WEBVTT - Lessons Learned in 2023 0:00:09.780 --> 0:00:15.120 Welcome back to Building Billions. It is officially a new year. 0:00:15.150 --> 0:00:19.380 Ladies and gentlemen, it is January 2nd. I am coming 0:00:19.380 --> 0:00:23.520 at you from Cabo San Lucas, about to leave to 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:26.940 head back home. Just got off of our first leadership 0:00:26.940 --> 0:00:30.270 team meeting of the year, and I wanted to share 0:00:30.270 --> 0:00:36.930 with you lessons learned in 2023. I had the most 0:00:36.930 --> 0:00:42.420 difficult year of my career. I would say this year 0:00:42.420 --> 0:00:46.470 by far was the hardest, the most challenging, the most stressful. 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:49.830 I had the most sleepless nights this year, had the 0:00:49.830 --> 0:00:53.400 most amount of anxiousness this year. It was hands down 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.070 the most challenging year of my career. And so I'd 0:00:56.070 --> 0:00:59.070 like to share with you the key things that I 0:00:59.070 --> 0:01:03.720 learned this year that if I had the chance to 0:01:03.810 --> 0:01:07.140 do this year over again, I would have been able 0:01:07.140 --> 0:01:09.059 to do things differently. It would have had a different perspective. 0:01:09.060 --> 0:01:12.750 I would have had more control in certain areas, responsibility 0:01:12.750 --> 0:01:16.080 in other areas. So let's just dive on in. First 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:22.080 lesson I learned communication fixes most things, but it does 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:27.000 not fix everything. I came into this year thinking that 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:31.500 my superb communication skills and my ability to be really 0:01:31.500 --> 0:01:35.640 direct with somebody, my ability to be aligned and give 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:41.640 direction and feedback was going to solve this challenge that 0:01:41.790 --> 0:01:46.380 I was facing. And the reality of communication is you 0:01:46.380 --> 0:01:48.840 have to have two parties acting in good faith for 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:52.020 communication to solve a problem. And if one party is 0:01:52.020 --> 0:01:55.110 not acting in good faith and you can't change that, 0:01:55.110 --> 0:01:59.130 the lack of good faith from the other party, uh, 0:01:59.130 --> 0:02:01.740 you can't change that. Well, then communication isn't going to 0:02:01.740 --> 0:02:04.080 fix it. And it's only going to get worse. And 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:08.910 it took me probably six months into this constant fighting 0:02:08.910 --> 0:02:13.020 in this communication cycle to realize that my ability to 0:02:13.020 --> 0:02:17.370 communicate can't. My great ability to communicate that is one 0:02:17.370 --> 0:02:21.780 of my strengths. It can't outweigh the lack of somebodies 0:02:21.780 --> 0:02:27.030 willingness to act in good faith, to be a good partner, 0:02:27.030 --> 0:02:32.130 to work well in conjunction with me. And I think 0:02:32.130 --> 0:02:34.829 this would have helped me save a lot of sleepless 0:02:34.830 --> 0:02:39.930 nights if I would have not given up, but changed 0:02:39.930 --> 0:02:43.290 my direction earlier. It wasn't about, you know, oh, I'm 0:02:43.290 --> 0:02:45.660 not going to communicate. I just could have been smarter 0:02:45.660 --> 0:02:49.980 about how I communicated. I could have been less reactive. 0:02:49.980 --> 0:02:53.460 I could have let it affect me less, because I 0:02:53.460 --> 0:02:56.400 kept trying to communicate over and over in different ways 0:02:56.400 --> 0:03:01.050 and have accountability and create structure. And it didn't help. 0:03:01.050 --> 0:03:06.870 It continued to frustrate and not work, which made the 0:03:06.870 --> 0:03:10.950 whole thing even worse. So number one, communication does not 0:03:10.950 --> 0:03:18.359 fix everything. Second lesson similar vain, but distinctly different. For me, 0:03:19.470 --> 0:03:23.220 it is not my job to be the savior of 0:03:23.220 --> 0:03:31.230 a situation. I, like many entrepreneurs, like many hard charging, 0:03:31.230 --> 0:03:34.470 goal oriented people, believe that you can drop me in 0:03:34.470 --> 0:03:38.880 any situation and I can fix it. And I did 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:45.420 great work last year and did