WEBVTT - Billion Dollar Couples Retreat 0:00:07.250 --> 0:00:11.840 Welcome back to Building Billions. It has been an incredible 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:15.080 three days. We are just on the final evening of 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:19.280 our couples mastermind here in Cabo San Lucas. And I 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.140 just think it's so incredible to be able to take 0:00:21.140 --> 0:00:25.160 the time out to work on your relationship and to 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.830 think through like, what am I actually creating while you 0:00:27.830 --> 0:00:30.440 are building a business? And I know most of this 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:33.470 podcast content is all about how do you grow your 0:00:33.470 --> 0:00:35.419 business and how do you create that financial success and 0:00:35.420 --> 0:00:38.810 what are you doing to push yourself professionally? But the 0:00:38.810 --> 0:00:41.240 the marriage has to work to the relationships have to 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:43.309 work too. And Brian and I have started to put 0:00:43.310 --> 0:00:46.220 more of an emphasis on this recently because we recognize 0:00:46.220 --> 0:00:49.220 that in order for us to actually make it to 0:00:49.220 --> 0:00:52.370 the billions, we have to make it like we have 0:00:52.370 --> 0:00:53.840 to be in this together, we have to be doing 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:57.260 the things that are going to allow us to be 0:00:57.260 --> 0:00:59.930 the best version of ourselves, but also like be there. 0:00:59.930 --> 0:01:01.550 There's not really going to be a finish line but 0:01:01.550 --> 0:01:04.250 be there when that takes place. And so I wanted 0:01:04.250 --> 0:01:07.669 to walk you through the top three takeaways that I 0:01:07.670 --> 0:01:12.080 had at this mastermind, and I hope you enjoy some 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:13.580 of the key takeaways, Some of the things that were 0:01:13.580 --> 0:01:15.770 going on at this couple's retreat was the very first 0:01:15.770 --> 0:01:16.880 one I've ever been to. I don't know if you've 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:18.800 ever been to a couples retreat before. It's a little 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.770 bit scary, to be honest, because the intention of going 0:01:21.770 --> 0:01:24.740 to a couples retreat is improving your relationship, and in 0:01:24.740 --> 0:01:27.890 order to improve your relationship, you have to acknowledge that, hey, 0:01:27.890 --> 0:01:29.990 there might be some things in your relationship that aren't 0:01:29.990 --> 0:01:32.720 going the way that you want them to. It's not ideal. 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:36.590 There's some issues. And so we had some amazing couples 0:01:36.590 --> 0:01:39.260 show up to this couple's retreat. Not only was I 0:01:39.260 --> 0:01:43.850 helping part host, but also completely participating. There's a workbook 0:01:43.850 --> 0:01:46.640 that was just like so incredible. But I want to 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:48.920 share with you like the main, like A-ha! Moments that 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:52.460 I had. So the first one was yesterday after we 0:01:52.460 --> 0:01:54.980 did the morning session of like going through doing question 0:01:54.980 --> 0:01:57.710 and answer and really diving into some deeper topics. We 0:01:57.710 --> 0:02:02.150 went ziplining and it was fascinating to me as I 0:02:02.150 --> 0:02:05.570 was greeting everybody who was about to go on the longest, 0:02:05.570 --> 0:02:09.740 scariest zipline in that as I was meeting these couples, 0:02:09.830 --> 0:02:13.880 they were all telling me one was saying, Oh, I'm terrified. 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.580 This is so scary. I don't want to do this. 0:02:16.580 --> 0:02:19.829 I'm nervous. And in every situation I kid you not there. 0:02:19.850 --> 0:02:23.360 35 couples, every situation. The other person was like, Oh yeah, 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.880 I'm excited. This is awesome. It's great to get him 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.280 or her out of their shell. And it dawned on 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:31.970 me that like, wow, the power of relationships really is 0:02:31.970 --> 0:02:34.850 that somebody has a strength in an area and somebody 0:02:34.850 --> 0:02:37.070 else might not have that same strength. But when you 0:02:37.070 --> 0:02:40.730 put two people together and you push them towards a 0:02:40.730 --> 0:02:43.640 common goal, they're able to work it out and they're 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:46.520 able to figure it out and move and be dynamic. 