WEBVTT - EITM interviews Bert Kreischer 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.480 Please officially welcome our friend, mister Burke Riser. 0:00:03.160 --> 0:00:05.880 It is so great to be here. It is so 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:06.640 great to be here. 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:08.440 By the way, can I tell you just did something 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:09.000 made me sick? 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:11.800 So you put in one of your halls mental elyptus things, 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:13.399 but then you drank coffee with it. 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:14.040 Oh, I love it. 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:17.640 Oh, but it's coffee. 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.560 I do these with almost anything. I ran the marathon 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:21.080 with these. 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:24.000 In which oh back when the back in the day. 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:27.480 Marathon has meant the lytus. How you're doing there, dude? 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:32.199 Maybe I don't want us to get COVID. 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:36.800 I've had COVID eleven times that little I know. 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:38.560 I'm not going a honeypot. 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:41.879 The last time I got it, I gave it to 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:45.320 everyone on our crew. I'm giving it to more people 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:45.880 than anyone. 0:00:45.920 --> 0:00:48.840 When is when is the last time you had When 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:49.880 is the last time you had COVID? 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:55.000 I think, apparently I have this. I get this cough 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.800 like you know once a year. It starts with allergies, right, 0:00:57.920 --> 0:00:59.640 But then everyone's like, we're getting ready to shoot my 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.400 TV show and everyone's like, maybe she get tested for COVID, 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:03.880 And I was like, I'm not shutting down. 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:05.320 Production because of COVID. 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:08.520 Absolutely, And one of the co stars comes in with 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:12.000 a mask on and I go, Johnny cast us over here, 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:15.680 and I was like, and you know nowadays, if you 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:20.800 wear a mask somewhere, everyone's like, okay, politics, and so 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:24.000 everyone's like, look at this lid Tar and he's like, 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.720 my son's on a breathing tube or something. And I 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.959 gave him COVID. I did. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.720 I gave him COVID. What was his name? You remember that, Kyle? 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:35.440 Yeah, I gave him COVID and he was like the 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:39.040 second day and then he had COVID for the whole production, right, 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:42.040 and he was shaking and he was fevers. 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:44.399 And still hasn't seen his kid, and yeah, he had 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:45.240 to live in a hotel. 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:49.080 Yeah, he was like, and I remember we were doing 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:51.000 the scene. I just couldn't stop coughing and he was 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:53.120 like this and I was like, don't worry, it's not COVID. 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:55.520 The next day you have tested positive. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:58.680 And I was like, is that like a right AID 0:01:58.720 --> 0:01:59.960 test or a CBS test. 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:02.440 Go to a doctor. I don't believe those tests. 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:07.280 All right, So the tour, the tour is start. Man, 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:09.200 you really get after a nice coffee, don't you. 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:11.080 It's the only enjoy I have these days. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.640 Okay, where are we gonna start with Monjorno? We're gonna 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.359 start there because Diane's right. I thought it was a bit. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:17.839 No. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.880 How many Menthols are you putting in your thing? 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:21.640 Okay? 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:23.760 The no, No, I thought that was a bit. 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:25.400 I didn't think that you were doing he had to 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:27.799 promote appearances in Florida because you said. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:30.160 Yeah, I spent thousand dollars on a case of Majorno 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:31.320 to do a promotion. 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:32.640 That's slick marketing. 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:36.040 Wait, so you paid for the manjorna. 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:36.880 Yeah, yeah, you gotta. 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:41.080 I'll think No, say it right, it's munjaro. Okay, I 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:42.360 said it, how Bert said it? 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:43.320 Hey, I'm on it. 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:45.720 Okay, So I'm telling a black person not to say 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.240 the N word, the M word. 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.200 I thought they gave it to you. 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:53.640 No, you gotta. I think you have to pay. I 0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:54.359 had to pay for it. 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:56.960 No. But like when you said it's legit, I thought, oh, 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.480 like they're they're They're like, like, let's prescribe. But I 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:02.400 guess you're dealing. I guess it's deal with liquid death 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:06.600 ran out. However, you say to God. 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:09.440 I didn't want to wait until the prescription came in 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.880 and so I got it and then my longevity doctor 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:14.320 hit me up and I was like, yo, don't take 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.920 that dosage. Micro dose it at first. You'll be really 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.000 sick if you take that dosage. And then I micro 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.520 dosed it and I still got sick, and I was 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:23.840 like this is I mean, the first day I felt 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:26.480 the effects, I was at a steakhouse with Liam and 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:29.600 I ate salad like I was hungry. I didn't eat 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:31.840 anything all day. I ate salad like I was hungry. 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:33.720 I had a martini and then my steak came out 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:36.800 and I was like ugh, and then she was like 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:38.880 what and I was like, I'm just not hungry, and 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.800 I felt so weird. I don't know what it's like 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.320 to like I'm always hungry, yeah, yeah, always. And so 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.040 then I was like I'll just save it. And then 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.560 I woke up the next morning and I wasn't hungry, 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:51.120 and I was like what do you want to do? 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:51.920 And I was like I don't know. 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.240 And then nothing really had like a and then we 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.640 were standing in the pool and everyone has like specialty cocktails. 0:03:57.640 --> 0:03:59.400 We were in Naples for it was my birthday, right 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:00.720 and I was like she was like, do you want 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:02.160 to get a drink? And I was like, I'm good 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:04.760 and she was like what, I hate you? I know. 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:07.560 And then I was like I'm good and she was 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:09.800 like okay. And then I was like, I could maybe 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.040 work out again. I don't know, maybe you get a 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.040 diet dr pepper. And then I took a diet doctor 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:17.120 pepper and tasted it off and I was like, I'm 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:20.240 gonna stick with water and I know it was And 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.880 then and then we went. She goes, let's go watch sunset. 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:24.640 She opened a bottle of champagne and I had one 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:26.760 glass and I was like, usually you open a bottle 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.160 of champagne. I murdered that first class and then pour 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:31.239 a second one so that I'm ahead of you, right, 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:33.520 And I had a sip and I was like, oh, 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.880 I'm good. And then I took it in the shower 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:38.320 with me because we're getting ready to go to dinner. 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:39.920 And I was like, I'm murdering the showers. These are 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:42.160 old habits. And I had brought it in the shower 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:48.440 and I was like, oh, what are soupkits in it? Yeah, 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:51.600 so this stuff works. Life's not enjoyable and you don't 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.240 decide when you go to the bathroom, it just happens. 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:56.040 Wait, so what what? 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:56.280 What? 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:57.480 How long have you been on it? 0:04:57.560 --> 0:04:59.919 So here's what happened. I went to the doctor. 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:01.040 Why do you want it? 0:05:01.400 --> 0:05:03.560 Because I went to the doctor and he was like, 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:05.960 my last time I was there, I was like two 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:08.560 forty and he's like, you're going good, let's keep losing 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:10.360 to weight. And then I showed up and I was two, 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:13.159 like two seventy four to seventy two right, And he 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:15.200 was like, hey, we're going in the wrong direction again. 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:17.520 And he's like and I said, well, oh, but here 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.039 I should tell you something. I'm very strong and he 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:22.719 was like what. He's like, how strong are you? What 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.360 are you? Yeah? I go, I go, muscleways more than fat. 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:27.200 These are all things that you've heard people say on 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:29.840 the subway on a bus. You don't understand how mush 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:35.120 muscla muscleways more than fat and so so uh. 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:37.400 And so he's like, how strong are you? 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:38.920 And I go on bench three hundred and twenty five 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:41.400 pounds and he was like that's strong, but I wouldn't 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:44.000 count for like ninety pounds of muscle. And he's like, 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.600 let's tell you what let's do a dex scan, dexas scan. Right, 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:50.880 So we do a DEXA scan and it comes back aggressive. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:52.560 Did you see the picture? 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:53.960 No? 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:55.920 No, I did sow it to you. It's so weird. 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:57.360 So is it DEXA scan? 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:58.240 Does it? Does it? 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.359 Does it tell everything that's wrong in your body? 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:01.640 Got one of those? 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:06.760 Oh so I got one of those. It's awesome. I 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:07.880 went in. I went in. 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.640 No, so there's I swear to God, I've been waiting 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:11.400 for the call. I've been waiting for the call for Oh. 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:12.440 No, here here, here we go. 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:14.279 So there's a there's a there's a guy who is 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:17.240 the TV broadcaster for the capitals, right, and he went 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:19.640 and got one of these scans. Another guy is who 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.920 works for the works for the capitals, a guy named 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:26.400 Alan May, and he's got he's he's in business down 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.960 in Florida, in Tampa, and they have this company where 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:33.080 they do these scans. So the locker went down there 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.560 and got it. Dude, they caught a heart like that. 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:38.160 He came back. Yeah, he came back. I had to 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:40.960 have his whole heart redone. He's fine now, like everything's good. 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:43.159 But it was because of the scan. He had no idea. 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:45.479 He would have had no idea, so he went and 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:47.440 got the scan. So Alan May was up my ass 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.120 and was like, you got to get the scan done. 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.760 So on a weekend, I flew down there and I 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:52.880 met up with Alan. 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:53.400 And I got it done. 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:57.040 I went in thinking, yeah, well here comes lung cancer. 0:06:58.040 --> 0:06:59.560 Exactly, I thought. 0:06:59.480 --> 0:06:59.880 Number one thing. 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:04.200 No, everyone does, right. I was like, it's got to 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:09.840 be lungcas. You're smoking your Canadian catching moose, drinking maple syrup, 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:13.000 and what is it? I couldn't be more healthy? Shut up. 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:17.880 I couldn't fa my carotid arteries, beautiful, my my, my lungs, 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:18.800 my my. 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.320 Heart like I was afraid, like something, either I got 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.680 lung cancer or I'm gonna get a heart attack because 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.400 all my my my, my veins are all clogged up 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:27.560 my arteries and stuff. 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:29.000 Please get your hands out of your pain. 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:31.680 Sorry. Sorry, I started getting excited. 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:32.880 I started getting excited. 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:39.720 I thought my arteries were gonna be clogged up and everything. Dude, perfect, perfect. 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:39.720 That's it. 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.960 It's like it's like all those decision warnings on cigarette 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:44.160 labels should be gone. 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:45.480 So I couldn't agree more. 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:48.520 But I went in thinking, how am I'm bracing myself 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:50.800 for bad news. And I came out of there going 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:54.880 this is not I feel great. I feel fantastics. You 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.640 should get one. No, I got the opposite news from 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:04.280 this Texas scan. Look at this, this is my body. 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:05.520 All that black is fat. 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.960 He said, you can carry it in one place, ninety. 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.120 Pounds in my stomach. And he's like, that's not where 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:14.720 you want to carry it. He's like, anywhere to keep it. 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.200 That's the worst place because it's around your organs. It's 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:18.880 around all your organs. And he was like, you got 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:20.680 to get rid of it. And he was like, listen, 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:22.280 I said, I'm not doing my joor. No, it's not 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.560 as I go, I'm not. It's a cheat code. And 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:26.880 he goes, no, he goes to cheek go for someone 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:29.600 trying to lose five pounds, here's you have ninety pounds 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:31.160 to lose, right, And he was like, it's not a 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:32.880 cheap code. And he goes, I'll tell you what, I'll 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:35.679 prescribe it. Don't take it. I'll be I'll see even 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:38.240 three months. Do I see the doctor every three months? Hereuse, 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:41.000 I'll see you in three months and weigh and he goes, 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:43.400 and then you'll take it. I promise you then you'll 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:45.920 take it. And I went all right, So I was like, 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:47.680 I was like, you know what, and it's hard because 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:49.800 you everything, like You're like, I'll take it. And then 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:54.800 I was like, I'm going fishing tomorrow. Yeah. And then 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:58.160 I finally took it. And I mean the first day 0:08:58.200 --> 0:08:59.880 I took it and not even supposed to kick in 0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:02.880 for week, I just stopped eating like I wasn't. I 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:05.320 was like, I don't know, it's so bizarre. 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:06.240 How do you take it? 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:08.319 You shoot it in your stomach, do you really? Yeah, 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:09.800 there's a needle and you shoot it in your stomach, 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:11.960 and uh is it hurt? 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:12.439 No? 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.720 I like needles. I just took my testophone downstairs. I'm 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:20.440 a cocktail. I'm a cocktail of man. Yeah. 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:22.760 But like my blood work came back great, right, you know. 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.640 Like so the doctor's like, yo, we're just getting in 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.800 front of what we know is going to be a problem. 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:29.440 It's going to be a problem, and like he does 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:31.760 a scan of all my organs and he's like, yo, 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:34.200 I'm supposed to be able to see your liver pretty clear, right, 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:36.080 And he's like, and I just there's so much fat 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:39.640 on you. I can't. I was like, I was like, 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:41.320 what about that muscle? He goes not as much as 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:45.240 you'd think. I was like, really he goes, You'd be shocked, 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:49.600 you'd be stunned. So I'm on it, and you know, 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.920 it's like, he's my doctor. So if I go, if 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:53.880 he says to do it, I'll do it. I'll see 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.240 what happens, and I'm certain I'll do it, and then 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:59.520 take get off it and then gain four hundred back up. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:00.319 You have to, buddy. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:01.880 Mine was on it and he lost a bunch of 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:03.040 weight and he ballooned right back up. 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:03.280 Yeah. 