1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:00,720 Speaker 1: Listen. 2 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 2: Sometimes we have super happy conversations sometimes maybe not necessarily. 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 2: This isn't like a sad conversation. This is more so 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 2: like I need help in my relationship type of conversation. 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 2: Just in case I didn't say it, We're live on 6 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 2: ninety three three FLZ help me out eight hundred four 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: O nine ninety three ninety three. So this has been 8 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 2: kind of a tough, like last week and a half 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:32,559 Speaker 2: with my fiance and I Alyssa, and we sent each 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 2: other a lot of text messages this morning and we 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: we kind of got in a little bit of a 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: big argument over the weekend. And she's stressed and I'm stressed. 13 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 2: But her biggest thing, and I totally see her problem 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 2: with me, is that like she feels like I don't 15 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 2: listen to her. She feels like when she comes home, 16 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 2: she's got like eight thousand things to tell me about 17 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 2: her day and work and all all of that, and 18 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 2: I just sit there on my phone the all third time, 19 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,320 Speaker 2: or I'm playing video games and I'm like oh uh, huh, 20 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 2: oh oh, I make a lot of noises oh uh, 21 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 2: And then she'd be like what did I just say. 22 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, I know what you say you 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 2: know what I'm why And then I get mad at her. 24 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 2: What do you mean you think I'm not listening? I 25 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 2: know what you said, Well tell me what I said. 26 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: I'm not repeating you. That's redundant. We're wasting time. Don't 27 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 2: you want to tell me about your day? She'd keep 28 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 2: put the game down. I'm in the middle of the game. 29 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: I can't pause it. I feel like I'm not really 30 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 2: present lately. 31 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, why can't you just put your phone nor? I 32 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: don't know you need to. 33 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 3: You know that she come home at the same time 34 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 3: every day, Yeah, okay, so you should know. Like I 35 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 3: have between maybe three and four, I can be on 36 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 3: my phone, but when my fiance comes home, let me 37 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 3: at least give her an hour and a half of 38 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 3: my undivided attention. Yeah. 39 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I get that. And I love her also, 40 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 2: by the way, can't wait to marry her. Like this 41 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 2: week has kind of sucked. Like we had a really good, 42 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 2: uh like weekend in some moments, but then on like 43 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 2: a kind of an ssie weekend, and like last night 44 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 2: I kind of like was like a little mad, and 45 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: then I realized, like I think I'm the problem, and uh, 46 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 2: and I don't like that because I feel bad because 47 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: I feel like, too, she's having like a really stressful 48 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,119 Speaker 2: week with like work already, so when she's coming home, 49 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm probably causing her to not really 50 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 2: have a uh. 51 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: Break of the stress. 52 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 3: The good thing about it is yourself aware. You're You're 53 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 3: very aware of like not giving her that attention. So 54 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 3: now you're working on trying to get her attention when 55 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 3: I need to figure it out. 56 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 2: Hey, Jocelyn, Hey, you say that you relate to this 57 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 2: very much. 58 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 4: So, yes, I work in healthcare and my boyfriend does 59 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 4: not work in healthcare, and I come home, Man, I'll 60 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 4: have a very hard day at work and it's like 61 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 4: I just want to vent and we sometimes have a 62 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 4: disconnection with that. But you find different outlets too, You 63 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 4: find different outlets, especially in a relationship. 64 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: What do you mean by that? 65 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:18,239 Speaker 4: Like, I'll have a crazy story of something absolutely nuts, 66 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 4: and all I can think about is coming home and 67 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 4: talking to someone about it. And I can't cannot talk 68 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 4: about it with him because he gets very he gets 69 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 4: very grossed out with some of it he's and some 70 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 4: of it is very intense. 71 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 2: So yeah, unfortunately I don't have that excuse she works. 72 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. Maybe she needs an outlet. 73 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I feel like I need to be 74 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 2: that outlet. And I don't know what's necessarily going on 75 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 2: right now where I just like, I don't know tired. 76 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 2: I'm not tired of her, I'm not tired of the stories. 77 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 2: I'm not tired of anything other than I'm tired. Does 78 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 2: that make sense? 79 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? 