1 00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: Dave Ryan Shall. 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 2: All right, we have Ella on the phone right now, 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 2: and Allen has a problem she needs our help with. 4 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: So Ella, I'm gonna let you take it away. What's 5 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: going on? 6 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 3: Hi? 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, I'm just trying to figure out what to 8 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 4: do about my friend and this guy. 9 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 5: That she's been seeing. Okay, Yeah, they've been dating for 10 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 5: a while, even doating for like two years, but like 11 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 5: six months ago, he moved alling out to Colorado to 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 5: work and they were gonna just do long distance. But 13 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 5: it's been a while and she misses him, so she's 14 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 5: gonna move out there too, I think. 15 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 2: Okay, I mean that's how it's not good, but I'm 16 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 2: assuming something else is wrong. 17 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean they both thought it would be a 18 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 4: good idea, but we've all kind of been skeptical. And 19 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 4: she's supposed to move midi avle like pretty soon. 20 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 5: But last weekend he sent her. 21 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 4: This crazy email. 22 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 3: Like he's like, let's prep. 23 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 4: He has an email of just a huge list of 24 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 4: things that he says, there are his non negotiables, crap. 25 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 5: He needs in order for them to work. 26 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 1: Basically, yeah, for them to work. 27 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,960 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Well, obviously we need to know what 28 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 2: was on this list. 29 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: Tell us some things that around. 30 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 4: The list, Yeah, no, they're wild. 31 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 5: One one is like they can't have any fast food 32 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 5: when they're together because he. 33 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 4: Says that when they're together, he eats too much fast 34 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 4: food and he gains weight. 35 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 1: Okay, well done, Like takes some self control. That's not 36 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: her fault. 37 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 4: Okay, but she can't even have it either, Okay, jeez, 38 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 4: they have to whenever he wants, he's allowed to go 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 4: out with his friends, even if they had a date 40 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 4: set or plant set or we're going to get dinner 41 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 4: or whatever. He has to be able to go out 42 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 4: with his friends last minute, and she can't get said 43 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 4: about it. 44 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 2: That drives me nuts, Like yeah, you know, I mean 45 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: I already, like my blood was boiling already, but like 46 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: now I'm just like, are you kidding me? 47 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: Is do you have any more? 48 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 5: Yeah? He also, I mean, this is the biggest one 49 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 5: to meet. 50 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 4: He Previously they were talking about kids together and their 51 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 4: family and all these. 52 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 5: Things, but now he says he doesn't even want kids 53 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 5: at all, and that's like a. 54 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 3: Hard no for him. 55 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 6: Okay, So all of this is so he's he's moving, 56 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 6: He's she loves him so much she's like, I'm gonna 57 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 6: move too, And then after all of these plans have 58 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 6: been made for her to move out there with him, 59 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 6: then he's like, by the way, here's a list of 60 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 6: all the ways that I'm awful. 61 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 4: Essentially, Yeah, yeah, it's it's really wild. 62 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 5: And I think that she sees it too, but I don't. 63 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 5: She still loves him and he is planning to move 64 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 5: and yeah, I'm leading for. 65 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 2: The part where we get to the pros, like it's 66 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: Cone after con after Cone. Yeah, do you have anything 67 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 2: nice to say about him? Or is he just that 68 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 2: big of a crap person. 69 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 4: I'm gonna be so real. I don't like him so much. 70 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 4: I'm glad that he makes her happy, but at this 71 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 4: point he's not. 72 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 5: Making her happy. 73 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 2: So yeah, this sounds more like she's probably trauma bonded 74 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 2: to him of some sorts, because I mean, by the 75 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 2: sounds of it, maybe he's not necessarily controlling, but to 76 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 2: an extent he is by all of this. But then 77 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 2: also to like throw the kids thing out there, when 78 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 2: like I'm assuming they've talked about that before and like 79 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 2: have talked about having kids, It's like, yeah, you can't 80 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 2: just like pull that out from underneath, so he lives 81 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 2: out there already. She hasn't quite moved, but now you're 82 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 2: at the point where you're like, I need to figure 83 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 2: out how to tell her not to move, Like she's 84 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: gonna what I see is happening, because I can see 85 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: the future. She moves out there, it's the most miserable 86 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: thing ever. But she has no one else because she's 87 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 2: uprooting her life and maybe she doesn't know a lot 88 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 2: of people out there yet, So then she continues to 89 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 2: stay with this man because like she doesn't know anyone. 