Speaker 1: Raina. That's on the phone.
Speaker 2: Rain is on the phone.
Speaker 1: Raina has a question. And when you have a question,
Speaker 1: you've got to ask whise people that will give you
Speaker 1: some good advice. But they weren't available. So here we are, Raina.
Speaker 1: Tell me your story and we'll see we can help
Speaker 1: you out a little bit.
Speaker 3: Hey. Yeah, so I am dating this person and his
Speaker 3: family is kind of a mess. Like he has three brothers,
Speaker 3: a dad, and his mom's not in a picture.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So one of his brothers has been to jail for
Speaker 3: drug possession. That's one. Another brother robbed a liquor store
Speaker 3: and then threw the gun into the ditch right outside
Speaker 3: of the liquor store.
Speaker 1: So prints are all over. So he thinks of a
Speaker 1: good place to throw the gun that he probably stole
Speaker 1: in the first place. Is oh, get rid of the evidence,
Speaker 1: throw it in the ditch. They found it fingerprint evidence,
Speaker 1: went to prison. How long was he in prison? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Eight years? Eight years? Yeah, don't rob a liquor store
Speaker 1: with Yeah.
Speaker 3: But the good news is the third brother is actually normal,
Speaker 3: hasn't gotten into any trouble.
Speaker 1: So there's three. There's three brothers and then your guy. Okay.
Speaker 3: Then also his dad almost went to prison for stealing
Speaker 3: like converters, like catalytic convertible.
Speaker 1: Oh, catalytic conversion. Yeah, okay, got it.
Speaker 3: So he's kind of awful too, like he raised two
Speaker 3: good sons and two bad sons.
Speaker 1: Okay, so so I mean fifty.
Speaker 3: So and again the mom's not in a picture, so.
Speaker 1: Okay, sure, but your guy's good, yes, yeah, he is good.
Speaker 3: He is good. And then I'm I'm good. I guess
Speaker 3: like I do well, I make good money, and I
Speaker 3: drive an OUTI and I'm.
Speaker 1: Humble, brug what year is your audi's like it is?
Speaker 3: It is newer. The thing, here's my concern, Like they're
Speaker 3: going his family, that's the bad one. They're gonna know
Speaker 3: that we do well financially. So I just feel like
Speaker 3: they're gonna come to us and ask for money, like, hey,
Speaker 3: I need eight hundred dollars or I'm getting kicked out
Speaker 3: of my apartment. Help me out. The thing is, my
Speaker 3: family is pretty regular, like no one and my family
Speaker 3: has ever been to jail. I just I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm kind of worried because I don't really want to
Speaker 3: deal with a family. It does stuff like.
Speaker 1: That valid concern though, I mean seriously, if especially if
Speaker 1: they all live nearby and you're doing well, there will
Speaker 1: be times. And I've had this in my family. My family,
Speaker 1: certain people will hit me up for money and I
Speaker 1: just don't. I just don't anymore, you know, I just
Speaker 1: really don't. But they'll, you know, but I think it
Speaker 1: will happen. They're going to hitch up for money, and
Speaker 1: then they become bitter. They'll be like, well, you've got
Speaker 1: a nice house, you've got to you got plenty of money.
Speaker 1: Could is that? I've Julie had that happen in her family.
Speaker 1: Half that family had money, the other half were kind
Speaker 1: of losers, and they would and if you didn't give
Speaker 1: them money, they would get very angry, really very angry,
Speaker 1: interesting like throw things as every like they're entitled, you mean,
Speaker 1: like money titled necessarily, but but like you've got an
Speaker 1: X ray eight hundred dollars you just got back from
Speaker 1: you know, the Bahamash. So I guess the question is
Speaker 1: is I would say approach with caution, But I would
Speaker 1: say if you're if your boyfriend is a good buffer
Speaker 1: with that family and knows how to handle him, then
Speaker 1: I don't think you have anything to worry about. But
Speaker 1: I'll bet there are people listening who it's like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm married into this family and thereafter is for money
Speaker 1: or rent money or a place to stay. Way too o.
Speaker 4: That's like it's always something that's always probably yeah, someone
Speaker 4: to text and say, is she dating my ex?
Speaker 1: Another text says break up with him. It's not worth
Speaker 1: the drama. But you care about this guy. And that's
Speaker 1: easier said than don because you're gonna lose a guy
Speaker 1: that you really really care about and you'll miss for
Speaker 1: a long time, not because of.
Speaker 4: Him, right, because of the back, because of the bad one.
Speaker 1: Genny, you come from a trashy state. Have you had
Speaker 1: a lot of this happen where you lived in Wisconsin?
Speaker 2: I can't say that I have, and luckily, I mean,
Speaker 2: I have some trashy relatives who are just awful that
Speaker 2: I would highly recommend straying away from if you do
Speaker 2: try to get involved in them. But like the rest
Speaker 2: of us in the family are great, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't think that that shines a light on who
Speaker 2: we are as people. We are separate from those relatives, right,
Speaker 2: you know, I.
