S1: Welcome back to Building Billions. It is officially a new year.
S1: Ladies and gentlemen, it is January 2nd. I am coming
S1: at you from Cabo San Lucas, about to leave to
S1: head back home. Just got off of our first leadership
S1: team meeting of the year, and I wanted to share
S1: with you lessons learned in 2023. I had the most
S1: difficult year of my career. I would say this year
S1: by far was the hardest, the most challenging, the most stressful.
S1: I had the most sleepless nights this year, had the
S1: most amount of anxiousness this year. It was hands down
S1: the most challenging year of my career. And so I'd
S1: like to share with you the key things that I
S1: learned this year that if I had the chance to
S1: do this year over again, I would have been able
S1: to do things differently. It would have had a different perspective.
S1: I would have had more control in certain areas, responsibility
S1: in other areas. So let's just dive on in. First
S1: lesson I learned communication fixes most things, but it does
S1: not fix everything. I came into this year thinking that
S1: my superb communication skills and my ability to be really
S1: direct with somebody, my ability to be aligned and give
S1: direction and feedback was going to solve this challenge that
S1: I was facing. And the reality of communication is you
S1: have to have two parties acting in good faith for
S1: communication to solve a problem. And if one party is
S1: not acting in good faith and you can't change that,
S1: the lack of good faith from the other party, uh,
S1: you can't change that. Well, then communication isn't going to
S1: fix it. And it's only going to get worse. And
S1: it took me probably six months into this constant fighting
S1: in this communication cycle to realize that my ability to
S1: communicate can't. My great ability to communicate that is one
S1: of my strengths. It can't outweigh the lack of somebodies
S1: willingness to act in good faith, to be a good partner,
S1: to work well in conjunction with me. And I think
S1: this would have helped me save a lot of sleepless
S1: nights if I would have not given up, but changed
S1: my direction earlier. It wasn't about, you know, oh, I'm
S1: not going to communicate. I just could have been smarter
S1: about how I communicated. I could have been less reactive.
S1: I could have let it affect me less, because I
S1: kept trying to communicate over and over in different ways
S1: and have accountability and create structure. And it didn't help.
S1: It continued to frustrate and not work, which made the
S1: whole thing even worse. So number one, communication does not
S1: fix everything. Second lesson similar vain, but distinctly different. For me,
S1: it is not my job to be the savior of
S1: a situation. I, like many entrepreneurs, like many hard charging,
S1: goal oriented people, believe that you can drop me in
S1: any situation and I can fix it. And I did
S1: great work last year and did save countless situations from
S1: being worse, going a different direction, uh, and helped progress
S1: them towards the right direction. However, I didn't need to.
S1: Just because I can fix something does not mean that
S1: it is. The best use of my time, does not
S1: mean it's what I want to do. And sometimes I
S1: as I look back in my life, I will just
S1: jump in to save something. I will jump in to
S1: fix it because I know that I can, but that
S1: doesn't mean that I should. And why that was an
S1: important lesson last year is by being a savior to
S1: a situation, it forced me to be great, not just okay,
S1: it forced me to be great and learn to be
S1: great at two separate things. And the reality is, if
S1: you're learning to be great at two separate things, you're
S1: probably going to be average, maybe even poor at both.
S1: And I didn't recognize how little traction this other area
S1: of our business was getting because my focus wasn't really there,
S1: even though I said it was there and I wanted
S1: it to be there, it really wasn't there. And so
S1: if I wouldn't have had this knee jerk reaction to
S1: be the savior and to fix something, I would have
S1: been able to really execute and become great at something
S1: that I was learning instead. Still to this day. I'm
S1: poor at the thing that I wanted to learn last
S1: year that I am going to learn, and I am
S1: going to be great at this year. And it just
S1: led me last year to being average at two new things,
S1: which sucks. When I look back at the last year,
S1: it really sucks that I just didn't make more progress,
S1: and I'm disappointed that it took me as long as
S1: it did to figure that out. But going into this year,
S1: if you're wanting to be truly excellent and get results
S1: at something. My biggest piece of advice, my biggest lesson learned,
S1: is go all in on that thing. Do not try
S1: to do two things. Do not try to be, you know,
S1: the best, uh, golfer and also grow your business by
S1: five x. Just go all in on one of those things.
