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Speaker 1: It's k IF.

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Speaker 2: I am six forty and you're listening to the Conway

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Speaker 2: Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 1: Oh sure, you struck me as a big coke guy

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Speaker 1: in the eighties or nineties.

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Speaker 3: That trum no not true offered sorry a couple of

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Speaker 3: times in my life. It's not gonna do anything for me,

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Speaker 3: and uh, I think the final death knell for that

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Speaker 3: was my dad dying from it.

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Speaker 1: So enough for me, h.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you actually did try it didn't

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Speaker 2: do anything?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I tried it a couple times, actually, I don't

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Speaker 3: even want to say a few times. A couple of times,

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Speaker 3: and it just it didn't do anything for me. I

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Speaker 3: literally thought people are losing their houses and cars over

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Speaker 3: this stuff.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't do anything for me? Does grab you? I

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Speaker 1: guess grab my dad?

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Speaker 2: The only time I actually saw it, and I saw

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Speaker 2: a woman doing it, and she said, hey, do you

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Speaker 2: want to do it? I'm like, I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I'm not I don't like to lose that

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Speaker 2: kind of control. But I took some on my finger

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Speaker 2: and put on my gums because they do it like

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Speaker 2: it's called.

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Speaker 3: A freeze, remember them. I don't know, And you put

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Speaker 3: it on your gums. I remember that being done, but

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Speaker 3: I don't remember the name of it.

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Speaker 2: D Yeah, and you put on your gums, freeze your gums,

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Speaker 2: and it tasted like like aspirin, And I'm like, looks

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Speaker 2: like it daystes like aspron Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I just did the sniff thing and it didn't so

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Speaker 3: I didn't taste it, and it just it did.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what why it does grab people? Though?

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Speaker 2: I know a guy that did it and he hated driving. He's,

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Speaker 2: you know, from the Midwest and like driving, and I'm

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Speaker 2: hated it and it hated driving at night you couldn't

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Speaker 2: see anything. But if he was doing cocaine on a

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Speaker 2: weekend and he was out, he would drive from downtown

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Speaker 2: LA all the way to like Chatsworth at night when

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Speaker 2: he was scared to death of driving to get some

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Speaker 2: more grinding his teeth. Yeah, they said the worst part

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Speaker 2: of doing cocaine is the when you try to go

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Speaker 2: to sleep and the birds don't stop chirping. It sounds

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Speaker 2: like they're in both ears. Really, that's what I heard.

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Speaker 1: The thing. I was always fascinated by it.

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Speaker 3: In the very few times I've been around it, around it,

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Speaker 3: I I it's it's an incredibly social drug.

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Speaker 1: Oh it is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like I never asked for or anything like that.

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Speaker 3: It was always one of those hey here, here, here,

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Speaker 3: you gotta do it. You're here, here here, everybody's doing it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: my my buddy, that did. They used to enjoy that.

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Speaker 3: He said, you end up talking to people for six hours.

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Speaker 3: You would never give the time of day two.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you'd never even know they're they existed, and you

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Speaker 2: have a nine hour conversation with them. Stephus. You don't

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Speaker 2: strike me as a coke guy? Am I wrong? Am

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Speaker 2: I missing you?

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Speaker 4: I'm terrified of all of that outside of uh, you know,

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Speaker 4: having a couple of drinks.

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Speaker 2: Oh I see, Okay, I didn't think it was gonna

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Speaker 2: say a couple drinks. Yeah, I thought I was gonna say,

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Speaker 2: uh you know, like uh snort. I thought I say,

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Speaker 2: like meth amphetamine, mushrooms, trims or horse or h Terrified

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Speaker 2: of everything outside of the injections blues greens.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that that terrifies me too. Just first I

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Speaker 1: go as gummies.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you don't do injections.

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Speaker 4: I'm I'm honestly, I'm terrified to get blood drawn.

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Speaker 1: So oh yeah, oh you don't like needles. I hate needles.

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Speaker 1: So did you get the COVID shot? I did? I

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Speaker 1: was terrified and I was sweating when they did.

