1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: It's KFI AM six forty and you're listening to the 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. It's the 3 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: best of Conway Show, perfect for Thanksgiving because nothing says 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: family time like hiding in your room and listening to kfive. 5 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: So here's the story. My dad back in the nineteen 6 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,159 Speaker 1: they have been late sixties, early seventies. I think I 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: was seven or eight years old, so it could have 8 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: been sixty nine seventies somewhere in there. And he was 9 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 1: asked to do a charity event in Chicago. We were 10 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: in Cleveland at the time, and he was asked to 11 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: do a charity event in Chicago, and they were going 12 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: to fly in to Chicago. He was going to do, 13 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: you know, a half hour, forty five minutes of jokes, 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: the people can ask him questions about his career, about 15 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: Michael's Navy, the whole run. And so they fly him 16 00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 1: to Chicago from Hopkins Airport in Cleveland. Not a private jet, 17 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: you know, passenger, public transport, public airways. They fly him 18 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: to Chicago, they pick him up, he does his set, 19 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: does the charity and he notices that there's a lot 20 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: of guys who worked for the city. There you know, 21 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: a lot of the city employees there. And back in 22 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,759 Speaker 1: the sixties and early seventies in Chicago, the mob ran 23 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: that town Chicago. I don't know if they still do, 24 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: but they did then. And my dad met a few 25 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: of those guys, but it wasn't filled with those guys. 26 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,839 Speaker 1: There was like one or two table of those guys 27 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: and the rest of them were you know, city employees. 28 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: Probably about two thousand people there. There's a big deal. 29 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: And so they thanked my dad for doing the event. 30 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: And he literally went there at I don't know, he 31 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: left Cleveland at noon and he was home the next 32 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: day by noon. So it's just a one day event. 33 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: And he gets back and we pick him up at 34 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: the air you know. How was the event? Doll was 35 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: grades a lot of people are and it was a 36 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: really cool event. And they and they gave me some 37 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: Tonka toys for you kids, and I said, oh, that's 38 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: very nice. You know, we're young, seven, eight years old, 39 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: nine years old. So we get back to my grandparents' 40 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: house and my dad gives me this box. But it's 41 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: a Tonka truck and you could see through the cell 42 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: offhane at the truck and I opened it up and 43 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: in the bottom of it was fifty thousand dollars in cash. 44 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 1: Stuck in the bottom of that box was fifty thousand 45 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: dollars in cash. And I said to my dad and said, hey, 46 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 1: you know there's money in this box. And he says, well, 47 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: what do you mean money? And I showed him and 48 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: there was fifty thousand dollars in cash, and my dad 49 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: turned white as a ghost. Pretty white guy anyway, but 50 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: even wider. And he got on the phone and he 51 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: called the guys that did the event and he said, hey, 52 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 1: somebody put fifty thousand or maybe he is missing fifty 53 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: thousand dollars and they put it his Tonqua truck case. 54 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: And I don't want someone to come after me because 55 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: they're you know, they switched boxes. You know, it's a 56 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: mob box that should have gone to this guy. And 57 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: I was like, now I have it, and the guy said, no, no, no, 58 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: that's just us saying thank you for doing the event. 59 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: That's all yours. And my dad said, okay, I'd like 60 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: to fly back to Cleveland or to Chicago on my 61 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: own dime and give you this money back. And the 62 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: guy says, well, no, that's your appearance fee. He said, no, no, 63 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: I told you, I'll do the event for free. I'm 64 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: going to fly back. I'll each at the airport and 65 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you this fifty thousand dollars. He 66 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: flew back to Chicago, gave him the fifty grand, and 67 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: then flew back to Cleveland. 68 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 2: Did he check the bag with the fifty grand? 69 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 3: I don't know. 70 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think he. I don't know 71 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: about the details, but they know. He gave the money 72 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: back and he flew back to Cleveland and I said, 73 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: and even at a young age, I said, wow, what 74 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: happened here? Why'd you do that? 75 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 4: Dead? 76 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's fifty that's a lot of money. Look 77 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: in retrospect, I would have never told my dad, you know, 78 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: he'd give me the money. I should have socked it away. 79 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,920 Speaker 2: And where'des twenty grand from your Yeah? 80 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 4: No, that's right. Your kid's new car is extraordinary and 81 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 4: he's only eleven. 