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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: So what I love about this podcast is I don't

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Speaker 2: plan anything. Sometimes I might talk for a little while.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's the after show. The show ends. I

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Speaker 2: come in after the show and I talk about the

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Speaker 2: show or talk about whatever. Are Sometimes I just wander

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Speaker 2: the hauls and hope that I stumble upon somebody. And

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Speaker 2: today was one of those days.

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Speaker 3: My God, and that hurt you.

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Speaker 1: I can't escape it is you, Ashley Feldman. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for joining No.

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Speaker 3: But actually thank you. I this is fitting because I

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Speaker 3: did use you for content today.

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Speaker 1: You always use me.

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Speaker 3: Well, I realized, well that's tough. You're my friend. But

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Speaker 3: we went over the gifts that you plan on giving

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Speaker 3: your wife for Christmas and just how disgusted I am.

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Speaker 3: It's just crazy. You're you're really pushing it this year.

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Speaker 1: Okay are you discussed at both?

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Speaker 3: Both of them kind of make me sick. Also, I'm

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Speaker 3: a tough crowd and I understand that. And there's probably

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Speaker 3: a woman listening to this podcast that's like, Ashley, slap yourself.

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Speaker 3: That's the best gift ever. But I'll run through the

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Speaker 3: gifts and then we'll chit chat first.

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Speaker 2: Get wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, we can

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Speaker 2: talk about this because my wife doesn't listen to this podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she actually listens to your show. She has taste, so

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Speaker 2: it's really embarrassing to me. But yeah, okay, so go ahead.

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Speaker 3: I explained to one gift Number one, you guys, was

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Speaker 3: this book. So picture a book where it's like thirty

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Speaker 3: pages and on each page it says I page one,

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Speaker 3: I love you because and then in his goddily knows

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Speaker 3: what handwriting he writes and what he loves her. Page two,

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to do this with you, and he

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Speaker 3: writes page three. When I wake up in the morning,

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Speaker 3: I think about and he writes you.

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Speaker 1: It's like a yea twenty read.

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Speaker 3: Where do you want her to put that? That was?

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Speaker 3: This is my thing? So obviously you want her to

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Speaker 3: like read this daily or something. I don't know. So

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Speaker 3: we're she gonna put it on her nightstand next to

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Speaker 3: where like her water bottle, her phone. There's no room

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Speaker 3: for that. It's going to collect dust. Stupid gift. Nobody

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Speaker 3: wants it. Hold on, write it in a car.

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Speaker 2: It's called twenty Reasons I Love You, And yes, every

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Speaker 2: page is blank, but it has a title, you know,

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Speaker 2: Like you said, I can't wait for the future for

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Speaker 2: us because Colin and then it's blank and I can

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Speaker 2: write my answer.

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Speaker 3: She's gonna look at that and she's gonna say it

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Speaker 3: on Christmas, She's gonna lie. This is so sweet. Dephan

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Speaker 3: will collect dust. It's gonna be a dust collector. What

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Speaker 3: do you think in like two years, she's gonna be like,

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Speaker 3: let me see what he wanted to do in the future.

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Speaker 1: I agree with you on that, but it's good for

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Speaker 1: the moment and the moment she'll open up.

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Speaker 3: I ran a card and get her an actual gift, which,

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Speaker 3: by the way, brings us to gift number two. The

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Speaker 3: actual gift. This is a gift that he believes his

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Speaker 3: wife will like. And this is a two part because

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Speaker 3: there's an elephant in the room in this when the gift,

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Speaker 3: you guys, is called sip like I am sipping a

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Speaker 3: drink or sin show of course I did, and I

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Speaker 3: actually went on the website, which was horrifying. But anyways, guys,

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Speaker 3: so think about you know, what's that game cards for

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Speaker 3: Humanity or whatever, so essentially against humanity. So basically you

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Speaker 3: sip or sin. Now most of us drink, so it's like,

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Speaker 3: do you want to take another shot or do you

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Speaker 3: want to sin? Most people, you know, I want to sin.

