WEBVTT - Going to Bed Angry 

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the morning. Yes, good

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<v Speaker 1>to have you guys here with us today. A couple

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<v Speaker 1>of things I thought were interesting I want to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about real quick. One is there was a study that

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<v Speaker 1>was just recently done that says that the whole theory

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<v Speaker 1>of couples should never go to bed angry is actually

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<v Speaker 1>they say bs. They say people never going to bed

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<v Speaker 1>angry isn't always the best advice for couples. Arguing late

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<v Speaker 1>at night can make things worse because people are tired, hungry,

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<v Speaker 1>and emotional, but experts suggest waiting until you're both calm

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<v Speaker 1>and rested to actually work out the argument is probably

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<v Speaker 1>the healthier thing to do. It's funny because of I

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<v Speaker 1>always have heard in therapists have always said, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>ever want to go to bed angry because it's going

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<v Speaker 1>to give you a bad night's sleep, and you know

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<v Speaker 1>all this stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>My therapist says totally the opposite. Yes, Mike, Karen who

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<v Speaker 2>actually going to see later today. She said, especially like

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<v Speaker 2>Wes and I have learned this the hard way, where

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<v Speaker 2>we've tried to come to a resolution. If we're having

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<v Speaker 2>some sort of conflict and then it's midnight and we're

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<v Speaker 2>both just like exhausted and not our best.

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<v Speaker 3>But I like, I think it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Better to separate a little bit and process and calm

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<v Speaker 2>down and then come back the next morning and like

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<v Speaker 2>finish whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>And that you were talking about. That's what the therapists say. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it's so much better. We can be angry.

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<v Speaker 4>We don't got to be best friends in cool bay

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<v Speaker 4>yea and set our differences. But you better say I

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<v Speaker 4>love you. Well, here's an interesting I'll go to.

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<v Speaker 3>Sleep and say I love you. I don't like you

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<v Speaker 3>right now, I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>I always say that it's always better to just get

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<v Speaker 1>a little angry.

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<v Speaker 3>Section, right, huh. Ain't nothing wrong with that person.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, I will say this to you, And

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<v Speaker 1>I've talked to my therapist about this one. My therapist

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<v Speaker 1>always says, beware of the people that bring fights up

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<v Speaker 1>at night, right before bed, because usually those people are

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<v Speaker 1>trying to manipulate your sleep habits. And it's interesting because

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<v Speaker 1>I told him, Yeah, a couple of times, tell us

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<v Speaker 1>and I would get in fights because I'd bring something

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<v Speaker 1>up before bed, and he says, you better be careful.

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<v Speaker 1>You're trying to manipulate her sleeping And like, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you mean like, he's basically saying, you got a problem,

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<v Speaker 1>bring it up at three in the afternoon. Don't bring

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<v Speaker 1>it up at you know, nine o'clock at night or

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<v Speaker 1>ten o'clock at night. He says, you're manipulating her and

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<v Speaker 1>her rest, and he is, that's a little too much, bro. Honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>I are you intentionally not wanting her to get a good,

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<v Speaker 1>nice sleep? Throw Well, you don't necessarily think you are,

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<v Speaker 1>but you are. I think manipulation has an intentionality factor.

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<v Speaker 1>Associate with and on it. But I'll be honest with you,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd stop doing it. And I realized that it made

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<v Speaker 1>me healthier person to say, hey, I'm a little you know,

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<v Speaker 1>upset by something at two in the afternoon, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>before the kids are home and all that. Here's something interesting.

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<v Speaker 1>Zip coding is a new dating trend. There's a new

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<v Speaker 1>dating trend called zip coding, where people look up dat

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<v Speaker 1>it's close to their own zip code. So the idea

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<v Speaker 1>of dating the local, because you don't want to find

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<v Speaker 1>yourself in a And we're going to talk about something

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<v Speaker 1>with Anna a little later this morning on the show,

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<v Speaker 1>because Anna is not a very good zip coding person.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's interesting. I want to know if any of

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<v Speaker 1>our listeners do that. Do you set your range on

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<v Speaker 1>whatever your dating app is to be a lot tighter

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<v Speaker 1>range because the idea that you don't potentially want to

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<v Speaker 1>find yourself driving forty five minutes to an hour to

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<v Speaker 1>go see the person. Because they say that one of

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<v Speaker 1>the reasons why zip coding is so good is they

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<v Speaker 1>find that the relationships last because people will find themselves

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<v Speaker 1>more comfortable in that.

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<v Speaker 3>And I like this.

