WEBVTT - Barmitzvah Etiquette 

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Mojoe.

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<v Speaker 2>In the morning, Cavin's son was invited to a bar mitzvah,

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<v Speaker 2>and Kevin has zero idea what to do for this.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, even down to the fact that it's a bar

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<v Speaker 3>mitzvah and not a bot mitzvah. I didn't even know

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<v Speaker 3>it was two separate things.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't know the names were different.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know I suck the same thing. To be

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<v Speaker 3>honest with you, I didn't even know. So it's a

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<v Speaker 3>coming of age celebration, right. Is it the same for

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<v Speaker 3>a girl? Is it the same thirteen years old? Or

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<v Speaker 3>is it different becoming? They're becoming I guess an adult? Yes, okay,

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<v Speaker 3>so the girls same thing thirteen years old?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Would you like me to put on my yama cu

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<v Speaker 1>for this one?

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<v Speaker 5>I got it, guys, I got.

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<v Speaker 1>It on right now exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>I stole it from a funeral for a friend of

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<v Speaker 2>mine off the dig.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, friend of mine's dad passed.

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<v Speaker 2>I went over to to the funeral and I you

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<v Speaker 2>have to.

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<v Speaker 6>Like that.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's interesting. I have a totally different note.

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<v Speaker 2>My best buddy in the world, Jeff saquat off, when

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<v Speaker 2>he lost his parents. I walked into the funeral there,

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<v Speaker 2>which is it's always at the same place. It's right

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<v Speaker 2>off of the lodge there that place, and I did

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<v Speaker 2>not know the funeral parlor place, and I did not

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<v Speaker 2>know if I was supposed to wear one or not.

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<v Speaker 2>And then when Leslie is Ishbia died, our former business

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<v Speaker 2>manager here at the radio station, I put one on

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<v Speaker 2>my head and I was told by I think it

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<v Speaker 2>might have been Jeff Luckoff, I did not need to

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<v Speaker 2>wear it.

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<v Speaker 3>He's like, you don't need to wear the thing. It

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<v Speaker 3>does just I need to wear one to the Barbays food. Well,

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<v Speaker 3>let's ask my friend Jeff Saqua. He's on the phone

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<v Speaker 3>with hold on, Jeff, Hi, Hi, how you doing.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not Jeff Walkoff though, No.

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<v Speaker 2>You're the You're the official, Jeff, Jeff Saqua. Jeff's been

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<v Speaker 2>a little under the weather's.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm good now, I'm good now, I'm under.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm fine.

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<v Speaker 2>Jeff is is hanging out not in Israel right now,

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<v Speaker 2>but in close to it, Palm Beach, Florida, Israel, America.

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<v Speaker 4>Jeff, can I know that would be that would be Boca.

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<v Speaker 2>But go ahead, quick question for you, Jeff, can you

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<v Speaker 2>answer as the official Jewish correspondent for the Mojo on

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<v Speaker 2>the Morning show.

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<v Speaker 1>Can you answer Kevin's bar mitzvah questions?

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<v Speaker 4>Sure?

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<v Speaker 1>So just just.

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<v Speaker 3>Give me a lay of the land to catch you

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<v Speaker 3>up to speed. Not sure how much you know. Josiah

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<v Speaker 3>got invited to a bar mitzvah and I've never been

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<v Speaker 3>invited to one.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never been to one. I don't know what.

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<v Speaker 6>It's just still it sounds like you still haven't been invited, keeping.

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<v Speaker 4>You know what? You know?

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<v Speaker 1>As interesting is I have it?

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<v Speaker 3>Because on the rs VP, after the mom told me

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<v Speaker 3>I needed to do that, I'll put two guests. And

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<v Speaker 3>she responded and said, this is actually like a kid's

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<v Speaker 3>only thing. We don't have enough room for people to

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<v Speaker 3>If you want to stand up and come, that's welcomed also,

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<v Speaker 3>But is it different or is it the same just

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<v Speaker 3>like you go to any regular thirteen year old birthday party?