save countless situations from 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:51.900 being worse, going a different direction, uh, and helped progress 0:03:51.900 --> 0:03:55.530 them towards the right direction. However, I didn't need to. 0:03:55.530 --> 0:03:58.380 Just because I can fix something does not mean that 0:03:58.380 --> 0:04:01.020 it is. The best use of my time, does not 0:04:01.020 --> 0:04:05.340 mean it's what I want to do. And sometimes I 0:04:06.270 --> 0:04:08.520 as I look back in my life, I will just 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.130 jump in to save something. I will jump in to 0:04:11.130 --> 0:04:12.780 fix it because I know that I can, but that 0:04:12.780 --> 0:04:15.660 doesn't mean that I should. And why that was an 0:04:15.660 --> 0:04:20.070 important lesson last year is by being a savior to 0:04:20.070 --> 0:04:24.420 a situation, it forced me to be great, not just okay, 0:04:24.420 --> 0:04:27.510 it forced me to be great and learn to be 0:04:27.510 --> 0:04:31.050 great at two separate things. And the reality is, if 0:04:31.050 --> 0:04:34.349 you're learning to be great at two separate things, you're 0:04:34.350 --> 0:04:37.920 probably going to be average, maybe even poor at both. 0:04:38.430 --> 0:04:44.820 And I didn't recognize how little traction this other area 0:04:44.820 --> 0:04:48.120 of our business was getting because my focus wasn't really there, 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.100 even though I said it was there and I wanted 0:04:50.100 --> 0:04:52.890 it to be there, it really wasn't there. And so 0:04:52.890 --> 0:04:55.080 if I wouldn't have had this knee jerk reaction to 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:57.090 be the savior and to fix something, I would have 0:04:57.089 --> 0:04:59.940 been able to really execute and become great at something 0:04:59.940 --> 0:05:03.089 that I was learning instead. Still to this day. I'm 0:05:03.089 --> 0:05:06.180 poor at the thing that I wanted to learn last 0:05:06.180 --> 0:05:08.310 year that I am going to learn, and I am 0:05:08.310 --> 0:05:10.620 going to be great at this year. And it just 0:05:10.620 --> 0:05:15.090 led me last year to being average at two new things, 0:05:15.089 --> 0:05:17.339 which sucks. When I look back at the last year, 0:05:17.339 --> 0:05:19.950 it really sucks that I just didn't make more progress, 0:05:19.950 --> 0:05:22.650 and I'm disappointed that it took me as long as 0:05:22.650 --> 0:05:26.339 it did to figure that out. But going into this year, 0:05:26.339 --> 0:05:29.430 if you're wanting to be truly excellent and get results 0:05:29.430 --> 0:05:33.419 at something. My biggest piece of advice, my biggest lesson learned, 0:05:33.420 --> 0:05:36.390 is go all in on that thing. Do not try 0:05:36.390 --> 0:05:39.720 to do two things. Do not try to be, you know, 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:44.880 the best, uh, golfer and also grow your business by 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:49.500 five x. Just go all in on one of those things. 0:05:49.500 --> 0:05:53.160 And when you start getting good at that thing and 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.770 becoming great at that thing. Okay, then add the golf in. 0:05:55.770 --> 0:05:59.490 But don't do it before you're great. Do not do 0:05:59.490 --> 0:06:04.200 it before you're great. Number three I did a lot 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:06.690 of work on myself this year. I probably spent more 0:06:06.690 --> 0:06:09.840 time this year than I've ever spent in my entire 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:15.660 life on self-development. And one of the biggest takeaways from 0:06:15.660 --> 0:06:20.850 this development that I did this year is I can 0:06:20.850 --> 0:06:25.740 do things my way that are in alignment with my 0:06:26.070 --> 0:06:30.779 values and our align our and and our in alignment with. 0:06:32.180 --> 0:06:36.560 Having virtues that I believe in. What I mean by 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:42.240 this is. It's so easy to pick up how other 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:46.680 people do business, specifically in my instance. I've had Brandon, 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:50.580 my husband, as a mentor for my entire career over 0:06:50.580 --> 0:06:54.000 a decade. Grant Cardone is a mentor of mine. I've 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:56.940 watched all of these people in the businesses that I 0:06:56.940 --> 0:07:03.150 work in, communicate with people, handle situations and see how 0:07:03.150 --> 0:07:06.180 they do things and watch how they're successful. And of course, 0:07:06.180 --> 0:07:10.080 I've done what we say to do model, mimic, master, multiply. 