WEBVTT - Smith's Fart Machine

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Mojo in the Morning Show eight four to

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<v Speaker 1>four Mojo Live text nine five five zero zero. We've

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<v Speaker 1>had a topic on our board here for some time now,

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<v Speaker 1>and every time it gets on the board, for some reason,

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<v Speaker 1>it never ends up.

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<v Speaker 2>Getting on the show.

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<v Speaker 1>Today it's getting on the show, and it's the topic

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<v Speaker 1>about Smith's infamous fart machine.

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<v Speaker 3>Hand I gotta get it.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you have it?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you confiscate it for him?

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<v Speaker 3>They can't play this is part of the story. But okay,

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<v Speaker 3>so Smith, I don't know where he got this from,

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<v Speaker 3>has this fart machine with a remote control. So here's

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<v Speaker 3>the fart machine. Here's the remote control. This is legit.

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<v Speaker 3>The noises sound very real for your hand. You don't

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<v Speaker 3>you don't know what kind of heart you're getting when

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<v Speaker 3>you turn it. Oh okay, pretty.

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<v Speaker 2>Good, sound like Kevin. Yeah that was a wet one.

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<v Speaker 3>But you have a remote control, so the two heart

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<v Speaker 3>machine and the remote control can be separate. So this

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<v Speaker 3>was like a week or two go down. I'm running

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<v Speaker 3>errands with Lucy and Smith. Smith's eight years old, and

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<v Speaker 3>unbeknownst to me, he threw it in my tote bag.

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<v Speaker 3>He threw this part of it, the fart machine in

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<v Speaker 3>my tote bag and he had the remote control. So

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<v Speaker 3>we're like, we had to go to Kroger. I had

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<v Speaker 3>to stop at Alta. I had to go to Target.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm in Target and I'm checking out and the sweet

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<v Speaker 3>cashier who I always have, is letting me know that

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<v Speaker 3>her sixteen year old dog had just had two seizures

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<v Speaker 3>and died the week before. And I know that she

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<v Speaker 3>has the same dog that I do, my dog sixteen

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<v Speaker 3>and her dog sixteen, And she's telling me about the

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<v Speaker 3>dog dying, and I'm feeling terrible for her, and the

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<v Speaker 3>entire time, Smith's clearly not paying attention to the conversation.

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<v Speaker 3>And also, remember I don't know the fart machine is

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<v Speaker 3>in my tote bag. So as this lady is telling

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<v Speaker 3>me this story about her dog dying, that's happening, she

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<v Speaker 3>thinks I spit my pants and I'm looking at him

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<v Speaker 3>like stupid.

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<v Speaker 5>You know, He's like he had a seizure, and then

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<v Speaker 5>he had another seizure and then I finally just he

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<v Speaker 5>was I had to wrap him in a blanket. And

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<v Speaker 5>that's happening the whole time I was we walked out

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<v Speaker 5>the store, I was like, give me.

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<v Speaker 2>The former did she flinch at all, like did she

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<v Speaker 2>or she reacted?

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<v Speaker 3>To be honest with you, she didn't react. She's a

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<v Speaker 3>little older.

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<v Speaker 2>She kept going, so I.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't know if she couldn't hear or write.

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<v Speaker 2>And I both share one thing. Not the dog hilarious

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<v Speaker 2>for that, it's.

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<v Speaker 3>Like a farten, like a far She was telling me

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<v Speaker 3>about her dog that just died, and you're ripping them.

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<v Speaker 1>So you have both pieces right now? Did you confiscate

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<v Speaker 1>them the remote from him? So that's why I have

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<v Speaker 1>the remote? Okay, so this had been in my bag.

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<v Speaker 1>I just didn't know that it was. I have so

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<v Speaker 1>much crap in that bag. But my favorite thing, my

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<v Speaker 1>favorite thing is when a mom confiscates something from their child.

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<v Speaker 1>It is no different than if a police officer confiscates

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<v Speaker 1>the evidence.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean? Like that, like you probably have.

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<v Speaker 1>Over the years, and I'm sure most moms listening to

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<v Speaker 1>this have taken something away from their child. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>always the plan of where do you keep it?

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<v Speaker 2>Now?

