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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode.

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Speaker 2: Of I Tell You what is the best thing for

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Speaker 2: home defense? If you can't own a gun, or if

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Speaker 2: you don't own a gun. How about let's say if

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Speaker 2: we don't own a gun, So, yes, what is the

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Speaker 2: best thing for home defense if you don't own a gun?

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Speaker 1: For example, talk back on the iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 2: Let, somebody online pointed out that a gun is not

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Speaker 2: necessarily great for home defense because a burglar will hear

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Speaker 2: a gun cocking and they think, you know, gun, they

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Speaker 2: might reach for their own gun. But if they hear

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Speaker 2: the unmistakable sound of a chainsaw wrapping up, they're gonna

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Speaker 2: think there's a psycho.

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Speaker 1: Here unless they have a gun.

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Speaker 3: But if you hear, even if you have a gun,

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Speaker 3: if you hear.

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Speaker 1: If you have a gun, chainsaws number of feet away,

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Speaker 1: you'd think.

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Speaker 3: Unless it's like a throwing chainsaw, Oh.

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Speaker 1: My gosh, you with you like a throwing star, you

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Speaker 1: just are gonna find a way to win the argument.

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Speaker 3: I love that I have. I have a mini chainsaw.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's little, It's like this, I okay, is

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Speaker 3: it battery operated? Yes?

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Speaker 1: All those things don't see people juggling. You think a chainsaw?

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Speaker 2: I don't care if it's a foot and a half

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Speaker 2: long and battery operated, it's still gonna hurt when I.

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Speaker 1: Gets They can get stuck if you if it gets

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Speaker 1: on your shirt, that's no. You want the real gas

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Speaker 1: powered one.

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Speaker 3: Get stuck on a shirt. It's gonna get stuck on

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Speaker 3: your collar.

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Speaker 1: Milwaukee tools is what you want. They make. They make

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Speaker 1: They're about sixteen feet long. So what would you use

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Speaker 1: in your house? Now? Can I can I contribute? If

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Speaker 1: you're really down to nothing? Right? And now, typically I

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Speaker 1: would just use my hands, okay, because it's got to

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Speaker 1: my weaponry, but I know I gotta find something more fun. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so a can of wasp spray that thirty foot shot. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that thing is like I mean you if you you

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Speaker 1: get good at that, and I'm pretty good with it,

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Speaker 1: I really am. I can hit a wasp nest. I

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Speaker 1: mean I can hit the back, I can hit the

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Speaker 1: license plate on a wasps butt perfect with that thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So just give me the see the eyeballs across the rust. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're done.

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Speaker 2: Can you imagine getting shot in the face with wasp spray?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 1: That would do more of like a scare tactic.

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Speaker 5: I would have all like my lights and stuff sinc

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Speaker 5: to Google Home. So when I yell intruder, all the

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Speaker 5: lights turn red and it plays welcome to the Jungle.

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Speaker 1: Going on. No, I would have it play mini.

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Speaker 3: And then you wrap the chainsaw.

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Speaker 2: It turns into just this weird, wacky horror house.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh. Then you say welcome to the jungle, bitch.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Somebody also said a baseball bat painted black, they'll never

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Speaker 2: see it coming. You also put a black sock over

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Speaker 2: the barrel. That way, when they try to grab it,

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Speaker 2: all they get is sock, and then it's round two.

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Speaker 1: That's a good idea. I like that. Yeah, boy, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't take long for people to fire up. Talk here.

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Speaker 1: What the topic?

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Speaker 4: Like? This?

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Speaker 1: Does it?

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Speaker 6: Two German shepherds and a wicked ridge crass bow baby,

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Speaker 6: bring it on?

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Speaker 3: I love it? Had a girl. I love that. Oh

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Speaker 3: my gosh, that's awesome.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what else is calling in here.

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Speaker 3: You guys need a dog.

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Speaker 5: We got one that barks all the time, especially when

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Speaker 5: you hear's somebody outside our house close us in.

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Speaker 6: Get a dog.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The problem is those the the perpetrator comes up and

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Speaker 1: pops a couple of snacks, and the dogs like, oh, Hey, dude.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't think that our dogs.

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Speaker 1: Our dog wouldn't do yeah, our dog flip.

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Speaker 3: Our dogs would not fall for that.

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Speaker 2: Have you seen the trends online where people will video

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Speaker 2: and they'll say, like testing to see what my dog.

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Speaker 3: Would do if an intruder broken?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then you'll have a couple and one of them

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Speaker 2: will just be chilling with the dog, and then the

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Speaker 2: other one will come in but like dressed in all

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Speaker 2: black or something looks like an intruder, and then they'll

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Speaker 2: act like they're attacking the other person just to see

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Speaker 2: how the dog react. Those videos are pretty funny. Sometimes

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Speaker 2: the dog just runs away and you're like, wow, this.

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Speaker 1: Is fire Up the iHeartRadio app have Cable two on

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Speaker 1: it us talk back what you would use in lieu

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Speaker 1: of a weapon or a real weapon, something of design

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Speaker 1: like a knife or a gun. Somebody comes into your house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, good morning, Chris Carr Company. I'm listening to.

