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Speaker 1: Since I had kids, nobody's ever talking to me about

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Speaker 1: razor blades and apples or like, don't do this candy right?

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Speaker 2: Only one time, like sifted through kids candy, but that

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Speaker 2: was it. After that, She's like, why would go through it?

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Speaker 2: But I wasn't.

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Speaker 3: I would under the pretext of like kids sometimes dangerous

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Speaker 3: stuff happens on Halloween. Meanwhile I'm pocketing, Like, yeah, you're snicker,

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Speaker 3: you're collecting dad tax.

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Speaker 1: Somebody that was trigger treating. Was the first time I

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Speaker 1: heard the dad tax term, and I love it. I'm

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Speaker 1: a big fan.

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Speaker 3: Gary and Shannon k if. I am six forty live

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Speaker 3: everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Shannon, I can't believe what you just said. I

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Speaker 2: had to do a double take, and then I.

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Speaker 1: Realized you were talking about Gary's dad and how he

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Speaker 1: looked in pants anyway.

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Speaker 3: My Well, the good news is you've never seen him

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Speaker 3: not in pants.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 3: No, Now I know something I could never unknown.

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Speaker 2: Well, I take that back. You you did see the

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Speaker 2: fourth I say that there's probably in shorts.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he was wearing shorts. It was one hundred and

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Speaker 4: fifteen degrees.

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Speaker 1: Is your guarantee that he was your dad? Haves with

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Speaker 1: like the knees and calves that had never seen the

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Speaker 1: light of day.

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Speaker 3: When he wore shorts, my wife used to, Okay, in

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Speaker 3: the last couple of months of dad's life, he was

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Speaker 3: basically in the front room like he wasn't he wasn't

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Speaker 3: bed ridden the entire time, but he was he was

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Speaker 3: not entirely mobile, and he would wear shorts because it

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Speaker 3: was more comfortable. And his legs were lily white, I mean,

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Speaker 3: untouched by the smidgen of a ray of sunshine.

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Speaker 2: But you turn off the lights and they glow. A

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Speaker 2: fixed skin.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, perfect, And she would always say that is the

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Speaker 3: absolute best argument for protecting your skin from sundown.

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Speaker 4: Did he was see a big protector of No.

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Speaker 2: He just wore pants.

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Speaker 1: My son, my seventeen year old son, is already a

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Speaker 1: sixty two year old man.

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Speaker 2: He does not like shorts. Like he comes out of

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Speaker 2: his room when it's like three. Not that bad, but

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Speaker 2: pretty close.

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Speaker 1: He's definitely fashioned, like I since he was like ten

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Speaker 1: years old. I've been going to him going this match

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Speaker 1: is right because he just it's like an actual thing.

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Speaker 2: He just knows how to do. I've never had this.

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Speaker 1: He's got this fashion sense that he was just born

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Speaker 1: with and he dresses well. He looks good, but when

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Speaker 1: it's hot, he comes out and he's like, I gotta

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Speaker 1: wear shorts.

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Speaker 3: He better get him something with a front bleak. He

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Speaker 3: was not available for consultation on this outfit. You know why.

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Speaker 2: That's extra funny. No, sometimes the truth is funnier. Parents.

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Speaker 2: My wife did this.

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Speaker 3: Parents are joining face group Facebook groups for their kids school.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times it helps just disseminate simple information

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Speaker 3: about your kids and they're off at school. Nope, sometimes,

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Speaker 3: most of the time a giant bitch fest where all

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Speaker 3: you do is complain about something. Really, Now, I will

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Speaker 3: say this, when my daughter, my wife was yes, but

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Speaker 3: when my daughter was in college, it was deep COVID,

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Speaker 3: and the schools were running around with their heads cut

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Speaker 3: off because they thought that children were dying, which they weren't,

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Speaker 3: especially not college kids. But all of these ridiculous restrictions

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Speaker 3: that were put on the absolute healthiest kids, the healthiest

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Speaker 3: part of our population, was a real generator of frustration

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Speaker 3: among the parents that were involved.

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Speaker 2: So that was where it became a huge issue.

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Speaker 1: But this is more talking about parents being overinvolved in

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Speaker 1: the academics in the way that like a lot of

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Speaker 1: elementary schools seems to be okay, Like you volunteer in

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Speaker 1: the classroom, you help out, you maybe take home and

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Speaker 1: you cut out the things sort of the art project

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Speaker 1: the next day. These are parents who are like asking

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Speaker 1: on these Facebook groups like how do I get access

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Speaker 1: to see my kids grades while they're in college? And

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Speaker 1: these are this is and what's funny is I read this,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh. And then Julie Lefcott Haims,

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Speaker 1: who wrote a great book called How to Raise in

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Speaker 1: a Adult. She was the Diana freshman student. She was

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Speaker 1: interviewed for this article because her entire book was about

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Speaker 1: how she realized at Stanford University, more and more freshmen

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Speaker 1: were coming into the school ill equipped to be on

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Speaker 1: their own because their parents had handled everything, and that

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Speaker 1: parents were actually staying for the first month that the

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Speaker 1: kid was in school to help them, basically.