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Speaker 3: I've had six shots. They don't drink, so I don't

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Speaker 3: know if he's gonna get out a gallon of milk

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Speaker 3: or water, whatever it is, and they're gonna play this game.

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Speaker 3: And I actually, you know, did a little deep dive

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Speaker 3: on what these sinning cards say. Couldn't even say it

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Speaker 3: on jam and on jam and we say whatever the

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Speaker 3: fuck we want. I couldn't even was so Santi said, listen,

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Speaker 3: you gotta give us something. You gotta like describe one

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Speaker 3: of the sins. One of the sins was I will

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Speaker 3: say this, it would be the man laying down and

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Speaker 3: the woman sitting somewhere specific, right, okay, that was one

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Speaker 3: of my faves. Like specific. One of them was do

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Speaker 3: a number for do something for sixty nine seconds? Take

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Speaker 3: that not you like crazy? And he, by the way,

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Speaker 3: thinks this is a gift for her ass backwards but backwards, no,

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Speaker 3: it's not. She doesn't want to want that.

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Speaker 2: It's a good stocking stuff for that. It's a stocking stuffer,

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Speaker 2: a sucking at.

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Speaker 3: It's a stuffer's y. Yeah, so there you have it,

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Speaker 3: poor woman. I actually also said, you know, most guys,

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Speaker 3: they wait throughout the year and they listen for the

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Speaker 3: wife to like drop little hints. And I said, I

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Speaker 3: know for a fact I'm not a betting woman, but

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Speaker 3: if I was, never did Jen just walk down a

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Speaker 3: hall and say, you know what I really want? The

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Speaker 3: game sip or sin? You've never heard that now.

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Speaker 2: But but but there were a couple of things that

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Speaker 2: she mentioned during the year that I wrote down and

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Speaker 2: that I did get her. Okay, okay, see yourself. One

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Speaker 2: was a maybe you know what this is a starlight calendar?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what this is?

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Speaker 3: Ten out of ten? I don't have it, but I

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Speaker 3: have seen it, and I'm like, if you have kids

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Speaker 3: and you're constantly trying to look schedules and the husbands

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Speaker 3: never fucking remember perfect, Yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 1: I got her that see in my head, okay, which

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Speaker 1: is a sick place.

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Speaker 4: All right, No, guys, you don't even know I got

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Speaker 4: both of those gifts that you just described because I

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Speaker 4: was picturing I give her the gift of the book,

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Speaker 4: which is all the reasons I love her, and she's

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Speaker 4: going to open it and read it and be like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, fall in love all over again.

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Speaker 1: I love this man. And then she'll open in the

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Speaker 1: cards and be.

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Speaker 3: So to start sinning.

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Speaker 1: Just want to sin away with me.

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Speaker 3: About help?

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Speaker 1: I guess it is just now.

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Speaker 2: I hope she wasn't listening. I don't think she was,

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Speaker 2: because she's actually busy this morning. Yeah, she wasn't listening

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Speaker 2: to your show.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, you better hope not, because I went right

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Speaker 3: on in with those Yeah, right on in. Also that game,

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Speaker 3: just if you're wondering while you're listening. Not cheap like

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Speaker 3: the cheapest one I saw it was like sixty bucks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, money has It's fine. I just spend the money. Oh,

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Speaker 2: I don't think about it.

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Speaker 3: I can't take to heaven. I actually heard someone say

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Speaker 3: that right day. Yeah it's in my head, which isn't

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Speaker 3: good because I'm a spender. You're a spender. We are spending,

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Speaker 3: Yeah we are. You got to get that out of our.

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Speaker 1: Head, Yeah we are. Would you ask for from your husband?

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Speaker 3: I asked for actually a camera, like a real sony,

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Speaker 3: like actual physical camera, one of the really good ones.

