WEBVTT - Anna is Starting Therapy   

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<v Speaker 1>It's the Mojo in the morning show. So Anna, I

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<v Speaker 1>drove you into therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Mojo, it's all your fault.

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<v Speaker 3>I since starting this job, Mojo has been more than

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<v Speaker 3>just a boss or somebody that I work with. I

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<v Speaker 3>actually confide in Mojo and all of you in a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of personal things. And what I've realized through these

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<v Speaker 3>conversations is that my entire life, how I deal with

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<v Speaker 3>things that bother me is I just avoid them. If

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<v Speaker 3>somebody bothers me, if a situation bothers me, I just

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<v Speaker 3>avoid it. I don't want to talk about it. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't want to see those people that are hurting me.

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<v Speaker 3>I just sort of write them off. But Mojo has

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<v Speaker 3>been pushing me to not do that and to sort

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<v Speaker 3>of like confront these things, get over these things, because

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<v Speaker 3>life is short, whether that's a person or whatever it is.

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<v Speaker 2>So I decided to start therapy.

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<v Speaker 3>I had sort of like a rough Thanksgiving and I

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<v Speaker 3>left feeling a little bit sad. So I made an

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<v Speaker 3>appointment with my therapist, well new therapist. I had one

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<v Speaker 3>appointment so far. I was supposed to have one yesterday,

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<v Speaker 3>but I canceled it because I was too tired. And

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<v Speaker 3>interestingly enough my therapist had a little bit of a

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<v Speaker 3>different take than Mojo.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's you know what.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think that's the reason why you go talk

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<v Speaker 1>to somebody who is because it gives you an opportunity to,

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<v Speaker 1>uh get a different perspective. And I will say this

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<v Speaker 1>to you. You don't always use a perspective of what

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<v Speaker 1>the therapist gives you, but you use the perspectives of

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<v Speaker 1>those around you.

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<v Speaker 3>So I don't want to get too into, like the

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<v Speaker 3>details of what my issues are, but essentially, there's some

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<v Speaker 3>people in my life that I struggle to be around,

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<v Speaker 3>and Mojo is pushing me to be around them more. However,

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<v Speaker 3>when I talk to my therapist, this is what they

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<v Speaker 3>This is how they phrased it to me, as like, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>it would be great to have them in your life,

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<v Speaker 3>but let's say this was like, it's not an abusive situation,

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<v Speaker 3>but let's say this was an abusive situation where these

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<v Speaker 3>people were physically abusing you every time you saw them

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<v Speaker 3>and you left hurt. Would you keep going back to

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<v Speaker 3>them every time? And I'm sorry, I'm getting emotional, like, no,

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<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't keep putting myself back in those situations, even

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<v Speaker 3>if it's not physical abuse, like mentally, it's really hurting me.

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<v Speaker 3>So she's saying, like, maybe you do just need to

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<v Speaker 3>totally remove yourself from those situations until you're better.

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<v Speaker 4>Mm hmmm.

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<v Speaker 2>Particularly so, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm in therapy now and that's sort of what I'm

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<v Speaker 3>dealing with. But it was interesting because again, like with Mota,

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<v Speaker 3>he's like, these people that are hurting you, they're not

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<v Speaker 3>going to be around forever.

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<v Speaker 1>Like no, no, no, let me explain myself because I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted you to know my thing was my thing was

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<v Speaker 1>exactly what you're doing. And I said you should go

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<v Speaker 1>and talk to a therapist about it, because when they

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<v Speaker 1>aren't around, you don't want it to back and be

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<v Speaker 1>one of those things where you wish that.

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<v Speaker 4>You would have.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't believe that you need to have people in

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<v Speaker 1>your life that are emotionally or more importantly physically, but

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<v Speaker 1>emotional is just as physical.

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<v Speaker 4>It's hurtful as it's abused that be around.

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<v Speaker 1>But I do think that you need to talk to

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<v Speaker 1>somebody about where where they are in your life and

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<v Speaker 1>where you are.