82 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: The biggest mistake of my life is telling my dad 83 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: that I had that cash. And he returned the money, 84 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: and I said, what had happened? And like years later 85 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 1: he explained it to me. He said, Look, you were 86 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: too young for me to explain it to you. But 87 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,279 Speaker 1: that's how you become indebted to the mob. You do 88 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: them a favor, they pay you fifty grand. Now you 89 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,279 Speaker 1: got to do them another one. Then they pay you 90 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: one hundred grand. Now you gotta do another one. They 91 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 1: pay and that's all of a sudden, you're in their 92 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: life and you're flying around doing all kinds of events 93 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: for these guys. And he goes, I don't want to 94 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: do that. Yeah, I don't want to be that guy. Ultimately, 95 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,840 Speaker 1: he should have gone that route. 96 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 4: Oh if it sounds to me like I got a 97 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 4: pretty good gig going, and look what happened at Sinatra. 98 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 4: You know, don't look how much money, but Sinatra made 99 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 4: fifty grand, hun grand, one hundred and fifty grand. That's rights, 100 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 4: we're going the right way. I don't have the problem is. 101 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: But I do remember this. I remember very distinctly. My 102 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: dad's doing a video late in life called Dwarfun Fishing, 103 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,919 Speaker 1: and we're out at Lake cats Steak and the sun's 104 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: going down. They can't get the shot, and my dad's 105 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: cold and he's wet, and I said to him, I said, 106 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: should have kept that fifty grand. And you never really 107 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: hear my dad swear, but I heard him few. 108 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 4: You know, that is great, that's a great story. 109 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: And I must say, eve a thousand dollars back in 110 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: nineteen sixty nine, what is that worth now? Three four 111 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 1: hundred thousand? 112 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,919 Speaker 4: I can imagine that amount, and I'm not sure even 113 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 4: with the uh in retrospect, I'm sorry. I get his 114 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 4: it speaks to his purity of heart and understanding things, 115 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 4: But I don't know, man. 116 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: I he should have gone that round. 117 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:06,600 Speaker 4: I might have. 118 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, fifty grand from nineteen sixty nine would be roughly 119 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 2: four hundred and thirty thousand dollars. 120 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: To Wow, how about that that Tonka truck. 121 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 4: That's real, that's a real talk. Yeah, that's a real truney. 122 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. I knew there was something odd about it because 123 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: it was a Tonka truck with a cellfhane wrap around it, 124 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: and then there was sort of like a big back 125 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: end of it that I thought maybe there was another 126 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: you know, attachment to the truck inside there. 127 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 2: Like the extension. 128 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, yeah, there was there was nothing and 129 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: the like nothing going on in there. Oh that's where 130 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 1: the fifty grand was in that one. And thank god 131 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 1: that I got it because they gave you know, he 132 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 1: gave enough of these Tonka trucks for me and my brothers, 133 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: my sister. And if my brothers got that fifty grand, 134 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 1: you would mum was the word. 135 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 4: Man. 136 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 1: They would have never said anything. My dad would have 137 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: been all mobbed up for the rest of his life. 138 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 4: If that's the movie, right, the kid take the money. 139 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 4: You didn't take it, but your kid took it, and 140 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,799 Speaker 4: now you're in debt to the mob. That's the movie. 141 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: He's all mobbed exactly. He's nine years old smoking a cigar, right, 142 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: you know. And and the reason why he didn't want 143 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: to do it is because there was a big, huge 144 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: mob war going on between Cleveland and Chicago, and my 145 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 1: dad lived in Cleveland. Sure, so he didn't want the 146 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: Cleveland mob pissed at him that he's all mobbed up 147 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 1: with the Chicago guys, you know, because that's where you 148 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 1: really run into trouble, you know, when you live in 149 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: a town and you're mobbed up with another town. That's 150 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: when they come buy and say, hey, what's going on 151 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: with you? You know? So he knew it, My dad 152 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: knew going on. 153 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 4: It sounds like it was the right move. 154 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, it turns out it probably was, But I 155 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: don't know, should have kept the doe. 156 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 4: Should kept the doe and take more. Took money from 157 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 4: the Cleveland mob too. I see, you know, well, I 158 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 4: think that doesn't end well. 159 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: A Sinatra, how it ends? You know you're worth the 160 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: eight hundred million dollars and your name's all over the place. 