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Speaker 1: All right, we're ready for the Minnesota Goodbye. Yes, all right,

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Speaker 1: let's get started. Thanks for the there's all. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to start off with this one. Somebody wrote in a

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Speaker 1: very very long comic email and it was about commercials

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Speaker 1: during the podcast, and I would just be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: It is really long, so I don't want you to

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Speaker 1: think that I didn't appreciate it. I didn't like it.

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Speaker 1: It's just really long, so it will not be on

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Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye. And I feel bad because it's like

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Speaker 1: you really spent a long time picking out a present.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you wrap it up and you put a

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Speaker 2: little bow on there, and.

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Speaker 3: It's just so take too long to don wrap it.

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Speaker 1: It would just take too long done rapid. So I

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Speaker 1: want to let you know here's one that we can

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Speaker 1: use right away. Here we go, Hello friends. I started

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Speaker 1: to write this a while ago, so it's not current,

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Speaker 1: but maybe still relevant.

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Speaker 2: Bailey.

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Speaker 1: I love that you're offering to give your niece a

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Speaker 1: place to live. I know it's not your responsibility, but

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Speaker 1: maybe it's your opportunity, a chance to make her life

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Speaker 1: better and help her on a good path. But you've

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Speaker 1: also mentioned you wouldn't mind having a built in person

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Speaker 1: to do some of the things you like to do

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Speaker 1: with It might be an unexpected blessing for both of you.

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Speaker 1: I hope that everything works out either way.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's I like your point of view. That's kind

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Speaker 4: of how I feel about it. That you know, my

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Speaker 4: life's been the same for a long long time, and

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Speaker 4: if she ends up moving in with me, then it

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Speaker 4: would force me to have a change, and I don't

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Speaker 4: think that's necessarily a bad thing, So okay, And I

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Speaker 4: love her and she's great.

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Speaker 3: She sent me a TikTok the other day. Her name's Jayden.

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Speaker 4: Jane sent me a TikTok the other day that was

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Speaker 4: just like, I don't know, her algorithm is different than mine.

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Speaker 3: So it was just like a.

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Speaker 4: Photo of a girl with this other woman who said, like,

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Speaker 4: who else has like a woman who's not family who

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Speaker 4: they like rely on for like all the love in

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Speaker 4: the world or whatever. And she sent it to me,

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Speaker 4: meaning it's me, and I was just like, I wanted

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Speaker 4: to cry so bad.

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Speaker 3: Ah love me so much. Yeah, I love her.

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Speaker 1: Dave, you talked about getting ice cleats for your walks. Oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: I took Bernie for a while last week and then

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Speaker 1: again on Saturday. I got burning my dog little booties

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Speaker 1: and a jacket, and I just it was so funny

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Speaker 1: to watch him walk in these, and it took him

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Speaker 1: a minute to get used to it. After that, he

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Speaker 1: did fine. It was probably five degrees on Saturday or

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Speaker 1: so when we went out. I actually put on the

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Speaker 1: face mask, the entire face mask, because it was bitter,

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Speaker 1: bitter cold, but still slippery. And it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you slip and fall and you go down to

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Speaker 1: one knee, big deal. But if you slip and fall

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Speaker 1: and bonk your head or like crack a hip or

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Speaker 1: something like that, that would be a horrible way to,

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Speaker 1: you know, to spend a Saturday.

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Speaker 2: Exactly.

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Speaker 1: So, this person, Crystal says, you talked about getting ice

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Speaker 1: cleats for your walk as a mail carrier. I cannot

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Speaker 1: recommend this enough, especially on those icy days. Two words

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Speaker 1: of warning, if there is fresh snow on top of

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Speaker 1: the ice, they will not help as they're not touching

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Speaker 1: the ice, just the cushion of the snow. Secondly, do

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Speaker 1: not wear them on wood surfaces. My front steps are

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Speaker 1: full of pinholes from them. But keeping two things in mind,

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Speaker 1: they are an absolute ass saver.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Finally, I love Christmas wish even though they make me

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Speaker 1: cry almost every time. It's such a reminder of how

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Speaker 1: hard to season for a season it is for some

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Speaker 1: of us. And hold the people in your life a

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Speaker 1: little closer. Closing question, star or angel on top of

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Speaker 1: your tree? I have a star on top of the

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Speaker 1: tree right now.

