Speaker 1: He came up with the name of this four week series.
Speaker 1: We talked a lot about last week New Year's resolutions.
Speaker 1: A lot of us make them, and often times it's
Speaker 1: about our health, especially our physical health, getting in better shape.
Speaker 1: But the series is called the Me I want to be,
Speaker 1: the me I want to be, so Chad to recap
Speaker 1: in case people missed part one, I'm not too busy.
Speaker 1: It's just not a priority. Recap that for us before
Speaker 1: we move on to topic number two, if you would please.
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, thanks showing me again. When you say to yourself,
Speaker 2: I'm too busy, it kind of gives you the illusion
Speaker 2: that you're a victim of your own life. If you
Speaker 2: say I'm not too busy, it's just not a priority.
Speaker 2: It's both convicting. Oh my goodness, I'm not doing this
Speaker 2: because I'm not prioritizing it. On the other hand, it's
Speaker 2: rry freeing. That's right, I'm not doing that right now
Speaker 2: because it's a lesser priority. I reference the idea is
Speaker 2: a guy named Nea Maya who helped rebuild the walls
Speaker 2: in the city in Jerusalem, and when he did that,
Speaker 2: there's a whole bunch of old trying to distract him.
Speaker 2: He sends a message to them and says, hey, guys,
Speaker 2: I'm doing a great work. I don't have time. Don't
Speaker 2: have time to come down and talk to you. In
Speaker 2: other words, you're not a priority. It's okay that there's
Speaker 2: certain distractions in life, certain things in certain seasons of
Speaker 2: life you can't do. But when you say it's not
Speaker 2: that I'm too busy, it's not a priority, it really
Speaker 2: helps crystallize you and keep you from making the excuses
Speaker 2: we all make to ourselves. Okay, the second thing we
Speaker 2: talked about last week is just learning how to just
Speaker 2: love your life the way it is and not wait
Speaker 2: for some arbitrary future deadline to begin trying to enjoy
Speaker 2: what you have around you.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and that could come in just a roof over
Speaker 1: your head. It could come in your spouse, it could
Speaker 1: come in your children, the things are doing well as
Speaker 1: opposed to focusing on what they're not doing well. Today
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about make a to be list
Speaker 1: rather than a to do list.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I think this is something, and I think
Speaker 2: it's the classic question you know, to be or not
Speaker 2: to be is the question I think.
Speaker 3: That really is.
Speaker 2: The question is have you really thought about yourself, Who
Speaker 2: am I becoming? Am I to do list should flow
Speaker 2: out of my to be lists, and I can look
Speaker 2: at good circumstances and bad circumstances and say, are these
Speaker 2: helps shaping me and who I want to be? When
Speaker 2: I was in my twenties, I've been married a couple
Speaker 2: of years and I just had we had my first
Speaker 2: child on the way, and I really was challenged to
Speaker 2: do this. I sat down and began to think about
Speaker 2: who are the people in my life that I want
Speaker 2: to be like? And I don't know who you'd come
Speaker 2: to mind, but like one of mine was my grandfather,
Speaker 2: and I thought about certain character qualities he had and
Speaker 2: I wrote those down, and I thought many things about
Speaker 2: my father that were really aspiring to me. Ways he parented,
Speaker 2: the way he connected, the way he controlled his temper.
Speaker 2: And I just took a page and I began to
Speaker 2: write down all the character qualities I wanted to be
Speaker 2: and I wanted God, I wanted a life I wanted
Speaker 2: to intentionally partner with to become. And so I wrote
Speaker 2: all those pieces down. And so I'd encourage anyone who
Speaker 2: wants to create a tab list find a hero. Of course,
Speaker 2: we're all flawed. I'm plenty flawed. All the people I
Speaker 2: mentioned are flawed. But find those character qualities and all
Speaker 2: the different heroes in your life begin to say, what
Speaker 2: would it look like if I could become that version
Speaker 2: of myself. It's almost like finding a hero or finding
Speaker 2: a model for yourself. I had a buddy of mine
Speaker 2: became one of my heroes in my industry, and he
Speaker 2: said he is in his sixties and the time he
Speaker 2: said Chad his last name Sutter. He said, the world
Speaker 2: has yet to see a Sutter who's actually happy. In
Speaker 2: the seventies. He talked about all his relatives get grumpier
Speaker 2: and grumpier, the chronologically aged, and he really wanted to
Speaker 2: be a person filled with joy and other centeredness. And
Speaker 2: I remember the old commercial about the tombstone pizza. You
Speaker 2: know what do you want on you all tombstone? It's
Speaker 2: more than though on my tombstone. I accomplished these things.