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Speaker 1: Your iPhone?

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Speaker 3: No no camera, no, no no no. You know the

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Speaker 3: difference when you see somebody on ig and they take

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Speaker 3: like photos with a camera like a photographer camera as

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Speaker 3: opposed to the iPhone, there's a difference, Crispier.

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Speaker 1: Did you ask Santy his opinion on that? Because he's

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Speaker 1: a camera guy.

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Speaker 3: He is the one who gave me this camera to

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Speaker 3: have the you know, my husband get me, So I'm

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Speaker 3: pretty pumped uff about that. I also there was a

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Speaker 3: delivery the other day that he had to sign for

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Speaker 3: and I know it wasn't the camera because the box

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Speaker 3: was smaller. So I'm thinking little jewelries coming my way.

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Speaker 3: But what I'm really hoping for, like really really hoping for,

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Speaker 3: is a twenty page journal where he writes dumb shit

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Speaker 3: in it that I don't give a fuck about. Ran

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Speaker 3: for that set no life on the planet.

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Speaker 2: If he does get you the sip or sin, which,

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Speaker 2: by the way, I might hit him up and give

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Speaker 2: him the hot Yeah, you can use the camera if

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Speaker 2: you get it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you the film.

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Speaker 3: Yeah for the number for the sixty nine seguess can't wait.

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Speaker 3: That'd be great.

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Speaker 1: God, what is it like to be married to you?

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Speaker 3: It's a lot. It's really oh, it really is. It's

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Speaker 3: a lot, and it's not Listen, it's not for everybody.

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Speaker 1: So your two daughters, Leila and dates you said five minutes. Okay, Oh,

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Speaker 1: you gotta go.

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Speaker 3: I'm just kidding. I know I don't have to go.

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Speaker 1: You don't rush the podcast. It goes where it goes. Okay, okay, okay.

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Speaker 2: Which one of your daughters do you think has more

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Speaker 2: of your personality?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Definitely the older one. I mean, she's psychotic, like

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Speaker 3: I fear for him, and I have said that. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I thought it would be maybe just a write down

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Speaker 3: the middle type of situation. And everyone would always say

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Speaker 3: to me when I was pregnant with Daisy, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: the second one's crazy. The second one's crazy, not in

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Speaker 3: my house, not in your house, the first one like

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Speaker 3: looney Tunes. Yeah, she says just like crazy things to me.

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Speaker 3: Her birthday is on Saturday, and last night, out of nowhere,

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Speaker 3: she's like, I'm really excited for my birthday part She

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Speaker 3: asked me every morning like if it's the day of

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Speaker 3: her birthday party and she don't get time, and so

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Speaker 3: last night, out of nowhere, she goes, I'm going to

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Speaker 3: get a lot of presents for my birthday party on Saturday.

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Speaker 3: I said, you are, that's really exciting and she said, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I will not share them with Daisy though she gets enough.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, Hell, I did a three year old hear

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Speaker 3: that she gets enough? This is an issue in my house,

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Speaker 3: and I'm sure for a lot of people with two

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Speaker 3: daughters for sure, where they're getting the same type of gifts. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we don't share.

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Speaker 1: Well, well, doesn't Daisy get Layla's hand me downs?

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Speaker 3: Pretty much every like outfit jam as I buy her

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Speaker 3: new stuff because again we like to spend. But I

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Speaker 3: mean some of the things she says. I mean, she's

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Speaker 3: asked my mother why her stomach looks like Santa's Like

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Speaker 3: we're gonna oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well kids are like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah well yeah, and that comments that people are still

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Speaker 3: watching that video saying that I should have my children

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Speaker 3: take it away. It's crazy. I do, It's it's crazy,

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Speaker 3: but I mean it's so fun. You just never know,

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Speaker 3: remember that show back in the day, like kids, Kids

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Speaker 3: say the Darkness Kids or whatever. It's like, that's a

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Speaker 3: real She is constantly saying things that my husband I

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Speaker 3: have to like look away because we can't laugh, so

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Speaker 3: she sees us laugh. I don't want her to know.