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.360 Yeah, so I'm ready for that. 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:07.640 No, but then you just take it again. 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:09.240 To take it for the rest of my life, I 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:09.640 don't care. 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:13.360 I don't care. Hopefully, I almost hope I get hit 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:17.160 by a car and then I go, thank God, I 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.120 thought it was going to be something else because I hope, 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.200 I hope I get into a car accident with my 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.920 wife driving and the last words out of my mouth 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:25.760 are just. 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:27.560 So you know I saw that coming and I didn't 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:28.080 say anything. 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.719 I hate that when I go I saw it and 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:34.839 I go, no, you didn't. 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:41.160 God, do you get the do you get the what 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.520 are the there's what are the side effects from montour? 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:43.679 No? 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.240 Yeah, I got them, but what are they? 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:47.000 Na? Like? 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:48.320 Yeah, you get nauseous, right. 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.240 Either constipated or diarrhea. 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:54.000 Oh, I got the diarrhea. It's like striking oil. You 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:55.720 don't know when you ever see there will be blood. 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.760 That's what my every bathroom experience is like. And and 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:03.840 I'm to be disgusting, but okay, I'm a guy that 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.280 doesn't mind like a pretty aggressive fart if I do 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:12.480 it right. The smell is like, is like worthy of 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.360 the person that's stall next to you, going, what is 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:18.520 that like? I've had two experiences where that happened. One 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:20.439 time I took a jump in Japan and the guy 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:21.679 it was so bad, the guy that stall next to 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:24.319 me threw up. And we were in Japan, so I 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:26.160 thought he was talking to me. He's like and I 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:29.000 was like, I have a toilet paper, there's a button 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:33.120 but day. And then another time was in Denver and 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:35.360 I had drank a raw egg with beer at like 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:37.400 ten in the morning. Okay, it's like it was like 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.120 a thing and I drank it and that night I 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.959 went to the bathroom and the guy goes, bro, bro, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:46.320 what is that and I was like, are you serious. 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:50.400 He's like, I'm gonna throw up, man, And I was like, oh, 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:51.200 I had a raw egg. 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:56.360 He goes, I know, yeah, but wait, what is your 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:57.560 longevity doctor? 0:11:57.760 --> 0:11:59.560 Is that what those people's gonna make you live forever? 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:00.280 Oh? 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.560 Get out of here, buddy, I'm on all of it. 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:04.640 That's a scam. 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.200 I'm sure it is. Hey. By the way, as you 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:09.880 are pitching me that that MRI machine, I was like, 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:11.520 I'm gonna make one, put it up at the mall 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:13.600 and just tell everyone they're they're good. 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:16.920 And it's just it's called the feel Good machine. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:18.160 And I go, we scan. 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.960 It's not one hundred percent, it's really close scanning you 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:22.400 look good. 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.960 I think you're good for real. Yeah, I just want nothing. 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:28.360 And then everyone just comes out feeling good and they're like, no, 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:29.320 it's like teeth whitening. 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:32.640 But for help, yeah, I have a longevity doctor. 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:33.280 They do? 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:34.000 Uh is that? 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:35.080 What is that supposed to do? 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.319 I understand at the end, but it's supposed Is it 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.160 the famous guy that you see on TV? 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.680 No, you see him on Rogan's podcast? 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:42.000 No? 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.120 The different Wait is that the guy that I'm thinking of? 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:48.200 No, Peter at is who you're thinking of probably Andrew Huberman. 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:49.800 There's like a bunch of them. 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:52.439 Now, yeah, there's there's one that I feel like pops 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:53.760 up on the Daily Mail all that. 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.959 Peter Atia. He is like, he was like, this is 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:59.080 what I do for my clients. If you can dead 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:01.200 hang your body for three minutes, have you ever tried that? 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.439 By the way, thirty seconds is aggressive. He's like, three minutes, 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:08.480 then we're good. You need to be able to carry 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.640 your body weight over two miles And you're like what, 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.040 And so, uh, Peter t is a guy who swam 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:18.520 from like Maui to Malokai. He's just he's one. 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:19.199 Of those I got you. 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:20.320 But that's not you're a guy. 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.240 No, My guy's more like, yo, let's let's drug you up. 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:28.719 The first time I went to him, he was like, 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.320 all right, let's take a look at your levels and 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:32.160 we'll just get him back to normal. And I was 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.320 like okay. So then they take your blood work and 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.040 then they're like, all right, here's where you're at. So 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:38.640 let's just give you pills to get him lower those things. 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:41.839 And so my testosterone was in the garbage. My doctor 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:43.400 was the first person that told me I should do it. 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:46.000 My cardiologist he was like, he was like, you know, 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:48.840 your test osterhone's crazy low, and he was like, you 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.240 could use a little more testosterhone. It would help with everything. 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:54.320 It's preparative, it's good for your liver. So why don't 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.640 we get you on testosterone? And then recided Joe, I 0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:00.640 got into this place waste well. And then they were like, here, 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.160 we can do all that we can do. You know, 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.959 stem cells and arena stem cells. We can do everything. 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:07.480 And so I go to them. I see them every 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.200 six months, see my cardiologist every three months. 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:12.680 Look at you. 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:13.760 I have a beer. 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:17.199 But do you do you want to live for you 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.080 don't want to live to your like one hundred and five. 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:25.320 I want to outlive my enemies, right, I mean I 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.800 would like to, Like, I know this is gonna sound 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.680 bad when I say this, Okay, I already know that 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:33.120 you're gonna hear this and go, there's something well with Burt. 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.240 But if on my deathbed I could press a button 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.000 in what in the world I do it? 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.600 I don't want anyone to outlive me. And then I 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:44.600 don't even want your daughters. 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:45.040 No, I don't. 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:46.720 I don't when I die, the world dies. 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:49.160 I can't see it. 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:49.840 What do I care? 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:54.520 I would be a really bad Kim Jong Lun or Putin, 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:56.720 or I just would. 0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:57.040 I would. 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.920 I totally understand ending the world. I completely get it. 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:02.000 If I can't live, no one lives. 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.760 But is that is that your whole thing, with your 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:08.560 fascination of when you get to I hope I say 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:12.040 this right where you were talking about the woman, there 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:15.280 was a woman on a flight who was like just 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.240 going off on a plane and I don't remember what 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:19.280 the scenario. They ended up dragging her off the flight, 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:22.360 but she was she was yelling, she was calling people fat, 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:23.680 she was enbombing some guy. 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.720 Yeah no, she never said the endbomb. Not to defend her, 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:26.800 but yet, right. 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:28.560 But what she was yelling at, what she was just 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.320 yelling at talking about And at some point you were like, 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:34.720 that's getting like you're at the edge. And at some 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:36.520 point you're at the edge, and you go, you know what, 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.280 I'm letting it all go. I don't care, that's it. 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.560 I'm letting it all go on it. There's a moment 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:44.960 at this video. By the way, I'm obsessed with this video. 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:47.360 This woman's an artist in New York each I'm certain 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:48.920 she wants me to stop talking about this. 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.320 Right, she went off on an airplane. She was drunk. 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:54.040 She was overserved at the bar. That's what I call 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:57.080 people at drunk on airlines. They were overserved, right because 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:58.560 they what they do is they don't party the way 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:00.400 I do. Like, I was drink on air so I 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.520 can hold it together if I feel like I'm too drunk. 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:05.680 I stopped talking to people, and that she didn't. And 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:07.800 there was an and it was Southwest. I'm not defending her, 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.840 it was Southwest, and this overweight woman did a BS move. 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.840 Her and her boyfriend sat in the window and in 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:19.520 the center, and I was like, no one's gonna sit 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:21.440 on the aisle because you're so overweight. 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:22.880 And that's what the girl. 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:25.480 Said, Oh right, okay, okay, And that's that. 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:26.520 Was where the fight started. 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.960 Then the overweight woman touched her first right, and this 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:33.720 woman snapped and she grabbed her hair and she held 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:34.240 her hair. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:35.320 And everyone started grabbing her. 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.920 And then the moment of purity, the moment of zen Buddhism, 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.680 the moment that we all should strive for in life, 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:43.800 when they were like, yo, you need to let go 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:45.800 of her. We're gonna have to call the cops, and 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.160 the girl just looked at everyone goes, guys, we're way 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:55.120 past this. When she let them know, I already, I'm already. 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.360 I'm already covered in mud. This is over. I don't 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:00.560 I am joan of arc and I am tied to 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:02.920 the stake. There's no talking my way out of this. 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.080 You are killing me. I'm not gonna accept your God. 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:09.760 I will die with my convictions. That's the moment I 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:13.480 want in life. And then, I mean, then it gets 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:16.040 even crazier because they handcoff her and leave her right 0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:19.720 and she starts literally crawling on her back down the 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:23.879 aisle and kicking people. It is I mean, it's gotta 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.080 be the most freeing. It's like it's like Michael douglasson 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:29.120 Falling Down. You remember that, He's like, I just want 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:33.160 to make a phone call, right, No, exactly exactly. There's 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.480 so many times where I go, who do I say 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.119 it to the other day? Who do I say it 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.479 to the other day? I just got into this fight 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:44.080 the other day. But I was like, if everyone forgets 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.880 the pecking order of society and that there are big 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:50.960 animals and little animals, and sometimes you know, it's crazy. 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:53.840 This dance we play where it's like, you know, you 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:55.399 get to talk to me like that, But that's not 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:59.480 how the world really works, right, I just I love 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:00.800 I love it when it's falling down? 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:01.840 Do you remember, I mean you remember. 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.919 Do you remember, like when the pandemic happened and you 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:06.760 tried to get someone to help you and he's like no, 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.359 and you'd be like, hey, you guys are open and 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:15.000 it's just someone going eh no, I locked it. I'm 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:18.960 on this side and I need you to open it. Dude. 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:22.359 There's nothing more powerful than apathy. When I worked at 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.520 Barnes and Noble, I'll never forget this look in this 0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:25.040 woman's eyes. 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:26.119 You worked at Barnes and Nobles. 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:27.639 Oh yeah, you don't know that story? 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:29.240 No wait do I know that. 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:29.719 You have to? 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.240 Uh yeah, I got fired for working out in the basement. 0:18:33.720 --> 0:18:35.760 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, ok ok. 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.840 This woman wanted a our architectusual Die is just type 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.040 magazine right, And I worked at the information desk right 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:45.920 at the front. She walks in, reads my name tag 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:49.320 and says Bert, do you know Ernie? And I'm like 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:53.040 I don't. By the way, I had a box cutter. 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:55.320 It was before nine to eleven. I had a box 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.399 cutter that had a name tag that said Ernie on it. 0:18:58.000 --> 0:18:58.520 That's true. 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.000 I was like, oh, I know, Ernie, stay back. And 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:04.240 so that joke was less funny when they attacked player 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:10.840 as a poscarters. So this is so it's so she goes, 0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:12.399 can you take me to find this magazine? And I 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:14.360 go yeah, And now the magazine was up the stairs, 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:17.320 is up the escalator and then to the left right, 0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:21.400 and I guess in getting up the escalator and walking 0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:24.479 into the magazines, I forgot what I was doing, and 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:26.800 I forgot that I was. She was with me, and 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:28.800 I went to the cafe and got in line to 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:31.520 get a coffee, and she was still next to me, 0:19:32.000 --> 0:19:34.959 and she was like standing next to me, and then 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.000 she goes, what are we doing? And I went what? 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:38.919 She goes, what are we doing? And I went, oh, 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:42.000 I forgot you were here? And she was like excuse me. 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:43.600 I said, I was going to get a coffee. Do 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.040 you want something? And she was like, I want that magazine. 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:49.200 And I remember saying to her, I'm sorry, my head's 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:54.159 not into that right now, and she was like, excuse me. 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:55.679 I go, I'm not going to be doing that. 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:59.200 I'm getting a coffee now because I didn't care, because 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:02.199 you couldn't fire me. They weren't. And I was just like, 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:05.480 I'd rather get fired than do what you want me 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:08.680 to do. And she couldn't get me to not get 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:11.200 a coffee and go get her magazine, and she lost 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:14.439 her mind. She don't you understand the rules? And I go, oh, 0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:15.240 there's no rules. 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:19.280 This is Barnes and Noble. This is the wild West 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:19.720 of retail. 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:20.040 Honey. 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:24.520 I'll do whatever I want. I am disposable. It's the 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:26.440 best feeling in the world is when you don't care. 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:30.160 If you can't. That's why the Internet's undefeated, because they 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:33.200 don't care. And when the second you care, the Internet 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:36.520 lights you up and they're like, oh, look who cares. 