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<v Speaker 1>This is one of those topics where I sat there

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<v Speaker 1>and I saw it and I thought, oh, this is

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<v Speaker 1>this is actually really good. A woman goes on a

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<v Speaker 1>date with a guy when he rejects When she rejects

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<v Speaker 1>his advance, he asks her to pay him back. She

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<v Speaker 1>posted on Reddit after spending a weekend with a man

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<v Speaker 1>who visited her. She received a text later from him

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<v Speaker 1>asking to pay for half of the weekend, a total

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<v Speaker 1>cost of about one hundred and six dollars, claiming that

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<v Speaker 1>she actually should pay for this because it didn't turn

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<v Speaker 1>out to be a great date. People on Reddit are

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<v Speaker 1>commenting on this saying, yeah, I think that you should

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<v Speaker 1>probably pay if the date didn't go necessarily as planned,

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<v Speaker 1>And then another person said that I don't think you

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<v Speaker 1>deserve to have to pay for it. If he paid

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<v Speaker 1>for it in the beginning, just because it didn't turn

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<v Speaker 1>out great doesn't mean that you should be paying for it.

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<v Speaker 2>The risk you take going out on a date not guaranteed.

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<v Speaker 1>She claims that she already paid some of the expenses.

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<v Speaker 1>She said she paid seventy dollars at a bar, and

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<v Speaker 1>she had to pay forty dollars for parking, But the

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<v Speaker 1>extra hundred bless you. The extra hundred and six dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>She didn't feel like she needed to pay because he

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<v Speaker 1>chose to put his card down initially for that.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like I said, that's the risk. Now's a guy

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<v Speaker 4>like that's what you You go out, you pay.

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<v Speaker 3>For the date.

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<v Speaker 1>I like the whole before you go on a date

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<v Speaker 1>with somebody, I like the whole boy.

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<v Speaker 3>Year, Are you doing okay over there?

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<v Speaker 1>This is cold and flu season, Michael, I can you

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<v Speaker 1>didn't turn your mic off and every other MIC's on.

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<v Speaker 3>Remember we're in.

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<v Speaker 1>A little studio here. But I had a buddy of

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<v Speaker 1>mine that you should say or your money back. He

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<v Speaker 1>used to tell girls before he would go on the date.

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<v Speaker 1>He would say to them, I will promise you a

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<v Speaker 1>great date or your money back.

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<v Speaker 3>And he said that he went with girls and they

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<v Speaker 3>were like.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, okay, great, and they thought that that was kind

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<v Speaker 1>of fun, and it was he would pay for everything

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<v Speaker 1>that was on the date, and he found that going

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<v Speaker 1>into the date with that attitude was them having more

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<v Speaker 1>fun knowing, Okay, this is actually going to be kind

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<v Speaker 1>of cool. Yeah, he never got his money back, And

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<v Speaker 1>I actually use a single guy still, so uh, text

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<v Speaker 1>here here in nine five five zero zero, going to

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<v Speaker 1>bed angry is actually, now, that's a good thing to do.

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<v Speaker 1>My husband and I fight all the time, and I

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<v Speaker 1>actually think that when we're fighting at night and we

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<v Speaker 1>go to bed angry, we wake up the next morning

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<v Speaker 1>and carry it on to a really bad work day.

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<v Speaker 4>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>And then a couple other people here that say that Mojo,

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<v Speaker 1>I think Mojo needs a new therapist.

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<v Speaker 3>Have a great day.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone is probably who knows, Lee, we were talking about

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<v Speaker 1>going to bed angry. You want to comment on.

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<v Speaker 3>That, Lee, Yeah, I just my mom always told me

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<v Speaker 3>not to go to bed angry because you never know,

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<v Speaker 3>like what are you or the other person is going.

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<v Speaker 4>To wake up?

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<v Speaker 3>You know, that's actually a really good point I get

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<v Speaker 3>with that guilt if God forbid that happen.

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<v Speaker 1>Could you imagine, honestly, that would be horrendous guilt to

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<v Speaker 1>have to go to h and live with for the

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<v Speaker 1>rest of your life.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'll take my chances. I want a good nights. No,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm that way.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually feel that same way, and that's why I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I got to work it out.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what I feel like, Sam, I.

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<v Speaker 4>Love you with my husband all the time to make

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<v Speaker 4>sure that we're in a good before we.

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<v Speaker 3>Go, even if you don't solve it.

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<v Speaker 4>In my mind, like you never want to leave a

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<v Speaker 4>situation with hating your heart, everyone to go to sleep

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<v Speaker 4>with hating your heart.

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<v Speaker 3>And by saying I love you that releases some of it,

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<v Speaker 3>at least in my opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Lee, I think angry sex is about sex too.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you think that, But what do

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<v Speaker 3>you think? My kids are in the car, so I

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<v Speaker 1>Can't all right, Sorry about that, Mom,