WEBVTT - My Billion $$$ Networking Secrets 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:12.600 Welcome back to Building Billions. Buckle up, because this is 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:17.489 content I've never talked about before. But with this new 0:00:17.790 --> 0:00:23.099 and revised and updated podcast, I've just really been thinking like, 0:00:23.100 --> 0:00:25.290 how do I take people into the things that I 0:00:25.290 --> 0:00:30.600 do really successfully that I've never shared before and that 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:33.930 are more personal and aren't necessarily teaching a class about? 0:00:33.930 --> 0:00:36.659 This is step one, two, three, four, five of how 0:00:36.659 --> 0:00:39.420 to onboard a team member. And as I've been doing 0:00:39.420 --> 0:00:42.960 this and as I'm in Paris, I was really thinking 0:00:42.960 --> 0:00:44.730 about like, man, what am I doing right now that 0:00:44.729 --> 0:00:48.300 is going to make this experience successful? And I know 0:00:48.300 --> 0:00:52.200 this is a follow up from my previous episode on 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:56.370 being in Paris, preparing for this networking and how to 0:00:56.790 --> 0:00:59.130 prepare for a big experience, something new. So if you 0:00:59.130 --> 0:01:01.110 haven't checked out that episode, go check out the previous 0:01:01.110 --> 0:01:05.940 episode because there's lots of great nuggets about, you know, 0:01:05.940 --> 0:01:07.920 what do you do in order to get in the 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:11.730 right rooms and how do you behave once you're there? 0:01:11.730 --> 0:01:14.430 But now I want to take you after the fact, 0:01:14.430 --> 0:01:18.569 now that this whole Paris experience has wrapped and it 0:01:18.569 --> 0:01:22.679 was a total just it was awesome. It was total success. 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:25.529 Totally awesome. I want to share with you what I 0:01:25.530 --> 0:01:29.640 do in new experiences, how I network, how I get 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:34.410 to know people instead of just living in the moment. Now, 0:01:34.410 --> 0:01:37.650 there's a caveat here. So this is going to be 0:01:37.650 --> 0:01:41.760 all about networking. However, when you I think it's important 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:45.209 to talk about like the framework of experiences and doing 0:01:45.209 --> 0:01:51.300 something new. So I'm all about having moments of gratitude, 0:01:51.300 --> 0:01:54.690 having moments of appreciation. Here I am eating this beautiful 0:01:54.690 --> 0:01:59.610 breakfast by myself, really enjoying a morning of just like. 0:02:00.350 --> 0:02:05.690 Gratitude and appreciation and getting shit done and just like 0:02:05.690 --> 0:02:07.760 having a nice, like, little pause. Maybe I'll talk about 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.190 that in the next episode is how do you take 0:02:10.190 --> 0:02:14.690 a pause? But make no mistake, when you fly across 0:02:14.690 --> 0:02:16.970 the world in order to go to an event, when 0:02:16.970 --> 0:02:20.269 you drive across your town to go to an event, 0:02:20.270 --> 0:02:24.470 the event is not the time to feel the gratitude 0:02:24.470 --> 0:02:27.140 and appreciation. When you show up to an event, you 0:02:27.139 --> 0:02:29.330 have to know what your intention is, and if you're 0:02:29.330 --> 0:02:32.690 at an event, your intention is to meet new people. 0:02:32.690 --> 0:02:36.980 Your intention is not to be inspired, and your intention 0:02:36.980 --> 0:02:40.730 shouldn't be to just take it all in. No, if 0:02:40.730 --> 0:02:43.130 you're going to an event where there are other people 0:02:43.130 --> 0:02:46.880 and you do not know those people, get clear. Your 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:50.930 intention should be to meet those people. People have everything 0:02:50.930 --> 0:02:53.390 you want in this life and so you have to 0:02:53.389 --> 0:02:56.180 figure out this networking game. And I'm just going to 0:02:56.180 --> 0:02:58.520 tell you, I'm a professional at this. It's been a 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:02.930 minute since I've had to network by myself. Normally, Brain 0:03:02.930 --> 0:03:07.310 and I were a dynamic duo in a crowd of 0:03:07.310 --> 0:03:09.260 people that we have no idea who they are and 0:03:09.260 --> 0:03:12.739 we just have this great energy back and forth. And 0:03:12.740 --> 0:03:16.430 he does. He's like Mr. Vibrato and Life of the 0:03:16.430 --> 0:03:19.880 Party and I'm the people that people end up liking. 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:22.040 But he's the one that they think is funny. They 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:23.840 like him too, But like, you just have this really 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:28.160 good thing because I go deep and he goes entertaining anyway. 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:32.000 Not the point. Networking and why the tips I'm going 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.080 to give you today, networking and why you're there has 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.120 to get clear on the front end. So if you're 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:43.190 going to an event, remember experiencing it and join it. 0:03:43.190 --> 0:03:46.220 Those are all great things, but those are secondary intentions. 