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<v Speaker 5>I think that's the biggest part, regardless of the healing

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<v Speaker 5>that may or may not take place between you and

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<v Speaker 5>whoever these people are. It's the individual healing that needs

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<v Speaker 5>to take place inside of you. For you, we're not

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<v Speaker 5>trying to mend any relationship but the one you have

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<v Speaker 5>with the inner Anna and not pushing things like jay Z.

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<v Speaker 5>One of my favorite jay Z albums four four four,

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<v Speaker 5>the first song is called kill jay Z because he

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<v Speaker 5>had to kill this persona of who he was. And

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<v Speaker 5>one of the things that he said was you can't

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<v Speaker 5>heal what you are willing to reveal. And sometimes like

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<v Speaker 5>the clean room, if you're going everything you know, I'm saying,

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<v Speaker 5>if I'm throwing all my trash in the closet, the

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<v Speaker 5>room's not really clean.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm just hiding and what.

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<v Speaker 6>Progress I can see for one session because I feel

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<v Speaker 6>like you and we don't know you that well yet,

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<v Speaker 6>but you do tend to keep things close to yourself.

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<v Speaker 6>So even like you talking about this and getting emotional

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<v Speaker 6>and that's like it's getting it out and putting it

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<v Speaker 6>on the table and then figuring out what to do

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<v Speaker 6>with it is how I always think about it in

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<v Speaker 6>my brain with therapy.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I think I'm like really just trying to

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<v Speaker 3>get a place like I don't even think that I've

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<v Speaker 3>expressed how I've I've been feeling to these people that

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<v Speaker 3>are hurting me. So right now my therapist is like,

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<v Speaker 3>we just need to get you comfortable so you can

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<v Speaker 3>tell them like, this is how you're making me feel,

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<v Speaker 3>this is how you're hurting me, and I'll have to

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<v Speaker 3>step back if it continues. But like, I'm not even

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<v Speaker 3>comfortable doing that.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you that that makes me feel really good?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I didn't do that.

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<v Speaker 4>And my.

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<v Speaker 1>Level of giving you any advice that I've given you

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<v Speaker 1>and I have not said you need to do this.

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<v Speaker 1>My thing was you may want to do this, and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think by the way that you are going

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<v Speaker 1>to do your NET therapy is not going to help

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<v Speaker 1>you get over anything. I just want you to know

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<v Speaker 1>that it's going to help you cope with things. I

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<v Speaker 1>will say this to you. My thing was with my dad.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a lot of things in my life that

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<v Speaker 1>I used to let my dad get away with that

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<v Speaker 1>I never said to him while he was on this earth,

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<v Speaker 1>And what ended up affecting me was when he died,

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<v Speaker 1>it put more of a burden than the things that

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<v Speaker 1>he had done to me or I thought he had

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<v Speaker 1>done to me on me when he died because I

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<v Speaker 1>got angry towards him when he died. Instead of feeling

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<v Speaker 1>sad for the fact that I lost my father, I

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<v Speaker 1>was angry about it. And so I think what happened

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<v Speaker 1>with my therapy that I went through was I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to therapy because I didn't want anything that my

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<v Speaker 1>dad did to me to be passed on to my boys,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I was trying to stop the generational hurt

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<v Speaker 1>that was going on.

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<v Speaker 4>What I found was I was putting.

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<v Speaker 1>An unrealistic burden on things that happened in my life

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<v Speaker 1>on one person, my dad, And it was not necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>my dad's fault. That things happened in my life was

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<v Speaker 1>life's fault. And what I was doing was looking at

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<v Speaker 1>the way that he, as a person was dealing with

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<v Speaker 1>his pain too. And I think what I hope for

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<v Speaker 1>you with your therapist. First off, you got to make

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<v Speaker 1>sure you tell your therapist the truth. Because I went

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<v Speaker 1>through about six months of BS and my therapist and

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<v Speaker 1>making things very much making me look better and making

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<v Speaker 1>them look worse. And my therapist, Dennis, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>shout out to you. Dennis started realizing I wasn't telling

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<v Speaker 1>him the truth, and he said, all right, we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to have a talk here right now. I don't necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>think that you're giving me one hundred percent of what's

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<v Speaker 1>going on. And can I tell you something. It changed

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<v Speaker 1>me because you know what it did. It healed my

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<v Speaker 1>relationship with my dad.