S1: And when you start getting good at that thing and
S1: becoming great at that thing. Okay, then add the golf in.
S1: But don't do it before you're great. Do not do
S1: it before you're great. Number three I did a lot
S1: of work on myself this year. I probably spent more
S1: time this year than I've ever spent in my entire
S1: life on self-development. And one of the biggest takeaways from
S1: this development that I did this year is I can
S1: do things my way that are in alignment with my
S1: values and our align our and and our in alignment with.
S1: Having virtues that I believe in. What I mean by
S1: this is. It's so easy to pick up how other
S1: people do business, specifically in my instance. I've had Brandon,
S1: my husband, as a mentor for my entire career over
S1: a decade. Grant Cardone is a mentor of mine. I've
S1: watched all of these people in the businesses that I
S1: work in, communicate with people, handle situations and see how
S1: they do things and watch how they're successful. And of course,
S1: I've done what we say to do model, mimic, master, multiply.
S1: But there are certain things that I've picked up that
S1: really aren't me. Like one of the things I hate
S1: sending direct, pointed emails. I hate it when I'm doing it,
S1: and I know that I hate it because I hate
S1: opening the responses. And I've watched many of my mentors
S1: send these types of emails. And so I just picked
S1: this communication style up. Well, really, my preferred communication is
S1: actually through a phone call. I would much rather have
S1: a phone call, have a voice message with some sort
S1: of direct communication so that the person can hear what
S1: my intent is, instead of it just coming over so
S1: pointed via email and I don't feel like I'm being gracious,
S1: I don't feel like I'm being patient. I don't feel
S1: like I'm being understanding all these virtues that I believe
S1: in when I send these emails. And I just realized
S1: I do not have to send emails like this. I
S1: don't have to communicate like this. I can pick up
S1: the phone, I can do it different than other people.
S1: And then if I'm going to be direct, at least
S1: I'm direct to the person and I lay it all
S1: out and then it's over with. But I can do
S1: business my way. I can lead meetings my way. I
S1: can be a leader my way. I can drive the
S1: impact that I want to make and do it my way,
S1: that are in a way that is in alignment with
S1: the way that I want to come across. Instead of
S1: picking up and using how other people came across specifically
S1: in ways when I know that I don't feel good
S1: about the way that I'm doing it. So if you
S1: are in a similar situation where you communicate and you're like, shit,
S1: I did not want to communicate like that. That came
S1: across too harsh. I feel bad you don't have to
S1: communicate like that. You can choose a different way. Just
S1: because you saw somebody else do that does not mean
S1: that you have to do it that exact way. And
S1: in 2024, I'm really going to focus on the leader
S1: that I want to be versus the leader that I've
S1: thought I needed to be, and the leader that I
S1: thought other people wanted me to be. Who is Natalie
S1: as a leader, what is my leadership profile? How do
S1: I want to be known with my team? Obviously getting
S1: results is at the core of that, but I believe
S1: I can go about this in a way that feels
S1: much more genuine and connected to my preference. That will
S1: get an even better result than I've been able to
S1: get over the last decade. All right. Number five. So
S1: I had a 30th birthday this last year and on
S1: my 30th birthday. Things were a shit show. There was
S1: more pressure than I've ever experienced from a business standpoint.
S1: I had a particular set of videos on TikTok that
S1: went viral of people just being rude, and normally that
S1: stuff doesn't get to me, but the feedback that they
S1: were giving was also mirroring the situation that was happening
S1: in Live fire. And it just I woke up on
S1: my 30th birthday. I remember taking a shower in New
S1: York City, just thinking. I have waited for this day
S1: and wanted to be proud of myself on this day
S1: for the last ten years, and I'm so fucking pissed
S1: that this is what's happening on this day, because it
S1: was really hard for me to just snap out of
S1: it and appreciate the person that I've become and how
S1: proud I should have been on my 30th birthday, because
S1: I was just so disappointed in myself for a variety
S1: of things and in its own way. Funny enough. How?
