WEBVTT - 8am Hour - Ankles, Oil, Llama 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:02.240 And we wanted to get a chance to talk to 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:04.360 her and see what you thought about this one. I 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.719 believe it's Olivia. Yeah, not her real name, but yes 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:12.239 on the phone, Olivia, can you hear us? 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:14.480 Okay, yes I can. 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:16.520 Good Mary, Olivia. I know you listen to the show 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.520 all the time. Thank you for that big supporter of 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:20.959 the show. We appreciate you. Do you want me to 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:22.680 read your email or do you want to just try 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:24.160 to describe what's going on? 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:25.880 Olivia? 0:00:26.120 --> 0:00:27.560 H you can read the email all right. 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:29.200 Let me start off by saying it says I have 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:31.600 a situation. I need some perspective. I'm not sure if 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:33.080 it's the right place to bring it up, but I'd 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:35.680 love to hear people's thoughts and experiences. I'm not looking 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:38.720 for legal advice, just general insight from anybody who's been 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:42.599 through something similar. I work for a privately owned company 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:48.600 in the HR role. At the plant level. There's a big, 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:53.120 big senior executive, very close with the ownership, who frequently 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:58.960 speaks to employees primary management in a demeaning and unprofessional manner, 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:02.760 including talking down to people, using aggressive language in the times, 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.959 making statements that could be interpreted as threats. 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.840 To job security. What did they when? When was the 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:11.199 have you had an encounter with this person yourself lately? 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:17.640 I've met this person and have had conversations, but I've 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:20.720 never actually witnessed any. 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.520 I guess harassment, okay, And then fair question is then 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:27.720 then you know it exists? 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.960 Though how do you know it exists? 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:36.759 From the plant manager himself and from other managers. 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:38.920 So they'll come to you because you're in HR, and 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:40.679 they'll say like, yeah, they were saying this. It's like 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:42.319 if you don't do this, you're gonna get fired, or 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.520 you're not good at what you're doing, you're stupid, and 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:47.960 all these kind of abusive, aggressive things. 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:49.720 Yeah. 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.840 So, I mean pretty much what I've been told is 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:57.720 he would go around and pretty much humiliate employees on 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:02.160 the floor in front of people during executive meetings. He 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:08.600 will single out employees and just the words that he 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:12.600 uses is just very unprofessional. I mean, and it's not 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:18.760 just him, it's other executives as well. And so, I mean, 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:22.280 my issue is right now, I'm still fairly new to 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:26.560 the position and to the company, but I can see 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:29.160 that this is not right. This is harassment, This is 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:35.760 causing a hostile environment, and it's making employees question their 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:40.600 position at our company. And so I'm just curious what 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:43.760 I can do or if there is anything I can 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:47.560 do or we can do. The thing is HR Upper 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:51.000 HR knows about this, but they're not doing anything about it. 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:52.359 Okay. 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.840 Interesting, And one of your questions that you're wrote in 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:58.080 your email, at what point does it just from like 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:02.560 bad boss, bad leadership into a legal issue? That's the 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.400 big question, because especially if they're like a privately owned company. 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.200 Let's say i own Dave's towing. 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:10.359 Company and I've got ten people to drive tow trucks 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:11.720 and a couple of people work in the front desk 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.600 as schedule appointments or whatever. And I'm a jerk and 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:16.440 I tell people, you know what, you're not good at 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:18.359 what you do. If you don't get yourself together, we're 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.680 going to fire you. I can't believe you made such 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:24.200 an idiotic, stupid, boneheaded and I yell at people in 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:28.240 front of people. Is that just a bad boss or 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:33.360 is it a legal issue? That's kind of the question, right, Yeah, Okay, 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:38.600 so what can you do about all this? I will 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:40.200 tell you that we had somebody that worked here at 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:44.280 the radio station. They were mean that they were abusive, 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.280 they were aggressive. They would turn red in the face 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.880 and clench their fists while they screamed. Again, Yeah, gosh, 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:53.200 it was horrible and nobody could believe that they got 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:57.080 away with it. But for whatever reason, management thought it 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:58.520 was kind of cute. They thought it was kind of 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:00.800 funny because he never did that to management. He only 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:04.240 did that to people below him, and man, it was like, yeah, 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.480 he's a pit bull, man, he's a bulldog. Nobody messes 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.200 with him. And in the meantime, the rest of us 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:10.640 were afraid to be around him for his outbursts. So 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.560 and it was terrible. And I think that especially in 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:16.240 twenty twenty five or twenty twenty six, that would cross 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.039 the line like illegality and he probably would have been fired. 