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Speaker 4: My mom growing up, we always had an angel on

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Speaker 4: top of our tree every single year. I don't have

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Speaker 4: I have a teeny little tree because I have no

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Speaker 4: space in my apartment, so I don't got anything really

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Speaker 4: on my tree. It's one of those fiber optic ones,

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Speaker 4: so it changes color from within the tree.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a lot of ornaments from when you

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Speaker 1: were a kid or from your like accumulated over the years.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 4: My mom used to buy both me and my sister

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Speaker 4: an ornament every single year and then put them into

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Speaker 4: a box so that when we had a house with

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Speaker 4: our own Christmas tree, Yeah, we had all the ornaments.

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Speaker 3: I don't have a house.

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Speaker 4: I don't have my own Christmas tree, so it's just

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Speaker 4: a box at my mom's house.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you don't have a tree up at your house.

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Speaker 4: It's teen it's like a table tree, like even smaller

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Speaker 4: than a table tree.

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Speaker 3: It's little.

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Speaker 1: I remember one year I was Susan and I have

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Speaker 1: not always been together, in case you think we've been

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Speaker 1: together consistently. We broke up in the mid nineties and

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Speaker 1: I was actually engaged to somebody else, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of people don't know that. But then we broke up,

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Speaker 1: and then she moved out, and that Christmas I didn't

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Speaker 1: have a tree. I had a snow globe with a

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Speaker 1: tree inside your Christmas snow globe and that was kind

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Speaker 1: of sad and pathetic. But yeah, we've got a tree now,

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Speaker 1: but it's sparsely decorated with ornaments because we've got a

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Speaker 1: lifetime of ornaments. We've got ornaments from my mom and dad.

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Speaker 1: We've got ornaments that, you know, just all kinds, and

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Speaker 1: we just we put a sparse spattering of ornaments on

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Speaker 1: the tree, but all over.

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Speaker 3: The place, right, like you don't just concentrate on one side.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, all over the place. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: My friend Katie has been seeing this guy and she

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Speaker 4: sent me like a picture of his Christmas tree that

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Speaker 4: looks like, you know, single guy lives alone decorated this

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Speaker 4: Christmas tree. It's just like pretty barren tree with some

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Speaker 4: white lights and then a spattering of ornaments at eye level,

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Speaker 4: just an eye and that's it, like on one side,

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Speaker 4: eye level, and like that is the ugliest freaking tree.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody needs to talk to that man.

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Speaker 2: It seems a little lazy.

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Speaker 3: It seems lazy. I mean put the tree up.

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Speaker 1: Well, we did notice this. The girls were over this

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Speaker 1: weekend and they were they were terrible this weekend. They

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Speaker 1: really were, and they I don't know, but they were terrible,

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Speaker 1: and they were taking ornaments off the trees and they

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Speaker 1: broke one and I said, those are not toys. They

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Speaker 1: are not meant to be handled. They are meant to

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Speaker 1: be looked at. And then they pulled you know the

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Speaker 1: cord that lets down a blind Yeah, okay, they pulled

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Speaker 1: it till it came off.

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Speaker 2: They broke it. Yep, it was an accident because they

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Speaker 2: were being they were.

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Speaker 1: Being little terrors. Yes, And I don't know if your

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Speaker 1: kids do this or if you I've had kids. They

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Speaker 1: get into a ball and they roll around and they

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Speaker 1: fight and giggle iteeh ow.

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Speaker 2: Ow quit it he ow stop it eva.

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Speaker 3: Quit it ow he.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, stop it, because how does it always end?