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Speaker 3: Your show this morning.

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Speaker 4: About home defense and if you don't have a gun,

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Speaker 4: in all seriousness, I have a baseball bat that is

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Speaker 4: be dazzled with a bunch of jewels. So if you

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Speaker 4: break into my house, you're going to get beat up

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Speaker 4: by a bedazzled baseball bat.

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Speaker 1: We had one of those, not with jewels, but at

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Speaker 1: one of our radio stations.

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Speaker 3: I like to dazzle my baseball bats with nails.

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Speaker 1: That's what we had, a baseballtal. We had a two

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Speaker 1: by four and I think we call it the BFS.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome, the big freaking stick. And that thing was

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Speaker 1: ready because we had we had some neighbors that were

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Speaker 1: a little uh dis rum from time to time.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 1: What else here?

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Speaker 6: Morey all? This here is really Bobby Say a home

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Speaker 6: defense tool and Betty Bobby went out and bought a goat.

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Speaker 6: He's a mean old gus leroy we call him. He

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Speaker 6: won't let anybody in the house, that's for sure. Head

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Speaker 6: buttons kicking, yep, lee right agout.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I like the idea, but I feel that I

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Speaker 1: would I would be the victim of that goat just

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Speaker 1: bending over to take out. Yeah, yeah something.

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Speaker 2: The goats don't care. I mean I have goats. They

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Speaker 2: don't care if it is who it is. Yeah, if

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Speaker 2: their head butters, they're gonna head but you. If they

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Speaker 2: do not discriminate, Hey.

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Speaker 1: Guys, you gotta go find mcaulay Colkin. He had it all.

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Speaker 6: Figured out and home alone.

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Speaker 1: Remember all them damn Franchie pold on them Bobby guys.

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Speaker 3: Well there you go, there we go.

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Speaker 1: He's available.

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Speaker 2: I like to do a good old medieval hot pot

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Speaker 2: of oil over a door, just boil the oil and

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Speaker 2: then booby trap it and just have a dump on

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Speaker 2: top of them.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean, like, who has that just sitting

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Speaker 1: there boiling all day? Ready for Just keep it ready

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Speaker 1: for to come? Yeah, you just keep it ready. My

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Speaker 1: dad is so funny.

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Speaker 2: So nowadays my family, like it is very into shooting,

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Speaker 2: very into guns, trapshooting, all of this hunting. But when

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Speaker 2: I was younger, we just didn't really have guns in

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Speaker 2: the house when I was little, and so instead for

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Speaker 2: home defense, my dad would have a collection of random

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Speaker 2: items under his bed to be used as weapons. And

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Speaker 2: it was very strange. I don't understand what his logic was.

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Speaker 2: But he had a set of nunchucks, a set of

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Speaker 2: bamboo like ninja sticks.

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Speaker 3: He had a spear.

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Speaker 1: You got to know how to use those things, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 2: And he had a spear like a actual tall it

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Speaker 2: was like a seven foot spear.

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Speaker 1: My father does he still have it?

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Speaker 3: Probably they're probably stam a.

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Speaker 5: Spear, but his was like his pocket knife ducked to

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Speaker 5: like a broom handle, and he'd be like, I'm just

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Speaker 5: if somebody comes in, I'm getting okay.

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Speaker 2: So between the bamboo stakes, the nun chucks, the spear,

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Speaker 2: now he also just has guns.

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Speaker 1: Next nunchucks will hit her right in the face. If

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Speaker 1: you don't know what you're doing, you'll knock yourself out.

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Speaker 1: You gotta really know what you're doing. I can't see

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Speaker 1: your day, but.

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Speaker 3: You know, maybe you know I'm with you. I'm with you.

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Speaker 3: But that was what his logic.

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Speaker 7: I say, one of the best self defense weapons, it's

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Speaker 7: got to be the whip, like Indiana Jones roll up

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Speaker 7: so it's easy for you. You sneak around the house

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Speaker 7: and then say you're all good, but then closing distance

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Speaker 7: and then you just.

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Speaker 3: Full slip the crap on them. Just I love that.

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Speaker 7: And then you hit them with the barrage of times

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Speaker 7: and they got nowhere to go and they're forced to

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Speaker 7: run because I hurt.

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Speaker 1: It's like heck, yeah, oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's even better if you have time to slip on

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Speaker 2: like a leather suit and then you do it and

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Speaker 2: you're like you like that again, and then you act like.

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Speaker 1: Salmon Hawthorne Thursday Night, that's tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: Then you're messing with the fish and psychologically.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then then you might find one person that's like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, I keep going. Then you gotta come back here, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm not place is awesome. I like this. I text

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Speaker 1: my friends.

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Speaker 3: I will say that one could I'm not pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Be able to whip, or leather pants. Thanks for listening

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Speaker 1: to this episode of Tell You what LL. You'll always

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Speaker 1: find more on the iHeartRadio, wipp and anywhere you get

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Speaker 1: your podcast. Please rate, review, subscribe, Donald Chair, and like

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Speaker 1: don't whip me