WEBVTT - Zack Says It Doesn't Get Easier 

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the morning show. Phone

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<v Speaker 1>numbers eight four to four Mojo Live. The text is

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<v Speaker 1>nine to five to five zero zero. If you have

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<v Speaker 1>something that you would like to comment on, you can

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<v Speaker 1>text call me and Lydia will get you on the

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<v Speaker 1>radio with us. We have a guy that works on

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<v Speaker 1>our show. His name is Zach. He is the person

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<v Speaker 1>that gets you all of our podcast plus any kind

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<v Speaker 1>of audio that comes through your speakers that's not us,

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<v Speaker 1>just individually speaking, Zach's responsible for. This guy is the best.

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<v Speaker 1>He's the man that can do. We call him Big Zach,

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<v Speaker 1>the Sultan of the Segues. Yeah, but he's also honestly

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<v Speaker 1>one of the sweetest, most sensitive guys I've ever met.

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<v Speaker 2>I love this kid like he's my son.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is a really tough time for Zach right now,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's gonna explain the reason why.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, gonna try not to get too emotional. I think

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<v Speaker 2>you guys noticed that I've been very not myself lately.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it started back in November. But I'm I'm

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<v Speaker 2>pretty depressed right now. And that's because I you know,

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<v Speaker 2>around this time of year, I have anniversary dates, like

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<v Speaker 2>death dates or you know, things that get brought up

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<v Speaker 2>and makes me feel emotional. And what's coming up now

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<v Speaker 2>is my mom's birthday is this week and it's great.

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<v Speaker 2>I love celebrating her, but my mom did pass away

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<v Speaker 2>when I was twelve, and it made me realize that

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<v Speaker 2>it's now been eighteen years since my mom has been gone.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the eighteenth year, and I don't I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think I'm over it yet. And that's kind of why

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to talk to you guys. I mean, this

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<v Speaker 2>is like my therapy, but I just I don't think

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<v Speaker 2>it ever gets easier. You know that time does heal

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<v Speaker 2>the wounds, It's just it comes in waves, and right

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<v Speaker 2>now I'm like in that wave. Yeah, yeah, howidays is

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<v Speaker 2>tough for you? Yea?

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<v Speaker 3>What day is your mom's actual birthdays?

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<v Speaker 2>After the fifteenth? So Thursday?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? What was your mom's name? Debbie? Debbie? Yeah? And

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<v Speaker 2>what do you.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember the most about your mom?

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<v Speaker 2>Her passion and and her like being like a prankster.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah, so I've never really heard you talk about

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<v Speaker 3>your mom.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah yeah, well, I mean like her personality.

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<v Speaker 3>You mentioned your mom a lot, but I've never heard

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<v Speaker 3>you Most of.

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<v Speaker 2>My memories are her like sick in hospitals, you know.

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<v Speaker 5>Tell me a story about your favorite memory with her

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<v Speaker 5>ones and I liked it. You should tell it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't. I don't know if I remember what I

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<v Speaker 2>told you, But I have a lot of She was

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<v Speaker 2>very caring. She was a gift giver. She would find

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<v Speaker 2>you know them little Pony that was limited edition for

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<v Speaker 2>my sister, and she would get it, or she would

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<v Speaker 2>get me, you know, wrestling action figures. And it's just

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really missing her right now. What was some of

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<v Speaker 2>like the pranks you used to So Halloween was her

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<v Speaker 2>favorite holiday, So she would like put like grapes and

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<v Speaker 2>she would skin them off and then put them in

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<v Speaker 2>a bowl and then have kids, you know, and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>And that really gravitated towards me.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you miss her?

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<v Speaker 5>How?

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<v Speaker 2>Like?

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<v Speaker 3>What do you do?

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<v Speaker 5>Do you?

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<v Speaker 2>I get in this fune. No, No, I don't because

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. And maybe I need to embrace that more.

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<v Speaker 2>But I don't have a lot of photos with her.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have any videos with her, you know. And

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<v Speaker 2>it's just I get in this funk and I start

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<v Speaker 2>thinking about things.

