Speaker 1: Oh, there we go. I thought it was me. Okay,
Speaker 1: no problem.
Speaker 2: It's Saturday night on a wintery, blistery, cold, slushy, snowy,
Speaker 2: traffic y night. But we're all here, Donnade with Sterling.
Speaker 2: Sterling is actually staying with me until midnight.
Speaker 1: Yep, what are you gonna do? Exactly? Parking lot that's
Speaker 1: wide open, if I could find one, I'll be all right.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 2: We've been on air for the last three hours and
Speaker 2: hopefully people aren't so sick of us tonight. We have
Speaker 2: in the studio braved the roads to get here.
Speaker 1: I can't even believe it.
Speaker 2: I guess you can call this an emergency, but I
Speaker 2: am very happy to that you're here. My buddy, Lisa Riker,
Speaker 2: we've been friends for over thirty years. Yea, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: I cannot believe it. She's been a buddy of mine
Speaker 2: forever and ever. And we're talking about a topic that
Speaker 2: is that's affected both of us because you retired this
Speaker 2: year I did, and we also have in the studio
Speaker 2: Nate Young, former retired Cincinnati police officer that's very passionate
Speaker 2: about this subject on retirement. I wanted you both to
Speaker 2: come in to talk about it. Nate, you've been retired?
Speaker 2: Has it been two years? How come we can hear?
Speaker 1: Well, there you go December twenty three. There you go.
Speaker 2: Okay, So yeah, two years it's been so okay. And Lisa,
Speaker 2: you just retired this year, and I know you don't
Speaker 2: like that word, and we're going to get into why
Speaker 2: you don't like that word. But first of all, how
Speaker 2: has your year been? And what was the scariest part
Speaker 2: of retiring?
Speaker 1: Oh? I love that question.
Speaker 3: First of all, I have to comment on what you
Speaker 3: said when you just introduced me that we've both gone
Speaker 3: through it, because it's true. I feel like I've drug
Speaker 3: my group of friends through this whole process with me,
Speaker 3: and it's a journey actually, and a fun one that
Speaker 3: we've been on together. All the highs and lows that
Speaker 3: you've gone through with me. The year has been fantastic,
Speaker 3: I have to say. I mean, I've had unfortunately a
Speaker 3: little hiccup with a little shoulder surgery I had to have,
Speaker 3: so that kind of like held back some of the
Speaker 3: travel that I wanted to do. But it's been a
Speaker 3: fantastic year and I think that it's because of how
Speaker 3: I approached looking at retirement that it wasn't something that
Speaker 3: was ending. It's a beginning. It's a new adventure that
Speaker 3: I'm embarking on. I look at it as hey, I'm
Speaker 3: in my third act. You've got this one ride around
Speaker 3: the sun, and let's go what are we going to
Speaker 3: do with it?
Speaker 1: Sterlinge.
Speaker 2: Let's be honest, we're all in the back night well,
Speaker 2: and in this group, we're all in the back nine year.
Speaker 1: So I don't like the way that sounds at all.
Speaker 2: Back nine well, at least in the mid fifties, that's
Speaker 2: your back nine run.
Speaker 1: The like what would we call it? The door I'm
Speaker 1: not going to get a likelihood of hitting one hundreds rare,
Speaker 1: is what you're saying. Well, yeah, that's exactly what I'm das.
Speaker 1: Probably not helping me.
Speaker 2: You're right, Nate, I want you to I want you
Speaker 2: to jump in here because I know you're passionate about it.
Speaker 2: What is the first thing people should know if they're
Speaker 2: thinking about retiring or maybe what do you wish you
Speaker 2: knew before you went on this journey of retirement? Because
Speaker 2: there are people that are very afraid to retire. There's
Speaker 2: a lot of fear around it, and there's also people
Speaker 2: that can't absolutely can't wait for the day to retire.
Speaker 4: Well, for the record, I was in the category you
Speaker 4: cannot wait for retirement. Okay, I was built for retirement,
Speaker 4: is what I told people when they ask me.
Speaker 1: Is it because of your profession?
Speaker 2: Because it's so stressful, I'm guessing because you're a former
Speaker 2: Cincinnati police officer.
Speaker 4: I think there's yeah, some of that is definitely packaged
Speaker 4: in there. I think we all have stressors in our profession.
Speaker 4: I don't think that first responders are unique to that,
Speaker 4: so I would like to acknowledge that that everybody has
Speaker 4: that in their profession.
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 4: I feel like, somewhere along the line, as it was
Speaker 4: clear what was going to happen I was going to retire,
Speaker 4: I challenged myself to reset mentally and start trying to
Speaker 4: wrap my mind around that and kind of figure out
Speaker 4: how that's going to look for me. And yeah, so
Speaker 4: I felt like I paid that path. I was the
Speaker 4: first one of my friend group to retire. And so
Speaker 4: now I'm looking back at my friends and kind of
Speaker 4: trying to give them some ideas about what it looked
Speaker 4: like for me and the trip. The trip wires that
Speaker 4: I stumbled across and things that were different and difficult
Speaker 4: for me and try to you know, help it, I guess,
Speaker 4: flatten the curve for them and get them in a
Speaker 4: better place earlier, probably before you retire. It would be awesome.
Speaker 4: Rather than get in that better place after you retire.
Speaker 4: Let's not sacrifice seven, eight, nine, ten years of our
Speaker 4: life as we approached retire and wait to get to
Speaker 4: retirement to have you know, that that mental change and
Speaker 4: really reset, so to speak. And that's that's what I'm
Speaker 4: very passionate about. I've got a couple of friends that
Speaker 4: are approaching retirement. One that thinks he's retired but isn't.
Speaker 4: Dear my one of my best friends in the world,
Speaker 4: my younger brother, he's getting ready to retire and just
Speaker 4: trying to you know, like to pass on things to
Speaker 4: make it easier for them and get them into a
Speaker 4: place where I'm at now two years after I retired,
Speaker 4: before they retire earlier.
Speaker 1: So the what I witnessed from other people is not
Speaker 1: having a purpose or a reason and seemingly stressful and
Speaker 1: maybe even depressing in some cases once they've gotten to
Speaker 1: the point of where they think they've reached, you know, oh,
Speaker 1: freedom now, and then then they do that trip around
Speaker 1: the you know, the world, They go to Australia wherever
Speaker 1: it is, and they come home and they're like, now,
Speaker 1: what did you have a plan and an idea and
Speaker 1: understanding of what you wanted to do and a purpose
Speaker 1: and a reason? Because that after having aside from the
Speaker 1: stressful nature of the job as a first responder and
Speaker 1: seeing people on their best day rarely often their worst day,
Speaker 1: sometimes that's a lot of carrying a burden for you emotionally.
Speaker 1: A lot of times it's hard to show that the
Speaker 1: decompressing of that period after has got to be something
Speaker 1: difficult for some I don't know, some people maybe navigated differently.
Speaker 1: But how did you figure that out? Or have you
Speaker 1: figured it out? Aside from the fact that your buddies
Speaker 1: are now watching you as you're saying, trying to help
Speaker 1: them walk to it, Wow, you're pushing all the buttons tonight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so welcome to my Yeah.
Speaker 4: So you know, I felt like in my prime of
Speaker 4: my career, I was probably handling the stress. There's stressors
Speaker 4: of law enforcement first responders at a out of a ten,
Speaker 4: ten being perfect like a seven and a half maybe
Speaker 4: an eight. Once I was removed from the job, I
Speaker 4: realized I was probably operating at like a four. Thank goodness,
Speaker 4: my wife is a rock star, and she was just
Speaker 4: you know, dealing with all the bs that I was
Speaker 4: dealing with. You know that came out in short temperedness
Speaker 4: and cynicism and just grumpy and detached from wanting to
Speaker 4: do things. You know, there's still some things that linger. Like,
Speaker 4: you know, I don't ask her to go to her
Speaker 4: place of employment for a Friday air Saturday night. Don't
Speaker 4: ask me to go downtown and hang out on a
Speaker 4: Friday air Saturday night, because that was my office, that's
Speaker 4: where I worked, That's where I did my work. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, it took me probably the better
Speaker 4: part of a year to realize that, yeah, I wasn't
Speaker 4: operating at the high level of managing all of that
Speaker 4: that I thought I was. And going back to the
Speaker 4: conversation just a few minutes ago, I want that to
Speaker 4: be different for the people that I care about. One
Speaker 4: of my good friends, my one of my my probably
Speaker 4: my best friend, my brother and my other brothers getting
Speaker 4: ready to retire, to two of my best friends, and
Speaker 4: so I just wanted to be different for them, and
Speaker 4: that's kind of how do I do that? Well, hopefully
Speaker 4: you guys got some answers about that tonight.
Speaker 1: A lot time.
Speaker 2: We're talking about it right now, Dona d was Sterling
Speaker 2: talking to Nate Young, retired Cincinnati police officer, my buddy
Speaker 2: Lisa of thirty years. We're talking about retirement because this
Speaker 2: is coming up a lot, a lot for me, A
Speaker 2: lot of my friends are doing it. Lisa is one
Speaker 2: of them who just retired. I think you haven't even
Speaker 2: been a year, has it, Lisa? No, it's just the
Speaker 2: beginning of March.
Speaker 1: The beginning of March. So it's been a journey. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nine ten months, it has been a journey.
Speaker 2: Three five one, three seven, four nine seven one, eight hundred,
Speaker 2: the big one.
Speaker 1: Have you been thinking about retiring?
Speaker 2: What is the scariest thing about retiring for you?
Speaker 1: For me, I'm like.
Speaker 2: Willie Nelson, who's still on the road at ninety two, right.
Speaker 1: He's like, what do I have to retire from?
Speaker 2: I'm playing music with my friends, I'm going out and chilling,
Speaker 2: and you know, I'm kind of like, all right, Sterling, we.
Speaker 1: We love our job. Here. It's let's be honest. What
Speaker 1: are we going to drive? It was what they paid
Speaker 1: me for tonight. All right, this is free. It's all
Speaker 1: the preparation for it. Well, and that's the thing. I
Speaker 1: have friends that are getting close to it, and I
Speaker 1: can't imagine not doing this or something like it. And
Speaker 1: there's a lot of different things to be able to
Speaker 1: do in this realm as far as communication or you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know being a creative. I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: This week, Oh you're a creator, I guess I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm creating really trouble sometimes, But I've seen
Speaker 1: what happens with a couple of my friend's fathers who
Speaker 1: when they retired, they did not have a purpose, and
Speaker 1: you could tell it was brutal on them. I do
Speaker 1: not want to be in that situation where I don't
Speaker 1: have a reason. I don't have a purpose. I you know,
Speaker 1: I talked to me, Oh, I'm bored, and as a
Speaker 1: kid growing up this, well, you have no imagination. How
Speaker 1: can you possibly be bored? I don't want to be bored.
Speaker 1: And I find it difficult to imagine that I'm ever
Speaker 1: going to be in a place where I don't have
Speaker 1: a reason. If I do, then I've done something wrong.
Speaker 1: At least I say that. Now we'll find out, however
Speaker 1: long it takes. Sometimes they retire when you don't want to.
Speaker 2: Lisa, what do you think the hard part is about
Speaker 2: stepping away? I mean, you stopped making the money that
Speaker 2: you were making. You had a pretty good job, and
Speaker 2: you know, the health insurance was a big deal for you.
Speaker 2: We talked about that a lot since March. What do
Speaker 2: you think the biggest thing is?
Speaker 3: You know, the biggest thing is financial, I think, but
Speaker 3: you can prepare for that. And I will say this,
Speaker 3: like in my early fifties, you've heard this story, Donna,
Speaker 3: the CPA that I was working with at the time
Speaker 3: is the one that really changed my life and said,
Speaker 3: what the heck are you doing? You're traveling, you're working
Speaker 3: all these different places. You got a home here, you've
Speaker 3: got a home there. You know, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: You know what's your plan? I'm like, well, I guess
Speaker 3: I don't really have one. And when I put that
Speaker 3: plan in place financially, by the time I arrived at retirement,
Speaker 3: I was prepared for it and it gave me the
Speaker 3: freedom to make the choices that I wanted to make.