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.520 But back then, I'm not going to save the timeframe. 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:24.800 People thought it was funny. So what do you think? 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:27.760 What does anybody know anything about this one? You want 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:29.760 people to call in with maybe some advice on what 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.960 to do. You're kind of like, don't really have the 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:40.719 authority to do anything because you're not in that position, right, Olivia. 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.839 Right, that's correct. I mean I just I kind of 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:47.000 oversee the plant, but I don't have that authority or power. 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.960 I can just continue to report to upper HR. But 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:54.840 you know upper HR, I honestly they're not doing anything. 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:57.160 Well, they seem like they're intimidated by these people. 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:01.479 Too, up raation, intimidation, and I think they're kind of 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:02.840 in on whatever this is. 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:05.200 Well, they're just like allowing it to happen. 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:06.880 Yeah. 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:10.520 Interesting, Yeah, I don't know. So you're not really necessarily 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:13.239 looking for legal advice, although there probably are some legal 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:18.160 blurry lines there. I you know, Okay, there's a couple 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:21.320 of things you can do. Quit and I know that 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:24.560 sounds stupid, like I'm making a joke. That sounds but 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:27.599 but that is an option. But that's not your best option. 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.520 You shouldn't have to quit. They should fix it. The 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.039 other thing is to make a stand. But then you 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:33.960 know what's going to happen. 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:39.680 Retaliation isn't retaliation though, isn't that Like. 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:44.039 In a company that yes, but in a company that's 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:48.560 not like you know, recognizing you know, uh, the bad behavior, 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:49.480 bad behavior. 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:52.680 The retaliation is a very real possibility. 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:55.520 So text messages, can I really do? 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:56.520 Yes? Please? What do you got? 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.440 So this one says number one, document everything and every 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.400 time this, you have to build a case. Number two, 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:06.520 don't assume upper HR isn't doing anything. Chances are they've 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:10.719 been trying, but they're getting pigeonholed by the other upper management. 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:14.200 And number three, family owned businesses are the worst. Oh no, 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:18.440 here's another. This one says, gather people's testimony and present 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:21.760 it to higher ups HR and the CEO and explain 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.640 it from their perspective. If they don't do anything, time 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:27.239 to get out. And then this one kind of asks 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.240 them more questions here though, is there data from employees 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:33.400 who leave about why they leave and can you use 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:36.279 that data to tell a story. Otherwise, if there is 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.800 any sort of whistleblower line, that is a huge consequence 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:42.560 if something comes up through that, you want them to 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:45.600 take action to prevent anyone from calling the whistle blow 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.479 whistle blower line and making life extremely difficult for everyone, 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:50.560 not just the leadership. 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:55.560 So that's some of the advice we got via text message. 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.800 Oh and it's tough because it is kind of like 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:00.880 having abuse of parents. The people that should be protecting 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:05.000 you are the very ones that threaten you or have 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:07.520 an abusive partner, the very one that should protect you, 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:09.800 and that you'd feel safe around. You can't go to 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:15.280 them because they're not protecting you. That's a tough situation. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.040 I truly don't know what to tell you. 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:19.640 I do have someone on the phone that we can 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:21.640 talk to, Vons just getting them on hold. That looks 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:23.760 like they kind of went through the same thing, and 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:25.679 so they've got a story about it as well. 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:27.720 Both putting them on hold. 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:29.360 There is one that says, if you like, there's a 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.120 text message it says, and I don't think Bailey read 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:33.679 this one. If you like your job with your company, 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.080 I wouldn't say anything about it. Keep reporting it to 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:39.400 upper HR and leave it at that. It's tough to do, 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:43.520 but trust me, saying something will make it worse for you. 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:47.400 That's what's bonkers to me. That's not fair. Can't be 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:48.760 about it's sad. 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:49.040 Here. 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:50.320 We can talk to Lisa real quick. 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:53.160 It sounds like Lisa has been through something similar before. 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:59.120 Hi, Lisa, not your real name, Lisa, oh, fake name, 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:05.400 fake name? If you can hear us, we're maybe not okay? 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:05.760 All right? 