WEBVTT - Mojo Got Busted After Work

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<v Speaker 1>It's moo joe in the morning.

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<v Speaker 2>So I kind of embarrassed doing this.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't know if there are any people that

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<v Speaker 1>ever do this.

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<v Speaker 2>But I got busted not going home yesterday, got the

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<v Speaker 2>text saying, Hey, when are you coming home? And I

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<v Speaker 2>text Chelsea back, I go, I'm gonna leave here at

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<v Speaker 2>about like thirty or forty minutes, and it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, okay, no problem.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I ended up doing something that I do

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<v Speaker 2>every now and again, and that is stop off at

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<v Speaker 2>the strip club and have myself at a stake.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't ever know, although yesterday we were talking

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<v Speaker 2>about strip clubs and stuff like that, and it made

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<v Speaker 2>me think to myself, who are the guys that just

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<v Speaker 2>go to strip clubs randomly during the day, Like they

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<v Speaker 2>go and they say they're eating and stuff. But my

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<v Speaker 2>strip club is different. My strip club is the mall.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to go to the mall sometimes, and I

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<v Speaker 2>like to go like middle of the day on my

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<v Speaker 2>way home from work. I like to get myself little

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<v Speaker 2>food out of the food court, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's kind of.

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<v Speaker 2>Usually well, usually I go to the Twelve Oaks Mall,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'll go Taco Bell and I'll just get like myself.

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<v Speaker 2>And I know it sounds weird to just say, because

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<v Speaker 2>why would you go to Taco Bell? But everything else

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<v Speaker 2>kind of has gluten in it, you know. Back in

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<v Speaker 2>the day, I used to go to that you know,

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<v Speaker 2>orange chicken on a stick. You give me step to

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<v Speaker 2>get Taco Bell. I know, but I but I go

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<v Speaker 2>shopping too. I go to the Apple Store and stuff

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<v Speaker 2>like that. Yeah, park my car up there right at

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<v Speaker 2>the the you know area where the Apple Store is,

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<v Speaker 2>and do a little walking around the mall, see the

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<v Speaker 2>people over you know, Missus Fields or the Hot Topic,

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<v Speaker 2>hang out and say hi to my friends at Hot Topic.

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<v Speaker 2>So Chelsea goes, you're not on your way home. She

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<v Speaker 2>notices because you got to find my on there, And uh,

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<v Speaker 2>I used to get busted all the time, even before

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<v Speaker 2>find my was on there where you could track and

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<v Speaker 2>see where you're going. I get busted by the smell.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'd come home and back in the day, we

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<v Speaker 2>used to be closer to work, you know, like it

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<v Speaker 2>was twelve minutes or something, and I would go through

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<v Speaker 2>the drive through of McDonald's or go through the drive

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<v Speaker 2>through sometimes at you know, Chipotle, and I would eat

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<v Speaker 2>really quick, and then I would stop off at the

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<v Speaker 2>shell station, which is right there by my house, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'd dump the garbage in there, and then I'd come

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<v Speaker 2>home and I'd give Chelsea a hug to say, hey, honey,

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<v Speaker 2>had a great day to go. You smell like fries?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you do that?

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<v Speaker 2>I want to know if there are any listeners that

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<v Speaker 2>do this. I want to know if you are the

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<v Speaker 2>type of listener that you sneak after work and go somewhere.

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<v Speaker 2>And where do you sneak to? Because there are other places.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't have to be food. Alta might be one

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<v Speaker 2>of those places.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, you would never find me lying about going

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<v Speaker 4>to TJ Max or home when whenever I tell Wes

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<v Speaker 4>I'm running errands, he thinks it's legit, and now he

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<v Speaker 4>knows it's it's so good TJX.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, Dad, if I if she knew you were no,

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<v Speaker 2>if I said to her, I'm going to the mall,

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<v Speaker 2>she would say, what do you need now? Like would

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<v Speaker 2>be one of those things, but she would not No,

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<v Speaker 2>she wouldn't care. But it was one of those things

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<v Speaker 2>where I can't tell you what I was shamed about.

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<v Speaker 2>I was shamed about because I got on the scale

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<v Speaker 2>and I gained like five or six pounds, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was shaming, and I told her, I said, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>start watching what I eat during the day, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna make sure I just folk it because I'm you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I've been really good.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been losing weight and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I realized, but I didn't want all of

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<v Speaker 2>a sudden the day after I said I'm gonna watch

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<v Speaker 2>what I eat, saying I'm going to the food court

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<v Speaker 2>of the mall.

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<v Speaker 5>Is it ever a situation where you know she might

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<v Speaker 5>not like it, so you bring her something?

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<v Speaker 1>Beat?