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<v Speaker 5>And your sister talk about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And and we started talking about this last week

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<v Speaker 2>and I think that's why I wanted to bring it

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<v Speaker 2>up on air, because again I didn't realize that it

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<v Speaker 2>was the eighteenth anniversary this year.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you mentioned earlier this morning when we were talking

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<v Speaker 1>about the show and laying the show out and we

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<v Speaker 1>were going to bring this up that for you, one

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<v Speaker 1>of the hard parts was that you now have lived

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<v Speaker 1>more life on this earth without her.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. It h I've I've been an adult more than

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<v Speaker 2>i've had my mom, and I don't even consider myself

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<v Speaker 2>an adult. It's just, uh, you know, there's some things

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<v Speaker 2>I wish. You know, I can talk to my sister

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<v Speaker 2>about anything. You know, it's but sometimes she's just not

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<v Speaker 2>your mom, you know, and I don't. It's not that

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm a burden, but I don't. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>everyone has limited time.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's not you know, I want you to not

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<v Speaker 1>think of when you talk to all of us about this,

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<v Speaker 1>like you're burdening us. Honestly, I'm thrilled to hear about

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<v Speaker 1>your mom. I want to first off, I want to

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<v Speaker 1>know who created and who molded this amazing guy.

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<v Speaker 2>It never gets easier.

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<v Speaker 1>I hate to say it, it really doesn't, but you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, it's not supposed to, because if it was supposed.

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<v Speaker 2>To, she wouldn't have been your mom.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's the thing I think, Zach, that you have

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<v Speaker 1>to you have to look at as use dates in

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<v Speaker 1>these anniversaries. And it's tough to say this because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't do it enough as times to celebrate them and

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<v Speaker 1>not mourning them, because that's probably what she would want

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<v Speaker 1>you to do. You know, you are an amazing guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I will say this that there are not a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people that I think that there is one

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<v Speaker 1>hundred percent affinity for in this world, Like there's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>we live in such a polarizing thing. Either people love

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<v Speaker 1>or you hate somebody. You are not just loved, you're bullloved.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know your dad wasn't really a part of

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<v Speaker 1>your life. Your mom's a reason why, and your sister,

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<v Speaker 1>but your mom, and I think that's what a great

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<v Speaker 1>celebration of her life, you know. And it sucks I

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<v Speaker 1>every time he talks, I literally go okay, oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like he's literally me. I wish I had

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<v Speaker 1>more pictures, I wish I had more videos.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. My biggest mistake is I wish I got

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<v Speaker 2>to say goodbye. Yeah and I think I think about

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<v Speaker 2>that off more than anything, and I think that's what

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<v Speaker 2>hurts the most because I'm like, man, if I just

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<v Speaker 2>had that one closure moment or something, but and people

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<v Speaker 2>don't get that, And I think I dwell on that.

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<v Speaker 2>What were you when she died? So I was in

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<v Speaker 2>the hospital. She was in her hospital, and they were

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<v Speaker 2>planning on pulling the plug, and I knew that I

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't see it. So I went in the gift shop

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<v Speaker 2>and I bought a Webkins at the time, and I

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<v Speaker 2>bought it for my cousin. And as soon as I

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<v Speaker 2>got up, she was gone.

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<v Speaker 3>And you were also twelve years old.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, and I don't think she wanted me to

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<v Speaker 2>yeah to see Yeah, at twelve, you would not have

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<v Speaker 2>said what you would say now. But right now, if

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<v Speaker 2>you had a chance to talk to her, mom, what

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<v Speaker 2>would you what would you say to her? If I

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<v Speaker 2>could talk to her now, I would ask her if

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<v Speaker 2>she's proud of me? I guarantee she is.

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<v Speaker 3>And you know, you can just talk, you can talk,

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<v Speaker 3>You can talk to her.

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<v Speaker 5>Are there any moments that you ever feel her presence,

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<v Speaker 5>like when you're doing something or just since she's with you?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, some people get those, and I envy that

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<v Speaker 2>because some people are like, Oh, my mom came to

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<v Speaker 2>me in my dreams, and I'm like, damn, dude, I

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<v Speaker 2>want that, like at least once, like can you come, come,

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<v Speaker 2>say hi or something. And I think it's just because

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<v Speaker 2>my mind blocked out so much when I was younger

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<v Speaker 2>that my mind is still doing that now. Like protecting

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<v Speaker 2>me in a way doesn't mean I still yeah, I've

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<v Speaker 2>never had that.