S1: The learning lesson on this is things aren't always how
S1: they feel, and I wanted to just continue to tell
S1: myself that things aren't always how they feel. Even though
S1: they felt really shitty at that moment, they felt difficult.
S1: They felt sucky. It felt like everything that I didn't
S1: want it to be, that's not actually how things were.
S1: And I had to really separate, like consciously separate my
S1: feelings from looking objectively at reality. On my 30th birthday,
S1: I had accomplished almost everything I had set out to
S1: accomplish over the last decade. There are few areas where
S1: I definitely fell short, but I have so much and
S1: had so much to be thankful for, and this concept
S1: of things aren't how they feel was just a strengthening
S1: moment for me. That I can handle really uncomfortable feeling
S1: things and recognize that that's not actually how life is.
S1: And I can pull myself out. And the months after that,
S1: I did a good job of just extracting from the
S1: feelings and focusing on how is the state of what's happening,
S1: how is the reality? Because if the reality is the
S1: stats are going up and things are looking great and
S1: they objectively are great, just because I feel like they're shitty,
S1: it doesn't really matter. Because look at the stats. The
S1: stats are fantastic. All right. Number 1234. We are on
S1: number five. Pay more and get more. Pay more for
S1: better people. I hired a role in our business, and
S1: I paid $100,000 less for this role. Then I ended
S1: up paying and the $100,000 that I saved on the
S1: first person actually cost me $10 million. I should not
S1: have been cheap. I should have gone and looked at
S1: the full role, really understanding and and including in this
S1: person's job description what I wanted to happen, what I
S1: wanted to have them be responsible for, what I wanted
S1: to have happen versus what I thought we should be paying.
S1: I thought we should be paying 250. We should have
S1: been paying 350, and 350 would have gotten us everything
S1: that we needed and more, and that is what ended
S1: up happening. So pay more. Don't cheap yourself, cheap yourself.
S1: Don't cheat yourself with bad talent just because you think
S1: that you can't afford the additional 20,000 or the additional 100,000.
S1: Now granted, every role you can't choose to treat like that,
S1: but the ones that report to you, the ones that
S1: are directly responsible for handling things on your behalf, the
S1: ones that are in key leadership roles, spend the money
S1: to find the right talent. And if you don't find
S1: the right talent, do not waste your time on the
S1: wrong person. Just putting a body in a seat and
S1: thinking that they're good enough. But seeing all of these
S1: red flags just is the wrong thing to do. So
S1: pay more six. Especially when you're having a hell of
S1: a year. Consistency wins. This goes a little bit back
S1: to things aren't always how they feel. If you just
S1: keep going, if you just keep showing up, if you
S1: just keep being tenacious through the sock, through how horrible
S1: it is, it wins. That in and of itself wins.
S1: And I'm excited about a handful of relationships that are
S1: coming into fruition right now, because I can't share with
S1: you what they are yet, but I know it's because
S1: these people just kept watching us show up and they
S1: didn't know about the bullshit that was going on. They
S1: didn't know that things were hard. They just saw that
S1: we were consistent, that I was consistent, and that I
S1: kept showing up. And that in and of itself sets
S1: an example for people. And it's something that's aspirational because
S1: most people can't be consistent. The majority of people, your
S1: team members, maybe even yourself, other leaders struggle with consistently
S1: showing up, being steady Eddie, every single day you see
S1: them showing up, you know that they're there. They are
S1: figuring it out. Most people quit or they try to build,
S1: you know, a lifestyle business where they don't really want
S1: to be consistent. They don't want to have accountability for
S1: any of their actions or what they show up to
S1: or what they don't show up to. So consistency, how
S1: can you be the most consistent person this year? That's
S1: what I'm focused on. How can I be the most
S1: consistent person? I already know that I have this muscle
S1: flexed like I I got. I figured out the consistency,
S1: but in new things, I'm trying something new. This year.