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<v Speaker 1>I know it's that ginormous bag that you carry every

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<v Speaker 1>single day. How do you not have to go see

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<v Speaker 1>doctor Coogan and get your body?

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<v Speaker 3>I probably should switching them out.

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<v Speaker 6>I would take something from Josiah. One time it was

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<v Speaker 6>his Amazon Alexa. I don't know how old he was.

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<v Speaker 6>He was super young, but I don't know. If he

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<v Speaker 6>saw it on YouTube, he'd be like, Alexa, play the

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<v Speaker 6>song that never ends and it's literally a song like

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<v Speaker 6>this is a song that I never beat that over

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<v Speaker 6>and over and he would just not. I'd be like,

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<v Speaker 6>Alexa off, he'd requiet for two seconds. He'd be like

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<v Speaker 6>Alexa plane, I never I went in there.

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<v Speaker 2>Love that thing so fat? Oh my god, do y'all

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<v Speaker 2>give it back?

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<v Speaker 7>Because I feel like sometimes I know that my mom

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<v Speaker 7>would take stuff and it would just disappear.

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<v Speaker 2>Like if it was an annoying toy or something I

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<v Speaker 2>never happened to you. Yeah, exactly, Like.

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<v Speaker 3>He'll get this back today, I don't really care.

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<v Speaker 1>It never becomes a thing where if he doesn't ask

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<v Speaker 1>for it back, you just throw it away or something.

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<v Speaker 3>There are some things that I throw, like messy things

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<v Speaker 3>that I confiscate. I'll throw away. Slime, you know they

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<v Speaker 3>needo is like a thing. Right now, every parent understands.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like a I don't even know how to describe it.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like a It's like slime but encased in like

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<v Speaker 3>a hard need I don't know substance, and they were

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<v Speaker 3>cutting them open to see what is inside, and that

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<v Speaker 3>was just making a mess. So I'll toss those that

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<v Speaker 3>kind of stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>But you cannot understand how many times markers have ended

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<v Speaker 1>up in garbage cans because you find markers and things

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<v Speaker 1>and they may say they're washable, They're not always washable,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, Like they're not always clean

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<v Speaker 1>clean markers. Nothing would drive me more crazy than that markers,

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<v Speaker 1>markers and stuff. Or if we had like the donation

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<v Speaker 1>pile that was there, somehow things would get in the

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<v Speaker 1>middle of the donation pile, loud toys and.

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<v Speaker 3>Things like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Does this happen, by the way, I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>anybody else does this, if parents do this, if they

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<v Speaker 1>confiscate I'm sure you guys do call us and tell us.

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<v Speaker 1>But also does this happen where you confiscate your significant

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<v Speaker 1>others things too? Like do you ever like throw away

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<v Speaker 1>anything that you've seen them wear before, like your husband

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<v Speaker 1>or boyfriend, And you're like, that is the worst thing ever.

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<v Speaker 1>The mysteriously in the laundry, you're going to get lost

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<v Speaker 1>or damaged.

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<v Speaker 3>What was the most annoying, being annoying that we had

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<v Speaker 3>had really bad jeans, like just old man jeans.

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<v Speaker 2>We had to get rid of these, not like his genes.

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<v Speaker 3>Blessed I blessed somebody else with those.

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<v Speaker 1>Gens A four mojo live eight for four six six

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<v Speaker 1>five six five four eight text ninety five five zero zero.

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<v Speaker 2>What's up, Sydney? How you doing? Hi?

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<v Speaker 7>Good morning, guys, Good morning.

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<v Speaker 5>I was just talking about.

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<v Speaker 8>Confiscating from my daughter.

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<v Speaker 6>She and her friends went to the mall.

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<v Speaker 8>They're thirteen fourteen year old girls, and she got this shirt.

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<v Speaker 5>They all got match and help.

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<v Speaker 8>It's the shirt that.

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<v Speaker 4>Said I Love Hot dads.

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<v Speaker 8>And he would always try to wear it to school,

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<v Speaker 8>always wear everywhere. And everyone's looking at her like I'm like,

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<v Speaker 8>oh my gosh, I had to just take the shirt from.

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<v Speaker 2>Her, and again, how old is your daughter? Thirteen? Oh

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<v Speaker 2>my gosh. Wow, yikes.