0:03:46.220 --> 0:03:49.910 Your main intention is to meet new people and to 0:03:49.910 --> 0:03:52.970 figure out what can you do with those new people, 0:03:52.970 --> 0:03:56.869 what relationship can be formed, what connection can take place 0:03:56.870 --> 0:04:00.770 in order to push you forward? So set your intention 0:04:00.770 --> 0:04:03.110 before you go. I'm going to meet new people and 0:04:03.110 --> 0:04:06.320 it is going to be amazing. Now let's just go 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.830 into my network Secrets. There are seven. However, as I 0:04:09.830 --> 0:04:12.020 go through this, I might add a bonus 1 or 2. 0:04:12.020 --> 0:04:14.600 So you're going to want to stick around First one, 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.950 when you get in the room, locate the people that 0:04:18.950 --> 0:04:21.590 you came to meet. Now you might be thinking, wait 0:04:21.589 --> 0:04:23.870 a second, Natalie. I don't know who's going to be there. 0:04:23.870 --> 0:04:26.450 How am I supposed to know who to meet? You 0:04:26.450 --> 0:04:29.870 will know when you walk into the room. You will 0:04:29.870 --> 0:04:34.880 know who you came to meet. There will be an energy, 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:40.670 There will be excitement. There will be people that you 0:04:40.670 --> 0:04:43.219 can tell like, Man, this person is more reserved versus 0:04:43.220 --> 0:04:45.469 this person is more outgoing versus this person has a 0:04:45.470 --> 0:04:47.870 lot of people with them. So I should probably figure 0:04:47.870 --> 0:04:50.300 out how to join the group of people with a 0:04:50.300 --> 0:04:53.240 lot of people and figure out who I'm there to meet. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:57.830 And it's really clear if you are looking who you 0:04:57.830 --> 0:05:00.380 came there to meet and why I say this is 0:05:00.380 --> 0:05:03.710 the first step is what oftentimes happens in networking events 0:05:03.710 --> 0:05:06.440 is you just go there and you start talking to 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:10.700 the one person that you first encounter and then you 0:05:10.700 --> 0:05:12.919 don't ever move past that person because both of you 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:16.039 guys might be uncomfortable. And then you sit together, you 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:20.510 have your meal together, you just become buddies. Well, remember, 0:05:20.510 --> 0:05:22.910 what's our intention? Our intention is to meet people. So 0:05:22.910 --> 0:05:25.250 when you get there, find the person that you are 0:05:25.250 --> 0:05:27.890 there to meet. You are on a mission. You need 0:05:27.890 --> 0:05:31.160 to and should be meeting the majority of the room 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:34.610 that you walk in. So for this Paris event, there 0:05:34.610 --> 0:05:37.820 were well, there was it was a small enough group 0:05:37.820 --> 0:05:39.169 where I knew I was going to end up meeting 0:05:39.170 --> 0:05:42.290 everybody no matter what. But but I had created the 0:05:42.290 --> 0:05:45.350 intention that I needed to find the person or the 0:05:45.350 --> 0:05:49.549 people that I came to meet. So when you get 0:05:49.550 --> 0:05:52.219 into the room, yes, it's fine to talk to the 0:05:52.220 --> 0:05:53.720 first person that's there because you don't know who that 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:57.620 person is. You don't know what connection you guys could have. 0:05:57.620 --> 0:06:00.230 But don't forget that you're on this mission to find 0:06:00.230 --> 0:06:03.500 the person or the group of people that you came 0:06:03.500 --> 0:06:07.770 to meet. Find them, don't lose sight of finding them. 0:06:07.770 --> 0:06:11.609 And that is going to force you to network with 0:06:11.610 --> 0:06:15.029 different people instead of just getting stuck and glomming on 0:06:15.029 --> 0:06:18.720 to the one person. And quite honestly, whenever I've done this, 0:06:18.930 --> 0:06:21.660 to me it's the biggest cop out. If I don't 0:06:21.660 --> 0:06:24.900 do step one correctly, then the rest of it, it 0:06:24.900 --> 0:06:28.440 just kind of becomes useless. And I feel silly leaving. 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:31.260 I feel like, Oh man, this wasn't really the right 0:06:31.260 --> 0:06:33.330 room for me when it could have been. But the 0:06:33.330 --> 0:06:35.790 only reason it wasn't was because I didn't fulfill on 0:06:35.790 --> 0:06:37.680 my mission, which was to find the people that I 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.200 came to meet. Okay, you get the point. Number two, 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:42.989 when you are in a room of people that you 0:06:42.990 --> 0:06:46.799 do not know, the easiest way to keep the conversation 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:51.839 going while not feeling awkward about ending it is to 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:55.680 ask for their contact information. So let's say just yesterday 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.840 I sat down with somebody. There was a group of people. 