1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:00,960 Speaker 1: Ah. 2 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 2: Yes, when you hear don't stop believing. That means it's 3 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 2: time for our weekly get together with Pastor Chad Hoven 4 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: from the Horizon Community Church right there in Newtown, Ohio, 5 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 2: right along the bank, so the little Miami River, beautiful 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: setting over there. 7 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 3: Lake right out the back of the church. All right. 8 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 2: We decided three weeks ago, and Chad came up with 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 2: the title of our four part series. A lot of 10 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 2: people like to make New Year's resolutions, and so maybe 11 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 2: different than your say, physical health or whatever it might be. 12 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 2: He calls this series the me I Want to Be 13 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,319 Speaker 2: Today is part three. But Chad, for those that may 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 2: have missed parts one and two, let's start with number one. 15 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 2: If you can just you know, sort of prioritize or 16 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 2: summarize more accurately. 17 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 3: Number one, I'm not too busy. It's just not a priority. 18 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, say, mass praise to yourself is really helpful because 19 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: it helps you remember that when you choose not to 20 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 1: do something, it's because you're choosing not to do something. 21 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 3: The kind of. 22 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: False belief that we're too busy. We're going to fill 23 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 1: our life with things that are important to us, and 24 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: so if you're not prioritizing something, it's because you're not 25 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: prioritizing something. Sep phrase is really helpful in aligning what 26 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 1: it is you're really choosing to do and choosing not 27 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: to do. Okay, the first week and the second week 28 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: we talked about to be list should be what drives 29 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 1: your to do list, which is who do you want 30 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: to be, who you're becoming, who you're forming yourself into. 31 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: Then how do you make sure that what you're choosing 32 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: to prioritize or engage in, or when life kind of 33 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: comes at you and you can't choose it, how do 34 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: I use this to become a more generous person, to 35 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: become a less worryful person, How do I become more 36 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,639 Speaker 1: courageous person? And that can really bring meaning and purpose 37 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: even when you're under dress. 38 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 2: You know, I loved as part of that second part 39 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 2: of our series about where you talked about making a 40 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,080 Speaker 2: list of character qualities that you saw in the oh 41 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 2: that you have respect for. It could be a loved 42 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 2: one in your case, it was a grandfather for some others, 43 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 2: it could be somebody you work with. 44 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 3: It could be a friend. It could be one of 45 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 3: your children. 46 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 2: Something you look at them and you're like, man, I 47 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 2: wish I were more like that in that way. 48 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: Right without a doubt. Yeah, exactly, And I think it 49 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: actually infused it with meaning because you're like, it's not 50 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: just a theoretical idea. I've seen this lived out. I've 51 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,640 Speaker 1: seen this personalized in someone, and this is what a 52 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: life well lived can look like. And obviously no one 53 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: is perfect that you might say, Hey, that particular quality 54 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: of that person, I like you. I want to leave 55 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,119 Speaker 1: the other things behind on that person, this other person, 56 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 1: I want to pick up what their strengths are. So 57 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: it really gives you a vision for what living in 58 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: a profoundly human way looks like. And you start seeing 59 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: that there's almost intangible, immaterial, almost supernatural qualities behind that, 60 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: and you're like, man, I want to partner with that. 61 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 2: We call it plain glass, stained glass. We do it 62 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 2: every Wednesday with Pastor Chad Hooven from the Horizon Community Church. Okay, 63 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 2: now we get to part three series of the me 64 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 2: I want to be make a hierarchy of needs? What 65 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 2: does that mean? Yeah, well you. 66 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: Mean remember from psychology class if not, there is a 67 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: gun named aslov who create a hierarchy of needs and 68 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:17,399 Speaker 1: thinking it like the food pyramid. At the bottom, he said, 69 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: our foundational need is a biological needs food and water. 70 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: Then on top of that is the next most important 71 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: thing safety. Then the third thing is love and belonging. 