Speaker 2: When you're sitting at your deathbed and people are around
Speaker 2: you who know you, what do you want them to
Speaker 2: see about who you became over your seventy eighty ninety years.
Speaker 2: I became a person of love. I became a person
Speaker 2: of peace. I became a person of real character. I
Speaker 2: was kind. I was And that's what you hear at funerals.
Speaker 2: I do lots of funerals. You get to hear about
Speaker 2: people's character qualities, soar more than you actually hear about
Speaker 2: the things they accomplished and what really lasts that people
Speaker 2: really remember about you.
Speaker 3: So you know, it's interesting you say that.
Speaker 1: Girl, It's really interesting you say that because about funerals,
Speaker 1: and you know you do so many of them. And
Speaker 1: I've been to a couple where you've handled at Horizon
Speaker 1: Church and it really is amazing. I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: sit up there and when your kids get up there,
Speaker 1: or your grandparents or your grandkids get up there, they're
Speaker 1: not talking about the building that somebody named after you.
Speaker 1: Not that there's anything wrong with having a building named
Speaker 1: after you, if you were committed to something, or you
Speaker 1: gave money to something, a university of high school, whatever,
Speaker 1: animal shelter, anything wrong with any of those things.
Speaker 3: But it really is what people want to hear.
Speaker 1: It is finding a hero when you're sitting at a
Speaker 1: funeral of boy. My granddad used to do this, and
Speaker 1: I'm thinking to myself, Gosh, when I'm a granddad, I
Speaker 1: want them saying the same thing about me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And even if you did get a building named
Speaker 2: after it's because you were generous, it's because you were
Speaker 2: other centered. It's because you're trying to impact other people. Later,
Speaker 2: it's still that to do or that accomplishment still trace
Speaker 2: back it to it to be. There's a on the
Speaker 2: stained glass side. There's a verse in the Bible, this
Speaker 2: is the will of God. It was like, what's God's
Speaker 2: will for my life? This is God's will for your life,
Speaker 2: that you would be conformed into the image of his son.
Speaker 2: It's whether you're a Jesus person or not. If you've
Speaker 2: ever read the biography of Jesus, Matthew Mark Luker John,
Speaker 2: the guy is just a stunny example of a life
Speaker 2: best lived. I mean, I think he's got himself, but
Speaker 2: even if you don't, he gets angry at the right times,
Speaker 2: he gets angry at the right people. Well, he is
Speaker 2: so in control under duress, he has peace. So find
Speaker 2: a hero. And it's almost like have you ever been
Speaker 2: on like a carnival cruise line. There's always that day
Speaker 2: that they bring out the ice sculptor and they've got
Speaker 2: this big block of eyes that start chiseling.
Speaker 4: Away at it.
Speaker 2: To be conformed in the image of something is to say, hey,
Speaker 2: life's chiseling away at me right now, or I feel
Speaker 2: like God's chiseling await with me right now. But it's
Speaker 2: not meaningless pain. I'm being chiseled into something. And you're
Speaker 2: watching that ice sculpture and you're like, what in the
Speaker 2: world is going to become? Chop chop chop, chop, chop
Speaker 2: chop chop. After about thirty minutes, you're like, oh, my goodness,
Speaker 2: it's a beautiful swan, it's an angel, it's whatever it is.
Speaker 2: You realize all that pain, all that challenge was purposeful
Speaker 2: in the same way you look at your own life
Speaker 2: and say, God, I'm going through some times I don't
Speaker 2: like right now. There's some hard time to some chiseling times,
Speaker 2: but I want to partner with life, partner with you,
Speaker 2: so that I'll be chiseled into somebody who is other centered.
Speaker 2: And what I did to make mine more memorable for
Speaker 2: me is I took my one in my twenties, I
Speaker 2: did my last name that got two long, so I
Speaker 2: didn't my first name. Take those character qualities and try
Speaker 2: and shorten to something you can remember like my name Chad.
Speaker 2: I kind of took that and said, I want that
Speaker 2: to represent number one connections. The main thing I'm trying
Speaker 2: to be about is connecting to my wife, connecting my kids,
Speaker 2: connecting the people who are important to me as people
Speaker 2: I work with and work for, age humble, humility is
Speaker 2: a huge critical juncture. I just see pride destroys marriages,
Speaker 2: that destroys people's ability to learn and grow. So humility
Speaker 2: was one of my character qualities. A for Chad is authentic.