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:01.529 I was eating with them and I knew it was 0:07:01.529 --> 0:07:04.380 my moment to go meet the other people inside this room. 0:07:04.380 --> 0:07:07.409 So instead of just awkwardly saying, Oh, I'm going to 0:07:07.410 --> 0:07:09.510 go talk to other people, which then makes the person 0:07:09.510 --> 0:07:12.340 feel like. You don't want to talk to them. You 0:07:12.340 --> 0:07:14.380 asked for the contact info. You say it was so 0:07:14.380 --> 0:07:17.090 great talking with you. Can I get your contact information? 0:07:17.110 --> 0:07:20.100 You take their contact information. I always take a screenshot. 0:07:20.110 --> 0:07:22.150 This is my pro tip. I take a screenshot whenever 0:07:22.150 --> 0:07:25.000 I get their contact information so that I can remember 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:30.310 all of the people that I just connected with. You 0:07:30.310 --> 0:07:32.410 take a screenshot, you have the photos and then you've 0:07:32.410 --> 0:07:34.119 asked for their contact information. You move on to the 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:36.700 next person. But it's a great like, man, this was 0:07:36.700 --> 0:07:39.040 a great conversation. It's showing intention that you want to 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:43.270 move the relationship forward, which you should. You should be 0:07:43.270 --> 0:07:46.990 moving the relationship forward. You asked for contact information. Phenomenal. 0:07:46.990 --> 0:07:48.310 So great to meet you. And then you move on 0:07:48.310 --> 0:07:52.179 to the next person. Now you have their contact information. 0:07:52.780 --> 0:07:58.960 The third thing to do is you follow up immediately. Now, 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.300 immediately might be a little bit too soon. You should 0:08:01.300 --> 0:08:04.630 wait until you've left the event for follow up. That's 0:08:04.630 --> 0:08:07.780 at least what I do. But I'm following up within 0:08:07.780 --> 0:08:12.220 that day, maybe that evening, maybe on my walk home 0:08:12.220 --> 0:08:14.050 from the event that I just went or the car 0:08:14.050 --> 0:08:17.500 ride home. But I am following up immediately with those people. Hey, 0:08:17.500 --> 0:08:19.990 it was great to meet you. I'm Natalie Dawson. Here's 0:08:19.990 --> 0:08:23.440 how you can contact me or here's where I'm at 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:26.770 on socials. Let's get connected and then make your ask. 0:08:26.770 --> 0:08:29.020 Do you want them on your podcast? Do you want 0:08:29.020 --> 0:08:30.730 to set up a lunch? Do you want to do 0:08:30.730 --> 0:08:35.050 a coffee? Whatever the ask is follow up immediately bonus 0:08:35.050 --> 0:08:38.349 round on this. If they are a very important person 0:08:38.350 --> 0:08:41.320 to you, like you know that they're very important person. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:45.760 I did this with Elena Cardone, I did this with 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:50.260 the editor of Men's Vogue that I sat with, which 0:08:50.260 --> 0:08:53.350 is nuts. We had like a full two hour conversation. 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:57.040 He was super awesome. You add a special touch. So 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:01.030 with Elena, I got her address, mailing address. I sent 0:09:01.030 --> 0:09:04.120 her gold and black flowers. Still to this day, she 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:09.760 has them there from that flower company that that preserves 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:13.000 the roses so you can have them forever. So there's 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:16.319 a special touch. It makes you memorable. It has you. 0:09:16.330 --> 0:09:18.850 It makes you stand out from everybody else. When you 0:09:18.850 --> 0:09:22.090 add that special touch with the Vogue editor, I've already 0:09:22.090 --> 0:09:24.040 reached out. I haven't figured out what my special touches, 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:25.900 but I'll probably send him something when he's back in 0:09:25.900 --> 0:09:27.250 New York. I know he's still in Paris right now, 0:09:27.250 --> 0:09:29.140 but I'll send him something saying, Wow, it was so 0:09:29.140 --> 0:09:31.839 great to meet with you. Thank you for the conversation. 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.300 I'll put a little note in about something that I 0:09:34.300 --> 0:09:37.120 learned or something that I took away. This is the 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:41.350 second pro tip on this for those very important people 0:09:41.350 --> 0:09:46.450 that you want to have a connection with, do something 0:09:46.450 --> 0:09:49.720 that shows them that you're interested. I was about to 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.120 have a meeting with Victoria Beckham a couple of weeks 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:55.780 ago and I bought her clothes in order to wear 0:09:55.780 --> 0:09:58.540 her clothes to the meeting. That is a sign of 0:09:58.540 --> 0:10:01.990 respect and you can think that that's tacky. You can 0:10:01.990 --> 0:10:04.959 think that that's weird. I come at it from a 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:10.569 genuine place, so it's not something that I'm not trying to. Well, 0:10:10.570 --> 0:10:12.550 I guess I am trying to impress them. I'm trying to, 0:10:12.550 --> 0:10:16.240 but not for for ill intention. I'm trying to to 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:22.540 pay my dues, to give respect where respect is is required. 