161 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 3: You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI 162 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 3: AM six forty. 163 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: About ten twelve years ago, somebody gave me some gummies. 164 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: They didn't work here. As a friend from outside of KFI, 165 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: I saw that pretty good, and they gave me no okay, 166 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: they gave me a package of ten gummies and I 167 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: decided to take one before the show and it did nothing. 168 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: Did three hours, went home, nothing and I called them. 169 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: I said, hey, those gummies are pretty weak, and he said, well, 170 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: how made you take I said, I took one. He said, oh, well, 171 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: you know you drink every night. It's not going to 172 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: do anything. I goh, thanks, thanks for that compliment. And 173 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: so the next night or two nights later, I took three. 174 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: And we were on seven to ten PM at that time, 175 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: and at seven thirty the it hit me. The gummies 176 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: hit me, and the whole building started shaking. It felt 177 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: like it was shaking, shaking. Yeah, it felt like the 178 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: whole building was moving. And I'm like, I have got 179 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 1: two and a half hours left, and now I'm panicking. 180 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: I'm sweating, and I'm watching what everyone says, because I 181 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: think that everyone is saying every time somebody opens their mouth, 182 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,079 Speaker 1: I think it's something they shouldn't say on the air, 183 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,559 Speaker 1: or it's not allowed by the FCC, or it's racist, 184 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: or it's anti religion. I'm like, keep hitting the dump button, 185 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: like oh angel, oh belly, Oh no, no, you didn't 186 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: mean that. You didn't mean that. And then the buildings, 187 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: you know, moving again. And then Aaron Bender was here 188 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 1: doing the news and he clicked, he hits the button, 189 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:51,839 Speaker 1: the talkback button, and he says, are you going to 190 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: mention this? And I thought he meant mentioned the fact 191 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: that I'm on three gummies, and I said mention and 192 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: what he said, tim the building's moving. We just had 193 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: a five point eight earthquake. And I'm like, oh, I 194 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,679 Speaker 1: thought that was me. He goes, no, it's not you, well, 195 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: cheap part of you, but it's also all of southern California. 196 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: And so we did two and a half hours of 197 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: talking about the earthquake where the blackouts are. All the 198 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 1: fire you know houses have the ambulance, the fire trucks 199 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 1: station outside in case the fire houses you know, collapse. 200 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: And then every break I called my wife and my 201 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: daughter and they were living in NoHo fourteen on the 202 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: fourteenth story of an apartment building, and the whole building 203 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: was shaking. The chandelier was moving. You could feel the 204 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: entire building. It was on rollers and the whole building 205 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 1: moving back and forth. And I called my wife every 206 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: break to see if she was okay, every break, and 207 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 1: I finally got home. I have not had a gummy 208 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 1: since that was twelve years ago, not a single gummy, 209 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,959 Speaker 1: because I can't control it. You know, you can control 210 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: your buzz with beer or wine or shots. You can 211 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,839 Speaker 1: control where you are, and then you can eat if 212 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,559 Speaker 1: you're getting too buzzed and sort of soak up that liquor. 213 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,559 Speaker 1: Everybody knows where you were, You know where you are. 214 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: When it comes to drinking, you know that you have 215 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,080 Speaker 1: to have food in you, and you have rules. You 216 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 1: have to have water before you get to bed. You 217 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: can't have any anything sweet before you go to bed. 218 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,959 Speaker 1: You can't drink and also have sweets at the same time. 219 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: That'll give you a headache, that'll get you hungover. You 220 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: can't have a baked potato while you drink because of 221 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 1: all the sugar that's in a baked potato. Everybody has 222 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 1: rules when you drink, But when you take gummies, what 223 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: are the rules? I don't know. And how do you 224 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: know when you're taken too many and flip out like 225 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: I did? Not Krozier, but steps have you ever taken 226 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: too many gummies where you flipped out? 227 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, my idiot ex best friend had some cookies and 228 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 5: she gave me a quarter one and she had the 229 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 5: she had the other quarter, and you know, we were 230 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 5: just hanging out. We went to dinner and it was 231 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 5: me and her and a couple of mutual friends. And 232 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 5: she couldn't finish and she was like, oh, just have 233 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 5: the rest. This was the first time I ever had 234 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 5: any kind of edible, and she gave me the other two. 235 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 5: I swear I was inside out of myself. No, that right, 236 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 5: I love. And then we went to go see I 237 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 5: forgot what movie was, but I had a lot of 238 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 5: like psychedelic movements in it, and I thought I was 239 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 5: going to throw up in the theater. 