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<v Speaker 1>Or do I need to do something or expect something

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<v Speaker 1>different from justin.

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<v Speaker 6>So the difference between a bar and about mess. They

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<v Speaker 6>have to check between the legs. A bar miss was

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<v Speaker 6>a boy and a bot mist was a girl, They're

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<v Speaker 6>the same thing. In the older days, women did not

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<v Speaker 6>have the botan mitzvahs. It kind of like progressed where like, hey,

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<v Speaker 6>we want botmisters too, and the girls would have sweet

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<v Speaker 6>sixteens instead of the bout mesphahs. So a lot of

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<v Speaker 6>religions are sort of chauvinistic if you study them. Right,

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<v Speaker 6>there was no female rabbis. Now they have female rabbis, correct,

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<v Speaker 6>are you not aware of that? I don't know if

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<v Speaker 6>they ever have female priests at some of these churches.

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<v Speaker 6>And that's where I don't know things. So essentially, a

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<v Speaker 6>lot of languages, Spanish, et cetera, they have different you know,

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<v Speaker 6>female and male for the same word, right, different us for.

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<v Speaker 4>The same words. So Jeff bought bought as a female

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<v Speaker 4>bars a boy.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, he got that part. So Jeff, this is the

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<v Speaker 2>part that that's interesting for him. He does not know

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<v Speaker 2>what happens at these things. And I think you're worried.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the reason why you put yourself in the r VP.

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<v Speaker 2>Was you wanted to make sure you were there for

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<v Speaker 2>jes You want to make sure I show up. I

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<v Speaker 2>have no idea what this is.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you bring like a gift? Like what's like do

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<v Speaker 1>you just bring a gift card?

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<v Speaker 6>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>What do you what do you do there?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 6>So well that's essentially up to you. But generally speaking,

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<v Speaker 6>people bring gifts. If you're invited, it would say your

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<v Speaker 6>name on the invitation, not just Josiah. When my kids

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<v Speaker 6>had their events, a lot of parents showed up that

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<v Speaker 6>weren't invited, okay because they didn't know. Of course, of

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<v Speaker 6>course I said them, and they wouldn't leave. But and

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<v Speaker 6>it's it's a America has made it a very big deal.

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<v Speaker 6>It's supposed to be a more religious thing. But I

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<v Speaker 6>think if you talk to a kid, you're supposed to

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<v Speaker 6>continue your studies in the Jewish religion. Most kids quit

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<v Speaker 6>after their bar messva.

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<v Speaker 5>I mean some parents drop money on these parties, like

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<v Speaker 5>these parties over the.

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<v Speaker 6>Yes, it's become some of the one up thing and

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<v Speaker 6>depends how you want to handle it. And what I

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<v Speaker 6>can't get over people that borrow money or get bank

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<v Speaker 6>loans they have a party is the most ridiculous thing

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<v Speaker 6>in the world.

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<v Speaker 4>And this is the essence of what it's all about.

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<v Speaker 4>So you would go to the service. You're allowed to

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<v Speaker 4>go with the service.

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<v Speaker 6>And like when when Mojo said he came to my

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<v Speaker 6>in my my parents' funerals, you know you don't have

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<v Speaker 6>to if you're not Jewish, you don't need to wear it.

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<v Speaker 4>And I went to my first church. I didn't know

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<v Speaker 4>what to do. I took communion and I called my father,

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<v Speaker 4>what did you do? I've never been I was an adult.

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<v Speaker 4>I went to church the first time.

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<v Speaker 1>Thought it was kind of fun, you know. But Joe sia,

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<v Speaker 1>it doesn't have to go to the service, right, just

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<v Speaker 1>a party.

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<v Speaker 6>Doesn't have to go to service. I got to look

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<v Speaker 6>bring me going to a different side of my rolegion.

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<v Speaker 6>I find it to be very interesting. Yeah, and then

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<v Speaker 6>when you go the third fourth time, I think they're

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<v Speaker 6>all boring.