S1: I'm going for something a lot bigger this year. And
S1: this reminder, this lesson of like, I just have to
S1: be consistent with it. I'm not going to be perfect
S1: out of the gate. It's going to be freaking hard,
S1: but I can be consistent in the process. Number seven,
S1: this is something that I'm definitely going to be implementing
S1: this year because I learned this about myself last year.
S1: I love a threat, put a threat in my environment,
S1: put something that is scary to me that could damage
S1: something that could hurt me, that could make me not successful.
S1: Anything that is a threat in my environment and that
S1: is going to help me perform. Some people crumble at threats.
S1: Some people crumble at pressure. For me, threats freaking help.
S1: And instead of avoiding threats, instead of trying to not
S1: have anything go wrong. I'm going into this year actually
S1: looking for how I can create a threat in my
S1: environment because I know it is a performance enhancer for me,
S1: and this goes to this idea of what helps you perform.
S1: Do you actually know what the conditions are that help
S1: get the best out of you? That's what a good
S1: coach does. A good coach is able to say, hey,
S1: I see that you are this type of player and
S1: therefore the environment that you're going to be in is
S1: going to be as conducive as possible. My job is
S1: to make it as conducive as possible to get the
S1: best out of you. I talk about, you know, reality
S1: equaling potential. Does your reality does your real circumstances equal
S1: what you are capable of, what your potential is, and
S1: a good coach really sees what your potential is, what
S1: your business could create, what type of partner you are,
S1: what your athletic ability is, how fit you want to be,
S1: whatever your potential is, and they help craft and hold
S1: you accountable to this environment that is going to allow
S1: you to actually get there. And if you don't focus
S1: on your environment and really understanding what helps you, you
S1: might accidentally seek and go after all of the things
S1: that make you comfortable and make you happy and make
S1: you feel good about yourself. Well, if I know that
S1: I actually feel good about myself when I achieve something
S1: and when I hit my target, and my target is
S1: something that's aggressive and ridiculous and terrifying, instead of seeking
S1: happiness and pleasure and comfort, I'm going to seek the
S1: circumstances that are going to create the version of Natalee
S1: that she needs to be in order to get to
S1: where she wants to go, and for me, it's a threat.
S1: I need a threat. I need that thing that's going
S1: to help me play the game. Threats and barriers are
S1: part of games, and we all create games in our lives,
S1: whether we recognize it or not. Life is a game.
S1: I am a huge believer of that. And so instead
S1: of letting the threat happen to me, I am choosing
S1: my threats and trying that out for 2024 because I
S1: see how the impact of 2023 and these threats that
S1: I had really created and drew out in many moments,
S1: the best of what I had to offer. All right.
S1: Number eight. How you feel. Doesn't matter. Results do. Less
S1: emphasis on feelings. Less emphasis on the bullshit. More emphasis
S1: on how are the stats. And even though I started
S1: this whole podcast by saying 2023 was a hell of
S1: a year and it sucked in so many areas and
S1: was the worst career or worst year that I had professionally.
S1: Funny thing is, if you look at the results of
S1: the businesses that I've run, the teams that I've been
S1: responsible for, they've flourished through this year. We just closed
S1: Cardinal Ventures year, uh, two days ago, and we had
S1: the best month in the history of our company. In
S1: December we had a, I mean, we two extra business
S1: year over year. We just we crushed it and health
S1: business did the same I mean astronomical growth. So as
S1: much as I can say, oh it frickin sucked. And
S1: it was horrible. But did we win the game? Well, yeah,
S1: we won the frickin game. We hit our target. So
S1: therefore it doesn't really matter how you feel in the process.