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Speaker 2: You know, the COVID or the inoculations now or injections. Man,

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Speaker 2: When I was a kid, it was like they're putting

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Speaker 2: a like a comedy pencil into your arm. Hurt like hell,

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Speaker 2: you know, like one of those not sh farmed comedy pencils.

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Speaker 1: But nowadays you can't feel it at all.

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Speaker 2: It's it's it's literally the width of a size of

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Speaker 2: a hair.

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Speaker 3: The key is to not get it done by a

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Speaker 3: nurse or a doctor, because those are not trained to

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Speaker 3: do it.

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Speaker 1: What are they? The phlebotomous or whatever.

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Speaker 3: The people that actually trained and licensed and all that

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Speaker 3: stuff to draw blood. They know how to do it

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Speaker 3: and not have any pain. I'm with you, I'm with you.

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Speaker 3: That's why I get minded Sears. That's where I got it.

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Speaker 3: Right outside of Sears.

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Speaker 2: It's a little table somebody set right, Yeah, guys set

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Speaker 2: up a table, and I got a flu shot right

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Speaker 2: outside of Sears.

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Speaker 1: I know, mighty, What was it going on with me? Angel? You?

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Speaker 1: You don't strike me as a coke gal? Am I wrong?

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Speaker 5: Am? I?

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Speaker 2: The moon.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't do that.

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Speaker 2: I can't figure you out. Wait, wait you so you

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Speaker 2: don't I don't do.

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Speaker 1: It, okay.

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Speaker 2: Or you're not on it now, that's right, you're not

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Speaker 2: on cocaine now.

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Speaker 1: No, okay, it seems like she she like she misses it.

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Speaker 2: Allright, Okay, very quiet here.

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Speaker 1: Oh, Kiki, she got something to say? Kiki? Is that

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Speaker 1: is that you got coke? Queen? Was your license plate?

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Speaker 1: You're dune cocaine? No? I have not, No, I've done nothing.

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Speaker 1: I am a good person and a good girl.

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Speaker 2: He was always the first ones to turn yeah right, yeah,

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Speaker 2: Catholic goals.

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Speaker 1: Are you Catholic? No? I'm not you not? Okay?

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Speaker 3: Those are the ones that the first time they do it,

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Speaker 3: they go absolutely insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah what if you don't want me ask? I don't

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Speaker 2: want to pry. Are you a god fearing woman?

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Speaker 1: Ye? Are you religious? I am not religious? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: Well she didn't understand the expression.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, during the break, I'm gonna talk to

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Speaker 2: you a little bit about Catholicism to get you know,

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Speaker 2: because I know it's gonna piss a lot of people off,

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Speaker 2: but it really is the only way to happen.

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Speaker 1: That makes a lot of people crazy. You know. I

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Speaker 1: had some people when I was a kid that you know,

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Speaker 1: they used.

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Speaker 3: To come to the doors, to your door and knock

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Speaker 3: on you, you know, you give you a little test.

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Speaker 3: Are you familiar with Jesus and all this stuff? And

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Speaker 3: I had one couple come up. I was ten, came

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Speaker 3: up to the door and it was like price is

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Speaker 3: right was being interrupted and I was already irritated under

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Speaker 3: the door. And they asked me, said are you familiar

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Speaker 3: with the Lord? And I go familiar, Yeah, sure, why not?

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Speaker 3: And they asked me, they said do you know his

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Speaker 3: real name? And I thought, isn't it Jesus? They go, no,

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Speaker 3: it's I way, all right, thanks, close the door, and

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Speaker 3: I was done.

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Speaker 1: You know, they give you that.

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Speaker 2: The Mormons come by and they gave me one of

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Speaker 2: those cards with Jesus on.

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Speaker 1: It is not what they do with the cards with

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Speaker 1: Jesus on the Mormons. Yeah, it's a Mormons. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: The boys and the bikes, Yes, they were on bikes.

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Speaker 2: They are very well dressed young men. And they gave

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Speaker 2: me a card and it had Jesus on it. Man,

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Speaker 2: is that hard to throw away? Oh yeah, you feel that, Yes,

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Speaker 2: you got to hang that or put it in a

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Speaker 2: drawer somewhere, or you know, put it in your wallet.