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<v Speaker 4>I hate to say it, but you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Jeff you you First off, I think keV was

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<v Speaker 2>freaking out when I told him. Joe went to Abbott

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<v Speaker 2>Middle School in West Bloomfield.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of Joams. I think he went to one year.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like forty five bar Mitzvah's or something like that,

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<v Speaker 2>or and Bob Minzfeest and Jeff's. The one for Ian

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<v Speaker 2>was the best bar Mitzvah though that uh that Joe

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<v Speaker 2>went to what was it like? Well back when the

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<v Speaker 2>Pistols played at the Palace. It was at the Palace

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<v Speaker 2>of Auburn h at the palace.

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<v Speaker 4>I try to keep to twenty two thousand people had

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<v Speaker 4>cut and.

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<v Speaker 1>He had Mason do the intro.

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<v Speaker 4>You are no.

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<v Speaker 1>It was amazing.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>See this this was that MTV show Sweet sixteen was

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<v Speaker 1>all about moments like.

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<v Speaker 6>I tried to use my brain and get as much

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<v Speaker 6>done for and uh, Mojo was kind enough to when

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<v Speaker 6>back in the day when you guys played music and

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<v Speaker 6>celebrities or people coming to break their new album whatever,

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<v Speaker 6>we got a lot of sniffs to put into a video.

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<v Speaker 4>And do you remember what Miley Cyrus did?

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<v Speaker 1>Well we will explain that again.

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<v Speaker 4>Miley, Miley Cyrus. She said, you know what did you say?

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<v Speaker 4>Like masletop, I go what she goes? What did you say?

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<v Speaker 4>What did you say? And on your so you know

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<v Speaker 4>what the.

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<v Speaker 6>Black Eyed Tea song and then she said, did the

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<v Speaker 6>f bomb a lot?

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<v Speaker 4>Happy birthday? Do you remember that?

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<v Speaker 1>I did you keep it?

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<v Speaker 4>Of course?

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>He loved it all right, So hold on, wow, we

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<v Speaker 1>all got the We got the flem coming right now.

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<v Speaker 4>Hold on.

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<v Speaker 2>Alex wants to comment on this one. Alex kavs Son

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<v Speaker 2>is invited to a bar Mitz find. He's looking for advice.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, So when I went to my cousin to bar Mitzvah.

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<v Speaker 8>This was a while ago now, but I was told

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<v Speaker 8>to bring to give cash, that that was the most common,

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<v Speaker 8>and to give it an increments of thirteen. So I

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<v Speaker 8>don't know if that is still a thing, but cash

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<v Speaker 8>was I think very much appreciated. And the increments of

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<v Speaker 8>thirteen I think is just because it's a thirteenth Bristate party.

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<v Speaker 6>But I'd have to check it more more more eighteen

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<v Speaker 6>because a five is eighteen and it means good luck.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, I remember eighteen. Yes, Angela, what's up? Angela? Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>good morning morning.

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<v Speaker 9>So since my family moved here in twenty fourteen, we've

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<v Speaker 9>been invited to quite a few and just recently this year.

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<v Speaker 9>So jed Saiah have to dress to impress unless there

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<v Speaker 9>is a theme, and if you bring less than a

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<v Speaker 9>hundred dollars in that cards, you're going to look like

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<v Speaker 9>a cheap bulfo. I'm gonna be honest, No, it's just

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<v Speaker 9>like a wedding. They pay out so much money. You're

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<v Speaker 9>going to give amount of money. It's what you would

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<v Speaker 9>think that they spent on you to be there. And

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<v Speaker 9>double check to see if he's if he was invited

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<v Speaker 9>to the ceremony or not because not all the kids

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<v Speaker 9>are invited.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I remember this.

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<v Speaker 4>This is.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay is the official Rabbi of the Mojo in the

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<v Speaker 6>morning show. You you're always invited to the service, Yes,

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<v Speaker 6>and it would be odd if you weren't. And number two,

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<v Speaker 6>whatever you give is fine. There's really no pressure and

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<v Speaker 6>kids aren't expected. No family, friends and relatives.

