Speaker 1: Just a second date update a mojo in the morning.
Speaker 2: All right, So Nick went on a date, thought things
Speaker 2: were good, and now was getting ghosted. We're going to
Speaker 2: find out exactly why a guy's getting ghosted.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: This is Nick and a guy that he went on
Speaker 2: a date with. And Nick, how did you guys meet?
Speaker 2: We met through some friends, okay, And so was it
Speaker 2: a one time date or did you guys talk for
Speaker 2: a while and go on a couple of dates with
Speaker 2: each other?
Speaker 1: No, we went on a couple of dates.
Speaker 4: We were talking, we were texting, we it was actually
Speaker 4: about a month we were together.
Speaker 2: So it was a little relationship that was going on
Speaker 2: for a month. And his name is Leo. Leo is
Speaker 2: not calling you back. Yeah, I hate to hear this.
Speaker 2: I do hate to hear that you guys spend a
Speaker 2: month together and then somebody doesn't at least just say hey,
Speaker 2: this is the reason why.
Speaker 1: Leo is on with us.
Speaker 2: Right now, Nick said hi to Leoh.
Speaker 5: Hey, what's up?
Speaker 4: You tell me you ghosted me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you.
Speaker 2: Get so let me ask you a couple of questions
Speaker 2: because I know this is awkward for you to have
Speaker 2: to answer to that right away.
Speaker 3: Leo, So.
Speaker 1: You guys hung out with each other.
Speaker 2: For a month and then what was it that, you know,
Speaker 2: made you just not at least like call him back
Speaker 2: and go, hey, man, you know, either I'm not interested
Speaker 2: or I'm busy or what's going on? Like why why
Speaker 2: not at least give him the let's maybe pick this
Speaker 2: up at a later time whatever the deal is.
Speaker 5: Just felt like there were just too many.
Speaker 6: Things that he wasn't uh disclosing, you know, like there's
Speaker 6: just too many secrets.
Speaker 1: Do you have kids or something? Would you know what?
Speaker 1: First off? Nick? Would you know what he's talking about
Speaker 1: when he talks about secrets?
Speaker 4: You know, you know, I think I have an idea why,
Speaker 4: But you know, I if it's not that, then I
Speaker 4: don't want to say it.
Speaker 3: So I mean, you know, he could just answer.
Speaker 1: HM, well what is it?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 5: What did you realize he was keeping from you?
Speaker 7: Well?
Speaker 5: She you know, I guess like it's some medical stuff.
Speaker 2: And hold on, yeah, I mean hold on, what would
Speaker 2: you say, lydia? They cannot hear Leo? Why would they
Speaker 2: not be able to hear Leo?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I got like three calls, so they can't hear him.
Speaker 1: They can't not here Leo Leo speak up?
Speaker 5: Can you you can't hear me?
Speaker 2: I feel like we can. I can hear you? Can
Speaker 2: you hear h? Check one two? Check one two?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 5: Here you guys fine area?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 2: Can I can I say this to you? I know
Speaker 2: this is gonna sound weird because it's very rare that
Speaker 2: we do have same sex relationships. I think sometimes people
Speaker 2: hear one voice and not know whose voice is what.
Speaker 1: So that's the thing. So Nick, so Nick Nick? Is Nick? Nick?
Speaker 1: Say hello?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 1: That's Nick? Leo say hello hello?
Speaker 2: Okay, So Leo is the one that's not calling back,
Speaker 2: and Nick wants to know what's going on. Leo says
Speaker 2: it's because Nick's not telling him about some medical stuff. Nick,
Speaker 2: Are you okay with Leo telling you know the whatever
Speaker 2: it is that he's going to tell because you obviously
Speaker 2: know what he's talking about.
Speaker 4: Yeah now yeah, now I obviously know what he's talking about.
Speaker 4: And he's he's saying it's because I'm HIV positive.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, are you okay with Are you okay with
Speaker 2: talking about this?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fine because I'm also undetectable and untransmittable, so
Speaker 4: it's it's a non issue.