240 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: So I had to leave. Man, it was really bad, 241 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: and I was just like wow. 242 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 5: And then I told my other friends who were more experienced, 243 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,160 Speaker 5: and they're like, yeah, even even the more experienced people 244 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 5: are like no, I'll have like a nibble. 245 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 1: Wow. And I had three court three of a cookie. 246 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: Oh my god. So did you ever think of taking 247 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: yourself or asking somebody to take it? In emergency room? 248 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I swore, everyone knew. I was like 249 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 1: messed up. 250 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 5: I went to the drug store to get some water 251 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,839 Speaker 5: just to like, you know, hopefully wash it out. That 252 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 5: didn't do anything, so I just had to sit there 253 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 5: and like experience the entire high, completely miserable. 254 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: Wow. And yeah, then my dad had to come pick 255 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: me up. Oh my god, I know what's what that's like, buddy. 256 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 6: I know. 257 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 1: You know again, I don't get especially since I've had 258 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 1: my daughter. I can count on maybe two fingers, you know, 259 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: since I you know, I have times I've gotten high 260 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: off of weed. But I do remember I took one hit. 261 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: I was going to go to a friend's house and 262 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 1: watch a boxing match, and I didn't want to smoke 263 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: there because his parents were home. I was young, I 264 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: was like eighteen or nineteen and his parents were home, 265 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: and his parents wouldn't have approved of that. So I 266 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: took one hit. I was living on Dickens in the valley, 267 00:13:56,559 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: one small bongload one and I wasn't even I didn't 268 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 1: even feel it. But I left my driveway. I turned 269 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 1: right on Sepulva and I'm going to turn left on 270 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,079 Speaker 1: Ventura and I'm in the left hand turn lane and 271 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 1: there's a cop behind me. And I said to myself, Tim, 272 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: he doesn't know you're you just took a bong load. 273 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 1: Make this turn successfully. Put your turn signal on, and 274 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: just make this turn. Just make this turn. You've got it. 275 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: You've got this turn. You've made this turn thousands of times, Tim, 276 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: Just make it successfully. And then I hear the cops 277 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: honking at me because the green arrow turned and I 278 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: didn't see it the whole time. The whole time, I'm like, 279 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: just make this turn. You can do it. Just make 280 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: this turn. Come on, can't you see that arrow? And 281 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 1: I pulled over because I knew he was going to 282 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: pull me over, and he drove by me. I got 283 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 1: out of the car and I walked three miles to 284 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: that boxing match, and then my buddy's like, hey, where's 285 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: your car? Like it's on Sepulvida and Ventura, Like why 286 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: is it there? Like, well, I thought the house was closer, 287 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: and I was just gonna park on the street. I 288 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: have to pay for parking because you're three miles away. 289 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: What do you mean that you're closer? You know, pay 290 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: for parking. When you have to pay for parking, it's 291 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: you know, didn't see no got him, my steph. 292 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: When you you said you had your dad come pick 293 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 2: you up, did you tell him what happened? 294 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 4: Oh? 295 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, because he's experienced a lot of that in his life. 296 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: He did. 297 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 5: He was born, you know, he was raising the sixties, 298 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 5: so he did all of that stuff. So I don't 299 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 5: mind telling him. I didn't mind telling him, Okay, cool. 300 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 5: I knew he would understand. And it's and it's not 301 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 5: like I was always on the street, like you know, 302 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 5: wrepped in my life, you know, yeah exactly. It was 303 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 5: like the first time that's ever literally the first time 304 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 5: that's ever happened, not on the street, so you know, 305 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 5: and so he was like, all right, all right, I 306 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 5: got you. And then so he just you know, came 307 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 5: by and then I just had to sleep it off. 308 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 5: But man, that was one of the worst experiences. Like 309 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 5: how long between that experience and you went back. I 310 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 5: don't think until it became legal. Oh really so years? Yeah, 311 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 5: because that was like twenty I want to say, twenty thirteen, 312 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 5: twenty fourteen. Yeah, but see, you never know what's in 313 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 5: that stuff, you know, well, yeah, I also shouldn't have 314 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 5: done three. That's like someone who's never drank, and then 315 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 5: the drink of fifth of vodka. Yeah, like it's the 316 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,800 Speaker 5: same things. Did they know you took the three? Who 317 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 5: my friends? 