1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:10,120 Speaker 2: The holidays are here and everything's changing with this season, 3 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 2: right see music changing goodness. Many radio stations started playing 4 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 2: Christmas music the moment Thanksgiving stopped, so music started to change. 5 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 2: Decorations changing coming out, people putting up lights, doing all 6 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 2: kinds of things on their home. The stores, whether it 7 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 2: be a grocery store, department store, decorations are changing, and 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 2: even people's attitudes tend to change. Have you noticed that 9 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 2: interactions with each other tend to be a little more pleasant, 10 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 2: little more seasonally happy? And this is what seems to 11 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 2: happen around this time of the year every single year. 12 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 2: And just like that famous Christmas song, and we all 13 00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 2: know it, there's beauty in these small moments of comfort 14 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 2: and joy. But what is the true meaning of joy 15 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 2: and where does it come from? It seems that because 16 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 2: it tends to be a part of this season, that 17 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 2: the assumption is that comfort and joy or joy itself 18 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 2: lies in material things, because this time is associated with 19 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 2: gift giving and those types of things, that it seems 20 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 2: that the overall attitude is that joy is somehow attached 21 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 2: to that. Does it really come from material gifts. That 22 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 2: would be sad if that was the case. It must 23 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 2: come from the things of God. 24 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: See. 25 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 2: To the believer, joy is much more than a feeling. 26 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 2: You can't just wrap it up in a box, put 27 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 2: a bow on it, and hand it to someone. It's 28 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 2: not just wow, I'm in a really good mood today, 29 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 2: or I really feel happy today. Joy is much bigger 30 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 2: than that. Joy is much grander and much more pure 31 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,080 Speaker 2: than something that can be stuffed in a box or 32 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 2: a bag or handed out to everyone. Joy has to 33 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 2: be bigger than that. It has to be It has 34 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 2: to be from God for it to be real. People 35 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 2: confuse joy with happiness, which is really not a good thing. 36 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 2: We've said this over and over on the show, because 37 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: really happiness is kind of this this flash feeling of 38 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: joy due to a happening, something that happened. So you 39 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 2: have this happiness. Somebody gives you a gift, somebody says 40 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 2: something nice, whatever it is, you have this happiness because 41 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 2: of that happening. But joy is altogether different. It's pure, 42 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 2: and it's in an intense concentration. It doesn't have the 43 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 2: ebb and flow of happiness. It certainly can't be given 44 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,079 Speaker 2: to you because of a pill you're taking, or because 45 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 2: of a gift you've been given, or because of a 46 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 2: movie you just saw. If anything, these things that you 47 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 2: call happiness are just a little bit of that curtain 48 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 2: that keeps you from that joy, the joy that's there 49 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 2: all the time. It's just a little bit of that 50 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 2: curtain being pulled back and in just glimpsing that joy 51 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 2: that's always with you. 52 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: Believe it or not. 53 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 2: They say that if you're looking and looking and looking 54 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 2: for something and can't find it, chances are you already 55 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 2: have it. And so so many people search for joy 56 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: thinking they're going to lift up a rock, or they're 57 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 2: going to open a door or come around a corner, 58 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,839 Speaker 2: and there joy is seeking that going, well, where is 59 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 2: this joy? I keep hearing about? But it's with you always. 60 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 2: It comes from God, and it can only be realized, 61 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 2: It only be seen and appreciated and really understood when 62 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 2: you're in God's presence here on earth, not the same 63 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: way you'll be in God's presence in heaven, but in 64 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 2: a state of having a relationship with God, in a 65 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: state of a prayer and connection with God, that's when 66 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 2: you'll know joy, real joy, that concentrated joy, and not 67 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,799 Speaker 2: just the glance or the glimpse or or the little 68 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 2: peace or the taste of joy that you get during happenings, 69 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 2: things that just make you happy. And during this time 70 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 2: of year, it seems that there's this shift, this shift 71 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:20,919 Speaker 2: where even the non believer starts experience experiencing just a 72 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 2: little bit of what the Christian does all year round. 