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Speaker 1: One of them gets hurt and starts to cry, yes

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Speaker 1: every fucking goddamn time. And Susan, who is the most

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Speaker 1: patient Grammy of all time, she had had it. She

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Speaker 1: had frozen in her chair in front of the TV,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm not handling them anymore. I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing it anymore. I'm not handling anymore. And I said okay,

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Speaker 1: And they were there rolling around in a ball.

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Speaker 2: Oh quit ow he.

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Speaker 1: And I said, all right, that's it. I've asked you

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Speaker 1: too to stop so many times. You come with me.

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Speaker 1: I picked Ava up and I brought her into the

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Speaker 1: dining room where there's a couch. I put her on

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Speaker 1: the couch. Stay there, don't move. I took Evelyn three,

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Speaker 1: picked her up, took her in the other room, put

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Speaker 1: her on the piano bench.

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Speaker 2: Stay there.

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Speaker 1: I don't talk. Do not get up. Give me that

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Speaker 1: toy in your hand. No toys. How long do we

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Speaker 1: well you, the more you talk, the longer you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to stay there. And it's like they just needed

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Speaker 1: some sort of consequences. Yeah, because they just ran right

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Speaker 1: over us and they're sweet, sweet girls. And it gets

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Speaker 1: to a point where it's like it's not cute anymore.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like stop it I told you to stop it.

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Speaker 4: I'm not listening to me, though. It seems like they

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Speaker 4: at least know what a timeout is, which is nice

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Speaker 4: they do, Yeah, because I know plenty of kids who

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Speaker 4: have never heard of a time out in their life.

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Speaker 3: It feels like they'd be like you guys.

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Speaker 4: We were talking about it last week, where we're saying,

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Speaker 4: you guys, stop that, now you stop that, or else,

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Speaker 4: Now you stop that or else or else?

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Speaker 3: What Mom?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's happened. You gotta have those consequences. And

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Speaker 1: there was another time this weekend that happened. On Saturday.

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Speaker 1: I had to move them to separate ends of the couch.

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Speaker 1: The couch is l shaped and they were doing the

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Speaker 1: same thing, rolling around in a ball, giggling, pinching, kicking

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Speaker 1: and whatever, and so I put them on the opposite

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Speaker 1: in the ends of the couch and it was a

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Speaker 1: matter of time until one of them crawled over to

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Speaker 1: the other one and started punching and hitting her. So

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Speaker 1: come on, all right, next one from Liz, just chirping in. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye worked fine when I listened to it

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Speaker 1: earlier in the week. No issues whatsoever on the iHeart

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Speaker 1: app not sure when it decided to change or become

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Speaker 1: shorter as that. One listener stated, the new system sounds

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Speaker 1: like it is going to be an issue. Your podcast today,

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Speaker 1: hungary or horny was a little annoying put in a

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Speaker 1: five minute ad. A five minute ad in the middle

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Speaker 1: of a story. Bailey was telling it's annoying, but I

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Speaker 1: got to listen to you, and I just keep hitting

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Speaker 1: plus thirty plus thirty plus thirty. I will raise hell

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Speaker 1: if they figured out how to remove the option to

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Speaker 1: skip ads like they do on streaming shows. Shit, I

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Speaker 1: probably just jinked myself. Love you all, Happy Holidays, Merry

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Speaker 1: Christmas from Liz. Well, that's true because when you're watching

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Speaker 1: Hulu sometimes it'll be like ad up in the right

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Speaker 1: hand corner, a yellow button that says AD three minutes

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds and you can't skip through those.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Oh and those are the worst. I hate those so much.