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:39.160 So Barbara streisand effect you know what that is, right? 0:20:39.560 --> 0:20:43.920 Barbara streisand a major, a very very very small magazine 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:46.440 took a picture of an aerial picture of her house 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:49.760 and said, take a look at Barbara Streisan's house. 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:51.920 Which I'm sure is be you at a fal gorgeous. 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:55.960 The Cliff's Malibu, and they posted it to their thirty 0:20:56.000 --> 0:21:00.240 thousand subscribers. Barbara streisand lost her mind. You have to 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:04.040 take that down now. And what in turn happened is 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:07.760 because she sued them, everyone was interested where does Barbarstreizan live? 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:11.560 And it became and now it's very common. Everyone knows 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:15.359 where her house is because she tried to stop the thing. 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:18.720 It's the most beautiful thing. You can't it's it's Mel 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:21.800 Robin's books. Let them, you can't control them. Let them. 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:24.040 By the way. 0:21:24.160 --> 0:21:24.560 I know that. 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:28.600 So she was on Two Bears with you, but but 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:29.440 Tom wasn't there. 0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:30.000 It was just you. 0:21:30.320 --> 0:21:32.160 Yeah, I don't know why. It wasn't a bird cast, 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:33.000 but it was a Two. 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:34.760 Bears A confusing. 0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:38.359 I like, just call this a bird I don't know 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:40.040 what we're doing here. 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:46.320 Yeah, yeah, dude, she's awesome, amazing, Like I know of 0:21:46.359 --> 0:21:49.600 her book, but I don't know anything about Mel Robbins. Dude. 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:53.720 She was like honestly and like maybe everybody knows her background. 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:56.000 I didn't know her background. I had no idea what 0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:58.439 her background was other than that she's got this let 0:21:58.520 --> 0:22:00.840 them theory, and I know what the I guess it's 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:01.480 pretty smart. 0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:06.920 But the stoicism in essence, it's but her what she's 0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:11.199 good at is redescribing it first, So it's digestible to 0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:12.080 a regular person. 0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:12.560 Right. 0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:15.800 Look when the second ago, Marcus Aurelius said, I tap out, 0:22:16.200 --> 0:22:17.960 and I'm like, I don't read books from three thousand 0:22:18.000 --> 0:22:21.359 years ago. Okay, I read books today today. 0:22:21.560 --> 0:22:23.399 What's the last book you read? 0:22:29.320 --> 0:22:29.800 I don't know. 0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:31.720 Oh well, no it was because you said I read 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:32.399 books today. 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:35.520 Oh I don't. Oh no, no, I'm so sorry. I 0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:37.240 don't read it all. Oh I'm so sorry. Let me 0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:40.600 start that over. Okay, Marcus, I don't read books at all. 0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:45.479 I don't try to. They were written in I really 0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:47.960 I remember I read the beginning of fly Boys, right, 0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:49.520 and then I couldn't read the rest of it. So 0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:51.320 I was like, I know the ending, we win. 0:22:56.320 --> 0:22:57.639 The wait, so where was I? 0:22:57.720 --> 0:22:57.920 Oh? 0:22:58.080 --> 0:23:00.399 But yes, you're right, it's like stoicis. But here's what 0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:01.399 I wanted to ask you. 0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:06.280 So when you were talking to mel Robbins RCE, you 0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:08.879 were talking to her, you said, I'm gonna set a scene. 0:23:10.119 --> 0:23:12.399 You were talking about drinking and having a drink to 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:14.800 find out what kind of person she was. And you said, 0:23:14.840 --> 0:23:17.480 I'm gonna set a scene and you tell me what 0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:21.879 you're gonna drink. And the scene was you say to 0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:25.240 her your best friend's dad just died. You go over 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:27.480 to sit with her? What are you drinking? 0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:28.480 Yeah? 0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:31.800 I was so pissed off at her answer was. 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:34.439 Her answer was, well, if it's my best friend, I 0:23:34.480 --> 0:23:36.520 know that what her father's favorite drink was, and we. 0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:38.359 Have that, and I'm gonna pour that and we're gonna 0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:40.440 sit and I'm gonna talk about all the great memories 0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:41.359 we have with her dad. 0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:44.840 Do you know any of your friend's dad's favorite drinks? 0:23:45.080 --> 0:23:48.240 Okay, hold on, The answer is no, My buddy, we 0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:52.280 jo his dad turns one hundred next week, and I 0:23:52.359 --> 0:23:55.920 do know his dad's favorite drink, but I think I don't. 0:23:56.000 --> 0:24:03.480 I don't like it. I don't know Tom's dad's favorite drink. 0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:06.600 But Tom doesn't drink, So I'm not gonna pour that, right, Yeah? 0:24:06.640 --> 0:24:08.120 No, No, what I want? 0:24:08.240 --> 0:24:08.480 Yeah? 0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:10.760 No, I heard dad and I was like, oh my god, 0:24:11.040 --> 0:24:13.520 nobody knows drink. 0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:17.639 But she was so like, well, if it's my best friend, clearly. 0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:17.919 I would know. 0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:20.000 And I was like, you are a much better person 0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:20.480 than I am. 0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:22.480 But she was, and she admits this. 0:24:22.560 --> 0:24:25.320 She was a pretty hardcore alcoholic for a period of time, 0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:28.080 for a long period time. That's the part I find 0:24:28.119 --> 0:24:31.639 sexy about her. Oh, she's hotter now than she was young. Oh, 0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:33.440 I've never seen a picture of her young. I saw 0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:35.280 her on the on the Two Bears thing with You 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:36.760 and No One. Oh she's beautiful. 0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:38.480 Yeah, no, she's a very attractive woman. 0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:40.879 But the I'm like where she was talking about, like 0:24:41.160 --> 0:24:43.600 she's like, oh, everybody because like she's such a self 0:24:43.600 --> 0:24:46.439 help person, but she's got the mouth of a sailor, 0:24:46.800 --> 0:24:49.240 and she's like, if I see the word dick, everybody 0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:51.440 flips out and goes crazy. Oh. 0:24:51.520 --> 0:24:53.120 I loved her. I thought it was great. 0:24:53.320 --> 0:24:55.320 But when she was talking about like back in the day, 0:24:55.560 --> 0:24:57.760 she would try to get back in the day, she 0:24:57.840 --> 0:25:00.280 was lunatic, and she was like, I would just on 0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:01.920 guys so they would break up with me, so it'd 0:25:01.960 --> 0:25:02.200 be there. 0:25:02.240 --> 0:25:04.280 But Birt's like, oh my god, we're the same person. 0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:08.000 I didn't say that, dude. That was so much easier 0:25:08.080 --> 0:25:10.440 than telling them my feelings. I remember the first girl 0:25:10.480 --> 0:25:12.560 I ever broke up with. This was a story I 0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:14.880 wanted to tell. Sometimes I like a story that's good, 0:25:15.080 --> 0:25:17.359 but it's not funny. But this is good and a 0:25:17.400 --> 0:25:20.240 little funny. I went to a yoga class. I was 0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:21.679 I woke up at like five in the morning and 0:25:21.680 --> 0:25:23.560 with anxiety about it. I wasn't living my life right 0:25:24.000 --> 0:25:26.320 in life everything about it. I wasn't working, I wasn't 0:25:26.359 --> 0:25:28.320 doing anything. I was in a relationship I did not 0:25:28.880 --> 0:25:31.280 have interested in. And my buddy Kroy called me randomly 0:25:31.320 --> 0:25:32.960 called me and said, hey, what are you doing? I 0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:34.879 said him up, I've been up since five, it's seven, 0:25:35.160 --> 0:25:36.639 and he goes, there's a yoga class at eight. Do 0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:37.679 you want to go with me? And I was like, 0:25:37.720 --> 0:25:39.919 I've never gone to yoga. He goes, let's go. So 0:25:39.960 --> 0:25:41.879 we go to the YMCA, We go to yoga and 0:25:41.960 --> 0:25:45.160 this stud I'm talking a gelding. 0:25:45.320 --> 0:25:47.640 Is that what that is? But it sounds right right. 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:53.160 Tat it up, great head of hair, great yawlne didn't 0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:55.920 groom his beard, but it looked perfect. 0:25:56.240 --> 0:25:56.680 Comes in. 0:25:57.480 --> 0:25:58.960 I have one of the best yoga classes I've ever 0:25:58.960 --> 0:26:01.120 had in my life, so my first one. And then 0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:02.879 in that moment where you're in child's pose whatever, and 0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:05.200 you're laying and he's doing his little speech. He says, 0:26:05.480 --> 0:26:07.320 this is your life. You can change whatever you want 0:26:07.320 --> 0:26:09.160 about your life and make it your life. Don't make 0:26:09.200 --> 0:26:12.080 your life someone else's life. Make it your life. Think 0:26:12.080 --> 0:26:14.640 about what you don't like right now. And immediately I went, 0:26:15.200 --> 0:26:18.600 this chick, I don't want to date her. I'm not 0:26:18.600 --> 0:26:19.960 going to marry her, and I don't want her in 0:26:19.960 --> 0:26:21.720 my life. I would sit in the car with her 0:26:21.760 --> 0:26:23.120 and I'd look at other cars and go, I wish 0:26:23.160 --> 0:26:25.880 I was in that car. I don't know if anyone 0:26:25.920 --> 0:26:28.080 feels like that, but it's like it's a terrifying feeling. 0:26:28.840 --> 0:26:31.720 And he said, you can change that today and I 0:26:31.760 --> 0:26:34.560 went ugh. And he heard me say that. So at 0:26:34.560 --> 0:26:36.120 the end of class he walks up to me. He goes, hey, man, 0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:38.160 when I was saying about the thing about your life, 0:26:38.240 --> 0:26:40.000 you made a noise. I was like yeah, and he 0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:41.520 was like, what is it? I said, what do you mean? 0:26:41.760 --> 0:26:44.040 Here's what is the thing you don't like? I went, oh, 0:26:44.119 --> 0:26:47.320 it's nothing. Who tells me? He was I'm a friend. 0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:49.600 Am I gonna judge you? And I go, it's this girl? 0:26:50.240 --> 0:26:51.719 He's what, So I'm in a relationship I don't want 0:26:51.760 --> 0:26:53.320 to be in And he goes, what's your name? I 0:26:53.359 --> 0:26:56.480 said Rachel and he goes, he's it's your phone and 0:26:56.560 --> 0:26:58.760 he grabs my phone and he opens it up and 0:26:58.760 --> 0:27:00.960 he's her number. I said yea, and he texts her, 0:27:01.400 --> 0:27:03.000 let's have dinner to night. We have to talk. I'm 0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:05.120 not happy and he hits and he goes, you're breaking 0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:11.880 up with her to night? And I go what. He goes, Hey, 0:27:12.119 --> 0:27:14.439 I've already started it. I've already started it. Do you 0:27:14.440 --> 0:27:16.320 feel the weight off your should of your shoulders? You're 0:27:16.320 --> 0:27:18.399 breaking up with her tonight? And he goes, all you 0:27:18.440 --> 0:27:20.520 have to do is finish right, I've already started, and 0:27:20.560 --> 0:27:22.520 your life is changing and you get to have the 0:27:22.560 --> 0:27:24.240 life you want. That's what I was talking about. And 0:27:24.280 --> 0:27:26.639 I went, I'm breaking up with her and Croy was like, 0:27:26.640 --> 0:27:27.720 break up with her? And I was like, I'm gonna 0:27:27.720 --> 0:27:29.320 break up with her? And then like where are you 0:27:29.320 --> 0:27:30.880 taking her dinner? I go, yeah, my hiro, it's my 0:27:30.880 --> 0:27:33.280 favorite restaurant. I'm breaking up there. I want on a hike. 0:27:33.440 --> 0:27:39.840 It's the day that done and and uh, wish you 0:27:40.000 --> 0:27:47.080 were here? Wish you do? You know what's all I'm going. 0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:49.760 That's the day that album came out. I bought that album. 0:27:49.880 --> 0:27:52.280 I went for a hike and I said, I'm changing 0:27:52.320 --> 0:27:54.720 my life. I take her to dinner. Should I pick 0:27:54.760 --> 0:27:56.879 her up? She's like, wow, we have a lot to 0:27:56.880 --> 0:27:58.400 talk about. And I was like, y yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:28:00.080 --> 0:28:02.159 you get down. I sit down at the table and 0:28:02.160 --> 0:28:03.960 I'm like, I'm building it all up. I'm now like 0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:06.720 a cup prize fighter. And I go, I'm not happy. 0:28:06.720 --> 0:28:09.960 I want to end this relationship. She was like okay, 0:28:10.240 --> 0:28:13.680 and I went yeah. She goes yeah, I mean I'd 0:28:13.720 --> 0:28:15.240 love to hear more. And then the lady comes up 0:28:15.240 --> 0:28:17.000 and goes, hi, can I get you? Has something to drink? 0:28:17.000 --> 0:28:18.920 And I realize I should have done this At the end, 0:28:20.240 --> 0:28:23.399 I'm gonna sit with her for now an hour, I 0:28:23.600 --> 0:28:24.919 just broke up with her. I should have done this. 0:28:25.040 --> 0:28:29.200 Middle dinner appetizers would have been good appetizers. Place our orders, 0:28:29.200 --> 0:28:32.760 then break up, food comes, we're out. Oh my god, 0:28:33.119 --> 0:28:36.119 it's the longest dinner. I could not end it, and 0:28:36.160 --> 0:28:38.320 then I felt bad, so I kept letting it go on. 0:28:39.400 --> 0:28:42.800 But man, I love a good story like that. 0:28:42.920 --> 0:28:45.520 No, that's great, that's awesome, that's awesome. All right, let 0:28:45.560 --> 0:28:49.880 me do this. Give me a quick break, dude. 0:28:49.880 --> 0:28:52.640 I was hiking Runyon Canyon. They had just come out, 0:28:52.920 --> 0:28:56.160 the sun's out, and I'm just like this, there's a 0:28:56.240 --> 0:28:59.200 new bird coming. There's a girl out there. And she's 0:28:59.240 --> 0:29:01.760 waiting for me. I'm gonna be skinny, I'm gonna have 0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:04.040 all my hair and my teeth will look good. I'm 0:29:04.040 --> 0:29:06.720 gonna I'm gonna bait and swicks her. I'm gonna get 0:29:06.720 --> 0:29:09.080 her pregnant, and then I'm gonna have a great career. 0:29:10.840 --> 0:29:14.440 And Leanne was just sitting and knows her. She was like, man, 0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:23.960 I'm wanna hope I bet my cat today. This is like, 0:29:24.200 --> 0:29:26.280 this is a different world. This is during MTV cribs. 0:29:26.600 --> 0:29:28.120 This is I should do a shot. Do we have 0:29:28.120 --> 0:29:30.560 any hard liquor? I wanna do a shot? 0:29:31.600 --> 0:29:31.840 Yes? 0:29:32.000 --> 0:29:34.080 Actually yeah, Thrashers has got this. 0:29:34.160 --> 0:29:34.640 We got thre. 0:29:36.760 --> 0:29:37.400 What are we doing? 0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:39.640 What are we doing? You've only had one job. You 0:29:39.680 --> 0:29:42.600 have no idea what's going on. He's had one job 0:29:42.840 --> 0:29:45.880 in twenty years. You've had one job. Yes, and they're crazy. 0:29:46.440 --> 0:29:49.520 Isn't that bizarre? You're like, you're like a Mormon who 0:29:49.560 --> 0:29:52.280 married his high school sweetheart and you've never had your 0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.800 rum spring up. You should go work for other radio 0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:57.760 shows for one spring that you should do a rum 0:29:57.800 --> 0:29:59.960 springer with him, where you go to other radio shows 0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:02.080 and he's gotta work on a hip hop stations. I 0:30:02.160 --> 0:30:06.840 mean like yo, yo, yo, yo yo, We're back. Tarlath 0:30:06.920 --> 0:30:10.400 Crador is in here, and you're gonna be like, what 0:30:10.560 --> 0:30:17.360 what up? Put some respect on my name. So this 0:30:17.440 --> 0:30:21.640 song represents so much to me. Clearly, someone who heard 0:30:21.640 --> 0:30:24.600 that story and applies it in their life. I hope 0:30:24.600 --> 0:30:27.160 their friends sitting next to them just and grab their 0:30:27.960 --> 0:30:31.480 and just just Texas and their boss. I quit. I'm 0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:32.280 gonna be a DJ. 0:30:35.240 --> 0:30:37.320 You're living your life. You've got a great light. 0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:38.520 That's true. 0:30:38.840 --> 0:30:42.320 Yeah, there's people right now not living their dream. Sure, 0:30:42.400 --> 0:30:50.000 and they should hear this song and then go you 0:30:50.080 --> 0:30:52.719 can have what I have. I'm being dead serious. I 0:30:52.840 --> 0:30:58.720 just I just took stupid gambles. You just need to 0:30:58.800 --> 0:31:02.479 roll the dice responsibly. Break up with that person. Hey, 0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:04.200 it's not there, you're not there, so what dialogue? 0:31:04.200 --> 0:31:04.600 Who cares? 0:31:05.160 --> 0:31:07.200 We don't die anyway. You can't have the world here. 0:31:07.240 --> 0:31:09.000 You might as well die alone or search for the 0:31:09.000 --> 0:31:12.240 perfect person. Right, get the job you want. Stop what 0:31:12.240 --> 0:31:14.480 are you doing? You just pulled up? Stop? Stop stop 0:31:14.520 --> 0:31:16.920 the car. Don't don't turn the car off yet. Stay 0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:19.960 in the car. Text your boss and say my head's 0:31:20.080 --> 0:31:24.200 just not that into it today and go home. Go 0:31:24.280 --> 0:31:28.840 to a buffalo wild wings. They're always good. Don't let 0:31:29.360 --> 0:31:31.120 them control you. This is your life when you're on 0:31:31.120 --> 0:31:33.440 your death bed, are you gonna go like? Man, I 0:31:33.480 --> 0:31:41.880 hope sit a bank? I don't even know what AT is. 0:31:41.880 --> 0:31:44.280 Isn't that s I t I A B C city bank, 0:31:44.360 --> 0:31:51.240 A city city? That city? I hope city city bank. 0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:56.160 Why woudn't they put the E on there? Sit? You 0:31:56.200 --> 0:31:58.920 should text your boss and go, bro, we spelt it wrong. 0:31:59.720 --> 0:31:59.880 Quit. 0:32:01.400 --> 0:32:04.000 That's the thing. No one in your corporate job. And 0:32:04.040 --> 0:32:05.800 I know you needed to pay bills because you got 0:32:05.920 --> 0:32:06.680 kids in college. 0:32:06.760 --> 0:32:09.080 Some people really like that. 0:32:08.680 --> 0:32:13.240 People. I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to I'm 0:32:13.240 --> 0:32:15.640 talking to the dude with fire on his feet, who's like, 0:32:15.760 --> 0:32:17.240 Who's like, this isn't me? Man? 0:32:17.720 --> 0:32:19.040 This I got wild stuff. 0:32:19.080 --> 0:32:21.200 I want to say I learned the code of a 0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:23.200 bathroom and they go one, two, four, and I go, 0:32:23.760 --> 0:32:25.440 I want to say two, what's the four? But I 0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:30.760 don't want to get fired. Live in the now. One 0:32:31.200 --> 0:32:35.720 by the way, yeah, it is a shot a vodka. 0:32:36.000 --> 0:32:37.640 And guess whose guests has one? 0:32:37.680 --> 0:32:39.120 Also, I'm sorry one more time. 0:32:39.280 --> 0:32:41.280 I don't know. I don't know. 0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:44.200 I'm living my life. I'm living my life I am. 0:32:44.320 --> 0:32:48.120 When I die, I hope people say that it ended 0:32:48.120 --> 0:32:52.360 the whole world. I'll tell you what I'd like to do, 0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:54.960 because I like to have access to the button and 0:32:56.200 --> 0:32:59.920 me make the call and just be about to die. 0:33:00.120 --> 0:33:03.480 Be like everyone, don't forget my name and then put 0:33:03.480 --> 0:33:08.600 my hand off it. 0:33:08.720 --> 0:33:13.480 Don't get me. What is this. 0:33:19.920 --> 0:33:22.680 To do it? 0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:25.120 It's the decisions you make in your life. 0:33:27.280 --> 0:33:28.360 Like, look, I think a lot of. 0:33:28.280 --> 0:33:31.040 Stuffs put up to luck, right, obviously, I think luck's 0:33:31.080 --> 0:33:33.680 a huge thing in life. Okay, I think it's crazy 0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:36.560 that the things that happened. But sometimes you just gotta 0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:37.959 pull the trigger, like people do. I want to get 0:33:38.000 --> 0:33:38.760 in the stand up? What do I do? 0:33:38.800 --> 0:33:40.480 I go do it? Just do it? I did it 0:33:41.960 --> 0:33:42.960 and I am rich? 0:33:43.160 --> 0:33:47.280 Like I am rich. Do you go home to wash 0:33:47.320 --> 0:33:51.240 Cross and you know why? And it's when I was 0:33:51.240 --> 0:33:55.760 broke and I was stupid. I won't try that, dude. 0:33:56.280 --> 0:33:57.800 I am I am a I am a I am 0:33:57.800 --> 0:34:01.960 a minor. I am a gold digging miner. But you 0:34:02.080 --> 0:34:03.800 got to move out to the hills and look like 0:34:03.800 --> 0:34:06.920 a lunatic for ten years before you walk back into 0:34:06.920 --> 0:34:10.880 the city with a pocketful of goals. Rogan let's just 0:34:10.920 --> 0:34:14.920 do Joe Rogan right, undersized right, and let's just say 0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:20.840 undersized right. Uh Taekwondo champion of the worlds right meathead Meathhead, 0:34:21.680 --> 0:34:24.600 one of the most brilliant podcasters alive. Do you know 0:34:24.640 --> 0:34:28.480 who believed in Joe? Joe? Joe believes in Joe. He 0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:30.879 had wild confidence in a in a horse that wasn't 0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:34.200 supposed to win the race? Right ever? Ever, Dude, this, 0:34:34.280 --> 0:34:37.120 I got on this horse. You think you think Seabiscuit 0:34:37.200 --> 0:34:42.600 was a loser. Dude, I got on this horse ugly, 0:34:43.840 --> 0:34:48.160 no confidence, said really inappropriate stuff, and I was like, 0:34:48.239 --> 0:34:48.719 I was like. 0:34:49.040 --> 0:34:53.120 Yeah, but didn't you almost you almost quit along the way? 0:34:54.719 --> 0:34:55.520 Didn't you almost quit? 0:34:55.600 --> 0:34:56.600 Stand up at one point? 