Speaker 3: And as far as like sterling, what you were talking about,
Speaker 3: like what am I going to do to have a purpose?
Speaker 3: I left knowing that there's going to be something else
Speaker 3: out there.
Speaker 1: You know. I had an.
Speaker 3: Idea of what the day to day because to your point,
Speaker 3: you're not always traveling the world. You got to come
Speaker 3: home at some point and then what does your day
Speaker 3: look like.
Speaker 1: I actually thought that's what you were going to say.
Speaker 1: That's why I asked you that question.
Speaker 2: I thought it was going to be not having a purpose,
Speaker 2: because that would be mine. That would be the hardest
Speaker 2: thing for me to retire, would be not having a purpose.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I guess I've always known in the back
Speaker 3: of my mind that I was going to go on
Speaker 3: to do something else. And that's why I call it
Speaker 3: the third act. I'm not retired. I'm just going on
Speaker 3: to the next thing. I'm retired from the corporate world,
Speaker 3: right and that high pressure sales quota hanging over my head.
Speaker 3: It's been nice to have some relief from that. I mean,
Speaker 3: I love my mornings now when I go get that
Speaker 3: cup of coffee, my espresso, I'm like just chilling with
Speaker 3: my dog. I go for a walk, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: all those other suckers are out there trying to make
Speaker 3: their number.
Speaker 1: But I please, I don't have time to talk. I
Speaker 1: have four zooms. Today. She's like whatever, i'ven't seen her.
Speaker 1: She's been wild and free.
Speaker 2: Tell me about the first morning after retirement.
Speaker 1: What was that like?
Speaker 3: Well, your twin gave me a coffee mug that said
Speaker 3: retirement on it and it said I can do. The
Speaker 3: checklist was I can do whatever the hell I want.
Speaker 1: Boom, And that was the start of my day.
Speaker 3: I think I probably sent you guys photos with everything
Speaker 3: that I was doing that day that had nothing.
Speaker 1: To do with work. Probably took a walk, I mean
Speaker 1: the relief. Actually, you know what, I packed up my car.
Speaker 1: That's right. I forgot about this.
Speaker 3: I packed up my car and I went to visit
Speaker 3: my friends in Tampa for about three weeks and stayed
Speaker 3: in a condo, you know, walked along the beach, walked
Speaker 3: along the bay, visited with friends and kind of checked out.
Speaker 3: I was ready to come back because I had all
Speaker 3: kinds of projects, you know, that I wanted to do
Speaker 3: around the house and that kind of thing, and was
Speaker 3: looking forward to that.
Speaker 1: But I'm loving having the space. I'm reading.
Speaker 3: I got out my watercolors. I attempted guitar. I nea
Speaker 3: Donna to help me with that. Oh and I bought
Speaker 3: the turntable.
Speaker 1: That's right, she's a new DJ. She's the old DJ.
Speaker 2: We used to be sterling with two turntables and a microphone.
Speaker 1: Yeah really, yeah, yeah kidding.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited about it, trying all these vintage albums,
Speaker 3: and you know, all of a sudden, when you have space,
Speaker 3: the creativity creeps in and the ideas creep in, and
Speaker 3: I would say this, you really want to check it
Speaker 3: all out, you know, and then you figure out where
Speaker 3: you're going to land. So I've just created that space
Speaker 3: for myself to have the adventure and know what it's
Speaker 3: going to look like, you know, figure out what it's
Speaker 3: going to look like. It's kind of calming. It's forming
Speaker 3: right now as far as what's going to happen in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1: And what's interesting is that our parents and the generations
Speaker 1: before them, it was usually one act and that the career,
Speaker 1: and then we didn't live as long, we did not
Speaker 1: live as well, and we had a different view. And
Speaker 1: now people our age and younger, it's two or three
Speaker 1: different careers. Like you say, the next thing, a third
Speaker 1: act is what you said to Nate. And the fact is,
Speaker 1: you know, you may do a couple of part time
Speaker 1: things that end up being a full thing. You follow
Speaker 1: your passion or whatever it is. You know, you want
Speaker 1: to get that money first, whatever. You know, Hopefully you
Speaker 1: wake up and want to go. You want to you know,
Speaker 1: stay there when you're there, and hopefully you're not leaving going.
Speaker 1: I never want to go back to that crab hole
Speaker 1: again or whatever. Right, But multiple acts and living longer,
Speaker 1: and I think that's really the trick. I mean, And
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're enjoying it, Nate. You two, I mean,
Speaker 1: early on in it or otherwise. I mean, you both
Speaker 1: look happy and when you're talking about it, your eyes
Speaker 1: light up, your face is champing.
Speaker 2: Both.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's an amazing thing to see because I mean,
Speaker 1: you can't hide that. You can fake a lot of things.
Speaker 1: You can fake intimidation, you can fake confidence. But the
Speaker 1: happiness and the glean in the eye when you start
Speaker 1: talking about that freedom, that's not faking. You can't do that,
Speaker 1: I don't think, or if you can, you're way better
Speaker 1: than I No.
Speaker 4: Uh, yeah, I just it's it's it's been awesome. It's
Speaker 4: just been awesome. I you know, there's a few things
Speaker 4: that come to mind. When Lisa was talking and we
Speaker 4: had had a conversation about Uh, when I got on
Speaker 4: the Cincinative Police Department, I knew that was my that
Speaker 4: was where I was going to retire from. That's just
Speaker 4: your calling. Yeah, I just I don't know if it's
Speaker 4: I just knew it was going to be. Well, I
Speaker 4: was going to retire from these young kids. Now they're
Speaker 4: We're not. I'm not going to make retirement with this
Speaker 4: at this job. I'm going to do something different. I'm like, well, well,
Speaker 4: where do you go with that kind of experience? Where
Speaker 4: does that parlay into the professional work or whatever. So, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just to your point, it seems that there's a
Speaker 4: people are moving on to various acts throughout their professional career,
Speaker 4: and that kind of is the trend versus when we
Speaker 4: started where we started, That's where we ended for the
Speaker 4: most part.
Speaker 1: Right, I like looking at it that way.
Speaker 2: The third act, when we get back, I do want
Speaker 2: to ask you the hardest part about you stepping away,
Speaker 2: because I want to know what that is.
Speaker 1: Nate.
Speaker 2: Plus, we're going to get into the city gritty on
Speaker 2: how much money.
Speaker 1: Does it take to retire?
Speaker 2: We are going to talk about that five one, three, seven, four, nine,
Speaker 2: seven thousand. If you want to weigh in and talk
Speaker 2: about the scariest thing about retirement for you, or if
Speaker 2: you have any questions for Nate and Lisa's Donna D
Speaker 2: Saturday Night with Sterling, my partner. On this winter blistery,
Speaker 2: cold Cincinnati night, We're going to get news and weather
Speaker 2: coming up and hopefully the snow will stop.
Speaker 1: Don A D seven hundred WLW Cincinnati.
Speaker 2: Welcome back Donna D along with my co host Sterling.
Speaker 2: Normally this is that little crazy show I do on
Speaker 2: Saturday nights about relationship. Sterling, I wanted you to stay,
Speaker 2: not only because you can't get home, but because you're
Speaker 2: forced to.
Speaker 1: Hang out with me on this snowy and if we
Speaker 1: have to walk to us. You make it sound that
Speaker 1: this is not a like a combative. That is combative
Speaker 1: and not like something we appreciate each other's work.
Speaker 5: Again, no, I do in our fourth hour on air
Speaker 5: to long time, I Love you, Love You.
Speaker 2: We also have my buddy for thirty years, Lisa Reikert,
Speaker 2: who we're talking about retirement. This is kind of a
Speaker 2: subject that's been appearing in my life for a long time.
Speaker 1: And it's not only uh. It takes a toll.
Speaker 2: On on on people around you because you change, Lisa,
Speaker 2: when you make the decision to retire, a lot of
Speaker 2: things change in your life.
Speaker 1: What would you say is the biggest?
Speaker 2: And Nate, I want to get to you right after this,
Speaker 2: but what is the biggest thing that changes when you
Speaker 2: decide it's your time to step away?
Speaker 1: Oh geez, you didn't prepare me for this one. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I was going to go right to Nate, and then
Speaker 2: I started talking to you, like for you don't have
Speaker 2: a glass of wine.
Speaker 3: You know, I guess I would say that you don't
Speaker 3: know all the answers you.
Speaker 1: It's like.
Speaker 3: You asked me the hardest part, and I think the
Speaker 3: hardest part is financial. But the biggest thing that happened
Speaker 3: was that I realized I stepped out of the boat
Speaker 3: in the middle of the ocean and I wasn't standing
Speaker 3: on anything, you know, I'm just out here floating, going, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: what is next? But I did that on purpose because
Speaker 3: I wanted to give myself the space to figure out
Speaker 3: what was coming. I had some ideas of what it
Speaker 3: could look like, but I didn't want to be one
Speaker 3: hundred percent. You and I talk about Stephen Bartlett all
Speaker 3: the time in the fifty one percent rule, and it's
Speaker 3: never going to be one hundred percent. When you are
Speaker 3: fifty one percent sure that you're there, you've got to
Speaker 3: take steps in the direction to start getting answers. The
Speaker 3: knowledge comes when you start moving towards something. And I
Speaker 3: knew that I was okay financially to be able to
Speaker 3: take the plunge, and I knew I had an idea
Speaker 3: of what each day could look like, but I was
Speaker 3: okay with not knowing exactly for sure.
Speaker 2: And so it's fun almost. It's fun, is throwing what's
Speaker 2: coming up next?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It is, really, It is very fun. And I surprise
Speaker 3: myself about how when you talk about change, I feel
Speaker 3: like I grew in ways that were just really unexpected
Speaker 3: in a positive way. But I also realize that there's
Speaker 3: one piece of this that is tough to look at, too,
Speaker 3: and that's that if you're looking ahead at your third act,
Speaker 3: you know that you're in your third act, you are
Speaker 3: on the back nine, and so you kind of face
Speaker 3: your mortality. And I didn't realize that I was going
Speaker 3: to see that.
Speaker 2: So some scary stuff in there, some fun stuff in there,
Speaker 2: some exciting stuff in there.
Speaker 1: It's a lot mixed into one.
Speaker 2: And Nate Young, former Cincinnati police officer, you've been on
Speaker 2: the job for thirty one years minus the last two
Speaker 2: years that you've decided to retire. What was the hardest
Speaker 2: part for you about stepping away? Was it you know,
Speaker 2: the you know the craziness of being a police officer
Speaker 2: for thirty one years?
Speaker 1: Is it missing your buddies? What is it? Wow, that's
Speaker 1: a deep one. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I miss I miss my co workers. They're you know,
Speaker 4: despite what sometimes how we get painted. Ninety nine point
Speaker 4: nine percent of those people are great people trying to
Speaker 4: do the right thing, and we get put in a
Speaker 4: lot of precarious and dangerous situations where the fraction of
Speaker 4: a fraction of a second we're making decisions about, you know,
Speaker 4: whether we live or die or maybe someone else does.
Speaker 4: And so, you know, I miss them and I miss
Speaker 4: you know, I miss their camaraderie and the fun that
Speaker 4: we had at work.
Speaker 1: We had a lot of fun.
Speaker 2: I love that he called them coworkers police officers ken
Speaker 2: and also we look at them that this was like,
Speaker 2: you know, they're the people that keep us safe most often,
Speaker 2: and he says, my co workers.
Speaker 1: I just found that funny. So so okay, So was
Speaker 1: that the hardest part.