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.829 And think of how many times that happens in our businesses. 0:02:48.830 --> 0:02:51.590 I know I work with my significant other. Brenna and 0:02:51.590 --> 0:02:54.350 I have worked together for almost a decade now, and 0:02:54.350 --> 0:02:56.510 there are things that he is really strong and he's 0:02:56.510 --> 0:03:00.290 excited about. He loves to do, and I hate that thing. 0:03:00.290 --> 0:03:03.740 That's not my skill set. Brandon loves to sell. He 0:03:03.740 --> 0:03:08.060 is like the most natural, most incredible salesperson. That's not 0:03:08.060 --> 0:03:10.040 my thing. I'm not the person that's going to be like, Hey, 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.170 sign the deal right now. I'm going to be the 0:03:12.169 --> 0:03:15.350 person that's answering emails and giving structure to the team 0:03:15.350 --> 0:03:19.160 and creating manuals and standard operating procedures. And so when 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.250 somebody has a strength and you might not have that 0:03:22.250 --> 0:03:23.840 same strength and in fact, it might even be a 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.250 weakness of yours, that's totally normal. And it actually like 0:03:27.260 --> 0:03:29.929 as I as I took a step back and really 0:03:29.930 --> 0:03:32.750 was thinking through this like, wow, how beautiful, like, how 0:03:32.750 --> 0:03:35.420 incredible that we're not all great at the same things. 0:03:35.420 --> 0:03:38.780 Our business doesn't need to great salespeople. I don't need 0:03:38.780 --> 0:03:40.880 to be competing with Brandon on that. I need him 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:43.400 to be successful at his area and me to be 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:46.850 successful in my area so that we create an incredible team. 0:03:46.850 --> 0:03:49.190 You need your head of marketing to be great in 0:03:49.190 --> 0:03:52.130 their area. You need your head of operations or your 0:03:52.130 --> 0:03:54.080 head of HR to be great in their area. Like 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:57.050 everybody has their own roles, and especially in a partnership 0:03:57.050 --> 0:03:59.540 where you're married to the other person, you don't have 0:03:59.540 --> 0:04:02.570 to make that person wrong because they're good at something 0:04:02.570 --> 0:04:04.550 and you wish you were good at that thing. And 0:04:04.550 --> 0:04:06.320 you don't have to feel less about yourself because you 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:08.480 aren't good at that thing. That was always something I 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:10.760 used to struggle with. So anyway, that was my very 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:15.170 first takeaway from this couple's retreat. My second takeaway was 0:04:15.170 --> 0:04:19.220 very early on, on day one, Grant Cardone is is 0:04:19.220 --> 0:04:21.440 talking about just things that happen and come up in 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:24.349 the relationship, that they might just have minor frustrations or 0:04:24.350 --> 0:04:27.380 upsets over, Grant said. The number one thing that I 0:04:27.380 --> 0:04:30.650 always go back to whenever we're talking about something that's 0:04:30.650 --> 0:04:33.979 just silly and on each other and irritated, he says, 0:04:33.980 --> 0:04:37.609 I ask her, How's my report card? And he was 0:04:37.610 --> 0:04:40.520 saying in the context of school, like, you knew if 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:43.669 you were getting a B-plus or an A-plus or a 0:04:43.670 --> 0:04:46.370 C-minus or a D or you're flunking like you, you 0:04:46.370 --> 0:04:49.520 knew these things growing up. But in relationships that are 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:52.430 much more complicated, you can be getting on like the 0:04:52.430 --> 0:04:56.870 finite detail. To use the report card example, you could 0:04:56.870 --> 0:05:00.350 be like really nitpicking somebody on the one essay that 0:05:00.350 --> 0:05:02.270 they did incorrectly in the way that they use the 0:05:02.270 --> 0:05:04.970 specific words. Or maybe they just made a spelling error, 0:05:04.970 --> 0:05:06.600 but you're just harping. On the fact that they made 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.719 the spelling error. But in the totality of the test 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.120 and the totality of the report card, they got an 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.430 A plus. They might have gotten 1 or 2 things wrong, 0:05:14.430 --> 0:05:18.780 but they're doing great. They're above average. They're actually exceeding average. 