WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Ruminate 

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<v Speaker 1>Date update. Why are you not getting a call back

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<v Speaker 1>after you went on a date? We're going to try

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<v Speaker 1>to find out this morning here on the show. Jason

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<v Speaker 1>not getting a call back? He's getting ghosted. Is this

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<v Speaker 1>the first time that this has ever happened to you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes? Hey, how's it going? I mean I wouldn't say

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<v Speaker 2>it's the first time I've ever been ghosted, but it's.

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<v Speaker 1>You have been on dates before with girls and then

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<v Speaker 1>they've not called you back or wanted another date.

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<v Speaker 2>That's probably happened to happen to everyone this. By the way,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, Oh, thank you man. I appreciate that. Jason,

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<v Speaker 1>So what do you think is the reason why? Like,

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<v Speaker 1>do you think that there's anything that you might have

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<v Speaker 1>done that could have caused problems?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I really can't think of anything. We

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<v Speaker 2>met at a nightclub and we were vibing, we were

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<v Speaker 2>getting along, definitely had like really good chemistry, and took

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<v Speaker 2>her up to dinner, walked around a little bit and

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<v Speaker 2>haven't seen her since and can't really seem to get

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<v Speaker 2>her to respond.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, she responded to us, and it was through

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<v Speaker 1>text and then through Bianca reaching out to her a

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<v Speaker 1>few times. She was okay with going on the air

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<v Speaker 1>with us. Her name is Lauren, and Jason say hello

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<v Speaker 1>to Lauren. Hey, Hey, what's up Lauren? How are you?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm doing pretty good. I guess how are you?

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<v Speaker 1>Guys? We're doing okay. So what's the what's the story?

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<v Speaker 1>Why why the and the no call?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, so we met and we had a really good

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<v Speaker 3>time and everything was going good, and we went up

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<v Speaker 3>to dinner, and we went to the DA and we're

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<v Speaker 3>walking around and stuff like that. And but then when

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<v Speaker 3>we're walking around and there, he's like telling me that

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<v Speaker 3>this is where he used to go with his ex

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<v Speaker 3>fiance and that they used to go to the d

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<v Speaker 3>i A together all the time, and you know, was

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<v Speaker 3>kind of continuously referencing her, and I'm like, kind of

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<v Speaker 3>first off, like why are you bringing up your ex?

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<v Speaker 3>That was really weird for me. I also personally, I

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<v Speaker 3>just I don't like that he has been engaged before.

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<v Speaker 4>That just really threw me off.

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<v Speaker 5>So I don't know how well you.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you engaged, Jason.

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<v Speaker 2>We split up last year, so.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been a year that And have you been dating

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<v Speaker 1>a lot since your engage engagement was called off.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I try to. I try to get out

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<v Speaker 2>there sometimes work and keep me, you know, busy, But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I'm definitely not you know, it's hard to

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<v Speaker 2>let it go, I guess sometimes, but I don't, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>try not to ruminate on it. I think that's really

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<v Speaker 2>weird though, that you wouldn't that you think it's like

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<v Speaker 2>it's kind of judgmental just because I had a fiance.

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<v Speaker 3>Would you say you try to not ruminate on it,

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<v Speaker 3>but like you brought her up several times and can

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<v Speaker 3>kind of continuously talked about it, but then you didn't

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<v Speaker 3>necessarily like I didn't want to ask questions and get

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<v Speaker 3>all into it, so I didn't ask any particular questions

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<v Speaker 3>about the relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>But like, are you are you a regular go to

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<v Speaker 1>the d I A kind of guy? Like do you

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<v Speaker 1>ever go to the dad for those who don't know

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<v Speaker 1>that Detroit but fantastic place. Are you a guy that like,

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<v Speaker 1>because here's the thing. You may be a guy that

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<v Speaker 1>likes to go to the d I A and that's

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<v Speaker 1>your thing, but to bring up that this was a

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<v Speaker 1>place that you and your fiance would go to and

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<v Speaker 1>then to bring her up a couple of times.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe that was the best place for a date right now,

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<v Speaker 4>it sounds like that there.

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<v Speaker 3>But then.

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<v Speaker 4>For him, if if it's like a flood of memories

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<v Speaker 4>of that past relationship, that probably wasn't a good place

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<v Speaker 4>to start.

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<v Speaker 1>Or it's a great place, just don't bring it up, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>even if it brings back memories, don't like bring up

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<v Speaker 1>some people.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, Like, I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>I figured it would be something that we talked about eventually,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, you could have just she cheated on

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<v Speaker 2>me and so I ended it and it's kind of painful.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think that.

