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Speaker 1: Oh, there we go. I thought it was me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: no problem.

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Speaker 2: It's Saturday night on a wintery, blistery, cold, slushy, snowy,

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Speaker 2: traffic y night. But we're all here, Donnade with Sterling.

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Speaker 2: Sterling is actually staying with me until midnight.

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Speaker 1: Yep, what are you gonna do? Exactly? Parking lot that's

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Speaker 1: wide open, if I could find one, I'll be all right.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here.

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Speaker 2: We've been on air for the last three hours and

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Speaker 2: hopefully people aren't so sick of us tonight. We have

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Speaker 2: in the studio braved the roads to get here.

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Speaker 1: I can't even believe it.

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Speaker 2: I guess you can call this an emergency, but I

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Speaker 2: am very happy to that you're here. My buddy, Lisa Riker,

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Speaker 2: we've been friends for over thirty years. Yea, Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I cannot believe it. She's been a buddy of mine

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Speaker 2: forever and ever. And we're talking about a topic that

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Speaker 2: is that's affected both of us because you retired this

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Speaker 2: year I did, and we also have in the studio

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Speaker 2: Nate Young, former retired Cincinnati police officer that's very passionate

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Speaker 2: about this subject on retirement. I wanted you both to

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Speaker 2: come in to talk about it. Nate, you've been retired?

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Speaker 2: Has it been two years? How come we can hear?

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Speaker 1: Well, there you go December twenty three. There you go.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So yeah, two years it's been so okay. And Lisa,

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Speaker 2: you just retired this year, and I know you don't

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Speaker 2: like that word, and we're going to get into why

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Speaker 2: you don't like that word. But first of all, how

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Speaker 2: has your year been? And what was the scariest part

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Speaker 2: of retiring?

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Speaker 1: Oh? I love that question.

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Speaker 3: First of all, I have to comment on what you

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Speaker 3: said when you just introduced me that we've both gone

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Speaker 3: through it, because it's true. I feel like I've drug

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Speaker 3: my group of friends through this whole process with me,

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Speaker 3: and it's a journey actually, and a fun one that

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Speaker 3: we've been on together. All the highs and lows that

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Speaker 3: you've gone through with me. The year has been fantastic,

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Speaker 3: I have to say. I mean, I've had unfortunately a

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Speaker 3: little hiccup with a little shoulder surgery I had to have,

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Speaker 3: so that kind of like held back some of the

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Speaker 3: travel that I wanted to do. But it's been a

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Speaker 3: fantastic year and I think that it's because of how

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Speaker 3: I approached looking at retirement that it wasn't something that

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Speaker 3: was ending. It's a beginning. It's a new adventure that

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Speaker 3: I'm embarking on. I look at it as hey, I'm

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Speaker 3: in my third act. You've got this one ride around

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Speaker 3: the sun, and let's go what are we going to

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Speaker 3: do with it?

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Speaker 1: Sterlinge.

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Speaker 2: Let's be honest, we're all in the back night well,

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Speaker 2: and in this group, we're all in the back nine year.

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Speaker 1: So I don't like the way that sounds at all.

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Speaker 2: Back nine well, at least in the mid fifties, that's

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Speaker 2: your back nine run.

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Speaker 1: The like what would we call it? The door I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to get a likelihood of hitting one hundreds rare,

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Speaker 1: is what you're saying. Well, yeah, that's exactly what I'm das.

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Speaker 1: Probably not helping me.

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Speaker 2: You're right, Nate, I want you to I want you

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Speaker 2: to jump in here because I know you're passionate about it.

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Speaker 2: What is the first thing people should know if they're

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Speaker 2: thinking about retiring or maybe what do you wish you

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Speaker 2: knew before you went on this journey of retirement? Because

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Speaker 2: there are people that are very afraid to retire. There's

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Speaker 2: a lot of fear around it, and there's also people

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Speaker 2: that can't absolutely can't wait for the day to retire.

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Speaker 4: Well, for the record, I was in the category you

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Speaker 4: cannot wait for retirement. Okay, I was built for retirement,

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Speaker 4: is what I told people when they ask me.

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Speaker 1: Is it because of your profession?

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Speaker 2: Because it's so stressful, I'm guessing because you're a former

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Speaker 2: Cincinnati police officer.

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Speaker 4: I think there's yeah, some of that is definitely packaged

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Speaker 4: in there. I think we all have stressors in our profession.

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Speaker 4: I don't think that first responders are unique to that,

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Speaker 4: so I would like to acknowledge that that everybody has

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Speaker 4: that in their profession.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I feel like, somewhere along the line, as it was

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Speaker 4: clear what was going to happen I was going to retire,

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Speaker 4: I challenged myself to reset mentally and start trying to

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Speaker 4: wrap my mind around that and kind of figure out

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Speaker 4: how that's going to look for me. And yeah, so

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Speaker 4: I felt like I paid that path. I was the

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Speaker 4: first one of my friend group to retire. And so

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Speaker 4: now I'm looking back at my friends and kind of

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Speaker 4: trying to give them some ideas about what it looked

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Speaker 4: like for me and the trip. The trip wires that

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Speaker 4: I stumbled across and things that were different and difficult

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Speaker 4: for me and try to you know, help it, I guess,

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Speaker 4: flatten the curve for them and get them in a

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Speaker 4: better place earlier, probably before you retire. It would be awesome.

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Speaker 4: Rather than get in that better place after you retire.

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Speaker 4: Let's not sacrifice seven, eight, nine, ten years of our

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Speaker 4: life as we approached retire and wait to get to

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Speaker 4: retirement to have you know, that that mental change and

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Speaker 4: really reset, so to speak. And that's that's what I'm

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Speaker 4: very passionate about. I've got a couple of friends that

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Speaker 4: are approaching retirement. One that thinks he's retired but isn't.

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Speaker 4: Dear my one of my best friends in the world,

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Speaker 4: my younger brother, he's getting ready to retire and just

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Speaker 4: trying to you know, like to pass on things to

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Speaker 4: make it easier for them and get them into a

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Speaker 4: place where I'm at now two years after I retired,

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Speaker 4: before they retire earlier.

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Speaker 1: So the what I witnessed from other people is not

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Speaker 1: having a purpose or a reason and seemingly stressful and

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Speaker 1: maybe even depressing in some cases once they've gotten to

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Speaker 1: the point of where they think they've reached, you know, oh,

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Speaker 1: freedom now, and then then they do that trip around

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Speaker 1: the you know, the world, They go to Australia wherever

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Speaker 1: it is, and they come home and they're like, now,

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Speaker 1: what did you have a plan and an idea and

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Speaker 1: understanding of what you wanted to do and a purpose

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Speaker 1: and a reason? Because that after having aside from the

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Speaker 1: stressful nature of the job as a first responder and

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Speaker 1: seeing people on their best day rarely often their worst day,

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Speaker 1: sometimes that's a lot of carrying a burden for you emotionally.

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Speaker 1: A lot of times it's hard to show that the

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Speaker 1: decompressing of that period after has got to be something

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Speaker 1: difficult for some I don't know, some people maybe navigated differently.

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Speaker 1: But how did you figure that out? Or have you

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Speaker 1: figured it out? Aside from the fact that your buddies

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Speaker 1: are now watching you as you're saying, trying to help

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Speaker 1: them walk to it, Wow, you're pushing all the buttons tonight. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so welcome to my Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So you know, I felt like in my prime of

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Speaker 4: my career, I was probably handling the stress. There's stressors

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Speaker 4: of law enforcement first responders at a out of a ten,

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Speaker 4: ten being perfect like a seven and a half maybe

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Speaker 4: an eight. Once I was removed from the job, I

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Speaker 4: realized I was probably operating at like a four. Thank goodness,

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Speaker 4: my wife is a rock star, and she was just

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Speaker 4: you know, dealing with all the bs that I was

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Speaker 4: dealing with. You know that came out in short temperedness

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Speaker 4: and cynicism and just grumpy and detached from wanting to

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Speaker 4: do things. You know, there's still some things that linger. Like,

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Speaker 4: you know, I don't ask her to go to her

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Speaker 4: place of employment for a Friday air Saturday night. Don't

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Speaker 4: ask me to go downtown and hang out on a

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Speaker 4: Friday air Saturday night, because that was my office, that's

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Speaker 4: where I worked, That's where I did my work. So yeah,

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Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, it took me probably the better

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Speaker 4: part of a year to realize that, yeah, I wasn't

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Speaker 4: operating at the high level of managing all of that

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Speaker 4: that I thought I was. And going back to the

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Speaker 4: conversation just a few minutes ago, I want that to

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Speaker 4: be different for the people that I care about. One

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Speaker 4: of my good friends, my one of my my probably

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Speaker 4: my best friend, my brother and my other brothers getting

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Speaker 4: ready to retire, to two of my best friends, and

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Speaker 4: so I just wanted to be different for them, and

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Speaker 4: that's kind of how do I do that? Well, hopefully

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Speaker 4: you guys got some answers about that tonight.

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Speaker 1: A lot time.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about it right now, Dona d was Sterling

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Speaker 2: talking to Nate Young, retired Cincinnati police officer, my buddy

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Speaker 2: Lisa of thirty years. We're talking about retirement because this

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Speaker 2: is coming up a lot, a lot for me, A

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Speaker 2: lot of my friends are doing it. Lisa is one

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Speaker 2: of them who just retired. I think you haven't even

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Speaker 2: been a year, has it, Lisa? No, it's just the

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Speaker 2: beginning of March.

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Speaker 1: The beginning of March. So it's been a journey. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: nine ten months, it has been a journey.

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Speaker 2: Three five one, three seven, four nine seven one, eight hundred,

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Speaker 2: the big one.

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Speaker 1: Have you been thinking about retiring?

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Speaker 2: What is the scariest thing about retiring for you?

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Speaker 1: For me, I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Willie Nelson, who's still on the road at ninety two, right.

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Speaker 1: He's like, what do I have to retire from?

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Speaker 2: I'm playing music with my friends, I'm going out and chilling,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I'm kind of like, all right, Sterling, we.

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Speaker 1: We love our job. Here. It's let's be honest. What

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Speaker 1: are we going to drive? It was what they paid

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Speaker 1: me for tonight. All right, this is free. It's all

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Speaker 1: the preparation for it. Well, and that's the thing. I

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Speaker 1: have friends that are getting close to it, and I

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Speaker 1: can't imagine not doing this or something like it. And

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of different things to be able to

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Speaker 1: do in this realm as far as communication or you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know being a creative. I don't know about that.

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Speaker 1: This week, Oh you're a creator, I guess I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I'm creating really trouble sometimes, But I've seen

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Speaker 1: what happens with a couple of my friend's fathers who

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Speaker 1: when they retired, they did not have a purpose, and

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Speaker 1: you could tell it was brutal on them. I do

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Speaker 1: not want to be in that situation where I don't

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Speaker 1: have a reason. I don't have a purpose. I you know,

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Speaker 1: I talked to me, Oh, I'm bored, and as a

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Speaker 1: kid growing up this, well, you have no imagination. How

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Speaker 1: can you possibly be bored? I don't want to be bored.

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Speaker 1: And I find it difficult to imagine that I'm ever

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Speaker 1: going to be in a place where I don't have

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Speaker 1: a reason. If I do, then I've done something wrong.

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Speaker 1: At least I say that. Now we'll find out, however

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Speaker 1: long it takes. Sometimes they retire when you don't want to.

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Speaker 2: Lisa, what do you think the hard part is about

201
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Speaker 2: stepping away? I mean, you stopped making the money that

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Speaker 2: you were making. You had a pretty good job, and

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Speaker 2: you know, the health insurance was a big deal for you.

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Speaker 2: We talked about that a lot since March. What do

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Speaker 2: you think the biggest thing is?

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Speaker 3: You know, the biggest thing is financial, I think, but

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Speaker 3: you can prepare for that. And I will say this,

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Speaker 3: like in my early fifties, you've heard this story, Donna,

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Speaker 3: the CPA that I was working with at the time

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Speaker 3: is the one that really changed my life and said,

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Speaker 3: what the heck are you doing? You're traveling, you're working

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Speaker 3: all these different places. You got a home here, you've

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Speaker 3: got a home there. You know, what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: You know what's your plan? I'm like, well, I guess

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Speaker 3: I don't really have one. And when I put that

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Speaker 3: plan in place financially, by the time I arrived at retirement,

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Speaker 3: I was prepared for it and it gave me the

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Speaker 3: freedom to make the choices that I wanted to make.

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Speaker 3: And as far as like sterling, what you were talking about,

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Speaker 3: like what am I going to do to have a purpose?

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Speaker 3: I left knowing that there's going to be something else

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Speaker 3: out there.

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Speaker 1: You know. I had an.

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Speaker 3: Idea of what the day to day because to your point,

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Speaker 3: you're not always traveling the world. You got to come

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Speaker 3: home at some point and then what does your day

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Speaker 3: look like.

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Speaker 1: I actually thought that's what you were going to say.

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Speaker 1: That's why I asked you that question.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was going to be not having a purpose,

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Speaker 2: because that would be mine. That would be the hardest

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Speaker 2: thing for me to retire, would be not having a purpose.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I guess I've always known in the back

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Speaker 3: of my mind that I was going to go on

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Speaker 3: to do something else. And that's why I call it

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Speaker 3: the third act. I'm not retired. I'm just going on

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Speaker 3: to the next thing. I'm retired from the corporate world,

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Speaker 3: right and that high pressure sales quota hanging over my head.

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Speaker 3: It's been nice to have some relief from that. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I love my mornings now when I go get that

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Speaker 3: cup of coffee, my espresso, I'm like just chilling with

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Speaker 3: my dog. I go for a walk, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: all those other suckers are out there trying to make

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Speaker 3: their number.