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<v Speaker 2>But it was after your dad.

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<v Speaker 4>Way after my dad died.

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<v Speaker 1>So I and I wish I met Dennis and went

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<v Speaker 1>to therapy and somebody had told me about I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to therapy already, but I wasn't talking about my dad.

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<v Speaker 1>But I wish I would have been able to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to my dad about Hey, Dad, tell me what you're

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<v Speaker 1>going through, you know, tell me about your pain, because

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<v Speaker 1>you don't realize that they're going through it too.

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<v Speaker 5>Everybody got a story. I say two things. I think

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<v Speaker 5>one thing I forgot the second thing, but I think

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<v Speaker 5>sometimes I had. But I think, like I don't want

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<v Speaker 5>to use the word accountability, but sometimes people don't know

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<v Speaker 5>how they're affecting us, and if we just let things go,

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<v Speaker 5>then they won't ever realize that they are actually hurting us.

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<v Speaker 5>And I would say that obviously there will be stages,

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<v Speaker 5>and there's a process, like Shannon mention, even you getting

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<v Speaker 5>here is a step in that, right direction. But I

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<v Speaker 5>think before you totally cut ties, like you have to

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<v Speaker 5>find it in yourself to let them.

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<v Speaker 4>Know how it is effect and let them know why

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<v Speaker 4>you're settings.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm working on, Kelly.

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<v Speaker 4>What's going on is mojo in the morning.

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<v Speaker 7>I know, I just wanted the first compliment and applaud

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<v Speaker 7>Anna for going to therapy, because I don't think people

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<v Speaker 7>understand it's very difficult to confront things that are hard

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<v Speaker 7>to talk about, especially when it comes to family, and

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<v Speaker 7>therapy forces you to kind of have to be very,

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<v Speaker 7>very vulnerable about things that you've maybe been keeping close

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<v Speaker 7>to your heart like you have, Anna. And then number

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<v Speaker 7>two was just talking about confronting people.

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<v Speaker 8>Or confronting situations instead of hiding them. But what your

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<v Speaker 8>therapist said.

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<v Speaker 7>Was so profound because your peace is yours to protect

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<v Speaker 7>and a lot of people don't realize.

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<v Speaker 8>That, Like, it's your life and it's your peace. So

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<v Speaker 8>if that means, hey.

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<v Speaker 7>Like this person is affecting me and my life.

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<v Speaker 8>And sometimes confronting them is not the answer because.

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<v Speaker 7>It almost makes it worse because they don't they don't

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<v Speaker 7>have that accountability, like what Kevin just said, So your

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<v Speaker 7>peace is, hey, like this person is really difficult to

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<v Speaker 7>be around or make me really upset when I'm around them,

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<v Speaker 7>and that's affecting my peace.

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<v Speaker 8>The best choice for me is to just remove myself

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<v Speaker 8>or not be present around this person, or I just

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<v Speaker 8>kind of pick.

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<v Speaker 4>And choose where I want.

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<v Speaker 8>Them in my life because it's you. It's your life

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<v Speaker 8>to protect, and it's your peace to protect.

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<v Speaker 7>So I just applaud you for taking those steps to

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<v Speaker 7>be able to go talk to somebody about all the things.

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<v Speaker 7>Life brings a lot of.

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<v Speaker 8>Things, So applause to you.

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<v Speaker 4>You know what.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that we talk on the show about therapy

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<v Speaker 1>a lot because I think that there are some listeners

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<v Speaker 1>that are told that when you go to therapy you're nuts,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, or or your.

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<v Speaker 6>Week's not That's an old stigma that I'm so happy

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<v Speaker 6>is has gone by by, and I.