73 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 2: Because joy is not attached to a day, whether it's 74 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 2: the celebration of my birth or not. Joy is always there. 75 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 2: Joy is inside. It lasts and lasts and lasts. It's 76 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 2: not moved or changed by circumstance, and it's incredibly powerful. 77 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 2: It's what keeps you stable in times of great chaos 78 00:05:55,240 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 2: and turmoil. Having joy doesn't mean you understand everything going 79 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 2: on around you, or that your circumstances are always pleasant 80 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 2: or funfilled. That's a misrepresentation of joy. Joy comes from 81 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 2: understanding your life is in God's hand, and that's where 82 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 2: your comfort lies as well. The song comfort and joy. 83 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 2: There is a wonderful marriage there, but it's not because 84 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:30,359 Speaker 2: of circumstances. It's not because well, things seem to be 85 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 2: going my way, and therefore I have joy and I 86 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 2: have comfort. The comfort is knowing that God has you. 87 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 2: You've heard it before, right, It's not what the future holds, 88 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 2: but it's who holds your future that matters. Well, if 89 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 2: God is holding your future, if God is holding you, 90 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 2: your heart, your faith, then you won't be swayed and 91 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,600 Speaker 2: caught up in the things of every day. Doesn't mean 92 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 2: that you won't get down from time to time, but 93 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 2: being up or down due to circumstances is normal. 94 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: But joy can. 95 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 2: Exist simultaneously even when you're not in the best of moods, 96 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 2: because it's not just that feeling. The joy is there 97 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 2: in the simplicity of life itself, enjoying mere existence. This 98 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 2: is the day that the Lord has made. Let us 99 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 2: rejoice in it, rejoice feeling that joy just in the 100 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: simplicity of this is a day that God made. And 101 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 2: once you find that, once you understand that it's not 102 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 2: something you're searching for, it's not something you're looking for, 103 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 2: you look to know God. And with knowing God comes 104 00:07:51,400 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 2: that joy comes, that that altogether concentrate of the things 105 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 2: of God, not some swaying, ever changing, always in this 106 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 2: state of flux kind of feeling thing. The world wants this, 107 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 2: wants you to think that that's what joy is. That 108 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: comfort is in knowing what's going to happen to you. 109 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: Comfort is knowing every step that's ahead of you. That's 110 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:34,840 Speaker 2: not comfort, that's not joy. The real comfort and joy 111 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 2: that's talked about in scripture deals with being comforted knowing 112 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 2: that God is with you, that God has a plan 113 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 2: for your life, that you have a purpose, and that 114 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 2: God loves you. Therein lies the comfort. Therein lies the joy. 115 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 2: God is that source of joy. And during the holidays, 116 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 2: as you see people going throughout shopping and buying gifts 117 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 2: and receiving gifts and eating fun snacks and fun foods 118 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 2: and everything that comes with the holidays, the automatic place 119 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 2: you go is that that's what brings joy. And I 120 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 2: want to reset that for you. I want you to 121 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 2: see it differently, that, yes, you may be in a 122 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,680 Speaker 2: circumstance where you might not be with family this year, 123 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 2: you may be in a circumstance where you've lost some 124 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 2: family and whatever it might be, that if you have 125 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:45,079 Speaker 2: God with you throughout any circumstance, including sometimes the sadness 126 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 2: that comes with the holidays as well, that that is 127 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 2: where your joy lies. That is where your comfort lies. 128 00:09:54,960 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 2: The holidays are here, of course, And with Christmas, it's 129 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 2: every movie, it's a cliche. Every movie that you see 130 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 2: dealing with Christmas always surrounds about the magic spirit of Christmas, 131 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 2: the attitude of people, and as everything goes and changes 132 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 2: during this time of the year, this season, you start 133 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 2: thinking about things like joy. You hear songs that talk 134 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 2: about comfort and joy, but to the Christian that means 135 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 2: something altogether different. It's not just something because someone's giving 136 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 2: you a gift, just some wonderful feeling. Comfort and joy 137 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 2: is very real, It's very constant, and it's pure. When 138 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 2: you're a person of faith, it's inside. It lasts forever 139 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 2: and good and bad circumstances, and that keeps you stable 140 