0:34:56.800 --> 0:34:56.960 No? 0:34:57.440 --> 0:35:00.560 Never mind, all right, give me a quick break, go ahead, 0:35:00.600 --> 0:35:02.080 burn nice cheers? 0:35:02.560 --> 0:35:03.960 Can Diane do a nice cheers for you? 0:35:04.520 --> 0:35:07.640 Yes? 0:35:13.239 --> 0:35:14.120 Throwing up real quickly? 0:35:19.320 --> 0:35:25.200 Take hold on it? Could you? Could you like Leannoy's 0:35:25.200 --> 0:35:30.640 goes uh? If I get into a wheelchair and if 0:35:30.719 --> 0:35:35.680 I'm disciple, could you keep stay married to me, take 0:35:35.719 --> 0:35:39.840 care of me, wipe me if I need white honey. 0:35:39.920 --> 0:35:43.960 If you had just a bridge in your teeth a slipper, 0:35:44.040 --> 0:35:45.480 like if you had I would. 0:35:45.600 --> 0:35:47.880 I would leave you, Like if. 0:35:47.760 --> 0:35:50.560 You had fake teeth, if you had dentures, I would 0:35:50.640 --> 0:35:53.880 leave you. Let's break your arm and and let's have 0:35:53.920 --> 0:35:57.920 a conversation. I think we're talking pretty aggressive about a 0:35:58.040 --> 0:36:02.279 wheel a wheelchair? You, I mean Koma I could deal 0:36:02.320 --> 0:36:06.480 with right. Coloma would be fun. Alma would be fun. 0:36:06.680 --> 0:36:10.760 No, give me a good cheer, Okay, sugar in the bowl, 0:36:11.560 --> 0:36:14.799 coffee in the cup, aim for the butt, won't knock 0:36:14.800 --> 0:36:23.799 her up. Wow, I've been waiting on that one, like burt'spear. 0:36:23.920 --> 0:36:24.359 What the hell? 0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:29.040 That's a fun game. Start me, just say, start me, 0:36:29.040 --> 0:36:30.480 and I'll see if I can finish it. 0:36:30.520 --> 0:36:31.440 Burt, start me? 0:36:31.680 --> 0:36:35.080 No, No, oh, I'm sorry. Give me a just give 0:36:35.080 --> 0:36:36.480 me a first line. Sugar in the bowl, give me 0:36:36.520 --> 0:36:38.240 something like that. I'll see if I can finish it. 0:36:39.080 --> 0:36:40.360 Oh my god, I got nothing. 0:36:40.400 --> 0:36:45.479 I got just a monkey in the car. Don't mess 0:36:45.560 --> 0:36:50.480 with me. They call me King talk. I love it. 0:36:50.520 --> 0:36:53.279 I love this game. I love that it's starting an analogy. 0:36:53.600 --> 0:36:56.640 I love a good analogy. Like if someone goes, that's 0:36:56.719 --> 0:36:58.839 it's my favorite thing to do. Is I go. It's 0:36:58.880 --> 0:37:02.680 like the singing of the Annapolis six or whatever whatever 0:37:03.760 --> 0:37:04.319 is that a race. 0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:08.040 It's bigger now, all right, give me I have to 0:37:08.080 --> 0:37:11.600 take a break, all right, give me a I hope 0:37:11.600 --> 0:37:12.359 you quit your job. 0:37:12.880 --> 0:37:15.160 I hope you're still in your car. By the way, 0:37:15.560 --> 0:37:17.160 if you quit your job, you text me. I got 0:37:17.160 --> 0:37:19.759 free tickets for you tonight. That's what I do. That's 0:37:19.800 --> 0:37:22.920 what I do. I'm in Baltimore. Yes, that's what I do. 0:37:23.440 --> 0:37:26.880 If you you I like the idea. 0:37:27.239 --> 0:37:28.600 Can I be the guy in the car? Can I 0:37:28.640 --> 0:37:30.840 be the guy in the car? I like the idea 0:37:30.880 --> 0:37:32.600 of doing that. I just don't know how to text you. 0:37:32.640 --> 0:37:33.480 I don't have your number. 0:37:33.480 --> 0:37:36.320 Bert, Okay, Kyle, what's your number? 0:37:38.239 --> 0:37:38.520 Hey? 0:37:38.560 --> 0:37:38.799 Are you? 0:37:38.920 --> 0:37:40.480 Are you happy that I have not brought up the 0:37:40.480 --> 0:37:41.719 fact that you're not from Baltimore? 0:37:41.880 --> 0:37:49.640 Then I have to take it, all right, give me 0:37:49.640 --> 0:37:50.239 a quick break. 0:37:50.239 --> 0:37:51.160 It's Elliot in the morning. 0:37:51.680 --> 0:37:53.240 Elliott in the morning. 0:37:57.760 --> 0:37:58.480 Okay, it's. 0:38:00.120 --> 0:38:03.960 Time. You know. He never replied to emails. He told 0:38:04.000 --> 0:38:06.239 me one time, that's the least favorite part of my job, 0:38:07.680 --> 0:38:09.600 and she goes, that's like the most important thing you have, 0:38:09.680 --> 0:38:12.680 and I don't like doing it. 0:38:14.520 --> 0:38:17.080 Bert Kreischer is with us the permission to Party World 0:38:17.120 --> 0:38:21.040 Tour tonight, CFG Bank Arena in Baltimore Sunday the Altree 0:38:21.040 --> 0:38:22.080 of Theater in Richmond. 0:38:22.160 --> 0:38:23.879 You didn't cancel her she for me, did you? 0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:23.960 No? 0:38:24.040 --> 0:38:26.480 I didn't come on damn it. 0:38:26.800 --> 0:38:30.840 They're paying me in chocolate and listen now I regret 0:38:30.840 --> 0:38:33.960 it on this. What is it with alcohol that if 0:38:33.960 --> 0:38:36.400 you have one shot, it just says we should have two, right, 0:38:36.480 --> 0:38:40.240 d one more, one more, just just just for the soldiers, 0:38:40.239 --> 0:38:40.520 for the. 0:38:40.440 --> 0:38:44.759 Troops, for the troops. Veterans Day this week it was 0:38:44.840 --> 0:38:50.840 it was Veterans Day? Right, how's your blood pressure? No, 0:38:50.920 --> 0:38:51.520 I'm being serious. 0:38:51.600 --> 0:38:51.960 Is it good? 0:38:52.040 --> 0:38:54.040 That's great? I get I go to a doctor too 0:38:54.120 --> 0:38:54.680 much to die? 0:38:55.960 --> 0:38:56.920 Well, I'm not as well. 0:38:57.200 --> 0:39:00.480 Yeah, it's a oh actually actually on to it was 0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:03.759 a little elevated this time. But he's like, and my 0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:06.080 blood was thick, right, And he was like, I think 0:39:06.120 --> 0:39:09.160 you're on too much testosterone. He was like, it wouldn't 0:39:09.200 --> 0:39:11.680 tell you to give some blood, right, and you know 0:39:11.719 --> 0:39:13.040 we'll see it empty out. No. 0:39:13.160 --> 0:39:16.320 The only reason I asked is no. 0:39:18.120 --> 0:39:21.080 I have a slight issue to buy a cuff. To 0:39:21.080 --> 0:39:22.759 buy a cuff this week, to test it home every 0:39:22.760 --> 0:39:23.239 single day? 0:39:23.280 --> 0:39:24.160 What is your blood preser? 0:39:24.200 --> 0:39:29.960 I was approaching one fifty for this histolic number. That's 0:39:29.960 --> 0:39:30.560 why I was. 0:39:30.880 --> 0:39:33.640 I was hesitant when you asked me if I was 0:39:33.680 --> 0:39:34.840 living a great life. 0:39:36.160 --> 0:39:36.719 What's bad? 0:39:38.160 --> 0:39:40.000 Really? Are you on anything? 0:39:40.520 --> 0:39:43.840 I have to test for four weeks and then decide. 0:39:44.200 --> 0:39:46.080 Sweet, your lifestyle is perfect? 0:39:47.360 --> 0:39:47.839 What is it? 0:39:48.000 --> 0:39:48.160 Well? 0:39:48.239 --> 0:39:51.200 I know you were talking about the job. It is 0:39:51.239 --> 0:39:53.120 a stressful environment. 0:39:56.600 --> 0:39:57.080 Once again. 0:39:57.320 --> 0:39:58.480 You want to have your rum springer. 0:39:58.680 --> 0:40:01.799 I'll give you, Kyle, and I'll take you and you'll 0:40:01.800 --> 0:40:02.759 see what stress is. 0:40:03.600 --> 0:40:08.759 Do you have any idea what stress you Stress can 0:40:08.800 --> 0:40:09.600 add to blood pressure? 0:40:09.800 --> 0:40:15.920 I have crazy stress. Den Hey to stress, stress to stress? 0:40:16.040 --> 0:40:16.880 What's your stress? 0:40:18.120 --> 0:40:18.960 Are you being serious? 0:40:19.920 --> 0:40:22.480 You get on this is his thing. He doesn't believe 0:40:22.520 --> 0:40:23.560 anybody is stressed. 0:40:26.560 --> 0:40:28.560 You get on a bus. You get on a bus. 0:40:28.800 --> 0:40:30.200 Let's start. Let's start here, right. 0:40:30.640 --> 0:40:32.600 But I'm not I'm not taking but could we eliminate 0:40:32.640 --> 0:40:34.799 one part of it. I'm not saying that you don't 0:40:34.840 --> 0:40:35.360 work hard. 0:40:35.680 --> 0:40:41.759 I'm I'm not saying. I'm not explaining that. I'm not 0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:42.080 I'm not. 0:40:42.160 --> 0:40:44.840 I'm not saying that you don't create that that you 0:40:44.840 --> 0:40:47.000 don't create something that people like and find funny. 0:40:47.239 --> 0:40:50.560 I'm not that that's that's your job. Yes, Okay, all 0:40:50.640 --> 0:40:53.040 right now, I'm gonna this is really in the weeds. 0:40:53.160 --> 0:40:55.759 So if you're on the fence of liking me, I 0:40:55.800 --> 0:40:58.839 would hang I would hang up. Right now, I'm gonna 0:40:58.840 --> 0:41:00.879 tell you more than I should ever tell anyone. Okay, 0:41:00.880 --> 0:41:04.080 I'm explaining how stress works. Okay, So right now I'm 0:41:04.120 --> 0:41:06.560 on an arena tour. Yeakay. So I've been doing the 0:41:06.680 --> 0:41:09.799 I did theater tours like three years ago. Three years ago, 0:41:09.840 --> 0:41:12.160 I went to arena tours. And the first time you 0:41:12.200 --> 0:41:15.920 do it, when you do a theater, this is the stress. 0:41:15.680 --> 0:41:18.839 Just for example, So it used to be clubs, right, 0:41:18.920 --> 0:41:21.440 So you start out, you're doing clubs, You're doing you're 0:41:21.480 --> 0:41:21.680 doing that. 0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:24.799 I met you, there was zero stress because, yeah, the 0:41:24.960 --> 0:41:28.839 DC improv I was getting paid three thousand dollars, fifteen 0:41:28.880 --> 0:41:31.880 hundred dollars, seventeen hundred dollars, and they were taking the 0:41:31.880 --> 0:41:33.719 manager had all the stress, right, they were taking the 0:41:33.760 --> 0:41:36.880 chance on me, and I did well here and then 0:41:36.960 --> 0:41:37.839 all of a sudden. 0:41:37.600 --> 0:41:39.600 But the theater becomes like Warner Theater. 0:41:39.920 --> 0:41:43.279 But let's yeah, very clear. So if you do one 0:41:43.360 --> 0:41:46.160 show in a theater, you're not making very much money. Okay, 0:41:46.239 --> 0:41:49.920 if you do two in a theater, you're making crazy money. Okay, 0:41:50.040 --> 0:41:51.960 So what you have to do when you do a theater, 0:41:52.000 --> 0:41:53.480 when you do the Warner Theater, and I apologize to 0:41:53.480 --> 0:41:56.719 the Warner Theater, which is a great theater, but that 0:41:56.760 --> 0:41:58.480 one show, if you do one show, you've got to 0:41:58.480 --> 0:42:00.839 pay for the curtain, the stool, the mind. You've got 0:42:00.880 --> 0:42:03.440 to rent everything from them. They really have the upside 0:42:03.440 --> 0:42:05.960 because they're taking the thing. If you do two shows, 0:42:06.000 --> 0:42:08.480 you've already rented all that stuff, and then the lion's 0:42:08.480 --> 0:42:10.440 share of the money for that second show goes to you. 0:42:10.719 --> 0:42:12.719 So let's just I'm gonna give you crazy numbers. These 0:42:12.719 --> 0:42:15.000 aren't real Warner Theater, these are not real numbers. If 0:42:15.000 --> 0:42:17.040 you do one show at the Warner Theater, maybe, uh 0:42:17.440 --> 0:42:20.839 say you're Christs SEVENO comes into the water. 0:42:20.920 --> 0:42:21.680 Who's on the Water Theater. 0:42:21.719 --> 0:42:24.000 I'd love to promote them Dan Soder, Ryan Soder comes 0:42:24.040 --> 0:42:24.680 into the Water Theater. 0:42:24.840 --> 0:42:27.000 Let you say, Chris, I like Chris, Chris I love 0:42:27.120 --> 0:42:28.080 if he does one show. 0:42:28.120 --> 0:42:29.279 Feel comfortable enough to smoke? 0:42:29.320 --> 0:42:33.000 Oh yes, damn smoke weed in here, that's right here. Yeah. 0:42:33.080 --> 0:42:34.719 If you do one show at the Warner Theater, you 0:42:34.800 --> 0:42:37.120 make probably twenty thousand dollars. 0:42:37.200 --> 0:42:38.919 Is that is that a real number or fake number? 0:42:39.200 --> 0:42:39.920 I'll tell you right now. 0:42:39.960 --> 0:42:40.320 I did. 0:42:40.520 --> 0:42:42.759 I did the Wilbur my first time I did it. 0:42:42.800 --> 0:42:44.600 I made twelve thousand dollars for doing one show with 0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:47.320 the Wilber. Okay. I did two shows at the Wilber 0:42:47.600 --> 0:42:50.800 and I walked with fifty two thousand dollars. Oh okay. 0:42:50.800 --> 0:42:52.279 So I was like, I was like, wait, the second 0:42:52.280 --> 0:42:53.640 show I made more money than the first show, And 0:42:53.640 --> 0:42:56.080 they're like, yeah, it's because you've already paid all the bills. Right, 0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:57.920 So if you can do if you go on a 0:42:57.960 --> 0:43:00.200 theater tour, your stresses, I need to sell more than 0:43:00.200 --> 0:43:04.080 one show. I'm doing one show. I'm kind of breaking even, right. 0:43:04.280 --> 0:43:06.000 I mean, you're still making twelve grand, but. 0:43:06.239 --> 0:43:08.960 You know, maybe maybe if you stayed in the clubs, 0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:12.320 you would have made more with bonuses and adding shows. 0:43:12.600 --> 0:43:14.480 So you want to do two in theaters. Once you 0:43:14.480 --> 0:43:16.799 start doing two in theaters, the stresses do I go 0:43:16.800 --> 0:43:17.520 to a bigger theater? 0:43:17.600 --> 0:43:21.000 Do I go to Arena Constitution? 0:43:21.480 --> 0:43:23.880 I think SIT's thirty five? And then once again you're 0:43:23.920 --> 0:43:25.760 with that stress of can I do two in this place? 0:43:25.920 --> 0:43:29.960 Because that first one pays the soul. But I need 0:43:30.000 --> 0:43:34.480 the money to pay my tour bus, my openers and travel, 0:43:35.120 --> 0:43:38.799 and then you do arenas now. And I'm not complaining. 0:43:38.840 --> 0:43:42.200 I'm just explaining what stress is. Before you start an 0:43:42.200 --> 0:43:44.719 arena tour, they say, Yo, you want to make sure 0:43:44.719 --> 0:43:47.200 your fans have a good time, so that you need 0:43:47.239 --> 0:43:49.600 to have production. You need to have a great stage, 0:43:49.880 --> 0:43:53.560 you need to have a great led package. You need 0:43:53.600 --> 0:43:56.360 great lighting. We need a lighting designer to design your lighting. 0:43:56.560 --> 0:43:59.040 We need a smoke designer. We need a designer to 0:43:59.040 --> 0:44:01.800 come in off the top of an arena tour for 0:44:01.840 --> 0:44:04.439 a three month arena tour. You're paying three point five 0:44:04.480 --> 0:44:07.560 million dollars out of your own pocket to start to 0:44:07.600 --> 0:44:10.080 do an arena tour. You have to then recoup that 0:44:10.160 --> 0:44:11.480 three point five million dollars. 0:44:11.480 --> 0:44:13.080 Can't you just turn the lights down, put a spotlight 0:44:13.120 --> 0:44:14.000 on you, and walk out there. 0:44:14.400 --> 0:44:19.920 I've done that. You'd be shocked how unenjoyable that is. 0:44:20.800 --> 0:44:21.239 I did it. 0:44:21.400 --> 0:44:23.840 I did it one time where the speakers were on 0:44:23.880 --> 0:44:26.440 the floor. I'm being done serious. So I was like, 0:44:26.440 --> 0:44:28.680 I'm not paying the money. My first tongue of arena 0:44:28.719 --> 0:44:32.319 tour was so bad that I was like watching people 0:44:32.440 --> 0:44:34.719 go like this is horrible. And so I went to 0:44:34.760 --> 0:44:36.680 the team and I was like, Yo, how do I 0:44:36.680 --> 0:44:38.719 get this better? And They're like, you need to if 0:44:38.719 --> 0:44:40.200 you want to do an arena tour, if you want 0:44:40.200 --> 0:44:42.640 to be an arena comic, be an arena comic, do 0:44:42.680 --> 0:44:47.600 it right, make it great. Prostitute then so now we're 0:44:47.600 --> 0:44:49.879 talking about stress, right. So I'm on an arena tour 0:44:50.000 --> 0:44:55.080 and I'll be doing that in perpetuity. I'm trying to 0:44:55.360 --> 0:44:58.360 do theaters in twenty twenty six only because I'm getting 0:44:58.360 --> 0:44:59.960 ready for a special and I need to do two 0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:02.239 in a night to get my get sharp, right. That's 0:45:02.320 --> 0:45:04.560 the main reason I'm doing theaters, and it's a lot 0:45:04.640 --> 0:45:07.879 less stress, right. But I want you to know I've 0:45:07.880 --> 0:45:12.759 already paid for this three semis filled with staging gear. 0:45:12.840 --> 0:45:15.640 I have twelve eighteen people on staff that I've paid for. 0:45:15.680 --> 0:45:18.240 I've paid for them for three months. They've got jobs. 0:45:18.560 --> 0:45:20.799 But that's the stress. And then and then I have 0:45:20.840 --> 0:45:23.560 a cruise. We just put a cruise on sale. I 0:45:23.640 --> 0:45:26.200 have a project I have not named yet that's coming 0:45:26.200 --> 0:45:29.560 out the night before the Daytona five hundred, which I 0:45:29.600 --> 0:45:30.520 think you would really love. 0:45:31.120 --> 0:45:33.640 That is we love to be a part of one 0:45:33.719 --> 0:45:36.360 hundred percent, Like, is this an invite? 0:45:36.480 --> 0:45:38.239 It's one hundred percent of an invite? Well, I could 0:45:38.239 --> 0:45:39.920 be part of it one hundred percent. 0:45:39.960 --> 0:45:40.879 Do I have to quit my job? 0:45:41.000 --> 0:45:41.200 Nope? 0:45:41.320 --> 0:45:43.200 Okay, I'm in and you're gonna love it. 0:45:43.440 --> 0:45:45.400 But I have this project with partners that I've have 0:45:45.440 --> 0:45:49.360 accrued that have invested money in me to produce this 0:45:49.440 --> 0:45:52.160 I have I do. You don't have to invest any money. 0:45:52.200 --> 0:45:54.799 They've party done it. I have a TV show that 0:45:54.920 --> 0:45:57.000 comes out in the beginning of the year that I 0:45:57.000 --> 0:45:57.359 did with. 0:45:57.320 --> 0:45:59.359 Netflix January twenty second. I have I have. 0:45:59.320 --> 0:46:03.560 A Castler, Yeah, I have. I have. I'm working. I 0:46:03.600 --> 0:46:06.399 can't really say exactly what I'm doing, but I'm working 0:46:06.480 --> 0:46:09.319 Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, which have not been 0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:11.400 announced yet. But if you figure out I'm working on 0:46:11.480 --> 0:46:14.000 Christmas Day and you live in DC, you can probably 0:46:14.000 --> 0:46:16.400 figure out what I'm doing. Are you doing the Christmas 0:46:16.400 --> 0:46:16.960 street lighting? 0:46:17.640 --> 0:46:18.839 Did you do this last year? 0:46:18.920 --> 0:46:19.160 Yeah? 0:46:19.360 --> 0:46:20.839 So so? 0:46:21.160 --> 0:46:23.480 But wait, what did he do last year on Christmas? 0:46:23.680 --> 0:46:25.400 I'm taking another shot on the podcast say it. 0:46:25.440 --> 0:46:27.440 If he's gonna get in trouble, well he already did it. 0:46:28.000 --> 0:46:29.520 You can figure it out anyway. 0:46:29.719 --> 0:46:33.120 Anyway, anyway, I have a staff of fifteen employees, I 0:46:33.160 --> 0:46:37.359 have three podcasts, I have ad sales sponsors. I'm trying 0:46:37.360 --> 0:46:38.800 to create an underwear line. 0:46:38.719 --> 0:46:41.960 Right like all these things you're in the skims thing. 0:46:41.920 --> 0:46:47.239 Oh buddy, I got I decided to go rogue. I'm 0:46:47.280 --> 0:46:51.320 making basically a pantyhose for men. I like the thinnest. 0:46:52.000 --> 0:46:54.360 They're so comfortable, but they may be too gay, right, 0:46:54.840 --> 0:46:57.040 make them here than two weeks. I'm gonna make them. 0:46:57.080 --> 0:46:59.640 I'm sending my friends and goes this like turn you 0:46:59.680 --> 0:47:03.040 on too much? Like so like the thing is, I 0:47:03.560 --> 0:47:06.480 should have never got ambitious. Second I got ambitious? 0:47:06.760 --> 0:47:07.160 Can I can? 0:47:07.200 --> 0:47:09.279 I can I play Devil's accocate advocate for a second, 0:47:09.480 --> 0:47:11.799 because somebody who's got like a like like like real 0:47:11.840 --> 0:47:14.080 stress is going like, oh god, it must be so 0:47:14.080 --> 0:47:16.080 stressful to try to decide whether I want to spend 0:47:16.120 --> 0:47:17.759 three point five million dollars. 0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:19.360 Or that's a no hango with that. But it's not 0:47:20.040 --> 0:47:22.359 there's no deciding. It's already been decided, so you have 0:47:22.440 --> 0:47:24.600 to do it. So like no, I understand that, Like, 0:47:25.080 --> 0:47:27.080 but it's like gambling on yourself, and then you gamble 0:47:27.080 --> 0:47:29.600 on yourself, like there's a dude. 0:47:29.680 --> 0:47:30.800 There's a dude still sitting. 0:47:30.600 --> 0:47:31.880 In his car deciding whether or not to quit his 0:47:31.960 --> 0:47:34.080 job going I I don't care about any of this. Bert. 0:47:34.280 --> 0:47:36.360 There's are all the decisions you made, now I understand, 0:47:36.400 --> 0:47:38.520 but I made them to try to get to the 0:47:38.560 --> 0:47:40.640 next level. I love what I do and I want 0:47:40.800 --> 0:47:43.799 to provide cool things. Dave Chappelle said, if we don't 0:47:43.840 --> 0:47:47.560 do dope stuff, dope stuff doesn't happen. And I believe that, 0:47:47.800 --> 0:47:50.239 and so I want things to be great. I want 0:47:50.280 --> 0:47:52.640 someone in Baltimore to pay for their ticket and go 0:47:52.760 --> 0:47:55.239 tonight and say that was worth the money. So then 0:47:55.239 --> 0:47:56.719 I also have stand up. I also have a great 0:47:56.719 --> 0:47:58.920 stand up. So I'm living in this world. I have 0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:02.360 three movies in development, in one in production, and so 0:48:02.520 --> 0:48:05.879 like all this stuff ends up that like I zero 0:48:06.040 --> 0:48:10.440 have zero moments of sleep, let alone like journaling like 0:48:10.520 --> 0:48:11.840 it's like crazy. 0:48:11.840 --> 0:48:13.640 But I don't think anybody was trying to figure out 0:48:13.680 --> 0:48:14.480 if you're journaling. 0:48:15.000 --> 0:48:17.800 I just started. No, you did on my fifty third birthday. 0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:21.120 Your journalist was like, what you right yesterday? 0:48:21.320 --> 0:48:22.400 I didn't write yesterday. 0:48:23.840 --> 0:48:29.520 I'm being honest. I'm being honest. The day turn into 0:48:29.880 --> 0:48:33.239 this is a confessional. I understand I have a lot 0:48:33.280 --> 0:48:34.360 of like white guys stress. 0:48:34.480 --> 0:48:35.399 Hey, can I ask you this? 0:48:35.840 --> 0:48:36.120 No? 0:48:36.120 --> 0:48:38.400 No, no no, this may be from the on journal. 0:48:38.840 --> 0:48:41.440 That's a that that's like for I feel like I've 0:48:41.440 --> 0:48:42.359 seen your belly a lot. 0:48:42.520 --> 0:48:44.000 Yes, like the. 0:48:44.200 --> 0:48:48.359 Strip down the middle, that's more than usual. I know, 0:48:48.520 --> 0:48:49.600 are you growing hair? 0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:58.840 Hare? Can we can? We'll focus on the night in Baltimore, 0:48:58.960 --> 0:49:02.120 on the one thing that anyone will see. Anyone's gonna 0:49:02.120 --> 0:49:05.760 look at that stripe. I'm like a leopard. I spread 0:49:05.760 --> 0:49:08.600 it out. It came in heavy, right, I know? What 0:49:08.719 --> 0:49:09.000 is that? 0:49:10.400 --> 0:49:12.120 When a woman into something? 0:49:13.440 --> 0:49:15.000 Yeah? What when? 0:49:15.040 --> 0:49:18.400 When when a woman is pregnant, Like when Liam was pregnant, 0:49:18.440 --> 0:49:21.000 she get that big black line down her belly. 0:49:22.920 --> 0:49:27.400 You thought I was in the urban station or you 0:49:27.440 --> 0:49:28.320 thought I thought. 0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:36.279 That whatever that is, you got it, But it's hair. 0:49:39.840 --> 0:49:42.719 I got you that. I know. I know. 0:49:42.920 --> 0:49:44.960 There's a lot of things going on with my body 0:49:44.960 --> 0:49:47.960 that I'm not in love with. So stress, stress makes 0:49:48.000 --> 0:49:49.520 it all just come out like a mohawk. 0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:57.280 Yeah what do you making a picture of stress? Stress 0:49:57.400 --> 0:50:02.920 sucks in Baltimore, My stress, and get a ticket already. 0:50:04.200 --> 0:50:10.520 I'm gonna go to some seafood restaurant. 0:50:11.120 --> 0:50:18.120 Got read here, Yeah, everyone's got their stresses. Wait what 0:50:18.200 --> 0:50:21.359 seafood restaurant are you going to? So he grew because yeah, 0:50:21.400 --> 0:50:22.480 Kyle's from Baltimore. 0:50:25.960 --> 0:50:29.680 Go ahead, Kyle, Hey, real quick, real quick, real quick. 0:50:29.719 --> 0:50:30.200 All I want. 0:50:31.040 --> 0:50:32.000 I can't stop looking. 0:50:33.040 --> 0:50:33.840 Put my shirt back on. 0:50:35.360 --> 0:50:38.359 So Kyle's my assistant, and he if you ask him 0:50:38.360 --> 0:50:39.840 where he froms he says Baltimore. 0:50:40.000 --> 0:50:43.040 We're going to Jimmy Seafood today. Should not have said 0:50:43.040 --> 0:50:43.480 that out loud. 0:50:43.760 --> 0:50:45.640 The no, No, that's good. 0:50:45.840 --> 0:50:53.360 You may not make it. There's Kyle's playing claim Baltimore. 0:50:53.400 --> 0:50:54.840 What happened was he dressed. 