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<v Speaker 1>Think there's other people that are like I can't afford therapy.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that there's ways that you can actually get

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<v Speaker 1>to therapy. I know that there's a lot of things

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<v Speaker 1>you cannot afford, but I think that there are ways

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<v Speaker 1>that you can get it, and it's just a matter

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<v Speaker 1>of you taking me the extra steps and effort to

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<v Speaker 1>go find the ability to be able to to get

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<v Speaker 1>somebody that can can give you therapy.

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<v Speaker 5>And if you have a job, sometimes go to your

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<v Speaker 5>HR because it's like a part of your if it's right,

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<v Speaker 5>like for for the freezy content.

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<v Speaker 4>What's going on? Frank, Hey, good morning guys.

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<v Speaker 9>Anna.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm so happy

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<v Speaker 3>you're seeing a therapist and Mojo.

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<v Speaker 4>I just want to tell you something.

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<v Speaker 3>About your dad.

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<v Speaker 4>It's pretty cool. But people know to forget that it

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<v Speaker 4>was it's their first time as well whatever they were

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<v Speaker 4>going through. So and I learned that through therapy.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, every child thinks that parents, parents know everything, but

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<v Speaker 3>it's their first time as well dealing with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Listen, I never I never took into accounts the pain

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<v Speaker 1>that my dad had gone through, you know. But I

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<v Speaker 1>also I'm not going to let that be the reason why,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm going to be okay with him doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Same with your parents, your parents or family or whoever

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<v Speaker 1>it is that you're talking about. They you have to

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<v Speaker 1>understand everybody comes from a sense of being hurt, but

0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:55.440
<v Speaker 1>you should not have They should not pass that hurt

0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:58.920
<v Speaker 1>onto you. They need to go see seek help to

0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.400
<v Speaker 1>to help them that Aaron, what's going on?

0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:03.959
<v Speaker 9>Hey Monjoe, how are you?

0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.559
<v Speaker 1>I'm okay, and we're happy for Anna asking how she's doing.

0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:10.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, good job.

0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:10.680
<v Speaker 7>Anna.

0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.959
<v Speaker 9>I'm so happy for stuffing into therapy. And I think

0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:17.080
<v Speaker 9>it's a great place where you can have a safe

0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.920
<v Speaker 9>space to own your story. And I just identify with

0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:24.400
<v Speaker 9>the other color saying protect your peace and emotional abuse

0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.960
<v Speaker 9>is sometimes way more damming than physical abuse. So just

0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:33.040
<v Speaker 9>really take this time to own your story and learn

0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.719
<v Speaker 9>how to set some good boundaries with family. You can

0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:36.120
<v Speaker 9>do it.

0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:37.800
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for the encouragement.

0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:40.520
<v Speaker 4>Hey, Samantha, what's up. It's Mojo in the morning.

0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:42.680
<v Speaker 8>Hello.

0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:43.520
<v Speaker 4>Hello.

0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.080
<v Speaker 10>I'm very proud of Anna for going to therapy. I

0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.360
<v Speaker 10>don't have insurance, so I was not able to go

0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:51.960
<v Speaker 10>to therapy. But I understand where she's coming from. I

0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:55.680
<v Speaker 10>grew up with a mother who never gave compliments. It

0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:57.640
<v Speaker 10>was always oh, you should have done it this way,

0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:58.960
<v Speaker 10>or if you would have done this, it would have

0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.440
<v Speaker 10>been better. I was never told that she was proud

0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:02.880
<v Speaker 10>of me. I was never told that I did a

0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:05.400
<v Speaker 10>good job. And my dad wasn't around because he was

0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:09.520
<v Speaker 10>either cheating on my mom or busy drinking it was hard.

0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 10>I was very angry for a long time, but I

0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 10>worked through my issues because I realized that my parents,

0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:19.320
<v Speaker 10>I don't feel like we're necessarily doing it on purpose

0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.840
<v Speaker 10>to hurt me. I feel like they were raised a

0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:25.800
<v Speaker 10>certain way by their parents, and then they chose to

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:29.240
<v Speaker 10>raise me that same way, not realizing, like you said,

0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 10>how they had been treated and what was done to

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.560
<v Speaker 10>them emotionally, and then they were reflecting it back on me.