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Speaker 4: I hope they don't do that with these A knock

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Speaker 4: on wood. But so we were talking about this last

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Speaker 4: week that we have a brand new like podcast system

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Speaker 4: and I upload the podcast every day, and literally, like

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Speaker 4: on the day that we got the someone saying that

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Speaker 4: the live podcast wasn't loading right and I tried to

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Speaker 4: go in and now there's an alert that says, like,

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Speaker 4: you need to put in an AD. You need to

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Speaker 4: put in an AD, and I just push a button

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Speaker 4: and it just automatically inserts the AD. I'm going to

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Speaker 4: see if I can like choose where it goes, because

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Speaker 4: maybe I can't.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: But anyway, so now every time I upload something, it

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Speaker 4: tells me you are required to put in a mid

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Speaker 4: roll AD is what it's called.

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Speaker 1: And so you drop it in, but you don't know

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Speaker 1: exactly where it's going to fall. No, I have no idea,

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Speaker 1: but it could be in the middle of your story.

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Speaker 2: I mean you could.

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Speaker 1: You could surgically go in and insert it between a

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Speaker 1: gap and the show, but you don't have to I.

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Speaker 3: Don't, so maybe I'll try.

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Speaker 4: I'll try that today and see if I can make

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Speaker 4: that work so it's not in the middle of something.

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Speaker 3: Maybe. Okay, Well see I'm innovative.

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Speaker 2: Can I ask you a question?

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Speaker 3: Sure you do.

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Speaker 1: You've caught on with the zero audio editing experience, and

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Speaker 1: you edit all the slow parts out of War of

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Speaker 1: the Roses. You'll edit some slow parts out of other

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Speaker 1: things you upload the podcast, you upload the Minnesota, Goodbye.

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Speaker 1: How difficult is that to do?

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Speaker 3: It's not difficult at all.

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Speaker 4: So I when I first started, and I don't know,

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Speaker 4: I must have been vont or Jenny whatever, showed me

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Speaker 4: how to upload the podcast every day, like the podcast

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Speaker 4: of the show. Once they showed it to me, in

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Speaker 4: my brain, I knew I could grasp that. I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: I can do that. I will take that on as

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Speaker 4: one of my responsibilities. And so pretty much anytime that

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Speaker 4: I know that I can grasp something, I'll be like,

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Speaker 4: I'll do it because I want to take something off

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Speaker 4: of Jenny's plate. Usually Yeah, and this one it's just

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Speaker 4: for the podcast like Uploader. I feel like in the

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Speaker 4: year and a half that I've been here, we've had

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Speaker 4: two brand new podcasts like Uploaders that we've had to

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Speaker 4: work with. Yeah, and a lot of it. Honestly, I

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Speaker 4: give myself a tiny bit of credit because I'm good

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Speaker 4: at just troubleshooting crap on my own. Yeah, Or like

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Speaker 4: if I can't figure something out, instead of asking someone

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Speaker 4: and being like, could you help me, I'll just be like,

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Speaker 4: hold on, let me click a million things and they'll

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Speaker 4: figure it.

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Speaker 2: Out my way. I admire that about you, so it's

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Speaker 2: not hard, okay.

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Speaker 4: I think like when Jenny showed me how to edit

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Speaker 4: the pauses and weird stuff out of war the roses.

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Speaker 3: She can do that so fast. She'll be like cock

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Speaker 3: cock cock cocka click. It takes me forever.

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Speaker 4: But really it's because I'm sitting there listening to it

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Speaker 4: and then I get distracted by my phone and I go, oh, crap,

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Speaker 4: and then I go back to listen to it again,

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Speaker 4: and it takes me a while.

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Speaker 1: And there's been a couple of times where Bailey missed

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Speaker 1: something where we usually bleep the person's name out. It's

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Speaker 1: like Adam and we bleep out Adam, or if somebody

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Speaker 1: says motherfucker, we usually try to bleep out motherfucker. And

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Speaker 1: then we're like, oh, Bailey, you missed a motherfucker.

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Speaker 3: Oops, my bad oo.

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Speaker 1: Next email is from well they say, don't say my

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Speaker 1: name fair enough. I just finished my holiday car for teachers,

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Speaker 1: bus drivers, pairs and all the other folks, as well

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Speaker 1: as the USPS carry or trash collector recycling carrier, et cetera.