0:50:54.920 --> 0:50:57.120 He came out one day and he was wearing cowboy boots, 0:50:57.200 --> 0:51:01.000 jeans and a roper's jacket with a cowboy hat. I said, 0:51:01.000 --> 0:51:03.399 what's that? Was this where he costplaying a grown man? 0:51:05.160 --> 0:51:07.560 He goes, this is what I wore growing up. I went, well, 0:51:07.560 --> 0:51:09.120 you grew up in Baltimore and he was like, yeah, 0:51:09.160 --> 0:51:11.000 I know, but you know outside Baltimore. And I went 0:51:12.360 --> 0:51:14.960 how outside and he goes, no, I mean just outside 0:51:15.000 --> 0:51:16.719 the city, but I grew up in Baltimore, but this 0:51:16.760 --> 0:51:18.280 is what we wore. And I was like, that doesn't 0:51:18.400 --> 0:51:20.480 I don't remember the episode of the Wire where they 0:51:20.520 --> 0:51:25.160 put their horses, and he was, look, he's losing his 0:51:25.200 --> 0:51:27.400 mind right now. And then, by the way, do not 0:51:27.440 --> 0:51:29.040 turn his mic on. I'm going to say everything. 0:51:29.520 --> 0:51:32.000 So the other day, the other day, we're. 0:51:31.760 --> 0:51:34.760 In the office and he is he's I want everyone 0:51:34.800 --> 0:51:40.320 who from Baltimore to listen, and DC he's claimed Baltimore. 0:51:40.320 --> 0:51:44.040 He's a Ravens fan, die Hard, He's a crazy Ravens fan, right, 0:51:45.480 --> 0:51:47.839 And at times he's told my wife, I grew up 0:51:47.840 --> 0:51:49.839 on the mean streets of Baltimore. Those words have come 0:51:49.880 --> 0:51:52.920 out of his mouth, right. And he's from a place 0:51:52.920 --> 0:51:55.879 called New Freedom. So I google New Freedom to see 0:51:55.880 --> 0:51:58.239 how far outside of Baltimore it is, because you know, 0:51:58.960 --> 0:52:02.080 twenty minutes minutes I can give it. I get that 0:52:02.719 --> 0:52:08.359 New Freedom is in Pennsylvania. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, 0:52:08.640 --> 0:52:10.600 look at that. It is a forty three minute drive 0:52:10.640 --> 0:52:17.280 thirty eight miles to Baltimore in Pennsylvania. And we lost 0:52:17.320 --> 0:52:20.840 our minds because he's never shared that it's in Pennsylvania. 0:52:20.880 --> 0:52:24.880 And he was like, technically, it's in Pennsylvania. Go technically, technically, no, 0:52:25.000 --> 0:52:28.840 actually it's actually in Pennsylvania. You actually slept in Pennsylvania 0:52:28.920 --> 0:52:32.760 every night. And then Leanne got her little matt lock, Wait, 0:52:32.880 --> 0:52:37.279 what's your driver's lissense? Is it Maryland or Pennsylvania? And 0:52:37.320 --> 0:52:43.319 he goes, technically it's Pennsylvania. Technically it's Pennsylvania. And I 0:52:43.360 --> 0:52:45.720 said to him, I said, I can bust your balls 0:52:46.000 --> 0:52:49.240 in perpetuity, or you can take this, and I'm still 0:52:49.239 --> 0:52:52.040 offering it. You can, and I'll allow you to do 0:52:52.080 --> 0:52:54.040 it right now. It'll be the very beginning of this bet. 0:52:54.080 --> 0:52:55.920 I said, I will never bring it up ever again. 0:52:56.480 --> 0:53:00.520 If until New Year's Eve, every time I bring up, hey, man, 0:53:00.560 --> 0:53:02.640 where are you from? He has to say a small 0:53:02.680 --> 0:53:06.200 town in Pennsylvania. And then I go, wait, did you 0:53:06.280 --> 0:53:09.400 grow up in or near any big cities? And you go, 0:53:09.520 --> 0:53:12.440 and he can say I wasn't even close to and 0:53:12.480 --> 0:53:15.320 he can't say Baltimore. He's gonna go. He has to 0:53:15.320 --> 0:53:20.120 say I wasn't even close to Baltimore really, and and 0:53:20.120 --> 0:53:23.680 and the bets here or and now, and he shades 0:53:23.719 --> 0:53:25.960 things like what's the best part is that he like, 0:53:26.360 --> 0:53:28.640 he I'm not gonna get to look, he doesn't want 0:53:28.640 --> 0:53:29.640 me to talk about homeschool. 0:53:31.880 --> 0:53:33.960 Dude. We found out he was homeschooled. 0:53:34.000 --> 0:53:34.600 Wait too late. 0:53:36.520 --> 0:53:39.560 We were hold on, this is so good. He was. 0:53:39.760 --> 0:53:41.680 We were on set of TV on my TV show, 0:53:41.760 --> 0:53:43.600 and we're all sitting in the most beautiful girl shows 0:53:43.680 --> 0:53:45.799 up and she's a little bit of a weirdo and 0:53:45.840 --> 0:53:49.200 we're talking to her and she's like, oh, I'm I'm 0:53:49.239 --> 0:53:53.040 an outlier, like I don't I don't answer any question right, 0:53:53.320 --> 0:53:54.520 And then we're like, where did you grow up? She 0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:58.160 goes like, the Philippines, but really Orlando, and I'm like okay, 0:53:58.760 --> 0:54:00.320 and I was like, we're in Orlando, you go to 0:54:00.320 --> 0:54:02.200 school and she goes, well, kind of this place, but 0:54:02.280 --> 0:54:05.040 I was really homeschooled, and she was so pretty. He 0:54:05.120 --> 0:54:07.320 let a secret slip and he goes, I was homeschooled, 0:54:07.520 --> 0:54:10.600 and everyone what? And then and then he tried to 0:54:10.640 --> 0:54:12.239 cover it and he goes, I wouldn't even bring that 0:54:12.320 --> 0:54:15.360 to everyone. Everyone already knows everything. We've been keeping it 0:54:15.440 --> 0:54:18.480 from you. Bert, don't tell anyone. And I called Pete immediately. 0:54:18.520 --> 0:54:21.200 I go, did you know Kyle's homeschool And he goes, no, 0:54:22.400 --> 0:54:26.279 So he was homeschooled in Pennsylvania, but slips out that 0:54:26.320 --> 0:54:29.640 he grew up in the mean streets of Baltimore. He 0:54:29.680 --> 0:54:34.160 wears cowboy outfits and roper gloves, but he grew up 0:54:34.200 --> 0:54:37.600 in pennsylvani the city of Brotherly Loved. He should be 0:54:37.640 --> 0:54:39.960 an Eagles fan. If you're a Ravens fan, do you 0:54:40.000 --> 0:54:43.360 claim him? And then and then the best is on 0:54:43.400 --> 0:54:46.120 the bus. He's with comics, so he's like, you understand, 0:54:46.400 --> 0:54:49.080 It's like, it's like forty minutes. And then who was 0:54:49.080 --> 0:54:51.799 on the bus? Hospital he goes Washington, d C. Is 0:54:51.840 --> 0:54:56.080 thirty minutes outside of baal time. Someone called in today. 0:54:56.120 --> 0:54:58.279 I googled the name of the city. She goes, I'm 0:54:58.320 --> 0:55:00.439 from White Plains, Maryland, and I went to that's crazy 0:55:00.480 --> 0:55:03.680 how she said the little city she's from. And by 0:55:03.719 --> 0:55:07.240 the way, she's twenty five minutes outside Baltimore. I googled 0:55:07.320 --> 0:55:10.600 it when it happened. Buddy, if you don't have a 0:55:10.760 --> 0:55:12.680 muse like this, life isn't worth living. 0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:15.600 By the way, for this store, are you want to 0:55:15.640 --> 0:55:16.239 bust this story? 0:55:16.880 --> 0:55:18.880 I low my bus. I'm gonna be buried in my bus. 0:55:20.520 --> 0:55:22.279 I wish I had started drinking earlier, but I'm so 0:55:22.320 --> 0:55:25.919 glad I didn't. I'm gonna be buried in my bus. 0:55:25.920 --> 0:55:28.280 How many people are on like are you? Is everybody 0:55:28.320 --> 0:55:28.600 with you? 0:55:28.640 --> 0:55:31.759 This? Two dude's sleeping right now, John Feidelberg and Pete 0:55:31.800 --> 0:55:33.839 Lee they're with me tonight. And then Dewey are bus 0:55:33.960 --> 0:55:39.040 drivers watching golf? I've saved two bus drivers lives. Blood pressure, 0:55:40.000 --> 0:55:42.000 blood pressure. We got to get yours under control. Do 0:55:42.040 --> 0:55:44.840 you I have some beta blockers in my bad I do, 0:55:44.960 --> 0:55:46.760 and I haven't even taken them, and they're so awesome. 0:55:46.760 --> 0:55:47.400 You're gonna love them. 0:55:47.480 --> 0:55:49.120 Do you take on this question? Do you take beta 0:55:49.120 --> 0:55:50.320 blockers before you go on stage? 0:55:50.440 --> 0:55:52.840 No? The reason I'm not taking them now is because 0:55:53.360 --> 0:55:55.400 I don't want your head to be all over the place. 0:55:55.520 --> 0:55:55.680 No. 0:55:55.719 --> 0:55:58.040 I like, I like, I don't have any stress going 0:55:58.040 --> 0:55:59.680 on stage. I love going on stage. Oh it's you're 0:55:59.680 --> 0:56:04.240 comfort when I hear my music. Yeah, Oh my heart races, 0:56:04.239 --> 0:56:05.120 my chill bumps. 0:56:05.200 --> 0:56:06.560 Yes. No, when we were talking about that, like, this 0:56:06.640 --> 0:56:09.680 is my most comfortable place. Yes yet in here, dude, 0:56:09.719 --> 0:56:10.200 I don't. 0:56:10.040 --> 0:56:14.640 Think, oh boy, well you got COVID. 0:56:14.800 --> 0:56:17.759 I think I think what's crazy is and I have 0:56:17.800 --> 0:56:19.520 to say this, and I hope you clipped this out 0:56:19.560 --> 0:56:20.440 and use this as a promo. 0:56:20.640 --> 0:56:21.600 I have COVID. 0:56:24.840 --> 0:56:28.359 I've got full blown aids I'm riddled with it. Ask 0:56:28.480 --> 0:56:31.440 me how I got it from an African prostitute? Have 0:56:31.480 --> 0:56:34.560 you ever seen that clip from Les? Google it? 0:56:34.560 --> 0:56:35.240 It's the best. 0:56:36.520 --> 0:56:41.000 But but uh, having done them, I do three podcasts. 0:56:41.080 --> 0:56:42.920 And you said about Mel Robbins and that was a 0:56:43.000 --> 0:56:44.400 very nice compliment. Thank you. 0:56:44.400 --> 0:56:47.080 You know who else was really really good. I watched 0:56:47.680 --> 0:56:51.840 Margo Price. She was fantastic. 0:56:52.160 --> 0:56:53.000 She was great. 0:56:53.239 --> 0:56:56.040 The two of you together were great. I will tell you, 0:56:56.360 --> 0:57:00.799 thank you very much. I when we you know, I'm 0:57:00.840 --> 0:57:03.120 not in the weeds. But like with Birdcast, we try 0:57:03.160 --> 0:57:05.040 to make sure it's just straight up comedy or with 0:57:05.840 --> 0:57:09.040 Two Bears comedy, it's fun, it's light, Something's Burning is 0:57:09.040 --> 0:57:11.279 a cooking show. That's its thing. With bird Cast, I 0:57:11.360 --> 0:57:13.320 kind of had to reimagine it because a lot of 0:57:13.320 --> 0:57:14.719 people were like, why would I watch this if I 0:57:14.760 --> 0:57:16.480 could just watch them on bird Cast. So I just 0:57:16.520 --> 0:57:18.400 kind of tried to focus on music with bird Cast. 0:57:18.480 --> 0:57:21.200 I really love music. And then I decided at the 0:57:21.200 --> 0:57:23.120 beginning of the year to demonetize it at the beginning 0:57:23.120 --> 0:57:24.520 of this year because I was like, I don't want 0:57:24.520 --> 0:57:26.080 to have to put it out every week because I 0:57:26.120 --> 0:57:30.840 do have o's at bird Cast, right but it bums 0:57:30.880 --> 0:57:34.640 me out that not more people watch. Like I had 0:57:34.640 --> 0:57:37.280 a band on that wasn't very popular at the time 0:57:37.760 --> 0:57:40.160 that I thought was great and they made me cry 0:57:40.200 --> 0:57:43.680 watching them play, and I brought everyone from my office 0:57:43.760 --> 0:57:45.480 up to watch them play, and we were all drinking 0:57:46.040 --> 0:57:48.560 and the band was Red Clay Strays, right, and then 0:57:48.600 --> 0:57:53.720 they got popular. But I wish people cared before, meaning 0:57:53.760 --> 0:57:56.240 like Margo Price is brilliant. She is one of the 0:57:56.280 --> 0:57:57.440 most talented musicians. 0:57:57.720 --> 0:58:00.640 She's played with everybody and she knows everyone. 0:58:00.760 --> 0:58:04.720 For whatever reason, my podcast isn't in that algorithm where 0:58:04.720 --> 0:58:08.680 people discover brilliant artists. Like I had Warren hazeon and 0:58:08.800 --> 0:58:12.240 it's like people are like, he's the most brilliant guitarist. 0:58:12.280 --> 0:58:14.840 I have Marcus King on Marcus King fell off the wagon. 0:58:14.880 --> 0:58:17.000 Marcus King is a prodigy guitar player. Sure he fell 0:58:17.000 --> 0:58:18.840 off the wagon. Came to my house and he's like, Buddy, 0:58:18.880 --> 0:58:21.320 I'm off the wagon. This is a bad day for me. 0:58:21.600 --> 0:58:23.240 I could use a drink and maybe talk about it. 0:58:23.280 --> 0:58:27.560 And we talked about sobriety for two hours, getting drunk 0:58:27.560 --> 0:58:30.919 as crap. Right, But they don't get views because they're 0:58:30.960 --> 0:58:35.080 not click baby now having said that the flowers go 0:58:35.120 --> 0:58:37.720 to you, because to do this every day is an 0:58:37.880 --> 0:58:41.680 actual talent that I don't think anyone understands how brilliant 0:58:41.720 --> 0:58:44.840 that Italian and how how bright that light shines. And 0:58:44.880 --> 0:58:47.200 I'm being serious when I say this, because I'm tapped out. 0:58:47.600 --> 0:58:52.360 Like I'm tapped out. I could get I could get 0:58:52.440 --> 0:58:54.320 rid of all my podcasts and be a happier man. 0:58:55.080 --> 0:58:58.960 But the way you do this is so it's like, 0:58:59.040 --> 0:59:01.600 do you ever see I love analogies. You ever see 0:59:01.640 --> 0:59:03.960 like clouds over the ocean and then all of a 0:59:03.960 --> 0:59:08.360 sudden it opens up and one sunshine comes out right, 0:59:08.400 --> 0:59:10.720 and it hits the thing and it sparkles on the ocean. 0:59:11.360 --> 0:59:14.120 But not everyone sees it. It's not a sunset. It's 0:59:14.200 --> 0:59:17.000 just one sunshine, right, And if you see it, you'll 0:59:17.000 --> 0:59:18.320 track it. You'll track it all the way to it 0:59:18.320 --> 0:59:20.880 gets to the beach. And it's fun for you. And 0:59:20.920 --> 0:59:23.000 that's what being a fan of a radio show is is. 0:59:23.040 --> 0:59:25.640 It's not it's not for everyone, obviously, but it's yours 0:59:25.680 --> 0:59:27.760 and it's your thing, and you never stop shining. And 0:59:27.800 --> 0:59:29.960 that is as a guy that's doing this and has 0:59:30.000 --> 0:59:31.880 been doing this for now fifteen years. 0:59:31.880 --> 0:59:33.880 I hate it like I can't. 0:59:34.080 --> 0:59:37.720 I'm the podcasting is exhausting, right, it is exhausting every 0:59:37.720 --> 0:59:39.840 now and then I get that sunshine, but not every day, 0:59:41.080 --> 0:59:43.280 and you do it every day and anytime I come 0:59:43.320 --> 0:59:45.440 in here, I love it. But every time I come 0:59:45.480 --> 0:59:47.120 in here, I've been coming in for twenty years, right, 0:59:47.280 --> 0:59:50.200 It's always my favorite thing I've ever done. But you 0:59:50.320 --> 0:59:50.720 thank you. 0:59:50.800 --> 0:59:53.560 But that's not that way for Margot Price. 0:59:53.600 --> 0:59:56.000 When it comes to myself, She's like, well, he really 0:59:56.000 --> 0:59:58.520 phoned it in. He doesn't know any of my songs. 0:59:58.560 --> 1:00:01.840 He's just don't the first two on the to Margo 1:00:01.880 --> 1:00:04.240 Prize everybody You and. 1:00:04.160 --> 1:00:06.520 Margot discussed them that I thought was interesting. 1:00:06.200 --> 1:00:10.000 Though the you asked her if she could love someone 1:00:10.080 --> 1:00:13.720 who didn't like music, and then she said, could you 1:00:13.800 --> 1:00:15.520 love someone who didn't like comedy? 1:00:15.560 --> 1:00:16.760 But you never answered the question. 1:00:16.880 --> 1:00:17.280 I love my. 1:00:17.280 --> 1:00:22.720 Wife because she if she didn't like comedy, if she 1:00:22.880 --> 1:00:25.840 was the girl back when you answered by going, I 1:00:25.960 --> 1:00:28.240 dated a girl who was like, yeah, if Sindbad can 1:00:28.240 --> 1:00:29.360 do it, anybody can do it. 1:00:29.640 --> 1:00:31.919 Yes, let me let me. I'll give you a even 1:00:31.960 --> 1:00:35.080 deeper question. I was gonna have a hard time loving 1:00:35.120 --> 1:00:40.960 my daughters if they didn't like comedy. Ooh so ooh. 1:00:41.000 --> 1:00:43.520 We did fully Loaded the first year and I got it. 1:00:43.560 --> 1:00:45.200 I don't know if fully Loaded will ever come back. 1:00:45.240 --> 1:00:47.920 I think it was fun. Yeah, and I say that 1:00:48.120 --> 1:00:50.400 Candile Beakusse, I think everyone's in movies now, everyone's doing 1:00:50.440 --> 1:00:51.040 bigger things. 1:00:51.640 --> 1:00:53.200 It was a it was a really special thing. 1:00:53.320 --> 1:00:53.520 Yeah. 1:00:53.760 --> 1:00:54.680 I mean you look at the lineup. 1:00:54.680 --> 1:00:56.560 If you look at the lineup of the first fully 1:00:56.560 --> 1:01:00.280 Loaded we did, or maybe the second one, that bill 1:01:00.600 --> 1:01:03.400 that the lineup bill is now. 1:01:03.160 --> 1:01:06.440 A five million dollar bill, right, it's Shane. 1:01:06.240 --> 1:01:10.560 Gillis, Stabby, Mark Norman, Dan Soder, Big Jokerson, Bruce Bruce. 1:01:10.600 --> 1:01:13.080 I mean it's crazy bill. It's a crazy bill, Nicky Lazer, 1:01:13.160 --> 1:01:18.280 Tony Andecliff. Right, the first day we did it, it 1:01:18.400 --> 1:01:22.200 was the lineup was Big, Jockerson, Salvacano and Shane Gillis. 1:01:22.200 --> 1:01:25.240 Now everyone knows I love Shane, but I liked him 1:01:25.280 --> 1:01:27.320 before you liked him. But I need to say that 1:01:27.720 --> 1:01:30.720 because I was. I really enjoyed him. I enjoyed him 1:01:30.720 --> 1:01:32.600 and I and I wanted my daughters to like him. 1:01:32.600 --> 1:01:35.200 And he is aggressive a time on stage. And Georgia 1:01:35.240 --> 1:01:37.760 went and watched Shane and David Tell, David Tel's my 1:01:37.760 --> 1:01:40.480 favorite comic to ever done comedy, So I'm not certain 1:01:40.480 --> 1:01:42.800 I can love my daughter. She doesn't love David Tel 1:01:43.800 --> 1:01:44.800 because she woke. 1:01:48.080 --> 1:01:48.640 David tells. 1:01:48.640 --> 1:01:50.200 How old was she when she saw David Tel? 1:01:50.280 --> 1:01:51.080 Eighteen years old? 1:01:51.280 --> 1:01:53.320 Oh, I bet she hated him. 1:01:53.880 --> 1:01:57.520 And she watched. She watched Shane first. Shane went up 1:01:57.560 --> 1:02:00.360 before a Tell, and I watched her and her friend 1:02:00.480 --> 1:02:02.680 Daisy and they were watching and Shane had a joke 1:02:02.680 --> 1:02:06.120 about going to a plantation something and being like a 1:02:06.160 --> 1:02:09.280 slave master, and then the black Eye talks to him 1:02:09.280 --> 1:02:10.440 and he's like, you can't talk to me like that, 1:02:10.960 --> 1:02:13.640 and she went like this. They both went I said, 1:02:13.680 --> 1:02:15.480 what's that? She goes, you do not have to say that. 1:02:16.040 --> 1:02:19.040 I said, why not? She was, You're gonna get in trouble. 1:02:19.400 --> 1:02:22.080 I go by who. She goes, well, you can't talk 1:02:22.200 --> 1:02:25.439 like that, dad, And I went by who. Everyone just laughed. 1:02:25.440 --> 1:02:25.840 Did you laugh? 1:02:25.880 --> 1:02:27.360 She goes, yeah, that's why I covered my mouth. I go, 1:02:27.400 --> 1:02:29.760 oh no, no, no, no, let yourself laugh. That's what 1:02:29.840 --> 1:02:32.200 comedy is. She's like, you can say that. And then 1:02:32.240 --> 1:02:35.800 Shane's next jokes like I don't like Navy seals something. 1:02:36.200 --> 1:02:38.320 It was like, I mean's wild. It was his act 1:02:38.360 --> 1:02:41.240 at the time was wild, right, And she started laughing 1:02:41.600 --> 1:02:44.800 as Shane Gillis and I and my heart swelled. I 1:02:44.840 --> 1:02:49.920 went David Tell's opening joke was I like a woman 1:02:50.000 --> 1:02:53.000 who's unshaved. I needed to look like Osama bin Lauden 1:02:53.080 --> 1:02:57.040 down there. And she started laughing hysterically, and I was like, 1:02:57.080 --> 1:02:59.680 oh my god, I can love my daughter. I thought 1:02:59.680 --> 1:03:03.160 I never gonna love you. My favorite moment of all 1:03:03.160 --> 1:03:04.920 of it is and I know I've told this. I'm 1:03:04.920 --> 1:03:06.479 sorry I have is at the end of she loves 1:03:06.480 --> 1:03:08.680 Shane Gillis so much she trusted him. We have a 1:03:08.720 --> 1:03:11.480 picture of Shane and our in our family photos on 1:03:11.520 --> 1:03:14.240 our mantle. That's how much my daughters love Shane Gillis. 1:03:14.520 --> 1:03:17.360 No Slight, No Slight. When matt Rive's Special came out, 1:03:17.600 --> 1:03:19.480 her and all her girlfriends came to our screening room 1:03:19.480 --> 1:03:21.640 and watched it. Halfway through, they switched it over to 1:03:21.640 --> 1:03:24.120 Shane's Beautiful Dogs, and she goes, this is who you 1:03:24.160 --> 1:03:27.280 gotta see, my daughter. Okay, I love you, my ride. 1:03:27.320 --> 1:03:30.320 I'm not a flight, no flight, You're so talented, but 1:03:30.360 --> 1:03:32.479 my kids are a Sane Gillis fan we're a sane 1:03:32.480 --> 1:03:33.440 Gillow's family. 1:03:34.800 --> 1:03:37.800 Having them at home. Yes, Oh, isn't it the worst? 1:03:38.360 --> 1:03:38.880 Can you even? 1:03:39.000 --> 1:03:39.080 Do? 1:03:39.120 --> 1:03:41.320 You go visit them? 1:03:41.480 --> 1:03:41.880 I do? 1:03:42.960 --> 1:03:48.800 It's not someone playing cotton Eye Joe. No, yeah, I do. 1:03:48.920 --> 1:03:49.160 I do. 1:03:49.240 --> 1:03:52.680 It sucks, it's I hate. 1:03:52.080 --> 1:03:54.240 Drives me nuts, yea. And they'll never hear this is 1:03:54.240 --> 1:03:58.320 that Georgia's friend group. The dads are all party animals, 1:03:58.360 --> 1:04:00.520 you know, and I never hear this. 1:04:00.720 --> 1:04:01.320 They bite a. 1:04:01.320 --> 1:04:05.360 Can and it's sprays, and then they shotgun beers and 1:04:05.400 --> 1:04:07.440 George is like yeah, and then her dad is like 1:04:07.480 --> 1:04:12.360 a functioning alcoholic and she can't appreciate how beautiful my 1:04:12.600 --> 1:04:15.400 I am the party. Every kid at her school wants 1:04:15.480 --> 1:04:34.200 to party with me. It's like dad, tone of town. 1:04:24.480 --> 1:04:36.280 If you can't get. 1:04:36.080 --> 1:04:41.000 COVID, you can't get a d all right? Can we 1:04:41.040 --> 1:04:42.240 do word association? Yes? 1:04:42.960 --> 1:04:44.400 I'm gonna say something. 1:04:44.040 --> 1:04:46.400 To you, and I want. 1:04:46.280 --> 1:04:47.000 You what's wrong? 1:04:48.000 --> 1:04:51.360 Anything? Dance? 1:04:54.560 --> 1:04:55.000 Do you have to go? 1:04:55.200 --> 1:04:59.800 Man? Knock me? Come from? I got from? 1:05:00.200 --> 1:05:01.800 This was groundbreaking. 1:05:02.560 --> 1:05:06.040 I realized someone was like someone was like like, what 1:05:07.600 --> 1:05:09.960 this is better than pizza? 1:05:08.720 --> 1:05:08.880 Woa? 1:05:10.320 --> 1:05:10.600 All right? 1:05:10.640 --> 1:05:11.440 We're association? 1:05:11.480 --> 1:05:11.880 You're ready? 1:05:12.080 --> 1:05:13.120 Whoa boys? 1:05:13.920 --> 1:05:14.360 All right? 1:05:14.560 --> 1:05:18.160 I'm good I'm good, all right, I'm gonna say something 1:05:18.200 --> 1:05:20.360 to you, and I don't want just a one word answer. 1:05:21.600 --> 1:05:23.840 Walk me through what. 1:05:23.840 --> 1:05:25.200 Comes to your mind. Are you ready? 1:05:25.680 --> 1:05:30.280 You're ready. We're gonna get some pizza. 1:05:31.200 --> 1:05:33.680 Listen, Blake Casper. We're not just getting pizza. We're fighting 1:05:33.680 --> 1:05:36.760 over pizza. You better not get one pizza. And I 1:05:36.760 --> 1:05:39.600 don't think that I'm not eating the first piece of 1:05:39.640 --> 1:05:43.240 pizza first. I'm gonna I'm gonna save on that first 1:05:43.320 --> 1:05:46.000 crust because I want to get the second piece ahead 1:05:46.040 --> 1:05:48.920 of you. This is a race and it's down to 1:05:48.960 --> 1:05:50.720 the I mean, by the way you could do this, 1:05:51.400 --> 1:05:53.400 I could talk about pizza for pizza is one of 1:05:53.400 --> 1:05:54.480 my favorite things in the world. 1:05:54.640 --> 1:05:55.920 You don't get where I saw that. 1:05:56.040 --> 1:05:58.040 But when you were like, oh no, no, no, no, 1:05:58.360 --> 1:06:03.840 like you start doing math with the people in the room. 1:06:00.920 --> 1:06:06.000 Oh can I So? Who told me the other day 1:06:06.000 --> 1:06:10.520 that Ryan Sickler, who's from Baltimore, not from New Maryland, 1:06:10.520 --> 1:06:14.640 found Pennsylvania, right said like his he told me this 1:06:14.680 --> 1:06:17.560 one time he goes his buddy. His dad was a 1:06:17.560 --> 1:06:19.919 big fat guy, and his buddy was a big fat guy, 1:06:20.440 --> 1:06:22.800 and his mom was warnering pizzas for a birthday party. 1:06:23.080 --> 1:06:25.200 I wish I can remember who this was. And they 1:06:25.600 --> 1:06:27.080 went and his dad goes, why don't you come get 1:06:27.080 --> 1:06:30.040 a pizza with me and the pizzas. So they go 1:06:30.080 --> 1:06:32.120 and they pick up the pizzas and it's three pizzas, 1:06:32.160 --> 1:06:34.920 but there's four, and he goes, what's the fourth pizza? 1:06:34.960 --> 1:06:38.040 And he goes, it's a road pie. He goes, we 1:06:38.080 --> 1:06:40.040 eat it on the ride back that way. We bring 1:06:40.080 --> 1:06:42.160 in the pizzas and everyone we go, no, no, no, 1:06:42.200 --> 1:06:43.120 you guys help yourselves. 1:06:43.120 --> 1:06:46.800 We'll get to it later. I wish I could remember 1:06:46.840 --> 1:06:47.360 who said that. 1:06:47.400 --> 1:06:49.760 I wish people could see the look Burt just gave me, like, 1:06:50.360 --> 1:06:51.440 remember that. 1:06:51.440 --> 1:06:55.120 Son, That is the most brilliant thing when you find 1:06:55.200 --> 1:06:58.840 chea codes like that in life. Shut up. That was 1:06:58.880 --> 1:07:00.960 the next for me when I'm gonna do zanax to 1:07:01.000 --> 1:07:02.720 me and was like, yo, you take half his handex 1:07:02.800 --> 1:07:04.440 and you have had twenty beers. I go, oh, what 1:07:04.520 --> 1:07:07.040 are we doing? Why are we waiting time for the beers? 