90 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: Mm hmm oh, I don't like that at all. 91 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 6: Messages that are making some claims that I don't disagree with. 92 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 6: This One says sounds like this guy is low key 93 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 6: trying to get her to break up with him because 94 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 6: he's too big of a douchebag to break up with her. 95 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 6: So he's coming up with this list of things that 96 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 6: he thinks are ridiculous that most women would not agree 97 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 6: to do to try to get her not to move 98 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 6: out there with him so that they can break up. 99 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 2: That's a good point, I mean, potentially, someone says fast 100 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 2: food was enough. I don't need to hear anymore. 101 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 6: Absolutely not dump this guy, she's moving to a dangerous situation. 102 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 2: Someone says, oh, hell not tell her to run. Well, 103 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,039 Speaker 2: we want you to call in. I know a lot 104 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 2: of people are texting, but we love to hear your voice. 105 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 2: Six y one nine eight nine, KATIEWB. Let us know 106 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,839 Speaker 2: because it's not We already know this guy's a crap person. 107 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,479 Speaker 2: We need to help Ella out though, to figure out 108 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 2: how does she approach her friend to get her friend 109 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 2: to break up with this guy or like not move 110 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: out there obviously, So I'm going to just have to 111 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 2: answer the phones live because we don't have a phone 112 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 2: screener today. So let's see how this Hi, Katie w B. 113 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 2: What's your name? 114 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 6: Hi? 115 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 3: So I think this guy is like totally plainer. I 116 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 3: think he moved away and there's somebody else there, and 117 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,359 Speaker 3: that's why he says he can get away what he 118 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 3: wants and that when you that's why he wants her 119 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 3: to know it's not going to be serious anymore by 120 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 3: not wanting to have kids anymore. 121 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 6: Okay, a lot of people are texting that same thing 122 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 6: that they're all thinking that he met someone else or 123 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 6: he's trying to get her to break up with. 124 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 2: So that's an opinion of what you think the situation is. 125 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 2: What would you tell Ella on the phone to try 126 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 2: to get her friend to see that? 127 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't know that you can, and like she said, 128 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,839 Speaker 3: she probably already does know. She just he's like you 129 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 3: guys that she's got to be trauma bound er something 130 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 3: to this guy, because it's pretty clear. But you know, 131 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 3: when you're when you think you're in love, you try 132 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,039 Speaker 3: to not look at them things versus she doesn't have 133 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 3: proof of any of that. Right, it's going to go along, 134 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 3: you know, go along with it, and I feel bad 135 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 3: for her. I don't think it's gonna end. 136 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 1: Well yeah, all right, well thanks so much for calling in. Hello, Hi, 137 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: you're on Katy w B. What's your name? 138 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 5: Dj I? 139 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: What do you want to say about the situation on 140 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: group therapy? 141 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 7: Okay, so, Jinny, let me tell you like this, I'm 142 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,239 Speaker 7: gonna talk from experience girl. 143 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you got? 144 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: So? 145 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 7: One hundred hands down? He don't want to be with 146 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 7: her no more, whatever reason, whether he met somebody else. 147 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,679 Speaker 7: And trust me, I did that numerous of the times 148 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 7: in the past. 149 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 6: I'm a change man. 150 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 3: Now shout that. 151 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you are, I know you are DJ 152 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 2: Bogie Yeah again, So okay, So so he doesn't want 153 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 2: to be with her anymore and you've done that before. 154 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 2: So how do we get Ella to convince her friend? Like, Yo, 155 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 2: this man is trying to end things and you're not 156 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 2: seeing it. 157 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 7: She's gonna have to like seriously think about the friend 158 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 7: of hers or whatever. 159 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: She has to think about it because. 