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Speaker 1: Well that and that's why these people. Do you want

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Speaker 1: to screw with luck?

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Speaker 2: You throw a picture Jesus away, God Almighty, How confident

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Speaker 2: are you in life that you're going to throw that away?

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Speaker 1: Oh? See, that was the thing with them.

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Speaker 3: It was like I felt like I was being like

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Speaker 3: like punished or something like that because I didn't have

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Speaker 3: a bit of knowledge or something about Like they made

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Speaker 3: me feel like really small and like dumb, and I.

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Speaker 1: Was like, what what you're coming to my door?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was It wasn't even like the whole religious

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Speaker 3: aspect of it.

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Speaker 1: It was just the way they come at me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I like when they knock on the door. Look,

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Speaker 2: they're you know, young men and women. I think they're

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Speaker 2: they're fine. But I often am of the mindset of

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Speaker 2: uh man, I I don't know if I'm gonna change

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Speaker 2: my religions today. I don't know. Do you get in

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Speaker 2: the conversation, nah, a little bit, A little bit if

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Speaker 2: it depends on how buzzed I am, you know, inswer

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Speaker 2: the door. Yeah, right, I've been depending how much I'm

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Speaker 2: down that day on TVG like, hey guys, you got

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Speaker 2: any more pictures of Jesus here? We need a lot

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Speaker 2: of help here in the in the nightcap, hang on,

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Speaker 2: I got a collection place just over here.

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Speaker 1: Get a lot of help here.

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Speaker 7: With this last phrase, you're listening to Tim Conway Junior

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Speaker 7: on Demyan from KFI Am six forty.

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Speaker 2: Who's the guy that does sports on KLAC on weekends.

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Speaker 1: No, not Isaac's. He's got that really cool radio voice.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like this.

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Speaker 2: I can't remembers this, but when I do remember his name,

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Speaker 2: I'll give him credit for that line. So I'm driving

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Speaker 2: to Oregon for Christmas, and I didn't have Angel Martinez's

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Speaker 2: home address.

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Speaker 1: She always gives it to.

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Speaker 2: Me every year, and then I put it on the

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Speaker 2: envelope and I never write it down, and I always

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Speaker 2: have to ask for address every year.

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Speaker 1: So I'm driving to Oregon.

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Speaker 2: I give everybody else their Christmas gift, and I get

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Speaker 2: to Calusa Casino and yeah, right outside, right outside, I

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Speaker 2: see you can see where this is going right outside

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Speaker 2: of reading California, and I get hammered.

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Speaker 1: I lose everything. I lose it. Slots at tables.

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Speaker 2: I think I lost money while I was eating somehow,

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Speaker 2: I just dropped the twenty and couldn't find it.

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Speaker 1: I lose, lose, lose, lose.

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Speaker 2: So I go to the room and reach in my

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Speaker 2: bag and I find a granola bar that I bought

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Speaker 2: earlier at a gas station. And I turn on the TV.

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Speaker 2: It's on ESPN. It's two am. I'm buzzed and I'm

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Speaker 2: eating a granola bar and I have no more money.

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Speaker 2: I've tapped out all the life man. I tapped out

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Speaker 2: the ATM. I didn't want to jack a credit card

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Speaker 2: and paid eighty dollars for every nine dollars you pull out.

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Speaker 2: And I go to get another granola bar, and I

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Speaker 2: pull out the envelope that has Angel Martinez's name on it.

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Speaker 1: I forgot I brought that with me. I popped that.

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Speaker 2: Sucker open, and that hundred went with me downstairs at

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Speaker 2: the casino, and I said, I'm going to double angels

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Speaker 2: Christmas gift. She's gonna get two hundred or five hundred

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Speaker 2: one thousand. I'm gonna give her every dime I make

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Speaker 2: with this HUNDI ten minutes later, another granola bar, more ESPN,

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Speaker 2: and you went down with the ship.

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Speaker 1: Angel. Hmm, you totally put an image.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you totally put an image in my head of

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Speaker 3: the movie Pulp Fiction when me and John Travolta's character

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Speaker 3: they get back to her place and he goes to

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Speaker 3: the bathroom and she's got his jacket on and she

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Speaker 3: reaches in the pocket and she pulls out what she

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Speaker 3: thinks is I think cocaine or something like being heroin.