Speaker 4: Or what was as we talked about a little bit earlier,
Speaker 4: it was it was unburned. It was unpacking and unburning
Speaker 4: myself with the stressor of the job, the stresses of
Speaker 4: the job that I thought I was handling really well,
Speaker 4: and come to find out, I probably wasn't handling them
Speaker 4: as well as I thought. And that was kind of
Speaker 4: where I where I fell short and preparing. And then
Speaker 4: it took me, you know, about a year to figure out,
Speaker 4: do some self self awareness and some self checks and
Speaker 4: kind of be honest with myself that I didn't do
Speaker 4: a great job and I probably wasn't doing as good
Speaker 4: as I thought I was. After retirement, and went on
Speaker 4: a road trip with one of my best friends and
Speaker 4: he's trying to step out of his career field of
Speaker 4: being a realtor and he's just he's a he's just
Speaker 4: probably one of the best, if not the best, in
Speaker 4: the city. And uh, he thinks he's semi retired, but
Speaker 4: he's still chest deep in the pool. And we had
Speaker 4: that conversation about in our career field of law enforcement,
Speaker 4: we have a couple of different operating level and one
Speaker 4: is red. You're in the fight. The fight's happening, the
Speaker 4: it with the sh in front of it is happening.
Speaker 4: We're in the middle of it. And you have an
Speaker 4: orange where it's likely to be happening. You're expecting it
Speaker 4: to happen. It's in the shadows, it's coming out yellow.
Speaker 4: We're worried about something happening and we don't see it,
Speaker 4: but maybe it is going to happen. In green is
Speaker 4: your safe space where you should be. So I'm trying
Speaker 4: to maybe I'm still in the yellow a little bit.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to live more in the green. And I
Speaker 4: feel like my good friend was probably still in the
Speaker 4: red and he didn't recognize that, and we had a
Speaker 4: conversation about it, and my thing to him it was,
Speaker 4: you know, try to get there sooner rather than later
Speaker 4: if you're going to retire it, because it's it's It
Speaker 4: benefits you, it benefits your family, it benefits all the
Speaker 4: people around you. You know, I was grumpy, old man
Speaker 4: with a short temper on the job, and I've actually
Speaker 4: the most thing. The thing I'm most proud of post
Speaker 4: retirement is reconnecting with my number one Jamie, your wife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, you're getting emotional about it, and I can
Speaker 2: see an oh.
Speaker 1: And my kids, of course, my kids and everybody around.
Speaker 1: So it took you. It's one of the best things ever,
Speaker 1: by the way, but then you could hear it, and
Speaker 1: that's what it's about, right, That's sort of what you
Speaker 1: work for though, right, is leading up to that opportunity
Speaker 1: to reconnect because you work for them. You may work
Speaker 1: for the community as a police officer or anything else,
Speaker 1: but you're working for your family. You're working for that
Speaker 1: next thing, whatever it is.
Speaker 4: And to do that reconnect and think good as she's
Speaker 4: a saint and she put up with all my crap
Speaker 4: and you know my good days, my okay days, you
Speaker 4: know my bad days, and you know, I just it
Speaker 4: took it. I'm like, wow, I just had to pour
Speaker 4: aside a couple of times and say thanks, Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2: So Nate, I wanted So it took you to get
Speaker 2: some space away from the job to be able to
Speaker 2: even see that you were in the red, that you
Speaker 2: had this level of stress. So what do you think
Speaker 2: your your co could do? I mean, you know, I
Speaker 2: could give them a million to meditate your kind.
Speaker 1: They're not gonna listen to me.
Speaker 2: Maybe they will, but I mean, what, what would you
Speaker 2: tell them a step to do right now so that
Speaker 2: they can step away and see, hey, maybe I'm stressed too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think we've all the police departments across the nation,
Speaker 4: and the Cincinnati Police Department is just a fantastic organization. Probably,
Speaker 4: I know I'm biased, one of the best in the
Speaker 4: country for sure. And there's been a lot of movement
Speaker 4: in the in the path of mental health for the officers,
Speaker 4: and I think the City of Cincinnati Police Department is
Speaker 4: taking that serious. And there's some programs out there and
Speaker 4: some things that are available to officers now that weren't
Speaker 4: available when I first came on. Suck it Up, Buttercup.
Speaker 4: We got the next radio run to go to and
Speaker 4: we're gonna move on. So I think there's awareness about that,
Speaker 4: and I think it's getting better. What can someone personally
Speaker 4: do be president in the moment of your job, and
Speaker 4: you know, look, take it for what it is and
Speaker 4: where you're at in that moment, but you also retirement
Speaker 4: is coming and you've got to get prepared for it mentally.
Speaker 4: Financially and all these other things. So I just it's coming.
Speaker 4: Retirement is coming. Just keep that in mind.
Speaker 1: And for Stirling and I, Sterling and I are going
Speaker 1: to be still on this radio station. Maybe maybe, I hope.
Speaker 1: So yeah.
Speaker 4: So it's just it's a it's yeah, live in the moment,
Speaker 4: being present in the moment of the occupation very important
Speaker 4: for our specific occupation. And then you know that it's coming,
Speaker 4: and work keep that in mind, working that work in
Speaker 4: that direction, so to speak.
Speaker 1: Well, what's interesting is what you said, because I've worked
Speaker 1: in some fashion with guys doing detail work, which is
Speaker 1: different than the everyday job because it's a little bit
Speaker 1: more relaxed generally. No less dangerous, No, no, not definitely,
Speaker 1: not even you know, just with a badge on a belt,
Speaker 1: you know, in a hat in the midst of doing
Speaker 1: the work. But you said something that is really wild.
Speaker 1: I remember as a kid watching like Barney Miller, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, that side life on the street, talking
Speaker 1: to all kinds of guys that have been different levels
Speaker 1: of law enforcement, women too, even FBI crossed the way here.
Speaker 1: They have told me that that in some ways is
Speaker 1: probably the closest to realistic of a situation of working
Speaker 1: in a squad room or whatever else in a situation
Speaker 1: of guys interacting that there could possibly be. But that
Speaker 1: was a kid coming up in the late seventies and
Speaker 1: early eighties. Except for homicide life on the street, and
Speaker 1: I've talked to some murder police in Cincinnati who have
Speaker 1: gotten a lot of attention, like first forty eight and
Speaker 1: that type of thing. But you just mentioned this about
Speaker 1: in the time that you were on the job, coming
Speaker 1: to a point of mental health and balance and getting
Speaker 1: to a healthier place was just becoming something more commonplace
Speaker 1: and looking at it rather than you've been involved in
Speaker 1: a tough engagement. It's been a hot situation. Maybe somebody
Speaker 1: didn't go home or could not have gone home. Well,
Speaker 1: it's the next call. Suck it up, buttercup. Whatever. It's
Speaker 1: taken a long time to go to a place where
Speaker 1: you have to worry about the person because you're doing
Speaker 1: the job. You're better on the job when you're mentally
Speaker 1: and taken care of, and you're better with your family. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, we what do we do?
Speaker 4: We get our oil change in our car everyow three
Speaker 4: thousand and five thousand miles. We get our air ducts
Speaker 4: in our house, blown out, change the filters in the furnace.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.
Speaker 4: The most important part of that CINCINNTI Police Department, or
Speaker 4: the men and the women with their boots on the
Speaker 4: ground in the streets. And although they haven't traditionally done
Speaker 4: a good job with the maintenance on those people, and
Speaker 4: they're people, they're humans, And so how do we get
Speaker 4: better at that within the Cincinnati Police Department? I say
Speaker 4: we I'm not there anymore, but there's still my people
Speaker 4: back there. Of course, how do we get better and
Speaker 4: doing that? And what does that look like? I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'm not that smart, but I want that for them.
Speaker 4: So and I think there's a trend moving in that direction,
Speaker 4: is tracking in that direction. But uh, you know, and
Speaker 4: we're supposed to be tough people, right, We're not supposed
Speaker 4: to have too many emotions. We're not supposed to be
Speaker 4: you know, acknowledged that that shook us up a little bit,
Speaker 4: or that bothered us or whatever. And I think we've
Speaker 4: got to kind of, you know, acknowledge that we got
Speaker 4: break that down a little bit. And it's okay to
Speaker 4: you get upset. It's okay to be upset. You know,
Speaker 4: there's a time and a place. If bullets are flying,
Speaker 4: we can't huddle up and talk about it right then
Speaker 4: and there. We'll have to get through this together. But
Speaker 4: you know, let's let's decompress and talk about a little bit.
Speaker 4: So I think it's trending in that direction where we're
Speaker 4: going to do maintenance on the people, the humans that
Speaker 4: are doing the job, and then that's a good thing.
Speaker 4: How does that look? And who's doing it? It's not me,
Speaker 4: I'm not that smart, but I hope we got some
Speaker 4: people working on it that can do that.
Speaker 1: How many women on the forest that you worked with?
Speaker 4: I know we are trying to get it up to
Speaker 4: about thirty three percent of the force. Probably I'm going
Speaker 4: to guess here in the seven to eight hundred total numbers,
Speaker 4: whatever that number is, we're not there. My partner for
Speaker 4: the last oh jeez, if I get this wrong, I'll
Speaker 4: probably get yelled at by her to six seven eight
Speaker 4: years was a woman, great lady, Kata Warner. She's a
Speaker 4: rock star with another partner of mine, very famous BT
Speaker 4: Green police officer he was. And I've had a lot
Speaker 4: of fe male police officers that I worked with, and
Speaker 4: they are what an asset to the police department. You know,
Speaker 4: you go to a radio run and you got your
Speaker 4: chest pumped out and you want to be tough and
Speaker 4: point your finger out people and tell them how this
Speaker 4: is going to go down, and you probably instigate a
Speaker 4: confrontation because you're you're just a man and that's the
Speaker 4: way it's going to go down. And then you got
Speaker 4: this five foot two nothing little female setting next to
Speaker 4: you that escalates the whole thing and just shuts that
Speaker 4: guy down. And you're like, you know, like, oh, well,
Speaker 4: I guess I could have done that a little bit different,
Speaker 4: a different way to go, And I'm like, this is
Speaker 4: a good thing, right learn. Yeah, So you know, uh,
Speaker 4: you know, the women on the police department are awesome.
Speaker 4: They do a fantastic job. Just it's just a great group.
Speaker 2: They have to be tough too, I mean when you say,
Speaker 2: you know, we're big tough and yeah, I mean that's
Speaker 2: what I was going to say. And we're going to
Speaker 2: talk more about that in a minute, Lisa. Let's get
Speaker 2: to the nitty gritty here, though. How much money do
Speaker 2: you need? I know you are someone that dots her
Speaker 2: eyes crossed or tease, you ask a million questions, you
Speaker 2: prepare yourself for almost everything. I know, you know a number,
Speaker 2: tell us what you know, basically you should have if
Speaker 2: you're going to retire at someone's.
Speaker 1: Say sixty two, sixty three, sixty four.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Donna, you're not going to like my answer because
Speaker 3: it is definitely not about a number. I mean, we're
Speaker 3: all sitting in this room and could require completely different things.
Speaker 3: And so when I go back to talk about the
Speaker 3: financial piece of it and planning for it, there's two
Speaker 3: things that I would say that you need to look
Speaker 3: at it.
Speaker 1: It's not just having.
Speaker 3: A portfolio manager, somebody that's managing your money and where
Speaker 3: it's at and what it's making. It's having somebody that's
Speaker 3: helping you develop a really comprehensive plan because you're looking
Speaker 3: it is unique. Two people are going to have the
Speaker 3: same mortgage or maybe no mortgage, maybe it's rent. Maybe
Speaker 3: they don't have the same plans for what they want
Speaker 3: to do and their retirement, kids and their kids, grandkids.
Speaker 1: What do you want to leave behind?
Speaker 3: You got to work with somebody that's going to put
Speaker 3: all that information into a system that's going to kind
Speaker 3: of calculate that for you. And how many years do
Speaker 3: you have, you know, anticipated by the time that you retire.
