1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Although 2 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: it may be said that all love has romance, I 3 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: assure you all romance does not have love. Every year 4 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: in the United States and beyond, as February fourteenth, Valentine's Day, 5 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: people's minds turn to all things love and romance. But 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: don't be confused, as they are not synonymous as many 7 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: people think. Romance can be defined as an intense, often 8 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: short lived attraction, fascination, or some sort of enthusiasm for 9 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: something or someone. Usually, this romantic attraction is based on 10 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: some outer quality, some outside quality that is mysterious or 11 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: fascinating that they grab your attention, like something that appears 12 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: adventurous or unusually beautiful or heroic in some way, shape 13 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,839 Speaker 1: or form, and it makes it takes your eyes off 14 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: of other things, focusing them upon this and feeling those 15 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: romantic kind of intense feelings. This type of romance is temporary. 16 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: It's rooted in fantasy, mostly never growing past the level 17 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:37,759 Speaker 1: of infatuation. It stays at that level of what could 18 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: be or what it might be, or some sort of 19 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: feeling that this is like a movie or some love story. 20 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: It's like a romance novel the concept of being swept 21 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: away in some sort of perfection. But life is not 22 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: life that like that at all. If real love was 23 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: only romance, relationships would never really have a chance at all. 24 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: They would be be cursed to remain superficial at best. Yet, 25 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: around this time, as you and others think about Valentine's Day, 26 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 1: you get wrapped up in the synthetic nature of love, 27 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: that very superficial part. It becomes almost like the the 28 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: emotional Christmas. You know, those people in your life and 29 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,119 Speaker 1: maybe this is you that don't go to church at all, 30 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: and then around Christmas or Easter they'll go. It's Valentine's 31 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: Day can be like that as well. You don't put 32 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,839 Speaker 1: in the time, You don't really show your love. It's like, oh, well, 33 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: you know, all I have to do is get expensive 34 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: flowers or do something that shows my love in a 35 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: big way, just this one time. That should cover it 36 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: for a little while. I know, man, you are like 37 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: that quite a bit, where you will tend to throw 38 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: money at Valentine's Day instead of really putting in the time, 39 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: the real time in a relationship. So all this romance 40 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: stays on that synthetic very superficial level, never growing very 41 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: deep at all. And your love has to be more 42 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: than a greeting card's sappy notions. Your love has to 43 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: be more than a feeling, and your love, it has 44 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: to be even more than just an action, has to 45 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: be more than that, deeper than that. In this time 46 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: of the year, it's very very easy to get lost 47 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: in those romantic notions and not really see where romance 48 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: should be a natural offspring of true love. Sometimes romance 49 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: is used to kind of cover up the deficiencies in 50 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: a relationship, the problems that everybody knows exists but nobody 51 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: wants to talk about. If you get lost in it 52 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: that way, then you never really see what the relationship 53 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: needs and how it can benefit from from some intense 54 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: honesty and time. Money is a commodity you can make 55 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: more of, So if you pass that along to somebody, 56 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: or you just dump money into a situation, that doesn't 57 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: really show everything that you have. Time is the only 58 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: commodity in your life that you cannot make more of, 59 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: So giving of your time, truly giving of your time, 60 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: that shows love and intensity. So it has to be 61 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 1: more than a feeling. Real love has to be more 62 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: than just an action. Scripture says love is more than 63 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: a feeling or an action, It is a lifetime of actions, 64 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: this state of a total and complete unselfishness toward one another. 65 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: And one word love is sacrifice. John fifteen thirteen says 66 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 1: greater love has no one than this, that one lay 67 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: down his life for his friends. This verse certainly means 68 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: being willing to give one's life for another is the ultimate, 69 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: the height of unselfish love and sacrifice. But God also 70 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: says that you can't and you should be a living 71 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: sacrifice ongoing Romans twelve to one. Therefore, I urge you, brethren, 72 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a 73 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God, which is your 74 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: spiritual service of worship. Getting in that mindset of wanting 75 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 1: to give and give totally is hard to do. And 76 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: the reason it is is that essentially you desire as 77 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: a human to be selfish. The enemy wants you to 78 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: be in that mindset, to only be thinking about yourself. 