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Speaker 1: I was making these extra cards for mail trash. I

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Speaker 1: was curious what I should be tipping those folks. The

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Speaker 1: search online has a large range, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to seem too cheap. But I don't want to go

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Speaker 1: too crazy since money around the holidays just pours out

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Speaker 1: of the bank account. If there's any good ideas on

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Speaker 1: what people tend to tip, that would be great. I

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Speaker 1: gifted bus drivers twenty, teachers fifty. I know that's overkill,

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Speaker 1: but they deserve it. Trash, recycling and mail each thirty

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Speaker 1: dollars everything cash again, don't say my name, and happy

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Speaker 1: tipping everyone.

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Speaker 3: Wow, I feel like you're generous for tipping at.

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Speaker 1: All one hundred percent. I think our trash collector tapes

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Speaker 1: a note to our trash can that says Merry Christmas

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Speaker 1: or whatever, which is kind of like a key or

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Speaker 1: a Q two tip, which I don't mind. You know what,

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Speaker 1: if we can afford it and they're out there doing

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Speaker 1: something that you know, nobody goes. I want to collect trash, Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we give them a little something.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've I don't think i've ever tip.

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Speaker 4: I mean I don't own a home, but like, I've

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Speaker 4: never tipped a trash collector. I used to when I

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Speaker 4: was a kid, like leave candy for the mailman.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty much okay. That's all I ever.

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Speaker 1: Did we do the thing where we have a box

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Speaker 1: on our front porch for all the drivers, and it's like,

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Speaker 1: there's beef sticks, there's chips. We don't put pop out

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Speaker 1: there because it'll freeze. Yeah, but little snacky snacks that

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Speaker 1: sounds lovely and it says, hey, it's for all of

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Speaker 1: our lovely ups, mail whatever, drivers, Amazon, whatever, And most

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Speaker 1: of them don't take anything. But once in a while

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Speaker 1: it's kind of gratifying to see on the ring cam

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Speaker 1: somebody like leaning over and digging through the box for

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Speaker 1: a slim gym. Yes, so we love that. I did

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Speaker 1: my Christmas cards over the weekend and I mailed out

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Speaker 1: I think forty seven currently. That's how many I've finally

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Speaker 1: got up to forty seven Christmas cards.

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Speaker 3: Did you send me one?

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Speaker 1: You'll find out I hand address every one of them,

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Speaker 1: because you know how I feel.

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Speaker 2: I've talked about it before.

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Speaker 1: Or if you send out a Christmas card where a

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Speaker 1: computer does all the work, then the card is not

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Speaker 1: about them. It's about you, and I don't want the

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Speaker 1: card to be about Look how wonderful I am that

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Speaker 1: I sent you a card. That's narcissistic. I hate that

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Speaker 1: I want you to know that I love you and

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Speaker 1: I thought about you, so I hand address it rather

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Speaker 1: than have a computer print out a bunch of labels.

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Speaker 1: Because if you're making Christmas cards too easy, this is

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Speaker 1: my opinion, you're making it about Look at me. I

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Speaker 1: gave you a Christmas card? Would you agree or disagree?

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Speaker 4: I don't really have an opinion about it. I feel

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Speaker 4: like I'm just happy to get them in the first place.

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Speaker 2: What do you do with your cards?

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Speaker 4: So I just I keep all of them because you

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Speaker 4: never know, like when you won't see those people ever again,

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Speaker 4: and you want to look back on them. I have

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Speaker 4: a friend who has Christmas cards, Birthday cards, any kind

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Speaker 4: of like cards that he gets in the mail. And

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Speaker 4: he bought himself one of those like postcard spinners that

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Speaker 4: you see like in retail shops, you know, wherever you go,

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Speaker 4: and he keeps all of the cards in this little

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Speaker 4: postcard spinner. And I want one of those dang postcard

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Speaker 4: spinners so bad. But they're like weirdly like expensive, and

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Speaker 4: that's how he keeps all of them. Then he like

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Speaker 4: displays the ones that are most relevant on the outside,

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Speaker 4: so it's a it's like a decor item.