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Speaker 1: But I please, I don't have time to talk. I

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Speaker 1: have four zooms. Today. She's like whatever, i'ven't seen her.

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Speaker 1: She's been wild and free.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about the first morning after retirement.

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Speaker 1: What was that like?

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Speaker 3: Well, your twin gave me a coffee mug that said

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Speaker 3: retirement on it and it said I can do. The

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Speaker 3: checklist was I can do whatever the hell I want.

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Speaker 1: Boom, And that was the start of my day.

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Speaker 3: I think I probably sent you guys photos with everything

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Speaker 3: that I was doing that day that had nothing.

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Speaker 1: To do with work. Probably took a walk, I mean

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Speaker 1: the relief. Actually, you know what, I packed up my car.

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Speaker 1: That's right. I forgot about this.

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Speaker 3: I packed up my car and I went to visit

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Speaker 3: my friends in Tampa for about three weeks and stayed

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Speaker 3: in a condo, you know, walked along the beach, walked

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Speaker 3: along the bay, visited with friends and kind of checked out.

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Speaker 3: I was ready to come back because I had all

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Speaker 3: kinds of projects, you know, that I wanted to do

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Speaker 3: around the house and that kind of thing, and was

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Speaker 3: looking forward to that.

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Speaker 1: But I'm loving having the space. I'm reading.

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Speaker 3: I got out my watercolors. I attempted guitar. I nea

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Speaker 3: Donna to help me with that. Oh and I bought

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Speaker 3: the turntable.

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Speaker 1: That's right, she's a new DJ. She's the old DJ.

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Speaker 2: We used to be sterling with two turntables and a microphone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah really, yeah, yeah kidding.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited about it, trying all these vintage albums,

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Speaker 3: and you know, all of a sudden, when you have space,

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Speaker 3: the creativity creeps in and the ideas creep in, and

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Speaker 3: I would say this, you really want to check it

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Speaker 3: all out, you know, and then you figure out where

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Speaker 3: you're going to land. So I've just created that space

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Speaker 3: for myself to have the adventure and know what it's

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Speaker 3: going to look like, you know, figure out what it's

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Speaker 3: going to look like. It's kind of calming. It's forming

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Speaker 3: right now as far as what's going to happen in

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: And what's interesting is that our parents and the generations

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Speaker 1: before them, it was usually one act and that the career,

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Speaker 1: and then we didn't live as long, we did not

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Speaker 1: live as well, and we had a different view. And

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Speaker 1: now people our age and younger, it's two or three

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Speaker 1: different careers. Like you say, the next thing, a third

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Speaker 1: act is what you said to Nate. And the fact is,

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Speaker 1: you know, you may do a couple of part time

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Speaker 1: things that end up being a full thing. You follow

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Speaker 1: your passion or whatever it is. You know, you want

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Speaker 1: to get that money first, whatever. You know, Hopefully you

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Speaker 1: wake up and want to go. You want to you know,

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Speaker 1: stay there when you're there, and hopefully you're not leaving going.

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Speaker 1: I never want to go back to that crab hole

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Speaker 1: again or whatever. Right, But multiple acts and living longer,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's really the trick. I mean, And

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you're enjoying it, Nate. You two, I mean,

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Speaker 1: early on in it or otherwise. I mean, you both

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Speaker 1: look happy and when you're talking about it, your eyes

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Speaker 1: light up, your face is champing.

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Speaker 2: Both.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's an amazing thing to see because I mean,

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Speaker 1: you can't hide that. You can fake a lot of things.

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Speaker 1: You can fake intimidation, you can fake confidence. But the

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Speaker 1: happiness and the glean in the eye when you start

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Speaker 1: talking about that freedom, that's not faking. You can't do that,

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Speaker 1: I don't think, or if you can, you're way better

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Speaker 1: than I No.

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Speaker 4: Uh, yeah, I just it's it's it's been awesome. It's

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Speaker 4: just been awesome. I you know, there's a few things

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Speaker 4: that come to mind. When Lisa was talking and we

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Speaker 4: had had a conversation about Uh, when I got on

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Speaker 4: the Cincinative Police Department, I knew that was my that

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Speaker 4: was where I was going to retire from. That's just

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Speaker 4: your calling. Yeah, I just I don't know if it's

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Speaker 4: I just knew it was going to be. Well, I

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Speaker 4: was going to retire from these young kids. Now they're

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Speaker 4: We're not. I'm not going to make retirement with this

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Speaker 4: at this job. I'm going to do something different. I'm like, well, well,

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Speaker 4: where do you go with that kind of experience? Where

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Speaker 4: does that parlay into the professional work or whatever. So, yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's just to your point, it seems that there's a

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Speaker 4: people are moving on to various acts throughout their professional career,

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Speaker 4: and that kind of is the trend versus when we

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Speaker 4: started where we started, That's where we ended for the

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Speaker 4: most part.

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Speaker 1: Right, I like looking at it that way.

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Speaker 2: The third act, when we get back, I do want

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Speaker 2: to ask you the hardest part about you stepping away,

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Speaker 2: because I want to know what that is.

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Speaker 1: Nate.

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Speaker 2: Plus, we're going to get into the city gritty on

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Speaker 2: how much money.

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Speaker 1: Does it take to retire?

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Speaker 2: We are going to talk about that five one, three, seven, four, nine,

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Speaker 2: seven thousand. If you want to weigh in and talk

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Speaker 2: about the scariest thing about retirement for you, or if

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Speaker 2: you have any questions for Nate and Lisa's Donna D

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Speaker 2: Saturday Night with Sterling, my partner. On this winter blistery,

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Speaker 2: cold Cincinnati night, We're going to get news and weather

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Speaker 2: coming up and hopefully the snow will stop.

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Speaker 1: Don A D seven hundred WLW Cincinnati.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back Donna D along with my co host Sterling.

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Speaker 2: Normally this is that little crazy show I do on

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Speaker 2: Saturday nights about relationship. Sterling, I wanted you to stay,

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Speaker 2: not only because you can't get home, but because you're

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Speaker 2: forced to.

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Speaker 1: Hang out with me on this snowy and if we

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Speaker 1: have to walk to us. You make it sound that

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Speaker 1: this is not a like a combative. That is combative

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Speaker 1: and not like something we appreciate each other's work.

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Speaker 5: Again, no, I do in our fourth hour on air

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Speaker 5: to long time, I Love you, Love You.

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Speaker 2: We also have my buddy for thirty years, Lisa Reikert,

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Speaker 2: who we're talking about retirement. This is kind of a

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Speaker 2: subject that's been appearing in my life for a long time.

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Speaker 1: And it's not only uh. It takes a toll.

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Speaker 2: On on on people around you because you change, Lisa,

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Speaker 2: when you make the decision to retire, a lot of

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Speaker 2: things change in your life.

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Speaker 1: What would you say is the biggest?

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Speaker 2: And Nate, I want to get to you right after this,

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Speaker 2: but what is the biggest thing that changes when you

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Speaker 2: decide it's your time to step away?

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Speaker 1: Oh geez, you didn't prepare me for this one. I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I was going to go right to Nate, and then

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Speaker 2: I started talking to you, like for you don't have

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Speaker 2: a glass of wine.

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Speaker 3: You know, I guess I would say that you don't

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Speaker 3: know all the answers you.

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Speaker 1: It's like.

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Speaker 3: You asked me the hardest part, and I think the

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Speaker 3: hardest part is financial. But the biggest thing that happened

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Speaker 3: was that I realized I stepped out of the boat

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Speaker 3: in the middle of the ocean and I wasn't standing

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Speaker 3: on anything, you know, I'm just out here floating, going, oh, okay,

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Speaker 3: what is next? But I did that on purpose because

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Speaker 3: I wanted to give myself the space to figure out

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Speaker 3: what was coming. I had some ideas of what it

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Speaker 3: could look like, but I didn't want to be one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent. You and I talk about Stephen Bartlett all

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Speaker 3: the time in the fifty one percent rule, and it's

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Speaker 3: never going to be one hundred percent. When you are

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Speaker 3: fifty one percent sure that you're there, you've got to

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Speaker 3: take steps in the direction to start getting answers. The

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Speaker 3: knowledge comes when you start moving towards something. And I

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Speaker 3: knew that I was okay financially to be able to

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Speaker 3: take the plunge, and I knew I had an idea

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Speaker 3: of what each day could look like, but I was

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Speaker 3: okay with not knowing exactly for sure.

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Speaker 2: And so it's fun almost. It's fun, is throwing what's

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Speaker 2: coming up next?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: It is, really, It is very fun. And I surprise

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Speaker 3: myself about how when you talk about change, I feel

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Speaker 3: like I grew in ways that were just really unexpected

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Speaker 3: in a positive way. But I also realize that there's

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Speaker 3: one piece of this that is tough to look at, too,

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Speaker 3: and that's that if you're looking ahead at your third act,

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Speaker 3: you know that you're in your third act, you are

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Speaker 3: on the back nine, and so you kind of face

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Speaker 3: your mortality. And I didn't realize that I was going

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Speaker 3: to see that.

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Speaker 2: So some scary stuff in there, some fun stuff in there,

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Speaker 2: some exciting stuff in there.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot mixed into one.

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Speaker 2: And Nate Young, former Cincinnati police officer, you've been on

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Speaker 2: the job for thirty one years minus the last two

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Speaker 2: years that you've decided to retire. What was the hardest

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Speaker 2: part for you about stepping away? Was it you know,

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Speaker 2: the you know the craziness of being a police officer

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Speaker 2: for thirty one years?

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Speaker 1: Is it missing your buddies? What is it? Wow, that's

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Speaker 1: a deep one. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I miss I miss my co workers. They're you know,

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Speaker 4: despite what sometimes how we get painted. Ninety nine point

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Speaker 4: nine percent of those people are great people trying to

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Speaker 4: do the right thing, and we get put in a

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Speaker 4: lot of precarious and dangerous situations where the fraction of

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Speaker 4: a fraction of a second we're making decisions about, you know,

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Speaker 4: whether we live or die or maybe someone else does.

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Speaker 4: And so, you know, I miss them and I miss

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Speaker 4: you know, I miss their camaraderie and the fun that

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Speaker 4: we had at work.

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Speaker 1: We had a lot of fun.

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Speaker 2: I love that he called them coworkers police officers ken

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Speaker 2: and also we look at them that this was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, they're the people that keep us safe most often,

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Speaker 2: and he says, my co workers.

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Speaker 1: I just found that funny. So so okay, So was

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Speaker 1: that the hardest part.

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Speaker 4: Or what was as we talked about a little bit earlier,

437
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 4: it was it was unburned. It was unpacking and unburning

438
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 4: myself with the stressor of the job, the stresses of

439
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 4: the job that I thought I was handling really well,

440
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,119
Speaker 4: and come to find out, I probably wasn't handling them

441
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 4: as well as I thought. And that was kind of

442
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 4: where I where I fell short and preparing. And then

443
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 4: it took me, you know, about a year to figure out,

444
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 4: do some self self awareness and some self checks and

445
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 4: kind of be honest with myself that I didn't do

446
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 4: a great job and I probably wasn't doing as good

447
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 4: as I thought I was. After retirement, and went on

448
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,239
Speaker 4: a road trip with one of my best friends and

449
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 4: he's trying to step out of his career field of

450
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 4: being a realtor and he's just he's a he's just

451
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 4: probably one of the best, if not the best, in

452
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 4: the city. And uh, he thinks he's semi retired, but

453
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 4: he's still chest deep in the pool. And we had

454
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 4: that conversation about in our career field of law enforcement,

455
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 4: we have a couple of different operating level and one

456
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 4: is red. You're in the fight. The fight's happening, the

457
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 4: it with the sh in front of it is happening.

458
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 4: We're in the middle of it. And you have an

459
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,239
Speaker 4: orange where it's likely to be happening. You're expecting it

460
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 4: to happen. It's in the shadows, it's coming out yellow.

461
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 4: We're worried about something happening and we don't see it,

462
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 4: but maybe it is going to happen. In green is

463
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 4: your safe space where you should be. So I'm trying

464
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 4: to maybe I'm still in the yellow a little bit.

465
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 4: I'm trying to live more in the green. And I

466
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 4: feel like my good friend was probably still in the

467
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 4: red and he didn't recognize that, and we had a

468
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,959
Speaker 4: conversation about it, and my thing to him it was,

469
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 4: you know, try to get there sooner rather than later

470
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 4: if you're going to retire it, because it's it's It

471
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 4: benefits you, it benefits your family, it benefits all the

472
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 4: people around you. You know, I was grumpy, old man

473
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 4: with a short temper on the job, and I've actually

474
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 4: the most thing. The thing I'm most proud of post

475
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 4: retirement is reconnecting with my number one Jamie, your wife.

476
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, you're getting emotional about it, and I can

477
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 2: see an oh.

478
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: And my kids, of course, my kids and everybody around.

479
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: So it took you. It's one of the best things ever,

480
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 1: by the way, but then you could hear it, and

481
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 1: that's what it's about, right, That's sort of what you

482
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,640
Speaker 1: work for though, right, is leading up to that opportunity

483
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: to reconnect because you work for them. You may work

484
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 1: for the community as a police officer or anything else,

485
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 1: but you're working for your family. You're working for that

486
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: next thing, whatever it is.

487
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 4: And to do that reconnect and think good as she's

488
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 4: a saint and she put up with all my crap

489
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 4: and you know my good days, my okay days, you

490
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 4: know my bad days, and you know, I just it

491
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 4: took it. I'm like, wow, I just had to pour

492
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 4: aside a couple of times and say thanks, Yeah, that's great.