0:10:22.540 --> 0:10:27.010 And I'm a big fan of Victoria Beckham's clothes. I'm 0:10:27.010 --> 0:10:30.880 a big fan of Elena Cardon. I've become a big 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:34.600 fan of this, this editor of Men's Vogue. Michael And 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.900 so for the special people that you get contact information 0:10:37.900 --> 0:10:41.260 like he and I exchanged phone numbers, emails follow each 0:10:41.260 --> 0:10:43.510 other on Instagram. Now I'm going to do the next thing, 0:10:43.510 --> 0:10:46.210 which is the special touch so that you're not forgotten. 0:10:46.210 --> 0:10:49.990 There is nothing wrong with wanting to be remembered. Women 0:10:49.990 --> 0:10:53.410 are told all the time that you should just kind 0:10:53.410 --> 0:10:56.980 of blend in. Let me just set this straight. There 0:10:56.980 --> 0:11:01.720 is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be remembered and 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:05.680 taking the right action to be remembered. The action, though, 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:07.569 is in the follow up. So if you don't do 0:11:07.570 --> 0:11:09.580 the previous step, step two, which is asking for the 0:11:09.580 --> 0:11:13.630 contact information, you're going to really struggle to do the 0:11:13.630 --> 0:11:16.300 the follow up. You're really going to struggle to be 0:11:16.300 --> 0:11:19.120 remembered unless you just like slide into their DMS, which 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.819 that's weird to if you have to, you have to 0:11:21.820 --> 0:11:23.950 write if you forgot to get contact information. But ideal 0:11:23.950 --> 0:11:25.540 seeing as you get the contact information and then you 0:11:25.540 --> 0:11:28.300 do something that makes you memorable, be memorable at a 0:11:28.300 --> 0:11:31.630 networking event. You do not want to blend in. Do 0:11:31.630 --> 0:11:34.810 not blend in, do not come as like I'm a 0:11:34.809 --> 0:11:38.500 wild or a wildflower, not a wildflower, a wallflower. I'm 0:11:38.500 --> 0:11:40.720 just a wallflower. And I'm just here to enjoy myself. 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.450 Fuck that. No, you're there to be remembered. You're there 0:11:43.450 --> 0:11:45.790 to get known. You're there to move your life forward. 0:11:45.790 --> 0:11:47.679 And the people in that room can help you. You 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.160 have to believe all of that. Okay, Moving on. This 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:53.140 one is going to be a little bit controversial. I 0:11:53.140 --> 0:11:56.230 already know this, but I'm going to say what I'm 0:11:56.230 --> 0:11:58.660 about to say. Don't drink. 0:12:00.030 --> 0:12:01.949 Don't drink. 0:12:03.030 --> 0:12:07.470 What are you here for? Just remember, go back to this. 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:09.670 What are you there for? You are there to find 0:12:09.670 --> 0:12:13.660 people that you you went there to meet. You were 0:12:13.660 --> 0:12:15.820 there to find the people that you came to meet. 0:12:16.540 --> 0:12:19.600 I can't tell you how many times I've watched people 0:12:19.870 --> 0:12:24.010 just make the worst first impression. At first it goes great. 0:12:24.010 --> 0:12:27.910 You're like, Oh, this person so wonderful. And then an 0:12:27.910 --> 0:12:31.240 hour or two later they're just completely sloshed. And granted, 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:34.449 I've still become friends with people. Like no one thing blows. 0:12:34.450 --> 0:12:37.510 The deal is Grant Cardone says one thing does not 0:12:37.510 --> 0:12:39.880 blow a deal. You getting drunk one time does not 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:43.959 blow a deal. However, it doesn't look professional. And if 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.300 you're there with an intention to move your business forward, 0:12:46.300 --> 0:12:49.690 to move your product forward, to move your reputation forward, 0:12:49.690 --> 0:12:54.580 to start, you know, being in bigger places and doing 0:12:54.580 --> 0:12:57.970 more exciting things, the reputation should not be that you're 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.820 the person that got drunk. Now, is it okay to 0:13:00.820 --> 0:13:03.700 have a drink? Sure. And especially in social environments. I 0:13:03.700 --> 0:13:06.760 get why having champagne in your hand and all of that. 0:13:06.940 --> 0:13:09.729 I'll drink maybe a half a glass of champagne or 0:13:09.730 --> 0:13:13.030 half a glass of whatever people are having just for 0:13:13.030 --> 0:13:16.660 the social aspect. But the intention is not to get 0:13:16.660 --> 0:13:21.550 drunk or the bigger crutch is using alcohol to make 0:13:21.550 --> 0:13:24.880 you a more heightened version of yourself or a more 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.839 funny version of yourself, or a looser version of yourself. 