S1: Welcome back to Building Billions. Another month has gone by.
S1: So let's talk about what I learned in the month
S1: of May. Statistics matter. So I want to start off
S1: by sharing a little statistic in our business. Right now
S1: it is Friday, June 2nd at 2:24 p.m.. And we
S1: closed out the month of May 30th, $6,000 shy of
S1: our biggest month in the history of our organization. I
S1: want to start off with that, because what I'm about
S1: to say for all of the preceding points feel like
S1: heavy lessons learned. Like just like shit that happened in
S1: the month of May. But When you're winning, you got
S1: to put things in context. You have to put things
S1: in context. And maybe, maybe that's lesson number one. Put
S1: things in context. Sure, you can feel like you just
S1: got beat up, but if you're winning and your life
S1: is doing better and you have statistics to show that
S1: it's okay, I will take the freaking beating. I will
S1: take the pressure. I will take the stress. I will
S1: take the just uncomfortability to be honest with you. There's
S1: so many things happening right now where I just feel
S1: myself evolving and being pushed and pushing myself and just
S1: like I'm freaking uncomfortable. And at the end of the day,
S1: the discomfort only is worthwhile when results happen. And so
S1: before I just talk about all of the stuff that's
S1: not going great or all the things that I learned
S1: because I fell on my face this month. This is,
S1: I believe, how you should look at everything. It's like, man,
S1: would I do all of that over again? Would I
S1: learn all of these lessons over again in order to
S1: have the results. And the answer is yes, undoubtedly, of course.
S1: But when you're going after big things, it's easy to forget.
S1: And I'll speak from personal experience. It's really easy to
S1: forget that you're choosing your problems, like you're choosing how
S1: difficult it is. You're choosing the pressure that you're under.
S1: You're choosing the stress. And last weekend I was in
S1: Cabo with my husband, Brandon, and it was nice for
S1: two days to just get away to talk about our goals.
S1: But both of us, when we were gone, still just
S1: feel an immense amount of pressure and push and lack
S1: of just contentment in where we're at because we know
S1: what our potential is. And when we do get away,
S1: all we talk about is what the opportunity is and
S1: what the potential is. So then it's just kind of
S1: this cyclical thing where we're then upset because we're not
S1: there yet. But contextually, if you would have told us
S1: that where we're at today, five years ago, would be
S1: where we are, I would have broken down in the
S1: happiest tears to know that like I became what I
S1: wanted to become in my life. And I think stats
S1: really make that evident. And if you're not willing to
S1: measure some measure, things go back to my last podcast
S1: about how I dropped or how I added 10% mass
S1: muscle mass and dropped. I think it was 8% body fat.
S1: Like the measuring things matter. If you haven't heard that one,
S1: it's a fantastic podcast to go back to the previous episode,
S1: but on to what I learned in the month of May.
S1: So being liked this idea of being liked for the
S1: longest time, at least the last four years since starting
S1: Cardone Ventures, I have altogether rejected this idea of being liked.
S1: And in order to become who I have become over
S1: the past few years, I really had to compartmentalize people's opinions,
S1: people's thoughts about me, and just like, take massive action
S1: towards this goal. And I've been very hard on myself.
S1: I've been very hard on the people around me, and
S1: I'm very thankful for just the pressure that I've applied
S1: into my own life. Um, I just realized I never
S1: finished the Cabo story. Uh, point about the Cabo story.
S1: Going back a second, uh, we could be, like, living
S1: on a beach in Cabo. We have enough money for
S1: the rest of our lives to just, like, hang out
S1: on a beach. And we don't because we do have
S1: all of this pressure. And I guess this does lead
S1: into this whole being, like, thing. We put this pressure
S1: on ourselves. You as a business owner, you put the
S1: pressure on yourself to grow something because you believe that
S1: something is possible. But there are other alternatives. And so
S1: when you're winning, when you have good stats and you
S1: still don't feel like you're doing enough, that's okay. That's
S1: part of the game. That's part of this journey that
S1: we're on. And remember, like, it's a good thing to
S1: remind yourself, oh yeah, I could if I wanted to
S1: lay on a beach, I don't have to do what
S1: I'm doing. And just that mental shift of like, I
S1: don't have to do this. Oh, yeah, I chose this
S1: makes you feel more empowered and confident and, like, lean
S1: in to the choices that you make for the sacrifices
S1: every single day that you put into growing something remarkable.
