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Speaker 1: It's camp I am sixty and you're listening to the

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Speaker 1: Conway Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. You bring

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Speaker 1: the turkey, We'll bring the nonsense. Happy Thanksgiving from the

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Speaker 1: Conway Show. I guess the most well behaved person on

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Speaker 1: the floor here on the fourth floor in our Burbank

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Speaker 1: location of iHeartMedia has got to be Sharon Bellio. Nobody.

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Speaker 1: When you meet Sharon Bellio, you assume that she's never

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Speaker 1: had any negative contact with the cops. I don't even

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Speaker 1: think you've ever been pulled over. Have you ever been

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Speaker 1: pulled over? Now, when I was younger, But when's the

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Speaker 1: last time cop pulled you over? It's been a long

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Speaker 1: like decades. Yeah, okay, because you do it, you don't

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Speaker 1: do anything wrong. I try to the rule. I believe

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Speaker 1: in playing by the rules. That's right now. But you

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Speaker 1: do it inside and outside of the workplace. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: a rules follower, that's right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And you've never done, you know, anything to well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: slip on a banana peel. Yeah. But but you were arrested, Charles.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't arrested, No, but you did something. Well, they

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Speaker 1: came to the house to.

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Speaker 3: The story orn Orn, how did what happened to you. Well,

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Speaker 3: I'll put this disclaimer out. Kids don't do this at

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Speaker 3: home because it can lead to bad things.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay.

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Speaker 3: So it was a school night, so a couple of

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Speaker 3: my girlfriends came over. I was in ninth grade and

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Speaker 3: a couple of my girlfriends came over to you know,

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Speaker 3: we were working on a.

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Speaker 1: Homework project together.

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Speaker 3: So we went down in the basement and there's a

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Speaker 3: phone down there, and there was a Yellow.

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Speaker 1: Pages and we were just horsing around.

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Speaker 3: And then one of our friends wasn't there with us

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Speaker 3: that night, so we decided to like start ordering stuff

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Speaker 3: to a house to her house, yeah, like pizzas, and

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Speaker 3: we ordered like some tuxedos, and we ordered like a limo.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, where you grew up, they had they

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Speaker 1: had home delivery of tuxedos. No, oh no.

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Speaker 3: But we placed orders with all these like different businesses

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Speaker 3: like and we were just cracking. We thought it was

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Speaker 3: because they believed us, and so they would take the order,

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Speaker 3: and we were making the order just outrageous that we

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Speaker 3: wanted like lime green tuxedos.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're talking, yes.

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Speaker 3: And I'm going to need three lime green tuxedos.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: So they're taking all our information and we ordered the pizzas,

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Speaker 3: and we ordered like some fish, and we ordered all

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Speaker 3: kinds of stuff. Well, because we didn't let our friends'

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Speaker 3: parents in on it, and they were getting all these

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Speaker 3: phone calls to verify the orders, they called the police.

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Speaker 1: And so then when they went to the three of they,

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 3: Know how they figured out it was us, but they

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Speaker 3: went and my other friends denied it, but when they

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Speaker 3: found ice, I admitted.

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Speaker 1: It was me. Oh man.

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Speaker 3: So the police showed up to the house and they

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Speaker 3: made me call all the businesses that I call and.

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Speaker 1: Apologize how embarrassing it was.

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Speaker 3: And actually the businesses were like, oh, they caught you finally,

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Speaker 3: So I learned my lesson.

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Speaker 1: Where'd they catch you? Like crawling over the state line? No?

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Speaker 3: I think, No, I think. My friend like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: know exactly what it was. She thought somebody else did

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Speaker 3: it and they weren't involved in it. And that's when

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Speaker 3: I admitted that.

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Speaker 1: You coped to it. Huh I coped to it? Wow?

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Speaker 1: What was the punishment? I got grounded? And? Uh? Did

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Speaker 1: they reduce your phone privileges? Oh? Yeah, yeah, you know

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Speaker 1: that was the thing. You had a lot of kids

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Speaker 1: on O this. But when you were a kid, you

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Speaker 1: had phone privileges, Yeah, and you could destroy them.

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Speaker 4: I destroyed my phone grounding. Whoever hears of kids being

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Speaker 4: grounded anymore?

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Speaker 1: Never.

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Speaker 3: I was grounded for like a whole month. I couldn't

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Speaker 3: go to any of the games at school. I really

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Speaker 3: go out after school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, your mom and dad were strict. They were.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's harder on the parents to ground kids

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Speaker 1: than it is the kids. I believe that to be true.

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Speaker 1: I think it's true.