1:07:07.040 --> 1:07:10.200 A kick in? Oh? Okay? 1:07:10.360 --> 1:07:12.560 Then I know I know that you apparently you're not 1:07:12.600 --> 1:07:13.960 here all morning. That's fine, that's fine. 1:07:13.960 --> 1:07:14.680 What are you talking about? 1:07:14.760 --> 1:07:16.680 The I was told that there is an exit time. 1:07:16.840 --> 1:07:25.760 No, No, never speak for me. I grew up in Tampa, Florida. 1:07:26.240 --> 1:07:27.800 Do we need to take the bus? He takes the 1:07:27.800 --> 1:07:33.520 bus and I uber to the bus. Never speak for me. God, God, 1:07:35.440 --> 1:07:37.840 no exit time. That's my favorite thing in the world. 1:07:38.560 --> 1:07:39.280 Are you kidding me? 1:07:39.600 --> 1:07:43.080 Game three of the World Series. I had no idea 1:07:43.160 --> 1:07:46.640 you were there. Oh yeah, dude, that was eighteen innies. 1:07:46.720 --> 1:07:51.920 I was. I was behind Justin Bieber and Jacin Jakin Adorney, 1:07:52.600 --> 1:07:56.960 Jakeen and Doorney, Jacon and Dorney. Say again, Jacin, Jacob, 1:07:57.080 --> 1:07:59.000 Jacob Jacob al Doorney. 1:07:58.880 --> 1:07:59.360 El Dori. 1:07:59.600 --> 1:08:04.840 That's him. Beautiful man. He is the most beautiful man 1:08:04.840 --> 1:08:06.480 I've ever seen in my entire life. By the way, 1:08:06.600 --> 1:08:10.080 Justin Bieber striking young man, much taller than you think, 1:08:10.360 --> 1:08:14.160 right much, scrawny scrappler. You don't want to mess with 1:08:14.160 --> 1:08:19.120 that kid. But that Jacob Aldherty, Lordie, Jacob Delordy, whatever 1:08:19.160 --> 1:08:19.639 his name. 1:08:19.560 --> 1:08:26.000 Is is, John Dolorean is beautiful. No one gets hi reference Did. 1:08:25.920 --> 1:08:26.800 You stay for the whole thing? 1:08:27.320 --> 1:08:28.120 No? 1:08:28.240 --> 1:08:32.000 Bird? What did you leave that? 1:08:32.280 --> 1:08:34.400 What was it go? Eighteen? When eighteen I left in 1:08:34.400 --> 1:08:41.439 the beginning of the seventeenth it was aggressive. You know 1:08:41.479 --> 1:08:43.280 what's so funny is at the beginning of the game 1:08:43.439 --> 1:08:46.679 real talk. I okay, let's talk real talk. 1:08:46.680 --> 1:08:47.080 Okay. 1:08:47.360 --> 1:08:50.680 Right, So my best friend Tony Hernandez produces everything I do, 1:08:50.760 --> 1:08:52.479 my TV shows, my specials, everything is. 1:08:52.680 --> 1:08:53.759 I grew up with them in Tampa. 1:08:53.960 --> 1:08:57.679 He happens to be one of the biggest producers in comedy, right, 1:08:57.720 --> 1:08:59.920 and he does everything. He calls me up and he goes, Yo, 1:09:01.360 --> 1:09:03.559 let's get tickets to the game to the World Series. 1:09:03.600 --> 1:09:06.160 We always do big tickets, and they're expensive. I think 1:09:06.200 --> 1:09:08.880 they're I think they were like ten granded ticket, five 1:09:08.880 --> 1:09:10.960 grand a ticket. They're expensive, right, And he goes, you 1:09:10.960 --> 1:09:15.719 know what, we'll get four We'll invite Netflix and and 1:09:15.840 --> 1:09:17.960 you know some you know, we'll make it a business thing. 1:09:18.040 --> 1:09:20.200 I was like, all right, great, and he goes, yo, 1:09:20.400 --> 1:09:23.280 is it cool if I invite like talent that i'd 1:09:23.320 --> 1:09:25.000 like to work with. I go, yeah, one hundred percent. 1:09:25.360 --> 1:09:28.960 I'd love to sit next to you know, uh, Sidney Sweeney, 1:09:29.000 --> 1:09:30.040 whoever you want to work with. 1:09:30.200 --> 1:09:34.440 Of course. So we get there and it's Adam Ray. 1:09:36.920 --> 1:09:38.680 A good I just pay ten thousand dollars to sit 1:09:38.720 --> 1:09:42.120 next to Adam Ray, and Adam Ray is so excited. 1:09:42.160 --> 1:09:43.080 I go I bet you are. 1:09:44.080 --> 1:09:45.960 You just got a free World Series ticket and you're 1:09:46.000 --> 1:09:48.519 Adam Ray and I'm me and we're sitting and he goes, 1:09:48.520 --> 1:09:50.120 how great is this? I go, I pay for though 1:09:50.680 --> 1:09:54.080 we're talking about great is this? It sucks? But then 1:09:54.080 --> 1:09:55.479 I got to sit next to Adam Ray, which was 1:09:55.560 --> 1:10:00.680 hysterical because he he was heckling Jason Aunthorty the whole time. 1:10:00.720 --> 1:10:04.960 He's like, how dorny beeber beaber beaber you suck? 1:10:06.160 --> 1:10:06.639 He was the best. 1:10:06.680 --> 1:10:09.519 I spin over the border, but he was the best. 1:10:09.560 --> 1:10:11.880 And then we brought Netflix. We brought some producers. I 1:10:11.880 --> 1:10:14.559 didn't know, but I saw it. So you crashed CNN 1:10:14.720 --> 1:10:18.160 at one point, I don't remember that. I was very drunk, 1:10:19.000 --> 1:10:23.160 so I did a gangster move right before the seventh inning. 1:10:23.280 --> 1:10:26.160 Let's ballpark this right, okay, because okay, go ahead, I 1:10:26.240 --> 1:10:27.920 know exactly where you're going, but go ahead, go ahead, 1:10:27.920 --> 1:10:30.280 you tell it. No, so at you you end up 1:10:30.280 --> 1:10:33.960 on CNN, right, and on CNN you do. You end 1:10:34.040 --> 1:10:35.960 up talking to them, and they were very nice. They 1:10:36.000 --> 1:10:37.040 brought you on in the whole thing. 1:10:37.479 --> 1:10:40.120 The But you're you have a you have a tall 1:10:40.160 --> 1:10:41.400 boy in your. 1:10:41.280 --> 1:10:43.600 Hand, and it's the sixteenth thing. 1:10:43.720 --> 1:10:45.880 It's at that point it was the sixteenth inning. You're right, 1:10:45.880 --> 1:10:48.200 because they were They were talking about like CNN went Live. 1:10:48.240 --> 1:10:50.240 They were like, it's the World Series, but we're also 1:10:50.280 --> 1:10:54.360 sixteen innings in. They stopped serving at the seeventh inning. Right, 1:10:55.439 --> 1:10:57.600 where were you? Where were you storing beers? Because at 1:10:57.640 --> 1:10:59.160 first I thought you must have been in a suite, 1:10:59.240 --> 1:11:01.920 but apparently we I said. 1:11:02.000 --> 1:11:04.559 When we got there, and I swear all my children's life, 1:11:04.600 --> 1:11:08.759 I said, this is going twenty two innings. Everyone buckled 1:11:08.800 --> 1:11:11.840 down for the longest game of their lives, and I 1:11:12.080 --> 1:11:14.240 at the seventh inning, I looked at Adam, and I 1:11:14.240 --> 1:11:16.960 looked at Tony, and I looked at Andy Wheel, I 1:11:17.000 --> 1:11:19.840 looked at everyone that I paid for their ticket, and 1:11:19.920 --> 1:11:23.559 I said, well, let's go get beers. And they were like, Andy, 1:11:23.560 --> 1:11:25.640 we all had to catch flight to New York that night. 1:11:25.640 --> 1:11:27.680 And he was like, okay, So he got two beers. 1:11:28.000 --> 1:11:31.200 The tall boys, right, Adam got two beers, Tony sober. 1:11:31.280 --> 1:11:34.200 Tony got two beers. And then the girl that produces 1:11:34.240 --> 1:11:36.400 something I don't know, some TV shows with the Crazy 1:11:36.439 --> 1:11:39.360 Little Things or something, she got two beers. She doesn't drink. 1:11:39.800 --> 1:11:42.719 So we were lined up. Me and Adam got lit. 1:11:42.840 --> 1:11:45.840 We had each had like a tall boy for every inning, 1:11:45.880 --> 1:11:49.720 and and of eight penn and edibles. I was so 1:11:49.960 --> 1:11:52.680 wasted that I don't remember seeing end video at all. 1:11:52.720 --> 1:11:54.479 I don't remember it at all. Are you serious at all? 1:11:54.520 --> 1:11:56.760 I don't remember it at all. All I know is 1:11:56.800 --> 1:11:58.599 at one point they were like, yo, we gotta get 1:11:58.640 --> 1:12:00.639 you out of here, like this is you can't last 1:12:00.680 --> 1:12:03.680 all night, And I go, I cannot drink them, all right. 1:12:03.720 --> 1:12:05.720 If they're gonna keep pitching doors, you like this, all right, 1:12:05.880 --> 1:12:07.920 I'll drink them. It was, dude. 1:12:07.920 --> 1:12:09.400 It was one one of the craziest games I've ever 1:12:09.800 --> 1:12:11.000 I loved it. I loved it. 1:12:12.000 --> 1:12:13.760 I love I love epic events like that. I love 1:12:13.760 --> 1:12:15.720 when it rains at a football game, right. I love 1:12:15.800 --> 1:12:17.680 when it stows at a football game. I love when 1:12:17.680 --> 1:12:20.439 there's extra endings. I love a doubleheader. I like the event. 1:12:20.760 --> 1:12:23.000 I don't like just you know. That's why I go 1:12:23.240 --> 1:12:24.800 when I do these tours and they go, you want 1:12:24.800 --> 1:12:26.479 to put three? Yeah, I'm gonna put the money into 1:12:26.520 --> 1:12:29.000 the tour because I wanted. I want people to go, Wow, 1:12:29.080 --> 1:12:31.240 that was fun, right, because that's what life's about. Life's 1:12:31.280 --> 1:12:34.519 not about like it was good. If it was just good, 1:12:34.560 --> 1:12:36.920 then you're like, it's like when I come on the show, 1:12:38.000 --> 1:12:40.680 I hope, I hope half the people are like, that 1:12:40.840 --> 1:12:43.759 was crazy. He got drunk. He doesn't need to get drunk. 1:12:44.000 --> 1:12:46.920 He doesn't need to share all these secrets. It's like 1:12:47.000 --> 1:12:50.439 the best. The best moment I ever had in radio, ever, 1:12:50.920 --> 1:12:54.479 is when I gave Leann's number out on radio. When 1:12:54.640 --> 1:12:57.479 no one remembers that it because I gave out Liann's. 1:12:57.600 --> 1:13:00.439 I gave out my Facebook and Leanne's number, right, and 1:13:00.479 --> 1:13:03.400 it was the that I live for moments like that 1:13:03.439 --> 1:13:08.000 in life. Let's do it again, two one, three numbers? 1:13:11.120 --> 1:13:12.280 She would be living. 1:13:13.120 --> 1:13:16.479 Hey did you ever get her to do semi tasteful nudes? 1:13:18.000 --> 1:13:20.840 Are you serious? Did you? I learned how to have 1:13:21.040 --> 1:13:29.360 a hidden folder. This is so good. I don't know 1:13:29.400 --> 1:13:33.400 how to get into it. But did she do them? Yeah? 1:13:33.479 --> 1:13:34.240 Are you serious? 1:13:34.280 --> 1:13:35.200 Does she look so good? 1:13:35.280 --> 1:13:37.040 Is it the ones that you've got on your Instagram? 1:13:37.160 --> 1:13:40.360 No, that's different, I got No, that's not I can't 1:13:40.400 --> 1:13:43.439 show I would. Okay, So here's what it sounds. So 1:13:43.479 --> 1:13:49.679 I've taken a couple behind her back? What is that bad? 1:13:49.760 --> 1:13:51.439 I've taken a couple behind her back because you didn't 1:13:51.439 --> 1:13:54.120 know about it, right, okay, a little sneaky sneaky piets 1:13:54.800 --> 1:13:57.040 And so I got I would and and and I 1:13:57.120 --> 1:14:00.840 want if Leanne gave me the green light to show you, 1:14:01.000 --> 1:14:04.080 I would show you and you would say, wow, she 1:14:04.120 --> 1:14:08.479 looks amazing. You should post those online. And then I 1:14:08.560 --> 1:14:11.880 and then and then I'm obsessed with aiing her. Yes, 1:14:12.000 --> 1:14:14.080 I ai her all the time. That's the stuff that's 1:14:14.120 --> 1:14:14.679 on instrument. 1:14:15.280 --> 1:14:16.200 I heard NonStop. 1:14:16.320 --> 1:14:18.439 And and I've gotten it down pretty good where I 1:14:18.479 --> 1:14:20.760 got it to where it's what she looks like. But 1:14:20.840 --> 1:14:24.320 I have and then and then we've agreed. We've agreed 1:14:24.840 --> 1:14:29.640 that I am allowed to take non identifiable pictures of 1:14:29.680 --> 1:14:33.400 her body part, uh body parts, and and keep them 1:14:33.400 --> 1:14:35.880 for myself non identifiable. 1:14:35.960 --> 1:14:37.800 Oh so you can take a picture of a boo, 1:14:37.880 --> 1:14:39.080 but it can't be with her face. 1:14:39.600 --> 1:14:40.080 Okay. 1:14:40.240 --> 1:14:42.320 I was like, it's a boob. You should be able 1:14:42.320 --> 1:14:44.840 to identify that. You just mean, as long as you can't, 1:14:44.840 --> 1:14:46.960 I just know it belongs. 1:14:46.600 --> 1:14:50.919 To I know whose freckles those are. And it's crazy 1:14:50.960 --> 1:14:53.759 how a freckle can turn you on where you're like, whoa, 1:14:53.960 --> 1:14:56.280 that's her, And there's I'm being serious. 1:14:56.280 --> 1:14:57.960 There's one nude picture. 1:14:58.000 --> 1:15:02.080 I grabbed her where she is at the bathroom and 1:15:02.120 --> 1:15:04.479 she's got her arm up and an arm like this, 1:15:04.720 --> 1:15:08.400 and I snuck it. She looks amazing. I'm I'm almost 1:15:08.400 --> 1:15:10.240 certain that if I showed you she'd be cool with it. 1:15:10.560 --> 1:15:14.400 But let's see, I wish I could, she would be living, 1:15:14.479 --> 1:15:18.280 she would I never get another nude. She looks so good, 1:15:18.760 --> 1:15:21.280 so good that you're I'm being like, she would want 1:15:21.280 --> 1:15:25.080 that online. He almost crazy for me not to leak it. 1:15:27.040 --> 1:15:28.760 It's like in the Nickson tapes, that being just on 1:15:28.880 --> 1:15:33.160 stand up and he was like, I don't know how 1:15:33.200 --> 1:15:38.080 great would Trump tapes be. We can leak his I 1:15:38.160 --> 1:15:42.320 love I'm not good at pressing. Are we drinking half 1:15:42.320 --> 1:15:45.040 a bottle? Vagamy in you? Let's do it all right? 1:15:45.080 --> 1:15:46.280 What else? The oh? 1:15:46.320 --> 1:15:47.559 I was waiting for you to pour. 1:15:48.320 --> 1:15:49.679 Little little one? Little one? 1:15:49.720 --> 1:15:51.479 Do you want one for the ride home? 1:15:52.520 --> 1:15:54.720 You said, I have one for the right for the 1:15:54.760 --> 1:15:55.120 right home. 1:15:55.200 --> 1:15:57.719 Yeah, okay, Two things. 1:15:57.880 --> 1:16:01.880 Number one, the uh your TV show, yes, which you 1:16:01.880 --> 1:16:03.599 told his comes out January twenty second. 1:16:04.439 --> 1:16:06.360 No, that's okay, No, because I'm good, I'm gonna want 1:16:06.360 --> 1:16:06.600 better you. 1:16:06.680 --> 1:16:09.240 I'm gonna want better you there somebody that we know, 1:16:09.400 --> 1:16:11.400 this guy Zach who. 1:16:10.920 --> 1:16:13.920 Listens to the show. Really good guy. He's already seen 1:16:14.160 --> 1:16:14.559 the show. 1:16:15.120 --> 1:16:20.000 YEP said it's great, thank you, saying it's really sense 1:16:20.040 --> 1:16:21.479 to this place for me because I'm not an actor, 1:16:21.880 --> 1:16:23.040 so like I'm not I don't know how. 1:16:22.960 --> 1:16:24.240 To I know, I saw the machine. 1:16:24.320 --> 1:16:33.280 Yeah I've gotten better. 1:16:33.840 --> 1:16:36.479 No, no, he said, he said it's fantastic. And I 1:16:36.520 --> 1:16:38.880 don't know, like what what what? Like club that is 1:16:38.880 --> 1:16:41.120 where there's some Netflix people they get to see stuff. 1:16:41.439 --> 1:16:42.960 So uh. 1:16:45.120 --> 1:16:48.960 Uh so you can roll the dice, right, I don't 1:16:49.000 --> 1:16:53.760 know how this is waiting to inside baseball. Okay, you 1:16:53.800 --> 1:16:56.400 can make your show like Tom and Tom's a safe 1:16:56.400 --> 1:16:58.479 place for me to land and he makes a show 1:16:58.520 --> 1:16:59.840 and he goes, no, no, it's I'll do what I want 1:16:59.880 --> 1:17:03.120 to do. Or you can be a little bit old 1:17:03.160 --> 1:17:06.040 school and say like yo, I would love to see 1:17:06.040 --> 1:17:08.760 what people think of it. Yeah, test so that I 1:17:08.800 --> 1:17:12.160 can change. But they don't like test it, and so 1:17:12.840 --> 1:17:14.840 I tested it. I let it test and so they 1:17:14.880 --> 1:17:18.280 release it to people on Netflix and they can watch it, 1:17:18.640 --> 1:17:21.160 and then the testing comes in and then the testing 1:17:21.200 --> 1:17:25.000 is very valuable, you know, like in you know, I 1:17:25.080 --> 1:17:26.519 don't know how much I'm allowed to talk about. But 1:17:26.560 --> 1:17:29.679 like one of the things is like in the testing, 1:17:30.600 --> 1:17:33.400 Leanne wasn't super lovable, and they'd be like, well, I 1:17:33.400 --> 1:17:35.640 don't want that represented in my show. That it's just 1:17:35.680 --> 1:17:38.240 stuff like that, right, And so then you try to 1:17:38.320 --> 1:17:40.960 just round her out a little bit in the edit. 1:17:41.160 --> 1:17:43.360 And so it's not you can't reshoot it, but you 1:17:43.360 --> 1:17:45.320 can just notice that, like maybe some lines that you 1:17:45.360 --> 1:17:48.160 thought were funny come off aggressive from someone that people 1:17:48.240 --> 1:17:51.639 already know. Right. It's not like tom Show, where it's 1:17:51.680 --> 1:17:54.080 a brand new thing something people already know a little 1:17:54.080 --> 1:17:56.719 bit about. So we tested it and tested very well. Yeah, 1:17:56.720 --> 1:17:57.840 and so well he saw it. 1:17:57.840 --> 1:17:59.800 He said it was great. Yeah, yeah, No, he really 1:17:59.840 --> 1:18:00.000 liked it. 1:18:01.200 --> 1:18:03.920 I'll tell you I'm very proud of it. I love it. 1:18:03.920 --> 1:18:09.040 It is it is very funny. It's very funny, and 1:18:09.360 --> 1:18:12.080 it's and it's very different. And I'll tell you a 1:18:12.200 --> 1:18:13.880 secret off air. 1:18:14.040 --> 1:18:14.960 Oh damn it. 1:18:15.040 --> 1:18:19.000 Okay, well I can't tell you on air because but 1:18:19.080 --> 1:18:21.960 like I can't tell you on air, but it's it's 1:18:22.040 --> 1:18:27.000 it's it's amazing. And the and the the plot moves 1:18:27.080 --> 1:18:29.840 from episode one to episode two, it moves entirely in 1:18:29.880 --> 1:18:33.760 a different direction, and when you get to the final episode, 1:18:34.120 --> 1:18:36.360 I think we nail the landing so well that it 1:18:36.520 --> 1:18:42.160 is a great, emotional, amazing I'm so excited for people 1:18:42.160 --> 1:18:44.320 to see it. No, that's good, No, that's awesome. Though 1:18:44.320 --> 1:18:45.559 I wanted to do it, I don't know how to 1:18:45.560 --> 1:18:47.559 promote something like that. It's not stand up so it's 1:18:47.560 --> 1:18:49.080 like I can't just tell a joke about it. It's 1:18:49.120 --> 1:18:52.960 like everyone did a great job. You know, let's do 1:18:53.000 --> 1:18:55.200 a shot the free bird. So you were twenty second. 1:18:55.200 --> 1:18:58.000 I'm not supposed to I'm not supposed to announce it 1:18:58.080 --> 1:19:01.200 until Christmas Day here in DC when I host a 1:19:01.800 --> 1:19:02.519 never mind. 1:19:04.680 --> 1:19:05.760 That's what I'm. That's what I'm. 1:19:05.760 --> 1:19:14.040 That's when we announced Christmas Day against the Cowboys. Netflix 1:19:14.080 --> 1:19:21.280 is gonna call me the the best sketch. Dam don't 1:19:21.320 --> 1:19:22.000 sell your. 1:19:21.840 --> 1:19:27.840 Hot listen to that boys. 1:19:28.320 --> 1:19:30.080 Oh yeah, she's great, amazing. 1:19:31.280 --> 1:19:35.120 Damn, hey, when did you almost kiss the cold kidman. 1:19:34.880 --> 1:19:35.640 On the lips? 1:19:36.400 --> 1:19:40.160 New's we even announced that. But I'm doing that show again. 1:19:42.080 --> 1:19:45.439 Uh what are you rolling your eyes out? My queer, 1:19:45.479 --> 1:19:47.160 I'm going down the toilet. 1:19:47.640 --> 1:19:52.479 So Keith Urban liked me right, which tracks right now? 1:19:52.479 --> 1:19:54.320 It does not need a cocaine budget. 1:19:55.040 --> 1:19:59.479 He loved me. He you know, I'm not evn mess around. 1:20:01.240 --> 1:20:03.759 He was the host of New Yar's Eve on CBS 1:20:03.840 --> 1:20:06.599 last year. Correct I swear to god, he said this. 1:20:08.080 --> 1:20:12.599 I did my first read with Jelly and I'd made 1:20:12.600 --> 1:20:14.760 like a gay joke, you know, right, And I wasn't 1:20:14.800 --> 1:20:17.519 supposed to make it. And Keith Urban loved it, and 1:20:17.560 --> 1:20:19.519 he was it was about being bears or what you know, 1:20:19.520 --> 1:20:22.080 where someone's fantasy. I don't forget what it was. Keith 1:20:22.160 --> 1:20:25.360 Urban goes, you should host next year, and I was like, yeah, right, 1:20:25.760 --> 1:20:28.880 so I'm hosting this year. I swear about. Keith Urban 1:20:28.960 --> 1:20:31.200 said that until at the end of the night, it 1:20:31.280 --> 1:20:34.240 was it was everyone was, I spray champagne and we're 1:20:34.240 --> 1:20:35.880 all having a great time. I didn't take my shirt off, 1:20:35.920 --> 1:20:37.760 which is a big thing with CBS. Don't take your 1:20:37.760 --> 1:20:41.240 shirt off. I'm spraying champagne. Keith Urban comes up and 1:20:41.880 --> 1:20:44.320 grabs Leanne and gives her a kiss, and I was like, ah, 1:20:44.360 --> 1:20:46.640 that's what we're doing, you know. And Bunny gives me 1:20:46.680 --> 1:20:48.960 a kiss, and I'm like, oh, I give Jelly a kiss. 1:20:49.280 --> 1:20:52.200 I give a kiss. And then Nicole Gibbons there and 1:20:52.200 --> 1:20:58.160 I was like, I'm giving her a kiss, and she 1:20:58.280 --> 1:21:01.720 was like I literally went in for the kiss and 1:21:01.840 --> 1:21:06.280 she went and then instead like this and again in 1:21:06.320 --> 1:21:10.400 her face. I'm really excited for a new movie. It 1:21:10.520 --> 1:21:13.000 was so bad. Leanne comes up to me and he goes, 1:21:13.040 --> 1:21:14.760 did you just try to kiss Nicole Gimman? I go, 1:21:15.320 --> 1:21:18.720 is it noticeable? She goes, you were We were standing 1:21:18.840 --> 1:21:21.920 in the center of the state, like in the center 1:21:22.040 --> 1:21:24.559 of the the walkout was where And I was like, 1:21:26.200 --> 1:21:28.840 Leann's like open mouths. I go, no, kind of, but 1:21:30.360 --> 1:21:33.040 she's so beautiful. She's so beautiful. 1:21:35.720 --> 1:21:37.880 And then the cruise you had mentioned the cruise is 1:21:37.960 --> 1:21:41.360 the cruise? Is Is this the first cruise? No secone 1:21:41.439 --> 1:21:42.920 second cruise, second cruise. 1:21:42.680 --> 1:21:45.880 Second cruise. It's great, the best, It's the most fun 1:21:45.920 --> 1:21:48.000 you're ever gonna have, is it? I mean? But is it? 1:21:48.040 --> 1:21:51.280 Is it out of control? So last year or the 1:21:51.720 --> 1:21:53.559 time we did it before? We ran out of vodka 1:21:53.600 --> 1:21:56.280 on the first night, so yes, So they sent a 1:21:56.360 --> 1:21:58.839 ship back to the land to go get more vodka 1:21:58.920 --> 1:22:01.360 and bring him back to the boat. Right, and we 1:22:01.479 --> 1:22:05.600 set records for gambling, for booze, for everything we do. 1:22:05.720 --> 1:22:11.240 The smallest penis all right on the boat. 1:22:11.680 --> 1:22:13.840 And I give five thousand dollars for anyone who's got 1:22:13.840 --> 1:22:16.040 the smallest one on the boat. And by the way, 1:22:16.080 --> 1:22:17.120 all you got to do is show it to me. 1:22:17.120 --> 1:22:21.160 I'll give you five thousand dollars. It is the fun 1:22:21.240 --> 1:22:24.040 If you have a small penis right, come on my 1:22:24.080 --> 1:22:25.360 cruiser and make your money back. 1:22:25.520 --> 1:22:27.080 I guarantee it is. 1:22:27.479 --> 1:22:29.400 It is the funnest time I've ever had. The comics 1:22:29.439 --> 1:22:32.479 we bring on are more about are they a good hang, 1:22:32.720 --> 1:22:35.400 right and a great comic as opposed to like, I'm 1:22:35.560 --> 1:22:38.200 not but there's certain comics that are great comics but 1:22:38.280 --> 1:22:40.720 really tough to be around. That we go, I just 1:22:41.320 --> 1:22:44.280 this isn't your thing, right, Let's bring on great comics. 1:22:43.880 --> 1:22:45.080 That are fun to be around. 1:22:45.120 --> 1:22:47.120 Yeah, like, are you garbage guys? They're not doing it 1:22:47.160 --> 1:22:50.800 this year, but they're they're amazing hangs, right, So we 1:22:50.800 --> 1:22:52.280 put them up at a gambling table. 1:22:52.520 --> 1:22:54.599 I mean, it's just it's a blast. It's a blast. 1:22:54.720 --> 1:22:57.519 The I want the belly flop contest, which we learned 1:22:57.560 --> 1:22:59.000 is a huge thing on cruise ships. 1:22:59.040 --> 1:23:01.280 Amazing. Who know. You know what we do is we 1:23:01.280 --> 1:23:03.400 bring Miss Pat and then we tell Miss Pat, you 1:23:03.439 --> 1:23:05.360 can bring as many black people as you want, and 1:23:05.360 --> 1:23:08.080 that'll be our black section. And so she brings like 1:23:08.120 --> 1:23:10.439 fifteen black it's all her whole family. I set them 1:23:10.439 --> 1:23:13.479 all up. I put gimal cabins and then they run 1:23:13.560 --> 1:23:17.240 the afternoon dance party and they make it. When we 1:23:17.240 --> 1:23:19.040 did the smallest penis on the boat, Miss Pat was 1:23:19.080 --> 1:23:23.960 the judge. She's like, I never see anything like that. 1:23:24.080 --> 1:23:29.200 Are you giving me asn't any Yeah it was. It's 1:23:29.600 --> 1:23:32.120 the cruise is crazy, right, And I don't think it's 1:23:32.160 --> 1:23:33.840 on sale to the general public right now. 1:23:34.240 --> 1:23:36.960 I think it might be you better somebody like if 1:23:37.000 --> 1:23:38.720 somebody should check, somebody should. 