72 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: The way towards the top of the pyramid is esteem, 73 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: and then lastly at the very top, if you really 74 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: have time for self actualization, spiritual values, et cetera, I'd 75 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: like to propose that you should actually turn those values 76 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: upside down and inside out, which is what if you 77 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: know a lot of people have their physical needs mets 78 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: and their safety needs met, and yet they're discouraged, they're depressed, 79 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: they're not happy. And it's not to say the food 80 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: and water and safety is important, but what if the 81 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: focus is to turn that upside down. I'm always focusing 82 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: on my externals, not focused on my internals. I need 83 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: to turn inside out, which is what's really going on 84 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: inside of me. There's an old French philosopher Pierre. I 85 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: can't Heber's last name, but he says man is not 86 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: primarily a human being having a spiritual experience. Mankind is 87 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 1: primarily a spiritual being having a human experience. Do you 88 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: think of it this way? Like every human being you 89 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: feel it. I feel it. Everyone you know humans are 90 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 1: obsessed with finding meaning and purpose, Like, why would that 91 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: be except that we are created from a meaningful process. 92 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: I mean, if the whole world was created in a random, 93 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: meaningless way, it would not create creatures that are obsessed 94 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: with meaning. So in saying that, say, then okay, then 95 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: what are my self actualization one of my core values? 96 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: What are the things I really need to focus on? 97 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: That hierarchy of needs? And when you know that, you 98 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: start realizing when you come to decisions, I know what 99 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: to say yes to and what to say no to. 100 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: For many of us, we focus on staying busy, being productive. 101 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: And I love staying busy and I love being productive. 102 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: But what if instead you said, while I'm doing that, 103 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: the real hierarchy is I need to go deep. I 104 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: need to pay attention to my body. My body is 105 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: telling me right now, I'm discouraged. My body's telling me 106 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,359 Speaker 1: right now, I am stressed. My mind is racing. What 107 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: if I was focused on I need to prioritize that, Yes, 108 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: I want to work hard, Yes, I want to be 109 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 1: the best employee I can. Yes, I want to provide 110 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,720 Speaker 1: for my financial needs. For my goodness I've been ignoring 111 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: my body. I've been ignoring my mind racing. I've been 112 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: ignoring that, whether it's depression, or whether it's anxiety, or 113 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: whether it's worry or maybe I saw on my parents, man, 114 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: they were so fearful their whole life. I've now inherited 115 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,039 Speaker 1: some of that. I need to go deep. I need 116 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of this. I need to 117 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, how I do it, 118 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 1: and why. I think that's going to force you to 119 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: keep being good at what you do, but not ignore 120 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 1: the symptoms all around you that you said, Ah, that's 121 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: the top of the pyramid. What a luxury to think 122 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: about that kind of stuff versus that might be your 123 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: body and mind really crying out to you about what 124 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: really matters. 125 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 2: You know, I'm kind of curious. It's sparked the question 126 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 2: I've often wondered. And you talked to so many people 127 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 2: on so many different levels of things they're going through. 128 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 2: It could be a breakup of a marriage, it could 129 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 2: be the loss of a loved one, grief, et cetera. 130 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 2: All kinds of deal issues with a child who perhaps 131 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 2: has gone astray. One thing that made me wonder when 132 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 2: you were just talking about something there about for us 133 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 2: to go deep? Okay, do you think and based on 134 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 2: your experience, do you think that a person, if they 135 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 2: really want to go deep, that they have to resolve 136 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 2: some issues of maybe some things in their past that 137 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 2: they've never dealt with. And I'm not talking here now 138 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 2: about serious trauma. I'm not talking about someone who is 139 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: physically or sexually of you. 140 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,559 Speaker 3: It's a whole different level. And there's no doubt about 141 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 3: the answer to that question. 142 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 2: But I'm talking you know, maybe your parents had a 143 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 2: terrible div uh, maybe you and your sister, how whatever 144 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 2: it could be, is it important for you to go 145 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 2: deep as you just made reference to, do you have 146 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: to be able to put some of those other things 147 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 2: to bed that may have happened five years ago, forty 148 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: years ago before you can go deep? 149 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: Well? Yeah, I think it might even be the very 150 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: definition of going to deep as a deal with those things. 