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<v Speaker 2>If I do the drive through on the way home,

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<v Speaker 2>what I'll do is I'll say I have a craving

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<v Speaker 2>and she'll go, what do you have a craving for?

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<v Speaker 1>And I'll tell her and she goes.

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<v Speaker 2>I do too, like jumping on it because I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like this softens the blow. Yeah, oh, you got to

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<v Speaker 2>bring something home. But there's just so fun. Yeah, fat

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<v Speaker 2>I honestly admission here, fat guy admission. Sometimes I would

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<v Speaker 2>like to go eat before I eat, because then I

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<v Speaker 2>eat less when I'm at home and it makes me

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<v Speaker 2>look like I'm being good. So sometimes I actually, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes I'll go Chipotle three hard tacos. They do that,

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<v Speaker 2>they give you the three they have three taco pack

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<v Speaker 2>and I get three hard tacos. I'll eat those as

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<v Speaker 2>kind of an appetizer your day. Yeah, and I'll eat

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<v Speaker 2>those and then I'll go home. You know, if it's

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<v Speaker 2>a late day, like five o'clock, well you're gonna sit

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<v Speaker 2>down and eat dinner, and then I'll be like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna have the potatoes tonight. I think I want

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<v Speaker 1>to stay. And they all look at me like what

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<v Speaker 1>and Chelsea in her heads like.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I used to throw the garbage away in my

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<v Speaker 2>garbage cans. So we have garbage cans up by our house.

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<v Speaker 2>And the problem was then at the end of dinner,

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<v Speaker 2>when you're cleaning up, you have to be the one

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<v Speaker 2>to take the garbage out so that you don't see

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<v Speaker 2>the on top McDonald's best.

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<v Speaker 4>Everybody in my house, by the way, when I take

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<v Speaker 4>out the garbage, I'm like, oh, healthy West, was that culver?

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<v Speaker 1>The evidence is.

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<v Speaker 2>In the garbage, and it's tough because you're throwing away

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<v Speaker 2>a or this happens to me. You're throwing away like

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<v Speaker 2>the bag from McDonald's and then the garbage guys shout

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<v Speaker 2>out priority waste.

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<v Speaker 1>Ninety nine point nine.

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<v Speaker 2>Percent of the time, you guys do a decent job

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<v Speaker 2>until you actually Sometimes will leave my McDonald's bag in

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<v Speaker 2>the bottom right at the bottom of a can.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't get it all completely cleaned out. I love you.

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<v Speaker 2>Still call it the cayne. You gotta got the flip

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<v Speaker 2>lit on the top of the can.

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<v Speaker 1>We call it a bin.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not your garbage can, which they don't call it

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<v Speaker 2>a garbage bin.

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<v Speaker 1>They call it a.

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<v Speaker 2>Garbage can, a trash ben. What's up, Anita?

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<v Speaker 1>How you doing good? I Needa? Where are you sneaking

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<v Speaker 1>off to after work? The casino? Which one do you

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<v Speaker 1>go to?

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<v Speaker 6>It just depends on what floats my boat. Really, I

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<v Speaker 6>kind of go buy all of them because I take

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<v Speaker 6>ninety four to two or from work, and I don't

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<v Speaker 6>do it so much anymore. I used to do it,

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<v Speaker 6>but construction and crap has made it harder now.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, oh, traffic sucks.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm just gonna stop at the casino and say, I

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<v Speaker 6>listen traffic. And I would do it on the way

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<v Speaker 6>to work too, if I got up really early, and

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<v Speaker 6>I'd be like laying there in red and I go.

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<v Speaker 6>You know, I could get up and stop at the

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<v Speaker 6>casino on the way to work.

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<v Speaker 2>You are an addiction, by the way, I call one

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<v Speaker 2>eight hundred gambler there.

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<v Speaker 6>Anita, I don't do it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>I gave it up.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what, though, that I do hear you. There's

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<v Speaker 2>something relaxing about just sitting in there and king king.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly. I get it. I like that, Angela. Where do

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<v Speaker 1>you sneak off to.

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<v Speaker 3>Sneak I sneak off to McDonald's.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll look at you. Do you get what's border.

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<v Speaker 2>Coke?

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<v Speaker 1>And what's that? You know? That's just a good little Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's nothing. That's nothing for you.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm telling you, A good sure box of McDonald fries

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<v Speaker 5>is like top five meals of all time if they

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<v Speaker 5>make it the right way with the nice salt proportion,

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<v Speaker 5>Like a good McDonald fry can sick and they have.

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<v Speaker 1>To cook it just right.

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<v Speaker 2>If they undercook him, which I got recently, I was

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<v Speaker 2>really passed limp.

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<v Speaker 1>FROs by the way. I did not realize.