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<v Speaker 4>Always screw you. That's neither here nor there. I knew

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<v Speaker 4>I should have invited that guy anyway.

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<v Speaker 6>So you you if someone's close, you give more. It's

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<v Speaker 6>like a wedding if you're you know, distant. We've all

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<v Speaker 6>been invited to How the hell did I get invited?

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<v Speaker 6>But it's more of he's celebrating with his classmates And

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<v Speaker 6>I'm I'm positive the family or the young man is

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<v Speaker 6>not going.

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<v Speaker 4>To care what you give him. So what wouldn't worry

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<v Speaker 4>about what's going on?

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<v Speaker 6>Remember a good old thought accounts that's still involved.

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<v Speaker 4>Don't worry.

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<v Speaker 1>So Ellie, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 4>Jewish.

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<v Speaker 7>I am, I am, my name is Ilanit, I'm from

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<v Speaker 7>Israel and I am also Jewish. I live in America

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<v Speaker 7>right now.

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<v Speaker 4>Jewish, yes, And I want.

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<v Speaker 7>To tell you that bou meet vine. Israel is so different.

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<v Speaker 7>You do bring cash, you do bring money, but in

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<v Speaker 7>America it's different. You could bring anything and it will

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<v Speaker 7>be wonderful. And the and the most Jewish rabbi is right.

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<v Speaker 7>It is eighteen dollars. It's in It's basically the symbol

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<v Speaker 7>of life. It's like the letters in Hebrew symbolizes like life.

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<v Speaker 7>So therefore life in mathematically it's eighteen. And the other

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<v Speaker 7>thing is very important. I feel it depends again if

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<v Speaker 7>it's Orthodox Jewish or if it's Reformed Jewish. Let me

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<v Speaker 7>tell you the difference. If you go to a bar

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<v Speaker 7>mitzva that is Orthodox. For instance, I'm Jewish Orthodox. So

0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:20.160
<v Speaker 7>you go, you go for the mitzvah for the good geeds,

0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:23.640
<v Speaker 7>So you bring whatever, and and it's very important. A

0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:29.439
<v Speaker 7>greeting card that says Mazaltov, Mazotov, and and just you know,

0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:32.640
<v Speaker 7>go to CVS. They have plenty of them, and then

0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:39.640
<v Speaker 7>bring the gifts inside. Now the other thing, yeah, Mazotov card.

0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:45.560
<v Speaker 7>And of course you can bring a gift card or cash, yes,

0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:48.640
<v Speaker 7>and then you can and then you can bring If

0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:51.240
<v Speaker 7>it's a Jewish Orthodox, then you of course are going

0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.600
<v Speaker 7>to services. It's called you're going to hear the Barmesva

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.439
<v Speaker 7>boy giving a sermon.

0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:02.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm amazed any kids who I always looked at that

0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:04.880
<v Speaker 2>were friends of Joe and Jacob's when they went to

0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:07.960
<v Speaker 2>these things, and I thought these boys were dumb mother efforts,

0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:10.360
<v Speaker 2>and these kids memorized so much. I'm like, these kids

0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.240
<v Speaker 2>are smart kids. I couldn't believe it. Man, they were amazing.

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.840
<v Speaker 2>It's I couldn't do it. I couldn't be Jewish because

0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.559
<v Speaker 2>I would I could never memorize all that stuff. I've

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:23.840
<v Speaker 2>made my first communion, my confirmation. Literally, I was as

0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:26.000
<v Speaker 2>dumb as rocks. Ellie. Can I ask a question of you?

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:31.600
<v Speaker 2>Of course, it's the question that Rabbi Jeff Sakwell would

0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:32.199
<v Speaker 2>like to ask you.

0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Are you single? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, Jeff,

0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:41.960
<v Speaker 1>as every woman, Are you single? Ellie? We got money

0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:50.240
<v Speaker 1>in the family. What does broksh mean?

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.520
<v Speaker 7>Means blessed and means God, blessed be God.

