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Speaker 1: Doctor Mesh.

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Speaker 2: Hello up, So I have a segment idea. That's what

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Speaker 2: I DM do you about? So I thought we could

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Speaker 2: call it.

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Speaker 3: Why am I like this?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 2: And people could call in and say things that they

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Speaker 2: either judge themselves about or judge other people about.

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Speaker 3: So it could be like, you know, why am I

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Speaker 3: like this?

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Speaker 2: Why do I not work out when I know it's

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Speaker 2: better for my health? Or why do I go to

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Speaker 2: the drive through instead of making a healthy meal? So

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Speaker 2: the things that maybe you're confused about yourself about or

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Speaker 2: judge someone else, And then I could give kind of

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Speaker 2: a general reason for the pattern behind the behavior so

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Speaker 2: that you could understand yourself.

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Speaker 1: Better that part of it, because you are a doctor.

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Speaker 2: For real, I am of psychology.

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Speaker 1: Oh I got one? Who else?

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Speaker 3: Gaz?

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Speaker 4: Did you guys all have one.

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Speaker 5: Gallant yet?

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Speaker 6: So help?

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Speaker 1: Come? Let me give you one.

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Speaker 7: Speaking of food stuff, like, so all day I can

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Speaker 7: eat super super healthy like you know, like well balanced protein,

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Speaker 7: and then sometime at night I will see something sweet

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Speaker 7: and I want to devour with my entire being. Why

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Speaker 7: is it that you create sud stuff at night?

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Speaker 3: That's a super common one.

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Speaker 2: So when you have super rigid rules throughout the day.

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Speaker 2: As a human, you're naturally going to want to do

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Speaker 2: the opposite of that. We only have that rigidity for

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Speaker 2: so long, so whether that's in a day or over

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Speaker 2: the course of months or years, eventually, because we are

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Speaker 2: human or not robots, like, we don't just deal with logic.

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Speaker 2: We're dealing with emotions, and so it's natural that you're

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Speaker 2: gonna want to swing the other way. So you want

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Speaker 2: to have a lot less rules and flexibility and autonomy

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Speaker 2: throughout the day. So one thing I'd recommend is even

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Speaker 2: having like planned little moments where.

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Speaker 3: You nurture yourself.

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Speaker 2: It could even be something like a cookie, but it

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Speaker 2: sit down, take a deep breath, get really excited, take

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Speaker 2: a bike, close your eyes, and have kind of those

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Speaker 2: planned moments, and then it won't feel like you went

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Speaker 2: the whole day trying to be so good, so perfect,

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Speaker 2: following all the rules.

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Speaker 1: That's good. I like that. I like that.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so why am I like this? I So I

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Speaker 5: had nothing really on the schedule, but then I proceeded

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Speaker 5: to invite my sisters over the Monday of Christmas and

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Speaker 5: then a girl's brunch the Tuesday of Christmas, and I

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Speaker 5: made the plans and now I'm stressed about them.

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Speaker 2: So it definitely sounds like you were looking for connection,

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Speaker 2: which is great, we all need connection. But then you

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Speaker 2: over extended yourself. So is this a pattern that you've

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Speaker 2: done other places or is this just with the holidays?

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Speaker 5: No, I think I tend to do that every once

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Speaker 5: in a while, like, for instance, for in it, I

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Speaker 5: sign up for snack day for the kids, all end

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Speaker 5: up overdoing it and personalized water bottle and snack bags

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Speaker 5: for them instead of just putting stuffs in a paper bag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you really value we know you value you,

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Speaker 2: you know, beauty and those kinds of things that's important

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Speaker 2: to you. But it sounds like you also value that

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Speaker 2: like being over the top and doing all the things,

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Speaker 2: And because you value that so much, you'll sort of

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Speaker 2: ignore suppress the parts of you that are like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I actually just don't want to do that. I'm

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Speaker 2: actually too exhausted to do that. So you kind of

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Speaker 2: have to acknowledge the feelings that are happening, like, yes,

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Speaker 2: I really want to do that, but what's my capacity?