0:05:18.779 --> 0:05:21.450 So when he asks her, How's my report card? And she's. 0:05:21.450 --> 0:05:22.410 Like a. 0:05:22.410 --> 0:05:25.530 96, that's his way of saying like, wait a second, 0:05:25.529 --> 0:05:29.159 we're doing fantastic. I'm not 100%. I never promised to 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:31.230 be perfect in this relationship. I never promised that I 0:05:31.230 --> 0:05:34.050 was going to be the most amazing husband all the time. 0:05:34.050 --> 0:05:37.830 I'm going to make mistakes. I am human. But overall, 0:05:37.830 --> 0:05:40.169 how's my report card? How am I doing? And if 0:05:40.170 --> 0:05:43.320 you're doing in your significant others like, Wow, and I 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:45.719 can really appreciate what they are bringing to the table 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:47.970 and the good things that they are creating in the 0:05:47.970 --> 0:05:50.220 life that we have, then you can kind of let 0:05:50.220 --> 0:05:51.990 those smaller things go and they don't have to be 0:05:51.990 --> 0:05:55.980 as hard and weigh on you as much in your relationship. 0:05:56.190 --> 0:06:00.390 The third takeaway was from my husband. We were talking 0:06:00.390 --> 0:06:03.900 about how to be in business with your significant other, 0:06:03.900 --> 0:06:07.740 and he reminded me and reminded everybody in the room 0:06:07.740 --> 0:06:10.409 yesterday like, what is the purpose of your business? Why 0:06:10.410 --> 0:06:13.050 did you create your business? If you're in a relationship 0:06:13.050 --> 0:06:15.900 with somebody and you're in the business together, I can 0:06:15.900 --> 0:06:17.849 take a step back and say, What's the purpose? And 0:06:17.850 --> 0:06:21.750 ideally you should have three different purposes. Your first purpose, 0:06:21.750 --> 0:06:24.989 the primary purpose, should be creating the life that you 0:06:24.990 --> 0:06:28.620 want through your business. Your business should be able to 0:06:28.620 --> 0:06:31.740 create whatever it was that you originally set out to 0:06:31.740 --> 0:06:35.190 have it create. And if you get lost in, Oh, 0:06:35.190 --> 0:06:37.800 I'm just over servicing the customer and I'm drained because 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.530 I'm servicing them and I'm drained because I'm answering problems 0:06:40.529 --> 0:06:42.960 from the team. You've lost sight of what you started 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.390 to do. The purpose of your business was to create 0:06:45.390 --> 0:06:50.040 the life that you wanted through your business. The secondary 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.609 purpose of your business is to be able to create 0:06:53.610 --> 0:06:57.089 opportunities for team members. That's my favorite part of our business, 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.460 is the different opportunities that our team members have, the 0:06:59.460 --> 0:07:02.010 way that they flourish and prosper inside our organization, the 0:07:02.010 --> 0:07:04.560 way that they can start at one place and in 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.440 such a short amount of time being a totally different 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:11.130 place from a relationship standpoint, from a financial standpoint, from 0:07:11.130 --> 0:07:13.830 a professional standpoint, they've added all these skills. I love that. 0:07:13.830 --> 0:07:15.960 That is such a fulfilling side of our business. To me, 0:07:16.170 --> 0:07:18.870 the third part, the third purpose of your of your 0:07:18.870 --> 0:07:24.300 business is to be able to service your customers. Now, 0:07:24.300 --> 0:07:27.240 these aren't necessarily like you don't have to put three 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.820 is one and I'm not numbering them for any particular 0:07:29.820 --> 0:07:33.180 order but just reminding that they're the three pieces like, Hey, 0:07:33.180 --> 0:07:35.580 this is your life. What is your business helping you 0:07:35.580 --> 0:07:38.850 create through your life? What is it allowing your team 0:07:38.850 --> 0:07:41.430 members to do? What opportunities is it creating? And thirdly, 0:07:41.430 --> 0:07:45.240 like what? What are your clients do from a win standpoint? 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:46.920 How do you make their lives better? How do you 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:50.010 service them in a way that just totally transforms a 0:07:50.010 --> 0:07:53.010 problem that they have? And when you can combine those 0:07:53.010 --> 0:07:55.500 three things and remember every single day that this is 0:07:55.500 --> 0:07:57.960 why you're doing the business that you're doing, this is 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.240 why you put in the hours, this is why you 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:03.240 execute on all of the ideas that you have. You 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.330 feel better about it because then you're cause that's a 0:08:06.330 --> 0:08:09.390 big theme of the weekend. Then you're acting as cause 0:08:09.390 --> 0:08:12.239 inside your own business. It's not, Oh, I have all 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:14.250 this stuff to do. Oh, I have all these emails 0:08:14.250 --> 0:08:15.989 and I have to make these phone calls and I 0:08:15.990 --> 0:08:19.950 have to answer these text messages. No, like, Wait a second. 