80 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 4: I get it. 81 00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I got to work on it because at 82 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 2: the end of the day too, Like I don't look 83 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 2: at it as like I'm right, she's wrong. I genuinely 84 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 2: believe that I am like kind of like super in 85 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 2: the wrong Luna. Yes, Hi, you've gone through this as well. 86 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes you gotta sacrifice something. And it sounds like 87 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 5: you are in a part in your life where you're 88 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 5: trying to figure things out maybe and you just don't 89 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 5: want to express that out loud. 90 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, for sure. I think about all the time. 91 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 2: Like with the show, they do this weird thing where 92 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 2: we have to like define ourselves. I don't even know 93 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 2: who I am, Like, I still feel like I have 94 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 2: no idea who I am, Like I know the things 95 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 2: that I want and like I want her and I 96 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 2: want to have a family with her and all that. 97 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,839 Speaker 2: But then when I think about the family, I go like, 98 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 2: oh God, like that freaks me out. Oh I'm freaked out. 99 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 2: The unknown life scares right well. 100 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 5: I mean, if sometimes you gotta eat, I mean, if 101 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 5: you're taking a break, your take in a break, but 102 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 5: let it be a break of rebuilding. Don't don't let 103 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 5: it go or just let it go past. You gotta 104 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,280 Speaker 5: invest like the game. You're so investing, you like, you'll 105 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 5: play the game. Just that's your outlet. Her outlet is 106 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 5: talking to you. So maybe you might have to find 107 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 5: another outlet or try talking to her when you you 108 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 5: know you're feeling some type of way, just take a 109 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 5: moment to talk to her. Maybe she can help you 110 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 5: figure that out. You love her so much. She could 111 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 5: be your person to help you figure out who you are. 112 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: Could be Yeah, but. 113 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 5: The game, the game got you. 114 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: I appreciate you. Yeah, I know, I know. 115 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of just been a it's been a 116 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 2: kind of a bad week in my relationship, and I 117 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 2: just think it's it's the me thing. 118 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: I'm kind of a problem. 119 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 2: Hey, Beca, I said, just in case people are turning 120 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 2: on the radio, I just uh, you know, I don't 121 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 2: feel like I've been the best fiance lately. Yeah, I 122 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 2: definitely don't think I've been like really like actively listening 123 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 2: to everything that's going on. 124 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 3: You know. 125 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 6: Okay, Joe with me and my husband always been married 126 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 6: eleven years, and we kind of fall into this trap 127 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 6: a lot. And so we recently were going through like 128 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 6: this couple's group and someone mentioned, and I don't know 129 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 6: if you've heard it before, the cycle of love and respect. 130 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 6: So men want to be respected and women want to 131 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 6: feel loved. And so if you're not showing her your 132 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 6: love by putting her phone down and just listening to 133 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 6: her for that little bit of time, she's going to 134 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 6: feel like she doesn't respect you, and so it kind 135 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 6: of breaks the cycle of she wants to feel loved, 136 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 6: you want to feel respected, but you're breaking that and 137 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 6: so it makes it really tricky. So if I think 138 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 6: if you spend that time just making her a priority 139 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 6: and making her feel loved, when she comes home, she's 140 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 6: going to show you all that love and respect back. 141 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 6: And so just trying to be mindful and make sure 142 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 6: that you're respecting her and showing her love, and she'll 143 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 6: do that in the same and you return. 144 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 2: You know, my problem is too, I'd throw money whatever 145 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 2: that happens, like, well, here, take my credit card and 146 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 2: go get a massage. 147 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: You deserve a massage. And then finally last night she 148 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: was like, why. 149 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 2: Do you keep doing that same thing? 150 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 6: Yeah, and I feel like when I get mad at you, 151 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 6: I have to I have to do all these good 152 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 6: things to make up for it. And I'm like, but really, 153 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 6: what's important is that you don't do it again. Is 154 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 6: that you show me that you love me so much 155 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 6: that we're not going to have this conversation again. I 156 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 6: don't want you to buy me flowers or a massage. 157 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 6: I want to not have this talk again. And I 158 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 6: want you to show me that you love me so 159 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 6: much that I'm worthy of not having this happen. Mean, 160 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 6: it's just something to keep in mind. You know, you're 161 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 6: going to get married. It's the rest of your life, man, 162 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 6: So maybe. 163 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, And this is supposed to be like the 164 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 1: super happy time. H Yeah. 165 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 6: You gotta you gotta prioritize things. And it's she's important 166 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 6: to you, make her, make her no doubt. 167 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, well she is. She's my favorite. She's my favorite. 168 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 2: I need to act like it. But we're gonna go 169 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:18,559 Speaker 2: on a little vacation, so I think it's well, it's okay. 170 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 1: He doesn't do that thing that I like. Anything stops 171 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: ever since I started seeing Rodina. 172 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 2: But I think that thank you guys for letting me 173 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: be a little selfish with that time 174 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: For all of us.