Speaker 4: Feel like everyone's family, like in any family they have
Speaker 4: you know, the quote unquote bad ones in the family.
Speaker 4: And I see what Raina's concern is though, because her
Speaker 4: bad ones are really close to the one that she's with,
Speaker 4: because they're his brothers. So that makes sense like versus
Speaker 4: you know, a cousin, Like I got that cousin that's
Speaker 4: bended ja.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they're like very accessible. And I mean to guess,
Speaker 1: did they all live here locally?
Speaker 3: They're on nearby, They're on nearby, Okay, I mean, well,
Speaker 3: one other question, Like I'm just curious about people's thoughts
Speaker 3: on this, Like do we think this is a genetic thing.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think it's a parenting thing. I think it
Speaker 1: sounds more like a parenting thing. I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: genetic is you know, stupid as genetic. Yeah, I'm joking,
Speaker 1: but I think that bad dad was like on parole
Speaker 1: for stealing catalytic converters. That's probably just the tip of
Speaker 1: the iceberg that you might know about dad. I think
Speaker 1: it's just probably not the best parenting and parents, you know, really,
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, they have such an impact on
Speaker 1: how their kids behave. And ask a teacher, you know,
Speaker 1: teachers will be like, I get a bad kid that
Speaker 1: I met the parent and I understood why. I'm sure
Speaker 1: it happens all the time. Let us know, send me
Speaker 1: a text or call me and let rain and know
Speaker 1: whether you've been down that road before with a family
Speaker 1: that you know, it was like, okay, they're kind of
Speaker 1: I don't want to say mooches, but they're always there's
Speaker 1: always a problem and it's never their fault and they
Speaker 1: need something and they look at you, who you have
Speaker 1: an abundance of resources, and they'll be like, well, you
Speaker 1: should give me the eight hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: We do have a lot of text messages saying I'm
Speaker 4: currently in a one year relationship with somebody like that,
Speaker 4: and I just straight up told him from the jump,
Speaker 4: we're never helping people. Nobody's ever going to live here,
Speaker 4: and he totally agrees. So I guess it's just a
Speaker 4: matter of having a real honest conversation with your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: And this one also.
Speaker 4: Agrees a good kind of conversation to have with your partner.
Speaker 4: If we were ever to get married, we need to
Speaker 4: agree that we are not giving them money or letting
Speaker 4: them live when well, let me.
Speaker 1: Ask you, here's the ither think an important question, how
Speaker 1: does your boyfriend or partner feel is he like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, they're good guys, they just have some bad
Speaker 1: things happen to them. You know, I gave my brother
Speaker 1: twenty five hundred dollars and you know, what does your
Speaker 1: boyfriend feel about it? Does he like, no, no, don't
Speaker 1: want to help or is he like I got to
Speaker 1: help here and there.
Speaker 3: I mean he's he's more on the keeping his bounaries
Speaker 3: with him. Yeah, But I don't know if he said like,
Speaker 3: I'm definitely never going to help them, you know, I
Speaker 3: since we've only been dating since the summer, like it's
Speaker 3: it's serious, but it's you know, it's not like we're
Speaker 3: not married or anything. So but I think that sounds
Speaker 3: like a good idea to have those conversations really understand.
Speaker 1: Like under no circumstances and make the first answer no. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because once you loan one person money one time, it's
Speaker 1: like feeding a stray cat. They'll be back because they
Speaker 1: know you've got it. So I would say no from
Speaker 1: the jump, Like you said, here's a text message at
Speaker 1: KATWB one. It says I married somebody with a bad
Speaker 1: family that is similar eleven years later, we're getting a
Speaker 1: divorce and his family was a big reason always asking
Speaker 1: for money, always drama, and my husband was the only
Speaker 1: good one in the military college graduate. He eventually was
Speaker 1: sneaking money to them to not cause problems with us,
Speaker 1: and I found out about it. Not good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but then other people are saying, like, I understand
Speaker 4: her concern, but all she has to say is no
Speaker 4: to the money questions.
Speaker 1: Don't punish a good guy for the actions of his family.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's just hard that, like, if you do
Speaker 2: end up intertwining your lives financially, that then like is
Speaker 2: the brother is her boyfriend really going to say no
Speaker 2: to his family if they are in dire need?
Speaker 1: And that's the thing I mean seriously, of my XYZ
Speaker 1: relatives said I'm gonna lose my house, I'm gonna live
Speaker 1: in my car. Oh, then I'm gonna want to help.
Speaker 1: Good luck, I would say, the best answer we got
Speaker 1: is probably talked to him and just be firm from
Speaker 1: the beginning that the answer is always going to be now.
Speaker 1: But then good luck And the good news is you've
Speaker 1: got a good one and that and that's the hard
Speaker 1: It's hard to leave somebody who is good just because
Speaker 1: of other things that are out of their control.