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Speaker 3: And am I going to kind.

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Speaker 2: Of rob myself of peace and sanity if I agree

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Speaker 2: to all those things? Because there's nothing more important than

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Speaker 2: your peace?

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Speaker 1: Okay, doctor me real quick.

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Speaker 8: I'll just throw this one out at you and then

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Speaker 8: we'll take calls and you can help people.

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Speaker 1: But why am I like this?

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Speaker 8: When I'm on the treadmill working out, I like to

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Speaker 8: visualize Rich in the shower lathering himself, upsh and then

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Speaker 8: manscape in.

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Speaker 2: Manscape way too much to unpack. Yeah, we don't have

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Speaker 2: time for that, Okay, all right?

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Speaker 8: Eight seven seven ninety three seven one four seven? Why

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Speaker 8: am I like this? We will talk to you next,

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Speaker 8: judging Rich. Okay, why am.

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Speaker 1: I like this? We got doctor Mish on the line.

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Speaker 1: Good morning, doctor, Are you ready?

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Speaker 3: I am ready? Good morning.

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Speaker 8: So we just passed people through and they're gonna say

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Speaker 8: why am I like this? And you're gonna analyze it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, ok yeah, let's go.

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Speaker 8: Let's start off with Ashley. Ashley, good morning.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead.

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Speaker 4: So I have a problem with when somebody gets quiet.

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Speaker 4: I internalize everything, but I also like I overextend myself

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Speaker 4: trying to make everybody happy.

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Speaker 1: Why am I?

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Speaker 4: I feel like I don't care what people think.

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Speaker 8: You got to say why am I like this? Or

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Speaker 8: doesn't I say why am I? Dylan tell everyone to

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Speaker 8: say why am I like this, or it doesn't count.

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Speaker 1: Okay, it doesn't count.

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Speaker 3: Right, Why am I like this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: No worries.

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Speaker 2: The people pleasing tendency, uh is super super common, and

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Speaker 2: really that is because you really want to have the

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Speaker 2: energy in the room be good for everybody. But the

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Speaker 2: problem with that is that you're sacrificing your own So

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Speaker 2: it's like this initial little moment where it feels better

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Speaker 2: for you because they feel better, But then moments later

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Speaker 2: or hours later, when you're replaying it, you realize that

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Speaker 2: you kind of sacrificed your own feelings in that moment,

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Speaker 2: so we can't go around making everyone else feel comfortable

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Speaker 2: at the expense of ourselves. And in that moment it'll

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Speaker 2: feel like you're doing what's best for both of you,

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Speaker 2: but it's really hurting you in the end. So you're

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Speaker 2: doing it because you want to keep the energy and

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Speaker 2: the piece in the space and make everybody feel good. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it definitely makes sense. My boyfriend tells

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Speaker 4: me all the time, He's like, you have to stop,

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Speaker 4: like you're just doing too much and I over do it,

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Speaker 4: I guess, like trying to do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean you're a nurturer, right, you want

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Speaker 2: everything to feel good, but you got nurture yourself first, right, Well,

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Speaker 2: it definitely makes sense.

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Speaker 3: It makes sense.

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Speaker 1: That's why you're like that at Thanks for listen.

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Speaker 9: Let's say, Angela, Hello, Hi, Why am I like this?

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Speaker 3: So?

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Speaker 6: I cry really easily when somebody is giving me praise

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Speaker 6: or like telling me nice things about myself.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, So not if they're saying mean things, but nice things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really true.

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Speaker 1: I cry when other people get praise.

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Speaker 7: Out of jealous ze.

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Speaker 6: Yeah. So like when I'm getting like an annual review

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Speaker 6: at work, or you know, like at a Christmas party

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Speaker 6: and my boss is like, I appreciate you. Like, as

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Speaker 6: soon as I like hear somebody say like I appreciate you,

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Speaker 6: I like start to cry and I don't know why.