318 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: Yeah? 319 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 5: Uh, well they were already pretty baked, so that's why 320 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 5: they were like. 321 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, have the rest of this. 322 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 5: And I'm like, okay, cool, I can handle it because 323 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 5: I didn't, like, like Tim was saying, I didn't feel anything, 324 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 5: so I'm like, yeah, I'd be fine the back and 325 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 5: then boom it. 326 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: Has like you know, forty minutes later. It is hard. 327 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: My dad was very strict with drugs. If he caught 328 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: you with any kind of drug, whether it's a you know, coke, 329 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: pot pills, whatever, you went to rehab for thirty or 330 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: sixty days, you got your choice, pulled you out of school, 331 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: and you get either thirty your sixty days in drug rehab. 332 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 2: I had a roommate in college who had been to 333 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 2: rehab already freshman year in college. He had already been 334 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,920 Speaker 2: to rehab like two or three times. Wow, And I said, 335 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 2: did you learn anything? He said, yeah, man, I know 336 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 2: what to take for what I need. That rehab was 337 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 2: the greatest experience. 338 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: I had two brothers who went through rehab, both in 339 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: high school. And yeah, my dad was very strict man, 340 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: very strict he was. I remember taking going into my 341 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 1: dad's medicine cabinet because had a headache and I want 342 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 1: to take some time and all. And I when it 343 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: was cabinet, pulled a bottle out, took a couple of 344 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 1: tail and all, and I'm walking out. My dad said 345 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 1: what are you doing? I said, I'm I just got 346 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:46,679 Speaker 1: some tail and all out of your medicine cabinet. And 347 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: he goes, are you sure? Yeah, I mean you have 348 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: nothing in there but Thailand. All you have Tyland all 349 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: and I don't know, like like Tweezers or something floss 350 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 1: and he goes, wow. He goes, I'm sorry. He goes, 351 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: you know you can't be you can ever be too sure. 352 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: I said, well, case you were, because all you have 353 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: is til and all. And if I'm doing drugs, I'm 354 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: not doing it in your bathroom. 355 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:07,640 Speaker 4: What do you think I took out of there? 356 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: Yeah? In this case, you when you say you can't 357 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: be too sure, in this case, you were definitely too sure. 358 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 4: You were way too short. 359 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:13,719 Speaker 3: Yeah. 360 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: If I'm doing radical illegal drugs, I'm not doing them 361 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,880 Speaker 1: in your bathroom while you're laying down in your bed. 362 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,480 Speaker 4: You were too too sure. That's right. 363 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: Can you ever be too short? You were here, you 364 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,680 Speaker 1: were way too sure. You're extraordinarily too sure. You're out 365 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 1: of control, too sure. It sounds like you're high, too sure. 366 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: It sounds like you're high. I'm not tilt all from 367 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: your cabinet. What's going on with you? All right? What's 368 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: going on with the news. 369 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 3: You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI 370 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 3: AM six forty. 371 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 1: It's Thanksgiving? Hey, look, be grateful you're not stuck on 372 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: the four or five in traffic. Enjoy the show or 373 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 1: don't whatever. Now you've done something that CHP hated. 374 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 4: Well, I mean they're right, they're out there, you know, 375 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 4: cruising looking for you know, back or doing stuff that 376 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 4: they shouldn't be doing. That's unsafe. 377 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: Well you know of it before you go on here? Yeah, 378 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 1: are you realized that the laws in California are made 379 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 1: for your protection? 380 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 4: Of course, thank you, sir. 381 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,680 Speaker 1: So they would rather you obey them. 382 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,919 Speaker 4: Yes, and I typically do. And I don't know what 383 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 4: happened in this one instance. The car kind of got 384 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,680 Speaker 4: away from me, I guess, and I was driving too fast. 385 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: It's an empty for you way, it's midnight, Yes. 386 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 4: It was midnight. There weren't a lot of cars in 387 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 4: the road. 388 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: So and it's not like you drive a car that's 389 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 1: going to shake it at eighty five eighty eight. 