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Speaker 3: And it's hard for parents to stick to the grounding

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Speaker 3: because you know, you like, please please, please, please please,

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Speaker 3: and it's hard to say no.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't hard for my dad. No, no months at

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Speaker 4: a time in my room. Really yeah, well that is

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Speaker 4: just for a C on my report card? Oh wow, man,

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Speaker 4: I we had a cake. If I got a C.

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Speaker 4: My dad be like, would you cheat?

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Speaker 1: Cheating? Did the did the congratulations?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? And congratulations was misspelled with a capital C. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's right. Wow. You guys have seen my photos when

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Speaker 1: I was a child. That's wild, man. But we used

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Speaker 1: to do those phony phone calls. We never got the

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Speaker 1: cops called on this though. Well I always have to

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Speaker 1: overdo stuff.

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Speaker 3: If I had maybe called one or two, it wouldn't

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Speaker 3: have been a But we called like twenty different places,

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Speaker 3: and I think their parents got bombarded with phone calls

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Speaker 3: and they weren't happy.

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Speaker 1: We used to call. And I think this restaurant's not

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Speaker 1: there anymore, so I can tell this story on the air.

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Speaker 1: But there was Jerry's Deli and Encino and Jerry's Deli

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Speaker 1: in Studio City, and we were in the Studio City

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Speaker 1: one me and a buddy, and we found out the

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Speaker 1: manager of the Studio City I think his name was Greg,

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Speaker 1: And so we went to the payphone at the bowling

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Speaker 1: Alley at the Studio City location and we called the

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Speaker 1: Encino Jerry's Deli and we said, hey, it's a manager.

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Speaker 1: Greg goes, Hey, Greg, how you doing? Oh good? Okay,

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Speaker 1: but man, we're running short on a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 1: And he goes, what do you need? What do you need?

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Speaker 1: I said, well, we need you know, three big roast beefs.

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Speaker 1: We need five cakes, We need twenty loads of bray,

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Speaker 1: we need this, we need napkins, we need to play

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Speaker 1: it about it. We had like forty things. He goes,

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Speaker 1: Buddy goes, I'll put in the van. I'll be right over.

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Speaker 1: And we used to wait in the Jerry's Delian studio

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Speaker 1: City for him to bring all this crap over and

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Speaker 1: then just sit there and watch him all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: He was stupid, all right, but we had nothing to do.

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Speaker 1: I was a stupid thing. And then we called another

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Speaker 1: There was a deli in Sino called Froman's Deli, and

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Speaker 1: so we called the owner of the deli and said, hey,

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Speaker 1: we're opening up a restaurant across the street named Broman's Deli,

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Speaker 1: and we wanted to sell the same thing you're selling,

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Speaker 1: but at a cheaper price. Mcdows, yeah, And you know

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Speaker 1: what his response was, he goes, he goes, it's very

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Speaker 1: difficult run in business. I wish you the best luck.

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Speaker 1: Great response. Yeah, And I said, I said, hey, we're

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Speaker 1: going to run the same menu you're running. Can we

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Speaker 1: look at it? And he said, I'll have one of

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Speaker 1: my guys drive it over to you. Where are you?

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Speaker 1: He said, you're not going to be successful, and he

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Speaker 1: sort of he knew way a way to defuse it

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Speaker 1: by just saying, you know what, that's a great idea.

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Speaker 1: I think you guys are onto something. And that was

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Speaker 1: a great way to fuse it. But you can't make

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Speaker 1: phone calls like that anymore because everybody now has caller

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Speaker 1: ID and they know where you're calling from or call block,

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Speaker 1: and those things I think are gone. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you can make a phony phone calls. Do you do

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Speaker 1: that crows when you were a kid.

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Speaker 4: I tend to think I did. It wasn't a thing

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Speaker 4: of mine. I might have done once.

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Speaker 1: It was fun to do, you know, just to call

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Speaker 1: people and mess with them. But it does get out

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Speaker 1: of control when you know, when you order thousands of

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Speaker 1: dollars worth of toxedos, is your refrigerator running?

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Speaker 3: Oh we did those too. Your cows in our garden.

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Speaker 3: We don't have a cow. We don't have a garden.

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Speaker 4: Stupid, many people are going on.

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Speaker 1: That was one of the dumbest things I've just heard

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Speaker 1: in my life. We were in ninth grade.

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Speaker 4: Garden.

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Speaker 1: We don't have a cow, but we don't have a garden.

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Speaker 1: It's like you got the best of them. Oh, your

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Speaker 1: refrigerators reading. We had to go kitchen or something.

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Speaker 4: It was stupid.