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,679 Speaker 2: and a float during times of chaos. So don't get 141 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 2: caught up thinking that joy is this thing that just 142 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 2: comes once a year, or comes when gifts are present 143 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 2: or people tend to just be in a better mood. 144 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 2: That's not what it is, because things will fade away. 145 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 2: True joy must be sturdier, much more solid than material 146 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 2: things or ever changing situations that come and go. Joy 147 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 2: is not attached to you getting something, and it's not 148 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 2: attached to this world at all. God is the only 149 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 2: true source of joy and the comfort that comes with it. 150 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: That's it. 151 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 2: Tewod Corinthians one three said, blessed be the God and 152 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 2: Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies 153 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 2: and of God and of all comfort. God brings the 154 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 2: fullness of joy, not part not little pieces, a little 155 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 2: bit here, a little bit there. Psalm sixteen eleven says, 156 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 2: in Thy presence is fullness of joy. The fullness of 157 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 2: joy being in the presence of the Maker. 158 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: That is joy. 159 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 2: That is where I want you to be, not cut 160 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 2: up in gifts or this or that, but being in 161 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 2: the relationship with God. Your joy filled by God's purpose. 162 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 2: That's joy, not just by what life brings you. It's 163 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 2: okay to enjoy things. It's okay to enjoy life. It's 164 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 2: okay to be happy the things that you have in life. 165 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 2: But the fullness of life and true joy can only 166 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 2: come from God. Rebecca, Welcome to the Jesus Christia. 167 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 1: Jesus Hi, Rebecca, H. 168 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:58,119 Speaker 3: I know you love me, and I truly love myself, 169 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 3: But how can I feel joy, comfort and joy during 170 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 3: the holiday season when everything around around me reminds me 171 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 3: that I'm single, I'm alone and I feel like I 172 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 3: have no one to love me and maybe no one 173 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 3: will ever love me. 174 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: Well, that doesn't really seem plausible. There's no evidence that 175 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 2: God makes people thirsty and then doesn't create water. Just 176 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 2: doesn't happen. People don't run around looking for something to 177 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 2: quench their thirst unless there is something to quench their thirst. 178 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 2: I will question a couple of your statements. If you 179 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 2: are with someone and they love you, you seem to 180 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 2: think that that then you'll be fulfilled in that you 181 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 2: won't go looking for another mate, right, true? Okay, so 182 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 2: the hope is that there will be a hole there 183 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 2: of some kind and that you'll be fulfilled. Yet you 184 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 2: tell me you love me, done, check, I love you too. Yeah, 185 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 2: And then you say that you love yourself. Yes, but 186 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 2: yet you feel the need to look for someone else 187 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 2: in a way that is looking for fulfillment. And I 188 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,640 Speaker 2: will tell you this, when you truly love attracts love. 189 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:14,439 Speaker 1: It's just the way it. 190 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 2: Works when and I don't mean in that like the 191 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 2: secret and the law of attraction everything. I mean that 192 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 2: it is it is bound together. It's materially bound together. 193 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 2: And when you are comfortable with who you are, and 194 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 2: you are in a nice, healthy, wonderful place is when 195 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 2: you will attract those that are in the same place. 196 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 2: You don't need anybody, you know, there's not a need 197 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 2: in that sense. There is a want and a desire 198 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 2: and you're built for it. But if you have those desires, 199 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: there's no reason for you to feel that you wouldn't 200 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 2: have it. Now, what is in your mind? In total honesty, 201 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 2: because if you're not honest, it's not going to do 202 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 2: us any good. But Rebecca, in total honesty, what do 203 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 2: you think is the reason that you haven't found that 204 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 2: right person? Because I'm assuming you've dated before, you've met people, Yes, okay, 205 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 2: so what is what is the. 206 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: What's the reason? 207 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 3: I've been in relationships and I've been engaged a couple 208 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 3: of times in the past, you know, six years, and 209 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 3: I was married before, and you know, I really don't know. 210 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 3: I feel that the men that I am initially attracted to, 211 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 3: and they're very attracted to me, I feel that it's 212 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 3: just it's purely physical. There's like there's nothing there, there's 213 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 3: no substance there. 