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<v Speaker 1>They they sell that to thirteen year olds at the

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<v Speaker 1>at the story of that to me, like, and it's weird.

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<v Speaker 1>It's weird because I think there is a level of

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<v Speaker 1>like your sons with hot moms, But for some reason,

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<v Speaker 1>it seems weirder when it's I love hot dads and

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<v Speaker 1>it's a girl wearing it. There's a double standard, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's understandable. So that's crazy.

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<v Speaker 9>Yes, So I had to content ska and I hit

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<v Speaker 9>it from her and she got it back, so I

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<v Speaker 9>really literally just had to throw it away.

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<v Speaker 4>Man.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, thank you for the call. I appreciate it.

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<v Speaker 1>That had to be whate hot topic. That's also saying

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<v Speaker 1>they always have it. What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Angela?

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<v Speaker 9>Hi, good morning everyone, and.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi. So what I did?

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<v Speaker 9>He was he was my current husband, but he's my

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<v Speaker 9>hed So one day he went to the store and

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<v Speaker 9>bought a bottle of gin in a pack of peanuts,

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<v Speaker 9>and I was so sick and tired of him drinking,

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<v Speaker 9>so I hit the liquor and the peanuts. And a

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<v Speaker 9>year later, I happened to be going through a pair

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<v Speaker 9>of shoes that I was giving away and found the liquor.

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<v Speaker 9>And because he kept saying, I know I bought some looker,

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<v Speaker 9>I know, I bought a bottle of gin. And I

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<v Speaker 9>was like, I didn't see it. I don't know where

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<v Speaker 9>it is, and he was like, I know, I just

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<v Speaker 9>came in the house with it and he was just

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<v Speaker 9>sitting there trying to figure it out. And a year later,

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<v Speaker 9>it's in your shoe by the bottle that I hit

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<v Speaker 9>it in a pack box the shoes that I was

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<v Speaker 9>literally like off study and it was like a bottle

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<v Speaker 9>of gin. I said, yeah, he had different.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you end up drinking it? No, I don't drink.

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<v Speaker 9>I don't drink, but he was drinking. And then I

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<v Speaker 9>have another one, my son. When I was taking toys,

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<v Speaker 9>he would find random things like paper tower roll and drink.

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<v Speaker 9>Conversed with the little kids.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he will find his bread.

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<v Speaker 9>Up just like, Okay, so you're gonna play with the

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<v Speaker 9>paper tower roll.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's a toy.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for the call. I appreciate you. Take care

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<v Speaker 2>of yourself.

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<v Speaker 9>You're welcome.

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<v Speaker 2>Bye, Jamie, what's going on? Jamie?

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<v Speaker 4>Hey Mojo? I love you guys, first time, long time.

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<v Speaker 2>Both. Yeah, what's going on? How are you okay?

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<v Speaker 4>Good?

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<v Speaker 3>Good?

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<v Speaker 5>So?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, I took my kids DS because well he got

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<v Speaker 4>bad and I took it put it up forgot where

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<v Speaker 4>I put it. Months later, my kids see the neighbor

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<v Speaker 4>was he thought his DS, so he took it and

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<v Speaker 4>I let him do it. And then later like my

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<v Speaker 4>my daughter was cleaning her room and it was on

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<v Speaker 4>the back of her door. The actual ds, and I

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<v Speaker 4>was like, oh my god, what do we do? We

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<v Speaker 4>and we didn't know nothing about nothing, and now, oh

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<v Speaker 4>my god, it was so mortified.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, the last lady would

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<v Speaker 1>hide him in her shoes or in the shoe boxes.

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<v Speaker 1>Where was your hiding spot for all the stuff?

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<v Speaker 4>You would confiscate anywhere and everywhere? Yeah, you would everything

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<v Speaker 4>is it gets even better? I'm blind?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, really like legitimately blind or just wow,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, how great would that be?

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<v Speaker 4>And Mom's well, yeah, so my kids got really sneaky,

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<v Speaker 4>so I had to really hide it good because they

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<v Speaker 4>could see it obviously if I, you know, had it

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<v Speaker 4>in the normal spot. So yeah, I just started, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>in their own stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Why didn't your kids just turned the volume down on

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<v Speaker 1>the d S and be my mom, I'm not playing

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<v Speaker 1>with my da.