0:07:10.290 --> 0:07:12.900 But there are certain things that I've picked up that 0:07:14.220 --> 0:07:18.930 really aren't me. Like one of the things I hate 0:07:18.930 --> 0:07:25.020 sending direct, pointed emails. I hate it when I'm doing it, 0:07:25.020 --> 0:07:26.910 and I know that I hate it because I hate 0:07:26.910 --> 0:07:31.110 opening the responses. And I've watched many of my mentors 0:07:31.110 --> 0:07:35.520 send these types of emails. And so I just picked 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:41.670 this communication style up. Well, really, my preferred communication is 0:07:41.670 --> 0:07:44.160 actually through a phone call. I would much rather have 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.680 a phone call, have a voice message with some sort 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:49.470 of direct communication so that the person can hear what 0:07:49.470 --> 0:07:52.290 my intent is, instead of it just coming over so 0:07:52.290 --> 0:07:57.240 pointed via email and I don't feel like I'm being gracious, 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:59.160 I don't feel like I'm being patient. I don't feel 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.410 like I'm being understanding all these virtues that I believe 0:08:01.410 --> 0:08:06.180 in when I send these emails. And I just realized 0:08:06.180 --> 0:08:08.429 I do not have to send emails like this. I 0:08:08.430 --> 0:08:10.620 don't have to communicate like this. I can pick up 0:08:10.620 --> 0:08:12.720 the phone, I can do it different than other people. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.550 And then if I'm going to be direct, at least 0:08:14.550 --> 0:08:16.800 I'm direct to the person and I lay it all 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:20.130 out and then it's over with. But I can do 0:08:20.130 --> 0:08:23.130 business my way. I can lead meetings my way. I 0:08:23.130 --> 0:08:26.429 can be a leader my way. I can drive the 0:08:26.430 --> 0:08:28.560 impact that I want to make and do it my way, 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:30.870 that are in a way that is in alignment with 0:08:30.870 --> 0:08:34.530 the way that I want to come across. Instead of 0:08:34.530 --> 0:08:38.280 picking up and using how other people came across specifically 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.679 in ways when I know that I don't feel good 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:43.770 about the way that I'm doing it. So if you 0:08:43.770 --> 0:08:47.910 are in a similar situation where you communicate and you're like, shit, 0:08:47.910 --> 0:08:50.880 I did not want to communicate like that. That came 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:54.390 across too harsh. I feel bad you don't have to 0:08:54.390 --> 0:08:56.490 communicate like that. You can choose a different way. Just 0:08:56.490 --> 0:08:58.650 because you saw somebody else do that does not mean 0:08:58.650 --> 0:09:01.830 that you have to do it that exact way. And 0:09:01.830 --> 0:09:04.440 in 2024, I'm really going to focus on the leader 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:07.170 that I want to be versus the leader that I've 0:09:07.170 --> 0:09:10.770 thought I needed to be, and the leader that I 0:09:10.770 --> 0:09:14.430 thought other people wanted me to be. Who is Natalie 0:09:14.429 --> 0:09:17.880 as a leader, what is my leadership profile? How do 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.059 I want to be known with my team? Obviously getting 0:09:21.059 --> 0:09:23.400 results is at the core of that, but I believe 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:25.020 I can go about this in a way that feels 0:09:25.020 --> 0:09:30.689 much more genuine and connected to my preference. That will 0:09:30.690 --> 0:09:33.179 get an even better result than I've been able to 0:09:33.179 --> 0:09:38.729 get over the last decade. All right. Number five. So 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:42.480 I had a 30th birthday this last year and on 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:50.040 my 30th birthday. Things were a shit show. There was 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.970 more pressure than I've ever experienced from a business standpoint. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:59.400 I had a particular set of videos on TikTok that 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:03.030 went viral of people just being rude, and normally that 0:10:03.030 --> 0:10:05.820 stuff doesn't get to me, but the feedback that they 0:10:05.820 --> 0:10:09.360 were giving was also mirroring the situation that was happening 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.450 in Live fire. And it just I woke up on 0:10:12.450 --> 0:10:16.230 my 30th birthday. I remember taking a shower in New 0:10:16.230 --> 0:10:19.469 York City, just thinking. I have waited for this day 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:22.320 and wanted to be proud of myself on this day 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:27.120 for the last ten years, and I'm so fucking pissed 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:30.240 that this is what's happening on this day, because it 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.100 was really hard for me to just snap out of 0:10:32.100 --> 0:10:36.510 it and appreciate the person that I've become and how 0:10:36.510 --> 0:10:39.840 proud I should have been on my 30th birthday, because 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.360 I was just so disappointed in myself for a variety 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:48.180 of things and in its own way. Funny enough. How? 0:10:49.980 --> 0:10:54.090 The learning lesson on this is things aren't always how 0:10:54.090 --> 0:10:58.469 they feel, and I wanted to just continue to tell 0:10:58.470 --> 0:11:02.790 myself that things aren't always how they feel. Even though 0:11:02.790 --> 0:11:05.670 they felt really shitty at that moment, they felt difficult. 0:11:05.670 --> 0:11:09.179 They felt sucky. It felt like everything that I didn't 0:11:09.179 --> 0:11:12.270 want it to be, that's not actually how things were. 0:11:12.510 --> 0:11:17.100 And I had to really separate, like consciously separate my 0:11:17.100 --> 0:11:22.380 feelings from looking objectively at reality. On my 30th birthday, 0:11:22.380 --> 0:11:25.950 I had accomplished almost everything I had set out to 0:11:25.950 --> 0:11:29.460 accomplish over the last decade. There are few areas where 0:11:29.460 --> 0:11:33.210 I definitely fell short, but I have so much and 0:11:33.210 --> 0:11:36.990 had so much to be thankful for, and this concept 0:11:36.990 --> 0:11:42.360 of things aren't how they feel was just a strengthening 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:46.560 moment for me. That I can handle really uncomfortable feeling 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:50.550 things and recognize that that's not actually how life is. 0:11:50.550 --> 0:11:53.160 And I can pull myself out. And the months after that, 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:55.740 I did a good job of just extracting from the 0:11:55.740 --> 0:12:01.349 feelings and focusing on how is the state of what's happening, 0:12:01.350 --> 0:12:04.080 how is the reality? Because if the reality is the 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:07.920 stats are going up and things are looking great and 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:11.309 they objectively are great, just because I feel like they're shitty, 0:12:11.309 --> 0:12:13.620 it doesn't really matter. Because look at the stats. The 0:12:13.620 --> 0:12:20.819 stats are fantastic. All right. Number 1234. We are on 0:12:21.090 --> 0:12:32.490 number five. Pay more and get more. Pay more for 0:12:32.490 --> 0:12:36.630 better people. I hired a role in our business, and 0:12:36.630 --> 0:12:40.350 I paid $100,000 less for this role. Then I ended 0:12:40.350 --> 0:12:45.000 up paying and the $100,000 that I saved on the 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:51.959 first person actually cost me $10 million. I should not 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.840 have been cheap. I should have gone and looked at 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:59.580 the full role, really understanding and and including in this 0:12:59.580 --> 0:13:02.370 person's job description what I wanted to happen, what I 0:13:02.370 --> 0:13:04.890 wanted to have them be responsible for, what I wanted 0:13:04.890 --> 0:13:10.260 to have happen versus what I thought we should be paying. 