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Speaker 1: I feel bad throwing them away. We tape ours to

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Speaker 1: the side of the refrigerator. Actually, the side of the

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Speaker 1: our oven is in a cabinet, so I type did

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Speaker 1: the cabinet on the side, and it usually gets you know,

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Speaker 1: we probably get about thirty or forty Christmas cards or

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Speaker 1: forty six. Oh really, well, I'm older and I got

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Speaker 1: a lot more like older people that send cards. My

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Speaker 1: sister Vivian, she's just so lovely. She really is just

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite people ever. And she hand makes

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Speaker 1: a Christmas card and she actually writes a letter inside.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I don't not like people who put a Christmas letter

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Speaker 1: in there, like a standard, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like little Tommy went to football camp and little Sharona

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Speaker 1: got into mit. I don't do those. I don't disrespect them,

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Speaker 1: but I don't read them. Yeah, and it's not because

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Speaker 1: I don't like them. I just don't read them.

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Speaker 4: I only read them if they're like really close friends,

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Speaker 4: but I actually cared about their family or know who

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Speaker 4: their family is.

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Speaker 3: But if I barely know them and they're like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Jessica got accepted to and I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 4: know who Jessica is.

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Speaker 3: Who's that I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I wish they would write like a real one, like well,

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Speaker 1: once again Bill was caught cheating on me with a

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Speaker 1: gay man.

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Speaker 3: That would be so good.

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Speaker 1: And Bill caught herpes, which he says that I gave

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Speaker 1: to him. But I found out that he was cheating

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Speaker 1: with a gay man because the gay man showed up

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Speaker 1: naked on our front porch on Halloween. We are now

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Speaker 1: getting a divorce and we've hired Jonathan Fogel, who is great.

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Speaker 1: But my husband got what I would love to get

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Speaker 1: that Little Jessica lost her IUD she was playing volleyball

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Speaker 1: or IUD fell out on the volleyball court. And little

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Speaker 1: Thomas he is still having the meth problem, but we're

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Speaker 1: pretty sure that we can get him into Betty Ford.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'd love to hear that type.

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Speaker 3: Of shit, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: Now, I want to write a Christmas card just so

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Speaker 4: I can write this expand story that I know no

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Speaker 4: one's going to read, and it's going to be a test,

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Speaker 4: and it's like, if you've made it to the end

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Speaker 4: of this letter, please that.

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Speaker 1: Would be a funny bit bit. Susan has enjoyed her

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Speaker 1: career on OnlyFans and is now making three hundred and

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Speaker 1: seventy five dollars a week with a thing that she

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Speaker 1: does called Nipple Time every afternoon from three until four.

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Speaker 1: And she has had several gentleman callers show up at

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Speaker 1: the house and they do disappear into the basement for

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Speaker 1: several hours, but she comes out looking and see what.

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Speaker 1: People go fuck and then at the end go, if

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Speaker 1: you got this far Merry Christmas. All of this is bullshit.

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Speaker 1: I think people would. I'm gonna do that next year.

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Speaker 3: Okay, do it. Write it down, Write it down.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna forget Jenny down. Write it down, all right?

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Speaker 1: Anything else you want to cover on Minnesota Goodbye?

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Speaker 3: No, I think that's it. That's all we got.

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Speaker 2: Is that all you got?

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Speaker 4: That's all she wrote. I think that was good to

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Speaker 4: end on. Write it down, Jenny, that's a good bit.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I like that all right? That is that is

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Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye for today. Little short on emails, So

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Speaker 1: if you want to send one in, we'd always love

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Speaker 1: to hear from you. Send that into Ryan Show at

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Speaker 1: KDWB dot com and we'll see you next time on

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Speaker 1: the Minnesota Goodbye