493
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 2: So Nate, I wanted So it took you to get

494
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 2: some space away from the job to be able to

495
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 2: even see that you were in the red, that you

496
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 2: had this level of stress. So what do you think

497
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 2: your your co could do? I mean, you know, I

498
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 2: could give them a million to meditate your kind.

499
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 1: They're not gonna listen to me.

500
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,679
Speaker 2: Maybe they will, but I mean, what, what would you

501
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: tell them a step to do right now so that

502
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 2: they can step away and see, hey, maybe I'm stressed too.

503
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

504
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 4: I think we've all the police departments across the nation,

505
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 4: and the Cincinnati Police Department is just a fantastic organization. Probably,

506
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 4: I know I'm biased, one of the best in the

507
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 4: country for sure. And there's been a lot of movement

508
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 4: in the in the path of mental health for the officers,

509
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,919
Speaker 4: and I think the City of Cincinnati Police Department is

510
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 4: taking that serious. And there's some programs out there and

511
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 4: some things that are available to officers now that weren't

512
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 4: available when I first came on. Suck it Up, Buttercup.

513
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 4: We got the next radio run to go to and

514
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 4: we're gonna move on. So I think there's awareness about that,

515
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 4: and I think it's getting better. What can someone personally

516
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 4: do be president in the moment of your job, and

517
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 4: you know, look, take it for what it is and

518
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 4: where you're at in that moment, but you also retirement

519
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 4: is coming and you've got to get prepared for it mentally.

520
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,919
Speaker 4: Financially and all these other things. So I just it's coming.

521
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 4: Retirement is coming. Just keep that in mind.

522
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: And for Stirling and I, Sterling and I are going

523
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: to be still on this radio station. Maybe maybe, I hope.

524
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: So yeah.

525
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 4: So it's just it's a it's yeah, live in the moment,

526
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 4: being present in the moment of the occupation very important

527
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 4: for our specific occupation. And then you know that it's coming,

528
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 4: and work keep that in mind, working that work in

529
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 4: that direction, so to speak.

530
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: Well, what's interesting is what you said, because I've worked

531
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: in some fashion with guys doing detail work, which is

532
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 1: different than the everyday job because it's a little bit

533
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 1: more relaxed generally. No less dangerous, No, no, not definitely,

534
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: not even you know, just with a badge on a belt,

535
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: you know, in a hat in the midst of doing

536
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: the work. But you said something that is really wild.

537
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: I remember as a kid watching like Barney Miller, which,

538
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 1: by the way, that side life on the street, talking

539
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: to all kinds of guys that have been different levels

540
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: of law enforcement, women too, even FBI crossed the way here.

541
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: They have told me that that in some ways is

542
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: probably the closest to realistic of a situation of working

543
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 1: in a squad room or whatever else in a situation

544
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 1: of guys interacting that there could possibly be. But that

545
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: was a kid coming up in the late seventies and

546
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: early eighties. Except for homicide life on the street, and

547
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 1: I've talked to some murder police in Cincinnati who have

548
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: gotten a lot of attention, like first forty eight and

549
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: that type of thing. But you just mentioned this about

550
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: in the time that you were on the job, coming

551
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 1: to a point of mental health and balance and getting

552
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: to a healthier place was just becoming something more commonplace

553
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 1: and looking at it rather than you've been involved in

554
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: a tough engagement. It's been a hot situation. Maybe somebody

555
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: didn't go home or could not have gone home. Well,

556
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: it's the next call. Suck it up, buttercup. Whatever. It's

557
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 1: taken a long time to go to a place where

558
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 1: you have to worry about the person because you're doing

559
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,719
Speaker 1: the job. You're better on the job when you're mentally

560
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: and taken care of, and you're better with your family. Yeah,

561
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 1: you know, we what do we do?

562
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 4: We get our oil change in our car everyow three

563
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 4: thousand and five thousand miles. We get our air ducts

564
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 4: in our house, blown out, change the filters in the furnace.

565
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.

566
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 4: The most important part of that CINCINNTI Police Department, or

567
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 4: the men and the women with their boots on the

568
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 4: ground in the streets. And although they haven't traditionally done

569
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 4: a good job with the maintenance on those people, and

570
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 4: they're people, they're humans, And so how do we get

571
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 4: better at that within the Cincinnati Police Department? I say

572
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 4: we I'm not there anymore, but there's still my people

573
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 4: back there. Of course, how do we get better and

574
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 4: doing that? And what does that look like? I don't know.

575
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 4: I'm not that smart, but I want that for them.

576
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 4: So and I think there's a trend moving in that direction,

577
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 4: is tracking in that direction. But uh, you know, and

578
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 4: we're supposed to be tough people, right, We're not supposed

579
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 4: to have too many emotions. We're not supposed to be

580
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 4: you know, acknowledged that that shook us up a little bit,

581
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 4: or that bothered us or whatever. And I think we've

582
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 4: got to kind of, you know, acknowledge that we got

583
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 4: break that down a little bit. And it's okay to

584
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,479
Speaker 4: you get upset. It's okay to be upset. You know,

585
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 4: there's a time and a place. If bullets are flying,

586
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 4: we can't huddle up and talk about it right then

587
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 4: and there. We'll have to get through this together. But

588
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 4: you know, let's let's decompress and talk about a little bit.

589
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 4: So I think it's trending in that direction where we're

590
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,919
Speaker 4: going to do maintenance on the people, the humans that

591
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 4: are doing the job, and then that's a good thing.

592
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,439
Speaker 4: How does that look? And who's doing it? It's not me,

593
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 4: I'm not that smart, but I hope we got some

594
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 4: people working on it that can do that.

595
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 1: How many women on the forest that you worked with?

596
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 4: I know we are trying to get it up to

597
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 4: about thirty three percent of the force. Probably I'm going

598
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 4: to guess here in the seven to eight hundred total numbers,

599
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 4: whatever that number is, we're not there. My partner for

600
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 4: the last oh jeez, if I get this wrong, I'll

601
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 4: probably get yelled at by her to six seven eight

602
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 4: years was a woman, great lady, Kata Warner. She's a

603
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 4: rock star with another partner of mine, very famous BT

604
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 4: Green police officer he was. And I've had a lot

605
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 4: of fe male police officers that I worked with, and

606
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 4: they are what an asset to the police department. You know,

607
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 4: you go to a radio run and you got your

608
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 4: chest pumped out and you want to be tough and

609
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 4: point your finger out people and tell them how this

610
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 4: is going to go down, and you probably instigate a

611
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 4: confrontation because you're you're just a man and that's the

612
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 4: way it's going to go down. And then you got

613
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 4: this five foot two nothing little female setting next to

614
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,239
Speaker 4: you that escalates the whole thing and just shuts that

615
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 4: guy down. And you're like, you know, like, oh, well,

616
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 4: I guess I could have done that a little bit different,

617
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 4: a different way to go, And I'm like, this is

618
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 4: a good thing, right learn. Yeah, So you know, uh,

619
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 4: you know, the women on the police department are awesome.

620
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,640
Speaker 4: They do a fantastic job. Just it's just a great group.

621
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 2: They have to be tough too, I mean when you say,

622
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: you know, we're big tough and yeah, I mean that's

623
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 2: what I was going to say. And we're going to

624
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 2: talk more about that in a minute, Lisa. Let's get

625
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 2: to the nitty gritty here, though. How much money do

626
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: you need? I know you are someone that dots her

627
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 2: eyes crossed or tease, you ask a million questions, you

628
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: prepare yourself for almost everything. I know, you know a number,

629
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: tell us what you know, basically you should have if

630
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 2: you're going to retire at someone's.

631
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: Say sixty two, sixty three, sixty four.

632
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, Donna, you're not going to like my answer because

633
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 3: it is definitely not about a number. I mean, we're

634
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 3: all sitting in this room and could require completely different things.

635
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 3: And so when I go back to talk about the

636
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 3: financial piece of it and planning for it, there's two

637
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 3: things that I would say that you need to look

638
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 3: at it.

639
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: It's not just having.

640
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 3: A portfolio manager, somebody that's managing your money and where

641
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 3: it's at and what it's making. It's having somebody that's

642
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 3: helping you develop a really comprehensive plan because you're looking

643
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 3: it is unique. Two people are going to have the

644
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 3: same mortgage or maybe no mortgage, maybe it's rent. Maybe

645
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 3: they don't have the same plans for what they want

646
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 3: to do and their retirement, kids and their kids, grandkids.

647
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: What do you want to leave behind?

648
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 3: You got to work with somebody that's going to put

649
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 3: all that information into a system that's going to kind

650
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 3: of calculate that for you. And how many years do

651
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 3: you have, you know, anticipated by the time that you retire.

652
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 2: So sorry, but everything would you say, though discussed this,

653
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 2: we need at least a million.

654
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: You'd think, I mean, you'd hope. I mean, I don't know.

655
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: But everybody I've ever talked to us as you always

656
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: want more just in case. I mean, the leading cause

657
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: of bankruptcy in the United States has been for a

658
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: long time medical cost, and that's increasing too. So that's

659
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: the thing you haven't even gotten into that.

660
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna have to come back and do one

661
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 2: more segment on retirement because I want Nate's opinion on

662
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 2: how much money you need. Plus, since we have this

663
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: cool dynamic, we have a party in the studio here,

664
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 2: we have too many two women. We have to do

665
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 2: some battle of this. We haven't done that. That's coming back.

666
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 2: It's done a D tonight along with my buddy Sterling,

667
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 2: who's sticking with me in this snowstorm, and Lisa and

668
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 2: Nate thank you so much for sticking with us as well.

669
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: We'll be back seven hundred w LW Cincinnati Surday night.

670
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: It's done a.

671
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 2: D along with my co host Sterling, who stayed with me.

672
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 2: It looks Sterling, I mean, I'm looking out my phone,

673
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 2: and it looks like we stop snowing.

674
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean eighteen no second until the end of

675
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: this thought. That was like a subtle hint.

676
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 2: It's eighteen degrees going to be fourteen maybe ten to

677
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,959
Speaker 2: twelve degrees for the Bengals game tomorrow kickoff?

678
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: Is it one perfect playing Baltimore. They got to win this.

679
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: I mean, they need to win out and they need

680
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: hope like other teams just quitting. Yeah, I don't.

681
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 5: Mean to be.

682
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 1: I don't mean to be I'm an optimist. I mean,

683
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: you all know the situation we're in.

684
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 2: Let's just hope that we can pull a win out

685
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 2: for tomorrow because it's going to be cold, cold, cold Lee.

686
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 2: He's a riker, my buddy of thirty years, been in

687
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: the studio with us as well as retired police officer

688
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 2: Nate Young. It's been an interesting conversation about retirement. We

689
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 2: all some of us really can't wait for that finish line,

690
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 2: and some of us don't ever want to get there.

691
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: It's been it's been enlightening for me, Sterling.

692
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 2: I mean, we're a little ways away for retirement, both

693
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 2: of us, and we've talked about it. We talked about

694
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 2: it without knowing anything, how much money we think you

695
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 2: should have, and that's going to be in the million

696
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: dollar range.

697
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: I think at least that's what we want unless you

698
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: die fast and then and I put it, look at

699
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 1: it like this, Well, no, I mean I'm planning it.

700
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: I want to end at zero, right, I mean in

701
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: a perfect way to lieve anything left for Enid. I

702
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: mean maybe some charities or something. I have a pet

703
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: turtle who will likely outlive me that I've had since

704
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: I was eight. I got in the woods mushroom hunting

705
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: and prebble and she. I think the oldest in captivity

706
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 1: is one hundred and fifteen years. So no matter how

707
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: much yoga you get me into, or how much yogurt

708
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: I eat from grease, how much less coffee I consume,

709
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 1: I'm not making one fifteen so other than taking care

710
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 1: of her.

711
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 2: And who would want to just a forty more years

712
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 2: to pay bills?

713
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 1: No, thank you, Nate.

714
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 2: We were talking earlier, right, So Lisa kind of she

715
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 2: didn't dodge the question on how much money she has

716
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 2: that I'm asking her to to bulge this in front

717
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 2: of all of Cincinnati, But how much money you need

718
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 2: or would feel comfortable that might be the better way

719
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 2: of saying it to retire because a lot of people, Nate,

720
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 2: we were just talking about this, A lot of people

721
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 2: still have to work because of health insurance alone. I mean,

722
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 2: the big deal in this country and many others is that, hey,

723
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 2: health insurance. You worked forty hours a week, you get

724
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 2: a four oh one K, you get health insurance. After

725
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 2: you retire, that's all gone. So what would you say

726
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 2: on how much money that someone should plan for?

727
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 4: Can I phone a friend and that friend would be

728
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 4: my wife and she would tell me how much money

729
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 4: I need for retirement. She is the bank of Jamie

730
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 4: and she keeps.

731
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: The answer is a lot. So I'm not going to

732
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: do much much better than Lisa did.

733
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,919
Speaker 4: I think I'm in a fortunate situation where I draw

734
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 4: a pension. I feel like that's going to be a

735
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,720
Speaker 4: thing of the past as we move forward.

736
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: I know a couple might.

737
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 4: Well, you know, at least one is in a career

738
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 4: field where there's not a pension. It's on him to

739
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 4: do his four oh one K and all that stuff.

740
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 4: So yeah, that's a that's a pretty big question with

741
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 4: a man. I don't I don't know what to say

742
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 4: A million doesn't seem like enough nowadays, does it.

743
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you're look at we're both nodding our

744
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: head yet, and it depends on how long you expect

745
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: to live and how you want to live, right, do

746
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: you want to be free to roam about the planet?