390 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 4: No, that's a really smooth ride. But I'll tell you also, 391 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 4: and this is because we talk a lot about the 392 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,479 Speaker 4: way I used to drive. I don't really drive that, 393 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,479 Speaker 4: you know, crazy like a crazy man anymore. So, but 394 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 4: I apparently I still have it somewhere in me because 395 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 4: the car, I guess got away from me or whatever 396 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 4: I drove for whatever I became impatient or you know. 397 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,199 Speaker 4: So anyway, it's midnight, and I see that thing that 398 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 4: just makes your heartstop, which the lights, you know, come 399 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,360 Speaker 4: on they you know, they're red and blue. And then yes, 400 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 4: thank you, And that's exactly and then wait, did you 401 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 4: get scared? 402 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 1: Are you angry? 403 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:02,959 Speaker 4: I was scared? 404 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 1: I was that means you're still young, okay, as you 405 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: get older, like my grandfather at one point flipped where 406 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: he was no longer scared. He was pissed. 407 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 4: Now I was scared. And they have such bright lights. 408 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know where the candle power comes 409 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 4: from on these lights. But it was like, God, this 410 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 4: is insane. I'm gonna get up like a sunburn from 411 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 4: this light. And so I'm frightened, and I pull over 412 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 4: to the you know, and the right lane, and then 413 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 4: I hear, oh yeah, And I'm thinking, oh no, I 414 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 4: can't hear because the windows up. So I roll the 415 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 4: window down and I am still driving, you know, But 416 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 4: now I'm in the right lane and goes hot. I 417 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,719 Speaker 4: can't understand what he's saying, and so then I roll 418 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 4: the other window down so I could hear it again, 419 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 4: and and I hear I've got both windows down, and 420 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,959 Speaker 4: I'm now I pull off the road. Okay. So now 421 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 4: I'm there on the shoulder of the road full stop, 422 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 4: and he pulls up on him and goes close. I'm like, 423 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 4: did he tell me like to throw the keys out? 424 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 4: Of the car or what is he telling him. I 425 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,640 Speaker 4: don't know what he's telling me. I still can't understand him, 426 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 4: so I'm figuring. And then then quickly he said pause 427 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,199 Speaker 4: exit oh and exit okay, So he wanted me to 428 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 4: go to the next exit and pull off. So I 429 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:31,439 Speaker 4: did pull off and then Lansham lankershim exactly and then close, 430 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,440 Speaker 4: and I just figured he wanted me to turn. It's 431 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 4: weird how you think that technology would have matched the 432 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,360 Speaker 4: technology that the lights have, you know what I mean. 433 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 4: But it doesn't. It's not clearly they've really outpaced the 434 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 4: audio part of that whole thing. 435 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,119 Speaker 1: I think they do that on purpose, so you know, 436 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: they confuses the guy that he takes off and there's 437 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: a chase I. 438 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 4: See, but I'm not exaggerating. I couldn't understand except for exit. 439 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 4: I got that and then I I turned at the bottom. 440 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 1: Did you not understand because you had too much to drink? 441 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,199 Speaker 1: Is that was that problem? 442 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,440 Speaker 4: So I pull over to the to the right and 443 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 4: this dude, uh you know, comes up to and he's 444 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 4: this tall, good looking dude. It's like you got everybody, 445 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,640 Speaker 4: all all our cops are just like they're just at 446 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 4: a central casting like right out of chips, you know. 447 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 4: And there he is and he's and he says. 448 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 1: You know you'll no longer get the Barney fivees. 449 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 4: And exactly, it's you know, and you also don't get 450 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 4: like the boss hog. You know what I mean, you're 451 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,479 Speaker 4: not getting that. So this he's is your license pleasing? 452 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,199 Speaker 4: And he says, uh, you know, I got you. I 453 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 4: got your speeding back there. I said, oh really, I 454 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 4: said to gush. And the first thing, I said, hey man, 455 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. I couldn't understand what you were saying. 456 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 4: That's why I pull over. I pull ahead. I just couldn't. 457 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,920 Speaker 4: I was desperate to understand what you were saying. He said, 458 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 4: it's okay, it's okay, just need to see your license. 459 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 4: Dikes the license and he goes, I got you for speeding. 460 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 4: And I was still like racked with guilt that I 461 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 4: was unable to understand him before, like I couldn't follow 462 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:00,919 Speaker 4: his instructions. I felt like that maybe that was he 463 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 4: thought I was messing with him. He looks the license, 464 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 4: he said, this is still your addresses. Yeah. I said okay. 465 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 4: I said how fast was I going? He said eighty five? 466 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: Wow? 467 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:16,120 Speaker 4: I said what eighty five. He said, yeah, eighty five, 468 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 4: he said, When I was, he said, I said, well, 469 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,440 Speaker 4: and man, this is pretty classic. I said, well, I 470 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,720 Speaker 4: really I thought people were passing me. And he said, 471 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,480 Speaker 4: when I was following you, you were the fastest guy 472 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 4: out there. I thought, well that's probably true. 473 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, you were the fastest. 