S1: So back to being liked. I feel like I had
S1: to really reject a lot of the things that I
S1: learned growing up, and that served me in my early
S1: 20s to become the version of myself that I am today,
S1: where I didn't want to be liked. And I stopped
S1: looking for other people to like me because I didn't
S1: really like myself. I hadn't created anything yet. I hadn't
S1: done anything yet. There was nothing that I was, like,
S1: truly proud of, especially in relation to my potential. And
S1: so I really view the last four years is like
S1: this hardening that's happened in my life. And I have
S1: a lot of male role models in business, and those
S1: male role models are fantastic and I have so much
S1: appreciation for. But as a woman in business, there are
S1: things that I should lean into as a woman and
S1: not feel bad about as a woman, just because my
S1: male counterpart would never do that. And so there's this
S1: quote that I put out on TikTok about, like, it's
S1: not a leader's job to be liked. And I still
S1: agree that's not the job. Like that's not the priority.
S1: A leader shouldn't be focused on being liked by their team. However,
S1: you should be likable, and I kind of hate to
S1: use the word should. I'm speaking to myself right now,
S1: quite literally. I'm in my office all by myself, speaking
S1: to myself. But there's nothing wrong with people liking you.
S1: And there's nothing wrong with doing things that that make
S1: people like you because you genuinely want to do them.
S1: And what I've learned this month, I've been reading this
S1: book that's been phenomenal, talking about how somebody liking you
S1: is actually very beneficial in business. And I've kind of
S1: taken this like, fuck you approach. Like, I don't need
S1: you to like me because the results and the statistics
S1: and the team of people that we're going to create
S1: is going to be so fantastic that it doesn't really
S1: matter if you like me and I will intentionally do
S1: things and like stop myself from being warm, from being
S1: softer because of this idea that I've had in my
S1: head that I don't. I shouldn't crave doing things to
S1: make me softer or warm. And this book just really
S1: like I had this epiphany. I had this, like little
S1: awakening just within the last few days, to be honest
S1: with you, that me being likable is different than wanting
S1: to be liked. I shouldn't want to be liked but
S1: and do things just because I want to be liked.
S1: But I should do things that are likable that I
S1: naturally feel inclined to do instead of. I'll give you
S1: a great example. Instead of like, removing exclamation points on emails,
S1: I've always thought, man, my male counterparts would never do that.
S1: Why do I feel the need to do that? Well, honestly,
S1: Natalie Dawson likes putting exclamation points and I am exclamatory
S1: in communications. And there are times where I'm very direct
S1: in communications and will hand it to you in communication,
S1: but when I am congratulating somebody, it's freaking okay to
S1: put an exclamation point or put an emoji and do
S1: things like that that I don't actually have to naturally
S1: like remove those from my communication, because I'm worried that
S1: people are going to think that I want them to
S1: like me. And so it's almost like I turned this
S1: liking thing into like, I don't need people to like me.
S1: And I was like, standing really firm on this, what
S1: I thought was solid ground, and it served me for
S1: a period of time. It served me for a period
S1: of my career because quite honestly, I didn't like myself
S1: for a while and I needed to create results so
S1: that I liked myself. But now that I've created the
S1: results and I believe in myself and I have confidence
S1: in myself, I can be likable and I should be
S1: likable and and soft. And I still don't have that
S1: point to prove. Like the chip on my shoulder is,
S1: isn't there? That chip isn't there. I still have chips
S1: on my shoulder and I love my chips. I, I,
S1: I use my chips. My chips are very important to me.
S1: So this like contrast between being liked and being likable,
S1: I really think is an important one and something that
S1: has just really significantly impacted me over the last few days, uh,
S1: in a way where I feel more myself and I
S1: feel more comfortable being free in my communication for how
S1: I actually want to communicate with people and how I
S1: actually want them to feel around me. I don't want
S1: people to feel like I'm cold. I don't need them
S1: again to feel like warm and fuzzy. But I'm just
S1: going to communicate the way that I feel like I
S1: should instead of making it more cold because I thought
S1: that it was supposed to be cold. To reject traditional
S1: male female roles in business. Okay, number two, hold on.