Speaker 2: So you're so medically you're still okay to be in
Speaker 2: relationship with somebody, which is the case for anybody that
Speaker 2: is HIV positive. So, Leo, why why does that bother
Speaker 2: you so much? I mean, you know, we were a
Speaker 2: month in before he told me, and you think that
Speaker 2: you think that he should have told you that right
Speaker 2: off the bat.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, have you.
Speaker 1: Rea intimate at all?
Speaker 9: I mean not, you know in a way that would
Speaker 9: you know risk that, but I mean, you know kind of,
Speaker 9: and I like, it's just yeah, it's it's I mean,
Speaker 9: I got tested and I'm.
Speaker 5: Clean, but you know, it's just you're not gonna tell me.
Speaker 2: Right he told he told you Leo before though, that
Speaker 2: you guys were going to ever do any kind of
Speaker 2: uh intercourse with each other?
Speaker 1: Am I safe to say that? Okay?
Speaker 2: It sounds like maybe some off stuff though? But Nick, Nick,
Speaker 2: quick quick question for you, why did you wait so long?
Speaker 4: Well, because it's you know, it's an embarrassing topic obviously,
Speaker 4: you know, it's it's a personal metal thing. And again
Speaker 4: I'm undetectable and untransmittable, so that's it's not putting any
Speaker 4: body in danger, like I understand. And and the reason
Speaker 4: I do also wait, is because of reactions like this,
Speaker 4: I mean people just us. Oh you know, oh you
Speaker 4: you've uh tested positive before, so now you know you're
Speaker 4: you're like a leopard.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: This isn't the nineties anymore. So it's a personal I understand.
Speaker 4: If you're putting somebody at risk, you know, then you
Speaker 4: know it's it's a you have responsibility to say something.
Speaker 4: But this is at this point, with current medicine and
Speaker 4: it being undetectable, it's just a personal, private medical thing
Speaker 4: for me.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And just to ask this question, you guys did not
Speaker 2: have sexual intercourse with each other. I'm assuming you guys
Speaker 2: kissed or something, and I just you know, we.
Speaker 4: We folded around and staid, but no before we had it, Yeah,
Speaker 4: any intercourse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did tell him, yes, okay, And that's when
Speaker 2: you told them, And in all fairness us to do
Speaker 2: research on this one. You cannot get HIV from normal
Speaker 2: close mouth kissing or social kissing. And that's pretty much
Speaker 2: all you guys were doing with each other.
Speaker 5: Well a little bit more than that, yeah, Well.
Speaker 2: And you told him before there was any kind of
Speaker 2: more that happened between you guys. Yeah, and this is normal, Nick,
Speaker 2: that you in relationships have not told people.
Speaker 1: Right away that's correct?
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, And Leo, do you at least look at
Speaker 2: this and say, hey, I probably should have just said
Speaker 2: to him, you know what, I'm not that you know,
Speaker 2: I'm not interested, or or said hey, this is the
Speaker 2: reason I'm not interested.
Speaker 1: Did you ever think about that?
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, I should have done all that, but
Speaker 5: you know, it's just.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I didn't, but yeah, don't.
Speaker 6: It's I don't need the I don't need the kind
Speaker 6: of mental gymnastics that somebody goes through to justify not
Speaker 6: disclosing something like that very early on, because it's like,
Speaker 6: what else are we not going to disclose because it's undetectable,
Speaker 6: you know, in one way or another, or you know
Speaker 6: that kind of yeah, you know, and a million other
Speaker 6: situations like you know what, what are you telling yourself
Speaker 6: to not disclose something?
Speaker 5: And I just I'm good.
Speaker 2: Are comments from listeners on this, and then I'm going
Speaker 2: to allow Nick an opportunity to continue. If he doesn't
Speaker 2: want to continue, then I'm okay with that. But Jasmine,
Speaker 2: would you want to.