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<v Speaker 1>Man, I feel her presence talking about her right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I really do. I feel like her hair in this

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<v Speaker 1>room with us. You know what a weird thing is.

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<v Speaker 1>On a totally different note, next time you're masturbating knowing

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<v Speaker 1>that your mother, I think about it sometimes going on

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<v Speaker 1>to that my mom's saying to do this.

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<v Speaker 2>J Just so you know, we have different New Year's resolutions,

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<v Speaker 2>my man, Dave, what's going on?

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<v Speaker 6>Hey Mojoe, Zach. I just want to say that, like

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<v Speaker 6>I lost my mom in House five, it doesn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Ever get easier.

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<v Speaker 7>She had only cancer and died on Thanksgiving. One of

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<v Speaker 7>the worst.

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<v Speaker 6>Probably one of the worst things I had to go through.

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<v Speaker 6>But things don't ever get easier if you have memories

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<v Speaker 6>of her.

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<v Speaker 2>Think about that, trying to think about.

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<v Speaker 6>The positive things trying to think about. You know, everyone

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<v Speaker 6>believes in something. I always pray to my mom.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I don't have any I guess advice and how

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<v Speaker 5>to make things easier, because I don't think it ever

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<v Speaker 5>will get easier.

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<v Speaker 2>But you're an awesome dude, and I can promise you

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<v Speaker 2>that she's proud of you, appreciated the man.

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<v Speaker 1>Wouldn't be wild to think that our moms are and

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<v Speaker 1>I would like to think that this is what happens,

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<v Speaker 1>like Dave's mom and my mom and your mom and

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<v Speaker 1>just all our grandparents that have passed are all just listening, going,

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<v Speaker 1>why did Mojo just say that about Master?

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<v Speaker 2>What's what's up? Jessica?

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<v Speaker 7>So I just wanted to say that, first of all,

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<v Speaker 7>when you lose someone like that, especially your mother, like

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<v Speaker 7>you're literally learning to do life without the person who

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<v Speaker 7>gave it to you. So it's never the same, it's

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<v Speaker 7>just different.

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<v Speaker 8>My mum's been gone about five years and this year

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<v Speaker 8>is her sixtieth birthday on Monday, and one of the

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<v Speaker 8>things that I decided to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Was rewrite her obituary.

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<v Speaker 8>Because I always read it and I go, this isn't enough,

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<v Speaker 8>Like there was still so much more to be said,

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<v Speaker 8>And I think one of the things that we can

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<v Speaker 8>always do is exactly what you're doing now is continue

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<v Speaker 8>to talk about it, continue to tell her story, continue

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<v Speaker 8>to keep those memories and things of her alive. And

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<v Speaker 8>I was like, even if you know, only a handful

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<v Speaker 8>of our friends and family read it, at least people

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<v Speaker 8>can remember still who she.

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<v Speaker 3>Is and who she was.

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<v Speaker 4>That's actually a really good and interesting thing, Zach. Do

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<v Speaker 4>you are there other family members that you could talk

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<v Speaker 4>to to get Because you were only twelve, there's probably

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<v Speaker 4>so much about your mom that you don't even know.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe like that's that would be a therapeutic thing for

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<v Speaker 4>you to learn a little bit more about your mom

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<v Speaker 4>and her personality and what she was like in more

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<v Speaker 4>stories that you.

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<v Speaker 2>Sure you know, Yeah, I've had these these waves before.

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<v Speaker 2>When I turned twenty one, I got to talk to

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<v Speaker 2>my you know aunts, and yeah, before my grandma died,

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<v Speaker 2>I got to talk to her. But you know, it's

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<v Speaker 2>just still one of those things. Yeah, you know, hey, Medina,

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<v Speaker 2>what's happening?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay?

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<v Speaker 6>I understand completely. Was that just going through And the

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<v Speaker 6>only thing, actually, the only advice I can give you

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<v Speaker 6>is to embrace all of the good memories. This year,

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<v Speaker 6>I absolutely despised the holidays because I lost my mom.