Speaker 2: So sorry, but everything would you say, though discussed this,
Speaker 2: we need at least a million.
Speaker 1: You'd think, I mean, you'd hope. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: But everybody I've ever talked to us as you always
Speaker 1: want more just in case. I mean, the leading cause
Speaker 1: of bankruptcy in the United States has been for a
Speaker 1: long time medical cost, and that's increasing too. So that's
Speaker 1: the thing you haven't even gotten into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna have to come back and do one
Speaker 2: more segment on retirement because I want Nate's opinion on
Speaker 2: how much money you need. Plus, since we have this
Speaker 2: cool dynamic, we have a party in the studio here,
Speaker 2: we have too many two women. We have to do
Speaker 2: some battle of this. We haven't done that. That's coming back.
Speaker 2: It's done a D tonight along with my buddy Sterling,
Speaker 2: who's sticking with me in this snowstorm, and Lisa and
Speaker 2: Nate thank you so much for sticking with us as well.
Speaker 2: We'll be back seven hundred w LW Cincinnati Surday night.
Speaker 1: It's done a.
Speaker 2: D along with my co host Sterling, who stayed with me.
Speaker 2: It looks Sterling, I mean, I'm looking out my phone,
Speaker 2: and it looks like we stop snowing.
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean eighteen no second until the end of
Speaker 1: this thought. That was like a subtle hint.
Speaker 2: It's eighteen degrees going to be fourteen maybe ten to
Speaker 2: twelve degrees for the Bengals game tomorrow kickoff?
Speaker 1: Is it one perfect playing Baltimore. They got to win this.
Speaker 1: I mean, they need to win out and they need
Speaker 1: hope like other teams just quitting. Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 5: Mean to be.
Speaker 1: I don't mean to be I'm an optimist. I mean,
Speaker 1: you all know the situation we're in.
Speaker 2: Let's just hope that we can pull a win out
Speaker 2: for tomorrow because it's going to be cold, cold, cold Lee.
Speaker 2: He's a riker, my buddy of thirty years, been in
Speaker 2: the studio with us as well as retired police officer
Speaker 2: Nate Young. It's been an interesting conversation about retirement. We
Speaker 2: all some of us really can't wait for that finish line,
Speaker 2: and some of us don't ever want to get there.
Speaker 1: It's been it's been enlightening for me, Sterling.
Speaker 2: I mean, we're a little ways away for retirement, both
Speaker 2: of us, and we've talked about it. We talked about
Speaker 2: it without knowing anything, how much money we think you
Speaker 2: should have, and that's going to be in the million
Speaker 2: dollar range.
Speaker 1: I think at least that's what we want unless you
Speaker 1: die fast and then and I put it, look at
Speaker 1: it like this, Well, no, I mean I'm planning it.
Speaker 1: I want to end at zero, right, I mean in
Speaker 1: a perfect way to lieve anything left for Enid. I
Speaker 1: mean maybe some charities or something. I have a pet
Speaker 1: turtle who will likely outlive me that I've had since
Speaker 1: I was eight. I got in the woods mushroom hunting
Speaker 1: and prebble and she. I think the oldest in captivity
Speaker 1: is one hundred and fifteen years. So no matter how
Speaker 1: much yoga you get me into, or how much yogurt
Speaker 1: I eat from grease, how much less coffee I consume,
Speaker 1: I'm not making one fifteen so other than taking care
Speaker 1: of her.
Speaker 2: And who would want to just a forty more years
Speaker 2: to pay bills?
Speaker 1: No, thank you, Nate.
Speaker 2: We were talking earlier, right, So Lisa kind of she
Speaker 2: didn't dodge the question on how much money she has
Speaker 2: that I'm asking her to to bulge this in front
Speaker 2: of all of Cincinnati, But how much money you need
Speaker 2: or would feel comfortable that might be the better way
Speaker 2: of saying it to retire because a lot of people, Nate,
Speaker 2: we were just talking about this, A lot of people
Speaker 2: still have to work because of health insurance alone. I mean,
Speaker 2: the big deal in this country and many others is that, hey,
Speaker 2: health insurance. You worked forty hours a week, you get
Speaker 2: a four oh one K, you get health insurance. After
Speaker 2: you retire, that's all gone. So what would you say
Speaker 2: on how much money that someone should plan for?
Speaker 4: Can I phone a friend and that friend would be
Speaker 4: my wife and she would tell me how much money
Speaker 4: I need for retirement. She is the bank of Jamie
Speaker 4: and she keeps.
Speaker 1: The answer is a lot. So I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do much much better than Lisa did.
Speaker 4: I think I'm in a fortunate situation where I draw
Speaker 4: a pension. I feel like that's going to be a
Speaker 4: thing of the past as we move forward.
Speaker 1: I know a couple might.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, at least one is in a career
Speaker 4: field where there's not a pension. It's on him to
Speaker 4: do his four oh one K and all that stuff.
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's a that's a pretty big question with
Speaker 4: a man. I don't I don't know what to say
Speaker 4: A million doesn't seem like enough nowadays, does it.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you're look at we're both nodding our
Speaker 1: head yet, and it depends on how long you expect
Speaker 1: to live and how you want to live, right, do
Speaker 1: you want to be free to roam about the planet?
Speaker 1: Is you're choosing? You know, I want to go to Australia.
Speaker 1: I want to go diving in a great barrier reef
Speaker 1: before it's gone, whatever it is, And that that's really
Speaker 1: the the choices you have to sort of, you know,
Speaker 1: look at and say how much that cost? And health
Speaker 1: care not cheap. It's tough.
Speaker 2: But if you do have twenty after retirement twenty twenty
Speaker 2: five thirty years to live, which a lot of people
Speaker 2: do without you know, an income coming in that that
Speaker 2: would be a little scary for me.
Speaker 1: I would think, definitely.
Speaker 2: So if you've got a pension and you have insurance,
Speaker 2: you're kind of good.
Speaker 4: I feel very blessed in that way that we both
Speaker 4: draw a pension. She's retired from twenty plus years in
Speaker 4: the United States Air Force, so she has a pension.
Speaker 4: Our health care comes from her service. So that was
Speaker 4: we're really good on that. I wish again, circling back
Speaker 4: to trying to pave this path for my good friends
Speaker 4: coming behind me. Is I wish I would have really
Speaker 4: realized that retirement is going to happen. Get your stuff
Speaker 4: together and get it, get it going. I was kind
Speaker 4: of a late bloomer in that sense where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is really going to happen. How do I make
Speaker 4: up some ground here? And things like that, And you know,
Speaker 4: I probably short changed myself and the family a little
Speaker 4: bit by not uh really seeing down the road that
Speaker 4: that clearly. So I, you know, I just it's going
Speaker 4: to happen. Get prepared for Go talk to someone professionally.
Speaker 4: There's with the police department. They do a lot of
Speaker 4: things where you can go to talk to people for
Speaker 4: free and they'll and they'll help you out. And you know,
Speaker 4: law enforcement they want to, you know, help that community.
Speaker 4: And so we have a lot of resources that probably
Speaker 4: a lot of other people pay for that we people
Speaker 4: will just get us started to help us with. So
Speaker 4: there's no reason not to get on top of that early.
Speaker 4: I wish I had done a better job.
Speaker 1: Powerball is a billion dollars, the great Plan. I love it.
Speaker 1: That's my plans.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't happen in corporate either nobody's
Speaker 3: pulling you aside to talk about your retirement to eat
Speaker 3: and and you know what you want it to look like.
Speaker 3: I mean, you really have to lean on mentors. I mean,
Speaker 3: my aunt and uncle had retired before me, but their
Speaker 3: picture looks much different than what you know mine looks like.
Speaker 3: But you have to talk to your friends, which I
Speaker 3: have about, like what is my vision for it? What
Speaker 3: do I need emotionally, what do I need in my
Speaker 3: day to day activity. It's all of it, and we
Speaker 3: do need to be talking about it. And I realized,
Speaker 3: because I was going through it, I really didn't know
Speaker 3: anyone that was my age that was going through the
Speaker 3: exact same thing that I was going through. And I
Speaker 3: leaned on Donna and Claire and our friend Kathy and
Speaker 3: talked with them quite a bit. But it nobody's gonna
Speaker 3: do it for you. I would say, start, if you
Speaker 3: are in your fifties, start looking at it and look
Speaker 3: at what you're spending is to be able to prepare
Speaker 3: for that aspect of it, and then start writing down
Speaker 3: some of the things that you think that you'd like
Speaker 3: to be doing, and you got to put that into
Speaker 3: your plan.
Speaker 1: Too.
Speaker 3: You know, it's exciting. It is something that we should
Speaker 3: look forward to. When you said stuff, Nate, I didn't
Speaker 3: know what you meant by that. You said, I wish
Speaker 3: I would have had my stuff together earlier.
Speaker 1: What did that? What did you mean by stuff?
Speaker 4: I probably might have done a little bit of a
Speaker 4: disservice to this, to the police department in the sense
Speaker 4: that they do put people in front of us that
Speaker 4: talk about preparing for retirement and different accounts, and we
Speaker 4: have some awesome programs uh for retirement for the police officers.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 4: Police officers nature is to kind of rebuff some of that,
Speaker 4: and you know, we're worried about catching bad guys and
Speaker 4: kicking ass and taking names. We don't have time for
Speaker 4: the thought of retirement. And so I just kind.
Speaker 3: Of but do you mean, like what you're going to
Speaker 3: do in contributions?
Speaker 5: Wow, Jesel, these two know each other by the way,
Speaker 5: they're just that strangers fighting right now.
Speaker 4: I personally didn't worry worry about what I was going
Speaker 4: to do in retirement. I'm really good at doing nothing.
Speaker 4: I think I've got that one licked. So I wasn't
Speaker 4: worried about that time. But I knew there would be
Speaker 4: things that would come up. We're not you know, we're
Speaker 4: a pretty active family. We got we got a lake
Speaker 4: life down south in Tennessee that keeps us really busy,
Speaker 4: and we got a lot of things. So I wasn't
Speaker 4: worried about what I was going to do. I feel
Speaker 4: like that would have came to me organically, and it
Speaker 4: kind of has a lot of different personal things have
Speaker 4: happened that have kept me busy some other things. So
Speaker 4: the financial piece, though, ladies and gentlemen, if you're a
Speaker 4: friend of mine and you're listening, get on it early
Speaker 4: and take care of it because it makes it makes
Speaker 4: the world a lot better when you retire and get
Speaker 4: a lot more freedom.
Speaker 1: You know, most people don't have a thousand dollars in
Speaker 1: a just in case like emergency fund. And you know,
Speaker 1: you think, okay, social Security going to be around in
Speaker 1: ten or twenty years, what's that healthcare situation going to be? Like?
Speaker 1: It's getting worse as we speak, going into January now
Speaker 1: for a whole lot of people who buy their you
Speaker 1: know as contractors or independent contractors whatever, buying directly, and
Speaker 1: it's even going up if you have it under the
Speaker 1: umbrella where you work. So if most people don't have
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars put aside in case the worst thing
Speaker 1: happens on the way home tonight. Uh, that was ironic.
Speaker 1: Then you know, certainly the idea of having a million
Speaker 1: or two million or whatever it is that you think
Speaker 1: is going to be necessary to get through ten twenty
Speaker 1: thirty years down the line of a roof over your
Speaker 1: head and being able to take a trip if you
Speaker 1: want to, even if it's not around the world for
Speaker 1: whatever reason or something. That's the trick, Like you said
Speaker 1: at LISTA, now you know the same way it NATed.
Speaker 1: Now is the time because tomorrow never comes.
Speaker 2: But sometimes it's like, I got enough on my plate.
Speaker 2: What am I gonna do think about twenty years from now?
