15.050 --> 0:11:19.219 the decisions that are in the best course for the organization, 0:11:19.220 --> 0:11:21.140 because that is the right thing to do. Even if 0:11:21.140 --> 0:11:24.890 you could start making shady decisions, do not make shady decisions. 0:11:24.890 --> 0:11:27.410 Whenever I have like there's like these little moments where 0:11:27.410 --> 0:11:29.479 I'm like, Oh man, I could really jack things up 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:31.370 right now. I think that every once in a while 0:11:31.370 --> 0:11:33.560 I'm like, not an angel all the time. And then 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:37.069 I'm like, Wait a second, I am highly ethical. I 0:11:37.070 --> 0:11:40.670 am a moral. I have integrity. I want the best 0:11:40.670 --> 0:11:44.720 for everybody involved. There is no there's no issue that 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:47.240 I want to create. I want everybody to succeed. But 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.280 sometimes you have to remember, you remember that and remind 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.400 yourself of that when there's real life stuff happening in 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:56.130 business partnerships. So despite all of those feelings and all 0:11:56.130 --> 0:11:59.120 of the leverage that you could have be ethical in 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:02.059 the process and treat somebody how you would want to 0:12:02.059 --> 0:12:06.439 be treated if you were in that same position. So 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.860 those are my tips on what you do when you're 0:12:09.860 --> 0:12:13.130 having a dispute or an issue with your business partners. 0:12:13.130 --> 0:12:16.579 I'm curious to know what challenges have you run into 0:12:16.580 --> 0:12:19.190 with business partners? I've seen a lot of them, but 0:12:19.190 --> 0:12:22.100 I'm sure you've had some pretty unique experiences, so let 0:12:22.100 --> 0:12:24.530 me know in the comments. All right. I hope you 0:12:24.530 --> 0:12:27.079 enjoyed this episode. For those of you who didn't know, 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:31.880 this was originally a YouTube video that I recorded. So 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.550 if you're not already following me on YouTube, if you 0:12:34.550 --> 0:12:38.240 haven't subscribed, if you're interested in watching the content instead 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.000 of just hearing it, I would highly recommend you go 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:45.320 to my YouTube channel, get subscribed, watch this video, take 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.960 some notes and you're going to get some awesome content 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:51.589 on YouTube that is exclusive to YouTube only. Enjoy.