0:08:19.950 --> 0:08:21.540 Hold on. What are we here to do? Oh, yeah. 0:08:21.540 --> 0:08:23.100 I'm here to be able to create the life that 0:08:23.100 --> 0:08:25.680 I want to live, to create opportunities for my employees 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:27.360 and to be able to service my customers and help 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.239 solve their problems and unique ways. It's amazing. And as 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:32.219 soon as you're grounded in that, as soon as you're like, 0:08:32.220 --> 0:08:35.370 Oh yeah, wait a second, that was the purpose. Instantly. 0:08:35.370 --> 0:08:37.319 It's like, I want to do these things and I'm 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.120 excited and where am I spending my time and how 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:41.360 do I reprioritize? Because maybe one of those 3 or 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.620 2 of those things, or maybe even all three of 0:08:43.620 --> 0:08:45.929 them are not where you're at right now. And just 0:08:45.929 --> 0:08:49.319 remembering that in grounding is really helpful. And it was 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:50.970 like a little epiphany of like, wait a second, The 0:08:50.970 --> 0:08:52.740 thing that I'm short on right now is the business 0:08:52.740 --> 0:08:54.720 is supposed to create the life that I want. I'm 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:57.030 good on our employees and I'm good on our clients. 0:08:57.030 --> 0:08:58.650 But maybe there are some things that I need to 0:08:58.650 --> 0:09:01.110 work through. Like this isn't really I'm not happy in 0:09:01.110 --> 0:09:04.080 the way that life is handled through the business at 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.660 this moment. So what needs to change and what am 0:09:06.660 --> 0:09:09.270 I going to fix instantly so that I don't feel 0:09:09.270 --> 0:09:12.360 like the business is what's driving my life? The business 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:15.660 is helping continue to create and fulfill the purpose of 0:09:15.660 --> 0:09:18.210 the business, which was all three of those things. I 0:09:18.210 --> 0:09:22.920 would love to know what questions you would ask from 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:26.939 a group of people that had been together for decades. 0:09:26.940 --> 0:09:29.250 That was one of the other cool things They've the 0:09:29.250 --> 0:09:31.110 most of the couples in the room. They had at 0:09:31.110 --> 0:09:34.140 least been together for 20 plus years, which started to 0:09:34.140 --> 0:09:36.090 like interest me a little bit because I'm thinking, Man, 0:09:36.090 --> 0:09:38.340 how cool is it that these couples who already have 0:09:38.340 --> 0:09:40.979 had success from like a year standpoint, they're not like 0:09:40.980 --> 0:09:42.630 two years in or five years in trying to figure 0:09:42.630 --> 0:09:44.880 out how to make the relationship work. They've already proven 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.699 that they could make it work, and they're still showing 0:09:47.700 --> 0:09:51.209 up to this event, being vulnerable, asking really important questions. 0:09:51.210 --> 0:09:55.350 So anyway, what would you ask couples who have succeeded 0:09:55.350 --> 0:09:58.680 in what you're trying to do, which is probably making 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:00.960 your relationship work? If you're still listening to this podcast, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.360 what would you be asking them? And I would love 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:06.530 to know what those those questions are. So let me 0:10:06.530 --> 0:10:09.110 know what those questions are. If this podcast would be 0:10:09.110 --> 0:10:12.800 helpful to anybody who is working in a business together, 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.470 maybe they're a spouse working in the business together. Maybe 0:10:15.470 --> 0:10:17.750 they're a family member working in the business together. Don't 0:10:17.750 --> 0:10:21.200 forget to share this with them and I would love 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.420 it if you also did a review. That was three things. 0:10:23.420 --> 0:10:25.430 That was a lot of things all at once. But 0:10:25.429 --> 0:10:26.930 I think you can do it. I believe in you. 0:10:27.170 --> 0:10:28.040 Catch you next time.