747
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: Is you're choosing? You know, I want to go to Australia.

748
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,359
Speaker 1: I want to go diving in a great barrier reef

749
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: before it's gone, whatever it is, And that that's really

750
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: the the choices you have to sort of, you know,

751
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,439
Speaker 1: look at and say how much that cost? And health

752
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 1: care not cheap. It's tough.

753
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 2: But if you do have twenty after retirement twenty twenty

754
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 2: five thirty years to live, which a lot of people

755
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 2: do without you know, an income coming in that that

756
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 2: would be a little scary for me.

757
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,760
Speaker 1: I would think, definitely.

758
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: So if you've got a pension and you have insurance,

759
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 2: you're kind of good.

760
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 4: I feel very blessed in that way that we both

761
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 4: draw a pension. She's retired from twenty plus years in

762
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 4: the United States Air Force, so she has a pension.

763
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 4: Our health care comes from her service. So that was

764
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 4: we're really good on that. I wish again, circling back

765
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 4: to trying to pave this path for my good friends

766
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 4: coming behind me. Is I wish I would have really

767
00:36:55,320 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 4: realized that retirement is going to happen. Get your stuff

768
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 4: together and get it, get it going. I was kind

769
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 4: of a late bloomer in that sense where I'm like, oh,

770
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 4: this is really going to happen. How do I make

771
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 4: up some ground here? And things like that, And you know,

772
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 4: I probably short changed myself and the family a little

773
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 4: bit by not uh really seeing down the road that

774
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 4: that clearly. So I, you know, I just it's going

775
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 4: to happen. Get prepared for Go talk to someone professionally.

776
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 4: There's with the police department. They do a lot of

777
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 4: things where you can go to talk to people for

778
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 4: free and they'll and they'll help you out. And you know,

779
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 4: law enforcement they want to, you know, help that community.

780
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 4: And so we have a lot of resources that probably

781
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 4: a lot of other people pay for that we people

782
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 4: will just get us started to help us with. So

783
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 4: there's no reason not to get on top of that early.

784
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 4: I wish I had done a better job.

785
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: Powerball is a billion dollars, the great Plan. I love it.

786
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: That's my plans.

787
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't happen in corporate either nobody's

788
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,439
Speaker 3: pulling you aside to talk about your retirement to eat

789
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 3: and and you know what you want it to look like.

790
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 3: I mean, you really have to lean on mentors. I mean,

791
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 3: my aunt and uncle had retired before me, but their

792
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 3: picture looks much different than what you know mine looks like.

793
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 3: But you have to talk to your friends, which I

794
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 3: have about, like what is my vision for it? What

795
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 3: do I need emotionally, what do I need in my

796
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 3: day to day activity. It's all of it, and we

797
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 3: do need to be talking about it. And I realized,

798
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,319
Speaker 3: because I was going through it, I really didn't know

799
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 3: anyone that was my age that was going through the

800
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 3: exact same thing that I was going through. And I

801
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 3: leaned on Donna and Claire and our friend Kathy and

802
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 3: talked with them quite a bit. But it nobody's gonna

803
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 3: do it for you. I would say, start, if you

804
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 3: are in your fifties, start looking at it and look

805
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 3: at what you're spending is to be able to prepare

806
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 3: for that aspect of it, and then start writing down

807
00:38:58,440 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 3: some of the things that you think that you'd like

808
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 3: to be doing, and you got to put that into

809
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 3: your plan.

810
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: Too.

811
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,879
Speaker 3: You know, it's exciting. It is something that we should

812
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 3: look forward to. When you said stuff, Nate, I didn't

813
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 3: know what you meant by that. You said, I wish

814
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 3: I would have had my stuff together earlier.

815
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: What did that? What did you mean by stuff?

816
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 4: I probably might have done a little bit of a

817
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 4: disservice to this, to the police department in the sense

818
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 4: that they do put people in front of us that

819
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 4: talk about preparing for retirement and different accounts, and we

820
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 4: have some awesome programs uh for retirement for the police officers.

821
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 1: Uh.

822
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 4: Police officers nature is to kind of rebuff some of that,

823
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 4: and you know, we're worried about catching bad guys and

824
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 4: kicking ass and taking names. We don't have time for

825
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 4: the thought of retirement. And so I just kind.

826
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 3: Of but do you mean, like what you're going to

827
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,280
Speaker 3: do in contributions?

828
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 5: Wow, Jesel, these two know each other by the way,

829
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 5: they're just that strangers fighting right now.

830
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 4: I personally didn't worry worry about what I was going

831
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 4: to do in retirement. I'm really good at doing nothing.

832
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 4: I think I've got that one licked. So I wasn't

833
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 4: worried about that time. But I knew there would be

834
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 4: things that would come up. We're not you know, we're

835
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 4: a pretty active family. We got we got a lake

836
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 4: life down south in Tennessee that keeps us really busy,

837
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 4: and we got a lot of things. So I wasn't

838
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 4: worried about what I was going to do. I feel

839
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 4: like that would have came to me organically, and it

840
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 4: kind of has a lot of different personal things have

841
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 4: happened that have kept me busy some other things. So

842
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 4: the financial piece, though, ladies and gentlemen, if you're a

843
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 4: friend of mine and you're listening, get on it early

844
00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 4: and take care of it because it makes it makes

845
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 4: the world a lot better when you retire and get

846
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:43,800
Speaker 4: a lot more freedom.

847
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 1: You know, most people don't have a thousand dollars in

848
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 1: a just in case like emergency fund. And you know,

849
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: you think, okay, social Security going to be around in

850
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: ten or twenty years, what's that healthcare situation going to be? Like?

851
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: It's getting worse as we speak, going into January now

852
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: for a whole lot of people who buy their you

853
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: know as contractors or independent contractors whatever, buying directly, and

854
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 1: it's even going up if you have it under the

855
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: umbrella where you work. So if most people don't have

856
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars put aside in case the worst thing

857
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: happens on the way home tonight. Uh, that was ironic.

858
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: Then you know, certainly the idea of having a million

859
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: or two million or whatever it is that you think

860
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 1: is going to be necessary to get through ten twenty

861
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: thirty years down the line of a roof over your

862
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 1: head and being able to take a trip if you

863
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: want to, even if it's not around the world for

864
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: whatever reason or something. That's the trick, Like you said

865
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 1: at LISTA, now you know the same way it NATed.

866
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: Now is the time because tomorrow never comes.

867
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 2: But sometimes it's like, I got enough on my plate.

868
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 2: What am I gonna do think about twenty years from now?

869
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to think about it. I

870
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 2: mean even this conversation now has given me, Like you know,

871
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 2: it's like when we talk about space junk you're loading.

872
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,319
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need all this. I have enough

873
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: on my plate. How am I supposed to think about retirement? Donna?

874
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 3: That night that my CPA, his name's Todd, when he

875
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 3: had that conversation with me. I was in California working

876
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 3: and I called him because I said, hey, I haven't

877
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 3: done my tax returns yet this year and it's April

878
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 3: and he's like, wait, wait a minute, where are you now?

879
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 3: And I said, I'm on a project out in California

880
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 3: and he's like, when you get home, we need to talk.

881
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:33,760
Speaker 3: And that conversation that I had with him was really

882
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: hard to hear. I mean, he was like, what are

883
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 3: you doing. You've got this place in Florida, but you're

884
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 3: living in Cincinnati. Now you're considering moving to California. Lisa,

885
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 3: I just I'm concerned for you, and take me to

886
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 3: dinner and we'll chat.

887
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: And it was hard.

888
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 3: It was hard to listen to Donna, But I'm really

889
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 3: glad I did because guess what, it helped me make

890
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 3: decisions about my career going forward. And guess what. I

891
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 3: didn't change my lifestyle. I just increase my income.

892
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 2: Right, And you were you were my age at that point,

893
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 2: so you were in your mid fifties when you when

894
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,920
Speaker 2: you had that conversation, and that kind of puts you

895
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 2: on track to be able to say, you know, it's

896
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 2: sixty two, I can retire.

897
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's an.

898
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 2: Early age too, don't Nate, how old do you mind

899
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 2: telling me your age.

900
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 1: By the way, thirty five, my man, he started on

901
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: the early Yeah.

902
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a little guy on the way that program.

903
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 5: Don't worry about it.

904
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 1: To be fifty eight this April.

905
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So you retired at your six fifty six somewhere

906
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 2: around here.

907
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: So since NAT that's early. Wow.

908
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 4: Forty eight years of age and twenty five years in service.

909
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,240
Speaker 4: That's a young retirement, is absolutely Now there's a program

910
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 4: where you can stay on for an additional eight years,

911
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 4: up to eight years if you want. So that makes

912
00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 4: you fifty six if my math is correct, right, Yeah,

913
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 4: so that's still a very very young age to retire,

914
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 4: so a lot of time. Yeah, so where you know,

915
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 4: how much money does one need if they're retiring at

916
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 4: that age?

917
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: You know?

918
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 4: So I harkened back to my pension. Very fortunate for that,

919
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 4: our pensions and you know, the healthcare is a big

920
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 4: piece for us. I will tell you if we're on

921
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 4: the financial part of it. A retirement program that we're

922
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 4: offered by the police department that I participated in. You

923
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 4: have a big, big, big love sum of money at

924
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 4: the end of retirement, and we wanted to do something

925
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 4: with that money. So we withdrew that money, took a

926
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 4: penalty on it, paid federal taxes on it. And what

927
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 4: we didn't realize is that bumped us up from whatever

928
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:41,760
Speaker 4: all the tax whatever little tax bracket we were into

929
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 4: something astronomical to us. And then that kicked our butts.

930
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 4: And so nobody told me that, like this is this

931
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 4: is tax free money, this is free money.

932
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 1: Go get your money to use, go get it out.

933
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 4: Well, the federal government government's going to get you on it,

934
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 4: and then it's going to push you up at another tax bracket.

935
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 4: And we're and we just we were taking punches left

936
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 4: and right and not knowing what happened.

937
00:44:59,360 --> 00:44:59,879
Speaker 1: And here we are.

938
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 4: We generally get some money back as a return at

939
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,720
Speaker 4: the end of the year, and here we are owing

940
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 4: more money than could ever imagined possible.

941
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: Nobody prepared us for that. We didn't understand that. I didn't.

942
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 1: That hurts just hearing it. Yeah, so there's things.

943
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 4: You know, that money is sitting there when you go

944
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 4: to get it, it's going to cost you to get it.

945
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's quite you know, just another shot.

946
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 6: I'm sweating, like this is kind of scary conversation have,

947
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,320
Speaker 6: but at our age, you know worth you know we are.

948
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 1: Going to retire.

949
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: That is a that is a fact from because I

950
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 2: have a day job and Strilling does too with this

951
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 2: is kind of our side hustle and fun stuff too.

952
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 2: In a yoga instruct There's always gonna be things I'm

953
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 2: going to do. But the main job, the forty hour

954
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: plus a week, where that's the grind of it. That's

955
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 2: the one where it's going to be like, yeah, I'm

956
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 2: pretty tired, like Forrest, come pretty tired. I just want

957
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,800
Speaker 2: to go home, and there's gonna be a point where

958
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: all of us reach at least that. How do you

959
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,760
Speaker 2: feel about this conversation tonight's stelling.

960
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: I feel a little ill. No, I'm excited about it.

961
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm just excited about life in general and being prepared

962
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 1: as a part of it. And even if it's a

963
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 1: huge game of catch up, then you just have to

964
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: put the right mindset behind it and say this is

965
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, this is the task in front of me.

966
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,359
Speaker 1: Most people go, I'll get to it later. It's like, oh,

967
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 1: I think there might be a leak in the roof. Well,

968
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 1: if you haven't been in the attic and you haven't

969
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: seen and you haven't made a call to somebody who

970
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: may know something more with experience than you. Then you

971
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 1: get a leaky roof that water just keeps on coming.

972
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: And that's no different than you know, bills and obligations

973
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 1: and responsibilities and everything else that goes with it. So

974
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: now is the time to get in front of it,

975
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 1: and at the end of the year, to get your

976
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: ducks in a row, talk to somebody who knows more

977
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: than you or what have you is probably a wise

978
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,399
Speaker 1: idea going into the new year.

979
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 2: Absolutely all right, So we're going to end this conversation

980
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:01,359
Speaker 2: and it's been very good because going to get into battle.

981
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 1: Of sex is coming up in the next break.

982
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: Lisa, what is one piece of advice you'd like to

983
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 2: give to anyone? One piece of advice? And it could

984
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 2: be something you've already said tonight, but just sum it

985
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 2: up on and then Nate, I'm going to ask you

986
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 2: the same thing. What do you think people should know

987
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 2: above anything else?

988
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 3: Okay, this is going to be a three part answer,

989
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 3: even though you tell me one.

990
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: Okay, give it to me.

991
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 3: Start start planning for it now, and then just be

992
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 3: present and do your life. You know, when you have

993
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 3: your plan in place, you just work the plan and

994
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden it appears it's time and

995
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 3: you get to choose and the freedom is amazing. So

996
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 3: just you know, whatever age you are, start to get

997
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 3: ready for it. Come up with a plan, have a plan, yeah, yeah,

998
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 3: have some sort of idea when and how Yeah, And

999
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 3: then like Joe, you can say, Hey, I'm experiencing joy

1000
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 3: and I want to keep playing, or I'm not.

1001
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 2: I it's not fun anymore about You'll have the freedom

1002
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: to figure it out. Nate, what would you say one

1003
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 2: piece of advice, something that you really want to impress

1004
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 2: on everybody on this conversation that we've had so enlightening tonight.