Speaker 8: Say, you know, I think that Nick is the one
Speaker 8: that has a positive correct, Yes, Nick, yep. I think
Speaker 8: that Nick had every right in the world to not
Speaker 8: want to tell Leo at first. You know, it's really
Speaker 8: prep is really well known in the LBGP community. You know,
Speaker 8: like you said, this isn't the nineties, isn't the eighties anymore?
Speaker 8: And honestly, the likelihood that they probably have herpees is
Speaker 8: way higher. Right, It's like eighty percent of the community
Speaker 8: as a whole, you know, gay, straight, whatever, We basically
Speaker 8: all have some sort of uh, some sort of version
Speaker 8: of like cold source, right, and so I think we
Speaker 8: should be way more worried about that.
Speaker 2: At what point, though, should he say, Hey, I just
Speaker 2: want to let you know, here's what's going on medically
Speaker 2: with me.
Speaker 8: When when he is ready do I think he should
Speaker 8: have gone far and maybe done whatever they did together.
Speaker 3: Before saying it.
Speaker 8: No, However, that's something that they need to communicate about,
Speaker 8: and I think it's a shame on Leo cannot be like, hey,
Speaker 8: you know what, it made me really uncomfy that you
Speaker 8: didn't tell me this, so I need to I need.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that and that would have been I think
Speaker 2: the thing to do if Leo just said, hey, I
Speaker 2: need to process what you just told me Edward, what's up.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I don't want to tell me, but uh that
Speaker 10: I disagree with a lot of things that she says about,
Speaker 10: like stay with the herpe stuff because like I'll build
Speaker 10: on that.
Speaker 3: I have bolds. I get them.
Speaker 10: If I go out with my friends and I'm drinking beers,
Speaker 10: they want to drink my beer, I tell them like, hey, man,
Speaker 10: you know you have cold stores.
Speaker 1: Right, You're not going to get it.
Speaker 10: But just full disclosure.
Speaker 3: There it is, but also too at the.
Speaker 10: Same time, like, I'm I've been married to my wife,
Speaker 10: I've been together for thirteen years. I've never given her
Speaker 10: a cold sort just because like I'm safe with it and.
Speaker 3: And I don't have like an active.
Speaker 10: Cold sort doesn't and it's very unlikely for me to
Speaker 10: transmit it doesn't make it less of a disclosure. Like, no,
Speaker 10: you you should definitely tell people about these things moving forward.
Speaker 5: I don't care about LGBT you.
Speaker 1: He said, Oh, I'm sorry that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't mean to say spit.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 5: I know, but and listen, you got to disclose it.
Speaker 2: I I and I get that, and I get your situation,
Speaker 2: but I also feel like there's probably a lot of
Speaker 2: people out there that won't look at somebody even just
Speaker 2: to go out on a dinner date with, even if
Speaker 2: there's nothing happened in other than just going to dinner
Speaker 2: because they're so worried about it or uneducated about it.
Speaker 2: Tay is somebody who can't call it in And Tay,
Speaker 2: you told Lydia that you.
Speaker 1: Are HIV positive?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well and and.
Speaker 2: Tay, what are your thoughts on wa Nick did by
Speaker 2: not saying anything right away?
Speaker 7: Personally, I understand his feelings of like, oh, I hate
Speaker 7: getting like judge a certain type of way, but being
Speaker 7: someone who has like like lived, I do phil as
Speaker 7: if that he should have said something sooner, Like I
Speaker 7: get that, like, if that's something private. First date, maybe
Speaker 7: not say nothing because you're still trying to figure it out.
Speaker 7: Second date, when you know I actually like this person,
Speaker 7: you should say something waiting a month. That does kind
Speaker 7: of open it up for people to be like, well,
Speaker 7: why didn't two satans say anything? If you feel that
Speaker 7: everything is fine, then why couldn't do say anythings sooner?
Speaker 1: If you're talking to somebody, like I said.