0:13:10.290 --> 0:13:12.210 I thought we should be paying 250. We should have 0:13:12.210 --> 0:13:15.809 been paying 350, and 350 would have gotten us everything 0:13:15.809 --> 0:13:18.300 that we needed and more, and that is what ended 0:13:18.300 --> 0:13:24.569 up happening. So pay more. Don't cheap yourself, cheap yourself. 0:13:24.570 --> 0:13:28.230 Don't cheat yourself with bad talent just because you think 0:13:28.230 --> 0:13:31.979 that you can't afford the additional 20,000 or the additional 100,000. 0:13:31.980 --> 0:13:35.400 Now granted, every role you can't choose to treat like that, 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.710 but the ones that report to you, the ones that 0:13:37.710 --> 0:13:41.099 are directly responsible for handling things on your behalf, the 0:13:41.100 --> 0:13:44.160 ones that are in key leadership roles, spend the money 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.170 to find the right talent. And if you don't find 0:13:46.170 --> 0:13:49.080 the right talent, do not waste your time on the 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.770 wrong person. Just putting a body in a seat and 0:13:52.770 --> 0:13:54.900 thinking that they're good enough. But seeing all of these 0:13:54.900 --> 0:13:58.560 red flags just is the wrong thing to do. So 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:09.980 pay more six. Especially when you're having a hell of 0:14:09.980 --> 0:14:14.990 a year. Consistency wins. This goes a little bit back 0:14:14.990 --> 0:14:18.320 to things aren't always how they feel. If you just 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:20.570 keep going, if you just keep showing up, if you 0:14:20.570 --> 0:14:24.410 just keep being tenacious through the sock, through how horrible 0:14:24.410 --> 0:14:28.700 it is, it wins. That in and of itself wins. 0:14:28.700 --> 0:14:31.100 And I'm excited about a handful of relationships that are 0:14:31.100 --> 0:14:34.580 coming into fruition right now, because I can't share with 0:14:34.580 --> 0:14:38.240 you what they are yet, but I know it's because 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:42.860 these people just kept watching us show up and they 0:14:42.860 --> 0:14:45.080 didn't know about the bullshit that was going on. They 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:47.990 didn't know that things were hard. They just saw that 0:14:47.990 --> 0:14:50.780 we were consistent, that I was consistent, and that I 0:14:50.780 --> 0:14:54.710 kept showing up. And that in and of itself sets 0:14:54.890 --> 0:14:58.370 an example for people. And it's something that's aspirational because 0:14:58.370 --> 0:15:02.000 most people can't be consistent. The majority of people, your 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:07.220 team members, maybe even yourself, other leaders struggle with consistently 0:15:07.220 --> 0:15:11.960 showing up, being steady Eddie, every single day you see 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.300 them showing up, you know that they're there. They are 0:15:14.300 --> 0:15:18.170 figuring it out. Most people quit or they try to build, 0:15:18.170 --> 0:15:21.170 you know, a lifestyle business where they don't really want 0:15:21.170 --> 0:15:24.650 to be consistent. They don't want to have accountability for 0:15:24.650 --> 0:15:27.020 any of their actions or what they show up to 0:15:27.020 --> 0:15:31.220 or what they don't show up to. So consistency, how 0:15:31.220 --> 0:15:33.890 can you be the most consistent person this year? That's 0:15:33.890 --> 0:15:35.450 what I'm focused on. How can I be the most 0:15:35.450 --> 0:15:38.090 consistent person? I already know that I have this muscle 0:15:38.570 --> 0:15:42.590 flexed like I I got. I figured out the consistency, 0:15:42.830 --> 0:15:46.609 but in new things, I'm trying something new. This year. 0:15:46.610 --> 0:15:49.550 I'm going for something a lot bigger this year. And 0:15:49.550 --> 0:15:52.040 this reminder, this lesson of like, I just have to 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:53.900 be consistent with it. I'm not going to be perfect 0:15:53.900 --> 0:15:56.330 out of the gate. It's going to be freaking hard, 0:15:56.330 --> 0:16:01.910 but I can be consistent in the process. Number seven, 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.000 this is something that I'm definitely going to be implementing 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:07.730 this year because I learned this about myself last year. 