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Speaker 3: Then they're so stupid.

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Speaker 2: It's not stupid, right, You're human. Humans have feelings and emotions.

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Speaker 2: So first of all, just don't don't tell yourself that

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Speaker 2: because that's that's not true at all. But you have

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Speaker 2: all those emotions right there at the surface. That's not

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Speaker 2: a bad thing.

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Speaker 3: And when your.

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Speaker 2: Nervous system gets overwhelmed, whether that's because someone's saying something

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Speaker 2: positive or something negative, it has to release that has

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Speaker 2: to discharge that energy. So for you that comes through tears.

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Speaker 2: It could be a lot of other things. It could

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Speaker 2: be anger for some people, all kinds of ways we

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Speaker 2: discharge it. But basically, your nervous systems overwhelmed in that moment,

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Speaker 2: and so that's how it's just getting rid of the energy.

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Speaker 2: So you could stand up and jump up, down and

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Speaker 2: shake and get rid of the energy where you could

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Speaker 2: just let some tears out.

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Speaker 1: Tell me, could it also be hormones?

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Speaker 2: I mean, is this just a later thing in life

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Speaker 2: or has this been always doubt? I've always been like that.

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Speaker 3: I've always been like this.

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Speaker 1: Cal and I do commercials for Red Mountains. We'll talk

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Speaker 1: a lot about mountain.

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Speaker 7: They'll put some hormones in you.

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Speaker 2: Maybe not that, but you know, it could be. It's

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Speaker 2: just I don't think it's a negative thing. It's just

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Speaker 2: a matter of understanding that you're overwhelmed in that moment.

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Speaker 3: So you could do a like some deep breathing and

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Speaker 3: just kind of reset.

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Speaker 7: Let's try. Let's see if it worked. Angelie, you did

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Speaker 7: a really great job on the phone just now. Thank you,

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Speaker 7: thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Uh, how do you say your name? Sabra

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Speaker 1: it's Sabra, sab good morning.

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Speaker 10: Good morning. So my question is I got diagnosed with

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Speaker 10: autism last year. Obviously later in life. I'm thirty three

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Speaker 10: years old, but I have a huge problem with talking

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Speaker 10: over people, whether this is at home, at work, or

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Speaker 10: to my kids, literally everywhere. I'm trying to figure out,

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Speaker 10: like why I do this? Why am I like this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's that sounds like you're just really excited

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Speaker 2: and so you can't wait and have the patience to

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Speaker 2: wait for someone to finish. So what you're gonna have

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Speaker 2: to realize first is have awareness of when you want

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Speaker 2: to talk and are you aware of it and just

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Speaker 2: can't stop it or are you not even noticing any.

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Speaker 10: Like this is no, I notice I do it, and

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Speaker 10: it's something that I've been like trying to work on,

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Speaker 10: but it's like and I instantly do it, and so

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Speaker 10: it's like, but I do, I do notice it, and

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Speaker 10: it drives me insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say that I would just work on

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Speaker 2: your sort of urgency and speed in life everywhere else,

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Speaker 2: not necessarily in that moment, because obviously if you could

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Speaker 2: slow it down right then and there, you would be.

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Speaker 2: But maybe there's times other times of the day where

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Speaker 2: you can put in those pauses, So have that an

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Speaker 2: alarm on your phone and just pause and take a

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Speaker 2: deep breath.

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Speaker 3: Or when you are in the.

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Speaker 2: Middle of something that's not quite as engaging as a conversation,

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Speaker 2: can you pause and breathe and challenge yourself in other

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Speaker 2: places before you put it right there in the most

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Speaker 2: challenging place, which is during conversation.

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Speaker 8: Okay, I'd say, brout what happened? You're thirty three years old,

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Speaker 8: what made you go to wherever you went to get diagnosed?

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Speaker 1: And what we're like?

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Speaker 8: What made them say you have autism?