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to think about it. I
Speaker 2: mean even this conversation now has given me, Like you know,
Speaker 2: it's like when we talk about space junk you're loading.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need all this. I have enough
Speaker 1: on my plate. How am I supposed to think about retirement? Donna?
Speaker 3: That night that my CPA, his name's Todd, when he
Speaker 3: had that conversation with me. I was in California working
Speaker 3: and I called him because I said, hey, I haven't
Speaker 3: done my tax returns yet this year and it's April
Speaker 3: and he's like, wait, wait a minute, where are you now?
Speaker 3: And I said, I'm on a project out in California
Speaker 3: and he's like, when you get home, we need to talk.
Speaker 3: And that conversation that I had with him was really
Speaker 3: hard to hear. I mean, he was like, what are
Speaker 3: you doing. You've got this place in Florida, but you're
Speaker 3: living in Cincinnati. Now you're considering moving to California. Lisa,
Speaker 3: I just I'm concerned for you, and take me to
Speaker 3: dinner and we'll chat.
Speaker 1: And it was hard.
Speaker 3: It was hard to listen to Donna, But I'm really
Speaker 3: glad I did because guess what, it helped me make
Speaker 3: decisions about my career going forward. And guess what. I
Speaker 3: didn't change my lifestyle. I just increase my income.
Speaker 2: Right, And you were you were my age at that point,
Speaker 2: so you were in your mid fifties when you when
Speaker 2: you had that conversation, and that kind of puts you
Speaker 2: on track to be able to say, you know, it's
Speaker 2: sixty two, I can retire.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's an.
Speaker 2: Early age too, don't Nate, how old do you mind
Speaker 2: telling me your age.
Speaker 1: By the way, thirty five, my man, he started on
Speaker 1: the early Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a little guy on the way that program.
Speaker 5: Don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: To be fifty eight this April.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you retired at your six fifty six somewhere
Speaker 2: around here.
Speaker 1: So since NAT that's early. Wow.
Speaker 4: Forty eight years of age and twenty five years in service.
Speaker 4: That's a young retirement, is absolutely Now there's a program
Speaker 4: where you can stay on for an additional eight years,
Speaker 4: up to eight years if you want. So that makes
Speaker 4: you fifty six if my math is correct, right, Yeah,
Speaker 4: so that's still a very very young age to retire,
Speaker 4: so a lot of time. Yeah, so where you know,
Speaker 4: how much money does one need if they're retiring at
Speaker 4: that age?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: So I harkened back to my pension. Very fortunate for that,
Speaker 4: our pensions and you know, the healthcare is a big
Speaker 4: piece for us. I will tell you if we're on
Speaker 4: the financial part of it. A retirement program that we're
Speaker 4: offered by the police department that I participated in. You
Speaker 4: have a big, big, big love sum of money at
Speaker 4: the end of retirement, and we wanted to do something
Speaker 4: with that money. So we withdrew that money, took a
Speaker 4: penalty on it, paid federal taxes on it. And what
Speaker 4: we didn't realize is that bumped us up from whatever
Speaker 4: all the tax whatever little tax bracket we were into
Speaker 4: something astronomical to us. And then that kicked our butts.
Speaker 4: And so nobody told me that, like this is this
Speaker 4: is tax free money, this is free money.
Speaker 1: Go get your money to use, go get it out.
Speaker 4: Well, the federal government government's going to get you on it,
Speaker 4: and then it's going to push you up at another tax bracket.
Speaker 4: And we're and we just we were taking punches left
Speaker 4: and right and not knowing what happened.
Speaker 1: And here we are.
Speaker 4: We generally get some money back as a return at
Speaker 4: the end of the year, and here we are owing
Speaker 4: more money than could ever imagined possible.
Speaker 1: Nobody prepared us for that. We didn't understand that. I didn't.
Speaker 1: That hurts just hearing it. Yeah, so there's things.
Speaker 4: You know, that money is sitting there when you go
Speaker 4: to get it, it's going to cost you to get it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's quite you know, just another shot.
Speaker 6: I'm sweating, like this is kind of scary conversation have,
Speaker 6: but at our age, you know worth you know we are.
Speaker 1: Going to retire.
Speaker 2: That is a that is a fact from because I
Speaker 2: have a day job and Strilling does too with this
Speaker 2: is kind of our side hustle and fun stuff too.
Speaker 2: In a yoga instruct There's always gonna be things I'm
Speaker 2: going to do. But the main job, the forty hour
Speaker 2: plus a week, where that's the grind of it. That's
Speaker 2: the one where it's going to be like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: pretty tired, like Forrest, come pretty tired. I just want
Speaker 2: to go home, and there's gonna be a point where
Speaker 2: all of us reach at least that. How do you
Speaker 2: feel about this conversation tonight's stelling.
Speaker 1: I feel a little ill. No, I'm excited about it.
Speaker 1: I'm just excited about life in general and being prepared
Speaker 1: as a part of it. And even if it's a
Speaker 1: huge game of catch up, then you just have to
Speaker 1: put the right mindset behind it and say this is
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, this is the task in front of me.
Speaker 1: Most people go, I'll get to it later. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think there might be a leak in the roof. Well,
Speaker 1: if you haven't been in the attic and you haven't
Speaker 1: seen and you haven't made a call to somebody who
Speaker 1: may know something more with experience than you. Then you
Speaker 1: get a leaky roof that water just keeps on coming.
Speaker 1: And that's no different than you know, bills and obligations
Speaker 1: and responsibilities and everything else that goes with it. So
Speaker 1: now is the time to get in front of it,
Speaker 1: and at the end of the year, to get your
Speaker 1: ducks in a row, talk to somebody who knows more
Speaker 1: than you or what have you is probably a wise
Speaker 1: idea going into the new year.
Speaker 2: Absolutely all right, So we're going to end this conversation
Speaker 2: and it's been very good because going to get into battle.
Speaker 1: Of sex is coming up in the next break.
Speaker 2: Lisa, what is one piece of advice you'd like to
Speaker 2: give to anyone? One piece of advice? And it could
Speaker 2: be something you've already said tonight, but just sum it
Speaker 2: up on and then Nate, I'm going to ask you
Speaker 2: the same thing. What do you think people should know
Speaker 2: above anything else?
Speaker 3: Okay, this is going to be a three part answer,
Speaker 3: even though you tell me one.
Speaker 1: Okay, give it to me.
Speaker 3: Start start planning for it now, and then just be
Speaker 3: present and do your life. You know, when you have
Speaker 3: your plan in place, you just work the plan and
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden it appears it's time and
Speaker 3: you get to choose and the freedom is amazing. So
Speaker 3: just you know, whatever age you are, start to get
Speaker 3: ready for it. Come up with a plan, have a plan, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: have some sort of idea when and how Yeah, And
Speaker 3: then like Joe, you can say, Hey, I'm experiencing joy
Speaker 3: and I want to keep playing, or I'm not.
Speaker 2: I it's not fun anymore about You'll have the freedom
Speaker 2: to figure it out. Nate, what would you say one
Speaker 2: piece of advice, something that you really want to impress
Speaker 2: on everybody on this conversation that we've had so enlightening tonight.
Speaker 4: Well, Lisa stole my answer, So I try to think
Speaker 4: of something on the fly here that sounds really intelligent.
Speaker 4: Be president of the moment is a huge piece of it.
Speaker 4: We talked about that and it's coming, so prepare for it.
Speaker 4: Life is good at post retirement. I'm here to tell
Speaker 4: you I will stand up and raise my hand and
Speaker 4: preach that from the highest mountain every day of the week.
Speaker 4: It's it's a great life. So uh, get your get
Speaker 4: your stuff and order and get your ducks in a row.
Speaker 4: Get your ducks in a row. And uh it's it's
Speaker 4: a good time. Uh yeah, get your stuff in order
Speaker 4: and it's coming, so just be rid of.
Speaker 1: Well that's exciting.
Speaker 2: At least they both who have Lisa's retired this year,
Speaker 2: Nate's been two years in. They're both loving it, so
Speaker 2: that's good. All we have to do, Sterling, is figure
Speaker 2: figure out how to get.
Speaker 1: Yeah power, Polly. Was it a billion dollars one billion,
Speaker 1: four hundred some million cash payout instead of the annuity
Speaker 1: and then you got to figure half of that probably
Speaker 1: for tax's two hundred mil. I could live on simple interest.
Speaker 4: In that and your new tax bracket as well. That's right,
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, right, right, absolutely.
Speaker 2: Plus we'd be best friends because I can love some
Speaker 2: of your money too.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm here to help, all right, coming back.
Speaker 2: We got two men, two women in the studio, so
Speaker 2: obviously we're gonna have fun with Battle of the Sexes.
Speaker 2: We got some pretty interesting questions for the guys here,
Speaker 2: and Lisa and I are could have hey, and you
Speaker 2: guys come up with your own questions.
Speaker 1: By the way, we'll be back with that. Plus news
Speaker 1: and weather. Did it stop snowing? Are we good? It's cold?
Speaker 2: It is very cold and it's going to be freezing
Speaker 2: from Bengals and Ravens Tomorrow one o'clock kickoff, Dona d
Speaker 2: with Sterling, seven hundred WLW, Cincinnati, snowy cold Saturday Night,
Speaker 2: Donna de along with Sterling. We've got my buddy, my
Speaker 2: riding for over thirty years talking about retirement and throwing
Speaker 2: all this knowledge in us Lisa Reichert and retired police
Speaker 2: officer Nate Young. So it's been the real deal talk
Speaker 2: about retirement.
Speaker 1: But we're going to lighten things up a little bit.
Speaker 2: I noticed as we were talking earlier, we've got two
Speaker 2: men and two women in the studio, and I think
Speaker 2: it would be a fun time to be extremely honest
Speaker 2: and talk about some of the burning questions we all
Speaker 2: have for each other.
Speaker 1: This is the circle of trust. It's a safe space. Nope,
Speaker 1: it's just like going to couple's therapy. There was nothing
Speaker 1: good when they asked you to appear. That's right. This
Speaker 1: is gonna be the best five once. This is absolutely
Speaker 1: that's correct.
Speaker 2: Seven thousand Collin ask a burning question, ladies. The guys
Speaker 2: are going to be very honest. They promised me right
Speaker 2: before we got on air that they're going to be real,
Speaker 2: honest men, Lisa and I are going to keep it
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. So I'm going to start the conversation
Speaker 2: and five one, three, sevemore nine hundred the big one.
Speaker 1: If you have any questions, you want to call in with.
Speaker 2: So first question, and I'm going to keep it real
Speaker 2: easy for the first couple of questions.
Speaker 1: Right, who pays for the first date?
Speaker 3: I got this one, Okay. I would normally say, whoever asks.
Speaker 1: Ask for the date, but keep it a hundred.
Speaker 3: I will definitely have an opinion if the man doesn't offer,
Speaker 3: even if I was the one that asks. If he
Speaker 3: isn't offering, he might just move down some notches on
Speaker 3: my hand on my list.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he doesn't pay for the first date, he's
Speaker 2: not getting a second one.
Speaker 1: To be honest, now, I always want to try to pay,
Speaker 1: and it's I always. I don't know if it was.
Speaker 1: I was raised to not be a chauvinist, but all
Speaker 1: the stuff my mother drilled into me that is now
Speaker 1: a part of my DNA makes me somewhat of a
Speaker 1: sexist or a chauvinist. I want to pay. I want
Speaker 1: to hold the door, I want to make sure stuff's handled,
Speaker 1: and I want to make sure that she is happy
Speaker 1: in what's going on all the time and so forth.
Speaker 1: And it turns out you want to pay, Lisa. But
Speaker 1: then if I don't ask, I'm somehow less than because
Speaker 1: I should at least make an effort all all my questions.
Speaker 1: I gotta reach for the bill, boy, I can't quite reach.
Speaker 1: That's tough, Nate. So you said there's no winning here, Nate.
Speaker 1: Who pays on the first date? Is there a manual
Speaker 1: that we can buy?