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Speaker 1: It was stupid, but it was you know, we had

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Speaker 1: nothing to do. You know, we're bored. It was it

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Speaker 1: was fun I enjoyed it. We're live on kf I

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Speaker 1: AM six forty.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI

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Speaker 2: AM six forty.

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Speaker 1: Crozier, you struck me as a big coke guy in

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Speaker 1: the eighties or nineties.

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Speaker 4: That trum no not true offered a couple of times

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Speaker 4: in my life, I didn't do anything for me, and uh,

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Speaker 4: I think the final death mell for that was my

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Speaker 4: dad dying from it.

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Speaker 1: So that was good enough for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you actually did try it, it didn't do anything.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I tried it a couple times, actually, I don't

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Speaker 4: even want to say a few times. A couple of times,

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Speaker 4: and it just it didn't do anything for me. I

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Speaker 4: literally thought people are losing their houses and cars over

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Speaker 4: this stuff. It doesn't do anything for me?

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Speaker 1: Does grab you? I guess man?

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Speaker 4: Grab my dad.

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Speaker 1: The only time I I actually saw it, and I

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Speaker 1: saw a woman doing it and she said, hey, do

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Speaker 1: you want to do it? I'm like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not I don't like to lose

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Speaker 1: that kind of control. But I took some on my

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Speaker 1: finger and put it on my gums because they do

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Speaker 1: it like it's called a freeze remember them, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And you put it on your gums. I remember that

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Speaker 1: being done, but I don't remember the name of it.

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Speaker 1: D Yeah, And you put on your gums and freeze

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Speaker 1: your gums. And it tasted like like aspirin. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it looks like it days like aspirin. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I just did the sniff thing and it didn't so

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Speaker 4: I didn't taste it, and it just it did.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what why it does grab people?

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Speaker 4: Though?

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Speaker 1: I know a guy that did it and he hated driving. He's,

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Speaker 1: you know, in the Midwest and like driving, and I'm

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Speaker 1: hated it and hated driving at nights you couldn't see anything.

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Speaker 1: But if he was doing cocaine on a weekend and

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Speaker 1: he was out, he would drive from downtown LA all

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Speaker 1: the way to like Chatsworth at night when he was

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Speaker 1: scared to death of driving to get some more grinding

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Speaker 1: his teeth. Yeah, they said the worst part of doing

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Speaker 1: cocaine is the when you try to go to sleep

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Speaker 1: and the birds don't stop chirping. It sounds like they're

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Speaker 1: in both ears. Really, that's what I heard.

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Speaker 4: The thing. I was always fascinated by it in the

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Speaker 4: very few times I've been around it, around it, I

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Speaker 4: I it's it's an incredibly social drug.

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Speaker 1: Oh it is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I never asked for it or anything like that.

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Speaker 4: It was always one of those hey here, here, here,

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Speaker 4: you gotta do it. You're here here, everybody's doing it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. My my buddy that did that used to enjoy that.

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Speaker 1: He said, you end up talking to people for six hours.

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Speaker 1: You would never give the time of day two otherwise, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you never even know they're they existed, and you have

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Speaker 1: a nine hour conversation with them. Stephus, you don't strike

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Speaker 1: me as a coke guy? Am I wrong? Am I

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Speaker 1: missing you?

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Speaker 5: I'm terrified of all of that outside of uh, you know,

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Speaker 5: having a couple of drinks.

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Speaker 1: Oh I see, Okay, I didn't think it was gonna

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Speaker 1: say a couple drinks. Yeah. I thought he was gonna say, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, like uh snorting. I thought say like math amphetamine, mushrooms,

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Speaker 1: sum or horse or h go. I'm terrified of everything

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Speaker 1: outside of the injections.

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Speaker 5: Blues greens. Oh yeah, that that terrifies me too. Just

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Speaker 5: first I go as gummies.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you don't do injections.

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Speaker 5: I'm honestly, I'm terrified to get blood drawn. So really,

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Speaker 5: oh yeah, oh you don't like needles. I hate needles.

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Speaker 1: So did you get the COVID shot? I did?

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Speaker 5: I was terrified and I was sweating when I did.

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Speaker 1: You know the COVID or the inoculations now or injections. Man,

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Speaker 1: When I was a kid, it was like they're putting

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Speaker 1: a like a comedy pencil into your arm. It hurt

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Speaker 1: like hell, you know, like one of those not farmed

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Speaker 1: comedy pencils. But nowadays you can't feel it at all.

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Speaker 1: It's it's it's literally the width of a size of

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Speaker 1: a hair.