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:32.230 Like be a grown ass adult. Yes, you might be 0:13:32.230 --> 0:13:35.290 nervous networking. I get it. But you don't have to 0:13:35.290 --> 0:13:37.990 get drunk to cope with those feelings. Just fucking cope 0:13:37.990 --> 0:13:41.650 with the feelings. Sit there like a grown ass person 0:13:41.650 --> 0:13:45.760 and meet new people. It's okay that you don't have 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.250 alcohol In order to do that, you don't need it. 0:13:48.250 --> 0:13:52.540 It's not a requirement. You shouldn't make it necessary. Cope 0:13:52.540 --> 0:13:54.880 with your own emotions, cope with your feelings, and you 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:56.950 are going to feel more confident because that is the 0:13:56.950 --> 0:13:59.709 name of this game. You're going to feel more confident 0:13:59.710 --> 0:14:02.890 afterwards if you do it the right way. If you 0:14:02.890 --> 0:14:05.110 get drunk, you don't even remember what you said. Like 0:14:05.110 --> 0:14:07.060 I can't even imagine if I would have gotten drunk 0:14:07.059 --> 0:14:09.370 with the editor of Vogue. And then the next morning 0:14:09.370 --> 0:14:11.470 I'm like, oh my God, what did I say to him? 0:14:11.650 --> 0:14:14.260 Did I say that was I like, you just get 0:14:14.260 --> 0:14:18.280 loose and you're not trying to get loose. You're not 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:20.650 trying to get loose. You're trying to make a good impression. 0:14:20.650 --> 0:14:23.530 You're trying to be memorable. Nobody wants to be memorable 0:14:23.530 --> 0:14:25.660 or you shouldn't want to be memorable in that way. 0:14:25.660 --> 0:14:30.040 So I'm a stickler about the drinking thing. I'm a 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:31.990 huge stickler. Once you get to know people. Sure. If 0:14:31.990 --> 0:14:33.970 you need to let your hair down and they become 0:14:33.970 --> 0:14:39.690 friends or whatever, that's fine. Okay, next up, we're off 0:14:39.700 --> 0:14:43.690 of that one. I've heard the saying so many times. 0:14:43.690 --> 0:14:49.270 Be interested. Not interesting. This is my take on that. 0:14:49.750 --> 0:14:57.370 Be interested then. Interesting. So all your attention and energy 0:14:57.370 --> 0:15:01.030 should be focused on being interested in the other person. 0:15:01.030 --> 0:15:03.910 What do they do? What is exciting to them in 0:15:03.910 --> 0:15:08.050 their lives? Do they have children? Do they have a business? 0:15:08.060 --> 0:15:14.530 Are they excited about launching a new venture or a 0:15:14.530 --> 0:15:18.970 philanthropic endeavor that they have? Just be interested. Ask genuine 0:15:18.970 --> 0:15:24.130 questions as if because you are you are so interested 0:15:24.130 --> 0:15:26.050 in the other person. Now, the reason I say as 0:15:26.050 --> 0:15:30.040 if it's because I realized that people really struggle with 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:34.240 being interested in other people, because in most people's world, 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:39.160 their world is the world. There's no. Point of view 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:43.510 from somebody. Somebody else's perspective. So it's easy for people to. 0:15:44.750 --> 0:15:46.940 Ask one question and then start talking about themselves or 0:15:46.940 --> 0:15:49.250 how they relate to it. Whatever the person just said, 0:15:49.250 --> 0:15:51.500 that's not the idea. You should be asking 5 to 0:15:51.500 --> 0:15:54.710 10 questions or it shouldn't feel overwhelming, but you should 0:15:54.710 --> 0:15:56.810 be asking them questions about what they do, what they 0:15:56.810 --> 0:15:59.030 like to do, how they ended up at that event, 0:15:59.030 --> 0:16:01.370 what the context is for how they were invited to 0:16:01.370 --> 0:16:05.600 the event. Be interested in the other person without making 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:11.840 it remotely about you, and then you be interesting. So 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:16.490 after you are interested, you're still interested. But then. Then 0:16:16.490 --> 0:16:19.400 you can start to be interesting. Then you can start 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:23.630 talking about what you do, why you do what you do, 0:16:23.660 --> 0:16:26.020 why you're excited about some project that you're working on, 0:16:26.060 --> 0:16:29.030 the context in which you're at this event. But you 0:16:29.030 --> 0:16:32.600 don't start off by being interesting. It's the wrong way 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.530 to do it. I have one over so many people 0:16:36.530 --> 0:16:39.980 that initially wouldn't like me. And here's the real rule 0:16:39.980 --> 0:16:44.090 on this. Most of the times it has been very 0:16:44.090 --> 0:16:47.570 difficult for me in rooms of other women, especially when 0:16:47.570 --> 0:16:49.910 I'm with my husband, to get them to like me, 0:16:49.910 --> 0:16:52.850 because most of the time they are not my age. 0:16:52.850 --> 0:16:54.830 If I'm networking in a group of people, they are 0:16:54.830 --> 0:16:59.180 rarely people that are my age. So here I'm in 0:16:59.180 --> 0:17:03.590 my 20s. Most of the women are older, they have husbands. 