Speaker 2: We're creating it right now, boy, we're creating it right Gays,
Speaker 2: And that was an easy one. Who asks someone out
Speaker 2: on a date? Now this is not. This is a
Speaker 2: little bit more complicated because since the me too movement,
Speaker 2: which was a necessary movement, but there was an over
Speaker 2: correction and men don't know what to do with women anymore, right,
Speaker 2: so they don't know if they should go up and
Speaker 2: and and ask them out. Is it going to be
Speaker 2: creepy or women not going to be But Lisa, you
Speaker 2: and I both know we like the man to ask
Speaker 2: a woman out on a date.
Speaker 3: YEA love to be approached. I would much rather have
Speaker 3: a man approach me. And I mean, you can show
Speaker 3: you know, some interest, So that they have the confidence
Speaker 3: to do the asking. I mean, you can lead them
Speaker 3: down the path if they don't bite.
Speaker 2: At that point, if a guy comes up to you,
Speaker 2: and let's just say we were a call back earlier
Speaker 2: to the show. We had Kars from The Bell and
Speaker 2: the Bear. We're at the Bell and the Bear and
Speaker 2: we're having a couple of drinks, well and bloody Mary,
Speaker 2: and a guy comes up to you and says, you know,
Speaker 2: I've I've looked at you across the room and I
Speaker 2: think you're really pretty.
Speaker 1: Can I can we hang out? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, that's it, that's what I think, what we're all
Speaker 3: looking for. Yeah, I think you're right. We've over corrected
Speaker 3: and now we need to reel it back in.
Speaker 4: And if that offends her, then that's the only red
Speaker 4: flag I need to get the heck out of it.
Speaker 1: That's exactly. I don't think anybody's going to be I
Speaker 1: think you're attractive.
Speaker 4: I'd like to see if we could go out on
Speaker 4: a date. And that's some sort of problem to say that.
Speaker 4: That's all I need to do.
Speaker 1: We want it now.
Speaker 2: If he's not somebody that I find, you know, physically
Speaker 2: appealing or something like that, then I.
Speaker 1: Might say thanks for the drink, sucker, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: No, you would say, you would say, yeah, come have
Speaker 2: a drink and hang out with us anyway. What's the
Speaker 2: worst thing that you would say is like, no, thank you.
Speaker 2: That was so nice of the compliment and the way
Speaker 2: that you came over, and but you know, thanks, but no,
Speaker 2: you know, no thanks sometimes and you got to get
Speaker 2: thick skinned.
Speaker 1: You know what's troubling here is that you preface this
Speaker 1: with in the me too movement thing that asking a
Speaker 1: woman out or showing interest puts you in the me
Speaker 1: too mode or area. And I thought it was you know,
Speaker 1: groping and station an uninvited physical engagement or biration or
Speaker 1: something that was more of a sexual undertone and conversation
Speaker 1: rather than hey, you want to go get a drink
Speaker 1: or grab a bike to eat? And that what you
Speaker 1: just said in the midst of that makes it even
Speaker 1: more troubling for a single guy to in that and
Speaker 1: to wade into those waters, which leads to the other
Speaker 1: question of not just to who ask who out, but
Speaker 1: and picking up the check and everything. If I ask
Speaker 1: you out, I'm going to pay unless you want to
Speaker 1: fight me for it or something ridiculous I'm gonna probably
Speaker 1: try to sneak and pay on the other side. But
Speaker 1: let me ask this about the dating thing. If you're
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship, married or cohabitating, I've lived in
Speaker 1: a couple of times longer than some of my friends
Speaker 1: have been married once or twice three times. In that situation,
Speaker 1: no judgment that they like to judge the guy who
Speaker 1: hasn't actually but got the ring. If you're together and
Speaker 1: she wants to pay or you know, oh, i'll get
Speaker 1: it tonight or you get it to whatever, then I
Speaker 1: don't see anything necessarily wrong with that. But I still
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not necessarily pulling my weight. Ooh, and
Speaker 1: that an ingrained guy thing again, I.
Speaker 2: Think, Okay, so the guy doesn't have to pay every
Speaker 2: single time, that is.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not but they'll hold it against you at least
Speaker 1: have sort of had that thing.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, the first couple I think is very cool,
Speaker 2: even if it's just the first date, right, But but no,
Speaker 2: I have every intention.
Speaker 1: It's fairness after that. Yeah, fairness after a degree.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's nice if the guy is successful and
Speaker 2: says no, no, no, you're not you're not paying. That's nice,
Speaker 2: But it's not necessary at all. Would you agree with that? Absolutely?
Speaker 2: I think going forward you can. It also depends on
Speaker 2: where you're going and what you're doing too, And so
Speaker 2: we talked about splitting earlier, and if you want to,
Speaker 2: you know, it might make sense to split a meal
Speaker 2: or split.
Speaker 1: The gain listeners at home, please mait.
Speaker 5: I don't know if that was on air. Tell that
Speaker 5: story if you. Oh lord, I think it was off.
Speaker 5: It's strong. You got to you gotta share.
Speaker 4: So I'm not getting out of this night without getting
Speaker 4: in trouble. Some of you had to have known that
Speaker 4: before you agreed to come in here, all right, Yeah?
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: Just recently, my beloved reminded me that on our first
Speaker 4: date at the Silver Spring House, I asked her if
Speaker 4: she would like to split a meal.
Speaker 1: And she still brings that up.
Speaker 4: And I didn't do that for any other reason that
Speaker 4: I didn't want to be full.
Speaker 1: For that night on my first date with this beautiful lady.
Speaker 4: I just kind of wanted a nice light meal so
Speaker 4: we could have some drinks and engage in conversation or
Speaker 4: whatever else. And she never lets me live that down
Speaker 4: that I asked her she wanted to split a meal.
Speaker 1: Now that it's been wetted bliss for a minute or two. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: but why do we see if that did buy that, well, I.
Speaker 4: Might have said a few things that were probably poking
Speaker 4: her a little bit.
Speaker 1: You know, we won't go into that, but you see
Speaker 1: that the way you solved that though, how about some appetizers, right,
Speaker 1: and then you just ordered a table full of little
Speaker 1: stuff and then you eat what you want. You know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's perfectly fine. We had a great night, by the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So who are better communicators?
Speaker 1: Men or women? First of all, say, my friend Stephanie's
Speaker 1: having a party tonight and I'm here because of the
Speaker 1: weather and hanging out with you guys. So Hi, Stephanie,
Speaker 1: I know she's listening. Secondly, what was the question? What
Speaker 1: was it? Yes, communication, dosten. Listening is important. There's one. Two.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. What why is it that a woman
Speaker 1: will say what's wrong? And I say nothing, and then
Speaker 1: they continue to want to ask you even though I
Speaker 1: say everything's fine, even whether I'm being introspective or I'm
Speaker 1: just quiet or something like that. Why can't know nothing's
Speaker 1: wrong be enough? Because no means no. Another circumstances, I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to ride with that I got this one.
Speaker 2: I think you're now, Yeah, he is, because he doesn't
Speaker 2: understand what I mean.
Speaker 1: No, No, I understand what no means. But I mean,
Speaker 1: if everything's fine.
Speaker 2: I think that when there's a shift in energy and
Speaker 2: a woman feels that they they want to say, hey,
Speaker 2: what's up.
Speaker 1: I can tell something's going on.
Speaker 2: And if you say nothing's going on and she says,
Speaker 2: I feel like it's.
Speaker 1: Her, she's transferring it. She's got the problem. Right, Oh, boys, Sterling,
Speaker 1: am I getting in trouble again? I'm gonna see that.
Speaker 1: There's a reason that I can't I can't do right.
Speaker 1: It's it's always that.
Speaker 4: Well, guys say what they mean, right girls speaking code.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's true. I mean I said exactly what I
Speaker 1: meant when I said there's there's no levels of what
Speaker 1: it is what I said it was, And that's universal.
Speaker 1: I've talked to guys when I lived in work field.
Speaker 1: That's right, from all over, different cultures, different thing. It
Speaker 1: is a very common thing when they just leave my
Speaker 1: pillow and blanket in the work it out. We open
Speaker 1: Pandora's box here.
Speaker 3: I probably am one of the many women that do
Speaker 3: listen when you say that it's nothing and believe it,
Speaker 3: because sometimes I wonder if there's anything going on in there.
Speaker 1: You mean, well, there's it's nothing. They really they are
Speaker 1: telling the truth. That's true. I don't take that.
Speaker 2: We're pretty simple. So, Nate Warmed, I have a question.
Speaker 2: Do you not think hang on, that's a double name.
Speaker 2: Do you think women don't mean what they say and
Speaker 2: say what they mean?
Speaker 1: We speak? What kind of code is? Are you not
Speaker 1: listening to Nate?
Speaker 2: Just now?
Speaker 1: I said, like, I want to see how deep this goes.
Speaker 1: I'm getting into it because he's trying to bury me
Speaker 1: in one and you got the whole. I'm serious.
Speaker 2: That is an interesting answer, and I know a lot
Speaker 2: that you should have seen Sterling jumping out of his
Speaker 2: seat over here trying to agree with you.
Speaker 1: Couldn't agree with you more on that.
Speaker 2: I want to know, do you think, really, you know,
Speaker 2: we talking code, nothing's wrong, But then there's this, then
Speaker 2: there's that, and.
Speaker 1: Guys do that as well. Well, let's be honest. I
Speaker 1: just think women are complicated people. That's why we love them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and there's a lot to Yeah, there's just we
Speaker 4: gotta we're not the same, We're not wired the same.
Speaker 4: I'm just that's how I feel. Women and men are
Speaker 4: not wired the same. We think we react in different
Speaker 4: situations in different ways. We talked about the police officer
Speaker 4: thing with the woman police officer present versus the man present.
Speaker 4: So think women and men are different and that's a
Speaker 4: good thing, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, women, men can be more I'll give you this.
Speaker 2: Men can be more calm in situations when women can
Speaker 2: get a little bit emotional.
Speaker 1: I think I don't even know if emotional is a
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just listening. There was something in my teeth.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, us all right?
Speaker 2: Who avoids conflict but remembers everything and holds resentment?
Speaker 1: Every woman I've known, Oh I'm in trouble now? Is that?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Are you talking about splitting the meal
Speaker 1: again on the first date? Right because she holds on
Speaker 1: to it? Indeed, Hey, I have a question, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: Are you able to maintain a relationship that can be
Speaker 1: more than just friends and add the sexual end of
Speaker 1: it in there without becoming complicated and either failing or
Speaker 1: maybe going all the way, Like maybe you have a
Speaker 1: friend that you've had a friend for a long time
Speaker 1: and then it's like, hey, you know how come we
Speaker 1: have an ever I've always want you know you want to?
Speaker 1: And then I kind of go, I don't want to
Speaker 1: ruin this the way I've ruined every other thing I've
Speaker 1: been a party two. Yeah, And so the question is
Speaker 1: how does she deal with that? Or how how does
Speaker 1: the guy deal with that? I mean on the other
Speaker 1: side of it, Like if a woman approaches you say, hey,
Speaker 1: we've been friends, but you know you want to you
Speaker 1: want to do something else. We can just keep it
Speaker 1: as friends. Do you think it's possible to keep it
Speaker 1: just as friends and have that other side thing without
Speaker 1: it becoming more? I do.
Speaker 5: I think you can just have it be said. I
Speaker 5: can't speak to this, you're married. Thanks for help, I'm
Speaker 5: there on an island here, like I.
Speaker 1: Mean, on one hands, it sounds like a dream, right,
Speaker 1: like a woman comes to you or a guy depending
Speaker 1: and says, hey, listen, we have a great friendship. Could
Speaker 1: we have this other thing there? But can we keep
Speaker 1: the friendship and also have it just be that? Or
Speaker 1: is that an impossibility that wouldn't work for me?