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Speaker 4: The key is to not get it done by a

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Speaker 4: nurse or a doctor because those are not trained to

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Speaker 4: do it. What are they the phlebotomous or whatever. The

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Speaker 4: people that actually trained and licensed and all that stuff

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Speaker 4: to draw blood. They know how to do it and

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Speaker 4: not have any pain. I'm with you, I'm with you.

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Speaker 4: That's why I get minded Sears. That's where I got it.

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Speaker 4: Right outside of Sears. It's a little table.

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Speaker 1: Somebody set right, Yeah, guy set up a table, and

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Speaker 1: I got a flu shot right outside of Sears. God almighty,

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Speaker 1: what was it going on with me? Angel? You know

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Speaker 1: you don't strike me as a coke gal? Am I wrong?

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Speaker 1: Am I on the moon?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't do that. I can't figure

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Speaker 1: you out. Wait, wait, so you don't Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: do it. Okay. Or you're not on it now, that's right,

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Speaker 1: you're not on cocaine now. No, okay, it seems like

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Speaker 1: she she's like she misses it all right, okay, quiet,

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Speaker 1: very quiet here, Oh, Kiki if she got something to say, Kiki,

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Speaker 1: is that is that you got coke? Queen? Was your

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Speaker 1: license plate? You were a dune cocaine? No? I have not, No,

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Speaker 1: I've done nothing. I am a good person and a

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Speaker 1: good girl person. He was always the first ones to

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Speaker 1: turn right. Yeah. Catholic goals? Are you Catholic?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 1: I'm not you not okay.

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Speaker 4: Those are the ones that the first time they do it,

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Speaker 4: they go absolutely insane.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if you don't want me ask, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to pry. Are you a god fearing woman?

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Speaker 3: Ye ah?

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Speaker 1: You religious? I am not religious? Okay, okay.

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Speaker 4: Wait, she didn't understand the expression.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, during the break, I'm gonna talk to

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Speaker 1: you a little bit about Catholicism to get you know,

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Speaker 1: because I know it's going to piss a lot of

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Speaker 1: people off, but it really is the only way to happen.

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Speaker 1: That makes a lot of people crazy.

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Speaker 4: You know. I had some people when I was a

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Speaker 4: kid that you know, they used to come to the doors,

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Speaker 4: to your door and knock on you, you know, you

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Speaker 4: give you a little test. Are you familiar with Jesus

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Speaker 4: and all this stuff? And I had one couple come up.

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Speaker 4: I was ten, came up to the door and it

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Speaker 4: was like price is right was being interrupted, and I

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Speaker 4: was already irritated going to the door. And they asked me.

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Speaker 4: I said, are you familiar with the Lord? And I

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Speaker 4: go familiar, Yeah, sure, why not? And they asked me,

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Speaker 4: they said do you know his real name? And I thought,

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Speaker 4: isn't it Jesus? They go, no, it's down and I

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Speaker 4: went all right, thanks, closing the door, and I was done.

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Speaker 1: You know, they give you that. The Mormons come by,

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Speaker 1: and they gave me one of those cards with Jesus on.

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Speaker 1: It is not what they do with the cards with

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Speaker 1: Jesus on.

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Speaker 4: The Mormons.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the Mormons, I don't know. The boys and the bikes, yes,

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Speaker 1: they were on bikes. They are very well dressed young

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Speaker 1: men and They gave me a card and it had

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Speaker 1: Jesus on it. Man, is that hard to throw away?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you feel that for putting it? Yes, you gotta

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Speaker 1: hang that or put it in a drawer somewhere, or

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Speaker 1: you know, put it in your wallet.

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Speaker 4: Well, and that's why these people do you want to

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Speaker 4: screw with luck?

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Speaker 1: You throw a picture of Jesus away? God Almighty, How

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Speaker 1: confident are you in life that you're going to throw

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Speaker 1: that away?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 4: See, that was the thing with them. It was like

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Speaker 4: I felt like I was being like like punished or

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Speaker 4: something like that because I didn't have a bit of

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Speaker 4: knowledge or something about God. Like they made me feel

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Speaker 4: like really small and like dumb, and I was like,

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Speaker 4: what what you're coming to my door? Yeah, it was.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't even like the whole religious aspect of it.