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<v Speaker 2>She ain't death. Well, I know, turn the volume down though,

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<v Speaker 2>you pull it off.

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<v Speaker 1>Over smart now, I know, I know, but turn the

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<v Speaker 1>where A head said, Mom's not going to notice here,

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<v Speaker 1>blind Mom?

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on? Chelsea?

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<v Speaker 7>Oh are you uys familiar with uh junk journaling?

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<v Speaker 5>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, I'm not.

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<v Speaker 7>My daughter's almost ten. So basically it's like a collage,

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<v Speaker 7>but it's just from junk, like, uh, things from the

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<v Speaker 7>recycle or clipping from a magazine and you take like

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<v Speaker 7>a klag but it's in a journal. So my daughter

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<v Speaker 7>is like constantly going through like the recycle bin to

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<v Speaker 7>like clip things out interesting. Yeah, literally any thing and

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<v Speaker 7>feeling that day or like you know, it has to

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<v Speaker 7>do with like food she likes or whatever. So I'm

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<v Speaker 7>constantly picking up like clippings of recycling all.

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<v Speaker 2>Over my head.

0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Your kid will junk journal, but not pick up the

0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.440
<v Speaker 1>crap on her floor of her bedroom exactly.

0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:20.040
<v Speaker 2>It's Uh, that's crazy.

0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:23.959
<v Speaker 1>Encouraging should make it a game, say say we're gonna

0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:25.520
<v Speaker 1>journal this, pick up your.

0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:29.360
<v Speaker 2>Gosh darn stuff. That's crazy.

0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:34.400
<v Speaker 1>Wow, that's what I'm trying to behave flent.

0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:35.720
<v Speaker 2>What's up, hi, April?

0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.440
<v Speaker 8>So I talked it because Xbox not a little while

0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:53.120
<v Speaker 8>a few years ago, and I had a passive walk.

0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:56.400
<v Speaker 8>So you just needed like a coin or something n

0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:00.640
<v Speaker 8>locket Yeah, while does that works? They took their and

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:01.040
<v Speaker 8>then they.

0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:02.920
<v Speaker 4>Would sneak it back into the room before.

0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.480
<v Speaker 8>I got home because they knew my schedule. So I

0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.120
<v Speaker 8>put a locking handle on it. Well, they used the

0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:14.200
<v Speaker 8>butter knife to give me the lock open weekend. Then

0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:20.200
<v Speaker 8>I got a double oh woe because they ended up

0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:24.319
<v Speaker 8>climbing through the drunk pile peely. They climbed to the

0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.880
<v Speaker 8>drunk pouse. They were just like my bed.

0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:35.040
<v Speaker 1>That's crazy, so they I'm sorry, Shannon. That Shannon stomach

0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:41.040
<v Speaker 1>has been bothering too this morning, right, Channons.

0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.040
<v Speaker 3>You guys, we gotta keep this in this the game.

0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:45.880
<v Speaker 1>Shannon is a little lactose and teller, and I've been

0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.040
<v Speaker 1>listening to you the entire time. Your kids are amazing though,

0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:50.640
<v Speaker 1>like being able to figure out how to get into

0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:50.880
<v Speaker 1>the thing.

0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.040
<v Speaker 2>You got to make sure your pad locked double locket.

0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.480
<v Speaker 8>My oldest couldn't get kept in a daycare they had,

0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:57.720
<v Speaker 8>he would break out of the daycare.

0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 1>You know your kid needs Your kid needs to have

0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:04.520
<v Speaker 1>the same stomach that Shannon has right now, and they'll

0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:07.600
<v Speaker 1>put them right in the bathroom. That's is unbelieve By

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.200
<v Speaker 1>the way, if I had this this game, I'm gonna

0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:13.000
<v Speaker 1>i'd be playing. Actually, we have a meeting with our

0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:18.640
<v Speaker 1>boss today. Let's play Hide the Fart Machine. Thank you, April.

0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.760
<v Speaker 1>I apologize for being so disruptive during your call.

0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. We appreciate you. I kids.

0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:30.839
<v Speaker 1>Your kids, by the way, will never ever be locked

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.200
<v Speaker 1>in prison. Don't worry about it. They'll break out. They'll

0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:36.880
<v Speaker 1>be like Morgan Freeman. What was the movie was