0:17:04.670 --> 0:17:07.460 They're not thinking. When I walk into the room, that 0:17:07.460 --> 0:17:09.619 is going to be my future friend. That's just I 0:17:09.619 --> 0:17:12.620 know I get the appearance. I'm not dumb to what 0:17:12.619 --> 0:17:16.100 people think when they first see me and they see 0:17:16.100 --> 0:17:19.220 my husband. I'm not oblivious to it, so I have 0:17:19.220 --> 0:17:21.830 to work extra hard. And that's like my little chip 0:17:21.830 --> 0:17:24.710 on my shoulder. It's the greatest chip I carry. I 0:17:24.710 --> 0:17:27.050 have to work extra hard in order to get people 0:17:27.050 --> 0:17:29.389 to take me seriously, in order to get people to 0:17:29.390 --> 0:17:33.950 like me. Because first impression normally is not great and 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:38.390 that is what it is. So I kill people with 0:17:38.390 --> 0:17:43.879 kindness around being genuinely interested in who they are because 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.909 most people are so shitty at this. They are so 0:17:46.910 --> 0:17:50.689 terrible at asking great questions and really locking in and 0:17:50.690 --> 0:17:54.770 being interested in other people. So you start by being 0:17:54.770 --> 0:17:58.070 interested and then you move into being interesting. You don't 0:17:58.070 --> 0:18:01.040 have to dim your sparkle. You don't have to make 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:05.330 yourself smaller. You can be interesting. It's not just you. 0:18:05.330 --> 0:18:08.540 And I say this because I would air on this 0:18:08.540 --> 0:18:11.600 side where all I would be is interested, and then 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.420 I wouldn't want to talk about myself, especially because the 0:18:14.420 --> 0:18:17.120 person was older. They were likely more accomplished and more experienced. 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.720 So I didn't want to I didn't want to talk 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.359 about myself. I felt uncomfortable talking about myself. I've gotten 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:26.330 over that because you have to get known and you 0:18:26.330 --> 0:18:28.670 have to talk about the things that you do really 0:18:28.670 --> 0:18:30.320 well or else no one is going to know you 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.300 for those things. And then they just had a good 0:18:32.300 --> 0:18:34.670 fleeting conversation with somebody who was interested in them. But 0:18:34.670 --> 0:18:37.790 it doesn't go anywhere. So if you're young and you're 0:18:37.790 --> 0:18:41.030 listening to this, or maybe you lack self confidence and 0:18:41.030 --> 0:18:44.810 you're listening to this, it's okay to talk about yourself, 0:18:45.140 --> 0:18:48.710 but don't well, this wouldn't be your problem. It's okay 0:18:48.710 --> 0:18:50.540 to talk about yourself and talk about the great things 0:18:50.540 --> 0:18:52.400 that you're doing, not in a braggy way, but just saying, Yeah, 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:54.260 this is who I am, this is what I do, 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:58.429 this is what I'm passionate about, etcetera. And that's going 0:18:58.430 --> 0:19:00.560 to be really easy for you to do because most 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:02.780 of the time you probably spend too much time asking 0:19:02.780 --> 0:19:04.910 the other person all about their life and then you 0:19:04.910 --> 0:19:06.950 leave the conversation and they don't even know who your 0:19:06.950 --> 0:19:11.800 name is, which if you're in. Wait, wait. That's for 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:13.810 another point. Hold on. I'll make that point in a second. Okay. 0:19:13.810 --> 0:19:21.330 Next up. It's attached to this Be interesting angle because 0:19:21.660 --> 0:19:25.680 the next item is know your angle. So if you're 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:27.840 in a room like I'm in this Vogue room, what's 0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:32.369 my angle? My angle is is going to change because 0:19:32.369 --> 0:19:34.260 all of us do different things. All of us have 0:19:34.260 --> 0:19:38.040 different roles in our lives. We love fashion, war, a 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:41.790 mom war, a daughter war, a niece, war, a team member. 0:19:41.790 --> 0:19:45.300 We're a business owner. We work on this project. There's 0:19:45.300 --> 0:19:48.390 also this other project. We have this philanthropy. Like no 0:19:48.390 --> 0:19:51.030 one needs to know your whole freaking life story because 0:19:51.030 --> 0:19:54.750 you have to know what your angle is inside that room. 0:19:54.750 --> 0:19:57.780 Are you there to connect with other moms? If you're 0:19:57.780 --> 0:20:00.149 there to connect with other moms, that's your freaking angle. 0:20:00.150 --> 0:20:03.270 Your angle isn't. Oh yeah. I'm starting this like, project 0:20:03.270 --> 0:20:06.149 on the side here that has nothing to do with 0:20:06.150 --> 0:20:08.639 this group of people. And it would just be something 0:20:08.640 --> 0:20:12.540 I would be randomly talking about. For me, knowing my 0:20:12.540 --> 0:20:16.020 angle in this group, most of them are interested in fashion, 0:20:16.020 --> 0:20:19.050 beauty and wellness. My angle, the thing that I have 0:20:19.050 --> 0:20:23.310 going for me there is that I am president of 0:20:23.310 --> 0:20:28.140 a health business that does really cool things with people, 0:20:28.140 --> 0:20:30.450 with a group of people that they are also either 0:20:30.450 --> 0:20:33.359 know or connected with. So that's my angle. I'm not 0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:37.050 going to talk about helping business owners achieve their goals 0:20:37.050 --> 0:20:39.990 in the HVAC and plumbing space in a group of 0:20:39.990 --> 0:20:44.400 people that came because of Vogue. They're not going to 0:20:44.430 --> 0:20:47.370 that's not reality. Like, we're not in the same reality 0:20:47.369 --> 0:20:52.950 point when I use that angle. However, in four days 0:20:52.950 --> 0:20:56.400 from now, when I'm in a group of business owners 0:20:56.400 --> 0:20:59.639 who are looking to scale their business, I'm not talking 0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:03.570 about Vogue 100 and I'm not talking about fashion. I'm 0:21:03.570 --> 0:21:06.810 talking about, Oh yeah, there's this plumber that we've helped 0:21:06.810 --> 0:21:11.639 go from 2 million to 9.2 million over the last 0:21:11.760 --> 0:21:14.370 18 months, and all of a sudden that person's really 0:21:14.369 --> 0:21:15.690 going to be interested in what I have to say. 0:21:15.690 --> 0:21:19.500 So when you're in the room, know your angle and 0:21:19.500 --> 0:21:23.160 it's just like, how do I explain this? It's it's 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:27.180 not that your angle has to be the end point. 