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<v Speaker 6>But this year, almost twelve years later, I literally embraced

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<v Speaker 6>the s out of Christ. My house was grin, shout

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<v Speaker 6>and everything, and I was determined to have a good

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<v Speaker 6>holiday because I have not had a good holiday in

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<v Speaker 6>about fifteen years. And I made all of that every

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<v Speaker 6>Christmas movie that she forced me to watch, I watched

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<v Speaker 6>it everything that she wanted to do on her birthday previously.

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<v Speaker 6>I did it just because sometimes and some of those

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<v Speaker 6>things I did alone, but I needed that alone time

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<v Speaker 6>as well. And embrace all of those feelings that like

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<v Speaker 6>you are allowed to feel things. And I'm so upset

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<v Speaker 6>because I'm crying and it's Monday morning. A great topic.

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<v Speaker 6>This is a great topic because I feel like we

0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.320
<v Speaker 6>don't talk about lost no, no, but yeah, just just

0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.800
<v Speaker 6>embrace it and just hold up to those great memories.

0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.040
<v Speaker 6>And for sure, one hundred percent, she is extremely proud

0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.000
<v Speaker 6>of you, extremely proud of you.

0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.920
<v Speaker 1>Again, if they weren't so great, it wouldn't hurt as

0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:41.560
<v Speaker 1>much as it hurts.

0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.240
<v Speaker 6>Exactly the exact thing. And we are all praying for

0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.920
<v Speaker 6>you that I really hope that you can can embrace

0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.679
<v Speaker 6>that and come out of this month because people who

0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 6>have lost Charence, we all know what that punk is.

0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.040
<v Speaker 2>I really appreciate you, and I want you to know

0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:56.920
<v Speaker 2>that I'm proud of you.

0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:04.240
<v Speaker 6>Well try more, Okay, good morning to say something about.

0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:09.520
<v Speaker 1>I love that you brought this up on the air,

0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:11.160
<v Speaker 1>because I think that we need to bring your.

0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.160
<v Speaker 2>Mom up more often. For sure, I really do.

0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.440
<v Speaker 1>And I think, honestly it's one of those things. You

0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.520
<v Speaker 1>guys got a chance this past year to kind of

0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.160
<v Speaker 1>see more of my family with everything that we had.

0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:22.920
<v Speaker 1>I know, I've met your sister and gotten a chance

0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:26.720
<v Speaker 1>to see what she's like. I think sometimes you don't

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:31.440
<v Speaker 1>understand how being around people that know who you are

0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:34.719
<v Speaker 1>when you had your innocence and stuff like that, You're

0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:37.000
<v Speaker 1>being a child and stuff. And I will say this,

0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.160
<v Speaker 1>I know for a fact this because I lived it.

0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:42.480
<v Speaker 1>You did not live a normal childhood, you know what

0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean. You lived probably in the fear that your

0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.360
<v Speaker 1>mom was going to die at any moment all the time.

0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:50.280
<v Speaker 1>And that's the hardest thing to live with, you know

0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.200
<v Speaker 1>what I mean. And that's why I sit there and

0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:55.000
<v Speaker 1>I think to myself, with you, there is one of

0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:58.880
<v Speaker 1>those things where your mom you didn't get to say

0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.520
<v Speaker 1>goodbye to, but you all through the years, we're saying

0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.360
<v Speaker 1>goodbye to her, you know. And I wouldn't hold that

0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:07.920
<v Speaker 1>too hard to and you can talk to her now,

0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.920
<v Speaker 1>for God's sake, you know what I mean. So I

0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.120
<v Speaker 1>appreciate you, and thanks for giving me this time. Well

0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:16.600
<v Speaker 1>you went over by about tour and a half minutes.

0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm not the guy controlling.

0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:23.040
<v Speaker 2>How much do we love this guy? I love you guys.

0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:25.960
<v Speaker 5>Blowing up my phone right now saying I love sex

0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:26.520
<v Speaker 5>so much.

0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:28.520
<v Speaker 2>Tell her I love her. I hope you get laid

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:31.360
<v Speaker 2>off of this topic. That's not the poor any girls

0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:31.920
<v Speaker 2>out there.

0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:34.240
<v Speaker 1>That are literally single and want to just really make

0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 1>a man feel good.

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 2>Jesus, but my phone number is seven