151 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: It's how did I become who I am? And what 152 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: part of that is me reacting to the past, What 153 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: part of that is me repeating the past? And how 154 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: do I move to a place where I'm responding to 155 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,239 Speaker 1: the past. What's the difference? Responding is I know what happened, 156 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: I know what part of it I'm choosing to leave behind. 157 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: I know what part of it is I have healed from. 158 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: There's a there's a psychology called love attachment theory, and 159 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: it says that the problems in your marriage didn't begin 160 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: in your marriage. And you think, God, if only my 161 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: spouseuld blah blah blah. But really, if you've picked up 162 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: patterns from the past, you're still caring wounds or wounded 163 00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: miss And you know this, We all know this. How 164 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: wonderful your life is. And here in America and living 165 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty six, you know we all are very, 166 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: very blessed. However, life is brutal, and it is hostile 167 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: often and the things we endured, the difficulties, and sometimes 168 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: that's expectations to for many of us. Yeah, often you 169 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: can't enjoy the life you could have until you have 170 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: to grieve the life you should have. And many of 171 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: us had expectations. My life should be like this. I'm 172 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: now forty years old, I'm now sixty years old. I 173 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: should be X, Y and Z. And because of some 174 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: brutal part of your life, something that happened that was 175 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 1: beyond your control, or you know, we all make bone 176 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 1: heeaded decisions too. We go, then we beat ourselves up 177 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,200 Speaker 1: over if only I hadn't done that, said that been 178 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: there across that line. So a lot of times it's grieving, 179 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: and I don't think a lot of us know how 180 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,319 Speaker 1: to grieve. And grieving is saying, man, I know what happens, 181 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: I know what I wanted to happen. I did my darkness. 182 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: I mean there's times like I remember my book came out. 183 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: I did my darkness to. 184 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 3: Kind of. 185 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: Check every dot, every eye, cross every tee to make 186 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: sure I had done my part to make it successful. 187 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: And it was moderately successful, but not at the level 188 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: I hoped for. And you know, I had to grieve that. 189 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: You know, I thought that would be you know, A 190 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: B and C. And it was, you know, maybe better 191 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,559 Speaker 1: than others. Other times it's more deeper stuff. You're looking 192 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: at past and saying, my goodness, I'm still carrying the 193 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: wounds of you know, needing to be a mediator between 194 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: my mom and my dad, you might think, or growing up, 195 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 1: you might say, I had a very volatile childhood and 196 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,679 Speaker 1: because of that, it just bread a lot of worry 197 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 1: or anxiety in me. And if I don't consciously deal 198 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: with that, I probably already bread some of that to 199 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: my kids. You might say, Man, I want to show them, 200 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: even as an adult, now that they're in the twenties 201 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: or thirties, that dad is still growing. And there's a 202 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: tendency I think in all of us to think chronological 203 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: time is going to magically heal the stuff inside you. 204 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: You know, we all know that. You know, you can 205 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,559 Speaker 1: be chronologically getting older, and you can be developmentally getting 206 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: more and more immature, or more and more grumpy, or 207 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: more and more self focused. So if you're not intentional 208 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: about it, the current of life, the current of your 209 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 1: own trajectory, is to often take you towards more self centeredness, 210 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: more miism, and those festering wounds. And last week the 211 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: church I talked about Mount Saint Helen's and what made 212 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: Mount Saint Helens so devastating is when the when the 213 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: explosion went off of that cryptodoom dome off the side 214 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: of the mountain a thousand years earlier, all these sulphuric 215 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: gases underneath the mountain had basically created a teflon plate. 