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Speaker 3: It's funny, but it's just out of pocket.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, kids are kids are great. Remember you had no

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Speaker 1: kids and now I have too. I know it's amazing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you you, when you had kids, you would

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Speaker 3: tell me like, you don't understand how much it's going

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Speaker 3: to change, Like it's gonna change, And it's true, but

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Speaker 3: in the best way. I can't remember my life pre kids,

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Speaker 3: Like I don't know what the fuck I was doing?

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Speaker 1: Remember doing what you wanted to do?

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Speaker 3: No, I don't. I genuinely. We had a moment the

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Speaker 3: other day and we were like, what did we used

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Speaker 3: to do, like on the weekends with all this time,

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Speaker 3: And I came to the conclusion that we would binge

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Speaker 3: watch shows because like, I don't know what else.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way, how's the show watching going?

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Speaker 3: What show exactly? Do you know how many fucking times

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Speaker 3: all my friends are like, you haven't watched the Diddy doc?

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Speaker 3: I'm like, when, bitch, I'm playing hide and seek. I

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Speaker 3: had to be a pretend unicorn for six fucking hours.

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Speaker 3: This stasue they were writing me, I don't like when.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I haven't watched it either, because well Jen wants

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Speaker 2: to watch it with me.

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Speaker 3: Okay, oh, and then trying to figure that out with timing.

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Speaker 2: Unbelieve, but I had a good idea this. I actually

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Speaker 2: said this to him. Ready for this, I go. We

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Speaker 2: should watch the Ditty doc last weekend. We didn't get

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Speaker 2: to it, and I can rub baby oil on you.

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Speaker 3: Wow, fitting fitting. That's like the most sick shit. Do

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Speaker 3: you see what I'm saying you guys when I say

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Speaker 3: that he has a dark creek mind? There it is.

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Speaker 3: It's getting that from six to ten. But this is

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Speaker 3: the truth.

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Speaker 1: It's my wife. Yeah, I lust for my.

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Speaker 3: Wife, which is cool. That is really cool.

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Speaker 1: That's it.

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Speaker 2: So okay, I took up enough for your time. I

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Speaker 2: know where you got to be by the way, you're.

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Speaker 3: On a rush. No, I'm just hanging out to pretend

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Speaker 3: like I do things so our bosses this year.

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Speaker 2: But I can leave, that is the thing, right. It's

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Speaker 2: like we get it so early the ass track of Dawn.

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Speaker 2: We work and do a whole live show and they're like,

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Speaker 2: why are you leaving after the show?

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Speaker 3: But if they come looking for us at the end

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Speaker 3: of the show and we're not there, it's like, how

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Speaker 3: dare you look? The audacity? It's like, buddy, I've been

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Speaker 3: up since three thirty when you were snoozing, Like I don't.

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Speaker 2: Know, right, And then they have meetings right like after

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Speaker 2: after ten and they're like, oh fucking chipper because they

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Speaker 2: slept till nine.

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Speaker 3: Right, wouldn't it be nice? We're losing years of our

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Speaker 3: life doing miss job. Sleep is the utmost and we

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Speaker 3: don't get it. You're up earlier than I am. This

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Speaker 3: guy's up stalk and Instagram at two. People don't know.

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Speaker 2: Oh you don't know. I don't know. You know what

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm online shopping for sip. All right, I have

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Speaker 2: to listen to your podcast now to hear how you

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Speaker 2: talking about it?

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Speaker 3: Well you just heard it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, Well, thank you Ashley, No, thanks for

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Speaker 1: having me. Will you come back.

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Speaker 3: Soon anytime you guys want for sure?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, and Merry Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Merry Christmas, buddy,