Speaker 2: I want to be the real mean matter what you
Speaker 2: see me on stage or see me off stage, and
Speaker 2: my kids get to know that. I admit when I
Speaker 2: do stuff wrong because I want to be authentic and
Speaker 2: then indeed dependable. I just see so many people who
Speaker 2: say things that don't follow through. So those were like
Speaker 2: my four character qualities reduced into four words. And then
Speaker 2: I had a longer one for hope, and which includes
Speaker 2: things like initiate for other, centeredness for oh, the needs
Speaker 2: of others, and I begin to write down the needs
Speaker 2: of my spouse specifically, as it just became a really
Speaker 2: helpful way to check in and verify this is what
Speaker 2: I'm trying to accomplish. And this is what I'm hoping
Speaker 2: the life and God's going to do in my life.
Speaker 2: And it really has become a memorable way for me
Speaker 2: to partner with the challenges and then assign my to
Speaker 2: do list from that to be list.
Speaker 1: When you make up this list, a to be list
Speaker 1: rather than a to do list oftentimes. And I was
Speaker 1: reading about this just recently in the last day or two,
Speaker 1: and the quote was from this big, huge hedge fun
Speaker 1: guy who opened all these charter schools in New York City,
Speaker 1: eighty of them I think he opened. And he was asked,
Speaker 1: you know the meaning of life? And he says, to
Speaker 1: sacrifice for the betterment of others. Now, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a beautiful way of looking at life, right, to make
Speaker 1: your personal sacrifices for the betterment of others. But that
Speaker 1: took action on his part, and he talked a lot
Speaker 1: about that and how yeah, it's it's one thing to
Speaker 1: write it down, it's another thing to go do it.
Speaker 1: Give everybody out there, give me something that Okay, here's
Speaker 1: a word, you know, you just used them off the
Speaker 1: letters in your name. Give me an example of something
Speaker 1: where Okay, I'm going to make this to be listed
Speaker 1: and Now, what's something I could go do to put
Speaker 1: that in practice? And I'm talking of maybe outside of okay,
Speaker 1: being nicer or more connected to my wife.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, Well, I'll give you one. Reject passivity. There's
Speaker 2: a tendency in all of us, except for work, maybe
Speaker 2: to reject passivity and the things that really matter and
Speaker 2: to delay it. And so how can I be intentional
Speaker 2: in initiating the things I want to be true? So
Speaker 2: it's like two years went by and I have not
Speaker 2: initiated in accomplishing my goal. I've not initiated in really
Speaker 2: taking seriously that I want to lose weight I want
Speaker 2: to really have I've accepted passivity. When it comes to
Speaker 2: I get home, I completely check my brand at the
Speaker 2: door and don't think that I need to engage with
Speaker 2: the people around me. So that would be one. I
Speaker 2: want to reject passivity. So what's the opposite? I want
Speaker 2: to initiate and then really right down, what does a
Speaker 2: person who initiates in your current.
Speaker 3: Life look like?
Speaker 2: What does it look like? You want to have a
Speaker 2: better connection with your mom and dad, for example, So
Speaker 2: I know of like for years my mom and dad
Speaker 2: and I had a very close relationship, but we just
Speaker 2: weren't in a family that says I love you very often.
Speaker 2: My grandpa never said it. So I decided in my thirties.
Speaker 3: I'm going to stop that.
Speaker 2: I know I love my mom and dad. I know
Speaker 2: they love me, we just don't say it. It's kind
Speaker 2: of weird, really, So I just decided. And it was
Speaker 2: strangely awkward at first. Sure, it was thirty years ago
Speaker 2: where I decided I'm going to end the phone call
Speaker 2: by saying, Mom, I love you. And it was so
Speaker 2: weird that that so was even at the time, was
Speaker 2: awkward because it changed and Mom starts saying it, Dad
Speaker 2: starts saying Now. I always knew it. It wasn't lacking, sure,
Speaker 2: but I had to take the initiative, and I thought,
Speaker 2: that's what I'm going to do. We mentioned my brother.
Speaker 2: In the ten years we didn't talk Western law. Just
Speaker 2: recently I re engaged with it'd be easy to say,
Speaker 2: you know, it's kind of better off. Let by gods
Speaker 2: be bygones. I can't control how they're gonna react, but
Speaker 2: I'm gonna initiate. Another thing I'd say, is that date
Speaker 2: the women in your life. Yeah, when your mom's in town,
Speaker 2: if she's out town, they say, mom, while we go
Speaker 2: out to dinner to go she and I. Your mom
Speaker 2: will probably be amazed by that if you got a daughter.
Speaker 2: I started dating my daughter when she was two, maybe
Speaker 2: even one. You know, we're gonna go on our little
Speaker 2: Chick fil A data where you go get chicken minis
Speaker 2: and Sunday morning, or we go get an ice cream
Speaker 2: calling evening. But the women in your life initiates, and
Speaker 2: we all do that when we're first dating. You know
Speaker 2: we're gonna woo them all and then we kind of
Speaker 2: get into passivity. What does it look like to date
Speaker 2: your daughter, date your wife, date your mom? What does
Speaker 2: it look like to really be intentional? So that'd be one.