79 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: And if you get lost in this selfish attitude, thinking 80 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: only about your needs, only about your wants, then you 81 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: can't ever give or receive true love because it only 82 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 1: is about you. It becomes only about what you want, 83 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: only about what you need, and you lose sight of 84 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: the other person. Sometimes, in if you've been to camp 85 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: as a young kid, or you've seen been to a 86 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: camp for maybe your children, sometimes they do these experience 87 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: experiments that teach about the importance of needing other people 88 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: in their lives. And one of them is the chair 89 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: of the sitting circle, the human chair circle, and that's 90 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: where you get oh, six, eight, ten people and they 91 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: stand in a circle, facing the backs of the other 92 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: person and making a circle, and they all sit down 93 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: at the same time, and what ends up happening is 94 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: the knees of the person behind you become your seat. 95 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: And really the only way this works is if everyone 96 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: does it. If somebody stays remains standing, there is no 97 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: seat for the person in front of them, and the 98 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: circle fails. Everyone has to participate. Now, that's with many people, 99 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: but imagine this in a relationship. The only way the 100 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: two of you can really get what you need is 101 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: if you focus on your partner totally and they focus 102 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: on you totally, and that between the two of you, 103 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: everyone gets taken care of. If you only focus on yourself. 104 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 1: You were like that that guy that remains standing, that 105 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: that child in the in the chair circle that remains standing, 106 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: and the person in front has no chair sit down. 107 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: Imagine if you will leaning completely and totally on one another, 108 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:57,439 Speaker 1: and how in that state everyone gets covered because you're 109 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: relying on one another, totally, taking care of one another totally. 110 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: It's when something breaks that that harmony, when you feel 111 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: like you're not being fulfilled or you feel like you're 112 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: not being taken care of, that you break out of 113 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,479 Speaker 1: that and it's kind of an every person for themselves 114 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 1: type attitude. The ball gets dropped and somebody will end 115 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: up losing in that True love thinks about everyone but itself. 116 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: True love isn't selfish, It isn't rigid and locked in 117 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: its own ways. True love, by by very definition, has 118 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: to be adaptable, ready, willing, and able to adjust to 119 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 1: the needs of others. With Valentine's Day, you can't help 120 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: but be in that that love mindset, that romance mindset. 121 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,439 Speaker 1: But it's important that you see the two as completely 122 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: different things. And that doesn't mean that they don't play 123 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: a part somewhere with one another, but they certainly are 124 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: not synonymous. And it seems that around this time more 125 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: and more people try and force them into to be 126 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: the same thing. And that doesn't mean that love doesn't 127 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: have romance in it, but not all romance has love. 128 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: And when you twist them together and assume that they're 129 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: the same thing, or assume that they are a part 130 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: of each other always, you can get a very skewed 131 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: perception of what love is and romantic attraction, those types 132 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: of things can be based on a lot of superficial 133 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: a lot of appearance type things. What I want you 134 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,719 Speaker 1: to know is that real love is about sacrifice. It's 135 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: about giving things up, not only not gaining them. What 136 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: you do gain is in a relationship is a true partner, 137 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: and that's important. But there's more to it than just 138 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 1: those things. True love genuinely thinks about everyone but itself. 