1005
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,440
Speaker 4: Well, Lisa stole my answer, So I try to think

1006
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 4: of something on the fly here that sounds really intelligent.

1007
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 4: Be president of the moment is a huge piece of it.

1008
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 4: We talked about that and it's coming, so prepare for it.

1009
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 4: Life is good at post retirement. I'm here to tell

1010
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 4: you I will stand up and raise my hand and

1011
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 4: preach that from the highest mountain every day of the week.

1012
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 4: It's it's a great life. So uh, get your get

1013
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 4: your stuff and order and get your ducks in a row.

1014
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 4: Get your ducks in a row. And uh it's it's

1015
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 4: a good time. Uh yeah, get your stuff in order

1016
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 4: and it's coming, so just be rid of.

1017
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 1: Well that's exciting.

1018
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,479
Speaker 2: At least they both who have Lisa's retired this year,

1019
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 2: Nate's been two years in. They're both loving it, so

1020
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 2: that's good. All we have to do, Sterling, is figure

1021
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,760
Speaker 2: figure out how to get.

1022
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: Yeah power, Polly. Was it a billion dollars one billion,

1023
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 1: four hundred some million cash payout instead of the annuity

1024
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:10,320
Speaker 1: and then you got to figure half of that probably

1025
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 1: for tax's two hundred mil. I could live on simple interest.

1026
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,839
Speaker 4: In that and your new tax bracket as well. That's right,

1027
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, right, right, absolutely.

1028
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,880
Speaker 2: Plus we'd be best friends because I can love some

1029
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 2: of your money too.

1030
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 1: You know, I'm here to help, all right, coming back.

1031
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 2: We got two men, two women in the studio, so

1032
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 2: obviously we're gonna have fun with Battle of the Sexes.

1033
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,879
Speaker 2: We got some pretty interesting questions for the guys here,

1034
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 2: and Lisa and I are could have hey, and you

1035
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 2: guys come up with your own questions.

1036
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,800
Speaker 1: By the way, we'll be back with that. Plus news

1037
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 1: and weather. Did it stop snowing? Are we good? It's cold?

1038
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 2: It is very cold and it's going to be freezing

1039
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:48,360
Speaker 2: from Bengals and Ravens Tomorrow one o'clock kickoff, Dona d

1040
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 2: with Sterling, seven hundred WLW, Cincinnati, snowy cold Saturday Night,

1041
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 2: Donna de along with Sterling. We've got my buddy, my

1042
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 2: riding for over thirty years talking about retirement and throwing

1043
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,800
Speaker 2: all this knowledge in us Lisa Reichert and retired police

1044
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 2: officer Nate Young. So it's been the real deal talk

1045
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 2: about retirement.

1046
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 1: But we're going to lighten things up a little bit.

1047
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 2: I noticed as we were talking earlier, we've got two

1048
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: men and two women in the studio, and I think

1049
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 2: it would be a fun time to be extremely honest

1050
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 2: and talk about some of the burning questions we all

1051
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:28,439
Speaker 2: have for each other.

1052
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: This is the circle of trust. It's a safe space. Nope,

1053
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 1: it's just like going to couple's therapy. There was nothing

1054
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,399
Speaker 1: good when they asked you to appear. That's right. This

1055
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: is gonna be the best five once. This is absolutely

1056
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 1: that's correct.

1057
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 2: Seven thousand Collin ask a burning question, ladies. The guys

1058
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 2: are going to be very honest. They promised me right

1059
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 2: before we got on air that they're going to be real,

1060
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 2: honest men, Lisa and I are going to keep it

1061
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. So I'm going to start the conversation

1062
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 2: and five one, three, sevemore nine hundred the big one.

1063
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 1: If you have any questions, you want to call in with.

1064
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:09,359
Speaker 2: So first question, and I'm going to keep it real

1065
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,280
Speaker 2: easy for the first couple of questions.

1066
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,399
Speaker 1: Right, who pays for the first date?

1067
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 3: I got this one, Okay. I would normally say, whoever asks.

1068
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 1: Ask for the date, but keep it a hundred.

1069
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 3: I will definitely have an opinion if the man doesn't offer,

1070
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 3: even if I was the one that asks. If he

1071
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 3: isn't offering, he might just move down some notches on

1072
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 3: my hand on my list.

1073
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he doesn't pay for the first date, he's

1074
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 2: not getting a second one.

1075
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 1: To be honest, now, I always want to try to pay,

1076
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 1: and it's I always. I don't know if it was.

1077
00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: I was raised to not be a chauvinist, but all

1078
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: the stuff my mother drilled into me that is now

1079
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 1: a part of my DNA makes me somewhat of a

1080
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: sexist or a chauvinist. I want to pay. I want

1081
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,880
Speaker 1: to hold the door, I want to make sure stuff's handled,

1082
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: and I want to make sure that she is happy

1083
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,760
Speaker 1: in what's going on all the time and so forth.

1084
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: And it turns out you want to pay, Lisa. But

1085
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,760
Speaker 1: then if I don't ask, I'm somehow less than because

1086
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 1: I should at least make an effort all all my questions.

1087
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 1: I gotta reach for the bill, boy, I can't quite reach.

1088
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 1: That's tough, Nate. So you said there's no winning here, Nate.

1089
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 1: Who pays on the first date? Is there a manual

1090
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:29,879
Speaker 1: that we can buy?

1091
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 2: We're creating it right now, boy, we're creating it right Gays,

1092
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,439
Speaker 2: And that was an easy one. Who asks someone out

1093
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 2: on a date? Now this is not. This is a

1094
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 2: little bit more complicated because since the me too movement,

1095
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 2: which was a necessary movement, but there was an over

1096
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,879
Speaker 2: correction and men don't know what to do with women anymore, right,

1097
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 2: so they don't know if they should go up and

1098
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 2: and and ask them out. Is it going to be

1099
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 2: creepy or women not going to be But Lisa, you

1100
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 2: and I both know we like the man to ask

1101
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 2: a woman out on a date.

1102
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 3: YEA love to be approached. I would much rather have

1103
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 3: a man approach me. And I mean, you can show

1104
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 3: you know, some interest, So that they have the confidence

1105
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 3: to do the asking. I mean, you can lead them

1106
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 3: down the path if they don't bite.

1107
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 2: At that point, if a guy comes up to you,

1108
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 2: and let's just say we were a call back earlier

1109
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 2: to the show. We had Kars from The Bell and

1110
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 2: the Bear. We're at the Bell and the Bear and

1111
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 2: we're having a couple of drinks, well and bloody Mary,

1112
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 2: and a guy comes up to you and says, you know,

1113
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 2: I've I've looked at you across the room and I

1114
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 2: think you're really pretty.

1115
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: Can I can we hang out? Yeah?

1116
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 3: No, that's it, that's what I think, what we're all

1117
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 3: looking for. Yeah, I think you're right. We've over corrected

1118
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 3: and now we need to reel it back in.

1119
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 4: And if that offends her, then that's the only red

1120
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 4: flag I need to get the heck out of it.

1121
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 1: That's exactly. I don't think anybody's going to be I

1122
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 1: think you're attractive.

1123
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 4: I'd like to see if we could go out on

1124
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 4: a date. And that's some sort of problem to say that.

1125
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 4: That's all I need to do.

1126
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:14,400
Speaker 1: We want it now.

1127
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 2: If he's not somebody that I find, you know, physically

1128
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 2: appealing or something like that, then I.

1129
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:28,439
Speaker 1: Might say thanks for the drink, sucker, I'm sorry.

1130
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 2: No, you would say, you would say, yeah, come have

1131
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 2: a drink and hang out with us anyway. What's the

1132
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 2: worst thing that you would say is like, no, thank you.

1133
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 2: That was so nice of the compliment and the way

1134
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 2: that you came over, and but you know, thanks, but no,

1135
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 2: you know, no thanks sometimes and you got to get

1136
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 2: thick skinned.

1137
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 1: You know what's troubling here is that you preface this

1138
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: with in the me too movement thing that asking a

1139
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,360
Speaker 1: woman out or showing interest puts you in the me

1140
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 1: too mode or area. And I thought it was you know,

1141
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 1: groping and station an uninvited physical engagement or biration or

1142
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 1: something that was more of a sexual undertone and conversation

1143
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 1: rather than hey, you want to go get a drink

1144
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: or grab a bike to eat? And that what you

1145
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 1: just said in the midst of that makes it even

1146
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 1: more troubling for a single guy to in that and

1147
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 1: to wade into those waters, which leads to the other

1148
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: question of not just to who ask who out, but

1149
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: and picking up the check and everything. If I ask

1150
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 1: you out, I'm going to pay unless you want to

1151
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 1: fight me for it or something ridiculous I'm gonna probably

1152
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 1: try to sneak and pay on the other side. But

1153
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 1: let me ask this about the dating thing. If you're

1154
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship, married or cohabitating, I've lived in

1155
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 1: a couple of times longer than some of my friends

1156
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 1: have been married once or twice three times. In that situation,

1157
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 1: no judgment that they like to judge the guy who

1158
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 1: hasn't actually but got the ring. If you're together and

1159
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 1: she wants to pay or you know, oh, i'll get

1160
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 1: it tonight or you get it to whatever, then I

1161
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 1: don't see anything necessarily wrong with that. But I still

1162
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not necessarily pulling my weight. Ooh, and

1163
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 1: that an ingrained guy thing again, I.

1164
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 2: Think, Okay, so the guy doesn't have to pay every

1165
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 2: single time, that is.

1166
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,399
Speaker 1: Absolutely not but they'll hold it against you at least

1167
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 1: have sort of had that thing.

1168
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 2: No, no, no, the first couple I think is very cool,

1169
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 2: even if it's just the first date, right, But but no,

1170
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 2: I have every intention.

1171
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 1: It's fairness after that. Yeah, fairness after a degree.

1172
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 2: I mean, it's nice if the guy is successful and

1173
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 2: says no, no, no, you're not you're not paying. That's nice,

1174
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 2: But it's not necessary at all. Would you agree with that? Absolutely?

1175
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 2: I think going forward you can. It also depends on

1176
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 2: where you're going and what you're doing too, And so

1177
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 2: we talked about splitting earlier, and if you want to,

1178
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 2: you know, it might make sense to split a meal

1179
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 2: or split.

1180
00:56:57,040 --> 00:57:01,399
Speaker 1: The gain listeners at home, please mait.

1181
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 5: I don't know if that was on air. Tell that

1182
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,719
Speaker 5: story if you. Oh lord, I think it was off.

1183
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 5: It's strong. You got to you gotta share.

1184
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 4: So I'm not getting out of this night without getting

1185
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 4: in trouble. Some of you had to have known that

1186
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 4: before you agreed to come in here, all right, Yeah?

1187
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 1: No.

1188
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 4: Just recently, my beloved reminded me that on our first

1189
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 4: date at the Silver Spring House, I asked her if

1190
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 4: she would like to split a meal.

1191
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: And she still brings that up.

1192
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 4: And I didn't do that for any other reason that

1193
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 4: I didn't want to be full.

1194
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 1: For that night on my first date with this beautiful lady.

1195
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 4: I just kind of wanted a nice light meal so

1196
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 4: we could have some drinks and engage in conversation or

1197
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 4: whatever else. And she never lets me live that down

1198
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 4: that I asked her she wanted to split a meal.

1199
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: Now that it's been wetted bliss for a minute or two. Yeah, right,

1200
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 1: but why do we see if that did buy that, well, I.

1201
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 4: Might have said a few things that were probably poking

1202
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 4: her a little bit.

1203
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:53,840
Speaker 1: You know, we won't go into that, but you see

1204
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 1: that the way you solved that though, how about some appetizers, right,

1205
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 1: and then you just ordered a table full of little

1206
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 1: stuff and then you eat what you want. You know, Yeah,

1207
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: that's perfectly fine. We had a great night, by the way.

1208
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So who are better communicators?

1209
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: Men or women? First of all, say, my friend Stephanie's

1210
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 1: having a party tonight and I'm here because of the

1211
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,560
Speaker 1: weather and hanging out with you guys. So Hi, Stephanie,

1212
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 1: I know she's listening. Secondly, what was the question? What

1213
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: was it? Yes, communication, dosten. Listening is important. There's one. Two.

1214
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. What why is it that a woman

1215
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 1: will say what's wrong? And I say nothing, and then

1216
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: they continue to want to ask you even though I

1217
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: say everything's fine, even whether I'm being introspective or I'm

1218
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 1: just quiet or something like that. Why can't know nothing's

1219
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:44,440
Speaker 1: wrong be enough? Because no means no. Another circumstances, I'm

1220
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: supposed to ride with that I got this one.

1221
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 2: I think you're now, Yeah, he is, because he doesn't

1222
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,000
Speaker 2: understand what I mean.

1223
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 1: No, No, I understand what no means. But I mean,

1224
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 1: if everything's fine.

1225
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 2: I think that when there's a shift in energy and

1226
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 2: a woman feels that they they want to say, hey,

1227
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 2: what's up.

1228
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 1: I can tell something's going on.

1229
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 2: And if you say nothing's going on and she says,

1230
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:06,920
Speaker 2: I feel like it's.

1231
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 1: Her, she's transferring it. She's got the problem. Right, Oh, boys, Sterling,

1232
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: am I getting in trouble again? I'm gonna see that.

1233
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 1: There's a reason that I can't I can't do right.

1234
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: It's it's always that.

1235
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 4: Well, guys say what they mean, right girls speaking code.

1236
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: Yes, it's true. I mean I said exactly what I

1237
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 1: meant when I said there's there's no levels of what

1238
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 1: it is what I said it was, And that's universal.