Speaker 3: Like a I would say like second date, because like
Speaker 3: first date, you're really just like figuring it out. It's
Speaker 3: just like, hey, who are you this, this, and that.
Speaker 3: By the second date, you kind of have more of
Speaker 3: a vibe like I actually like this person, I actually
Speaker 3: want to do. Date number three, you should probably say
Speaker 3: something that what.
Speaker 11: Has been your experience when you have had those conversations,
Speaker 11: how has that been received, and what if people acted
Speaker 11: or said to you once you explain that to them.
Speaker 7: I will say that I haven't necessarily had any negative
Speaker 7: like reactions towards it. I'm one that's a little more
Speaker 7: selective with who I even think.
Speaker 3: That could take that conversation.
Speaker 7: Like again, that's what I said, like I've kind of
Speaker 7: fell people out before I even open myself up like
Speaker 7: that because I mean, no that dang like everybody like business.
Speaker 7: But I mean I still kind of give it some
Speaker 7: a time just to really feel as if I can
Speaker 7: think that someone is mature enough to have this real,
Speaker 7: real conversation.
Speaker 3: Then yeah.
Speaker 7: But yeah, I don't just open up to just like
Speaker 7: any and everybody. So I understand that that that feeling
Speaker 7: of not wanting to just be like, you know, just put.
Speaker 3: It out there and all of this.
Speaker 7: But yeah, if I feel serious about somebody, then I'm
Speaker 7: gonna say something, h.
Speaker 2: Nick, Do you regret not saying anything after hearing Leo
Speaker 2: talk here this morning?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: No, I don't regret because it's clearly obvious that he
Speaker 4: had this very immature and uneducated reaction.
Speaker 2: Okay, so will you continue then? If you are dating,
Speaker 2: I'm sure you are going to date. Will you continue
Speaker 2: to wait until you feel like it's right then to
Speaker 2: say something?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You know, I I heard the last person and maybe
Speaker 4: the second date, you know that I could consider instead
Speaker 4: of instead of a month, But like, this is still
Speaker 4: not something that I feel something needs to be disclosed immediately.
Speaker 1: Like on the first date, Mark is a caller, would
Speaker 1: you want to say Mark?
Speaker 12: Good morning? Guys. I just want to say that I'm
Speaker 12: sorry to say this, but I don't know this whole
Speaker 12: thing about the undetoutable. But I did time in prison
Speaker 12: for a drug case, and I was in prison with
Speaker 12: a guy that was HIV positive and did not disclose it,
Speaker 12: and his partner whoever he swift that he didn't tell,
Speaker 12: got HIV and he got two years for not doing that,
Speaker 12: two years, So very serious. I I just and I
Speaker 12: feel for for Leo like that that was kind of
Speaker 12: hope man, and then you played MEO really bad.
Speaker 2: But what if But what if you're not sexually active
Speaker 2: with the person, but you're just going on dates with them?
Speaker 12: I mean, I guess that's fine too, But I mean,
Speaker 12: if you're HIV positive and you know that things are
Speaker 12: going to happen, you have to disclose that. That is
Speaker 12: something really serious.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 11: Part of Google's it says undetectable equals untransmittable. So you know,
Speaker 11: there's longer definitions and stuff. But do your research. I
Speaker 11: think that's a huge piece of it too. Like there's
Speaker 11: such a stigma around any std str that immediately when
Speaker 11: you hear what people have you say, hands off, and
Speaker 11: I'm not trying to go down that path. And you know,
Speaker 11: like my man's I don't remember which man's has said it.
Speaker 11: I think it was Leo or Leo the one Leo.
Speaker 1: Okay, Leo.
Speaker 11: You know there have been advancements in medical you know,
Speaker 11: in the medical world.
Speaker 2: That is now what you're talking about. Next to that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's Nick is the one that's getting ghosted has Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 2: like you know, do your research. Man didn't make a decision.
Speaker 1: Second date update. It finds a lot to tell your
Speaker 1: mom phones cams and Shannon's dirty on the thirty in
Speaker 1: the morning