0:21:27.180 --> 0:21:30.690 Your angle is like the come on, your angle is 0:21:30.690 --> 0:21:36.000 your hook. It's it's the initial connection to, to, to 0:21:36.030 --> 0:21:38.969 be on the same page and to create understanding with 0:21:38.970 --> 0:21:42.570 the people that you're networking with. So I'm not going 0:21:42.570 --> 0:21:46.350 to talk about equity investments in a group with my 0:21:46.350 --> 0:21:48.510 Vogue 100 people. It's just not going to be the 0:21:48.510 --> 0:21:51.689 right conversation. I'm going to talk about skin care and 0:21:51.690 --> 0:21:54.600 exosomes and red light therapy, and I'm going to go 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:57.150 down this full other path because that's what they're interested 0:21:57.150 --> 0:22:00.270 in now. I'm still going to end up at the 0:22:00.270 --> 0:22:04.920 same place, which is how do I move these connections 0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:08.190 into a relationship with our business? And that's going to 0:22:08.190 --> 0:22:11.430 be regardless of the room, regardless of the initial angle that, 0:22:11.430 --> 0:22:14.520 come on, I'm still going and I'm still headed to 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:17.429 the right place. But this is just something to be 0:22:17.430 --> 0:22:21.300 mindful of when you're first making introductions, when you're first 0:22:21.300 --> 0:22:26.250 being interesting, be interesting in something that they understand, be interesting, 0:22:26.250 --> 0:22:28.590 and something that's relevant to the context of the group. 0:22:28.590 --> 0:22:34.560 Be interesting in in like what the right entry point is. 0:22:34.560 --> 0:22:37.859 And then when people understand what you do and people 0:22:37.859 --> 0:22:40.170 get that you're part of this group for a reason, 0:22:40.170 --> 0:22:43.290 that's when you go into whatever the end point is 0:22:43.290 --> 0:22:52.310 for you. Okay, My last item. In a group. You 0:22:52.310 --> 0:22:55.940 are playing the long game. Do not get confused that 0:22:55.940 --> 0:22:59.000 a networking event, even though it's going to end at 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:02.270 some point there's going to be a stop point. You 0:23:02.270 --> 0:23:04.580 maybe have an hour or two hours, maybe four hours 0:23:04.580 --> 0:23:08.060 or however long the time is. It is a long game. 0:23:08.060 --> 0:23:11.290 You are likely going to run into these people again. 0:23:11.300 --> 0:23:13.790 You are likely going to do another event or have 0:23:13.790 --> 0:23:16.400 somebody that you know that they know if you do 0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.820 the follow up properly. So think of it as a 0:23:19.820 --> 0:23:23.300 long game. Think of it as the starting point for 0:23:23.300 --> 0:23:27.290 what will be a very fruitful relationship. Because if you 0:23:27.290 --> 0:23:28.939 go into it thinking it's just going to be the 0:23:28.940 --> 0:23:31.670 short networking event and you're just there to meet people 0:23:31.670 --> 0:23:35.000 in and out, you're going to be transactional in your interactions. 0:23:35.000 --> 0:23:37.550 If I believe that, I am going to see these 0:23:37.550 --> 0:23:43.430 people multiple times over, I'm going to conduct myself in 0:23:43.430 --> 0:23:46.040 a different manner. I'm going to conduct myself like me 0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.770 because they're going to see me multiple times over. And 0:23:48.770 --> 0:23:52.490 I give this advice because I've watched people who think 0:23:52.490 --> 0:23:55.910 that they have to make this big splashy impression and 0:23:55.910 --> 0:23:59.360 they have to just like go over the top and 0:23:59.359 --> 0:24:04.940 be this like, ridiculously extroverted version of themselves. And then 0:24:04.940 --> 0:24:07.820 you meet them the next time and it's not the 0:24:07.820 --> 0:24:10.160 same person. Like they're a little bit more mellow, they're 0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:13.190 a little bit low key. So I'm a fan of 0:24:13.430 --> 0:24:16.610 giving a little extra in a networking event, like going 0:24:16.609 --> 0:24:19.639 a little over what you would normally give from an 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:22.729 energy standpoint, from a how you show up. But it 0:24:22.730 --> 0:24:26.900 shouldn't be like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It shouldn't be. 0:24:27.350 --> 0:24:31.129 You know, this is just like this overly inflated version 0:24:31.130 --> 0:24:34.010 of you because remember that you're going to meet these 0:24:34.010 --> 0:24:37.130 people in the future. So just be you, but play 0:24:37.130 --> 