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:06.440 Sorry? 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:11.400 Lisall? I agree? 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:16.920 Okay, Well, I'm not sure what what how much help 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.720 we can give you? But I I don't know a 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:22.600 lot of the time we get things like this, like, yeah, 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.280 I've got a strong opinion on this one. I don't 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:27.520 I don't know. I think the one point that says, 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:32.680 keep documenting what you're what you're seeing, and keep reporting 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:37.640 it to upper HR because it is their responsibility. You're 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:40.440 doing your responsibility by passing it up the food chain, 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:43.880 the chain of command. It's their responsibility to do something. 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.840 And this sounds stupid, but there's a small little like 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:49.560 you know, counter blessings that this these people are not 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.840 abusing you, you know. 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.520 Her on accident, so she's not there any Olivia, okay, 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:56.960 but she she's probably listening. 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:57.559 Uh. 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:00.000 There's another tax that says leaders like this are incredible 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:01.160 difficult to get rid of. 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:01.880 Upper HR. 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:04.439 Maybe building an air type case that can survive a 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:07.880 few holes poked in it and still hold up. It's hard, 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:10.760 especially if this person has a good relationship with the owners. 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.480 That's the thing probably about a small company. Like if 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:16.560 you know, if I own Dave's Towing company and Jenny 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:19.120 was my business partner, and Jenny and I, you know, 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.920 we both abused everybody. I'm not going to fire Jenny 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.360 for being you know, mean and telling people they're idiots, 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.800 you know, because Jenny and I are. 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:31.000 You shouldn't be idiots. Do your job, stupid idiot. 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:34.439 Okay, okay, Well, if you have anything you want to 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:36.800 add to that, please let us know. 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:40.679 It is Katie w B. We've always got. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:44.439 Concert tickets to give away and today is no exception, 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.240 so let's do it right now. We got tickets to 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:58.599 Conan Gray, Thank you very much. Can I call me 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:00.600 if you want to go see Cony Gray Febr Nineteenth 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.520 at Target Center. If you want to go, love to 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:05.720 send you. If you've heard of Conan and you're like, man, 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.280 I want to go see them, that'd be great, call 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.720 me and we will set up a random number caller. 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:11.640 Can I tell you why? I'm a little bit like 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:13.679 I don't know. It was a very cool thing. Carson 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:17.480 works for David Kushner, the artist Yeah from the Daylight, 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:20.840 from the day Line, Run Run the Daylight. That guy, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:23.600 and Carson's toured with him and they're very close. And 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:27.679 Carson was very excited because he said, David Kushner sent 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.360 me his new music and he wants me to listen 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:33.040 to it and give and let him know what I think. 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:35.480 Give it to him on a tape a cassette. He's like, hey, 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:36.280 I got a new one here. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.439 Probably yeah, it was a cassette. I'm sure. 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.040 So Carson's like, and that's really cool. I said, yeah, 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.880 well make sure you say positive things. And he said, well, 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.080 I love his music, but I'm not gonna lie. And 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.400 you know, he wants me to be honest. I'm like, 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.199 you're a better man than me, because I would brown nose. 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:55.800 I'd be like, oh my god, Bach Beethoven had nothing 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:58.480 on you, David. This is amazing stuff. This is going 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:03.360 straight to this top of every chart. And Carson's like, well, no, 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.440 he wants me to be honest. I'm like, oh, yeah, OK, 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:07.840 I don't know. I just thought it was tough. 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:11.240 On yeah, because obviously Carson wants to continue working for 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:14.079 him and doing stuff, but then he wants him to 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:16.280 be honest. And I feel like it's almost like a 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:19.600 game of survivor, like what does Dave Cristner really want 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:19.920 to hear? 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.640 And trying to judge that, like based on just looking 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:23.199 at his face. 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:26.160 I think I think it's I think he's Carson loves him. 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:27.760 He's just you know, for being like a you know, 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.439 a pretty big star and somebody that could be a diva, 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:32.000 and Carson has worked for some divas. 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:36.520 He says, David's got no diva in him at all. Wow. 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.559 And and he loves Carson because Carson does his job 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.920 and David treats him well, and so so he trusts 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.200 Carson to hear his new music and given him honest opinion. 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:48.839 So Carson's like, I'm gonna be honest. I'm like, Okay, 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:51.680 well that's great. You're a better person than I because 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:53.040 I'd be like, this is the most. 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.400 Amazing thing ever. 