216 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 1: So about sort of the mountain's just ready to slide off. 217 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: So that explosion triggered a slide that went back to 218 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: one thousand years older, and many geolgists called it a 219 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: sick mountain. It looked beautiful on the outside, but inside 220 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: there was just some sickness. There was some there was 221 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: unresolved sulfuric acid that had basically created a slide plane 222 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: that created devastation later. So it often it says, I 223 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: need to drill down, figure out what smells the batter 224 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: I'm here, I got the superic acid. The smell some 225 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: area of my life. I need to stop ignoring that. 226 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 2: Thank yeah, give me an example before I let you go. 227 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 2: We're talking about making a hierarchy of needs, and you 228 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 2: made the comment, look, something is going to be quote 229 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 2: unquote cheated right when your time, your energy, maybe your 230 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 2: money is limited. And how important I've often said, the 231 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 2: most powerful or one of the most powerful words in 232 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 2: the English language is two simple letters. No. You just 233 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 2: said the ability sometimes to say no. Give us an 234 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 2: example of something that if you're making a hierarchy of needs, 235 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 2: that you might find yourself having to say no to 236 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 2: where you weren't before. 237 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: Well, I think sometimes as hobbies during this particular season. 238 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: I love this hobby, but it's not as important as 239 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,439 Speaker 1: whatever My health that's as important as my marriage, is 240 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: not important as my time with my kids. It might be, Man, 241 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: I've been really good at managing controlling things. Man, it 242 00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 1: has really caused all kinds of anxiety and pressure delude 243 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: myself into thinking I can control people in circumstances, and 244 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:07,199 Speaker 1: I need to start prioritizing, surrender, letting go. Really, I 245 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: can't control things. It also could be as simple as 246 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: do you know. I was talking to an executive about 247 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: four months ago, and she was saying to me that 248 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: I only take certain requests for speaking engagements and for priorities, 249 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: things that are related to these topics. And she's very 250 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: well known, she's very sought after. What she says, of 251 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: the hundred things I could do, I say not to 252 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: things that are not This passion point related to specific 253 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: coaching for companies and related to this specific thing related 254 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: to marriages, because my husband and I went to a 255 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: difficult thing. We wrote a book about it, and we 256 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: want to help other marriages do what we did. So 257 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: that person knew their mission. They were qualified to do 258 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: a thousand things. What they said, I only say yes, 259 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,400 Speaker 1: to speak, engagements relate to a or B. I talked 260 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: to a church recently who they say yes to everything. 261 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: The whole staff has overwhelmed, all the organizations overwhelmed because 262 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: I say yes to everything, and I say, listen, you 263 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: don't really have a mission statement for your company or 264 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: for yourself if you don't know what you say no to, 265 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,839 Speaker 1: because when you know what you're good at, what you're 266 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: focused on, and even as a person like for me, 267 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 1: I could do a lot of things. I'm a generalist 268 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: very much so, and I enjoy that. But I'm trying 269 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: to organize my business life around what are the things 270 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: only I can do for the company, What are the 271 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: things I uniquely can do to advances forward? Then how 272 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: do I delegate the things that I could do but 273 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 1: other people are better at. So do you know what 274 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,439 Speaker 1: you uniquely can do? And say I want to prioritize 275 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 1: what I uniquely can do for my family, for my company, 276 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: for my kids. No one else can be my kid's 277 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: dad but me, no one else can may be maybe 278 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 1: the strategic thinker. You've got to be putting more and 279 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: more time into the strategic thinking, and you get aust 280 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: of the bureaucracy you're doing. I'm a creative teacher. I 281 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: need to spend lots of time creating and focusing on that. 282 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 1: So I got to say no to a lot of 283 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: meetings I might want to be part of, might want 284 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: to be important, but it's not going to help me 285 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 1: do what I uniquely can do for the sake my company. 286 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 2: Great stuff, U, pastor, Chad Hoven, Thank you so much, 287 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: as always for your time. We'll get to part four 288 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 2: in our series The Me I Want to Be next week. 289 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 2: Hope you have a great rest of your day and 290 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,199 Speaker 2: a great weekend, My friend you too, all right, Chad 291 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 2: Hoven kind enough to join us plain Glass, Stained Glass 292 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 2: each and every Wednesday right here on the Morning show. 293 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 2: That's great stuff, I mean great stuff. You don't have 294 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 2: to be some you know, Jesus believer, you don't have 295 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 2: to be some fuck. These are very very simple sorts 296 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 2: of things that we can do to be the me 297 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:37,880 Speaker 2: I want to be.