139 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: True love, by definition, cannot be selfish or that kind 140 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,200 Speaker 1: of rigidity that comes with someone that only wants what 141 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: they want and don't care about anyone else and what 142 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:36,079 Speaker 1: they want or need or think about. It can't be rigid, 143 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 1: It can't be locked in its own ways. It has 144 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 1: to be adaptable. True love must be able to be 145 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 1: ready to adapt to the needs of those around them, 146 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: willing and able to adjust to the needs of those 147 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: that are around them. Many times in scripture it refers 148 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 1: to someone who can't receive God's love as someone who 149 00:11:56,040 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: has hardened their heart. Always seen it in your life 150 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: as well. When someone is so rigid, so hardened, so 151 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 1: focused on themselves, they can't truly love someone else. And 152 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: maybe you're the one that falls into this category. You 153 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: get to that place where it's so much about you 154 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,839 Speaker 1: and the way you want things that there's no way 155 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: to be pliable, to adapt to the needs of those 156 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 1: around you. That's not love at all. Love won't ever 157 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: find its way into the that tightly woven selfishness. There's 158 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: no place for it because the only room in a 159 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: place that cramped is a room for I, not room 160 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: for we. So don't confuse love with romance. I know 161 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: that right now. The key thing all over the place 162 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 1: on television commercials, you go to the grocery store, the 163 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 1: aisles seem to turn to pink and red and white, 164 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: these colors of Valentine's Day, and the focus gets tied 165 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: into love but also romance, and they are two very 166 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 1: different things. It's very easy to get wrapped up in 167 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: the romance part, thinking that it's just about the feelings. 168 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 1: And guys pull the hair out trying to do something 169 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 1: that will show their wife that they care or their 170 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: girlfriend that they care, and women you do the same thing. 171 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: You're going crazy trying to show for this one day, 172 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 1: as if all the pressure of the relationship really comes 173 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: down to one day of so called romance. But if 174 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 1: real love was only romance, relationships would never really have 175 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,559 Speaker 1: a chance. They would be cursed to remain superficial at 176 00:13:54,600 --> 00:14:01,079 Speaker 1: the very best, because romance is kind of this lived attraction, 177 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 1: this intensity, this fascination or excitement for for for something 178 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:12,079 Speaker 1: or someone, but it's it tends to always be based 179 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: on this kind of outer shell of of something going 180 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: on or person, or a perception of what you think 181 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: someone is. Oh they seem very adventurous, or oh they 182 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: seem so strong or heroic or very kind, or they 183 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: seem there's something about their beauty that is so different. 184 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 1: It's compelling, But that's not based in reality. You have 185 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: to you have to check and see what these emotions 186 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: are tied to. They can't be just subjective. You have 187 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: to be objective in them. Producer Neil often jokes around 188 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: with me about when he falls in love that the 189 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: feelings he gets are similar to seasick. You know when 190 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: he's being when he's seasick, he might get sweaty hand, 191 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 1: a little clam and a little quiver and stomach. And 192 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 1: when he fell in love with his wife, you know 193 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 1: he had the same feelings. But you don't want to 194 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: combine them and think that they're the exact same thing. 195 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: You have to put them against the backdrop of reality 196 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: to see if it's sea sickness or possibly an illness, 197 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: or it's love. God, love has to be more than 198 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 1: just a feeling. It has to be more than that. 199 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: It's got to be more than just a greeting card 200 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: with really nice things written in it. Your love has 201 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: to be even more than an action. Scripture says that 202 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: love it's a lifetime of actions. You have to be unselfish, 203 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: you have to sacrifice. You read scripture and you see 204 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: people that have just hardened their hearts to things. These 205 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: are the type of people that can't love. They squeeze 206 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: only enough room in their life for themselves and themselves alone. 207 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: They're once the desires only. That's selfishness. There's no place 208 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: for anyone else in that kind of scenario. You need 209 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 1: to ask yourself, do you look for the needs of 210 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: others or are you constantly thinking about yourself and yourself alone. 211 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: Selfishness is one of the most destructive concoctions of the enemy. 