WEBVTT - Elise Told Trevor ‘Let’s Do This Again’… Then Ghosted

0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.759
<v Speaker 1>It's Marcus in the morning and we've got second date update.

0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:05.320
<v Speaker 1>It's that time brought to you by Flavors of the Peninsula,

0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:07.920
<v Speaker 1>going April twenty third through May second. Perfect for a

0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:10.200
<v Speaker 1>first date, or a date night, or a solo date.

0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.119
<v Speaker 1>Curated menu, special pricing. Make your reservation at the San

0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:15.840
<v Speaker 1>Francisco Peninsula dot com. Let's get Trevor on the phone.

0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Trevor, you there, Hey, Marcus, Yeah, I'm here.

0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.079
<v Speaker 1>Hey man, good morning. Let's talk about your date because

0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:21.840
<v Speaker 1>I know. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna

0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:23.640
<v Speaker 1>try to get her on the phone. I understand she's ghosted.

0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:25.720
<v Speaker 1>Let's try to figure some things out, but roll it

0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:28.400
<v Speaker 1>out for me. So you met at Lisa online, and

0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:29.520
<v Speaker 1>then what did you guys do?

0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:32.159
<v Speaker 2>We decided to meet up for the first time. Just

0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:35.320
<v Speaker 2>got some dinner in Walnut Creek. Okay, everything felt great.

0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:38.839
<v Speaker 2>You know, we conversed really well. There were a lot

0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:42.160
<v Speaker 2>of jokes, lots of laughing, and nothing felt like wrong.

0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:45.200
<v Speaker 2>Everything felt natural, nothing forced kind of a thing. Would

0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:47.920
<v Speaker 2>you guys talk about a bunch of stuff? Really talked

0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.840
<v Speaker 2>about our work, travel. I mean we were talking for a while,

0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:53.080
<v Speaker 2>like nearly like we were there nearly two hours.

0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm waiting for that one person to say to me, Oh,

0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:58.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, politics, religion, the husu.

0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:02.880
<v Speaker 2>Nothing too divisive the first day, you know, you.

0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:05.000
<v Speaker 1>Know, mostly mostly about our exes.

0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:09.720
<v Speaker 2>No, it was all natural stuff. Yeah, sure, okay, it

0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:11.960
<v Speaker 2>was a good time. Yeah, nothing inappropriate to I mean,

0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:14.320
<v Speaker 2>it ended well, Like I said, it was like two hours.

0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:16.759
<v Speaker 2>It ended with a we should definitely do this again

0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.640
<v Speaker 2>sometime soon. Yeah, we hugged. You know, I tried to

0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:22.680
<v Speaker 2>reach out the next day even and I haven't heard

0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:24.000
<v Speaker 2>anything from her in a while.

0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:24.240
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:26.959
<v Speaker 1>How many times have you reached out like like a couple,

0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.199
<v Speaker 1>couple like I would, I would give it some space,

0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:29.399
<v Speaker 1>you know.

0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I reached out the next day and then gave it

0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:35.360
<v Speaker 2>another day to text again. Okay, I think it's it's

0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:37.160
<v Speaker 2>been like three or four times at this point.

0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.240
<v Speaker 1>And well, let me call options. So we're going to

0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:42.280
<v Speaker 1>call at least and figure out why she ghosted. Go

0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.039
<v Speaker 1>ahead and meet your phone so you can listen in.

0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:53.880
<v Speaker 1>Here we go. Hello, Hi, is this Elase?

0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:56.040
<v Speaker 3>Hi?

0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.240
<v Speaker 1>At least it's Marcus calling from Star one three? How

0:01:58.240 --> 0:01:58.560
<v Speaker 1>are you?

0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:02.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, Hi, Hey, surprise.

0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Hey girl, surprise. We're doing we're doing second date update

0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.360
<v Speaker 1>right now? Do you do you listen to the show?

0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:12.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, I love this show. It's great. I never

0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:13.839
<v Speaker 3>thought i'd be honest though.

0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:16.680
<v Speaker 1>Right here we are, Should I bring Trevor on now

0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:17.160
<v Speaker 1>or later?

0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:21.960
<v Speaker 3>I'd be oh, right, Trevor, Trevor you there? Yep?

0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:22.640
<v Speaker 2>The hair market?

0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:22.959
<v Speaker 1>Okay?

0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:23.400
<v Speaker 3>Good.

0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.320
<v Speaker 1>I figured since she listens every morning, we might as well.

0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:30.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, So Trevor's feeling ghosted. Doug you a lot.

0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:34.720
<v Speaker 1>We were pretty convinced. We listened to me. He was

0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.959
<v Speaker 1>pretty convinced you're gonna get a second date. And I'm

0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:40.480
<v Speaker 1>wondering if you ghosted, and if so, did he do

0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:41.200
<v Speaker 1>something wrong?