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Speaker 10: Well, both of my kids have autism, and learning about autism,

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Speaker 10: I found out most of it not all the time,

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Speaker 10: but a lot of times. It is hereditary and I

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Speaker 10: have a lot of the same symptoms kids do. So

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Speaker 10: that is why I actually went and got tested.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 10: So like my food cannot touch at all, Like I

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Speaker 10: literally have to use like a kid's plate. If they touch,

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Speaker 10: I won't eat it. I have really like I have

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Speaker 10: sensory issues with different like for instance, if it's not

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Speaker 10: like a microfiber, I cannot touch. Different types of clothing

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Speaker 10: I won't wear. My kids are the same way, I

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Speaker 10: have extreme like sensory overload, so like if lights are

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Speaker 10: too bright, sounds are too loud, stuff like that. So

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Speaker 10: it's like we don't have identical symptoms, but like one

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Speaker 10: of my sons is a level two. I'm also level

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Speaker 10: two and my younger son is level one, So there's

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Speaker 10: like a broad spectrum when it comes to autism.

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Speaker 1: For sharing that with us, have a wonderful day.

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Speaker 10: Absolutely for having me on you got it?

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Speaker 1: Uh doctor me, She's pretty good. You're pretty good, doctor

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Speaker 1: mesh Chase.

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Speaker 2: That happy to help out. And then if anybody wants

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Speaker 2: to kind of understand themselves better, have a free assessment

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Speaker 2: they can take and they'll just tell them kind of

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Speaker 2: what needs are being unmet so they can understand where

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Speaker 2: they could, you know, help themselves a little bit better.

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Speaker 1: How do we find that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you could just head to any of my socials.

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Speaker 2: I'm cornhole niche. So that's come on here about.

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Speaker 8: You know what, I was just talking to somebody yesterday.

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Speaker 8: I knew that was you. I was you put the

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Speaker 8: cornhole tournaments on ESPN.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yes, you have silent reporting and commentating.

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Speaker 1: Yes, get this, get this.

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Speaker 8: I am interviewing the president of Phoenix Raceway. Natasha, she's amazing.

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Speaker 8: She's I'm interviewing her on the highly successful John J.

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Speaker 8: Vannis podcast and we're talking about COVID and she's talking

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Speaker 8: about her she's a sports family. Her parents, her care

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Speaker 8: husband or kids are all about sports. And during COVID,

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Speaker 8: this is this happened yesterday during COVID, She's like, we

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Speaker 8: were thirsty for sports. She goes, we started getting in

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Speaker 8: a corn hoole watching cornhole on TV. I go, I

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Speaker 8: know the lady that put that on. She would call

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Speaker 8: it all the time. ESPN Cornal tournament. That's you, right, doctor.

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Speaker 3: Mesh, that's me. That's me. In fact, I'll be in

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Speaker 3: Mesa this summer. I can come see you guys. We're

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Speaker 3: doing a tournament there right on.

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Speaker 1: So you could like do this live in the studio and.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: You need a whole hour to break down what's wrong

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Speaker 1: with John Jay? And we were ques.

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Speaker 3: More than an hour, Yeah, no more than an hour.

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Speaker 1: So I interrupted you what was your website or what's

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Speaker 1: your socials? Cornhole?

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Speaker 3: Yes, cornhole? Cornhole?

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Speaker 4: Me so cornhole?

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Speaker 3: And then m E E.

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Speaker 2: S H and that you can hop on your Instagram

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Speaker 2: or TikTok or whatever. And then if you look got

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Speaker 2: to the bio, there's a link there and it's just

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Speaker 2: a free assessment and that should help you kind of

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Speaker 2: understand what's going on.

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Speaker 1: Corn.

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Speaker 8: You know what, I actually self diagnosed myself with something.

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Speaker 8: I camebo with a new term last night and I

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Speaker 8: literally think I made this up. Let me tell you why. So,

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Speaker 8: my wife's sister had open heart surgery yesterday and Blake

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Speaker 8: was in the hospital and after the surgery was done,

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Speaker 8: it was eight hours successful.