160 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 7: All of a sudden he did this three sixty or 161 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 7: one eighty whatever y'all call it, and he's that and 162 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 7: change up on it is something fishy. Yeah, either some 163 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,039 Speaker 7: investigation or she got to listen to her friends. 164 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I like that. Well one more time for 165 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 2: me there it is DJ Buggy. Always a pleasure hearing 166 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 2: from you. Have a good day, Bye bye man. 167 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: The phones are lighting up here, Katie w B. What's 168 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: your name? Alisha? Alisha? What do you have to say 169 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: about group's therapy? 170 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 2: Ella's friend is basically trying to move out to Colorado. 171 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 2: This guy just sent her a list of non negotiables 172 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 2: that sounds like maybe he doesn't even want to be 173 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 2: with her. She's trying to convince her friend not to 174 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 2: move out there. What are your what's your take on it? 175 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 7: Well, one dick and number two. 176 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 3: I would tell Ela to come up with tick a 177 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 3: plan to have something like this happening to her and 178 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 3: see how her friend responds and be like, yeah, by 179 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 3: the way, that's your dude. 180 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 1: Oh. 181 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 2: I like I've seen TikTok where you're like, oh, you like, 182 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 2: tell all these qualities about a guy you're dating your mom, 183 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 2: But really it's qualities that your mom does. And like 184 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 2: you see how your mom reacts and your mom's like 185 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 2: and then you're like, mom, that's actually everything you do. 186 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 6: Oh. 187 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: I Like that's a good way to go about this. Awesome. Well, 188 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: thank you so much for Collin. Have a great day. 189 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: Thank you, Biley. We got more texts coming out. 190 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 5: Yah. 191 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 6: Someone gives the advice to approach her and express that 192 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,679 Speaker 6: you care about her, but then read the demands back 193 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 6: to her and ask her why she thinks he's saying 194 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 6: these things. Say if someone were saying this to me, 195 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 6: what would you tell me? And have her get to 196 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 6: the conclusion herself. Someone a lot of people think that 197 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 6: he's just trying to break up with this girlfriend. Yeah. 198 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 6: This one says, my friend followed a man to Colorado, 199 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 6: she got stuck there for years with him and he 200 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 6: was the worst. She's just gonna have to tell her 201 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 6: friends she's making a mistake. 202 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like what. 203 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 6: If if she doesn't know anyone else in Colorado? What 204 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 6: if something happens and she has nobody to turn to. 205 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 6: So I think it's having an honest conversation with your friend. 206 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,959 Speaker 6: Someone says, rip the band aid, have an honest conversation 207 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 6: as a friend. You did your due diligence. Yeah, and 208 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 6: that's kind of like, well, I did my piece. And 209 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 6: if she's going to go out and make this mistake, like, 210 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 6: what else are you going to do, like tie yourself 211 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 6: to her? 212 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: You can't you say something? Yeah? 213 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 2: So, Ella, I think we've got a lot of people 214 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 2: still calling in and I appreciate it, but we got 215 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 2: to wrap up here. 216 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: Ella. 217 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 2: I would say one of the best things I heard 218 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: today on group therapy was maybe you are like talking 219 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 2: to your friend and you're like, oh my gosh, I 220 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:25,959 Speaker 2: got to tell you about my other friend and this 221 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 2: crap guy she's dating. And you start listing things that 222 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 2: are actually the quality of your friend's boyfriend and see 223 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 2: what she has to say, and you're like, oh, actually 224 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 2: that is your boyfriend and you shouldn't move to Colorado. 225 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: That might be too bold. 226 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 2: You're probably a passive, aggressive Minnesotan, so you probably won't 227 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 2: do that, But I hope that you can convince her 228 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 2: not to move. I think the consensus here is that 229 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 2: he's either a not into her and doesn't even want 230 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,079 Speaker 2: her to move, or be he's just a crap person 231 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 2: and she should just not move anyways and get rid 232 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:57,319 Speaker 2: of him. 233 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 1: So good luck with that, Ella. 234 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 2: I hope it works out and your friend doesn't move 235 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 2: to Colorado. 236 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 4: Thank you. Yeah, I have I. 237 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 5: Have some some talking to do. 238 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, we'll keep us updated and hopefully we'll 239 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 2: hear good news about her not moving.