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Speaker 2: Staying in Palo Alto staying up.

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Speaker 1: There like in a hotel, doing laundry, preparing meals, helping

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Speaker 1: them with homework and everything to help them transition easier

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Speaker 1: into adulthood. And this scares the living crap out of me,

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like I did pretty good, but this

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Speaker 1: idea that they don't they don't know how to deal

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Speaker 1: with negative experiences. There's a kid in here who basically said,

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Speaker 1: like I saw it or no, I saw an interview

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Speaker 1: recently on a show where the kids said.

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Speaker 2: Like, you're so involved.

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Speaker 1: By the time I got went to college, I didn't

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Speaker 1: really know how to have my own voice or my

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Speaker 1: own opinions because all my decisions were made for me.

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Speaker 2: Like, she's an adult.

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Speaker 1: In her nineteen twenty years old and can't make the

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Speaker 1: choices because she has no practice doing it and it's

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Speaker 1: so basic, right, it's a weird.

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Speaker 4: I don't understand imagine it would be hard for moms though,

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Speaker 4: when that's part the ingrained in you to help your

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Speaker 4: kid make right choices, especially if they're under your roof

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Speaker 4: and you want to kind of steer them into it,

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Speaker 4: there's always going to be a degree of Okay, I'm

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Speaker 4: out on my own. My mom's not here to tell

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Speaker 4: me what to do, what do I do? And that's

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Speaker 4: part of the learning process, right.

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Speaker 2: You got to hit those guardrails, you do your.

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Speaker 4: Best help you can, and then you let as you

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Speaker 4: set them free. And when you get set free right away,

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Speaker 4: you're gonna be like good. What do I do now?

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Speaker 1: Oh, and you're probably gonna hit those guardrails a little

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Speaker 1: harder than like, I don't know, I don't I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying I'm doing it perfect, but I feel like at

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Speaker 1: this age, I've definitely taken off the training wheels and

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Speaker 1: gone back inside the house while they're riding the bike

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Speaker 1: of life around the block on their own. Like, I

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Speaker 1: give them guidance, but I tell them a lot. Even

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Speaker 1: when they're getting back grades. I said, listen, you're going

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Speaker 1: to have to figure this out. If you want help,

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Speaker 1: you got to come and ask me for help. But

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Speaker 1: you're at a point in your life where you're gonna

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Speaker 1: make your own choice, and my job is just to

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Speaker 1: give you the consequences of that choice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And there's a different like you point of in here.

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Speaker 3: It refers to parents figuring out how to get, like

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Speaker 3: you said, access to their kids' grades. And when our

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Speaker 3: daughter was in college, the very first thing, not the

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Speaker 3: first thing. Some of the things we said included like, hey,

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Speaker 3: this is your job. Your job is to keep track

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Speaker 3: of this stuff. Your job is to figure out how

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Speaker 3: to stay on top of homework and on top of projects.

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Speaker 3: If you need help, I know a couple of people

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Speaker 3: who've been to college, and we could at least help

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Speaker 3: formulate some plans on how to do that, right, But

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Speaker 3: we're not going to come in and give you a plan.

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Speaker 3: If something starts to fall through the cracks and you

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Speaker 3: need help, just ask for it.

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Speaker 1: We got plenty of it. Yeah, you need to be

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Speaker 1: afford to ask for it. I love what Julie said

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Speaker 1: her quote in this article. You're effectively occupying the student's

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Speaker 1: lane and pushing your own student out of it. You're

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Speaker 1: depriving them of having those very experiences because I'm so

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Speaker 1: afraid that they are so incapable that I'm choosing to

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Speaker 1: do it all for them, right, It doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be fine, though. I'mure everybody's gonna be good. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you have no control over it.

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Speaker 4: They're out there. The training rails are off.

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Speaker 2: Parenting regrets.

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Speaker 3: I think it's very funny because they're all things that

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Speaker 3: we have said, you'd say repeatedly, repeatedly to not do,

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Speaker 3: but when you're in the moment as a parent, it's

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Speaker 3: hard to follow your own rules sometimes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do you guys have regrets? I have? I have

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Speaker 2: one that I have I was going to ask you

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Speaker 2: if you have the same thing.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot like I'll rattle some off, trying to

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Speaker 1: parent like my parents did, trying to keep everything fair,

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Speaker 1: worrying about grades in middle school, which I thought is

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Speaker 1: interesting because they're like middle school. No, it doesn't matter,

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Speaker 1: nobody cares, which I don't.

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Speaker 4: Know if I agree to get your kids in the

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Speaker 4: habit of yeah, that's what.