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Speaker 3: But the look on her face when she when she

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Speaker 3: feels it in the pocket, she's.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, what's this. Yeah, that's me and pulls.

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Speaker 3: It out, kind of rubs it between her fingers and

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Speaker 3: she goes, oh, And I just imagine your face doing

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Speaker 3: the exact same thing and the ensuing result after her

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Speaker 3: complete misery.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well look, Angel, you had a shot at, you know,

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Speaker 2: at making some big box and you look you blew it.

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Speaker 6: Well, I you know, I really, I really appreciate the

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Speaker 6: effort because it's really the thought that counts.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: But Angel, look, I don't think you appreciate enough where

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Speaker 2: you could have had a thousand dollars gift a guy

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Speaker 2: gonna turned that one hundred into a thousand, and you

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Speaker 2: would have been styling and you get the host.

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Speaker 6: What was really cool is when you did send the

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Speaker 6: Christmas card. Inside. When I opened it up, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 6: I can't believe he remembered. And I opened it up

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Speaker 6: and it said something really nice blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Right, Well, I sent him the ripped open envelope to

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Speaker 2: where I had to go in and get the hundred.

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Speaker 6: And there was tape on the back of the envelope

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Speaker 6: and everything, you know, And I'm like, oh, that's weird.

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Speaker 6: But the weirdest thing was like the iou.

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Speaker 2: There, that's right coupon for you? All right, Sorry, Angel,

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Speaker 2: I'll hit you next year, maybe you know. All right,

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Speaker 2: all right real quickly, you know. Speeking of the country

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Speaker 2: music Alex Stone, big Big, a country music guy, h

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Speaker 2: and I told the story of driving Johnny Cash. This was, well,

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Speaker 2: when we come back, I'm gonna play you the song

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Speaker 2: that my wife selected for our first what is that for?

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Speaker 2: Called the first dance? First dance, first dance. My wife

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Speaker 2: she said, what's what song do you want to play

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Speaker 2: for the first dance? I said, I don't know, how

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Speaker 2: about hey Jude? And she's like, wow, you want to

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Speaker 2: dance that long? And she goes, well, what else? I said,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I don't know, and she said,

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Speaker 2: let me pick it out. Oh, that's a good choice.

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Speaker 2: So she picked this song out.

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Speaker 7: You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI

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Speaker 7: AM six forty.

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Speaker 2: I'm not that that hip on who celebrities are, right,

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Speaker 2: I've just never been into it. I don't watch a

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Speaker 2: little a lot of entertainment Tonight or TMZ, and I

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Speaker 2: don't know a lot of them. So I'm in Las

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Speaker 2: Vegas with a couple of friends. It's thirty years ago,

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Speaker 2: and there's one two one two three four one two

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Speaker 2: three four. Yeah, there are four pictures of the people

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Speaker 2: that were involved with the startup of a place called

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Speaker 2: Planet Home. They have restaurants, a lot of stars, and

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Speaker 2: they have they had a hotel in Vegas.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's still there or not.

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Speaker 2: And they had four statues of these people outside. And

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Speaker 2: my buddy Jeff Warnick, God rest his soul, not here anymore.

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Speaker 2: I missed that guy every day, one of the smartest,

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Speaker 2: funniest guys I've ever met my life. And he said,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to give you a one hundred dollars for

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Speaker 2: every one of these celebrities that you know, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to take one hundred dollars away for everyone you

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Speaker 2: don't know. And I said, oh boy, this could cost

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Speaker 2: me four hundred dollars. So we walk over the statues

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Speaker 2: and I said, okay, that one is Arnold Schwarzenegger and

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Speaker 2: he gives me a hundred dollars bill, and I said,

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Speaker 2: the other one is Sylvester Stallone and he gives me

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Speaker 2: another hundred dollars bill, so I'm at least even. And

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Speaker 2: then he shows me the other one and he and

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Speaker 2: he says, who's that?

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Speaker 1: And I said, I have no idea who that is?