Speaker 2: See?
Speaker 1: I don't think see, And that's my fear. It always
Speaker 1: ends up somebody once more, no matter what they say,
Speaker 1: and then that puts you in a precarious position because
Speaker 1: they will lie to themselves, if not, then to you
Speaker 1: trying to muster through it.
Speaker 2: Well, I think the side is that you could be
Speaker 2: missing out on like this amazing relationship because you it
Speaker 2: starts out as friends, right, you would agree you got
Speaker 2: to be.
Speaker 1: Friends and and and and it.
Speaker 2: Ends with a big, deep friendship when you're in a relationship.
Speaker 2: So you know, I would say, go for that and
Speaker 2: let the chips fall where they.
Speaker 4: Speak in generalities. Problem, but I'm hearing what you're laying
Speaker 4: down there.
Speaker 1: You go, I got your.
Speaker 3: You's got interested in taking the relationship further that way.
Speaker 1: He just wants to have the Well, I'm I think
Speaker 1: often mixing them can ruin a good thing sometimes on
Speaker 1: either side of it. I'm Harry Sally.
Speaker 2: By the way, Yes, there's been movies like I mean,
Speaker 2: like he's written this long thing like I.
Speaker 1: Can think of twenty movies about this and how that
Speaker 1: friends with friends.
Speaker 2: Well, when Harry Metcelli, they ended up no spoiler alert.
Speaker 1: If you haven't seen this scene was primo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean, you know they ended up married
Speaker 2: and they were happy.
Speaker 1: Did they write a sequel? I think they are they
Speaker 1: doing there? You go, I don't know. I'll speaking for
Speaker 1: other guys. Sometimes that happens, they're I mean, mostly it's
Speaker 1: guys who want that special thing, right, that's like that
Speaker 1: type of friendship, rather than women wanting it? Or do
Speaker 1: more women want that in certain time and place? Is
Speaker 1: everything right situational? I just know that a lot of
Speaker 1: guys will ruin it because somebody becomes more invested. I may,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm shutting up. This is sling. It's
Speaker 1: become Sirling's personal. You wanted questions? I came up with questions.
Speaker 1: We have a doctor calling, Lord knows, we get to
Speaker 1: come in, but it was snowing. Did you have a question?
Speaker 5: Lee?
Speaker 3: Questions are like much more simple, like okay, I'm going
Speaker 3: to go with the first one though, because this will
Speaker 3: make you think a little bit.
Speaker 1: And this just happened to me.
Speaker 3: So how important is it that the person have a
Speaker 3: lot of confidence, the person that you're dating or the
Speaker 3: person you're in a relationship with. How big does confidence
Speaker 3: rank on the scale? Anyone care to answer that in themselves?
Speaker 1: Nate, Well, oh huh, I think it's important.
Speaker 4: I find I find confidence a very attractive confident lady
Speaker 4: that you know, cares herself in that manner, that's just awesome.
Speaker 4: I would hope that that would be the same for
Speaker 4: a female looking at a man. But I see in
Speaker 4: some of the younger kids today that that is an
Speaker 4: off pudding to the females to have a guy that's
Speaker 4: confident and in himself, And I just wonder if that's.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's something they have to deal with.
Speaker 4: Just times are different now, and I think this bravado,
Speaker 4: the guy that can chop the wood and wear the
Speaker 4: flannel and grow a beard, is kind of off putting
Speaker 4: out that means confidence. But I'm making a trying to
Speaker 4: draw a mental picture here.
Speaker 1: Because you have a beard and he's going to go out.
Speaker 1: I got that. I had a delivery. Nate, you're a
Speaker 1: very manly.
Speaker 4: I just feel like some of the things that I
Speaker 4: hear and see through our children and their friends that
Speaker 4: sometimes that confidence is off putting, yeah, and arrogant, sonogynistic,
Speaker 4: throws all these.
Speaker 1: I think the trick is finding that balance, because you
Speaker 1: can be confident without being overbear stop opening a door
Speaker 1: or walking on the side. I've had women yell at
Speaker 1: me like going to like a store where you else
Speaker 1: open the door. I'll step back and please after you.
Speaker 1: And they look at me like I'm a puppet of Satan.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, my mom twitches if I don't hold
Speaker 1: the door or let you do.
Speaker 4: I mean, there's landmines in developing a relationship with any anyone. Yeah, today,
Speaker 4: I just feel like it's just exponentially it should be easy.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: I have to tell you why I asked this question.
Speaker 3: I actually went on a date last week. Everybody clapped
Speaker 3: because it's been a while.
Speaker 1: Did you gods? Okay?
Speaker 3: Before we went on the date, he sent a text
Speaker 3: that was confident, I would say, and I said, I
Speaker 3: like the confidence. When we actually met, he said, is
Speaker 3: that a deal breaker for you? Confidence in someone? Because
Speaker 3: I'm not a very confident person. I mean it, it
Speaker 3: made me want to pretty much wrap things up right there.
Speaker 1: For him to own that though, yeah, well, don't even
Speaker 1: know it. That's it.
Speaker 2: You can't even tell me that. I gotta listen out.
Speaker 2: There's there's a couple other things I want to add.
Speaker 2: We're going to continue this conversation when we come back.
Speaker 2: I believe it is stopped snowing. It's a winter wonderland.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what we're gonna get when we
Speaker 2: go outside. You guys have been here for six hours,
Speaker 2: so coming back, we're going to continue more of these
Speaker 2: burning questions. Feel free to call in five one, three, seven,
Speaker 2: four nine seven eight hundred The Big One. It's Donnade
Speaker 2: along with Sterling, Lisa and Nate on this beautiful Saturday
Speaker 2: night in Cincinnati.
Speaker 1: Seven hundred WLW.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, gracious, we're having too much fun in
Speaker 2: the studio.
Speaker 1: Donna d along with Sterling.
Speaker 2: We got my buddy Lisa Reichert in the studio as
Speaker 2: well as retired police officer Nate Young. We've been talking
Speaker 2: about retirement all I have a little fun on the
Speaker 2: last segment. I wanted to keep it going asking the
Speaker 2: burning questions. Men, whatever you want to know. Lisa and
Speaker 2: I are here. Lisa and I want to ask a
Speaker 2: few questions as well. We're gonna be super honest in
Speaker 2: the studio of something you want to ask. Five one, three, seven,
Speaker 2: four ninety seven thousand, one eight hundred The Big One. Now,
Speaker 2: before the break, Lisa, you talked about the importance of confidence.
Speaker 2: Is it attractive or maybe it's off putting. I think
Speaker 2: it's attractive. I didn't get a chance to answer this,
Speaker 2: but I wanted to because the thing about confidence is,
Speaker 2: and I'll speak for myself, I am my biggest cheerleader.
Speaker 2: I am somebody that's like constantly self talk. You got this,
Speaker 2: you're gonna kill it, You're gonna do all these things.
Speaker 2: But that can translate sometimes on occasion into ego or
Speaker 2: bravado or arrogance or something like that. Now, I don't
Speaker 2: find arrogance attractive confidences and sometimes there's a fine law.
Speaker 1: Do you agree with me, Sterling? Yeah, I mean you
Speaker 1: can go overboard. Not you personally, but people can in
Speaker 1: a situation like that.
Speaker 2: You mean when I say we killed it on that
Speaker 2: break and I was really good.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't like anything I do, so you know
Speaker 1: that's I've learned to appreciate what works or I'm told works,
Speaker 1: and I can enjoy like this is a good, needy,
Speaker 1: multiple layer like conversation. Right, This is compelling. That's all
Speaker 1: this is is trying you're wanting to This is human behavior,
Speaker 1: this is life. This is people's stuff. There's nothing more important.
Speaker 1: And that's what really what this radio station is built on.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're talking about social media. This is the
Speaker 1: very first social media meteor that there was, and it
Speaker 1: continues to be the case. It helps I could talk English.
Speaker 2: It is interesting because the who avoids conflict but remembers
Speaker 2: everything and holds resentment that I saw as men, and
Speaker 2: so does Lisa and you guys.
Speaker 1: Most send me was women. I guess everybody does. I
Speaker 1: will give you that.
Speaker 3: I have to throw that your way, Sterling, Yeah, because
Speaker 3: I've done it myself.
Speaker 2: Well, we've all done it. The majority though, is guys
Speaker 2: hold resentment.
Speaker 1: Sorry, do we Well, you look at me like do I?
Speaker 1: I don't think I do. Probably she's looking at me.
Speaker 1: Do you agree?
Speaker 2: Because that is one thing guys do. They don't open
Speaker 2: up because men don't talk to men this way. And
Speaker 2: I'm actually very proud of you too, because you're kind
Speaker 2: of connecting on another You're bonding on another level like women.
Speaker 2: Normally we're talking about the hardest stuff and you guys
Speaker 2: are open to doing it. But I think sometimes you
Speaker 2: close up because you don't want to bother anybody, and
Speaker 2: then later on you hold resentment.
Speaker 1: Do you agree? Yes, thank you, Nate. I do I agree,
Speaker 1: But I'll say this. You know why. There may be fear,
Speaker 1: interrepidation or reluctance of a lot of guys to do
Speaker 1: this is you want us to open up, and then
Speaker 1: when we do open up, you look at us as
Speaker 1: somehow being weak or too emotional, and then somehow that's
Speaker 1: a negative. After initially you were like, please please tell me,
Speaker 1: what are you really thinking? How do you really feel
Speaker 1: about this? Yeah, and I've seen it, I've witnessed it,
Speaker 1: I've lived it, and but I've talked to other guys,
Speaker 1: you know, over beers or whatever. It's like, man, I
Speaker 1: did exactly what she said. She just said the other thing.
Speaker 1: And usually a lot of us guys will just drink
Speaker 1: beers and be quiet and we're happy as I'll get
Speaker 1: out anyway, I don't have to say anything. It's us
Speaker 1: women that are complicated. Yeah, it got your number. Yes,
Speaker 1: I know. I am very simple.
Speaker 3: Change that word from complicated to multi faceting.
Speaker 1: Yes you are. I didn't mean that in a complication.
Speaker 1: I mean being complicated is not multiple layer like an
Speaker 1: without an owner's manual. Yes, Nate, you had a question
Speaker 1: for the ladies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well this is a recovery question. I hoped at
Speaker 4: my home front simmers down a little bit out there.
Speaker 1: Do women like wool.
Speaker 4: Convertible leopard print moccasin style slip on shoes in size seven.
Speaker 4: I could just get a response from for that police.
Speaker 4: I would hold my home front a little bit.
Speaker 1: I would like this. I think there's nothing wrong with.
Speaker 3: Nice move moccasin girl. I love moccasins.
Speaker 1: I am up all right. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I actually went out on a date with a guy
Speaker 2: and I couldn't believe he said this to me. It
Speaker 2: was the weirdest thing ever. We were we were just
Speaker 2: having a random conversation and uh, he said to me, oh,
Speaker 2: I have the worst luck in the world. And I
Speaker 2: was like, what he said, I'm just unlucky. I know
Speaker 2: everything bad happens to me. I'm like, I'm really glad
Speaker 2: you told me that, because I don't want to at
Speaker 2: any time with somebody who so has so much bad luck.
Speaker 2: Who in the world would ever want to spend some
Speaker 2: time with somebody that says they were mister unlucky.
Speaker 1: That's a weird thing. We all have stretches, but yeah,
Speaker 1: some stuff you keep to yourself. Well, that's one of them.
Speaker 1: I mean, I share too much here, so you know,
Speaker 1: it's sort of likely the critical for me to say that,
Speaker 1: But it's true.
Speaker 4: I believe in the vibration thing. If you put out
Speaker 4: those vibrations exactly, those are the vibrations that come back
Speaker 4: to you. And I'm not a master of that. That's
Speaker 4: a new thing for me over the past eight seventy
Speaker 4: eight nine years. I believe in that the vibrations you
Speaker 4: put out are the vibrations you get back.