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:55.240 I loved it. 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:57.920 Granted, if I asked somebody for their opinion on something 0:11:57.920 --> 0:11:59.760 that I was doing, I would want them to say, 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.520 even though I would tell them, please be honest, Please 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.560 be honest, what you thought about it, I'd be like, no, 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:06.480 tell me only good things. 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:08.880 Yeah, you know you know what I noticed? It's very true. 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:12.280 I have been like mentoring and coaching radio shows for years, 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:15.120 and the shows that do really well and really get 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.199 bet are the ones who are like, oh, yeah, that's 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:18.720 a good idea, and I'm like, maybe try a little 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:20.120 bit more of this and a little bit less of this. 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:22.600 They're like, oh yeah, that's a really good idea, and 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:26.120 the ones who do poorly and get fired are the 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:27.840 ones who are like, well that's the way we've always 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:29.880 done it, or you know, I don't like doing it 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.240 the other way. Well, I don't think you're right about that. 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:34.320 And it's not that I have all the answers, but 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:38.960 I think sometimes we don't want to hear coaching or critiquing. 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.240 We want to hear praise. And praise is great. We 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:45.959 all love praise. But if I was working for oh, 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:48.600 I don't know, Let's say Tom Brady was teaching me 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:50.840 how to throw a football, He's like, well, you got 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:52.559 to curl your fingers a little bit more. And I'd 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.600 be like, well, I've never curled my fingers before. I'm 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:56.520 not going to start now. Do you think I'm going 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:57.120 to get better? 0:12:57.280 --> 0:12:57.679 No? 0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:00.560 No, So all right, we'll be back in second. The 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.439 Daily Bailey is coming up. What's coming up on the 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:03.600 Bailey Daily Daily Daily? 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:08.960 Tell you how you can upgrade your conversations oo ooh okay. 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.440 Yeah, throwing the word like a lot. 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.280 Yeah, And I send this to Carson because. 0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:17.000 All right, this should be valuable. 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:21.079 We'll do it next on KDWB on KB. 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.360 We'll get to that another time. But right now. 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:31.440 Yep, it's the Daily Daily on KDWB. 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:38.920 All right, I've got some ways to upgrade your conversations. 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:40.280 Yes, I saw this on TikTok. 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:42.320 I don't actually have a real source for it, but 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.400 he seemed like he knew what he was talking about. Okay, 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:48.319 so you're gonna use these four things to upgrade your conversations. 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:52.040 And it spells out talk T a l K so 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:56.120 T topic. You have to come up with some ideas 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.840 of what to talk about with this person before engaging 0:13:59.880 --> 0:14:02.720 in conversations. So if you're going, like to go get 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.480 coffee with a friend of yours or something, before you 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.320 go there, tracking your brain, what do I know about 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.120 this person? What are their likes and dislikes? What were 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.160 we talking about maybe the last time I saw them? 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.960 What's going on in their lives? So having a little 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.640 list of potential topics so that you don't get there 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.960 and just say how are you? Because that is going 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:24.440 to kill a conversation. 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.880 Good, How are you good? No, that's a great idea. Yeah. 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:29.520 The first time I ever had a phone conversation with 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:31.480 a girl from college, she said, I'll call you later today. 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:32.800 We'll say hi, what's your phone? Number. 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:35.680 I wrote down topics to talk to her, Yes, because 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.760 I had no idea, Like bird, I don't talk to girls. 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:39.880 I don't know how it works. 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:42.400 Regular guy had a list on his phone. He showed 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:44.240 me like a little note on his phone for our 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:46.280 first date of things that I liked that he had 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:47.680 gleaned from my profile. 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:52.880 So, yes, have a list of topics. A for TA 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:54.560 lk A is ask. 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:59.320 Make sure you're asking questions about the person you're talking 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.120 to or things that they say. If it inspires you 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:04.200 to ask a question, you're not just waiting for your 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.640 turn to say the opposite of what they're saying, or 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.800 be like giving your opinion, ask them questions about it. 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.160 This is some listen because sometimes they'll say something fascinating right. 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:15.640 Radio people are the worst of this. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:17.920 They'll be interviewing somebody and they'll be like, and then 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:20.760 I went to the moon, And they're like, they totally 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.120 didn't even hear it because they're too busy thinking about 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:23.840 their next question. 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:27.240 Yeah, exactly. And I could be better at asking questions. 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.880 I usually have to remind myself to do it, okay. 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:35.280 Next letter is levity t al levity. 