Speaker 2: Another one for me is fun. I know it's not
Speaker 2: as high for other people, but I have lots of
Speaker 2: fun all the time, and I initiate fun. When's the
Speaker 2: next trip we're gonna take, when's the next family night
Speaker 2: we're gonna go out on? What's the next movie night?
Speaker 2: So for me, I wanted to be someone who initiated
Speaker 2: environments where friends laugh together, where a family can talk.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we're initiating at a family gathering. We don't want
Speaker 2: to just say hey, it's your birthday, we might go
Speaker 2: around the room and have everyone say something about the
Speaker 2: person's birthday we care about. It's just ways of being
Speaker 2: intentional and turning. Like I talked last week about Kronos,
Speaker 2: your regular time at the Krinos, this was an opportunity
Speaker 2: to really say something and do something and bless somebody.
Speaker 2: So there's a couple examples.
Speaker 1: That's great stuff. A tease for next week. Make a
Speaker 1: hierarchy of needs.
Speaker 2: Yes, hierarchy of needs is understanding that there's always going
Speaker 2: to be a way in which ten things want your attention.
Speaker 2: So what are the things going to prioritize over the
Speaker 2: other ones? And what's the most important thing I'm going
Speaker 2: to do versus what's the most urgent thing I'm going
Speaker 2: to do? And how do I make sure the tyranny
Speaker 2: of the urgent doesn't step on top of the character
Speaker 2: qualities and the priorities that I want to shape me?
Speaker 2: And really, even in the job, this is the most important,
Speaker 2: even though these are the ten phone calls that just
Speaker 2: came in. How do I prioritize not the tyranny of
Speaker 2: the urgent, but the hierarchy that's really true?
Speaker 1: Love it the me I want to be with Pastor
Speaker 1: Chad Hogan. Thank you for your time, sir, love this
Speaker 1: stuff and everybody's looking forward to the next couple of
Speaker 1: weeks as we continue this series.
Speaker 3: So hope you have a great rest of your day.
Speaker 2: You too appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Alrighty let's check the traffic. It's been absolute. I don't
Speaker 1: know if chaos. Would you use that word, chuck chaos?
Speaker 4: I think we're just shy of it. Okay, okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: unfortunately yep. From the UC Health Tramphing Center. The UC
Speaker 4: Health Women's Sports Medicine Program provides specialized care for female
Speaker 4: athletes at all levels. Schedule and appointment online at UCHealth
Speaker 4: dot com. Northbound seventy five earlier accidents are clear, still
Speaker 4: running close to an extra twenty five minutes between turf
Speaker 4: Way and Town southbound seventy five. They cleared the accident
Speaker 4: below Monroe above one twenty nine. Traffic's still heavy through Lachland.
Speaker 4: Still working with an accident on the eastbound two seventy
Speaker 4: five that's near forty two in Shearonville. And there's a
Speaker 4: wreck on Montana above Westwood. More than southbound traffic blocked
Speaker 4: off at Anaconda. Chuck Ingram News Radio seven hundred WLW WCPO.
Speaker 1: Nine first Warning forecasts not too bad out there right now.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's raining where you are, a light rain and
Speaker 1: the temperature is not bad. We're still on the plus
Speaker 1: side of forty, but that will change as a cold
Speaker 1: front and cold air settles in as a day goes on.
Speaker 1: By the time you drive home from work, going to
Speaker 1: be around thirty two degrees tonight, extremely cold. For the
Speaker 1: next number of days. We will be in the teens
Speaker 1: tonight in the wind chill is a high Tomorrow in
Speaker 1: the teens and then in the single digits wind chill
Speaker 1: tomorrow night, Friday and Saturday. We might get some snow,
Speaker 1: Jennifer saying probably not an inch or right at an inch.
Speaker 3: The two days combined are high.
Speaker 1: On Friday will be twenty seven, but again with the
Speaker 1: wind chill, is going to feel a lot colder than that,
Speaker 1: and then on Saturday a little warmer. It'll be thirty five,
Speaker 1: but will feel like it's in the twenties. So bundle up,
Speaker 1: take care of your animals and look if you need
Speaker 1: to get one, they could use a second chance. Get
Speaker 1: to your local animal shelter, bring home a dog or
Speaker 1: a cat, you'll be healthier, you'll be happier, you'll have
Speaker 1: more love in your house. Saloni around the corner. This
Speaker 1: is the Nation. Station seven hundred WLW, Cincinnati,