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Speaker 4: It was just the way they come at me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't I like when they knock on the door. Look,

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Speaker 1: they're you know, young men and women. I think they're

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Speaker 1: they're fine. But I often am of the mindset of

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Speaker 1: uh man, I I don't know if I'm going to

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Speaker 1: change my religions today. I don't know. Do you get

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Speaker 1: into the conversation nah a little bit, a little bit

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Speaker 1: if it depends on how buzzed I am, you know

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Speaker 1: in the door. Yeah right, I've been defending how much

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Speaker 1: I'm down that day on TVG like, hey guys, you

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Speaker 1: got any more pictures of Jesus here? We need a

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Speaker 1: lot of help here in the in the nightcap, hang on,

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Speaker 1: I got a collection place over here. Had a lot

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Speaker 1: of help here with this last phrase. All right, what's

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Speaker 1: going on with the news.

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Speaker 2: You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI

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Speaker 2: AM six forty.

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Speaker 1: It's the best of Conway show. Perfect for Thanksgiving because

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Speaker 1: nothing says family time like hiding in your room and

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Speaker 1: listening to KFI. I think dong with you. I was

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Speaker 1: just talking to Bellio and she's great. She's great, You're great.

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Speaker 1: But Bellio and I we sort of have the same

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Speaker 1: like the same upbringing. Both of our dads were really

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Speaker 1: into the racetrack. We knew when they hit, we knew

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Speaker 1: when they didn't, and just a lot of this similar vibe. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I remember you remember like crows, you go back

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Speaker 1: stuff You probably don't, but Angel does. When remember the

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Speaker 1: cord that went from your home phone to your receiver

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Speaker 1: and it was all curled up. You know, it's like

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Speaker 1: a like a big like a noodle. Yeah, and if

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Speaker 1: you stretched it out, remember how pissed mom and Dad

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Speaker 1: would get, Oh my god, yes, you put a kink

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Speaker 1: in that noodle. Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: I didn't get that kink out, man, when it twisted

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Speaker 4: the other way?

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Speaker 1: How did it get like that? I know, I know.

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Speaker 1: And then you'd hold it Stephoo said, you know, you

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Speaker 1: hold it upside down right, and it spins and you

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Speaker 1: try to do it that way, but it doesn't work,

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Speaker 1: and there's always that one kink, one kink in that cord.

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Speaker 3: Or it would get so twisted that you could only

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Speaker 3: like pick up the phone like a two inches the

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Speaker 3: receiver because it was so twisted.

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Speaker 1: You're like, hold on, let me get that. I got

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Speaker 1: to get that right here. I really think. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I've admitted to this on the air before, but

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Speaker 1: I think I could have been stuteley or as a kid,

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Speaker 1: except for my mom. And I blame my mom for

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Speaker 1: the why is that? I'll tell you why. When I

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Speaker 1: was in third grade, I was going to go to

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Speaker 1: a Halloween party and I wanted to invite a girl

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Speaker 1: named Carrie to the to the Halloween party, and and

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Speaker 1: I we started school, you know, late August, and this

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Speaker 1: party was going to be in you know, late October.

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Speaker 1: And literally every single day I got home, I got

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Speaker 1: her number. Remember how I got her number, But I

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Speaker 1: got her phone number. And every single day i'd come home,

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Speaker 1: i'd sit near the phone. I'd write stuff down to

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Speaker 1: say to her, because I was so nervous that sweet

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Speaker 1: that I would run.

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Speaker 3: Out of things to say, like what your kind of

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Speaker 3: things like.

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Speaker 1: Write down you know, like, hey, do you remember when

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Speaker 1: we were playing four square? You know that kind of crap,

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Speaker 1: And you know, i'd write down her mom's name and

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Speaker 1: her dad name, so I didn't forget those. You know,

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Speaker 1: I was buttoned up. I was buttoned up. And so

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Speaker 1: every day I'd come home and i'd and i'd sit

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Speaker 1: near the phone. I remember sitting in the kitchen right

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Speaker 1: near the phone, and I'd go to dial and then

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Speaker 1: i'd i'd chicken out. I'd go out and play, and

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Speaker 1: then i'd come back and I'd like, Okay, now I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna call. And then it was eight o'clock at night.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't call after eight, Yeah, so that day was blown.

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Speaker 1: I'd do the same thing over the next day, the

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Speaker 1: next day, the next day, weekends, weekdays, weekends, weekdays, for

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Speaker 1: about four weeks, wow, four or five weeks. I finally,

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Speaker 1: I think, I think I may have taken a shot

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Speaker 1: of my dad's gin to get up the courage to

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Speaker 1: call in third grade. Maybe maybe I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. Maybe that's not true. But

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Speaker 1: but I finally got the courage to call. And it

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Speaker 1: was like, get seven o'clock on a Sunday. And I

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Speaker 1: remember this very very specific. I think it was. I

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Speaker 1: think it was the Sunday and it was at seven

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Speaker 1: o'clock at night. I hit all seven buttons, calls going,

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Speaker 1: you know, before he had a dillary code calls on

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Speaker 1: its way. It wrings her mom answers, and I said, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, I introduced myself and I said, hey, can

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Speaker 1: I speak to your daughter? And she said, uh, I guess, so,

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Speaker 1: you know, very hesitant. I guess, so okay, in third

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Speaker 1: grades called my daughter. But I just want to invite her,

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Speaker 1: you know, and go to go her. This is so lame,

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Speaker 1: But I wanted to picture the idea of going to

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Speaker 1: the Halloween party as raggedy Ann and Andy, how weak

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Speaker 1: is that that's cute? How weak is that? That's cute? Oh?