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<v Speaker 5>Just because.

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<v Speaker 6>You bring it up, why did you bring.

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<v Speaker 3>It up if it was painful, because, if anything, it

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<v Speaker 3>just gave me the ick.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even know how to respond to that. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>it seems like something that would come up eventually.

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<v Speaker 1>So listen, listen when I ruminate. Yeah, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>what is ruminated? I've never heard that before. That's amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's at a great use of the vocabulary that you

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<v Speaker 1>have there, j this is a guy that goes to DA.

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<v Speaker 1>You can tell I don't go to the DA real quick.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think that I'm always amazed with dating and

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<v Speaker 1>second date update, there's a lot of times where people

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<v Speaker 1>will use like frequently visited places as their places of

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<v Speaker 1>dates and it will come back and bite them in

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<v Speaker 1>the ass. And I don't necessarily think that it's really

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<v Speaker 1>a good thing to Like, maybe it might be good

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<v Speaker 1>to go on a first date and go to a

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<v Speaker 1>place that might not be comfortable for both of you,

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<v Speaker 1>like a new place for both of you, guys, unless

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<v Speaker 1>it's Applebee's or Buffalo Wild Wings because it's a chain.

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<v Speaker 1>But don't bring them to the same one you always

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<v Speaker 1>go to. Jody, what are your thoughts?

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<v Speaker 5>Good morning and your family.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Jody.

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<v Speaker 5>I think it's not ready to be dating right now.

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<v Speaker 5>You don't take a date to somewhere where you're you

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<v Speaker 5>and your ex used to go.

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<v Speaker 6>To and keep bringing her throughout a date.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, find somewhere else to go, and yeah, he's not

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<v Speaker 5>ready to be dating.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know what, it would have been a good thing, though, Jody,

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<v Speaker 1>if he'd brought her there and just didn't bring up.

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<v Speaker 4>His yea, yeah, even if that were the case. Internally,

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<v Speaker 4>he's feeling all the things and his brain is probably

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<v Speaker 4>going to my limited so he's not going to be

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<v Speaker 4>his normal, great self. I don't think so well.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying it's just from personal experiences. I've brought people

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<v Speaker 1>to places that I've been before with others and had

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<v Speaker 1>the ability to separate the past.

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<v Speaker 5>And the break game.

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<v Speaker 4>But it sounds like it's still too fresh for him

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<v Speaker 4>the fields. I understand going somewhere and making a having

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<v Speaker 4>to make a new memory, whatever, but for him, he

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<v Speaker 4>just doesn't sound like he's there yet.

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<v Speaker 1>What's up? Matt, Hey, mo Joe Mornon, Good morning man.

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<v Speaker 1>What's happening.

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<v Speaker 2>So this has.

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<v Speaker 5>Definitely been a worry about me getting back into.

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<v Speaker 2>The dating scene.

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<v Speaker 5>Eladio ready to detect.

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on?

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<v Speaker 5>No?

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<v Speaker 1>No, what was your text?

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<v Speaker 2>What'd you say?

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<v Speaker 5>Well? It was uh a topic of worry for me

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<v Speaker 5>because I was married for almost fifteen years and just

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<v Speaker 5>being recently divorced. You know, you have so many memories

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<v Speaker 5>of going to different places with somebody, not just Applebee's

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<v Speaker 5>Red Rocks, but you know, you try to make these

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<v Speaker 5>new memories of Hey, I want to take this person here.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh why is this significant? Oh I've been here before?

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<v Speaker 5>Oh really for one occasion? I mean everybody has a

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<v Speaker 5>person yeah you know, oh, you know I came here

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<v Speaker 5>with you know, my former spouse or you know that

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<v Speaker 5>kind of thing. You know, there's no subtle way of

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<v Speaker 5>bringing you up.

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<v Speaker 1>Where would be your place?

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<v Speaker 5>Man?

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<v Speaker 1>What's your dia? What would be your place?

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<v Speaker 5>Oh? I'd have to stay a gun range.

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<v Speaker 1>That's actually not a bad place though, to go, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>go to a gun range, especially if she's into it.

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<v Speaker 5>I can't, I can't recall the guy's name. Sure to

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<v Speaker 5>bring it up, Jason, was it probably bad Chase to

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<v Speaker 5>bring it up. Maybe, but it's also on her to

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<v Speaker 5>accept that as bad tastes or not, or you know,

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<v Speaker 5>just forget about it and move along with the date.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, Like I said, everybody's everybody's got a past.