0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:44.200
<v Speaker 3>Well? The actual date was great.

0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:46.799
<v Speaker 3>I liked Trevor. I do.

0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.160
<v Speaker 1>He's right that you can talk to him directly. It's fine.

0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:50.360
<v Speaker 1>I'll be right here.

0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:52.360
<v Speaker 3>Okay, that's awkward.

0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:53.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry.

0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:57.120
<v Speaker 3>Okay, So, Trevor, you're a great guy. You're really funny,

0:02:57.240 --> 0:02:59.600
<v Speaker 3>You're really easy to talk to. There weren't any red

0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:05.280
<v Speaker 3>flag until the very end, when the check came. The

0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.480
<v Speaker 3>server had asked how we want to handle it, and

0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:11.360
<v Speaker 3>you immediately said let's split it. And you know, normally

0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:12.760
<v Speaker 3>that wouldn't be a big deal. But this is a

0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:16.600
<v Speaker 3>first date. We met online. You know, I had only

0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:21.400
<v Speaker 3>ordered an appetizer and water, where you had a lot

0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:27.200
<v Speaker 3>more food and like cocktails and desserts, And I just

0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:31.160
<v Speaker 3>was wondering if you might catch on to the fact

0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.200
<v Speaker 3>that you had so much more and you're asking me

0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.360
<v Speaker 3>to split the bill, which is like paying for all

0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:37.080
<v Speaker 3>of your stuff.

0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.080
<v Speaker 1>Did you say anything like in the moment?

0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:44.920
<v Speaker 3>No, I didn't because for the same reason I haven't responded,

0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.120
<v Speaker 3>Like I didn't want to make a scene. I wanted

0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:49.120
<v Speaker 3>to keep the vibe normal. I mean, I really did

0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.880
<v Speaker 3>have fun, but you know, but internally it just changed

0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:56.520
<v Speaker 3>everything for me. Okay, here's the thing. I always order

0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:59.600
<v Speaker 3>light on the first date. This is like on purpose

0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:03.000
<v Speaker 3>because it's my way of checking self awareness, Like I

0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:06.280
<v Speaker 3>have to protect myself online dating's rough. You know, it's

0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.280
<v Speaker 3>not about money. It's just I want to see if

0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.680
<v Speaker 3>a guy notices the imbalance without being told.

0:04:13.360 --> 0:04:14.400
<v Speaker 1>Wait, I'm lost.

0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.159
<v Speaker 2>What notices the imbalance?

0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:18.080
<v Speaker 3>Like a test?

0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.160
<v Speaker 2>So like, is that what this was?

0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:24.320
<v Speaker 3>If it's not a test, it's like a filter. It's

0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:26.120
<v Speaker 3>like something I have to do to weed out the

0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:29.799
<v Speaker 3>guys who don't pay attention, Like paying attention is really

0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:30.479
<v Speaker 3>important to me.

0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.520
<v Speaker 2>What you're describing, in my eyes at least, is literally

0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.320
<v Speaker 2>a test, And I don't even think that's fair since

0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.520
<v Speaker 2>you didn't even say anything. It's not fair to me

0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.520
<v Speaker 2>that I didn't know I was taking this test if

0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:42.560
<v Speaker 2>you don't communicate it.

0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.760
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to have to say anything. I was

0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.200
<v Speaker 3>hoping you'd be able to read the situation and figure

0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:49.440
<v Speaker 3>it out to address it.

0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Just be an adult and use your words and communicate.

0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:55.600
<v Speaker 3>Look, I am trying to be an adult here. I

0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.400
<v Speaker 3>tried to not make a scene and keep everything normal,

0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.240
<v Speaker 3>and I just know what I want, and it's not

0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:04.719
<v Speaker 3>someone like you who can't read what the room. This

0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:05.520
<v Speaker 3>is not a game.

0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:09.280
<v Speaker 2>It certainly seems like a game, but what you're describing

0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:10.919
<v Speaker 2>is a game that you're trying to play with me

0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:13.799
<v Speaker 2>and who knows however many other guys you're playing it with. Okay,

0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:16.200
<v Speaker 2>you know what. I didn't realize this was a situation.

0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.240
<v Speaker 3>Look, I'm just trying to find a guy, and I

0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:21.440
<v Speaker 3>expect the same.

0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:23.279
<v Speaker 1>This is devolving quick.

0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:26.000
<v Speaker 2>Clearly we haven't even gotten to the fact that you

0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:28.920
<v Speaker 2>ghosted me. But clearly you're too high maintenance for me,

0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:30.600
<v Speaker 2>So i'm out.

0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.800
<v Speaker 3>Oh you're clearly it's not a match.

0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, then why are we here? Hang on, you guys,

0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:36.000
<v Speaker 1>hang on?

0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:37.320
<v Speaker 2>Wow, all right.

0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:38.360
<v Speaker 1>Second date update