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Speaker 1: My got goose bumps. I'd like to be at bottom

422
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Speaker 1: of that ocean. Was smooth one. So I the phone.

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Speaker 1: So she goes hold on one sec. And the girl

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Speaker 1: gets on the phone. She goes hello, I go hey,

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Speaker 1: it's uh, it's it's Tim. I'm in your She goes yeah,

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Speaker 1: she goes, I know exactly you are. And because I

427
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Speaker 1: really did have much conversation with her in school, I

428
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Speaker 1: was pretty sure I like paralyzing, paralyzed with shyness. And

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Speaker 1: we talked for like literally like thirty seconds, and she goes, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad you call. You going to the party.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to the Halloween party. And I think it

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Speaker 1: was at Wendy's house. I said, yeah, yeah, it's right

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Speaker 1: up the street from her. And all of a sudden,

434
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 1: my mom comes by and she goes, who are you

435
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 1: talking to? And I said, I'm talking to a girl

436
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,880
Speaker 1: I know in school, and she hangs the phone up.

437
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: She goes, you're not talking to girls in third grade

438
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 1: in my house. Hangs the phone up. Why would you

439
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: do that? Hangs it up? That was a rap. Didn't

440
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: go to the Halloween party didn't go with her. That

441
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 1: was a rap, like you never spoke about it. I'm

442
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 1: still not over it. I'm sitting here, you know, sweating.

443
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 1: You're working through it now. I'm working through it right now,

444
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 1: sweat my ass off. But my mom was a very strict,

445
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 1: strict woman, very strict Catholic. Hey, look, she got to

446
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: be kicked out of two churches, two parishes because the

447
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,240
Speaker 1: priest wasn't on board with where life started. You know.

448
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 1: She was a strict strict Life starts a conception period,

449
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,199
Speaker 1: and the period was the size of like Connecticut. There

450
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 1: was no wigger room with this woman. None. And so

451
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: if a priest said, well, you know, there's a lot

452
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: of people that you know, and she gets into the

453
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: you know abortion with the you know, incest or whatever,

454
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: my mom say no, no, no, no, that's not that's

455
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 1: bs and blew up. And we got kicked out at

456
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 1: two churches, Saint Mel's Church in Woodland Hills, and we

457
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 1: got kicked out of a Lady of Grace in Scene,

458
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,640
Speaker 1: and we ended up in Saint Cyril's. We're the ones

459
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: that just kept drifting down Venture at Boulevard being kicked

460
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: out of one massive Catholic church after another. But my

461
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: mom had a policy, unless you're married, you cannot have

462
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: a woman sleepover at her house, like when we went

463
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 1: to visit her in Canada. If I was if I

464
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,719
Speaker 1: had a girlfriend, and sometimes I did, we were not

465
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 1: allowed to stay at my mom's house as an adult.

466
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: As an adult, I was thirty seven Crozier. Wow, Wow,

467
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 1: I was thirty seven.

468
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 4: I'm going to take this door off the hinges.

469
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 1: And had a pretty serious girlfriend at thirty seven for

470
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 1: thirty I don't know thirty six. I gotta do the

471
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: math on that. But I was in my mid to

472
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: late thirties and she said, you're not coming over with

473
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: your girlfriend. She's not staying overnight. And I said, but

474
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: she'll stay in another room. No, that's not happening. So

475
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 1: when I got married in the early two thousands, everybody

476
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 1: at my mom's place in Canada thought I was marrying

477
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: another guy. Oh, because they said they were like, wow,

478
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: we never saw you with a woman. I said, because

479
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 1: my mom. It wasn't because of me. Because my mom

480
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: was crazy. I don't know if you know that. I

481
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 1: don't remember that. She's crazy.

482
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 4: So she would allow you to have dudes over at

483
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 4: the place.

484
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: No, I don't think she would either.

485
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 3: No.

486
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know she would have gone down that

487
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 1: road with Maine. I think that would have been another discussion.