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:12.200 I love a threat, put a threat in my environment, 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:16.490 put something that is scary to me that could damage 0:16:16.490 --> 0:16:21.890 something that could hurt me, that could make me not successful. 0:16:21.890 --> 0:16:24.620 Anything that is a threat in my environment and that 0:16:24.620 --> 0:16:29.840 is going to help me perform. Some people crumble at threats. 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:34.880 Some people crumble at pressure. For me, threats freaking help. 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:38.840 And instead of avoiding threats, instead of trying to not 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.660 have anything go wrong. I'm going into this year actually 0:16:41.660 --> 0:16:44.480 looking for how I can create a threat in my 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:49.220 environment because I know it is a performance enhancer for me, 0:16:49.220 --> 0:16:52.880 and this goes to this idea of what helps you perform. 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:55.640 Do you actually know what the conditions are that help 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:58.310 get the best out of you? That's what a good 0:16:58.310 --> 0:17:00.830 coach does. A good coach is able to say, hey, 0:17:00.830 --> 0:17:03.530 I see that you are this type of player and 0:17:03.530 --> 0:17:05.899 therefore the environment that you're going to be in is 0:17:05.900 --> 0:17:09.200 going to be as conducive as possible. My job is 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:12.080 to make it as conducive as possible to get the 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:15.770 best out of you. I talk about, you know, reality 0:17:15.770 --> 0:17:20.210 equaling potential. Does your reality does your real circumstances equal 0:17:20.210 --> 0:17:23.120 what you are capable of, what your potential is, and 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.730 a good coach really sees what your potential is, what 0:17:25.730 --> 0:17:29.000 your business could create, what type of partner you are, 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.810 what your athletic ability is, how fit you want to be, 0:17:32.810 --> 0:17:36.230 whatever your potential is, and they help craft and hold 0:17:36.230 --> 0:17:38.750 you accountable to this environment that is going to allow 0:17:38.750 --> 0:17:42.470 you to actually get there. And if you don't focus 0:17:42.470 --> 0:17:46.640 on your environment and really understanding what helps you, you 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:50.270 might accidentally seek and go after all of the things 0:17:50.270 --> 0:17:53.780 that make you comfortable and make you happy and make 0:17:53.780 --> 0:17:57.860 you feel good about yourself. Well, if I know that 0:17:57.859 --> 0:18:00.680 I actually feel good about myself when I achieve something 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:02.600 and when I hit my target, and my target is 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:07.760 something that's aggressive and ridiculous and terrifying, instead of seeking 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:11.600 happiness and pleasure and comfort, I'm going to seek the 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.630 circumstances that are going to create the version of Natalee 0:18:14.630 --> 0:18:17.060 that she needs to be in order to get to 0:18:17.060 --> 0:18:21.170 where she wants to go, and for me, it's a threat. 0:18:21.170 --> 0:18:24.200 I need a threat. I need that thing that's going 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.110 to help me play the game. Threats and barriers are 0:18:27.109 --> 0:18:30.050 part of games, and we all create games in our lives, 0:18:30.050 --> 0:18:32.810 whether we recognize it or not. Life is a game. 0:18:32.810 --> 0:18:37.370 I am a huge believer of that. And so instead 0:18:37.369 --> 0:18:40.550 of letting the threat happen to me, I am choosing 0:18:40.550 --> 0:18:44.060 my threats and trying that out for 2024 because I 0:18:44.060 --> 0:18:47.929 see how the impact of 2023 and these threats that 0:18:47.930 --> 0:18:51.710 I had really created and drew out in many moments, 0:18:51.710 --> 0:18:56.030 the best of what I had to offer. All right. 