1239
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:36,960
Speaker 1: I've talked to guys when I lived in work field.

1240
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 1: That's right, from all over, different cultures, different thing. It

1241
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: is a very common thing when they just leave my

1242
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 1: pillow and blanket in the work it out. We open

1243
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 1: Pandora's box here.

1244
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 3: I probably am one of the many women that do

1245
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 3: listen when you say that it's nothing and believe it,

1246
00:59:56,240 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 3: because sometimes I wonder if there's anything going on in there.

1247
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 1: You mean, well, there's it's nothing. They really they are

1248
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 1: telling the truth. That's true. I don't take that.

1249
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 2: We're pretty simple. So, Nate Warmed, I have a question.

1250
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 2: Do you not think hang on, that's a double name.

1251
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 2: Do you think women don't mean what they say and

1252
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:27,840
Speaker 2: say what they mean?

1253
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 1: We speak? What kind of code is? Are you not

1254
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 1: listening to Nate?

1255
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 2: Just now?

1256
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 1: I said, like, I want to see how deep this goes.

1257
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:37,440
Speaker 1: I'm getting into it because he's trying to bury me

1258
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 1: in one and you got the whole. I'm serious.

1259
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 2: That is an interesting answer, and I know a lot

1260
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 2: that you should have seen Sterling jumping out of his

1261
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 2: seat over here trying to agree with you.

1262
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 1: Couldn't agree with you more on that.

1263
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 2: I want to know, do you think, really, you know,

1264
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 2: we talking code, nothing's wrong, But then there's this, then

1265
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 2: there's that, and.

1266
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: Guys do that as well. Well, let's be honest. I

1267
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: just think women are complicated people. That's why we love them.

1268
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and there's a lot to Yeah, there's just we

1269
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 4: gotta we're not the same, We're not wired the same.

1270
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,360
Speaker 4: I'm just that's how I feel. Women and men are

1271
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:17,280
Speaker 4: not wired the same. We think we react in different

1272
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 4: situations in different ways. We talked about the police officer

1273
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 4: thing with the woman police officer present versus the man present.

1274
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 4: So think women and men are different and that's a

1275
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 4: good thing, right.

1276
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, women, men can be more I'll give you this.

1277
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 2: Men can be more calm in situations when women can

1278
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: get a little bit emotional.

1279
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 1: I think I don't even know if emotional is a

1280
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just listening. There was something in my teeth.

1281
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, us all right?

1282
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 2: Who avoids conflict but remembers everything and holds resentment?

1283
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: Every woman I've known, Oh I'm in trouble now? Is that?

1284
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:02,240
Speaker 1: I don't know? Are you talking about splitting the meal

1285
01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: again on the first date? Right because she holds on

1286
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: to it? Indeed, Hey, I have a question, but that's okay.

1287
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:14,040
Speaker 1: Are you able to maintain a relationship that can be

1288
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:17,080
Speaker 1: more than just friends and add the sexual end of

1289
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 1: it in there without becoming complicated and either failing or

1290
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:23,520
Speaker 1: maybe going all the way, Like maybe you have a

1291
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 1: friend that you've had a friend for a long time

1292
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 1: and then it's like, hey, you know how come we

1293
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: have an ever I've always want you know you want to?

1294
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 1: And then I kind of go, I don't want to

1295
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 1: ruin this the way I've ruined every other thing I've

1296
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 1: been a party two. Yeah, And so the question is

1297
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 1: how does she deal with that? Or how how does

1298
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 1: the guy deal with that? I mean on the other

1299
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 1: side of it, Like if a woman approaches you say, hey,

1300
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 1: we've been friends, but you know you want to you

1301
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:43,120
Speaker 1: want to do something else. We can just keep it

1302
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: as friends. Do you think it's possible to keep it

1303
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:46,919
Speaker 1: just as friends and have that other side thing without

1304
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 1: it becoming more? I do.

1305
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 5: I think you can just have it be said. I

1306
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:55,840
Speaker 5: can't speak to this, you're married. Thanks for help, I'm

1307
01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 5: there on an island here, like I.

1308
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 1: Mean, on one hands, it sounds like a dream, right,

1309
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 1: like a woman comes to you or a guy depending

1310
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:05,160
Speaker 1: and says, hey, listen, we have a great friendship. Could

1311
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:07,960
Speaker 1: we have this other thing there? But can we keep

1312
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:10,640
Speaker 1: the friendship and also have it just be that? Or

1313
01:03:10,680 --> 01:03:13,960
Speaker 1: is that an impossibility that wouldn't work for me?

1314
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:14,439
Speaker 2: See?

1315
01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 1: I don't think see, And that's my fear. It always

1316
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 1: ends up somebody once more, no matter what they say,

1317
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 1: and then that puts you in a precarious position because

1318
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 1: they will lie to themselves, if not, then to you

1319
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 1: trying to muster through it.

1320
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:28,960
Speaker 2: Well, I think the side is that you could be

1321
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 2: missing out on like this amazing relationship because you it

1322
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:35,680
Speaker 2: starts out as friends, right, you would agree you got

1323
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 2: to be.

1324
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 1: Friends and and and and it.

1325
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:42,560
Speaker 2: Ends with a big, deep friendship when you're in a relationship.

1326
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 2: So you know, I would say, go for that and

1327
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 2: let the chips fall where they.

1328
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,720
Speaker 4: Speak in generalities. Problem, but I'm hearing what you're laying

1329
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 4: down there.

1330
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:54,080
Speaker 1: You go, I got your.

1331
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 3: You's got interested in taking the relationship further that way.

1332
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:02,959
Speaker 1: He just wants to have the Well, I'm I think

1333
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 1: often mixing them can ruin a good thing sometimes on

1334
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,160
Speaker 1: either side of it. I'm Harry Sally.

1335
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 2: By the way, Yes, there's been movies like I mean,

1336
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 2: like he's written this long thing like I.

1337
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:18,240
Speaker 1: Can think of twenty movies about this and how that

1338
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:19,440
Speaker 1: friends with friends.

1339
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,560
Speaker 2: Well, when Harry Metcelli, they ended up no spoiler alert.

1340
01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:26,040
Speaker 1: If you haven't seen this scene was primo.

1341
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean, you know they ended up married

1342
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 2: and they were happy.

1343
01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:34,280
Speaker 1: Did they write a sequel? I think they are they

1344
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 1: doing there? You go, I don't know. I'll speaking for

1345
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,640
Speaker 1: other guys. Sometimes that happens, they're I mean, mostly it's

1346
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:44,880
Speaker 1: guys who want that special thing, right, that's like that

1347
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,000
Speaker 1: type of friendship, rather than women wanting it? Or do

1348
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: more women want that in certain time and place? Is

1349
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 1: everything right situational? I just know that a lot of

1350
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:56,919
Speaker 1: guys will ruin it because somebody becomes more invested. I may,

1351
01:04:57,200 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm shutting up. This is sling. It's

1352
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 1: become Sirling's personal. You wanted questions? I came up with questions.

1353
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,720
Speaker 1: We have a doctor calling, Lord knows, we get to

1354
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,400
Speaker 1: come in, but it was snowing. Did you have a question?

1355
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 5: Lee?

1356
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:16,520
Speaker 3: Questions are like much more simple, like okay, I'm going

1357
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 3: to go with the first one though, because this will

1358
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 3: make you think a little bit.

1359
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:20,920
Speaker 1: And this just happened to me.

1360
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:27,560
Speaker 3: So how important is it that the person have a

1361
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 3: lot of confidence, the person that you're dating or the

1362
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 3: person you're in a relationship with. How big does confidence

1363
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:38,720
Speaker 3: rank on the scale? Anyone care to answer that in themselves?

1364
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:43,760
Speaker 1: Nate, Well, oh huh, I think it's important.

1365
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:48,560
Speaker 4: I find I find confidence a very attractive confident lady

1366
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 4: that you know, cares herself in that manner, that's just awesome.

1367
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 4: I would hope that that would be the same for

1368
01:05:56,680 --> 01:05:59,680
Speaker 4: a female looking at a man. But I see in

1369
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:03,320
Speaker 4: some of the younger kids today that that is an

1370
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 4: off pudding to the females to have a guy that's

1371
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 4: confident and in himself, And I just wonder if that's.

1372
01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:14,919
Speaker 1: I mean, that's something they have to deal with.

1373
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:19,560
Speaker 4: Just times are different now, and I think this bravado,

1374
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:21,920
Speaker 4: the guy that can chop the wood and wear the

1375
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,360
Speaker 4: flannel and grow a beard, is kind of off putting

1376
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 4: out that means confidence. But I'm making a trying to

1377
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,600
Speaker 4: draw a mental picture here.

1378
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:34,280
Speaker 1: Because you have a beard and he's going to go out.

1379
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:41,760
Speaker 1: I got that. I had a delivery. Nate, you're a

1380
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:42,959
Speaker 1: very manly.

1381
01:06:43,640 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 4: I just feel like some of the things that I

1382
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 4: hear and see through our children and their friends that

1383
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 4: sometimes that confidence is off putting, yeah, and arrogant, sonogynistic,

1384
01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 4: throws all these.

1385
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:01,120
Speaker 1: I think the trick is finding that balance, because you

1386
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:03,880
Speaker 1: can be confident without being overbear stop opening a door

1387
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 1: or walking on the side. I've had women yell at

1388
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,840
Speaker 1: me like going to like a store where you else

1389
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 1: open the door. I'll step back and please after you.

1390
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: And they look at me like I'm a puppet of Satan.

1391
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:17,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, my mom twitches if I don't hold

1392
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 1: the door or let you do.

1393
01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 4: I mean, there's landmines in developing a relationship with any anyone. Yeah, today,

1394
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 4: I just feel like it's just exponentially it should be easy.

1395
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:27,360
Speaker 5: You know.

1396
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 3: I have to tell you why I asked this question.

1397
01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:33,880
Speaker 3: I actually went on a date last week. Everybody clapped

1398
01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 3: because it's been a while.

1399
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,400
Speaker 1: Did you gods? Okay?

1400
01:07:40,440 --> 01:07:43,600
Speaker 3: Before we went on the date, he sent a text

1401
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 3: that was confident, I would say, and I said, I

1402
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:49,720
Speaker 3: like the confidence. When we actually met, he said, is

1403
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:52,920
Speaker 3: that a deal breaker for you? Confidence in someone? Because

1404
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:56,680
Speaker 3: I'm not a very confident person. I mean it, it

1405
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:59,320
Speaker 3: made me want to pretty much wrap things up right there.

1406
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:04,120
Speaker 1: For him to own that though, yeah, well, don't even

1407
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:05,480
Speaker 1: know it. That's it.

1408
01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:08,800
Speaker 2: You can't even tell me that. I gotta listen out.

1409
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 2: There's there's a couple other things I want to add.

1410
01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 2: We're going to continue this conversation when we come back.

1411
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:17,680
Speaker 2: I believe it is stopped snowing. It's a winter wonderland.

1412
01:08:17,920 --> 01:08:19,720
Speaker 2: I don't even know what we're gonna get when we

1413
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:22,880
Speaker 2: go outside. You guys have been here for six hours,

1414
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 2: so coming back, we're going to continue more of these

1415
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:29,000
Speaker 2: burning questions. Feel free to call in five one, three, seven,

1416
01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:32,480
Speaker 2: four nine seven eight hundred The Big One. It's Donnade

1417
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:36,519
Speaker 2: along with Sterling, Lisa and Nate on this beautiful Saturday

1418
01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:37,560
Speaker 2: night in Cincinnati.

1419
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,360
Speaker 1: Seven hundred WLW.

1420
01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:49,800
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, gracious, we're having too much fun in

1421
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:50,360
Speaker 2: the studio.

1422
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:53,479
Speaker 1: Donna d along with Sterling.

1423
01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:56,120
Speaker 2: We got my buddy Lisa Reichert in the studio as

1424
01:08:56,120 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 2: well as retired police officer Nate Young. We've been talking

1425
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:01,600
Speaker 2: about retirement all I have a little fun on the

1426
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:05,080
Speaker 2: last segment. I wanted to keep it going asking the

1427
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:08,240
Speaker 2: burning questions. Men, whatever you want to know. Lisa and

1428
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 2: I are here. Lisa and I want to ask a

1429
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 2: few questions as well. We're gonna be super honest in

1430
01:09:13,479 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 2: the studio of something you want to ask. Five one, three, seven,

1431
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:19,280
Speaker 2: four ninety seven thousand, one eight hundred The Big One. Now,

1432
01:09:19,360 --> 01:09:24,040
Speaker 2: before the break, Lisa, you talked about the importance of confidence.

1433
01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 2: Is it attractive or maybe it's off putting. I think

1434
01:09:28,360 --> 01:09:30,479
Speaker 2: it's attractive. I didn't get a chance to answer this,

1435
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:34,360
Speaker 2: but I wanted to because the thing about confidence is,

1436
01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:37,840
Speaker 2: and I'll speak for myself, I am my biggest cheerleader.

1437
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:41,800
Speaker 2: I am somebody that's like constantly self talk. You got this,

1438
01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:44,800
Speaker 2: you're gonna kill it, You're gonna do all these things.

1439
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:51,120
Speaker 2: But that can translate sometimes on occasion into ego or

1440
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:55,040
Speaker 2: bravado or arrogance or something like that. Now, I don't

1441
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:59,960
Speaker 2: find arrogance attractive confidences and sometimes there's a fine law.

1442
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:03,720
Speaker 1: Do you agree with me, Sterling? Yeah, I mean you

1443
01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:07,920
Speaker 1: can go overboard. Not you personally, but people can in

1444
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:09,000
Speaker 1: a situation like that.