474 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 4: And so I uh so he goes back, and then 475 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 4: right as he's leaving, this other person comes up, like, 476 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 4: I guess the you know, his partner. And I look 477 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:48,399 Speaker 4: over and it's a woman and she's stunning. Okay, I'm thinking, 478 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 4: are you kidding me? Are you a real cop? I mean, 479 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 4: are you an actress? Maybe like studying for a role 480 00:23:55,000 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 4: as a cop. She was that attractive and and so 481 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 4: I said, aren't you late for an audition? No, no, 482 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 4: I did not say that. I said, I did the 483 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 4: same thing. I felt so bad. I said, hey, I 484 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 4: want to apologize. I said, I couldn't understand what you 485 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 4: guys were saying. That's why I pulled over. And then 486 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 4: I pulled the head. She said it's okay, he said, 487 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 4: we'll be right back. They go back to the cruiser. 488 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 4: I think that's what they call them. Cruisers. Sure, And 489 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,159 Speaker 4: it was like a minute, maybe two minutes, and they 490 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,440 Speaker 4: came back and they gave me the license. She came 491 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,200 Speaker 4: back and she said be careful with your speed. She said, 492 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 4: it's that speeding tickets are expensive and it's dangerous. 493 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: Wow. 494 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 4: Man. Then let me go and they split. Yeah. 495 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 1: Holy smoked. 496 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,719 Speaker 4: He did ask me if I was if I had 497 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 4: been drinking, and I said the answer was truthfully no, 498 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 4: And I think that's kind of what they were worried about. 499 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 4: If I'd been drinking at all, I think it might 500 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 4: have been a different conversation. Yeah. 501 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,520 Speaker 1: I never drink, and even like one beer. If we 502 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,120 Speaker 1: have a beer at dinner, I have gen drive home. 503 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 1: Because I had a buddy of mine who had a 504 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 1: couple of drinks and he got rear ended at a 505 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: stop sign and he got a DUI for it. Right, 506 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 1: I mean, he was blamed in the collision because he 507 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: had like it wasn't over the limit, but he had 508 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 1: alcohol in his system and somebody was hurting the car 509 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 1: behind him. Sure, and it wasn't his fault. He was 510 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,639 Speaker 1: sitting there stopped and a guy hit him. This is 511 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: how paranoid I am about about drinking and driving. If 512 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: I'm homeworking on the garage, like on a Saturday night 513 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: and I've had a couple of beers, I'll ask Jen 514 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: to bring the car in from the curb into the garage. Wow, 515 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,679 Speaker 1: isn't that crazy? 516 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 4: That's really I mean, that's but. 517 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: See, this is this is what I envision. I go 518 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: to move the car off the curb, somebody hits me 519 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: and I've had, you know, nineteen drinks and it's done. 520 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 1: I'm over right. 521 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 4: Well, that's a level of caution. That's it. 522 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: It's border bordering on a problem. Yeah, I mean that 523 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: I have a problem. 524 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 4: I'm but what's funny about this is you were surrounded 525 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,119 Speaker 4: by drinkers. I remember telling a story with McClean Stevenson 526 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 4: driving oh yeah from a ballgame downtown and he literally 527 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 4: had like a hit a tonic in his hand while 528 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:01,800 Speaker 4: he was driving. 529 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: All right, I've never used that name on the air. 530 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: I said it was my dad's friend. 531 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,160 Speaker 4: But I'm so sorry. Maybe it was not McLean Stephenson. 532 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 4: Maybe it was not. I'm serious, I just picked I 533 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 4: picked the name. McLean Stephenson could have been anybody. 534 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 3: You're listening to Tim Conway tun You're on demand from 535 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 3: KF I am six forty. 536 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: Stuff your face, loosen the pants and kick back with 537 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,439 Speaker 1: stuff we did over the last year or so. Brian Reagan. 538 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: Very funny comic. It's a really cool bit on flying. 539 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: You want to hear it, Okay, I'll play it for you. Okay, okay, okay, 540 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: And I flew here, I've come. 541 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 7: The first class people just they can just get on 542 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 7: whenever they want. I've always hated that. First class people 543 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 7: for it your lee, take your time. First class people 544 00:26:51,680 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 7: wait since because ups So when you do get on 545 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 7: the first class people, they're already sitting there. They're all 546 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,680 Speaker 7: sprawled out in their big thrones. Bring me the head 547 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 7: of a peg and a goblin of something cool and refreshing. 