214 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 2: Well, everything's going to be physical at first, I mean, 215 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 2: that's how you see people. That's the very first thing 216 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 2: you're going to connect with with somebody is going to 217 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 2: be physical. I like the way you look, or you're 218 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 2: pleasing to me, or something that's it's superficial for a reason, 219 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 2: because that's what you're going to experience first. 220 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: But you say it never goes past that. 221 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 3: It really doesn't seem to. It's just you know, maybe 222 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 3: you know I've been told, but I'm I'm too picky 223 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 3: about certain things, like for example, you know, maybe a 224 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 3: data man who smokes cigarette. I don't smoke. And then 225 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 3: in the beginning, okay, well I can handle it, and 226 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 3: then after the relationships goes on, it's like, I'm a 227 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 3: cigarette smoke is just I can't stand it anymore. Well, 228 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 3: casually smokes marijuana. Okay, well I'm fine with it. I'm 229 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 3: you know, but after you know, six months of you 230 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 3: know him, you know, sitting standing there, you know, at 231 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 3: a bond, you know, bigger than he is, you know, 232 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 3: I just I can't. It's like a deal breaker. I 233 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 3: can't do it anymore. And then I find myself again 234 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 3: just I'm back in the same place. I'm by myself, 235 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 3: and I'm I'm alone. And so maybe there's something in 236 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 3: me that is attracting dysfunctional men in some capacity because 237 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 3: maybe there's something that's functional in myself and I'm you know, 238 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 3: I don't know, maybe it's worth I mean I pour 239 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 3: when I go to when I work, I pour myself 240 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 3: into it. So maybe, you know, maybe that's what it is. 241 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 1: It could be many things. 242 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:08,239 Speaker 2: First of all, you're choosing, choosing horribly. One of the 243 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 2: best things to do is to find people in places 244 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 2: that you share experiences. You don't want a carbon copy 245 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,880 Speaker 2: of yourself. Trust me that that's not what you're looking for. 246 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 2: But if you don't like smoking, there's no reason to 247 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 2: spend the time with somebody who smokes at all. There's 248 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,679 Speaker 2: no reason to invest in that at all. And the 249 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 2: same with the marijuana. There's just it's not worth it 250 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 2: if you if it doesn't work out like that, or 251 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: these are not things that you want in your life, 252 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 2: then don't even start going down that path. But each 253 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,920 Speaker 2: time you do, you're wasting time in one sense by 254 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 2: not having the experience of meeting someone else because you're 255 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 2: now in this relationship with someone that you knew at 256 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 2: the very beginning does things that you're not that great with. 257 00:17:54,119 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 2: But everyone's going to have something And I'm wondering if 258 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:05,399 Speaker 2: there's either a your your sense of what you're looking 259 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,440 Speaker 2: for is too great. 260 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 1: And this happens. 261 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 2: The longer that you're single, more people tend to create. 262 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 1: An even more. 263 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 2: Kind of exclusive and perfect image in their head as 264 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 2: to what their partner is going to be, and it 265 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 2: ends up becoming more difficult to find someone. 266 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 3: So the real that could be happening too. I believe that. 267 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:31,360 Speaker 1: Could be happy and work and everything like that. 268 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 2: That plays a part with everybody's life. But you can 269 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 2: manage all that. First and foremost, do you have any 270 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,400 Speaker 2: hobbies or anything that you like doing. 271 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,360 Speaker 3: Well? I, you know, I like cycling, I love traveling 272 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 3: and into site seeing. You know that there's really guilty. 273 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,160 Speaker 1: Pleasures that I'm wonderful. 274 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 2: Then that's where that's that's a good place for you 275 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 2: to meet people now because you're you're going to connect 276 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 2: with things that you like. However, you don't want to 277 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 2: be going on those You don't want to be doing 278 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,240 Speaker 2: those things just to meet someone. You want to go 279 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 2: and do those things to better yourself and be you know, 280 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 2: become a continue to become a full person as you 281 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 2: explore and learn and be curious and all of those things. 