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Speaker 2: And he said, Tim, you drove him in a limousine,

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Speaker 2: a very popular celebrity, and you've driven him, you know,

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Speaker 2: you've driven him at least five times. And when you

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Speaker 2: drove a limousine, you picked him up and took him

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Speaker 2: to the airport. I said, where does he live? He goes,

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Speaker 2: he lives up in the up in the hills, like

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Speaker 2: either like Hollywood or no, I'm sorry, Beverly Hills, or

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Speaker 2: like West Los Angeles. And I said, I have no

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Speaker 2: idea who that is. And he says, okay, that's Bruce

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Speaker 2: Willis and he takes one hundred dollars away from me,

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Speaker 2: and he said, and he says, there's one more.

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Speaker 1: It's a woman, and I said, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: He said, you've talked about her on the radio, and

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Speaker 2: you one of your favorite movies. This this woman is

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Speaker 2: the star of that movie. And I'm like, I just

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Speaker 2: don't know who that is. And he said, I'll even

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Speaker 2: give you the name of the movie. And I said,

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Speaker 2: what's the name of the movie and he said, I

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Speaker 2: think he said like terms of endearment and I said,

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Speaker 2: I still don't know. And it was Demi Moore and

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Speaker 2: he took the other one hundred dollars bill. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know if she was in that movie or not,

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Speaker 2: or if he was just that point with me, but

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Speaker 2: he said he couldn't believe All weekend, he kept saying,

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Speaker 2: how the hell do you pick this guy up in

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Speaker 2: that limousine? Five times in the last two years you

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Speaker 2: talked to him on the way to the airport, and

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Speaker 2: you never ever and you couldn't pick out his name, right,

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Speaker 2: I said, I'm just I'm just not into how he goes.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to be into Hollywood to know this stuff.

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Speaker 2: You're mentally declining, that's what's going on? This has nothing

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Speaker 2: to do with entertainment Tonight and TMZ and you know

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Speaker 2: and and all these other celebrity shows. Uh, this is

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Speaker 2: this is a problem that you have. I said, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe the statue doesn't look like you know, Bruce Willis.

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Speaker 2: So he stopped people that came by and he covered

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Speaker 2: up the name of your standing member. You're standing on

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Speaker 2: the on the name and twenty people walk by, Hey,

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Speaker 2: who's that, Oh, Bruce Willis. Who's this Bruce Willis?

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Speaker 1: Hey, who's that?

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Speaker 2: Before he could before he could finish a question, Hey,

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Speaker 2: who's Bruce Willis. This is Bruce Willis, Bruce Willis, that's

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Speaker 2: Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis right there in w WA, Bruce

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Speaker 2: Willison w ware. And weren't they married for a while?

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Speaker 1: Yes? I think at the time they were still yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think that's another point he brought up, that they

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Speaker 2: were married, and I should have gotten that too, and

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Speaker 2: I didn't. But you know what, But the reason why

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Speaker 2: I don't, and let me defend myself here, when I

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Speaker 2: go to a movie, I don't want to know the actors' names.

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Speaker 1: I just want to for the two hours i'm there.

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Speaker 2: I want to be transported into a into a place

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Speaker 2: where I've never been before, and I don't know anybody

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Speaker 2: like I went to see that Saving Private Ryan, and

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Speaker 2: I'm in the movie. About an hour and a half

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Speaker 2: into the movie, I look up and I said, and

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Speaker 2: I said, it was Jenner.

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Speaker 1: Whoever's with?

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Speaker 5: I go, Ted dancing? Becuse, Yeah, that's Ted dancing. Sh

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Speaker 5: I go, well, why is he in this movie? Sh

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Speaker 5: what is this a war where everybody knows your name?

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Speaker 1: What's going on here?

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Speaker 2: So this guy's in cheers? Right, you gotta shut that up.

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Speaker 2: But he's in cheers. Now he's in my World War

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Speaker 2: two movie. He's in cheers, because yeah, he's in cheers.

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Speaker 1: I I can't watch this anymore. Opium Meat Outside.

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Speaker 2: Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now you

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Speaker 2: can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty

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Speaker 2: four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on

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Speaker 2: demand on the iHeartRadio app.