1:23:38.479 --> 1:23:41.559 Yeah, someone check it's uh Burt chreisercruise dot com. But 1:23:41.600 --> 1:23:47.439 it's uh, it's it's amazing comedy, amazing podcasts. I'm all live. 1:23:47.680 --> 1:23:50.800 Oh, pre sale, it's one We're not. 1:23:51.080 --> 1:23:53.719 We're not fully on well because you know, I wanted 1:23:53.720 --> 1:23:55.320 to give time for the people that did last the 1:23:55.400 --> 1:23:58.200 last time to get their tickets, right, and so yeah, 1:23:58.280 --> 1:24:01.599 we're we're we're tracking. I mean, it's gonna sell out, 1:24:01.840 --> 1:24:05.360 but it's just at a certain point, you're like, we 1:24:05.400 --> 1:24:07.320 tried to do a bigger boat. We tried to do Mexico. 1:24:07.360 --> 1:24:09.640 We tried to do bigger things, but I just like 1:24:09.680 --> 1:24:12.240 the energy of this boat. The Norwegian Jewel is awesome. 1:24:12.920 --> 1:24:15.000 The general on sale is today, though. 1:24:15.320 --> 1:24:18.840 Get your tickets today two pm today. 1:24:20.000 --> 1:24:20.920 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 1:24:20.960 --> 1:24:24.360 And I have not announced this and unlike everything else, 1:24:24.400 --> 1:24:28.760 I haven't announced. So if you want to do that 1:24:28.800 --> 1:24:32.160 as a Christmas present to the cruise, the cruise, but 1:24:32.200 --> 1:24:34.400 the cruise is next year, I know. But to get 1:24:34.439 --> 1:24:36.439 the tickets now. For the tickets now and then this 1:24:36.560 --> 1:24:39.040 year for Christmas, go hey, I got us the cruise. 1:24:39.479 --> 1:24:41.800 You can pay and down payments, you can. You can 1:24:42.080 --> 1:24:45.080 book your cabin for I think like three hundred bucks, right, 1:24:45.600 --> 1:24:48.599 And I will do. Because I always had a hard time, 1:24:48.640 --> 1:24:50.320 like I would take my kids on trips. I don't 1:24:50.360 --> 1:24:52.320 have a hard time presenting that as a present, right, 1:24:52.479 --> 1:24:54.880 So if you want, I will as a cameo. It's 1:24:54.920 --> 1:24:57.120 not a cameo, you're just doing the cruise. I will 1:24:57.120 --> 1:25:00.439 do a video presentation to you and whoever giving the 1:25:00.479 --> 1:25:03.120 cruise two for Christmas, so you can show them that 1:25:03.160 --> 1:25:06.320 for Christmas' cool. I just came up with that last night. 1:25:06.360 --> 1:25:09.240 I was like, because I'm taking my daughters on a 1:25:09.280 --> 1:25:11.000 trip for Christmas, and I was like, I wish there 1:25:11.040 --> 1:25:13.799 was a better way than just printing out a picture 1:25:13.840 --> 1:25:14.360 of Italy. 1:25:16.160 --> 1:25:18.080 Wait, I thought you were coming to DC for Christmas. 1:25:18.200 --> 1:25:22.000 No, I'm a Christmas present. Oh oh oh, I'll be 1:25:22.000 --> 1:25:28.759 in DC for Christmas for Netflix, NFL me, the Washington 1:25:29.000 --> 1:25:33.080 Commanders and the Dallas Cowboys. I would love to announce 1:25:33.080 --> 1:25:35.360 all the names, but tomser is not cool with it. 1:25:39.040 --> 1:25:42.920 All Right, very good, very good. The permission to Party 1:25:42.920 --> 1:25:43.400 World Tour? 1:25:43.439 --> 1:25:44.559 What's no? 1:25:44.560 --> 1:25:46.720 No, no, permission to Party World Tour? 1:25:46.800 --> 1:25:51.040 Tonight, CFG Bank Arena in Baltimore, Sunday, Aultrea Theater in Richmond. 1:25:51.479 --> 1:25:55.240 The cruise goes on sale at two at two at two, 1:25:55.520 --> 1:25:56.719 and then yeah. 1:25:56.520 --> 1:25:57.760 That's good for now. That's good for now. 1:25:57.840 --> 1:25:58.360 What are you doing? 1:25:58.400 --> 1:25:58.640 What are you? 1:25:58.960 --> 1:25:59.120 I know? 1:25:59.160 --> 1:26:07.160 I'm thinking playing? Is this Margaret Price playing? Caught my 1:26:07.320 --> 1:26:09.400 jee three eleven? 1:26:11.400 --> 1:26:14.519 If you tried to open Mountain kiss his ex. 1:26:14.400 --> 1:26:29.200 Wife pass him in the key urban doesn't sound more 1:26:29.200 --> 1:26:32.080 like he's sweat sweat. 1:26:33.120 --> 1:26:34.759 I did, and I made it awkward. 1:26:35.320 --> 1:26:38.760 Really cuse sweat, Cuth sweat, Keuth sweat. He was like, 1:26:38.840 --> 1:26:41.400 I know, I was like, nouth sweat sweat. He was 1:26:41.439 --> 1:26:43.240 like all right, and then I was like, good sweat. 1:26:43.240 --> 1:26:45.240 And then he turned in and he's like good sweat. 1:26:45.240 --> 1:26:52.000 I was like, yeah, exactly, give me better music, close house, 1:26:53.960 --> 1:26:58.360 something real, something that moves me. You're so good at 1:26:58.400 --> 1:27:01.200 this and you kind of dropped the ball today. And 1:27:01.640 --> 1:27:03.360 maybe it's for bull Rush. Maybe it's the fact you 1:27:03.400 --> 1:27:06.240 never worked for an organization. I don't know, but I 1:27:06.280 --> 1:27:08.640 feel like there's a part of you that this is 1:27:08.640 --> 1:27:09.439 what he did. 1:27:10.600 --> 1:27:12.680 Keith Herman, there's some massive. 1:27:12.320 --> 1:27:16.519 Songs that's pretty good. 1:27:22.360 --> 1:27:22.840 Keth Sweat. 1:27:22.840 --> 1:27:27.599 Stop stop stop. We're going in the wrong direction. Can 1:27:27.640 --> 1:27:32.439 you can you okay? Can I podcast coming out? Marcus King? 1:27:32.840 --> 1:27:33.000 Right? 1:27:33.240 --> 1:27:36.160 The song is on and on. It's on and on, okay, 1:27:36.760 --> 1:27:39.840 and I'm I want to I love Marcus King, but 1:27:39.960 --> 1:27:45.560 this song spoke to me in a crazy way. Do 1:27:45.640 --> 1:27:49.920 you believe Dangelo died with those apps? 1:27:50.000 --> 1:27:51.000 You think he'd never die? 1:27:51.080 --> 1:27:56.439 Right? I like with those abs as you grab your Do. 1:27:56.360 --> 1:27:58.840 You know how much fat I had to touch to 1:27:58.920 --> 1:28:01.519 get agree with that ticket? All right? Let me, hey, 1:28:01.560 --> 1:28:02.960 hang on, let me let me. I'll tell you what 1:28:02.960 --> 1:28:05.160 I'm gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna give you my phone 1:28:06.040 --> 1:28:18.200 and I'm gonna I'm gonna give you. 1:28:14.360 --> 1:28:17.320 It's half a bottle and you're a third of that. 1:28:21.520 --> 1:28:24.040 Well, if you go out and you get too drunk 1:28:24.600 --> 1:28:26.920 calling me asking me to pick you. 1:28:26.960 --> 1:28:27.639 There might be an. 1:28:31.040 --> 1:28:31.240 There. 1:28:31.280 --> 1:28:32.920 All right, just get out of this because I think 1:28:33.360 --> 1:28:34.800 I think there's an F bomb in here and I 1:28:34.760 --> 1:28:36.040 don't want to have some sensor. 1:28:38.439 --> 1:28:41.160 All right, let's let's let's let's get out of this. 1:28:40.400 --> 1:28:43.000 How do we get out of Are you staying Ford 1:28:43.280 --> 1:28:47.640 or no? A hundred Okay, I'm not going anywhere. You 1:28:47.640 --> 1:28:49.200 realize this is my favorite thing in the world. 1:28:49.320 --> 1:28:51.400 Right, Okay, I was told there was an excell time. 1:28:51.520 --> 1:28:56.960 Just so you know, I know the Baltimore I'm a 1:28:57.120 --> 1:28:58.080 hundred and eighty poll. 1:28:59.400 --> 1:29:00.639 Let's see it for it's right on the. 1:29:03.520 --> 1:29:12.679 Lonely thought you lucky here say I'm sorry again, Sensor, 1:29:15.360 --> 1:29:16.240 it doesn't. 1:29:16.000 --> 1:29:18.479 Mean like that. 1:29:19.080 --> 1:29:24.560 Get a little bit of gonna take it. 1:29:24.640 --> 1:29:27.000 You're gonna take a sly nude like you're leanne. 1:29:26.760 --> 1:29:32.439 When I the other day I got an invite from 1:29:32.880 --> 1:29:36.880 And if I need you, if you're black and listening, 1:29:38.000 --> 1:29:39.920 I need you to back me up on this. But 1:29:40.080 --> 1:29:41.439 if you're black and you live in DC, you know 1:29:41.479 --> 1:29:45.519 what I'm about to say. Okay, Chris, Dave, Corey, Henry 1:29:45.720 --> 1:29:50.840 and Marcus King. Right, Oh, an emotional I can write 1:29:50.880 --> 1:29:52.640 invite to go see them at the Blue Note in 1:29:52.800 --> 1:29:57.400 Los Angeles. Now, I've always wanted This is a bad reference. 1:29:57.400 --> 1:29:59.360 I wish I had a different comp but I always 1:29:59.400 --> 1:30:05.120 wanted to be like Bill Cosby. It's a bad camp. 1:30:05.640 --> 1:30:08.720 But if you're my age, you understand what I'm saying. Sure, no, 1:30:08.880 --> 1:30:11.519 but you wanted to be that cool dad that took 1:30:11.560 --> 1:30:14.200 his wife out on dates and did cool. That was 1:30:14.280 --> 1:30:17.880 the guy he was before he rapes everybody. You know. 1:30:18.280 --> 1:30:19.640 You know what I'm saying, right, It's like on the 1:30:19.720 --> 1:30:22.240 Cosby Show. He was the dad that went to the 1:30:22.280 --> 1:30:25.040 cool jazz club and he had drinks with his wife 1:30:25.120 --> 1:30:27.840 and he loved his family, but they still lived a life. 1:30:27.880 --> 1:30:29.200 And I wanted to be that guy. My dad was 1:30:29.240 --> 1:30:31.439 not that guy. My dad ran marathons, He did his 1:30:31.520 --> 1:30:33.960 own thing. We did our own thing. We all would 1:30:34.000 --> 1:30:36.160 meet up at Disney or what you know or whatever, right, 1:30:36.760 --> 1:30:40.200 coach my baseball whatever. I just thought that that that 1:30:40.520 --> 1:30:42.519 that version of a dad would be cool. And then 1:30:42.520 --> 1:30:46.800 I get this invite from to anyone that's black and 1:30:46.920 --> 1:30:51.759 listening knows two of the best jazz musicians in the world. 1:30:52.120 --> 1:30:56.320 Stevie Wonder's favorite musician is Corey Henry Right and Chris 1:30:56.439 --> 1:31:03.000 Dave is the best drummer effort and Marcus King who 1:31:03.120 --> 1:31:05.400 is a prodigy guitarist. And I get an invite and 1:31:05.479 --> 1:31:08.000 I take thirteen people to go see their show, and 1:31:08.080 --> 1:31:10.880 at fifty three years old, I'm sitting there and I 1:31:11.000 --> 1:31:13.000 go backstage and I hang out with them and we 1:31:13.120 --> 1:31:15.240 talk and we just I'm just to a stand up 1:31:15.240 --> 1:31:17.000 and messing around, and we have a great and there's 1:31:17.040 --> 1:31:18.800 no awkwardness. And I go back and I watch the 1:31:18.840 --> 1:31:20.720 show and I watch three of the greatest musicians in 1:31:20.720 --> 1:31:23.519 the world play, and I realize I'm living. I am 1:31:23.560 --> 1:31:26.360 the fifty three year old I wanted to be. Isn't 1:31:26.360 --> 1:31:29.080 that crazy to go like I wanted as a kid. 1:31:29.120 --> 1:31:31.040 I wanted to be cool, and I wanted to have 1:31:31.120 --> 1:31:33.560 a great family, but I wanted to be tapped in 1:31:34.040 --> 1:31:37.960 And here I am appreciating jazz and I'm like, oh, 1:31:38.560 --> 1:31:41.880 this is amazing. I a wish everyone had the opportunity 1:31:42.200 --> 1:31:42.479 to be. 1:31:42.680 --> 1:31:53.760 The solid. 1:31:55.760 --> 1:32:00.599 You know what cool? You just having all those win 1:32:05.160 --> 1:32:06.400 All right, give me a quick break. 1:32:06.560 --> 1:32:08.400 Diane and Bert have dirt. 1:32:09.200 --> 1:32:10.160 Oh and I have tickets to. 1:32:10.160 --> 1:32:12.519 Give away to your show. Please, I'll do that next. 1:32:12.560 --> 1:32:14.040 All right, give me a quick break. It's Ellie in 1:32:14.040 --> 1:32:21.559 the morning. All right, we got to get into some dirt. 1:32:22.320 --> 1:32:25.240 Right after that, I will have tickets for you can 1:32:25.280 --> 1:32:26.200 go see Burt Kreischer. 1:32:26.840 --> 1:32:29.439 He will be in Baltimore tonight cfg Bank Arena. 1:32:29.520 --> 1:32:32.439 Not only do you get tickets to go see Bert, 1:32:33.680 --> 1:32:35.720 you'll get to go backstage afterwards and meet Bert. 1:32:35.760 --> 1:32:37.040 I don't know if you know that you're doing a 1:32:37.080 --> 1:32:38.560 meeting great words, Yes I do. 1:32:38.720 --> 1:32:39.559 I'm so excited. 1:32:41.000 --> 1:32:44.200 If you want COVID come backstage. Is this by Bunny? 1:32:44.760 --> 1:32:53.000 This is by Bunny? This weeks of super Bowl. Look, 1:32:53.040 --> 1:32:58.240 I'm not I don'ts on politics, but I love it. Yeah, 1:32:58.280 --> 1:33:07.120 on vacation, sweet are we? I'm not I'm not talking 1:33:07.160 --> 1:33:09.040 and I'm being dead cherious. This is what we're listening 1:33:09.080 --> 1:33:16.000 to for the super Bowl. Bout me at all? Either, 1:33:17.560 --> 1:33:24.040 I don't know you cancel either? Hold on, that's not 1:33:24.080 --> 1:33:24.880 gonna do any English. 1:33:27.560 --> 1:33:28.519 There's also that's all. 1:33:28.800 --> 1:33:35.360 Now Now I like it. 1:33:35.680 --> 1:33:38.479 You know what the middle finger of the world hold 1:33:38.560 --> 1:33:39.200 in Spanish? 1:33:39.400 --> 1:33:42.880 I love it, don't even give. I would give subtitles, 1:33:42.920 --> 1:33:45.400 but I get the wrong subtitles. I go. I don't 1:33:45.439 --> 1:33:48.160 brother my teeth in the mornings, I judge them in 1:33:48.240 --> 1:33:50.920 the evenings. You don't know who I am. I right 1:33:51.000 --> 1:33:56.080 horses to work in the mornings. I love this. You 1:33:56.120 --> 1:33:59.640 should be able to choose two of one subtitle, like 1:33:59.800 --> 1:34:02.960 the actual words or the fun words, and a comedian 1:34:03.000 --> 1:34:05.760 should write the fun words and so that they can 1:34:05.880 --> 1:34:08.040 enjoy it. Because middle of America is gonna hate this. 1:34:08.840 --> 1:34:11.840 You realize this is this is wildly polarizing. 1:34:12.040 --> 1:34:16.240 Yeah, of course, yeah, No, I mean I get I 1:34:16.400 --> 1:34:19.599 get that it's polarizing it at all. 1:34:20.200 --> 1:34:22.320 Yeah, but you grew up speaking French or something like 1:34:24.320 --> 1:34:27.479 US one language. People are like, yo, do we gotta 1:34:27.520 --> 1:34:30.519 get on to a linga to enjoy the super Bowl. 1:34:31.400 --> 1:34:33.960 I'm not, by the way, I'm not party affiliated at all. 1:34:34.160 --> 1:34:37.040 I'm a dead center guy, right, But that is crazy? 1:34:37.120 --> 1:34:42.840 Who picked the Who picked this? Trump? No, he didn't, Dude, 1:34:42.840 --> 1:34:44.600 if he had his way, he'd send them back to 1:34:44.680 --> 1:34:47.120 that garbage on the news. I'm in the first place. 1:34:48.240 --> 1:34:50.000 I'm doing another shot. This is gonna be a rough 1:34:50.080 --> 1:34:54.400 super Bowl, so I'm gonna I'll tell you what I'm gonna. 1:34:54.320 --> 1:34:56.760 Like, let's hang I gotta have a shot now. February 1:34:56.920 --> 1:34:58.000 is right around the corner. 1:34:58.680 --> 1:35:08.000 That is is this another dueling? All right? 1:35:08.080 --> 1:35:14.280 That doesn't mean I'm in This is the most thing 1:35:14.360 --> 1:35:15.000 I've ever seen. 1:35:16.120 --> 1:35:17.320 This is so cool. 1:35:18.160 --> 1:35:22.400 Yeah, people are gonna watch this super Bowl than ever 1:35:22.680 --> 1:35:26.000 because it's so it's so marketing. 1:35:26.120 --> 1:35:27.200 It's so marketing. 1:35:27.520 --> 1:35:29.120 It's like, yo, put a guy in the tether. 1:35:29.240 --> 1:35:31.040 Do you think that there were people I'm being serious. 1:35:31.080 --> 1:35:32.880 Don't you think there were people that were like, I 1:35:32.920 --> 1:35:34.120 don't like Kendrick Lamar. 1:35:35.240 --> 1:35:38.360 Yeah, white people, Yeah, they didn't at all. I didn't 1:35:38.360 --> 1:35:39.240 mind at all. 1:35:40.960 --> 1:35:42.960 Yeah, but I like Kendrick Lamar. 1:35:43.280 --> 1:35:44.240 I like Kendrick Lamar. 1:35:44.479 --> 1:35:44.679 Yeah. 1:35:45.040 --> 1:35:46.439 And then who was in the year book? 1:35:46.439 --> 1:35:48.080 There was probably like when Prince did it, there were 1:35:48.080 --> 1:35:49.599 probably people who are like, this is ridiculous. 1:35:49.640 --> 1:35:53.760 I don't want to watch hang on, so just argument sake, right, 1:35:55.280 --> 1:35:57.840 can't we like is there like, is there someone we 1:35:57.880 --> 1:36:00.560 can all celebrate? Like like it's like, I'm not no 1:36:00.760 --> 1:36:03.400 nothing against bad Bunny, but I'm saying like when when 1:36:03.560 --> 1:36:06.880 Doctor Dre and Eminem and fifty cented it Snoop Dogg. 1:36:07.160 --> 1:36:10.760 People who hated that do you think yes there, I 1:36:10.800 --> 1:36:13.240 mean maybe not maybe, maybe not a lot. 1:36:15.520 --> 1:36:19.840 I love that she speaks in mind, so I'm probably 1:36:19.880 --> 1:36:20.840 people that didn't like that. 1:36:21.400 --> 1:36:25.800 Okay, So nobody was yelling and screaming about Sandler putting 1:36:25.840 --> 1:36:26.880 bad Bunny in his movie. 1:36:27.000 --> 1:36:28.719 Nobody was yelling and streaming about. 1:36:28.520 --> 1:36:32.200 That Bad Bunny isn't Sandler's movie? 1:36:33.120 --> 1:36:33.280 Yeah? 1:36:33.360 --> 1:36:34.120 Who's bad Bunny? 1:36:34.120 --> 1:36:38.519 I don't think I know who he is? What movie 1:36:38.640 --> 1:36:42.080 was he? Habby Gilmour? Who was he? 1:36:43.400 --> 1:36:44.880 Caddy here? 1:36:45.120 --> 1:36:46.080 Hispanic caddy guy? 1:36:46.320 --> 1:36:47.880 Did you see Habby Gilmour? 1:36:50.439 --> 1:36:50.519 Did? 1:36:50.640 --> 1:36:51.960 Who? Did you think that is that? 1:36:52.240 --> 1:36:57.120 I just thought it was an extra? A? 1:36:58.560 --> 1:36:58.720 Yes? 1:37:00.160 --> 1:37:01.519 How bad Buddy's really big? 1:37:01.720 --> 1:37:01.880 Right? 1:37:03.000 --> 1:37:05.200 Enormous eighty million listeners a month. 1:37:05.720 --> 1:37:10.960 Yes, it's cool. It's like telling me your wife can 1:37:11.040 --> 1:37:11.559 do a setup. 1:37:11.560 --> 1:37:14.960 I don't care. I know, I don't mean that, but 1:37:15.000 --> 1:37:17.600 it's not done effect me right, No, maybe me. But 1:37:17.680 --> 1:37:19.439 like I'm saying, like, I don't know bad Buddy. I 1:37:19.479 --> 1:37:20.000 don't listen to this. 1:37:20.520 --> 1:37:22.920 I don't by the way, I don't understand the word either. 1:37:23.520 --> 1:37:26.120 But he's a hell of a performer. That's fine, would 1:37:26.280 --> 1:37:29.280 kill him to one of English. So I need to 1:37:29.360 --> 1:37:33.360 go like I'm not this isn't. I mean, like, I'm 1:37:33.400 --> 1:37:36.000 not a bottle service dude, so I don't know what 1:37:36.120 --> 1:37:40.280 he's saying. It sounds cool, but it just sounds like 1:37:40.640 --> 1:37:47.040 like oh cool. I mean, I okay, ready, and I'm 1:37:47.040 --> 1:37:53.200 gonna say something. H it's aggressive. I don't I if 1:37:53.680 --> 1:37:56.920 maybe if you're not speaking in English, I can't get 1:37:57.400 --> 1:38:01.120 the thing of the song, like you remember words, you 1:38:01.120 --> 1:38:04.880 remember ninety nine red balloons? Yes, okay, let's well, there's 1:38:05.200 --> 1:38:07.479 so this is only for us grown ups, right. There's 1:38:07.520 --> 1:38:09.680 two versions. And I then didn't like the German one. 1:38:11.200 --> 1:38:12.400 I was like, I was like, I don't know what 1:38:12.439 --> 1:38:14.920 they're saying, and it was lost on me. It was 1:38:14.960 --> 1:38:17.960 the same song. Play play it, play right now, play 1:38:18.000 --> 1:38:18.400 it right now. 1:38:18.560 --> 1:38:19.479 It was lost on me. 1:38:19.640 --> 1:38:22.880 And I'm I gotta explain this because I'm gonna I'm 1:38:22.880 --> 1:38:25.360 gonna get in trouble. I'm certain, but I'm not. I'm 1:38:25.400 --> 1:38:27.960 not upset about Bad Bunny playing for the Super Bowl. 1:38:28.160 --> 1:38:31.360 I'm excited to see the outrage. That's what I'm excited 1:38:31.439 --> 1:38:34.200 for sure. Yeah, that's gonna be fun and watch it 1:38:34.320 --> 1:38:36.960 and watch it as a as a vessel to go 1:38:37.479 --> 1:38:39.559 this is what it is. I can't wait to see 1:38:39.680 --> 1:38:44.519 how I feel. But I will say I do understand 1:38:45.360 --> 1:38:50.880 the outrage because it's like it actually is. I mean, 1:38:51.920 --> 1:38:54.679 it's not for everyone. No, it's in a different language, 1:38:54.880 --> 1:38:58.000 but that's okay, it is okay, it's in New America. 1:38:58.160 --> 1:39:03.599 Progress doesn't feel fun. Progress doesn't feel fun and hurts 1:39:03.640 --> 1:39:07.880 it first, Yeah, pronouns weren't fun, right, and then your 1:39:07.960 --> 1:39:10.320 daughter said calls themselves day and You're like, I guess 1:39:10.360 --> 1:39:11.800 I gotta do this for the rest of my life. 1:39:12.439 --> 1:39:16.240 Progress isn't fun, but it's good, right, Yeah, So I'm 1:39:16.280 --> 1:39:17.439 there for it. I'm there for it. 1:39:17.880 --> 1:39:20.160 And yeah, like if Celine Dion. 1:39:20.160 --> 1:39:23.240 Oh God, here we go, Yeah, sang all. 1:39:23.560 --> 1:39:26.439 Her songs in French, right, we'd be like, there's one, 1:39:27.840 --> 1:39:28.400 give me one? 1:39:29.640 --> 1:39:34.000 Can I just get one? Like God, bless America, you know, gimme, 1:39:34.160 --> 1:39:35.559 gimme ninety nine red balloons? 1:39:36.200 --> 1:39:37.960 Which version you means? 1:39:39.000 --> 1:39:39.280 Okay? 1:39:39.400 --> 1:39:40.599 Wait, which version do you want? 1:39:40.880 --> 1:39:43.720 Start? Start German because there's people that have never heard 1:39:43.760 --> 1:39:44.000 this song. 1:39:44.080 --> 1:40:07.360 Okay, Okay, Oh wow, this is a banger, shinely finish 1:40:07.600 --> 1:40:08.760 fun none. 1:40:10.520 --> 1:40:19.320 Okay, fund Okay, now now go to American one hold 1:40:19.360 --> 1:40:22.439 on now, now listen, listen. You just heard you heard 1:40:22.520 --> 1:40:24.840 that song right, and you were like, oh cool, we're 1:40:24.880 --> 1:40:27.840 in Germany. We gotta get socks. It's called the War's coming. 1:40:29.120 --> 1:40:32.599 Y'alla play the real one in a little toss shop. 1:40:34.000 --> 1:40:37.559 Bones for the money. We've gone set them free. 1:40:37.800 --> 1:40:39.760 At the break of Dame to. 1:40:39.920 --> 1:40:42.200 One by one they were gone. 1:40:43.080 --> 1:40:46.720 Back up bass box and the softness flash. 1:40:46.600 --> 1:40:51.920 The message something's on the floating in the summer sky. 1:40:53.040 --> 1:40:58.320 Ninety nine Red Bons Go by Dude. 1:40:58.360 --> 1:40:59.280 Americans so much better. 1:41:00.439 --> 1:41:01.600 It's more comfortable. 1:41:02.240 --> 1:41:03.519 No, yeah, I know this whole thing. 1:41:04.520 --> 1:41:05.400 No, no, I get it. 1:41:05.680 --> 1:41:07.559 You know, I get it. I bet if you're German 1:41:07.640 --> 1:41:10.400 that sounds really great, and when you're American it sounds awesome. 1:41:10.560 --> 1:41:12.920 Listen bad bunny, You're awesome. You're awesome. 1:41:12.960 --> 1:41:13.400 You're awesome. 1:41:13.439 --> 1:41:17.200 It's undeniable. I'm just saying, bro. It was in English, 1:41:17.240 --> 1:41:20.600 I could sing along with it instead of singing like 1:41:20.680 --> 1:41:26.000 I'm shining sn I don't know what you're saying. How 1:41:26.080 --> 1:41:30.640 great this is in America? In nineteen eighty two, this 1:41:30.840 --> 1:41:34.080 was release and then they played the German one. 1:41:34.200 --> 1:41:36.000 I was like, whoa hold on, ready, here we go. 1:41:38.040 --> 1:41:47.040 Reasca. Her voice sounds so when you sing in English, 1:41:47.479 --> 1:41:59.800 you sound like you you'll never know what it's like 1:42:00.160 --> 1:42:02.920 to be curious about your sexuality. In nineteen eighty two, 1:42:03.080 --> 1:42:06.360 it's no your heserosexual, but also going yo. I could 1:42:06.439 --> 1:42:10.960 be either way. Driving down two seventy five, going to 1:42:11.040 --> 1:42:14.360 Berkeley prep hearing this song. You're going, man, I understand 1:42:14.439 --> 1:42:18.519 dator whit fun? 1:42:19.000 --> 1:42:19.400 This is. 1:42:23.600 --> 1:42:27.320 War sounds very different in German. That's all I'll say. 1:42:27.479 --> 1:42:28.080 Can you doish? 1:42:28.120 --> 1:42:30.600 You know what I mean when you sing this is 1:42:30.680 --> 1:42:38.519 war in German? Kyle's never heard this song? Okay, all right, 1:42:38.560 --> 1:42:40.240 can we get into some yes please? 1:42:40.280 --> 1:42:40.559 All right? 1:42:40.640 --> 1:42:43.799 And by the way, sew it here for Bad Bunny. 1:42:44.920 --> 1:42:47.360 I'm so here for Bad Bundy. No, okay, I got it. 1:42:47.760 --> 1:42:49.400 I'm not that guy. 1:42:50.160 --> 1:42:51.519 But I can't wait for the outrage. 1:42:52.560 --> 1:42:53.679 It's gonna be crazy. 1:42:55.240 --> 1:42:57.559 All anyone should do is go to Shane Gillis's Twitter 1:42:58.000 --> 1:42:59.800 and wait for his first text. 1:43:00.240 --> 1:43:02.040 Love, he'sould just if he was smarty? 1:43:02.160 --> 1:43:02.280 Right? 1:43:02.479 --> 1:43:04.840 Love the halftime show question mark? 1:43:06.800 --> 1:43:08.679 All right, let's get into some dirt please. 1:43:08.760 --> 1:43:11.280 I don't forget Commanders playing early on Sunday. They are 1:43:11.320 --> 1:43:14.120 in Spain face off against the Miami Dolphins, so that'll 1:43:14.120 --> 1:43:16.400 be at nine to thirty. Kyle's Ravens or in Cleveland 1:43:16.520 --> 1:43:19.320 on Sunday, really brown. 1:43:19.240 --> 1:43:21.760 And when the Clemanders are in Spain? Is the halftime show, 1:43:21.840 --> 1:43:25.720 Keith Urban, I bet it's not. I bet it's Jean 1:43:25.800 --> 1:43:29.360 Dell ron Law. I'm just saying. I'm not just saying. 1:43:29.640 --> 1:43:32.680 I'm just saying, I hope it'll sell like a like 1:43:32.760 --> 1:43:36.519 a lunatic up here. Half of DC has to agree 1:43:36.520 --> 1:43:38.960 with me. That's the numbers, right, fifty to fifty. 