1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: It's Marcus in the morning, and we're back with second 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 1: date update. Rounding out the week. We got to say 3 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: good morning to Caleb. Hello, Caleb, what's up? Hey man, 4 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: how are you? I'm good? Are you doing okay? What 5 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,480 Speaker 1: with the ghosting and all? 6 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just one of those things where I don't 7 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 2: get it right, and what I don't understand frustrates me. 8 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: Let's talk about Nadia. So the note that I got 9 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 1: from you was that so you're eating in downtown Berlin. 10 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: Game it was sushi. How did the date unfold? Let's 11 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 1: try to figure out why she ghosted? 12 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 2: First of all, Well, first of all, the type of 13 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 2: sushi restaurant is like the kind where a small intimate plate, 14 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 2: like a fancy one where they're making it right in 15 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 2: front of two. And I thought it went really well. 16 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 2: Naughtiya looked great, like, she looked really really good and 17 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,880 Speaker 2: looks hot, and you know, she was reading the entire 18 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 2: menu before ordering. She was very deliberate, and she asked 19 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 2: the you know, thoughtful questions about the fish, and she 20 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 2: just seemed very deliberate, which I like. Okay, we split 21 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 2: a couple of road from Tashimi, had a little sake 22 00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 2: and then a walker you know, down the block to 23 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 2: her car and she thanked meate for dinner and it 24 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 2: was fine, you know, and then then nothing. I don't 25 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:06,119 Speaker 2: know what happened. 26 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,920 Speaker 1: So literal full ghost. 27 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 2: Full ghost, no nothing, Yeah. 28 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: Did you do anything weird like forget how to use 29 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,119 Speaker 1: chopsticks or not split the bill properly or. 30 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 2: No, we didn't. I comleted the bill, and I mean, look, 31 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 2: I think I'm pretty realistic about how things go, and 32 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 2: I thought it went really well. 33 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, we're going to call her, you know this, 34 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 1: so we'll have you on the line. You'll be able 35 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: to hear it right from her. 36 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 3: And A. 37 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: I want to figure out why she goes to but 38 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: B like, let's hope for a second date. I don't know. 39 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: I think we I don't want to say we haven't 40 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: had a second date for days, but it's been days. 41 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,759 Speaker 1: All right, go ahead and get in position. We're gonna 42 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: call naughty and see why she ghosted on you. I 43 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: want to get you a second date. So throw some 44 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: vibes into the universe. Here we go. Hello, Hi, is 45 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: this Nadia? Good morning Nadia. This is Marcus calling from 46 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: Star one on one three A right, Hi, Hi, how 47 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: are you good? Do you listen to the show? 48 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:08,959 Speaker 3: I do? 49 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: Okay? Do you know about Second Date Update? Yes? 50 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 3: I do? 51 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: Great. I get to s vibe like you've been waiting 52 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: to me be on it for some reason. I don't know, 53 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna date until Marcus calls me, well, hey, 54 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: do you you want to be on Second Date Update? 55 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah? 56 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: Sweet? 57 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 3: You might as well just bring kalem on. 58 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: We're here, okay, Caleb are you there? 59 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 2: So here? 60 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: Nice? This is gonna be the most adulting we do 61 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: all day. You guys, So, Nadia, you know the drill 62 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: like Caleb Doug you it's a good first date, he says, 63 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: says you were and I quote hot, so we'll start 64 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: their baseline. But he's feeling like you ghosted. So I 65 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: got asked, did you ghost? 66 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean I didn't really risk bond to him, 67 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 3: like when he texts it after and it wasn't like 68 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 3: anything dramatic happened. 69 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: Okay. 70 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 3: There was just two things that kind of stuck with 71 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 3: me that I haven't been able to kind of get past. 72 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: All right, I've got my notepad out, go ahead. 73 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 2: Well. 74 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 3: The first is Caleb has this habit that he told 75 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 3: me during dinner and he says that, like he mentioned, 76 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 3: he times people and how long it takes them to 77 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 3: answer questions, not out loud, he just kind of clocks 78 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 3: it mentally. And he said he started doing it in 79 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 3: meetings to understand how confident people are in their answers. 