S1: I have to take a drink of water. All this
S1: talking to myself, it's got my throat dry. All right.
S1: I was hanging out over the weekend with somebody who
S1: has made billions of dollars. He is, in fact, a billionaire,
S1: one of only a handful on this planet that we
S1: live on. And he was telling me a story about
S1: earlier in the morning, he and his significant other showed
S1: up to a pickleball match, and they had never played
S1: pickleball before, so it was their first time they got
S1: their rackets. They started practicing, but it was a foursome game,
S1: meaning that they had to find another group in order
S1: to play against another foursome. So instead of being apologetic
S1: about their lack of pickleball skills, he was scanning for
S1: the other players who were practicing to see who was
S1: the best. And he picked the people who were the best.
S1: And then, to their lack of surprise, they won. So here,
S1: this couple, who had never played pickleball before, teamed up
S1: with another couple, and they won the tournament against people
S1: who have all played pickleball before. And he said something
S1: as he was telling me the story at the end
S1: that was just like, so beautiful. He's like the people
S1: that you pick in life matter. It's like, oh yes,
S1: they sure do. The people that you pick in life matter.
S1: If I was in a similar situation, I probably would
S1: have felt bad that I was so terrible that I
S1: wouldn't want to play with the good people, because I'd
S1: be afraid that they would be upset that I was
S1: so bad at the sport. Like, I wouldn't want to
S1: bring them down knowing the skills that I don't have
S1: in that particular area. Whereas he's like, no, I'm picking
S1: the best person. And I think it's fascinating that if
S1: you pick the best people, he he then went on
S1: to translate it to business because he's clearly picked the
S1: best people in the past. And he's, uh, he's a
S1: very well-known billionaire. And he said that that's what he's
S1: always done in business. He just picks the best people.
S1: He's not the best at anything, but he picks the
S1: best people and they win. And it was just such
S1: a profound example of the little things that people who
S1: are more successful than you do, than you are what
S1: they do. Like, I wouldn't have done that in that
S1: same situation. I'm telling you the truth. I honestly would
S1: have picked a mediocre group because I wouldn't have felt
S1: like I should have been with the best group. But
S1: in the situation, he's dynamic, he's funny, he has all
S1: these other things going for him and he himself is
S1: well connected. So him inconveniencing the best pickleball players by
S1: them being on his team, he's really doesn't view himself
S1: as being the inconvenience because he adds value in other ways.
S1: And now that particular group has had value added value
S1: to him. The people who were great, they've added value
S1: to him because he's now winning this thing that he's
S1: actually terrible at, and he's added value to them because
S1: he's very well connected in this world and likes these
S1: people for no other reason outside of they're great at
S1: pickleball and this billionaire mindset. The show is called Building
S1: Billions for a reason. I want to be around and
S1: switch my mindset as I transition from just going out
S1: of my 20s now into my 30s in this lifetime,
S1: I want to have generated $1 billion. I want to
S1: have $1 billion of net worth and have our companies
S1: be impacting the people that we have targeted to impact
S1: business owners and their teams and their spouses, to make
S1: a big enough impact to where our business is worth
S1: and I'm worth $1 billion, I believe that's a very
S1: like noble goal. And I have not enough time, but
S1: equally enough time. Should nothing wild happen to me to
S1: be able to actually do it. And so spending time
S1: around people who think differently in all areas, it's not
S1: just thinking different in your professional life, but that thinking
S1: different applies in all of these different areas. So yes, contextually,
S1: of course, I know in business that picking the right
S1: people matter, but I would have never thought about that
S1: and how it translates. And it should translate into plain
S1: freaking pickleball and like a pickup game of pickleball. Okay,
S1: on to number three. My third lesson in May keep
S1: investing in you. Meaning me. I'm just going to keep
S1: investing in me. I've just made this commitment that I'm
S1: going to keep throwing down money and repeat successful actions.
S1: On getting the next level advice, guidance, mentorship from new
S1: people to level up my game in certain areas that
S1: I know I have deficiencies. And so with keeping investing
S1: in me, it's just like this double down. Like sometimes
S1: you got to recommit yourself like, I am going to
S1: do this, I'm going to keep investing in me, and
S1: I'm not going to stop investing in me. And it's
S1: been a while since I've, like, paid money to invest
S1: in myself for a mentor or coach. Uh, but I
S1: have a call with somebody on Monday to help on this, uh,
S1: branding stuff. I'm also having another call with somebody to
S1: figure out this piece of community building that I've just
S1: been struggling with, and that's the right thing to do. Like,
S1: I you can know how to hack something in one area.