212 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: Like a horse with blinders on, selfishness can make you 213 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: oblivious to anything that isn't just right in front of 214 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: you or only about you. When people are looking for mates, unfortunately, 215 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 1: they often only look for their side of things, what 216 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: they're gonna get out of the relationship, what they'll get 217 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: from the other person, and not what they can give 218 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:04,160 Speaker 1: to the other person. It's easy to let fantasies run 219 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: wild with thoughts of your partner who will follow you everywhere, 220 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: doing everything you want to do, listening to everything you say, 221 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: enjoying everything you enjoy. You know how often I hear 222 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: people get excited about the possibility of getting into relationship 223 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: say oh, I can't wait for them to go and 224 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: do this or go and do that, assuming that they're 225 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 1: going to only want to do what you want to do. 226 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,639 Speaker 1: It's like saying I can't wait till my child is 227 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: old enough to be able to grab the remote for 228 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: me and I can't find it or it's too far 229 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: for me to get up and grab it. How silly 230 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,160 Speaker 1: that is to think that that's what a person whittles 231 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: down to as being somebody who's there only to take 232 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: pictures of you, rather than to be in it with you. 233 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: A true relationship isn't looking for a passenger in your life, 234 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: a partner in the adventure. Now, men, you're you're not 235 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: always good with this. You oftentimes make the woman the adventure, 236 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: but the woman is not the adventure. The woman is 237 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: a fellow adventurer wanting to be alongside you, to be 238 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: a part of the adventure, not something that you're meant 239 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: to conquer. And everything tells you, oh, well, this is 240 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 1: what you're shooting for. Know, what you're looking for is 241 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: not climbing a mountain. You're looking for a partner to 242 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 1: help me, as scripture says, somebody who will be with 243 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,200 Speaker 1: you and you with them. Don't get lost in those 244 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 1: fantasies about how life is going to be so great 245 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 1: now that somebody's there to watch you do everything. That's 246 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: not a partnership at all. Not looking for that passenger, 247 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: but the partner. Now, I don't want you to be 248 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 1: a welcome matt either to be walked on by others. 249 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 1: When I say that I want you to be a 250 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 1: giver and want you to be selfless and sacrificing to 251 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: those who you love and to your partner, what I'm 252 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: saying is that I want you to give one hundred 253 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 1: percent of yourself. I hope you wouldn't give a hundred 254 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: percent of yourself to somebody who's not worthy of it. 255 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,639 Speaker 1: That's a mixed mismatch in a totally different direction. I 256 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: don't want you to constantly be giving yourself to someone 257 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: who one doesn't appreciate you and two is taking advantage 258 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:38,040 Speaker 1: of it. That's not godly, That doesn't promote health and 259 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 1: a good honest relationship. That doesn't promote love. So don't 260 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: take my words wrong thinking that I want you to 261 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:51,360 Speaker 1: be this doormat that somebody abuses. What I want from 262 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: you is to find someone that you feel totally comfortable with. 263 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: I hear people criticize the church all the time when 264 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,640 Speaker 1: it comes to giving money. Oh, well, the church asks 265 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: for money this or I don't feel comfortable giving my 266 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 1: church money or that much money when they request it. 267 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: And I've always thought it strange that you would trust 268 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: a church with your spiritual health, but you wouldn't trust 269 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 1: them with your finances or your wallet. So if you 270 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: can't trust a church to use money that you give 271 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 1: them wisely, then get out. Why would you ever be 272 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 1: a part of that and take the spirituality? And in 273 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: a relationship, it's the same way. If you can't trust 274 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 1: your partner to be someone who will enjoy and respect 275 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 1: all that you give them rather than abuse it or 276 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,640 Speaker 1: take advantage of it. If you can't find a partner 277 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,440 Speaker 1: like that that respects it and appreciates it, then why 278 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 1: would you want to be with them at all? If 279 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 1: you're thinking for one moment, well, if I did that, 280 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: they're only going to take advantage or then I don't 281 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: know if they're gonna come back and do things for me, 282 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: then I'm going to be left out. Then oh, you're 283 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: thinking about it all wrong and this is the wrong 284 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 1: person for you. You should be freely giving, knowing that you 285 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: will receive. By the very nature of a healthy relationship, 286 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: it's about seeking to take care of someone else's needs, 287 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: trusting they will take care of yours. That is partnership. 