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Speaker 2: I would have imagine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, lots of cell phone stuff, letting them have cell

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Speaker 1: phones too early, feeling guilt.

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Speaker 2: That would be mine is the cell phone thing.

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Speaker 3: But I mean it's again, and it's one of those

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Speaker 3: hard things where it's not just me. It's not as

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Speaker 3: simple as saying no cell phone until your eighteen, just

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Speaker 3: because the way the world works now, it's hard to

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Speaker 3: u and the different options that are available about a

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Speaker 3: restricted cell phone or a dumb phone or a flip

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Speaker 3: like all of those.

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Speaker 2: It's it's not as easy as just a straight up band.

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Speaker 1: There's one in here that said when my daughter came

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Speaker 1: out to me, my first response was no, you aren't,

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Speaker 1: instead of I love you and I'm always here for you.

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Speaker 1: And my first thought was I always trying to think

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Speaker 1: of what's on the other end of that, I think

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Speaker 1: if my son, which I think makes me bad, like

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Speaker 1: if my son came to me when he was like

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Speaker 1: six or seven, is like I think I'm gay. I

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Speaker 1: think my knee jerk reaction would be like, no, you're not,

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Speaker 1: Like you don't know that now, right, Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: don't know that's the that's the truth. Like I could

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Speaker 1: definitely I'm really stepping on a lot of lammines here,

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Speaker 1: Like I could definitely see myself falling into that trap,

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Speaker 1: like and not not being open minded, not and I'm

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Speaker 1: not homophobic, like if they were like great, I'm also

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Speaker 1: the guy that when I had to talk with him

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Speaker 1: and I said, it's okay if you're gay, and I said,

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Speaker 1: I get it, but I'm not.

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Speaker 3: I go right, But if you were, you kept plushing

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Speaker 3: three and the gay Yet we're trying.

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Speaker 4: At the root of everything is you want your kids

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Speaker 4: to be happy, yes, and you don't want them him

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Speaker 4: have things harder for them than life is already hard. Right,

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Speaker 4: So I think probably it has nothing to do what

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Speaker 4: you think about gay people. You just want it the

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Speaker 4: easiest path possible naturally.

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Speaker 2: Which I fight against because you're right.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the mistake that modern parents make is

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Speaker 1: like what we talked about before with college, Like everybody's

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Speaker 1: trying to make it easier for their kids, and I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's actually making it easier. But to answer

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Speaker 1: your question, my big regret regret or regret was when

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Speaker 1: my son was like six years old, five or six,

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't take cough medicine. It would make him sick

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Speaker 1: and he would throw up. And then he was able

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Speaker 1: to take it, and then he got this cold and

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Speaker 1: he took it and he threw up, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: we're not going backwards like you could do this. We're

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Speaker 1: going to find a way around it. And it was

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Speaker 1: this thing where every time I thought this is going

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Speaker 1: to be the time, and I kept saying, we're going

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Speaker 1: to try this, We're going to try this, And at

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Speaker 1: a certain point he had nothing left to hurl. So

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Speaker 1: he's just gagging a lot. And if I could go

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Speaker 1: back in a race that day, I would. He remembers it,

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Speaker 1: but he doesn't see a like me being awful. But

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Speaker 1: I think that's just the way children look at their parents,

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Speaker 1: maybe unfortunately, but that's my big parental regrets.

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Speaker 2: He's letting you off the hook. I know maybe, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: to take advantage of that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you had a million other great days.

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Speaker 3: Let him forget that. Why but do you have any

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Speaker 3: gary or just a phone thing? Yeah, that's right. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'm sure there's probably others in but I never did

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Speaker 3: that to my child like you did.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Hey, sorry, don't pretend. Don't pretend.

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Speaker 4: Do you want me a moment right now? I'll totally

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Speaker 4: do it.

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Speaker 2: That doesn't make it better.

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Speaker 4: They make me. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes you just

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Speaker 4: throw up.

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Speaker 1: That is so diabolical. They make new ones about my regret.

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Speaker 1: That's not a regret, to be fair, you don't regret

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Speaker 1: that one bit. You have no remorse yet.

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Speaker 2: That was the that was the sniper shot. You should

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Speaker 2: be proud.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure at dinner if it happened today, it's dinner,

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Speaker 1: dinner time with Craig, you're gonna be like, guess this one.

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Speaker 2: Look at what the gem I dropped today? That those

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Speaker 2: kinds of lines all the time Craig does or he's

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Speaker 2: a dude.

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Speaker 4: He also outwears things and wears them for too long.

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Speaker 2: You know all dudes do that. Hey, listen to travel.

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Speaker 3: You should be happy, right this old bag of shoes,

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Speaker 3: a worn out mark, the piece of converse state.

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Speaker 2: They make new ones of those two we've seen them.

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Speaker 2: Gary and Shannon will continue right after this