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<v Speaker 2>It didn't feel like it was I don't know. It

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<v Speaker 2>didn't feel like it was too much for me. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know. It feels like a judgmental.

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<v Speaker 1>Matt get out in the dating world, buddy, you deserve it.

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<v Speaker 1>Fifteen years of marriage, that was wonderful, that was part

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<v Speaker 1>of your your store. Now now the next part of

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<v Speaker 1>your story is going to be fabulous.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay from what I from what I hear about the

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<v Speaker 5>dating world recently, I'm better off climbing on the story.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, you may be right. Hold on, Denise, what's up? Denise?

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<v Speaker 5>All right? Hey, first time, long time it's Lady Bitch

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<v Speaker 5>Girls from the Saturday.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey.

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<v Speaker 2>I disagree.

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<v Speaker 3>I think he can bring it up.

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<v Speaker 6>I think that people cannot.

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<v Speaker 5>Wipe out their memories of their past, the norse should

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<v Speaker 5>they have to. You know, it's part of their life

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<v Speaker 5>and it's good memories. So why do you want to

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<v Speaker 5>You know, if you're mature enough, you can handle it.

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<v Speaker 4>You can handle it in a relationship or even on

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<v Speaker 4>a date.

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<v Speaker 5>You know.

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<v Speaker 4>I do agree with you. I do agree with you.

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<v Speaker 4>I think maybe on a first date it might have

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<v Speaker 4>been a lot for her and all. So she had

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<v Speaker 4>just found out that he had been engaged too, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>so I think it was just kind of the cherry

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<v Speaker 4>on top of that piece of information too.

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<v Speaker 6>Right.

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<v Speaker 5>It goes back to how secure are you with yourself?

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<v Speaker 4>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, well, if you're constantly bringing it up, then

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<v Speaker 1>it sounds to me like he may not be ready.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're somebody that brings it up and the person

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<v Speaker 1>says I just don't even want you talking about the

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<v Speaker 1>fact that you were engaged, I think that you may

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<v Speaker 1>not be ready. But Caitlin, last call, what's up, Hey, Modro,

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<v Speaker 1>i'ma going It's okay, Caitlyn. I feel like this second

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<v Speaker 1>date update is just okay, not because of any reason

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<v Speaker 1>of the content that has taken place. I want my

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<v Speaker 1>music bad back, but go ahead, what's going on?

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<v Speaker 6>Honestly, I think she's being very like cynical and judgmental

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<v Speaker 6>about his situation. He's like, yeah, he shouldn't have said anything,

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<v Speaker 6>that's bottom line, but honest and all to see she

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<v Speaker 6>from the words that she how she broke down, what happened,

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<v Speaker 6>and things like that, I.

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<v Speaker 5>Think you dodge a bullet.

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<v Speaker 6>On this one. She doesn't seem like she's very sympathetic

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<v Speaker 6>to him or doesn't seem to like him, because if

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<v Speaker 6>you like somebody, you would you would kind of look

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<v Speaker 6>try to ease up on it.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, you look past it. And she just definitely did.

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<v Speaker 6>Not do that in the situation.

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<v Speaker 1>Kaitlin. When he brought up the word or the phrase,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it would be ruminate, because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even know if ruminate is.

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<v Speaker 4>A really ruminating.

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<v Speaker 1>It is a word. It is a word that when

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<v Speaker 1>you brought that up, honestly, did it turn you on

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<v Speaker 1>don't know.

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<v Speaker 5>Who are you talking to?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Caitlyn, when he brought that up during a second

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<v Speaker 1>date update, did it make you think Lauren should go

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<v Speaker 1>on another date with him?

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<v Speaker 2>That was a great.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>Anybody that uses big adult words.

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<v Speaker 4>Like that, I'm telling you, I guarantee at some point

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<v Speaker 4>this week just going to use it again.

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<v Speaker 5>And you want to You're smart.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody watch out for Jason. If you would like to

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<v Speaker 1>be my uh, I don't know, hooked up fonts. I

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<v Speaker 1>was trying to think of your lexicon. If you would like,

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<v Speaker 1>if you would like to be my linguist to teach

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<v Speaker 1>me words, I'll take you out to the d I

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<v Speaker 1>a my friend.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll do everything. I'll do anything I can to help.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, thank thank you for that. I appreciate it.

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<v Speaker 1>Good luck, guys, thanks for thanks for joining us. And

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<v Speaker 1>Jason good you know things are out there for you, buddy,