S1: I'm happy going into this next year and have a
S1: lot of confidence because we won the game. And I
S1: know that despite how I feel, we're going to win
S1: the game next year because I'm going to do what
S1: is required of me, not the way or the things
S1: that I want to feel going into this next year.
S1: Number nine. Groups matter. This might be an interesting one,
S1: but I'm gonna go for it. So in 2023, I
S1: realized something that I'd never known about myself. And that is,
S1: I've never really strongly associated myself with groups that I'm
S1: a part of. My whole life, I felt like an
S1: outsider in groups I've never felt accepted. Uh, I contribute
S1: as a very strong individual contributor, but I don't think
S1: of myself as somebody who's influencing and creating a really
S1: strong group dynamic for the sake of the group. It
S1: is always been for really myself, for being able to
S1: see what I'm capable of and how I can help.
S1: But it comes from it comes from me, not from
S1: thinking that the group wants me. The group needs me,
S1: that I can make an effect in the group. And
S1: so as part of the self-development work that I did,
S1: I realized that because I don't feel like I'm a
S1: part of groups, I don't contribute to groups in the
S1: way that I should. And I watch my husband. He
S1: is the best group contributor you have ever seen. He
S1: is just constantly thinking about ways to enhance the groups
S1: that he's a part of, and to add value and
S1: to do these creative little things. I do that individually
S1: with one on one, but I don't do it as groups.
S1: And so I because I learned this about myself, it's
S1: something I'm going to work on in 2024, which is
S1: how can I create an effect on the groups that
S1: I'm a part of. And as I ask myself that question,
S1: and as I was asking that over the course of
S1: the last couple months of the year, it really just
S1: struck a chord with me that the reason that you
S1: would want to make an impact in the groups that
S1: you're part of is because you enjoy the groups, and
S1: that might sound silly, but I think growing up, I
S1: just never really realized that I got to choose the
S1: groups that I was a part of. I felt like
S1: I was a de facto group member. I went to
S1: a really small high school. There weren't a lot of
S1: groups or things that I chose that I enjoyed to do,
S1: that I enjoyed doing, and the same happened with college.
S1: I was didn't really join any groups. And so now
S1: as an adult, as a 30 year old woman, man,
S1: the groups that I am a part of, I choose
S1: to be a part of, and therefore I should choose
S1: to be a contributor to these groups. And I can
S1: create on them, and I can be an influence to them,
S1: instead of treating them as if I'm not a part
S1: of them, or I didn't choose them, or I don't
S1: like them, because of course I do. I wouldn't choose
S1: to be a part of them if I wasn't. So
S1: it really is just taking more responsibility for the groups
S1: that I'm a part of. And if I don't want
S1: to be a part of a group as an adult,
S1: I can choose not to be a part of the group.
S1: But if I do choose to be part of a group,
S1: what is my contribution to that group? What is the
S1: effect that I want to have on that group? I'm
S1: going to be so much more intentional about the groups
S1: that I am in and creating on them. Instead of
S1: being effect of these groups or thinking that it's somebody
S1: else's job to make them wonderful, it's really not. It's
S1: my job and I have the ability to do that,
S1: and I can do that very well one on one.
S1: But now it's going to be group group time, group
S1: focus time. All right. With that, those are my lessons
S1: learned from 2024. I'm rooting for you in 28. These
S1: are lessons learned for 2023 and 2024. I'm rooting for you.
S1: I'm rooting for myself. I'm rooting for everybody out there
S1: who is making changes right now, who is envisioning and
S1: imagining what a new version of them looks like, what
S1: a better version of them looks like. I am in
S1: love with the goal setting process at the mark in time.
S1: That is a new year. I think it is magical
S1: if you choose to make it magical, and it doesn't
S1: mean anything if you choose not to put a lot
S1: of weight in it. But if you want to see
S1: your life change, I believe that this is the time
S1: to do it. Even if you are listening to this
S1: and it's well into the year, it doesn't matter when
S1: you can start new at any point in time by
S1: making a new decision. And with that, preciate you rooting
S1: for you. Looking forward to talking to you next time.