S1: And as I just mentioned in the previous one, just
S1: entirely neglected in a different area of your life, and
S1: I've not been continuing to invest in me and level
S1: up my skill set in that way. I've been reading
S1: books and podcasts, but like, I need somebody who's good
S1: at who's been successful, who's actually going to help me
S1: and show me the way. So number three, keep investing
S1: in you. This ties in to number four, which is
S1: resist the urge to continue doing what's not working when
S1: you first when I first set a goal, I figure
S1: out these like massive actions that I need to take
S1: in order to get closer to the goal. And at
S1: the time, they seem like massive actions because I'm I
S1: go from a dead stop to starting to do these things,
S1: whether that's working out, whether that's creating content, whether that's
S1: helping business owners, whether that's creating processes in our organization,
S1: like you go from a full stop to, like, I'm
S1: going to make this massive change. And then somewhere along
S1: the lines of making what seems like a massive change,
S1: you might realize that you're not getting the results that
S1: you wanted. Like the original target, you're getting closer, but
S1: like almost elusively. So because you're still far away from
S1: where you want to go, and at that point you
S1: have to stop doing what you were doing and start
S1: doing something else. That also seems like massive action, and
S1: you almost feel silly in the process because you're like, well,
S1: I just did like I just made this huge change
S1: and now that's not even working. So now I have
S1: to do more of it. And it's getting over the
S1: idea that in order to become great at something, you
S1: will need to do more than you think you will
S1: need to do. This is the premise of the ten
S1: x rule and what you think is ten x action.
S1: When you put it contextually against what other people are
S1: taking to achieve the same result, you might find that
S1: you're taking less action than you should be. You are
S1: taking two x action, but it felt like ten x
S1: to you when you started. And so this lesson that
S1: I've learned resist the urge to continue to do what's
S1: not working. You're so bought in. I'm so bought in
S1: to what I'm doing that it's almost become like this checklist.
S1: It's like, okay, great. I did my workout and I
S1: scheduled my content time and like, check, check. But I'm
S1: not getting the results in those areas that I know
S1: I would be getting if I was doing it more
S1: and doing it better. And so I have to give
S1: up this idea of, well, man, I finally just blocked
S1: out an hour of working out a day, and I
S1: finally just figured out the macro count that I need
S1: to be doing to where it's like, okay, I yes,
S1: I finally just figured these things out, but I also
S1: need to add this area of cardio in the workout example.
S1: In the content example, I blocked out 30 minutes every day,
S1: and most days it actually ends up being five minutes
S1: because I'm running around doing other things, and then the
S1: weekends it's almost non-existent because I'm working on something else.
S1: And so really it ends up being 20 minutes a
S1: week instead of the originally intended. What would that be?
S1: Four hours a week, five hours a week, 4.5 hours
S1: a week, 2.5 hours a week. And so it's this like, okay,
S1: now you have to take this more seriously and you
S1: have to do more action. And I need to entirely
S1: resist the urge to continue to do what's not working
S1: and make the change to dedicate the time. Block out
S1: my schedule, make it a priority to get the results
S1: that I want. And this process, you don't have to
S1: beat yourself up. You have to. You don't have to
S1: beat yourself up during. But you do have to be
S1: really honest and look at stats and measure. Is what
S1: I'm doing actually working? Is it getting me closer to
S1: where I want to go? And the reality is, if
S1: it's not, you have to resist the urge to continue
S1: to do what's not working, even though just doing what
S1: you're doing right now, at one point seemed like a lot,
S1: doesn't really matter, because whatever needs to happen for you
S1: to hit your goal is what's required of you. That's
S1: what needs to be done. So then, are you really
S1: willing to do what it takes to achieve your goal? Well,
S1: I like to think of myself as a person who
S1: is willing to do what it takes to achieve my goal. Therefore,
S1: I have to take this next leap and spend more
S1: time and more energy and more focus in these areas
S1: that I know I need to improve.