1445
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:11,080
Speaker 2: You mean when I say we killed it on that

1446
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:13,320
Speaker 2: break and I was really good.

1447
01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:17,200
Speaker 1: Well, I don't like anything I do, so you know

1448
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:22,479
Speaker 1: that's I've learned to appreciate what works or I'm told works,

1449
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:24,920
Speaker 1: and I can enjoy like this is a good, needy,

1450
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:30,880
Speaker 1: multiple layer like conversation. Right, This is compelling. That's all

1451
01:10:30,920 --> 01:10:34,880
Speaker 1: this is is trying you're wanting to This is human behavior,

1452
01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:38,360
Speaker 1: this is life. This is people's stuff. There's nothing more important.

1453
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,880
Speaker 1: And that's what really what this radio station is built on.

1454
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:43,000
Speaker 1: I mean, you're talking about social media. This is the

1455
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:46,479
Speaker 1: very first social media meteor that there was, and it

1456
01:10:46,479 --> 01:10:49,120
Speaker 1: continues to be the case. It helps I could talk English.

1457
01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:53,280
Speaker 2: It is interesting because the who avoids conflict but remembers

1458
01:10:53,320 --> 01:10:57,080
Speaker 2: everything and holds resentment that I saw as men, and

1459
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:58,920
Speaker 2: so does Lisa and you guys.

1460
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:04,720
Speaker 1: Most send me was women. I guess everybody does. I

1461
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 1: will give you that.

1462
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 3: I have to throw that your way, Sterling, Yeah, because

1463
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:11,480
Speaker 3: I've done it myself.

1464
01:11:11,920 --> 01:11:14,799
Speaker 2: Well, we've all done it. The majority though, is guys

1465
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 2: hold resentment.

1466
01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 1: Sorry, do we Well, you look at me like do I?

1467
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:22,960
Speaker 1: I don't think I do. Probably she's looking at me.

1468
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:25,519
Speaker 1: Do you agree?

1469
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:28,800
Speaker 2: Because that is one thing guys do. They don't open

1470
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 2: up because men don't talk to men this way. And

1471
01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:37,400
Speaker 2: I'm actually very proud of you too, because you're kind

1472
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:41,400
Speaker 2: of connecting on another You're bonding on another level like women.

1473
01:11:41,439 --> 01:11:45,519
Speaker 2: Normally we're talking about the hardest stuff and you guys

1474
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:48,599
Speaker 2: are open to doing it. But I think sometimes you

1475
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:51,360
Speaker 2: close up because you don't want to bother anybody, and

1476
01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:53,120
Speaker 2: then later on you hold resentment.

1477
01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:58,759
Speaker 1: Do you agree? Yes, thank you, Nate. I do I agree,

1478
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,960
Speaker 1: But I'll say this. You know why. There may be fear,

1479
01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:04,080
Speaker 1: interrepidation or reluctance of a lot of guys to do

1480
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:06,200
Speaker 1: this is you want us to open up, and then

1481
01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:08,760
Speaker 1: when we do open up, you look at us as

1482
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:13,599
Speaker 1: somehow being weak or too emotional, and then somehow that's

1483
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:15,920
Speaker 1: a negative. After initially you were like, please please tell me,

1484
01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:17,559
Speaker 1: what are you really thinking? How do you really feel

1485
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:20,559
Speaker 1: about this? Yeah, and I've seen it, I've witnessed it,

1486
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:22,920
Speaker 1: I've lived it, and but I've talked to other guys,

1487
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:24,760
Speaker 1: you know, over beers or whatever. It's like, man, I

1488
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:26,680
Speaker 1: did exactly what she said. She just said the other thing.

1489
01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:28,320
Speaker 1: And usually a lot of us guys will just drink

1490
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,040
Speaker 1: beers and be quiet and we're happy as I'll get

1491
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:33,840
Speaker 1: out anyway, I don't have to say anything. It's us

1492
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:37,599
Speaker 1: women that are complicated. Yeah, it got your number. Yes,

1493
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:39,320
Speaker 1: I know. I am very simple.

1494
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:44,080
Speaker 3: Change that word from complicated to multi faceting.

1495
01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:48,280
Speaker 1: Yes you are. I didn't mean that in a complication.

1496
01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:53,000
Speaker 1: I mean being complicated is not multiple layer like an

1497
01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:58,080
Speaker 1: without an owner's manual. Yes, Nate, you had a question

1498
01:12:58,400 --> 01:12:59,080
Speaker 1: for the ladies.

1499
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:01,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, well this is a recovery question. I hoped at

1500
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:04,439
Speaker 4: my home front simmers down a little bit out there.

1501
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:07,240
Speaker 1: Do women like wool.

1502
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:12,799
Speaker 4: Convertible leopard print moccasin style slip on shoes in size seven.

1503
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:18,200
Speaker 4: I could just get a response from for that police.

1504
01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:21,680
Speaker 4: I would hold my home front a little bit.

1505
01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:24,960
Speaker 1: I would like this. I think there's nothing wrong with.

1506
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:30,520
Speaker 3: Nice move moccasin girl. I love moccasins.

1507
01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:34,160
Speaker 1: I am up all right. Oh my god.

1508
01:13:34,439 --> 01:13:37,040
Speaker 2: I actually went out on a date with a guy

1509
01:13:37,720 --> 01:13:40,720
Speaker 2: and I couldn't believe he said this to me. It

1510
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:44,080
Speaker 2: was the weirdest thing ever. We were we were just

1511
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:48,240
Speaker 2: having a random conversation and uh, he said to me, oh,

1512
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,840
Speaker 2: I have the worst luck in the world. And I

1513
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:54,760
Speaker 2: was like, what he said, I'm just unlucky. I know

1514
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:57,599
Speaker 2: everything bad happens to me. I'm like, I'm really glad

1515
01:13:57,640 --> 01:14:00,160
Speaker 2: you told me that, because I don't want to at

1516
01:14:00,160 --> 01:14:04,080
Speaker 2: any time with somebody who so has so much bad luck.

1517
01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:08,280
Speaker 2: Who in the world would ever want to spend some

1518
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:11,160
Speaker 2: time with somebody that says they were mister unlucky.

1519
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:14,880
Speaker 1: That's a weird thing. We all have stretches, but yeah,

1520
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:18,840
Speaker 1: some stuff you keep to yourself. Well, that's one of them.

1521
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:21,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I share too much here, so you know,

1522
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:24,240
Speaker 1: it's sort of likely the critical for me to say that,

1523
01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:24,880
Speaker 1: But it's true.

1524
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:27,599
Speaker 4: I believe in the vibration thing. If you put out

1525
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:30,559
Speaker 4: those vibrations exactly, those are the vibrations that come back

1526
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,960
Speaker 4: to you. And I'm not a master of that. That's

1527
01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:35,639
Speaker 4: a new thing for me over the past eight seventy

1528
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:38,360
Speaker 4: eight nine years. I believe in that the vibrations you

1529
01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:40,599
Speaker 4: put out are the vibrations you get back.

1530
01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:43,800
Speaker 2: Match energy in the US, what you put out, you

1531
01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:47,639
Speaker 2: get back. That's just what happens. If you and and Nate.

1532
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:49,559
Speaker 2: That's so great that you talked about it, because that's

1533
01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:51,479
Speaker 2: what exactly what I was talking about. How in the

1534
01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:53,599
Speaker 2: world do I want to be around somebody so unlucky?

1535
01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:57,880
Speaker 2: But if you don't feel loved in your life, that's

1536
01:14:57,880 --> 01:14:59,760
Speaker 2: what you need to give. You need to give love.

1537
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:04,479
Speaker 2: If you don't feel like safe, then that's you need

1538
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:07,120
Speaker 2: to give some security to other people and let them

1539
01:15:07,120 --> 01:15:08,040
Speaker 2: know they're safe around.

1540
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:10,639
Speaker 1: Whatever you're missing in life, that's what you have to give.

1541
01:15:11,560 --> 01:15:14,639
Speaker 3: That's why it's not luck, right. I don't I don't

1542
01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:17,760
Speaker 3: believe that somebody can be that unlucky. Things are going

1543
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,639
Speaker 3: to happen to all of us. But it's a that's

1544
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:24,479
Speaker 3: AH tells you a lot about how somebody thinks and

1545
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 3: how they approach their life. If they're thinking, oh I'm

1546
01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:32,519
Speaker 3: so unlucky, poor me, boohoo, you know, I just I'm

1547
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:37,280
Speaker 3: not buying it. You can create whether it's you're you're

1548
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:40,080
Speaker 3: choosing to put the right energy out there, you can

1549
01:15:40,080 --> 01:15:42,920
Speaker 3: also create your your destiny.

1550
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:45,080
Speaker 1: And it's how you look at the things that are happening.

1551
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:46,800
Speaker 1: You focus on the make you learn from it.

1552
01:15:46,920 --> 01:15:49,519
Speaker 3: Do you grow from it or do you walk around

1553
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:53,960
Speaker 3: like schlibrock you know, yeah, just.

1554
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:56,400
Speaker 1: On work and forward always. You just have to keep

1555
01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:59,320
Speaker 1: going and you compartmentalize and that I've been told as

1556
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:03,280
Speaker 1: a guy thing in the way we just compartmentalize certain things,

1557
01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:05,519
Speaker 1: which was what I alluded to earlier. And it was

1558
01:16:05,560 --> 01:16:08,479
Speaker 1: all jokes, by the way, just jokes people. But that

1559
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:13,479
Speaker 1: being said, though you do tend to get what you

1560
01:16:13,520 --> 01:16:17,360
Speaker 1: put out there oftentimes. But being forward thinking and positive

1561
01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:19,080
Speaker 1: and in the way you carry yourself. I mean, if

1562
01:16:19,120 --> 01:16:20,960
Speaker 1: you carry yourself like a schlump in your or whatever,

1563
01:16:21,560 --> 01:16:23,639
Speaker 1: then you show up with your waffle shirt and hanging

1564
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:25,479
Speaker 1: out on a date, you know, and you know, I

1565
01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:27,439
Speaker 1: don't really drink, but I'm gonna drink off with you

1566
01:16:27,560 --> 01:16:29,080
Speaker 1: or whatever. I haven't drunk it a long time, but

1567
01:16:29,160 --> 01:16:32,000
Speaker 1: things go sideways. Dude, what are you doing? You know,

1568
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:34,120
Speaker 1: Get a hold yourself, be strong, be who you are,

1569
01:16:34,160 --> 01:16:35,800
Speaker 1: and if they don't like you for it's tough, it's

1570
01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:38,160
Speaker 1: their loss. At least that's the way I approach it.

1571
01:16:38,240 --> 01:16:39,120
Speaker 1: At least that's my game.

1572
01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:39,360
Speaker 2: Phase.

1573
01:16:39,479 --> 01:16:41,720
Speaker 1: Then I drive home and drink. I'm just joking. I'm

1574
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:42,479
Speaker 1: just joking, you know what.

1575
01:16:42,560 --> 01:16:45,360
Speaker 2: And I want to ask you guys this question. I'll

1576
01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:49,160
Speaker 2: say this, there's really I watched this video. I watch

1577
01:16:49,160 --> 01:16:51,960
Speaker 2: a lot of podcasts, and I love relationships stuff, and

1578
01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:54,320
Speaker 2: there is one thing that I think is true.

1579
01:16:54,840 --> 01:17:04,880
Speaker 1: Women really want one thing. It really is podcast on

1580
01:17:04,920 --> 01:17:07,960
Speaker 1: this will zero in on the podcast here.

1581
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:10,800
Speaker 2: They want one thing and it's kind of a big thing,

1582
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:14,840
Speaker 2: and it's kind of every day. They want to be adored.

1583
01:17:15,400 --> 01:17:23,040
Speaker 2: They want their man to adore them, and that means loving, respectful,

1584
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:27,000
Speaker 2: looking in your eye and and and knowing, smiling when

1585
01:17:27,040 --> 01:17:29,120
Speaker 2: they're speaking, and having their back.

1586
01:17:29,439 --> 01:17:30,919
Speaker 1: They want to be adored.

1587
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:34,400
Speaker 2: And it does sound like, Nate, you adore your wife

1588
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:37,759
Speaker 2: in the little time that we've been together here tonight.

1589
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,200
Speaker 2: The things that you've said about her and the things

1590
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:44,040
Speaker 2: that you're grateful for and you keep mentioning that, and

1591
01:17:44,080 --> 01:17:47,320
Speaker 2: the way that you speak about her, it does seem

1592
01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:49,280
Speaker 2: like you adore your wife.

1593
01:17:50,479 --> 01:17:58,000
Speaker 1: Yes, I do, She's awesome. Yeah, and I've witnessed it. Lisa,

1594
01:17:58,040 --> 01:18:01,080
Speaker 1: Am I right saying that too, Like if you it

1595
01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:01,559
Speaker 1: would go.

1596
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:04,599
Speaker 2: A long way if you just you know, it's not

1597
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:06,759
Speaker 2: like you have to say, sweetheart, I adore you.

1598
01:18:06,760 --> 01:18:11,960
Speaker 1: You show it with with you know, size seven moccasin

1599
01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:18,920
Speaker 1: convertible exactly a good way to adore her. It's I

1600
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:19,240
Speaker 1: don't know.

1601
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:21,439
Speaker 3: To me, it's not in the sappy way like you

1602
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:23,880
Speaker 3: were talking about, like you don't have to be all

1603
01:18:23,880 --> 01:18:26,559
Speaker 3: over them and say, oh honey, I adore you. It's

1604
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:29,719
Speaker 3: how you show up for them day in and day out,

1605
01:18:29,760 --> 01:18:34,720
Speaker 3: and putting that person first beyond yourself. I think that

1606
01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:38,040
Speaker 3: just says so so much about how you respect that person.