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.920
<v Speaker 10>So I had to make the decision to cut both

0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:38.959
<v Speaker 10>of my parents off so that way I didn't allow

0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:41.880
<v Speaker 10>them to mess with my children the way that they messed.

0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:42.280
<v Speaker 4>With my brain.

0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:45.800
<v Speaker 1>Hey, Samantha, I know you say you don't have the

0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:51.160
<v Speaker 1>job to get therapy. Google that circum circumstance and there

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:54.040
<v Speaker 1>will be resources for you that will come up of

0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:55.200
<v Speaker 1>how you can get therapy.

0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right.

0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.600
<v Speaker 1>I learned this from my son, who is a therapist,

0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 1>who is a doctor of psychology now, and I'm very

0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:04.839
<v Speaker 1>proud of him. But because I said to him, I go,

0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:06.680
<v Speaker 1>not every I actually use that as one thing, Well,

0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.880
<v Speaker 1>not everybody can you know, can afford therapy? And he's like,

0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:13.440
<v Speaker 1>there are there are no resources. The problem is and

0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:15.600
<v Speaker 1>this is the thing is a lot of times we

0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 1>don't google or go the extra step, even though it

0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:20.760
<v Speaker 1>would really help us out, because sometimes we don't want

0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 1>to know like and we want to use that as

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:25.280
<v Speaker 1>the excuse. I want to talk more about Anna here.

0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:29.319
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you something about this, this unbelievable woman

0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:32.200
<v Speaker 1>that's in front of us right now. You took this job,

0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:34.760
<v Speaker 1>and you took it thinking to yourself. And I know

0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.120
<v Speaker 1>this firsthand. You took it thinking to yourself, Oh, that

0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.120
<v Speaker 1>it's gonna be a great way to propel my career.

0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.240
<v Speaker 1>I think this this job, in meeting the people that

0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 1>you're around, including these listeners that are calling, I think

0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:48.120
<v Speaker 1>this job is going to propel you as a person.

0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:50.960
<v Speaker 2>I think so too, boy and I and.

0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 4>I honestly, can I tell you this.

0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 1>I thought that when I first saw you and knew

0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.280
<v Speaker 1>about you, I knew that there were a lot of

0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.760
<v Speaker 1>people that could have come in here and been part

0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:04.160
<v Speaker 1>of this show that probably were at even a level

0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.680
<v Speaker 1>a little higher than you. I thought that this job

0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:08.440
<v Speaker 1>was going to be a huge benefit to our show.

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:09.960
<v Speaker 1>I thought it was gonna be a huge benefit to you.

0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 1>And I think a lot of times we don't look

0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 1>at it that way. When we're going for jobs or

0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:18.400
<v Speaker 1>looking for people. And I think that's huge. And I

0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.320
<v Speaker 1>realized this the other night at jingle Ball. I was

0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.560
<v Speaker 1>the happiest I've ever been at a jingle ball the

0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.520
<v Speaker 1>other night. It was the happiest. My outfit fit me.

0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:33.600
<v Speaker 1>But also I liked being around the people that I

0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.560
<v Speaker 1>was around. Every person that was with there was having

0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:40.120
<v Speaker 1>the time of their lives. We were sitting in we

0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:42.360
<v Speaker 1>were in that one room, the interview room with EJ

0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:44.880
<v Speaker 1>up there on there, and we were amongst a group

0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.560
<v Speaker 1>of a bunch of people, and every single person that

0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 1>was in that room had a smile or some kind

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.880
<v Speaker 1>of a thing on them. You know that that made

0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 1>him feel And it was because the group that were

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.120
<v Speaker 1>around and you, you are a huge reason for that.

0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:01.160
<v Speaker 1>So I appreciate you and I love you. And do

0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:02.720
<v Speaker 1>not cancel your next therapy.

0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:10.280
<v Speaker 4>Plinner Friday Friday, Friday, Friday Friday. Don't miss it.