1:43:40.520 --> 1:43:42.880 Glenn Powell hosting SNL this week in Olivia. Dean is 1:43:42.880 --> 1:43:43.839 the music Gwel? 1:43:44.160 --> 1:43:48.680 Yes, yeah, I thought he was hold On not the 1:43:48.720 --> 1:43:49.599 political pundit. 1:43:50.320 --> 1:43:50.960 No, the actor. 1:43:52.080 --> 1:43:53.200 No, not Colin Powell. 1:43:53.280 --> 1:43:56.200 No, who's Glenn Powell? Thought he was the dead. 1:43:56.360 --> 1:44:00.800 Colin Powell or Glen Powell. Colin Powell's dead, Pal's dead. No, 1:44:01.960 --> 1:44:03.400 he's actually gonna be on the NL tomorrow. 1:44:03.560 --> 1:44:07.320 Glen Powell, the hop top gun Maverick. 1:44:10.479 --> 1:44:13.840 It was like Glen Palell. P there's a Glen Pale 1:44:13.880 --> 1:44:17.040 that was like a political pundit. Glen Pale, Are you 1:44:17.160 --> 1:44:22.240 thinking of Carmel? No, Glen Palell, Glen Palella, Glen. 1:44:22.120 --> 1:44:25.280 Pal Glen p you're an American actor? 1:44:25.479 --> 1:44:26.280 No, Glen Powell. 1:44:26.680 --> 1:44:27.600 No, actually it. 1:44:27.640 --> 1:44:30.280 Says say Glen Palell avoids political talk. 1:44:30.880 --> 1:44:34.320 Good for him, and he loves him. At the super Bowl, 1:44:39.120 --> 1:44:41.760 I can't wait. Do you realize what a loaded gun 1:44:41.840 --> 1:44:44.360 this is? Because they're gonna cut at the Super Bowl 1:44:44.840 --> 1:44:49.080 shots of celebrities going like are you cool with bad Bunny, 1:44:49.080 --> 1:44:51.800 and they're gonna have to be like, oh, yeah, you know, 1:44:52.160 --> 1:44:55.479 and then they're gonna cut people that aren't like Vince. 1:44:55.280 --> 1:44:57.240 Fallen, who's just like stone face. 1:44:59.040 --> 1:45:02.040 The bud. But I want to get invited to the 1:45:02.120 --> 1:45:07.360 Budweiser Box, right with with with Post Malone and and 1:45:07.680 --> 1:45:11.400 Shane and and Vince Fallen and all those guys that 1:45:11.600 --> 1:45:14.240 hack the Butweiser Box has to have the arms folded. 1:45:16.600 --> 1:45:18.519 And then if they were smart, they do this and 1:45:18.520 --> 1:45:22.160 they go bad. Buddy didn't Bad. 1:45:22.040 --> 1:45:24.000 Buddy and Post Wollon performed together at Coachella. 1:45:24.720 --> 1:45:27.800 I don't know, Buddy, I'm the wrong person. 1:45:28.680 --> 1:45:30.080 I thought you did a music podcast. 1:45:30.120 --> 1:45:35.400 Do you remember post was when he did hip hop 1:45:35.520 --> 1:45:35.960 or country? 1:45:36.240 --> 1:45:39.120 This would have been three so before. 1:45:39.280 --> 1:45:39.720 Who knows. 1:45:40.840 --> 1:45:45.760 I can't all these transitions. This is reminiscence of THESS. 1:45:46.880 --> 1:45:51.679 I told you it doesn't feel good. No one enjoys progress. 1:45:52.280 --> 1:45:54.840 I mean some people do, but most people go it 1:45:54.920 --> 1:45:57.760 feels uncomfortable to me, right, and then they go, it's 1:45:57.840 --> 1:46:00.719 not bad on the other side. Yeah, no, exactly, yeah exactly. 1:46:00.800 --> 1:46:03.439 But you tell the good is coming, the good's coming. Yeah, 1:46:03.640 --> 1:46:08.160 if the good means we all speak Spanish, I'm quick 1:46:08.680 --> 1:46:11.959 and maybe I have fifty years left to learn Spanish. 1:46:12.080 --> 1:46:13.920 But no, it's great, it's great. 1:46:14.160 --> 1:46:17.760 My grandfather senty years life with that longevity, Coach, you're 1:46:17.800 --> 1:46:18.320 in the right way. 1:46:18.320 --> 1:46:20.160 I wish I had. They have a new thing where 1:46:20.200 --> 1:46:22.960 it's an app where you're get a holo hologram of 1:46:23.080 --> 1:46:24.320 your of your grandparents. 1:46:24.680 --> 1:46:30.439 Careful here, what's your grandfather gonna say about that? 1:46:30.600 --> 1:46:31.840 He's not going to the super Bowl? 1:46:34.600 --> 1:46:37.519 That just slipped up down. My grandfather's gonna be like 1:46:37.800 --> 1:46:43.040 what I thought they were done. We took care of them, 1:46:44.920 --> 1:46:45.240 all right. 1:46:45.600 --> 1:46:49.439 Please keep going, Please keep going. Glenn, you just one 1:46:49.479 --> 1:46:50.800 flip cup without even trying. 1:46:51.000 --> 1:46:51.120 I know. 1:46:51.280 --> 1:46:54.920 That's amazing. Is Glenn Paral not a political pundit? 1:46:55.640 --> 1:46:56.280 Glenn Beck? 1:46:56.760 --> 1:47:01.000 That's it? Sorry, Yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead, I'm sorry, 1:47:01.000 --> 1:47:01.760 You're right, Colon pal. 1:47:02.600 --> 1:47:05.400 Glenn Powell has the new movie The Running Man, which 1:47:05.439 --> 1:47:06.200 is out this weekend. 1:47:07.040 --> 1:47:09.800 The remake of the movie I read the book. 1:47:09.920 --> 1:47:15.559 Okay, okay, he's beautiful, he's great. 1:47:17.240 --> 1:47:20.959 Peacock canceling poker Face after two seasons, but the creators 1:47:21.000 --> 1:47:24.280 are developing a new version that will have Peter Dinkledge 1:47:24.360 --> 1:47:28.360 replacing Natasha Leone as the detective. So they're going to 1:47:28.400 --> 1:47:31.479 do like I like that, They're going to do a 1:47:31.560 --> 1:47:34.200 two season order and then every two seasons they're going 1:47:34.280 --> 1:47:34.840 to rotate in. 1:47:35.000 --> 1:47:38.760 A different different Oh, just somebody else, a different celebrity 1:47:38.960 --> 1:47:39.800 in that role. 1:47:39.880 --> 1:47:43.439 Also, so most underrated hot chick in the world. 1:47:43.560 --> 1:47:47.160 Oh, I agree, there's something like there's some dirty sexy. 1:47:47.400 --> 1:47:49.439 It's the smoking, the what's wrong. 1:47:49.439 --> 1:47:52.720 It's like when her liver failed in the hospital and 1:47:52.800 --> 1:47:57.200 you're like, and you're back, yeah, yeah, yeah, you mean 1:47:57.280 --> 1:47:58.080 an next heroin atic. 1:47:58.280 --> 1:48:00.680 It's like, yo, I don't care, let's do it. I'll 1:48:00.720 --> 1:48:02.400 put on a scheme mask and lay upside down on 1:48:02.479 --> 1:48:02.760 the bed. 1:48:04.800 --> 1:48:07.719 Lady College athletic director John Bean, featured on the Netflix 1:48:07.760 --> 1:48:10.960 show Last Chance You was shot in Oakland, California, on 1:48:11.120 --> 1:48:14.879 campus yesterday. We haven't gotten an update on his condition, 1:48:15.120 --> 1:48:17.760 but he was in critical condition as of last night. 1:48:18.000 --> 1:48:22.040 They're still investigating, they said He was featured on season 1:48:22.160 --> 1:48:24.320 five of that show, which is all about college football 1:48:24.360 --> 1:48:24.960 athletics and. 1:48:24.960 --> 1:48:26.120 Their struggle struggles. 1:48:26.160 --> 1:48:30.320 The season focusing on him aired in twenty twenty, David 1:48:30.360 --> 1:48:33.160 Coverdale announcing his retirement after a more than fifty year 1:48:33.280 --> 1:48:36.639 career on Instagram. He explained that recent years have made 1:48:36.680 --> 1:48:39.080 it clear it's time too. As he put it, hang 1:48:39.160 --> 1:48:41.439 up my rock and roll platform shoes and my skin 1:48:41.560 --> 1:48:42.639 tight genes. 1:48:42.640 --> 1:48:47.240 So with David Coverdale like white stay yeah, no. 1:48:47.320 --> 1:48:51.679 Whitesnake yeah yeah, Okay, I'm just asking. 1:48:53.360 --> 1:48:55.839 Kevin Hart Keenan Thompson are going to host Good Sports, 1:48:55.840 --> 1:48:58.439 which is a new weekly talk show that'll debut on 1:48:58.600 --> 1:49:00.439 the twenty fifth on Amazon Prime. 1:49:01.240 --> 1:49:02.680 So this is sort of piggyback. 1:49:02.880 --> 1:49:04.280 We just talked about Kevin Hart today. 1:49:05.560 --> 1:49:08.320 Is he really great. 1:49:10.520 --> 1:49:10.960 Bunny? 1:49:11.200 --> 1:49:13.360 But he's awesome. 1:49:13.400 --> 1:49:17.280 He's got so much energy. He always shows up. Yeah, 1:49:18.600 --> 1:49:20.400 we were just talking today when I walked in and 1:49:20.400 --> 1:49:21.760 I said, I wish you could be more like him, 1:49:22.240 --> 1:49:25.040 Like I wish you could be more like every outfit 1:49:25.080 --> 1:49:27.120 he's in. It's like he looks like he's presentable. He 1:49:27.280 --> 1:49:27.600 got like. 1:49:34.200 --> 1:49:34.559 Stomach. 1:49:35.280 --> 1:49:39.040 The thing I am is comfortable, but I'm not like 1:49:39.240 --> 1:49:40.000 I guess I'm more. 1:49:40.160 --> 1:49:41.640 I don't know. I don't I couldn't even tell you. 1:49:41.720 --> 1:49:43.960 But like, as I moved forward to my career, I 1:49:44.000 --> 1:49:45.839 woke up this morning and I put on this jacket 1:49:45.840 --> 1:49:48.600 because I was like, I was like, I wish I 1:49:48.600 --> 1:49:51.920 could be like Kevin because he's like when you see 1:49:51.960 --> 1:49:53.880 him me, you're like, oh, I got to step up 1:49:53.920 --> 1:49:56.439 my game. When I show up, You're like, oh, I 1:49:56.479 --> 1:50:01.519 can lower my guard. So I was like one, two 1:50:01.640 --> 1:50:03.880 or four, and I was like, I'm going to what's like, 1:50:03.960 --> 1:50:06.080 what's wrong in my brain? Keep going? 1:50:06.560 --> 1:50:10.120 Amy Schumer Chris Fisher reportedly devoted to making their marriage work, 1:50:10.200 --> 1:50:12.640 despite some recent rumors that have been swirling that they 1:50:12.680 --> 1:50:14.439 could be headed for divorce. 1:50:16.600 --> 1:50:18.479 Secret time go, secret time go. 1:50:18.800 --> 1:50:35.920 No nothing, shh. Here's the deal. She looks incredible, she does, No, 1:50:36.120 --> 1:50:39.439 she does, she looks great, and he's stuck with her 1:50:40.360 --> 1:50:41.360 through all the fat days. 1:50:41.720 --> 1:50:41.880 Right. 1:50:44.479 --> 1:50:46.120 Oh wait, so you think he doesn't like her? 1:50:46.560 --> 1:50:47.200 Now? No? 1:50:48.280 --> 1:50:50.320 No, no, because there are people no I say this 1:50:50.400 --> 1:50:50.880 all the time. 1:50:51.000 --> 1:50:51.800 I say this all the time. 1:50:51.840 --> 1:50:55.080 There are people who get mad if their spouse balloons 1:50:55.160 --> 1:50:58.080 up and you're and they're like, oh, that's not what 1:50:58.200 --> 1:51:00.680 I like. And then there are people who like their 1:51:00.880 --> 1:51:04.040 their their spouse heavy and then they lose a lot 1:51:04.080 --> 1:51:06.519 of weight and go, that's not that's not what I like. 1:51:06.880 --> 1:51:07.880 That's not what I married. 1:51:08.040 --> 1:51:10.360 Oh my god, you're right. And I did not realize 1:51:10.400 --> 1:51:14.759 you were what you were saying. So Leanne, Leanne, No, no, Leanne. 1:51:14.800 --> 1:51:17.040 I like Leanne a little bigger, right, I don't know. 1:51:17.160 --> 1:51:18.800 I just like because we have sex in the dark, 1:51:18.840 --> 1:51:21.519 so I just feel So it's like I was like, 1:51:21.680 --> 1:51:24.439 this is great, it's more things to touch, right, And 1:51:24.520 --> 1:51:27.160 then when she got really skinny, it wasn't that I 1:51:27.240 --> 1:51:29.800 didn't like her, but it's like things didn't fill out 1:51:29.800 --> 1:51:32.560 the way I liked. Right. No, I understand. I understand that. 1:51:32.680 --> 1:51:33.679 I understand what you're saying. 1:51:34.080 --> 1:51:36.559 Yeah, nobody. I assumed she was cheating on him. 1:51:37.240 --> 1:51:43.280 Oh okay, never mind. 1:51:43.640 --> 1:51:45.599 Yeah, yeah, I just I mean, I just assumed. 1:51:46.240 --> 1:51:46.600 I don't know. 1:51:46.720 --> 1:51:51.000 I'm sorry, Amy, you can assume what everyone about me. 1:51:51.040 --> 1:51:51.439 I know you have. 1:51:51.640 --> 1:51:57.920 But the truth is she looks incredible. She does, right, majorno. 1:51:58.240 --> 1:52:00.880 She looks incredible. And I was just like, I don't know, 1:52:01.880 --> 1:52:05.840 old school party, Amy was a wild person. I mean, 1:52:06.040 --> 1:52:08.040 we're all we're all friends here, right, Yeah, she was 1:52:08.080 --> 1:52:10.960 a wild person and then she, you know, got bigger, 1:52:11.040 --> 1:52:14.439 met this autistic dude. They got married and they had kids, 1:52:14.520 --> 1:52:16.720 and you were like, dude, that's a guy. Guy's a 1:52:16.760 --> 1:52:19.680 baller because he was like with her during all her 1:52:19.760 --> 1:52:23.080 big faces, right and like Rosetia, I have it too, 1:52:23.240 --> 1:52:26.600 I'm not. But then she got hot and I was like, 1:52:27.120 --> 1:52:31.479 she's off to the races, That's what I thought. And 1:52:31.600 --> 1:52:33.640 this dude's sitting with his kids, like, Yo, where are 1:52:33.680 --> 1:52:36.360 you going? She's like, I got a party live at 1:52:36.400 --> 1:52:37.000 these legs. 1:52:37.120 --> 1:52:37.400 Dude. 1:52:37.920 --> 1:52:40.200 I looked like Sydney Sweeney, but she could read. 1:52:43.720 --> 1:52:44.440 Yet don't. 1:52:44.800 --> 1:52:47.960 Congratulations to Kenny Chesney his new book Heart Life Music, 1:52:48.240 --> 1:52:50.559 topping the New York Times Bestsellers list. 1:52:50.680 --> 1:52:52.519 Love Kenny ches too right there with you. 1:52:52.640 --> 1:52:52.840 Yeah. 1:52:53.560 --> 1:52:56.080 New Kids on the Block announcing sixteen new dates through 1:52:56.120 --> 1:52:59.759 twenty twenty six at their Las Vegas residency at Dolby 1:52:59.800 --> 1:53:01.639 Lyn At Park MGM. 1:53:02.520 --> 1:53:06.599 What Great, No No Love, Donnie Yeah Yeah. 1:53:07.120 --> 1:53:10.840 Obviously. Cardi be welcoming baby number four. It's Little Boy, 1:53:10.960 --> 1:53:13.400 her first one with boyfriend Stefan Diggs. 1:53:13.520 --> 1:53:16.040 Also Bravo con happening this weekend in Las Vegas. 1:53:17.600 --> 1:53:20.920 All the Oh Boy Now now now you pissed Diana, 1:53:21.320 --> 1:53:23.760 like all the Bravo, the Real Housewives and the fand 1:53:24.760 --> 1:53:25.479 Andy Cohen and. 1:53:26.240 --> 1:53:28.920 Shout out the Bravo. They're the only network that's still around. 1:53:29.320 --> 1:53:33.600 Yeah, Comedy Central's gone, Travel Channel's gone, everything's gone, and 1:53:33.760 --> 1:53:34.920 Bravo is still killing it. 1:53:35.080 --> 1:53:38.960 Yeah, No, they're they're doing well. Travel Channel went downhill 1:53:39.400 --> 1:53:41.000 when when Thank You. 1:53:41.400 --> 1:53:47.680 Absolutely was when Bourdaine and Oh and Boordain left and. 1:53:47.920 --> 1:53:53.160 They were like, oh wheel the boat afloat, oh oh sucked. 1:53:53.880 --> 1:53:56.479 The fan that went after Ariana Grande at that red 1:53:56.560 --> 1:53:58.719 carpet event in Singapore is now going to be facing 1:53:58.760 --> 1:54:01.680 official charges of final about two thousand dollars after he's 1:54:01.720 --> 1:54:04.479 expected to plead guilty to being a public nuisance. But 1:54:04.520 --> 1:54:06.400 I guess he's been kind of known to do things 1:54:06.479 --> 1:54:07.320 like that in the past. 1:54:07.720 --> 1:54:10.160 That doesn't just show up right right, that doesn't show 1:54:10.240 --> 1:54:11.599 up on a Thursday, you're a lunatic. 1:54:12.160 --> 1:54:13.360 There was a guy that broke. 1:54:13.160 --> 1:54:17.960 Into our show one time and he climbed, he climbed 1:54:18.320 --> 1:54:21.080 the things in the back and then broke into the 1:54:21.120 --> 1:54:24.840 back and then put on a janitor's uniform and then 1:54:24.880 --> 1:54:26.360 he was hanging out in the green room in the 1:54:26.439 --> 1:54:30.599 janitor's uniform and then our security was like, yo, why 1:54:30.600 --> 1:54:32.400 are you a janitor? And you're in the green room 1:54:33.160 --> 1:54:36.240 and he took a swing and he hit my security guy. 1:54:36.600 --> 1:54:40.600 A fight broke out and they broke his finger or 1:54:40.680 --> 1:54:43.400 maybe something, but they arrested him. And I remember Big 1:54:43.480 --> 1:54:46.240 jokes and was like, dude, he's a fan, and I 1:54:46.360 --> 1:54:49.520 was like, no, he's not right. No, a fan doesn't 1:54:49.600 --> 1:54:53.440 steal a janitor's uniform. Yeah right, And then I was like, Jay, 1:54:53.480 --> 1:54:56.480 that's legionis kank? Stuff like that's not regular human being, 1:54:56.600 --> 1:54:59.720 stuff like you don't steal a uniform and break in 1:54:59.840 --> 1:55:03.040 and like dude making mopping up, like big fan, can 1:55:03.120 --> 1:55:05.720 you get a picture real quick? Yeah? 1:55:05.840 --> 1:55:06.760 That's wild. 1:55:06.960 --> 1:55:08.080 Did you jump into the fight? 1:55:08.280 --> 1:55:09.080 No, I wasn't even there. 1:55:11.320 --> 1:55:13.320 Or did you treat it like the nurse on that flight? 1:55:14.160 --> 1:55:14.400 Yeah? 1:55:19.080 --> 1:55:23.640 And the permission to party World Tour tonight in Baltimore. 1:55:25.800 --> 1:55:25.880 Up. 1:55:26.440 --> 1:55:32.560 No, but your hair goes from side to stomach tonight. 1:55:35.240 --> 1:55:37.720 I am so hammered. I did not expect to get 1:55:37.760 --> 1:55:38.160 this trunk. 1:55:38.200 --> 1:55:40.920 I didn't expect you to either. I expect you and 1:55:41.000 --> 1:55:43.960 you that's more than it's actually more than half. 1:55:44.280 --> 1:55:46.600 It's going to be such a great day. We got 1:55:46.680 --> 1:55:50.560 a seafood restaurant. The ravens are showing up. He's from Baltimore. 1:55:53.520 --> 1:55:55.320 All right, tonight, Burt Kreischer. 1:55:55.440 --> 1:55:58.680 I love you, guys. I think I love you more 1:55:58.720 --> 1:55:59.240 than you love me. 1:55:59.560 --> 1:56:00.800 That's you're wrong. 1:56:00.920 --> 1:56:01.760 Yeah, and I'll tell you why. 1:56:02.760 --> 1:56:04.440 I took a year and a half off of stand up, 1:56:04.480 --> 1:56:07.280 and I realized how much I love my fans versus 1:56:07.400 --> 1:56:08.360 they loving me like day. 1:56:08.480 --> 1:56:09.720 Not a lot of them hit me up like yo, 1:56:09.800 --> 1:56:12.120 where are you? But I kept going where are you? 1:56:12.240 --> 1:56:17.120 Guys? If I, if I, if I God forbid, beat 1:56:17.200 --> 1:56:21.440 up Leanna killed her murder right, God forbid, God forbid, 1:56:22.400 --> 1:56:24.280 I'd be sitting in a prison cellar going what are 1:56:24.320 --> 1:56:27.600 my fans doing? None of them would be like I 1:56:27.720 --> 1:56:31.120 miss bird. They give up on me. That's why I 1:56:31.160 --> 1:56:35.920 don't kill my wife. It's a selfish reason. This is 1:56:36.840 --> 1:56:39.200 the best radio I've ever done in my life. Always, 1:56:39.480 --> 1:56:41.960 every time. And I said that. I said that one 1:56:42.040 --> 1:56:44.720 time to cowhead, Right, I said, one of my best 1:56:44.760 --> 1:56:48.240 friends is Mike Caltaz in Tampa, said, can't tell you 1:56:48.280 --> 1:56:50.520 what I love about Elliott? He said what I said, 1:56:50.880 --> 1:56:53.000 do you go in? And he does the best interview 1:56:53.080 --> 1:56:56.720 you've ever done. And it's like top to bottom for 1:56:56.960 --> 1:57:01.520 like two hours. He'll let it run. It's always inquisitive, 1:57:01.520 --> 1:57:04.360 it's always questionable, and it's always like fun and interactive. 1:57:04.840 --> 1:57:08.200 And I watched his eyes to flate and he was like, 1:57:08.280 --> 1:57:10.720 I also do a radio show. And I was like, 1:57:10.800 --> 1:57:13.360 I forgot I was talking to you. That's a true story. 1:57:13.960 --> 1:57:14.840 That's a true story. 1:57:15.840 --> 1:57:17.520 All right, Well we did we did good today. We 1:57:17.560 --> 1:57:18.520 did two twenty today. 1:57:18.920 --> 1:57:21.440 Yeah, we did two twenty flew by barely even finished 1:57:21.440 --> 1:57:22.560 a bottle of vodka. 1:57:23.920 --> 1:57:26.160 No for the ride home. 1:57:26.320 --> 1:57:27.760 For the ride home, make it interesting. 1:57:27.800 --> 1:57:28.640 You've got a bus driver. 1:57:29.120 --> 1:57:41.560 Yeah, this is that sounds Chesney? No, no, no, we 1:57:41.800 --> 1:57:42.320 end strong. 1:57:42.440 --> 1:57:44.640 Hold on, hold on, let me tell you what we 1:57:44.760 --> 1:57:45.640 end all Okay. 1:57:46.800 --> 1:57:49.600 Usually is so good that we just said we love Chesney. 1:57:49.800 --> 1:57:51.640 I know, but it's not what we close on. 1:57:51.960 --> 1:57:54.800 Oh the fun is it? 1:57:55.000 --> 1:57:55.520 Tipple. 1:57:56.240 --> 1:57:59.200 That's why it's on training this. 1:58:00.040 --> 1:58:06.720 Have a little help town crazy cheeseburgers. Don't make it 1:58:06.800 --> 1:58:18.120 a downers. 1:58:21.040 --> 1:58:21.360 All right. 1:58:22.600 --> 1:58:23.720 I haven't announced this yet. 1:58:24.040 --> 1:58:28.320 This is brings in. I haven't announced this yet. This 1:58:28.440 --> 1:58:30.040 will not be announced the December first. 1:58:30.480 --> 1:58:33.040 December first, we're going We're going good and early. 1:58:33.440 --> 1:58:36.040 Yes, if I ever tell secrets, it's always on this show. 1:58:39.640 --> 1:58:43.280 On the eve of Nascar, I'm throwing a party. I'm 1:58:43.320 --> 1:58:48.400 a team of Nascar and UH and we will throw 1:58:48.560 --> 1:58:52.160 in Daytona a party of the night before Nascar. I 1:58:52.360 --> 1:59:01.320 have acquired some amazing talent diplo, Ernest myself, comedians, but 1:59:01.440 --> 1:59:03.600 more important than anyone. They were like, yo, you get 1:59:03.640 --> 1:59:07.200 to pick one band headline. I was like, you know 1:59:07.760 --> 1:59:09.720 a lot of great bands, but I know Nascar. I 1:59:09.800 --> 1:59:11.600 do know Nascar. I've been to a lot of races, 1:59:12.000 --> 1:59:14.480 and I know that in order to go to an event, 1:59:14.600 --> 1:59:16.560 you got to pack up the whole tent. You got 1:59:16.680 --> 1:59:18.760 to pack up the RV, you gotta put the grill away. 1:59:19.240 --> 1:59:21.200 You gotta not want to eat there. You gotta want 1:59:21.240 --> 1:59:24.120 to eat there. And I was like, what band gets 1:59:24.160 --> 1:59:28.440 you to leave your place and go there? And they 1:59:28.520 --> 1:59:30.200 came in a bunch of names and I and I 1:59:30.440 --> 1:59:33.200 read all the names and I settled on one name. 1:59:34.040 --> 1:59:35.960 And this is how we start. We go out. Now, 1:59:36.000 --> 1:59:40.000 I'm gonna send you the name. Okay, I was hoping. 1:59:40.080 --> 1:59:45.560 He realized he hadn't done it yet, so I. 1:59:45.600 --> 1:59:46.960 Wish it was echoing the bunny man. 1:59:49.680 --> 1:59:50.880 I was in heavy for that. 1:59:51.760 --> 1:59:53.760 Okay, Now you gotta. 1:59:55.120 --> 1:59:57.920 You know the five hundred is always right around my birthday. 1:59:58.400 --> 2:00:02.400 Buddy, we've already teamed up there go so uh now 2:00:02.480 --> 2:00:05.840 there's a bunch of ones, Okay, but I want you 2:00:05.920 --> 2:00:08.840 to pick the right one so that we enjoy it 2:00:08.960 --> 2:00:11.320 and don't go stereotypical. 2:00:10.800 --> 2:00:12.720 People are strange or the killing men. 2:00:17.080 --> 2:00:17.280 Yeah. 2:00:18.680 --> 2:00:20.480 So now so now pick a good one. 2:00:20.720 --> 2:00:26.080 I hope it's bad Bunny. It's why wouldn't I pick 2:00:26.160 --> 2:00:29.839 bad bunny? Why wouldn't I pick bad bunny? Why wouldn't 2:00:29.840 --> 2:00:31.920 I pick bad bunny? Listen, we have not gone on 2:00:32.080 --> 2:00:35.600 sale with these tickets. Uh, these are There's not for 2:00:35.720 --> 2:00:38.360 another two months that we're coming out with this. This 2:00:38.480 --> 2:00:39.040 is announced. 2:00:40.360 --> 2:00:41.120 Don't tell anybody. 2:00:41.160 --> 2:00:41.880 Don't tell anybody. 2:00:42.120 --> 2:00:48.080 But on eve of of of the Daytona five hundred, 2:00:48.400 --> 2:00:51.839 the night before it's me Ernest Diplo, a bunch of comics. 2:00:52.160 --> 2:00:54.920 We've got barbecue, we've got food, we've got beer. We're 2:00:55.000 --> 2:00:56.680 just doing a party. That's all you gotta do is 2:00:56.720 --> 2:01:01.920 come to party. And I they had one band and 2:01:02.480 --> 2:01:05.680 my first pick was this band, and no one agreed 2:01:05.720 --> 2:01:11.480 to it. Everyone was like, j Boozy boozy, can we 2:01:11.680 --> 2:01:18.560 edit that out? Joy Chaboozy, I gotta we can't edit 2:01:18.640 --> 2:01:22.120 that out. I gotta announce him next week at the 2:01:22.200 --> 2:01:25.240 c M as shaboozy, shaboozy. 2:01:25.320 --> 2:01:26.480 Now you're acting like Pete Davidson. 2:01:27.400 --> 2:01:28.040 Why what do you do? 2:01:28.720 --> 2:01:30.280 Don't as people call you all the time. 2:01:31.160 --> 2:01:35.120 Shaboozy to edit stuck out? Oh yeah, wait, how did 2:01:35.120 --> 2:01:35.440 you know that? 2:01:35.680 --> 2:01:36.560 You told us. 2:01:38.640 --> 2:01:43.440 There? So I said, this is who I want to play. 2:01:45.080 --> 2:01:47.800 I'm gonna do a shot at vodka. Tell you guys, 2:01:47.840 --> 2:01:49.480 I love you with all my heart. I love you too, 2:01:50.200 --> 2:02:06.720 And let's close out on this. This is this is 2:02:12.440 --> 2:02:17.320 who doesn't want this? I have the Amber hooding. We're 2:02:17.400 --> 2:02:22.880 going all right. 2:02:23.080 --> 2:02:27.560 Burt Chreischer Tonight, CFG Bank Arena and Baltimore Sunday night, 2:02:27.680 --> 2:02:28.880 the Audrey of Theater in. 2:02:28.960 --> 2:02:31.000 Richmond, Tomorrow night. 2:02:31.120 --> 2:02:35.240 Pershy, the fully loaded cruise goes on sale in two 2:02:35.360 --> 2:02:38.960 hours at twenty minutes January. 2:02:38.520 --> 2:02:42.600 Twenty second, free Bird on Netflix and the night before 2:02:42.720 --> 2:02:44.240 the Daytona five hundred