1607
01:18:38,720 --> 01:18:41,120
Speaker 3: And you know, throwing out some compliments every now and

1608
01:18:41,160 --> 01:18:42,120
Speaker 3: then doesn't hurt anything.

1609
01:18:42,439 --> 01:18:46,320
Speaker 2: Laughing at her jokes, getting the inside, mentioning things to

1610
01:18:46,439 --> 01:18:49,519
Speaker 2: her that only you guys know. Is that like an

1611
01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:53,040
Speaker 2: inner you know, that kind of stuff, the playfulness.

1612
01:18:53,160 --> 01:18:53,920
Speaker 1: They like it too.

1613
01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:56,200
Speaker 4: I think, well, I was gonna thing that I for

1614
01:18:57,040 --> 01:19:01,479
Speaker 4: I love that, Yes, I think for me when my

1615
01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:05,600
Speaker 4: wife is confident in me, like I say, we're going

1616
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:09,720
Speaker 4: to try this venture, We're gonna do this, and her

1617
01:19:09,840 --> 01:19:12,479
Speaker 4: reply is I trust you, let's do that. That to

1618
01:19:12,560 --> 01:19:17,519
Speaker 4: me is the ultimate, yep, ultimate thing for me. There's

1619
01:19:17,520 --> 01:19:19,400
Speaker 4: some other things involved as well that are awesome, but.

1620
01:19:19,439 --> 01:19:23,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, but respect or trust and respect.

1621
01:19:23,840 --> 01:19:27,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, just the fact that she has confidence that you know,

1622
01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:30,800
Speaker 4: I've got this, and so that's that's cool.

1623
01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:32,559
Speaker 1: Got that from her tonight before we left.

1624
01:19:32,760 --> 01:19:35,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got this. Yeah, so that was kind of cool.

1625
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:36,640
Speaker 4: And that's that to me is a big that's a

1626
01:19:36,640 --> 01:19:37,000
Speaker 4: big thing.

1627
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,920
Speaker 1: Cerly, do you agree with that? Yeah? Absolutely, I mean

1628
01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:43,200
Speaker 1: that's everything that you'd want right in that situation. You

1629
01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:45,400
Speaker 1: hope that you find a woman or a man, depending

1630
01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:50,120
Speaker 1: on your circumstance. That is that thing that the best

1631
01:19:50,160 --> 01:19:51,840
Speaker 1: things that you want in need and you want to

1632
01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:55,000
Speaker 1: sort of them to complete you in those differences and

1633
01:19:55,240 --> 01:19:57,600
Speaker 1: so forth. Some people may not want someone who is

1634
01:19:57,640 --> 01:19:59,759
Speaker 1: so strong or aggress of whatever. They're going to hopefully

1635
01:19:59,760 --> 01:20:02,360
Speaker 1: find their level or whatever too. But no, I mean

1636
01:20:03,560 --> 01:20:07,240
Speaker 1: you want that that what you just described is ideal.

1637
01:20:07,479 --> 01:20:11,519
Speaker 2: How important are looks at our age? You know, we're

1638
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:15,040
Speaker 2: all in the mid mid fifties, right, but I mean,

1639
01:20:15,120 --> 01:20:19,559
Speaker 2: you know it's we all age hopefully gracefully and things

1640
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:22,160
Speaker 2: like that. When I was younger, looks kind of mattered

1641
01:20:22,160 --> 01:20:24,120
Speaker 2: more than they do now to me. I mean, I

1642
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:27,880
Speaker 2: really feel like, how does this person live their life?

1643
01:20:27,920 --> 01:20:32,000
Speaker 2: And are they kind to people? And are they you know, honest?

1644
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:36,520
Speaker 2: And you know, how long have they worked hard for themselves?

1645
01:20:36,520 --> 01:20:39,639
Speaker 2: I mean, how how have they done with this portion

1646
01:20:39,760 --> 01:20:43,000
Speaker 2: of their life in their mid fifties. That's appealing and

1647
01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:46,840
Speaker 2: attractive to me, right, I mean everyone makes mistakes, people

1648
01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:50,439
Speaker 2: get divorced, people have you know, you know, bad bad

1649
01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:55,080
Speaker 2: you know jobs, and you know kind of everybody exactly.

1650
01:20:55,120 --> 01:20:57,400
Speaker 2: Nobody is ever going to be perfect in that, but

1651
01:20:57,520 --> 01:21:00,640
Speaker 2: how you handle it, how you come back. That's like

1652
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,080
Speaker 2: that's more important to me than looks in these days.

1653
01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:06,559
Speaker 3: Lisa, Yeah, yeah, So actually that was gonna be one

1654
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:09,439
Speaker 3: of my questions, is like, in a in a roundabout way,

1655
01:21:09,640 --> 01:21:11,600
Speaker 3: was like, what do you find is the most attractive

1656
01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:14,200
Speaker 3: quality in someone? And try to leave this on a

1657
01:21:14,240 --> 01:21:16,960
Speaker 3: good note rather than talking about the unlucky guy out

1658
01:21:16,960 --> 01:21:22,000
Speaker 3: there and the guy in the waffle shirt. Yeah, it's

1659
01:21:22,920 --> 01:21:26,360
Speaker 3: it is, I would say, on top.

1660
01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:27,360
Speaker 1: Of what you just mentioned.

1661
01:21:27,720 --> 01:21:30,799
Speaker 3: For me, it's somebody that has a sense of humor,

1662
01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:36,400
Speaker 3: doesn't take themselves too seriously. And everybody, every girl likes

1663
01:21:36,400 --> 01:21:42,400
Speaker 3: somebody that's funny, you know. But I think the way

1664
01:21:42,439 --> 01:21:44,479
Speaker 3: that they show up for you, I keep coming back

1665
01:21:44,479 --> 01:21:46,559
Speaker 3: to that, that's gonna They're gonna have all those other

1666
01:21:46,600 --> 01:21:51,920
Speaker 3: things going for them, so appearance, you know, care about

1667
01:21:51,920 --> 01:21:55,680
Speaker 3: what you look like? Now, yeah, but you know what

1668
01:21:55,760 --> 01:21:58,200
Speaker 3: I've always I've always picked someone that I was just

1669
01:21:58,240 --> 01:22:03,360
Speaker 3: attracted to, Like you couldn't go down the line and say, oh,

1670
01:22:03,400 --> 01:22:04,360
Speaker 3: that's Lisa's guy.

1671
01:22:05,040 --> 01:22:07,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, is you don't have a look?

1672
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:12,720
Speaker 3: No, No, it's there's just an attraction there. And generally

1673
01:22:12,880 --> 01:22:14,599
Speaker 3: there's going to be They are going to be kind,

1674
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:17,280
Speaker 3: they're going to have a sense of humor, they're going

1675
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,439
Speaker 3: to probably have the same kind of drive in life.

1676
01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:24,040
Speaker 3: I want them to have aspirations. I want them to

1677
01:22:24,040 --> 01:22:27,160
Speaker 3: be confident in themselves. And going back to that, I

1678
01:22:27,200 --> 01:22:35,320
Speaker 3: think if someone doesn't like someone that's confident to your point, Nate,

1679
01:22:35,360 --> 01:22:37,600
Speaker 3: and I know this is the younger generation, but to me,

1680
01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:41,519
Speaker 3: it's more a reflection on that person. They don't have

1681
01:22:41,560 --> 01:22:44,800
Speaker 3: the confidence. If you don't like someone that has confidence,

1682
01:22:45,240 --> 01:22:47,080
Speaker 3: then you're probably not a confident person.

1683
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:48,439
Speaker 1: You're lacking something. Yeah.

1684
01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:51,280
Speaker 3: I want to hear someone be able to say something

1685
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:52,480
Speaker 3: nice about themselves.

1686
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:54,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's a big deal.

1687
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:59,880
Speaker 2: Do you guys agree with Lisa that humor is important

1688
01:23:00,160 --> 01:23:02,400
Speaker 2: and to find attractive?

1689
01:23:02,920 --> 01:23:06,439
Speaker 1: Is humor a big thing? I think initially, unless you

1690
01:23:06,479 --> 01:23:09,040
Speaker 1: get to know someone only by speaking to them without

1691
01:23:09,160 --> 01:23:12,240
Speaker 1: seeing them, it's and it may change over time. The

1692
01:23:12,320 --> 01:23:16,240
Speaker 1: first is the visual, the attraction issue, the physical, and

1693
01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:19,040
Speaker 1: then the other stuff. Over time, your opinion of that

1694
01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:22,120
Speaker 1: person may change. They may be drop dead gorgeous, but

1695
01:23:22,160 --> 01:23:26,760
Speaker 1: they're not an attractive personality, or their behaviors make them

1696
01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:29,400
Speaker 1: less than attractive. The other side, you know, they might

1697
01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:33,599
Speaker 1: go not necessarily exactly my wheelhouse, but all these other

1698
01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:36,800
Speaker 1: things that she has going on makes her super attractive,

1699
01:23:36,840 --> 01:23:40,640
Speaker 1: her confidence or humor, her attitude, whatever else it is,

1700
01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:44,200
Speaker 1: busting chops whatever that. You know, you're into her strengths

1701
01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:47,840
Speaker 1: in other ways. It changes over time. What do you

1702
01:23:47,840 --> 01:23:50,080
Speaker 1: say to that. I think you're spot on.

1703
01:23:50,439 --> 01:23:53,440
Speaker 4: I think humor is a big part of my relationship

1704
01:23:53,479 --> 01:23:56,599
Speaker 4: with Jamie, And you know, we we have a very

1705
01:23:56,640 --> 01:24:02,720
Speaker 4: similar demented dark and we like each other laugh while

1706
01:24:02,760 --> 01:24:04,679
Speaker 4: other people are looking at us like, what is wrong.

1707
01:24:06,160 --> 01:24:08,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, Jamie could be making a fool of herself, and

1708
01:24:08,479 --> 01:24:10,960
Speaker 3: He's like, look at her, that's my wife.

1709
01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:15,559
Speaker 1: That's my girl. That's excellent, splits on the dance floor ating,

1710
01:24:15,640 --> 01:24:17,080
Speaker 1: that's my girl times.

1711
01:24:17,439 --> 01:24:21,200
Speaker 2: That is adoration right there, that is that's my girl

1712
01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:23,960
Speaker 2: right there. Everyone else can look at her and think

1713
01:24:24,040 --> 01:24:26,760
Speaker 2: she's silly, and this is what I love about her.

1714
01:24:26,920 --> 01:24:29,200
Speaker 2: That is a great way to ask us what you want. Wow,

1715
01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:31,400
Speaker 2: what a fun night.

1716
01:24:31,640 --> 01:24:32,479
Speaker 1: I am so.

1717
01:24:32,600 --> 01:24:34,640
Speaker 2: Happy that you guys made it in Nate. We're going

1718
01:24:34,720 --> 01:24:37,840
Speaker 2: to have to come come back and dissect some of

1719
01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:39,160
Speaker 2: those crime stories.

1720
01:24:39,160 --> 01:24:41,400
Speaker 1: We were talking about former.

1721
01:24:41,400 --> 01:24:46,240
Speaker 2: And retired Ohio Cincinnati police officer Nate Young. My buddy

1722
01:24:46,280 --> 01:24:49,040
Speaker 2: Lisa of thirty years, thank you for all your insights

1723
01:24:49,400 --> 01:24:50,280
Speaker 2: on retirement.

1724
01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:52,960
Speaker 1: Sterling. We are.

1725
01:24:53,120 --> 01:24:57,000
Speaker 2: We had a conversation with James Rapine. It was really interesting.

1726
01:24:57,040 --> 01:24:59,680
Speaker 2: We're going to play that back, so stick around with me.

1727
01:25:00,200 --> 01:25:03,000
Speaker 2: We're talking Bengals that the big game is tomorrow. You

1728
01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:04,760
Speaker 2: want to make a prediction before we head out of here.

1729
01:25:04,800 --> 01:25:07,320
Speaker 1: It's going to be very cold, going to be very cold.

1730
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:09,920
Speaker 1: I'd like to see Joe Burrow throw it all over

1731
01:25:09,960 --> 01:25:13,000
Speaker 1: the place, and maybe the run game really open it

1732
01:25:13,080 --> 01:25:15,040
Speaker 1: up a little bit. We'll see. The Ravens are always tough,

1733
01:25:15,040 --> 01:25:17,000
Speaker 1: but they're not that great this year either. The AFC

1734
01:25:17,160 --> 01:25:19,519
Speaker 1: North wide open, so even with them now with a

1735
01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:22,320
Speaker 1: little bit of luck, but it's going to be cold.

1736
01:25:22,640 --> 01:25:24,840
Speaker 2: It's going to be cold, and Bengals are going to win.

1737
01:25:24,920 --> 01:25:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to say it right there.

1738
01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:29,240
Speaker 1: James repene locked on Bengals Cincinnati Bengals Talk on YouTube,

1739
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:31,280
Speaker 1: joining us from a conversation earlier.

1740
01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:34,400
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, Thank you guys so much. We're

1741
01:25:34,439 --> 01:25:37,519
Speaker 2: coming back again. James Rapine on the Bengals and the

1742
01:25:37,640 --> 01:25:41,000
Speaker 2: Ravens tomorrow, one o'clock kickoff at Paycourt. It's done a

1743
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:43,840
Speaker 2: D seven hundred WLW Cincinnati