Speaker 2: Match energy in the US, what you put out, you
Speaker 2: get back. That's just what happens. If you and and Nate.
Speaker 2: That's so great that you talked about it, because that's
Speaker 2: what exactly what I was talking about. How in the
Speaker 2: world do I want to be around somebody so unlucky?
Speaker 2: But if you don't feel loved in your life, that's
Speaker 2: what you need to give. You need to give love.
Speaker 2: If you don't feel like safe, then that's you need
Speaker 2: to give some security to other people and let them
Speaker 2: know they're safe around.
Speaker 1: Whatever you're missing in life, that's what you have to give.
Speaker 3: That's why it's not luck, right. I don't I don't
Speaker 3: believe that somebody can be that unlucky. Things are going
Speaker 3: to happen to all of us. But it's a that's
Speaker 3: AH tells you a lot about how somebody thinks and
Speaker 3: how they approach their life. If they're thinking, oh I'm
Speaker 3: so unlucky, poor me, boohoo, you know, I just I'm
Speaker 3: not buying it. You can create whether it's you're you're
Speaker 3: choosing to put the right energy out there, you can
Speaker 3: also create your your destiny.
Speaker 1: And it's how you look at the things that are happening.
Speaker 1: You focus on the make you learn from it.
Speaker 3: Do you grow from it or do you walk around
Speaker 3: like schlibrock you know, yeah, just.
Speaker 1: On work and forward always. You just have to keep
Speaker 1: going and you compartmentalize and that I've been told as
Speaker 1: a guy thing in the way we just compartmentalize certain things,
Speaker 1: which was what I alluded to earlier. And it was
Speaker 1: all jokes, by the way, just jokes people. But that
Speaker 1: being said, though you do tend to get what you
Speaker 1: put out there oftentimes. But being forward thinking and positive
Speaker 1: and in the way you carry yourself. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you carry yourself like a schlump in your or whatever,
Speaker 1: then you show up with your waffle shirt and hanging
Speaker 1: out on a date, you know, and you know, I
Speaker 1: don't really drink, but I'm gonna drink off with you
Speaker 1: or whatever. I haven't drunk it a long time, but
Speaker 1: things go sideways. Dude, what are you doing? You know,
Speaker 1: Get a hold yourself, be strong, be who you are,
Speaker 1: and if they don't like you for it's tough, it's
Speaker 1: their loss. At least that's the way I approach it.
Speaker 1: At least that's my game.
Speaker 2: Phase.
Speaker 1: Then I drive home and drink. I'm just joking. I'm
Speaker 1: just joking, you know what.
Speaker 2: And I want to ask you guys this question. I'll
Speaker 2: say this, there's really I watched this video. I watch
Speaker 2: a lot of podcasts, and I love relationships stuff, and
Speaker 2: there is one thing that I think is true.
Speaker 1: Women really want one thing. It really is podcast on
Speaker 1: this will zero in on the podcast here.
Speaker 2: They want one thing and it's kind of a big thing,
Speaker 2: and it's kind of every day. They want to be adored.
Speaker 2: They want their man to adore them, and that means loving, respectful,
Speaker 2: looking in your eye and and and knowing, smiling when
Speaker 2: they're speaking, and having their back.
Speaker 1: They want to be adored.
Speaker 2: And it does sound like, Nate, you adore your wife
Speaker 2: in the little time that we've been together here tonight.
Speaker 2: The things that you've said about her and the things
Speaker 2: that you're grateful for and you keep mentioning that, and
Speaker 2: the way that you speak about her, it does seem
Speaker 2: like you adore your wife.
Speaker 1: Yes, I do, She's awesome. Yeah, and I've witnessed it. Lisa,
Speaker 1: Am I right saying that too, Like if you it
Speaker 1: would go.
Speaker 2: A long way if you just you know, it's not
Speaker 2: like you have to say, sweetheart, I adore you.
Speaker 1: You show it with with you know, size seven moccasin
Speaker 1: convertible exactly a good way to adore her. It's I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: To me, it's not in the sappy way like you
Speaker 3: were talking about, like you don't have to be all
Speaker 3: over them and say, oh honey, I adore you. It's
Speaker 3: how you show up for them day in and day out,
Speaker 3: and putting that person first beyond yourself. I think that
Speaker 3: just says so so much about how you respect that person.
Speaker 3: And you know, throwing out some compliments every now and
Speaker 3: then doesn't hurt anything.
Speaker 2: Laughing at her jokes, getting the inside, mentioning things to
Speaker 2: her that only you guys know. Is that like an
Speaker 2: inner you know, that kind of stuff, the playfulness.
Speaker 1: They like it too.
Speaker 4: I think, well, I was gonna thing that I for
Speaker 4: I love that, Yes, I think for me when my
Speaker 4: wife is confident in me, like I say, we're going
Speaker 4: to try this venture, We're gonna do this, and her
Speaker 4: reply is I trust you, let's do that. That to
Speaker 4: me is the ultimate, yep, ultimate thing for me. There's
Speaker 4: some other things involved as well that are awesome, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, but respect or trust and respect.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just the fact that she has confidence that you know,
Speaker 4: I've got this, and so that's that's cool.
Speaker 1: Got that from her tonight before we left.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got this. Yeah, so that was kind of cool.
Speaker 4: And that's that to me is a big that's a
Speaker 4: big thing.
Speaker 1: Cerly, do you agree with that? Yeah? Absolutely, I mean
Speaker 1: that's everything that you'd want right in that situation. You
Speaker 1: hope that you find a woman or a man, depending
Speaker 1: on your circumstance. That is that thing that the best
Speaker 1: things that you want in need and you want to
Speaker 1: sort of them to complete you in those differences and
Speaker 1: so forth. Some people may not want someone who is
Speaker 1: so strong or aggress of whatever. They're going to hopefully
Speaker 1: find their level or whatever too. But no, I mean
Speaker 1: you want that that what you just described is ideal.
Speaker 2: How important are looks at our age? You know, we're
Speaker 2: all in the mid mid fifties, right, but I mean,
Speaker 2: you know it's we all age hopefully gracefully and things
Speaker 2: like that. When I was younger, looks kind of mattered
Speaker 2: more than they do now to me. I mean, I
Speaker 2: really feel like, how does this person live their life?
Speaker 2: And are they kind to people? And are they you know, honest?
Speaker 2: And you know, how long have they worked hard for themselves?
Speaker 2: I mean, how how have they done with this portion
Speaker 2: of their life in their mid fifties. That's appealing and
Speaker 2: attractive to me, right, I mean everyone makes mistakes, people
Speaker 2: get divorced, people have you know, you know, bad bad
Speaker 2: you know jobs, and you know kind of everybody exactly.
Speaker 2: Nobody is ever going to be perfect in that, but
Speaker 2: how you handle it, how you come back. That's like
Speaker 2: that's more important to me than looks in these days.
Speaker 3: Lisa, Yeah, yeah, So actually that was gonna be one
Speaker 3: of my questions, is like, in a in a roundabout way,
Speaker 3: was like, what do you find is the most attractive
Speaker 3: quality in someone? And try to leave this on a
Speaker 3: good note rather than talking about the unlucky guy out
Speaker 3: there and the guy in the waffle shirt. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: it is, I would say, on top.
Speaker 1: Of what you just mentioned.
Speaker 3: For me, it's somebody that has a sense of humor,
Speaker 3: doesn't take themselves too seriously. And everybody, every girl likes
Speaker 3: somebody that's funny, you know. But I think the way
Speaker 3: that they show up for you, I keep coming back
Speaker 3: to that, that's gonna They're gonna have all those other
Speaker 3: things going for them, so appearance, you know, care about
Speaker 3: what you look like? Now, yeah, but you know what
Speaker 3: I've always I've always picked someone that I was just
Speaker 3: attracted to, Like you couldn't go down the line and say, oh,
Speaker 3: that's Lisa's guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, is you don't have a look?
Speaker 3: No, No, it's there's just an attraction there. And generally
Speaker 3: there's going to be They are going to be kind,
Speaker 3: they're going to have a sense of humor, they're going
Speaker 3: to probably have the same kind of drive in life.
Speaker 3: I want them to have aspirations. I want them to
Speaker 3: be confident in themselves. And going back to that, I
Speaker 3: think if someone doesn't like someone that's confident to your point, Nate,
Speaker 3: and I know this is the younger generation, but to me,
Speaker 3: it's more a reflection on that person. They don't have
Speaker 3: the confidence. If you don't like someone that has confidence,
Speaker 3: then you're probably not a confident person.
Speaker 1: You're lacking something. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I want to hear someone be able to say something
Speaker 3: nice about themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's a big deal.
Speaker 2: Do you guys agree with Lisa that humor is important
Speaker 2: and to find attractive?
Speaker 1: Is humor a big thing? I think initially, unless you
Speaker 1: get to know someone only by speaking to them without
Speaker 1: seeing them, it's and it may change over time. The
Speaker 1: first is the visual, the attraction issue, the physical, and
Speaker 1: then the other stuff. Over time, your opinion of that
Speaker 1: person may change. They may be drop dead gorgeous, but
Speaker 1: they're not an attractive personality, or their behaviors make them
Speaker 1: less than attractive. The other side, you know, they might
Speaker 1: go not necessarily exactly my wheelhouse, but all these other
Speaker 1: things that she has going on makes her super attractive,
Speaker 1: her confidence or humor, her attitude, whatever else it is,
Speaker 1: busting chops whatever that. You know, you're into her strengths
Speaker 1: in other ways. It changes over time. What do you
Speaker 1: say to that. I think you're spot on.
Speaker 4: I think humor is a big part of my relationship
Speaker 4: with Jamie, And you know, we we have a very
Speaker 4: similar demented dark and we like each other laugh while
Speaker 4: other people are looking at us like, what is wrong.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Jamie could be making a fool of herself, and
Speaker 3: He's like, look at her, that's my wife.
Speaker 1: That's my girl. That's excellent, splits on the dance floor ating,
Speaker 1: that's my girl times.
Speaker 2: That is adoration right there, that is that's my girl
Speaker 2: right there. Everyone else can look at her and think
Speaker 2: she's silly, and this is what I love about her.
Speaker 2: That is a great way to ask us what you want. Wow,
Speaker 2: what a fun night.
Speaker 1: I am so.
Speaker 2: Happy that you guys made it in Nate. We're going
Speaker 2: to have to come come back and dissect some of
Speaker 2: those crime stories.
Speaker 1: We were talking about former.
Speaker 2: And retired Ohio Cincinnati police officer Nate Young. My buddy
Speaker 2: Lisa of thirty years, thank you for all your insights
Speaker 2: on retirement.
Speaker 1: Sterling. We are.
Speaker 2: We had a conversation with James Rapine. It was really interesting.
Speaker 2: We're going to play that back, so stick around with me.
Speaker 2: We're talking Bengals that the big game is tomorrow. You
Speaker 2: want to make a prediction before we head out of here.
Speaker 1: It's going to be very cold, going to be very cold.
Speaker 1: I'd like to see Joe Burrow throw it all over
Speaker 1: the place, and maybe the run game really open it
Speaker 1: up a little bit. We'll see. The Ravens are always tough,
Speaker 1: but they're not that great this year either. The AFC
Speaker 1: North wide open, so even with them now with a
Speaker 1: little bit of luck, but it's going to be cold.
Speaker 2: It's going to be cold, and Bengals are going to win.
Speaker 2: I'm going to say it right there.
Speaker 1: James repene locked on Bengals Cincinnati Bengals Talk on YouTube,
Speaker 1: joining us from a conversation earlier.
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, Thank you guys so much. We're
Speaker 2: coming back again. James Rapine on the Bengals and the
Speaker 2: Ravens tomorrow, one o'clock kickoff at Paycourt. It's done a
Speaker 2: D seven hundred WLW Cincinnati