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:36.840 Which is also like humor. 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.840 He was talking about, Like, even if you're having a 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:44.920 serious conversation, peppering in some humor or some kind of 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:48.480 levity within the conversation as you are talking to them 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:51.720 will provide comfort for the person you are talking to, 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:56.240 and that comfort will lead them to want to kind 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.360 of or expose some you know, more insecurities or more 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.680 serious topics that they wouldn't necessarily give you if you 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:07.080 didn't like give them some levity in that conversation. Yeah, sure, topic, 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:11.760 ask levity. And then finally the K and talk is kindness. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:16.040 So taking whatever they said and like holding it with love, 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.760 buttering the person up, Like if they say something you 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.360 know that they should be proud of or whatever, like 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:26.280 really highlighting that, And it's like a boast to Bailey situation. 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.640 How can you take what they said and really like 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.800 highlight them in a positive way and be super kind 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:33.360 and loving to them. 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:35.800 So this is how you upgrade your conversations. 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:41.600 Keep a list of topics, ask questions, incorporate levity and 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:46.240 or humor, and lead with kindness. And that's how you 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:51.720 can give this to uh Carson, especially topic and ask. 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:55.920 I think those are his two main goals in conversation. 0:16:56.000 --> 0:17:01.000 Why my son Carson is very not just shy, but quiet, 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.240 and he's you know, he's such a sweet soul, he 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:08.080 really is, but he is sometimes he's difficult to hang 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.200 out with sometimes because he's so quiet, and we get 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.239 used to just you know, riding in the car in 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:15.040 silence and now bringing up something like, oh, yeah, I 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:16.640 guess that store closed down over there. 0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:17.040 Uh huh. 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:18.720 Yeah, we used to go to that store all the time. 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:20.639 Remember when you were six years old? Blah blah blah, 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:21.840 uh huh. 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:23.880 You get really good at like reading the signs as 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.120 you pass them, like oh, radio drive. 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.280 The one thing that I noticed is that, you know, 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:35.640 when you're having a great conversation with somebody you meet 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.000 for lunch, and you're having a great conversation, if the 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.119 server has to come by several times to see what 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.880 you want to order, that's great because you haven't even 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:43.760 looked at the menu yet. 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:44.040 Yeah. 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.160 But if you're like, okay, great, how are you Shelley? 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:47.760 Oh good, what have you been up to? The kids 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:48.080 are good? 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:51.080 Yeah? Uh huh huh what looks good? 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:53.000 I think I'll look at the paddy melt And it's 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:55.639 like thirty seconds into lunch and you already know what 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:56.040 you want. 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:57.960 Yeah, that is not a good sign. 0:17:58.119 --> 0:17:59.720 We've all been there all right. 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:04.639 Coming up on KTWB signs that you or somebody is 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:08.119 a bad driver. These are signs that somebody is a 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:11.879 bad driver. Maybe it's you, or maybe you know somebody 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:13.399 who's a bad driver. Will give you the signs or 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.359 a bad driver coming up in a minute on kd 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:20.800 w UB. Do you know a bad driver? I wouldn't 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:22.960 say Susan is a bad driver, but she's got several 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:30.440 traits of a bad driver. She is constantly decelerating and 0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:33.639 then accelerating. She cannot I mean when I sit in 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.320 the passenger seat, because she either is like going too 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:38.440 slow or too fast, and then she'll speed up or 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:40.880 slow down. It's constant, and I'm going back and forth 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:42.680 in the seat like and I brought it up a 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:44.520 long time ago. I'm like, you know, you really you 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:46.760 don't need to like ride the gas like that. Just 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:48.720 pick one speed and stay with it down. 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:50.480 Tell me what you want to drive. 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:52.320 You go ahead and drive yourself. I'm shut over there 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.399 and you bear backstreet driver. So here are the signs 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:59.479 that someone is a bad driver. First sign is always 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:04.120 overcot it's mixed with zero awareness. And I think, honestly, 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.120 it's mostly dudes that are bad drivers because they think 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:09.080 they're really good drivers. They think they're born with an 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:12.720 innate ability to drive, and they're really not especially good 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:14.840 because they think they're good. It's like anybody who thinks 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:16.320 they're really good at something, so they don't need to 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:20.679 get better at it, sure when they can't when they 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.320 don't accelerate to highway speeds on the on ramps. So 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:26.479 when you're getting off of like Hopkins Crossroad onto three 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:30.680