282 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 2: But once when you're spending time more time with yourself, 283 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 2: and you really get to a place where you enjoy 284 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 2: your own company. Only then can you have a relationship 285 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 2: that's worth anything, because now it's always about adding something 286 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 2: to your life and you're not going to that way. 287 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 3: And I agree, I enjoy my own company. I mean 288 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 3: I can spend hours and hours, you know, just finding 289 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 3: things for myself to do, even taking you know, road 290 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 3: trips by myself, which people find really pretty scary, you know, 291 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 3: for a single woman to go out there and take 292 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,719 Speaker 3: a road trip, which I've done before and it had 293 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 3: a wonderful time. You met wonderful people. What I what 294 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 3: I'm seeking in my life is the companion, you know, 295 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 3: a true friend. And it just I feel that the 296 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 3: guy that I date, as I explained before, they were stokers, 297 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 3: that they were addicted to alcohol or drugs or you know, 298 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 3: it's just they want sex and it's like there's no substance, 299 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,879 Speaker 3: there's just nothing, you know, there's nothing for them to 300 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 3: stay with it. I don't know, I just I really 301 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 3: don't know how to explain. It's it's a specific I see. 302 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:28,879 Speaker 2: Well, people don't. People don't. It's the best way to 303 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 2: say this I will say it this way. People don't 304 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 2: redecorate motels they go. They may be unpacked when they 305 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:40,680 Speaker 2: stay at them, because there's something about that structure that says, 306 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 2: this is not your home. 307 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 1: It's just where you stay for a little while. 308 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 2: And you don't ever want to give out that energy 309 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 2: to anybody, and you want to make sure that everything 310 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 2: that you're doing points to a long term relationship, that 311 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 2: that's what you're looking for for one for Secondly, when 312 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 2: it comes to relationships, if if you're fulfilled, if you 313 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 2: are totally happy with who you are, then there's no 314 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:19,400 Speaker 2: they don't have any any cachet. They're not coming saying oh, well, 315 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 2: she's obviously she'd needs somebody or she needs companionship or whatever, 316 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 2: and I'm bringing that. So then therefore I'm going to 317 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 2: take something from her. When I say I want you 318 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,159 Speaker 2: to be comfortable with yourself, I really mean it. I 319 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,120 Speaker 2: want you to get to a place where you are 320 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 2: so comfortable with yourself that you that if somebody was 321 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 2: hitting on you, you wouldn't even recognize it because you're 322 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 2: just so comfortable with where you are. And maybe that 323 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 2: sounds like an annoyance. Oh they're gonna interrupt my day 324 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: or where I'm at and your happiness and look towards 325 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 2: really fulfilling yourself and being in that mode. And I 326 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,200 Speaker 2: think once you get to that place, once you get 327 00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,400 Speaker 2: to a place where you feel super comfortable with who 328 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 2: you are and you're enjoying yourself and you're exploring and 329 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 2: you're going out and you're traveling and you're doing whatever, 330 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:14,199 Speaker 2: it'll come. So to break it down, it's have legitimate. 331 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:15,959 Speaker 1: Expectation. 332 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 2: Manage your expectation as to what you want, what you're 333 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 2: looking for. Don't go down a path that begins with 334 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 2: something you're not looking for. You don't want to date 335 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 2: a smoker, and I would suggest not dating a smoker, 336 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:35,360 Speaker 2: then don't start with that. Don't even bother having that. 337 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 2: If somebody see someone smoke, then move on. If there 338 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 2: are things that are that show themselves early on, there's 339 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 2: no reason to dig deeper for you if that's going 340 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 2: to be a deal breaker down online, because then it's 341 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 2: just going to be a deal breaker with someone that 342 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 2: you've sort of connected with. And chemistry is a wonderful 343 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:56,840 Speaker 2: thing and should be. 344 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: A part of it both physically. 