0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:59.959
<v Speaker 2>All right, thank you, Ellie for the call. We appreciate.

0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.600
<v Speaker 2>Kelly wants to comment. Would you want to say, Kelly.

0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.559
<v Speaker 9>This actually sounds just like in the Mexican culture, like

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.360
<v Speaker 9>what it seemes to me is party.

0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.960
<v Speaker 8>It's it's literally like for the kids.

0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:15.559
<v Speaker 6>To have fun.

0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.240
<v Speaker 9>And it just seems like Josiah just is going to

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:23.080
<v Speaker 9>be something definitely different and it's going to be really

0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.520
<v Speaker 9>eye opening, I think, and I think he's going to

0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.679
<v Speaker 9>have a really great time. Like it really sounds just

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 9>in our culture like a cantina, Like he's there becoming

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:36.840
<v Speaker 9>a young person like a young woman or a young

0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:37.400
<v Speaker 9>man and.

0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:38.520
<v Speaker 4>They have a huge event.

0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.760
<v Speaker 6>I mean just like they said, it costs just like

0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:41.880
<v Speaker 6>it with a wedding, Like.

0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:48.199
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, can I tell you?

0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:53.640
<v Speaker 2>After Joe went to uh Ian's bar Mitzvah, Jeff's son,

0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.440
<v Speaker 2>and then Jordan Letterman's one over Lifetime Fitness, Joe wanted

0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.120
<v Speaker 2>to convert to judaism Man.

0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.040
<v Speaker 1>He was like, I want to have some fun. Hold on,

0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Raphael wants to give you a comment, keV.

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:06.199
<v Speaker 4>What's that?

0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:06.760
<v Speaker 1>Raphael?

0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.679
<v Speaker 4>Hey? keV? To the to the crowber's man, get you

0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:12.840
<v Speaker 4>that good old fresh bag and great?

0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.760
<v Speaker 1>Okay, hey job?

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 2>How would how would the family look at him if

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:22.640
<v Speaker 2>he brought eighteen grapes?

0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:27.200
<v Speaker 4>Would be great?

0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:27.480
<v Speaker 2>Well?

0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:29.000
<v Speaker 4>He asked you, where's the party at?

0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:32.120
<v Speaker 1>keV uh and a country club?

0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 4>Okay, oh okay? A lot of the temple's country clause,

0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:37.680
<v Speaker 4>et cetera.

0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:41.200
<v Speaker 6>Not unusual. But he'll have a great time. And it's

0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:44.320
<v Speaker 6>he should go the service because the young man is

0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 6>going to read out of the Torah and that's what

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 6>he's and that's what it's all about.

0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 1>How long ares.

0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.080
<v Speaker 6>Depends if your reform, like I have reform which I

0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 6>call Jewish light or to be there for hours versus Yeah,

0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.000
<v Speaker 6>and the kids all sit in the section and you

0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:05.360
<v Speaker 6>have like the uh you know, the parent kids will

0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:07.320
<v Speaker 6>start talking and you'll get the dirty look, you know,

0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 6>just like school.

0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.320
<v Speaker 1>If you don't get invited to the sermon part, does

0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:12.200
<v Speaker 1>that mean something?

0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 4>No, No, you're you're the whole service.

0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:16.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm about to check the.

0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:25.320
<v Speaker 6>Reform with like there's reform conservative and Orthodox and their there.

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.160
<v Speaker 4>If it's reformed, it will be short. If it's the

0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 4>other two come a little late.

0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:35.520
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Amanda, last comment here on Kevin uh and this

0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:37.520
<v Speaker 2>son with the Mizpah.

0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:40.840
<v Speaker 7>I honestly have I think you could wing it.

0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.160
<v Speaker 4>You just got to remember not to be quoting Kanye.

0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:54.080
<v Speaker 3>We apologize, all right, Thank you, Thank you, Jeffrey to.

0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:56.200
<v Speaker 4>Love you guys.

0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:56.760
<v Speaker 3>You b