0:24:40.280 the long game. Networking is a long game. You're going 0:24:40.280 --> 0:24:43.010 to meet these people over and over and over and 0:24:43.010 --> 0:24:46.910 over again. So be consistent with who you are because 0:24:46.910 --> 0:24:50.570 you're showing up as who you are. That's not to 0:24:50.570 --> 0:24:54.869 say you shouldn't do certain things. One thing that I 0:24:54.869 --> 0:24:57.750 watched a woman do that I thought was just like, 0:24:57.750 --> 0:25:01.140 really cool and really like something that I would do 0:25:01.140 --> 0:25:05.310 in the future is like, take care of the whole 0:25:05.310 --> 0:25:10.410 dinner and, you know, a bottle of champagne for everybody 0:25:10.410 --> 0:25:14.429 and like, nice champagne, not just like entry level champagne, 0:25:14.430 --> 0:25:16.889 but like set and set the tone and set the 0:25:16.890 --> 0:25:20.610 impression like you, you are generous and you are giving. Again, 0:25:20.609 --> 0:25:24.000 I know that this is for some people that this 0:25:24.000 --> 0:25:25.520 is too much of a problem where you just like 0:25:25.560 --> 0:25:29.340 pop bottles and it's like a club scene and you're 0:25:30.000 --> 0:25:34.350 overextending again, not what I'm talking about, but in these 0:25:34.350 --> 0:25:38.040 like social situations, like being the person that takes control 0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:41.400 of the situation and that gets the dinner reservation or 0:25:41.400 --> 0:25:45.659 that gets the the spot at the bar and allows 0:25:45.660 --> 0:25:51.030 for the evening the encounter to elongate. Like if you're 0:25:51.030 --> 0:25:55.800 in control, super cool order all the appetizers, like do 0:25:55.830 --> 0:26:00.060 your thing to the wine and dine piece. But playing 0:26:00.060 --> 0:26:03.090 the long game is like, Oh man, if I could 0:26:03.090 --> 0:26:06.240 teach more people and more people would just actually do 0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:10.590 this in networking situations, it wouldn't feel so fake and 0:26:10.590 --> 0:26:16.200 weird and you'd actually build better relationships. And I say 0:26:16.200 --> 0:26:18.840 this from a place of man. I've been in so 0:26:18.840 --> 0:26:21.630 many rooms that I didn't know anybody in that I 0:26:21.630 --> 0:26:26.070 wasn't confident in, But because I played the long game 0:26:26.070 --> 0:26:28.800 and I had a five year vision in mind and 0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:30.390 a ten year vision in mind. 0:26:31.270 --> 0:26:31.869 I. 0:26:32.680 --> 0:26:37.420 It gave the relationship momentum and it gave the relationship consistency. 0:26:37.420 --> 0:26:40.389 And it it allowed people who shouldn't have liked me 0:26:40.390 --> 0:26:44.080 and maybe initially didn't like me at all. It allowed 0:26:44.080 --> 0:26:48.220 them to see who I am and create long term 0:26:48.220 --> 0:26:52.239 lasting relationships. And so this long game, like this is 0:26:52.240 --> 0:26:56.410 my lifelong motto, actually play the long game. You're in 0:26:56.410 --> 0:26:58.840 this for the long haul. It's not a moment, it's 0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:02.290 not transactional. If it's the long game, that means you're 0:27:02.290 --> 0:27:05.320 showing up as who you are. You're authentic to who 0:27:05.350 --> 0:27:09.520 you are. You're there to build relationships. There's a genuine 0:27:10.030 --> 0:27:13.450 attention that you're putting into the moment that you are in, 0:27:13.450 --> 0:27:19.010 and people take that seriously. So. Those are my tips. 0:27:19.190 --> 0:27:24.560 If you are interested in knowing more of my networking secrets, 0:27:24.560 --> 0:27:26.480 I will share them with you. But this was like 0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:29.810 the list that came up that I actually. As I 0:27:29.810 --> 0:27:33.350 was going through these moments with my new group of 0:27:33.350 --> 0:27:37.490 Vogue 100 people like these were things that as as 0:27:37.490 --> 0:27:39.860 situations were arising, I was like, Oh, this is how 0:27:39.859 --> 0:27:42.260 I handle this. And I've always handled it this way. 0:27:42.260 --> 0:27:45.380 So I wanted to share this with you. I am 0:27:45.380 --> 0:27:51.260 going to be taking feedback and questions on Building Billions podcast. 0:27:51.740 --> 0:27:55.070 So if you go there Building Buildings podcast, you can 0:27:55.070 --> 0:27:59.120 enter in your question comment. Would love to interact with 0:27:59.119 --> 0:28:02.390 you there. I'm going to be taking lots of questions 0:28:02.390 --> 0:28:04.850 in future podcast because I want to get to know 0:28:04.850 --> 0:28:07.340 what it is that you want to know through these podcasts. 0:28:07.340 --> 0:28:09.470 So if you have something specific to networking or a 0:28:09.470 --> 0:28:13.330 situation that you struggled with in networking, please reach out. 0:28:13.340 --> 0:28:18.020 Go to Building Billions Podcast. Don't forget to review This 0:28:18.020 --> 0:28:22.400 podcast would so appreciate if you gave me a review 0:28:22.400 --> 0:28:25.310 wherever you listen to your podcast that will allow this 0:28:25.310 --> 0:28:28.100 podcast to grow and if you found value, share it 0:28:28.100 --> 0:28:30.080 with a friend. Let your friends know that this is 0:28:30.080 --> 0:28:32.540 something that you you're listening to, This is something that 0:28:32.540 --> 0:28:35.900 is helping you out and it would mean the world 0:28:35.900 --> 0:28:38.209 to me. So with that, see you next time.