0:18:56.030 --> 0:19:04.440 Number eight. How you feel. Doesn't matter. Results do. Less 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:11.070 emphasis on feelings. Less emphasis on the bullshit. More emphasis 0:19:11.070 --> 0:19:15.630 on how are the stats. And even though I started 0:19:15.630 --> 0:19:18.840 this whole podcast by saying 2023 was a hell of 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:22.409 a year and it sucked in so many areas and 0:19:22.410 --> 0:19:25.860 was the worst career or worst year that I had professionally. 0:19:26.340 --> 0:19:29.190 Funny thing is, if you look at the results of 0:19:29.190 --> 0:19:31.860 the businesses that I've run, the teams that I've been 0:19:31.859 --> 0:19:37.410 responsible for, they've flourished through this year. We just closed 0:19:37.410 --> 0:19:41.940 Cardinal Ventures year, uh, two days ago, and we had 0:19:41.940 --> 0:19:44.520 the best month in the history of our company. In 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:49.260 December we had a, I mean, we two extra business 0:19:49.260 --> 0:19:52.500 year over year. We just we crushed it and health 0:19:52.500 --> 0:19:58.409 business did the same I mean astronomical growth. So as 0:19:58.410 --> 0:20:00.510 much as I can say, oh it frickin sucked. And 0:20:00.510 --> 0:20:04.230 it was horrible. But did we win the game? Well, yeah, 0:20:04.230 --> 0:20:06.389 we won the frickin game. We hit our target. So 0:20:06.390 --> 0:20:09.480 therefore it doesn't really matter how you feel in the process. 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:11.550 I'm happy going into this next year and have a 0:20:11.550 --> 0:20:14.850 lot of confidence because we won the game. And I 0:20:14.850 --> 0:20:17.910 know that despite how I feel, we're going to win 0:20:17.910 --> 0:20:20.760 the game next year because I'm going to do what 0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:24.330 is required of me, not the way or the things 0:20:24.330 --> 0:20:26.820 that I want to feel going into this next year. 0:20:28.450 --> 0:20:36.580 Number nine. Groups matter. This might be an interesting one, 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:43.210 but I'm gonna go for it. So in 2023, I 0:20:43.210 --> 0:20:48.610 realized something that I'd never known about myself. And that is, 0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:55.810 I've never really strongly associated myself with groups that I'm 0:20:55.810 --> 0:20:58.810 a part of. My whole life, I felt like an 0:20:58.810 --> 0:21:05.379 outsider in groups I've never felt accepted. Uh, I contribute 0:21:05.380 --> 0:21:08.650 as a very strong individual contributor, but I don't think 0:21:08.650 --> 0:21:13.600 of myself as somebody who's influencing and creating a really 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:16.090 strong group dynamic for the sake of the group. It 0:21:16.090 --> 0:21:22.060 is always been for really myself, for being able to 0:21:22.060 --> 0:21:25.120 see what I'm capable of and how I can help. 0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:28.720 But it comes from it comes from me, not from 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:31.540 thinking that the group wants me. The group needs me, 0:21:31.540 --> 0:21:34.300 that I can make an effect in the group. And 0:21:34.300 --> 0:21:37.720 so as part of the self-development work that I did, 0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:40.359 I realized that because I don't feel like I'm a 0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:43.210 part of groups, I don't contribute to groups in the 0:21:43.210 --> 0:21:45.340 way that I should. And I watch my husband. He 0:21:45.340 --> 0:21:48.580 is the best group contributor you have ever seen. He 0:21:48.580 --> 0:21:53.199 is just constantly thinking about ways to enhance the groups 0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:55.150 that he's a part of, and to add value and 0:21:55.150 --> 0:21:57.880 to do these creative little things. I do that individually 0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:00.760 with one on one, but I don't do it as groups. 