288 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: A great match is finding someone who will be selflessly 289 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 1: looking out only for you, as you too are selflessly 290 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: looking out only for them. You've got their back and 291 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 1: they've got yours. Even with all these things being said, 292 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: and even if you are dedicated, even if you are 293 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: hard working, it can be a struggle to be in 294 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: a good relationship, even a healthy one, and to really 295 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:57,480 Speaker 1: apply love in your life. But remind yourself each day 296 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 1: that it is about your partner, that it's about them, 297 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 1: and giving your life to them and dedicating yourself to 298 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 1: them in a loving and healthy and godly way, and 299 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: your love will grow. If you don't do these things. 300 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: If you reject giving yourself in that way, if you 301 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: reject giving all who you are, then it will never 302 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: come back and return either. There will never be a 303 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: true bond and a healthy experience that's focused on love, 304 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: not romance, not some greeting card, but true, deep and 305 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: honest love. So it could be said that all love 306 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 1: has romance, but not all romance has love. And Valentine's 307 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: Day obviously brings these things up, as people get excited 308 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: to show their love to one another and get wrapped 309 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,880 Speaker 1: up in romance. But romance often is just superficial. It's 310 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 1: just on the surface there, and people forget that love 311 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: is about sacrifice. If you had to whittle it down 312 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:06,440 Speaker 1: to one word, it absolutely sacrifice. John fifteen thirteen says 313 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,480 Speaker 1: greater love has no one than this, that one laid 314 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: down his life for his friends. Now that verse definitely 315 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: is looking at the ultimate giving of something, the ultimate sacrifice. 316 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:22,159 Speaker 1: But in addition to that, God calls you to be 317 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 1: a living sacrifice. So daily finding ways to do things 318 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 1: for your loved one, daily find ways to giving, of 319 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:32,720 Speaker 1: giving yourself to your partner, and they giving themselves to you. 320 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: Paul says in Romans thirteen ten, love does no harm 321 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law. 322 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 1: This means that there are rules to abide by in love, 323 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 1: not just romance. You mustn't think of love as just 324 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: that emotional romantic response you feel towards someone. How sad 325 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:02,639 Speaker 1: when the incredible apth of true love is somehow reduced 326 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: whittled down to the shallow feeling of sweaty palms, or 327 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: your your heart feeling as if it's skipped a beat. 328 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: I know much of that can be wonderful to feel, 329 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 1: but only when it's birthed from real love. Love comes 330 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,399 Speaker 1: from fulfilling the rules and laws in a relationship. It's 331 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: about connecting in a practical way, finding things to do 332 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: for each other. You'll get absolutely lost if you're looking 333 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 1: for these liver quivers or warm, fuzzy feelings. You get 334 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: back to taking care of the practical needs of a 335 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 1: healthy relationship. The emotions absolutely follow. Scripture is God's love 336 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: letter to mankind, the most amazing Valentine card ever written, 337 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: and its pages it has the description of the ultimate 338 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: act of love, the ultimate act of sacrifice, and also 339 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:03,439 Speaker 1: God's bluep prince for true love and true romance. And 340 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: although if you've ever been to a Christian wedding, you've 341 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,160 Speaker 1: probably hear these words over and over in your head 342 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: because you've heard them so much, but please hear them 343 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: today with a fresh pair of ears, and take them 344 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 1: to heart in a new way. First Corinthians thirteen four 345 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: through seven, and I'll add verse thirteen as well to that. 346 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 1: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, 347 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,440 Speaker 1: It does not boast. It is not proud. It does 348 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 1: not dishonor others. It is not self seeking, It is 349 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love 350 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. 351 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: It always protects always, trusts, always, hopes, always preserves Verse thirteen. 352 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 1: And now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But 353 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 1: the greatest of these is love. So I ask you this, 354 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,959 Speaker 1: What is your love made of surface romance or real 355 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 1: romance rooted in unselfish sacrifice. Is it all about what 356 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: you want to get from someone else? Or is it 357 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,239 Speaker 1: all about what you want to give? Kfi Am six 358 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: forty on demand