548 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:25,399 Speaker 7: Who don't have a fiddle? Thank someone from Coach Fiddle 549 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 7: for the movement the fiddles and the overhead backs up there, 550 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 7: you're not allowed to even use their bathrooms. The bathrooms 551 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 7: up front are for our first class passengers. The coach 552 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 7: bathrooms are located at Newark Airport. 553 00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 6: Concourse se Concourse CE. 554 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 7: Maybe should be so when you do board the first 555 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 7: class people, they're sitting there. 556 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 1: A lot of them are working as you're boarding. They 557 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: have computers out and calculators. 558 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 7: They're looking up and you're like, hey, we're making money 559 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 7: right now, right now, making money. 560 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:05,399 Speaker 6: Go get in the back, hurtain. I don't want to 561 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 6: see have it in my primal. 562 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 7: Snap it snap it shot. 563 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 6: It's a matter with us. They gotta cover us up 564 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 6: with a tarp. You go in the back. 565 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 1: Everybody has coloring books on put where where was you? 566 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 6: Where was your mine? 567 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 7: You're in the middle and there's nine of us, and 568 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 7: you're in the middle, and we have all the armrest. 569 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 6: You gotta sit like this. 570 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 4: You gotta figure out. 571 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 7: A way to eat your snap while your arbles are touching. 572 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 7: You gotta learn how to twist your little plastic your tensil. 573 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:44,680 Speaker 6: Like to sit. 574 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 1: Weigh in the back, weigh in the back. 575 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 6: Except for one thing. All the good meals run out. 576 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 7: You know, you're poking your head out from roub onety nine. 577 00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 1: The flat at tennants are this big. 578 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 6: You can hear the good meals and snag. 579 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 7: We have a turkey sandwich, a chicken case sandia, and 580 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 7: a cold fishhead. 581 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 6: I wonder what I'm good. So when they get to 582 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:22,280 Speaker 6: the back of. 583 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 7: The plane, they have to do that flat attendant psychology 584 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 7: game and pretend like the good stuff never even existed. 585 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 6: It never even was. 586 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:30,920 Speaker 4: Would you like a. 587 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 7: Nice cold fish head? They're frozen, solid, frozen head of fish, 588 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 7: the eyeballs in there and the skeletons coming out. 589 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 6: It comes with a turn up and a store. 590 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 7: I was pushing. 591 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: You'd have one of them pushing upon a star. 592 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 7: But I admire flat attendants, man, I really do. 593 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 6: They put up with a lot of garbage from people. 594 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 1: Have you ever been sitting in your. 595 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 7: Seat and you see somebody trying to fit somebody overhead racked? 596 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 7: You know you're going in there like a million years 597 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 7: you have like a mattress on a lamp. They're looking 598 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 7: at him like what kind of perception problems this guy have? 599 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,479 Speaker 7: And the flight attendants are always nice. You always run 600 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 7: up and act like it might maybe fit. You know, 601 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 7: I don't know if that's gonna get up there pick 602 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 7: a jacket for you, you moron. 603 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,480 Speaker 6: I know that's what they want to say. 604 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 7: I would last about eight seconds at that job. I'll 605 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 7: just get up there and say, look like it's going 606 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 7: to fit. Now, this is much true. 607 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 1: You have a dead yet, are you okay? You don't 608 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 1: see all these people jammed up waiting on you. 609 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 6: You don't see it. It's like, you know, this is 610 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 6: your girl. It's all about you. 611 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,960 Speaker 1: You let us know when you're all set. That guy's great, man, 612 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: Brian Reagan. If you want something clean that the kids 613 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,680 Speaker 1: can listen to, you know, you got some time this 614 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: holiday season. You want to put something on, something that's 615 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: you know, not social media and the kids and the 616 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: parents can listen to. Brian Reagan is the go to guys. 617 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 2: It does take a lot for a clean comedian to 618 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 2: get to me, and he definitely does. 619 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is. 620 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta go for the dark, nexty stuff, but 621 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 2: Reagan knocks it out. 622 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 7: Man. 623 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's good man. Brian Reagan, isn't it. We're live 624 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 1: on KFI AM six forty Conway Show on demand on 625 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: the iHeart Radio app. Now you can always hear us 626 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 1: live on KFI AM six forty four to seven pm 627 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on the iHeart 628 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 1: Radio app.