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:03.729 And so I because I learned this about myself, it's 0:22:03.730 --> 0:22:07.119 something I'm going to work on in 2024, which is 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:10.209 how can I create an effect on the groups that 0:22:10.210 --> 0:22:14.140 I'm a part of. And as I ask myself that question, 0:22:14.140 --> 0:22:16.570 and as I was asking that over the course of 0:22:16.570 --> 0:22:20.020 the last couple months of the year, it really just 0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:23.109 struck a chord with me that the reason that you 0:22:23.109 --> 0:22:25.750 would want to make an impact in the groups that 0:22:25.750 --> 0:22:30.910 you're part of is because you enjoy the groups, and 0:22:30.910 --> 0:22:34.330 that might sound silly, but I think growing up, I 0:22:34.330 --> 0:22:37.479 just never really realized that I got to choose the 0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:39.040 groups that I was a part of. I felt like 0:22:39.040 --> 0:22:40.899 I was a de facto group member. I went to 0:22:40.900 --> 0:22:42.910 a really small high school. There weren't a lot of 0:22:43.150 --> 0:22:48.340 groups or things that I chose that I enjoyed to do, 0:22:48.340 --> 0:22:52.570 that I enjoyed doing, and the same happened with college. 0:22:52.570 --> 0:22:56.020 I was didn't really join any groups. And so now 0:22:56.020 --> 0:22:59.680 as an adult, as a 30 year old woman, man, 0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:02.620 the groups that I am a part of, I choose 0:23:02.619 --> 0:23:04.810 to be a part of, and therefore I should choose 0:23:04.810 --> 0:23:07.180 to be a contributor to these groups. And I can 0:23:07.180 --> 0:23:10.720 create on them, and I can be an influence to them, 0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:14.560 instead of treating them as if I'm not a part 0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:16.990 of them, or I didn't choose them, or I don't 0:23:16.990 --> 0:23:19.810 like them, because of course I do. I wouldn't choose 0:23:19.810 --> 0:23:22.270 to be a part of them if I wasn't. So 0:23:22.270 --> 0:23:24.790 it really is just taking more responsibility for the groups 0:23:24.790 --> 0:23:28.600 that I'm a part of. And if I don't want 0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:30.310 to be a part of a group as an adult, 0:23:30.310 --> 0:23:32.139 I can choose not to be a part of the group. 0:23:32.140 --> 0:23:34.149 But if I do choose to be part of a group, 0:23:34.150 --> 0:23:37.719 what is my contribution to that group? What is the 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:39.310 effect that I want to have on that group? I'm 0:23:39.310 --> 0:23:41.740 going to be so much more intentional about the groups 0:23:41.740 --> 0:23:45.129 that I am in and creating on them. Instead of 0:23:45.130 --> 0:23:48.820 being effect of these groups or thinking that it's somebody 0:23:48.820 --> 0:23:51.609 else's job to make them wonderful, it's really not. It's 0:23:51.609 --> 0:23:54.040 my job and I have the ability to do that, 0:23:54.190 --> 0:23:56.379 and I can do that very well one on one. 0:23:56.380 --> 0:24:00.460 But now it's going to be group group time, group 0:24:00.460 --> 0:24:04.330 focus time. All right. With that, those are my lessons 0:24:04.330 --> 0:24:10.120 learned from 2024. I'm rooting for you in 28. These 0:24:10.119 --> 0:24:15.040 are lessons learned for 2023 and 2024. I'm rooting for you. 0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:19.030 I'm rooting for myself. I'm rooting for everybody out there 0:24:19.030 --> 0:24:22.929 who is making changes right now, who is envisioning and 0:24:22.930 --> 0:24:26.379 imagining what a new version of them looks like, what 0:24:26.380 --> 0:24:28.750 a better version of them looks like. I am in 0:24:28.750 --> 0:24:33.460 love with the goal setting process at the mark in time. 0:24:33.460 --> 0:24:36.280 That is a new year. I think it is magical 0:24:36.280 --> 0:24:38.920 if you choose to make it magical, and it doesn't 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:40.629 mean anything if you choose not to put a lot 0:24:40.630 --> 0:24:41.980 of weight in it. But if you want to see 0:24:41.980 --> 0:24:45.100 your life change, I believe that this is the time 0:24:45.100 --> 0:24:47.860 to do it. Even if you are listening to this 0:24:47.859 --> 0:24:50.140 and it's well into the year, it doesn't matter when 0:24:50.140 --> 0:24:52.989 you can start new at any point in time by 0:24:52.990 --> 0:24:58.419 making a new decision. And with that, preciate you rooting 0:24:58.420 --> 0:25:00.820 for you. Looking forward to talking to you next time.