80 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 2: Ok. 81 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 3: And so I asked him if he does it outside 82 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 3: of work, and he said, yeah. 83 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: By outside. Are you doing it right now like that 84 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: kind of. 85 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, and he said sometimes, and he said you 86 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 3: can learn a lot about people from pauses. And that's 87 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 3: kind of when I realize he's been like watching me 88 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 3: super closely all night and like clocking every time I, 89 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 3: like I pause or answer something. 90 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: Okay, Caleb, that's weird. What are you doing? Why nobody 91 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: wants to be made to feel like they're being I 92 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: don't know, weirdly audited or something. 93 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: I mean I usually don't tell them. 94 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: Okay, but this time you did. You could see how 95 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: it could wear the lady out. Why do you do 96 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 1: this again? 97 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 2: Know that the longer someone takes to answer, I mean, 98 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: there's been studies on this, it shows that they're indecisive 99 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 2: or they're not sure of themselves. So when someone answers 100 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: very quick when with authority, they're just just generally like 101 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 2: more you know, more assertive, like an alpha. That's the 102 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 2: way alpha's answer questions. They're direct, they're fast, they really. 103 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: Can't they just be considered thoughtful. 104 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 2: I guess. But you know, what do you want to be? 105 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 2: You want to be thought you want to be an alpha. 106 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: You'd like your lady to be in alpha as well. 107 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: Is that what's happening? 108 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 2: Well? I like an assertive woman. I like a woman 109 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 2: that knows what she wants. And you know, I'll be 110 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 2: honest with you. That's what I saw. I liked what 111 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 2: I saw, so I don't know why I'm like naughtie. 112 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 2: I what I mean, you passed the test, So I 113 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 2: don't know. 114 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: Why you passed the test. 115 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. 116 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not gonna look you guys. I should 117 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,919 Speaker 1: probably shut up because I always talk about it on 118 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: the air, how I'm attracted to a woman. They could 119 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: take me in a fight, so I'm just gonna sit back. 120 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 3: I mean, I just felt like I was being measured 121 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 3: all night, and that bothered me, you know, off the bat. 122 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 3: But it was the second thing that like really changed 123 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 3: the look. 124 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: He forgot there was something else do tell. 125 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like towards the end of dinner, our conversation 126 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 3: started turning, you know, to hobbies, and Caleb mentioned that 127 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 3: he collects things, and so I was like, what do 128 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 3: you you know kind of things you colick? And he 129 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 3: said he keeps every single birthday card he's ever received, 130 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 3: but not in a sentimental box, in labeled binders, chronologically 131 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 3: organized and he said it helps him like track which 132 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 3: friendships stay CONSI same year after year. And I said, 133 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 3: do you ever like review them? And he's like, yeah, occasionally, 134 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 3: it's a good way to notice who falls off. Like 135 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,359 Speaker 3: it's just so weird to me. 136 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: So it's like a grading system or what are we doing, Caleb. 137 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 2: I can really get a great idea of how good 138 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: of a friend someone values me as you know, so 139 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 2: I don't want to value somebody as a friend that 140 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 2: doesn't value me the same way. Basically, I have three binders. 141 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 2: I have an expired friends binder, and then the middle 142 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 2: binders those are like pretty good friends, and then I 143 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 2: have my all stars, like these are the friends that 144 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 2: give me really good cards, and yeah, they just set 145 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 2: themselves apart. 146 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 1: And expired friends binder. 147 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 3: That's so unsettling. 148 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 1: Uh huh. 149 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 2: At the end of the day, I think you're really 150 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,039 Speaker 2: overreacting here. 151 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I mean honestly, like I feel like 152 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 3: yours because. 153 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: Has entered the chat. Uh you guys, hang on one second, 154 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: Hang on, Nadia, Yes, I'm so sorry. I don't nah, 155 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: that's not your guy. Yeah, thank you for your time. 156 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to go ahead and go. I appreciate you listening. 157 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: You're welcome and hang on. What is it? Just quirky habits? Week? 158 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: Is that? What's happening? And second date update? If you 159 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 1: want to catch up from the week. Uh. There is 160 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: a podcast on the iHeartRadio app. You can download that 161 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: for free and look for Marcus in the morning.