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<v Speaker 2>I did not realize that a small McDonald's fry still

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<v Speaker 2>comes in the small little pack the paper ones.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you ordering small McDonald fry? Exactly right. You do

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<v Speaker 1>it right. I shouldn't be ordering a small one.

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<v Speaker 4>Have you seen how cute the little fry boxes in

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<v Speaker 4>the Happy Meal?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Are they little teenies? Because they're little?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, they're like half the size of the small area.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, all that Alexis does. Forget the casino and McDonald's.

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<v Speaker 2>Where do you sneak off to after work?

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<v Speaker 3>Well?

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<v Speaker 6>My husband is He thinks I don't need it, but

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<v Speaker 6>he's quite a bit younger, so he may not know.

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<v Speaker 6>But I sneak off and get botox.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, look at you? For you, he knows a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit you. Most guys don't really knock. He don't. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't look different.

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<v Speaker 7>No, getting its gradual, so it's weeks to take it.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, okay, all right, we'll keep it for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, thank you, bye, And the same as botox?

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<v Speaker 1>Jen. Where do you sneak off to after work? Jen?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi? Where do you sneak off to?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>I would like take a vacation day, but not tell

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<v Speaker 3>anybody that I was taking a vacation day. And I

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<v Speaker 3>would leave my house like I was going to work,

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<v Speaker 3>and then I would go do like a massage or

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<v Speaker 3>go to that float spa, go grab lunch where I

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<v Speaker 3>wanted to.

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<v Speaker 1>Go, Like, I like the taking a vacation there.

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<v Speaker 7>Wow, because you always take vacation day and you're doing

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<v Speaker 7>stuff around the house or you feel like you have

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<v Speaker 7>to do stuff around the house. So it was kind

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<v Speaker 7>of the only way I could go do that and

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<v Speaker 7>not feel guilty.

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<v Speaker 5>Do you because the only thing that I love, every

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<v Speaker 5>single thing about this, but I don't want to wake

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<v Speaker 5>up at the same time.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the only thing that would throw me.

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<v Speaker 5>Do you still wake up at the same time or

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<v Speaker 5>prepare like you're going to work or do you just

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<v Speaker 5>say I'm going.

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<v Speaker 7>In and do but then I use no, I do,

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<v Speaker 7>but then I would go get like treat myself to

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<v Speaker 7>a lot of Hey, I would just make it a

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<v Speaker 7>whole day for me.

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<v Speaker 3>That's all the things I love, Like, I think everybody

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<v Speaker 3>should try that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's good, that is a great one. What happens though,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I got disconnected with her. I was gonna say,

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<v Speaker 2>what happens though? If your your husband or your family

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<v Speaker 2>calls work to see how you're doing it, doesn't call

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<v Speaker 2>your cell phone or can't get a hold of you

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<v Speaker 2>when you're getting that hour massage, they freak out.

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<v Speaker 1>Go to work and don't know your car's not there?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, warder Roses, Hold on, tea, we're talking about

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<v Speaker 2>sneaking off after work.

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<v Speaker 1>Where do you sneak off to after work?

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<v Speaker 6>I go sneak up, I sea currents?

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<v Speaker 1>You what's that spicy time?

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<v Speaker 2>You support it?

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<v Speaker 1>You go get spicy time? What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 7>It's PG for baking cookie?

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<v Speaker 1>Wait? And who are you doing this with the side

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<v Speaker 1>of course you wait? Oh, I don't support it.

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<v Speaker 2>You're speaking in uh in code, Harry. She goes and wait,

0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.920
<v Speaker 2>you're a married woman and you go to sneak off

0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.400
<v Speaker 2>and get sex from your side piece?

0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:32.800
<v Speaker 1>Yes? Oh te hold oh now I know why she's voices. Guys. Wow,

0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:34.199
<v Speaker 1>how long has this been going on?

0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:37.240
<v Speaker 4>Realistic?

0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.760
<v Speaker 6>If I'm not lying over a couple.

0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:43.320
<v Speaker 2>Of months, that's craziness. Aren't you worried you're gonna get caught.

0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.439
<v Speaker 2>There's no way that they can catch it.

0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:47.640
<v Speaker 6>You go out of town?

0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:53.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, next city over? You know, how'd you find this

0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:54.160
<v Speaker 1>spicy time?

0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:55.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:57.000
<v Speaker 6>I've been telling the person.

0:10:57.880 --> 0:10:58.880
<v Speaker 1>Do they know your husband?

0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:00.280
<v Speaker 7>Yep?

0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh lord, oh lord, have mercy.

0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:08.720
<v Speaker 6>Before I never tryed to be it was a girl.

0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:14.360
<v Speaker 1>And babyes. Wow, all r a T. Will you behave yourself?

0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:18.320
<v Speaker 2>That's not good, that isn't that.

0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:22.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to McDonald's