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Speaker 1: She's doing great, and my wife wanted to see her.

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Speaker 8: So she walks in and sees her sister with tubes

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Speaker 8: in her just walks out of the room and tells everybody,

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Speaker 8: you guys should wait, don't go in there until the

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Speaker 8: tubes are out.

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Speaker 1: Whatever.

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Speaker 8: She gets in the car and she calls me and

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Speaker 8: she just breaks out crying, like the worst cry ever, right,

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Speaker 8: And as a husband, you hate that with him. She's

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Speaker 8: crying and she's in a parking structure. She can't handle it,

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Speaker 8: she can't. And I'm like, I'm like, she's alive, like

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Speaker 8: she's doing great, Like you know, in my head, I'm like,

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Speaker 8: suck it up, right.

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Speaker 1: So no, no, I'm telling you what is going on head.

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Speaker 8: So I'm like, I'm like, so then she I sit

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Speaker 8: there and I think, God, I wonder, like, how do

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Speaker 8: I not ever feel that way?

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Speaker 1: Right? Like?

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Speaker 8: My wife is such an impath. Like if she listens

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Speaker 8: to it, she'll go She'll do Christmas wish for us,

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Speaker 8: hear it, cry, listen to it on the radio the

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Speaker 8: next day and cry and cry and cry and cry cry. Right,

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Speaker 8: She'll watch a TV show and cry like all the time.

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Speaker 8: So she's an EmPATH. She feels with people. So I'm like,

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Speaker 8: I don't feel like that. And I remember one time

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Speaker 8: I was dating a girl when my first girlfriend and

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Speaker 8: we broke up, and you know, she cried. I remember

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Speaker 8: my friend Dave cried when he broke up his girlfriend,

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Speaker 8: and I remember I tried to cry and I wouldn't cry.

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Speaker 8: And then I remember telling him he was what happened

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Speaker 8: to you, Stephanie? We broke up, I cried, but I

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Speaker 8: didn't really cry. Come I needn't cry. Right, So here's

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Speaker 8: the term. I came up with myself dead inside empathological liar. Okay,

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Speaker 8: I am impathological liar. I thought it was last night.

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Speaker 1: We needed two hours. Take that two hours.

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Speaker 2: I mean it could catch on, it could catch on.

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Speaker 3: We don't know.

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Speaker 8: Take that term I'm someone tells that to you, like I,

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Speaker 8: I fake my sadness, empathological.

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Speaker 11: We're going to have people like in situations who are

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Speaker 11: like and there's a lot of people that just don't

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Speaker 11: cry very much. That's fine, You're gonna be like, ignore me,

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Speaker 11: I'm gonna pathological.

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Speaker 7: I feel like the most of the show over the

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Speaker 7: last twenty years has been Kyle and I trying to

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Speaker 7: share John Jay what it's like to be human.

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Speaker 3: Dor Tandler Tandler from Friends.

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Speaker 2: Remember Chandler couldn't cry the whole episode on that It's okay,

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Speaker 2: You're not alone.

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Speaker 1: So he was an empathological liar.

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Speaker 3: Yes, by the way, just doesn't cry.

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Speaker 8: We just got a text that says, you sound like

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Speaker 8: your AI. You're not real.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy because my entire like framework is being humans.

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Speaker 3: So that's that's that's crazy.

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Speaker 7: Tom more human.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna shave my Instagram handle to pathological.

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Speaker 9: Liars, gonna be lovely. Everyone's yeah, but it's good, right,

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Speaker 9: that's a good term. Everything a mouthful, All right, thank you,

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Speaker 9: doctor Mishell. Well let's talk to you in twenty twenty six,

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Speaker 9: or when you're here in March, you come in the studio.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it'll only be summer. I think it's July,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, I'll let you guys know.

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Speaker 1: We'll be here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We just in a five year deal. We're here for

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Speaker 1: a while. Okay, good to know, right doctor. We shall

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Speaker 1: have a great day, Happy holidays you too.

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Speaker 3: Bye.