488
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: So you weren't allowed to have any No, No, I

489
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 1: could have friends over. No. But are you saying if

490
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: I if I was in a relationship with a guy,

491
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 1: would the guy be able to say there, no, but

492
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 1: what a guy friend? Yes? Absolutely, one hundred percent. Yeah.

493
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 1: And she was friends with all my friends. I mean

494
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: she knew like Robbie Fox, Mykennessee, m McDaniel, all these guys.

495
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: I mean she grew up. They were over at our

496
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 1: house more than I think I was. But this man,

497
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: I think I could have really rolled around if it

498
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: wasn't for my mom paralyzing me when I was thirty. Great,

499
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, I forgot over that. I really don't. I

500
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 1: still run into that girl that I called on occasion,

501
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: and I run into her, and I still get nervous

502
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: around her because of what happened.

503
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I was wondering whether or not

504
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 4: you completely avoided her the next day in school.

505
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 1: I still see her today. I mean I saw her

506
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: a year ago.

507
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 4: That's crazy.

508
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: And she knows the story.

509
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 4: And so you've since explained that to her.

510
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,920
Speaker 1: Oh, I've told her that story twenty times, and she's like,

511
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: I can't believe their mom did that to you. I said,

512
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: you can't, you can't. I was there. How about being

513
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 1: on my annoy you in the house that she did it?

514
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: Stand next to the yellow phone in the kitchen. How

515
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 1: about that guy?

516
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 2: All right?

517
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 4: Just see her going click yeah, and you just sitting

518
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 4: there silently looking.

519
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: I still had the receiver. She clicked it on the

520
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 1: on the phone, she pushed it down on the phone,

521
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: and I was still on, going hello, Hello. Then she

522
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 1: grabs it for me. You're not talking to a girl

523
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 1: in third grade in my house. That's never going to

524
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 1: happen again, all right, A right, all right? How many

525
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,120
Speaker 1: more years until I'm eighteen?

526
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 2: All right?

527
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: What's going on with that news department?

528
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: You're listening to Tim Conway Junior on demand from KFI

529
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 2: AM six forty.

530
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: It's Thanksgiving? Hey, look, be grateful you're not stuck on

531
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 1: the four or five in traffic. Enjoy the show or

532
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,479
Speaker 1: don't whatever. You know, when you have a doctor and

533
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with you, sometimes a year or two

534
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: goes by and you don't go to them, and then

535
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: it's hard to call them again.

536
00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: You feel guilty.

537
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you feel like you let them down,

538
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: like like it was a friend that you're you know,

539
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 1: you're not. Oh God, are so weird? No, you don't,

540
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: not at all. Oh see, I lost touch with doctor Ballot.

541
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 1: I didn't get a new doctor. I just have him going.

542
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 3: Are you dating him?

543
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 2: No?

544
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 1: We weren't dating, although we did some things that people

545
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 1: who date to and if you want to know, got

546
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: to second base. In some countries we're dating and uh

547
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 1: some you know, wild dating too once a year, you know.

548
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: But so he was like two or three years and

549
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: then I didn't call him, and it's been like six

550
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: seven now it's been like twelve years, and I and

551
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: I and I think about him day. Isn't that weird?

552
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 1: I think about this doctor. He was the greatest doctor

553
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: every every and I think about every year about him

554
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: every day. Yes. Well, he had a great nickname. What

555
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: was it, small fingers? Oh, so I I have a

556
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: gray for you. Yeah. I have a friend of mine,

557
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 1: a guy named Robbie Fox, who called me up and

558
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 1: he goes, buddy, you're not going to believe this, but

559
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: my sister in law is friends with your old doctor,

560
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,239
Speaker 1: doctor Darryl Balen, and he says, I'm going to his

561
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: house to have dinner to night. This is last week.

562
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: And I said, buddy, you got to get me back

563
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 1: in with this guy. And he goes, I'll try. So

564
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 1: he went there. He said, hey, Conway wants to come back,

565
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: and doctor Ballen was like, I don't know. I mean

566
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 1: he you know, he did sort of split and he

567
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: never he got this. He got off. Course he can

568
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: come back, he said, of course he can come back.

569
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: But I think about him every day. Isn't that weird?

570
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: Every day.

571
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 4: I just recently got into starting up because I remember

572
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,199
Speaker 4: finished all of it a Kirby enthusiasm. Okay, and that

573
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 4: is exactly the plot of an episode of Caribean, Is

574
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 4: that right? Yeah, it's such an episode, this classic.