345 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,360 Speaker 2: There should be some initial coming, but there should also 346 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 2: be some intellectual chemistry. And if guys constantly want to 347 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 2: take you to bed, it's because they're not seeing that 348 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,159 Speaker 2: there's something else there. And that's partly on them, but 349 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 2: it's partly on you too. You have to show them 350 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 2: that there's something more to the picture and that there's 351 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 2: something more to the package of who you are, and 352 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 2: they'll want to explore talking with you and going to 353 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,919 Speaker 2: other places and hearing what's on your mind and learning 354 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 2: about the way you think and what you think and 355 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 2: why you think it, and all those things come together, 356 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 2: But really it starts with you. You have to be 357 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 2: in a place. The assumption is that when you're single, 358 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 2: you're available, and that's not the truth. That's never the truth. 359 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 2: Single is a state of physicality, whether you've met somebody 360 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 2: or have somebody in your life. But being available is 361 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 2: really a state, a mental and emotional state. It's about 362 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 2: being healthy. It's about being ready and primed and comfortable 363 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 2: with who you are. And it's almost like when you're 364 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 2: comfortable being alone and not needing. 365 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 1: Anybody is when somebody will come along. 366 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 2: Relationships, Really, the entirety of the Bible is set upon 367 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,920 Speaker 2: the foundation of relationships. Even the ten commandments are really 368 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 2: about roughly half deal with your relationship with God and 369 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 2: half deal with your relationship with Man, Adam and Eve. 370 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 2: From the beginning, really dealing with relationship not only between 371 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 2: each other, but also between the animals, the earth, the 372 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 2: natural resources. 373 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: And they're very important. 374 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:55,680 Speaker 2: But everything goes back to that that peak relationship on 375 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 2: this planet, and that is going to be interpersonal really 376 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 2: with each other. Of course, God is always above all 377 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 2: of that. God is your first and your foremost love. 378 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 2: But as you look for a partner, a good partner 379 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 2: in life, you have to be prepared mentally and emotionally 380 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 2: as to where you're going to be and above all, 381 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 2: really enjoying who you are and having your life right 382 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:32,000 Speaker 2: with God. I know that it's a cliche to go 383 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 2: through a breakup or go through something rough in life 384 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 2: and then go running to the church, but I will 385 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 2: tell you that that's no different than going through a 386 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,640 Speaker 2: car wash after you know, mudwomping in your truck. It's 387 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 2: just a matter of getting all of that off of 388 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 2: your person emotionally and physically, and taking the time to 389 00:25:55,480 --> 00:26:00,400 Speaker 2: reconnect with your God and prepare yourself for another relationship, 390 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 2: not just another another another another but really being in 391 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 2: that mindset of no, I want to be prepared for this. 392 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 2: The assumption is just because you're single or you don't 393 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 2: have somebody in your life that makes you prepared. That's 394 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,439 Speaker 2: not being prepared for anything. The absence of something is 395 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 2: not the preparation for something else. Ever, that's just the beginning. 396 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 2: It's like saying, well, I don't have a car, therefore 397 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 2: I'm prepared to get one. 398 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 3: No. 399 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,399 Speaker 1: Have you saved up money for the car? No? So 400 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 1: you don't have the damn payment? 401 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 2: No? Okay, do you have any money in the bank nop. 402 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 2: Do you have a home where you could park the car? No, 403 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,359 Speaker 2: don't have a home, don't have money. Then, just because 404 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,880 Speaker 2: you don't have a car doesn't mean you're prepared for one. Likewise, 405 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 2: prepare yourself for a relationship. Put away experiences in your 406 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 2: your emotional bank, things that you enjoy doing, have hobbies 407 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 2: and interests, and things that aren't going to make you 408 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 2: just a barnacle on someone else's life. You don't want 409 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 2: somebody like that in your life either. You don't want 410 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 2: somebody to come in and go eh and latch on. 411 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 2: You want somebody who has depth and interest and you 412 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 2: need to prepare yourself for that as well. So being 413 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:30,440 Speaker 2: single doesn't mean you're available and you're ready. Prepare yourself, 414 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 2: and the way you prepare yourself is to really enjoy 415 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,679 Speaker 2: your own company, the things around you. Explore life, Enjoy life, 416 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:43,120 Speaker 2: have hobbies, love yourself, love your God, and love will come. 417 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: KFI AM six forty on demand