575
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: But I'm back, baby, I'm back. I can now call

576
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 1: him and go to see the world's greatest doctor. I

577
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 1: don't know if he's taken on any new patients, but man,

578
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: if if your doctor's name is doctor Darren Darryl Balin,

579
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: you get the missed doctor. I remember him telling me

580
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: on one year. This is like fourteen years ago. He

581
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 1: said tim. He said, he said of himself. He goes,

582
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: I drive a nice car. I'm a doctor. I'm in Tarzana.

583
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: I drive a nice car. He said, your cholesterol is

584
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: higher than my car payment. And I said, I know.

585
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,959
Speaker 1: He goes, how do you know? And I said, well,

586
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: to steal a line from Brian Reagan, you told me

587
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: last year my cholesterol is high and I haven't done

588
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: anything about it. But he's probably thinking, why do I

589
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: want this guy back? Every time I say to him

590
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: his cholesterol is high, he just leaves here and just ignore.

591
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: Is that that information?

592
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 4: He figures He's gonna stop seeing you one way or

593
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 4: the other.

594
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: Soon, That's right, that's right. Eventually everyone will stop seeing me.

595
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: But I got back in with them, which is, uh,

596
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 1: which is really cool.

597
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 4: At first, the first appointment is going to be fun.

598
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah, yeah, yeah, the first appointment is going

599
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: to be Okay, we got another guy here that's gonna

600
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: check your prostate. Oh really, go wow, who's this guy?

601
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: Who's this dude? But Crozer, that's amazing, You've never had

602
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: a physical Yeah.

603
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 4: And I'm really starting to get to the pointments like

604
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 4: I probably should really start being a little more proactive

605
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 4: on that stuff. It's not like a dentist appointment, though,

606
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 4: where they call you annually and say it's I have

607
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 4: my dentist appointment today six months. So they really need

608
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:48,719
Speaker 4: to figure out a system work.

609
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: How long you've been going to the same dentist about

610
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: four year?

611
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 4: Five years?

612
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're dedicated.

613
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, although it was a seven year period. Wed,

614
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 4: I can go to a dentist.

615
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: Okay, man, are you sure you were you were born

616
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 1: like in nineteen ten when I went that first time?

617
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 4: After like seven years, zero cavities?

618
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: Okay, that's cool, that's cool. But you're in good shape.

619
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: I mean, do you eat well? You know, you work

620
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: out right? You know you don't work out in the garage. Yeah,

621
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: you don't smoke cigarettes?

622
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 4: Right?

623
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: And you have a two story house?

624
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 4: I do?

625
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 1: They said.

626
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 4: I love that.

627
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: They said people of the two story house live twelve

628
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: years longer than people in this single story house.

629
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 4: I believe it.

630
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've just made that up, but I think it's true.

631
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 1: I mean, you're climb You're climbing those stairs fifteen twenty

632
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: times a day.

633
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 4: Yes, and I usually do two at a time, so

634
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 4: oh you do?

635
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 1: Yeah?

636
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna jump right here moving yeah, yeah, yeah,

637
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 4: but if you bend down to at a time.

638
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so if you you could easily do it twenty

639
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: times a day. Yeah, and so if you do that,

640
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: you know twenty and there's probably what forty steps?

641
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, damn that much?

642
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 1: Maybe twenty five? Yeah, okay, twenty times twenty five is

643
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: five hundred steps.

644
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 4: And I go up and down that one of the

645
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 4: fourth floor. Here I go. I don't use the elevators here.

646
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: Wait, you don't use you climb up to the fourth floor. Yeah, yeah,

647
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: I never do that. You haven't seen the elevators?

648
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 4: Well, only like sometimes when I go down with you

649
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 4: when we're leaving.

650
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: Oh, I see, that's about it.

651
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 4: That's the only time I see the elevator.

652
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: That's classic you and Matt Muddy Smith he also doesn't

653
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: use the elevator.

654
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 4: Are a couple of people I run into in the stairwell

655
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 4: and yeah, that's our exercise.

656
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. I sometimes am so lazy that if I'm in

657
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: the elevator, I have somebody else press the button for me.

658
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 4: Can you hit that You're just waiting for somebody to

659
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 4: come in.

660
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: I'm exhausted. Can you hit that four for me? I'm exhausted,

661
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: all right, I Crozier, Angel, Stephush and Bellio. Great job everybody,

662
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: and you know what you guys are not. You're not losers,

663
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: all right? What's going on with that news department? Conway

664
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 1: Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app. Now, you can

665
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: always hear us live on kf I Am six forty

666
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 1: four to seven pm Monday through Friday, and anytime on

667
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: demand on the iHeartRadio app