1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: You're listening to KFI A six forty on demand. Chris, 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Excuse me, that is you, Chris? 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: How can I help you? 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 2: Okay? So this is my question. What is the Bible's 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 2: position on a marriage in which the husband completely rejects 6 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 2: and insists that his wife sever her relationships with her parents, 7 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 2: her siblings, and her children from a previous marriage. The 8 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 2: husband insists that his wife make a choice between him 9 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 2: and the three small children that they have to gather, 10 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: or her children from a previous marriage and her extended family. 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, on the surface, it sounds so incredibly horrible 12 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 1: that the decision seems easy. However, there's always more to 13 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: a story, is that What is his reasoning for not 14 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: wanting your children from another marriage? Are they older children? 15 00:00:59,680 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 3: Yes? 16 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 2: They are? 17 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: How old are they? 18 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 2: They are eighteen and twenty two? 19 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: Are they? And are they boys? 20 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 4: Boy? 21 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:06,839 Speaker 2: And a girl? 22 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: Boy and a girl? And your children with this new husband, 23 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: they're young, you. 24 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 2: Say, yeah, the very young toddlers. 25 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: Okay, And what is their sex and age? 26 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 2: And we've got twins that are flour and a five 27 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 2: year old? 28 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 1: Okay? 29 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 4: And oh I'm. 30 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 2: Sorry, and the twins are boy girl, and then the 31 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 2: five year old is a little girl. 32 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: Okay, now, what is his reasoning for not wanting the 33 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: the adult or older children in the home. 34 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 2: Well, it sort of goes back to my divorce from 35 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 2: my previous husband, and the previous husband and the current 36 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 2: husband really very deeply dislike each other, and so it's 37 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 2: all really stemmed from that. So my current husband just 38 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 2: throws my two older children into the same you know 39 00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 2: category with the ex the ex husband, because they're all, 40 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 2: you know, my children are friend my ex husband. So 41 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 2: he just for that reason, he just hates their dad 42 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,839 Speaker 2: and wants nothing to do with them. 43 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: And so, okay, unfortunately he's not here to make his case. 44 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: But as you've presented it, you know, obviously you come 45 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 1: with your own baggage into this relationship. That's what happens 46 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: when there's divorce and remarriage, and divorce and remarriage and 47 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: these types of things, that there's split families and with 48 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: you come your parents and and your previous children. So 49 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: if there are issues, the man or woman of the 50 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: house has the right to say, you know, to draw 51 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: lines if there's issues about if your parents don't respect 52 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: him in his home. He absolutely has the right to 53 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 1: say they're not coming in here anymore. And if there's issues, 54 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: the same way you would because it's about your home 55 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: and protecting one another. He absolutely has that right. You 56 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: absolutely have that right. If his parents didn't respect you 57 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: or didn't treat you well, he has the right, through 58 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: you and because of you, to say don't want them 59 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: in the house. Scripture says that a man would leave 60 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: his family and cleave to his new wife and they 61 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: would become one flesh. So if there was a choice, 62 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: then yes, you're bound to each other. You've made the 63 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: oath to each other. You're grown people, and if there 64 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: was someone causing you harm, even if it was his 65 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: own parents, then you'd cut them out. But if they're 66 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: not causing you harm and yours aren't causing his harm, 67 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: then it's a power trip of some kind which is 68 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: rooted in something probably greater than we'll have time to 69 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: get into. When it comes to your kids. However, as 70 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 1: long as that the adult kids are not causing any 71 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: harm on your your little. 72 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 2: Babies, of course they love them and they. 73 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: Care for them, then it's incredibly selfish and ugly to 74 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: not allow them to have that connection with their siblings, 75 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: as as half brothers and sisters or anything. It's also 76 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: equally as ugly to keep you away from your children. 77 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: So for whatever reason, when you guys initially got married, 78 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: were your other children not around, I mean they would 79 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 1: have been younger then. 80 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, they were. They were, and it started out okay, 81 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 2: and he was nice to them, but over time, you know, 82 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 2: the the ex husband really sort of alienated them from 83 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 2: my new husband, and at some point my new husband 84 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 2: just said, I want nothing to do with them, and. 85 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, he's taking the easy way out. It sounds like, 86 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: again he's not here to defend his ideas or what's 87 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: going on. He may have some insights to the discussion 88 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: that would would change it, but from what you've told me, 89 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,359 Speaker 1: there's nothing I see where there's it's a protection issue 90 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: of you, him or the children. In reality, it sounds 91 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 1: like it's a protection of the discomfort, the flexing of 92 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 1: his frustration or you know, lack of connection with these people, 93 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: and therefore is putting his foot down, which is inappropriate 94 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: from what you've told me. In the situation, I think 95 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: the best case for him would be to have a 96 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: discussion with your older children and. 97 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 2: He refuses to do that. 98 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 1: If you won't, if you can't have any of that discussion, 99 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 1: if you can't have any of that connection, you're at 100 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,599 Speaker 1: a loss. You picked, you picked a bad guy, and 101 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: you chose to have children with him. Yeah, that's what 102 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: it comes down to. If that's the case, and he 103 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: doesn't care enough about you or as kids, or the 104 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: health of the family, that it's all about him and 105 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 1: what he wants and what he cares about and what 106 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: hurts his feelings or what he's got to uh, you know, 107 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: yield to or or men to or any of those things. 108 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 1: Then then you pick you picked the bad guy, and yeah, 109 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: you have to decide how that fits in your life 110 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: and uh, and what's important. But you chose him not 111 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: only to be your husband, but to be the father 112 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: to your children and uh and you have to, you know, 113 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 1: reconcile with that fact and figure out how to make 114 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: this work in its current context. Thank you so much 115 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: for taking the time to join me today, and remember, 116 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 1: more importantly all this craziness. I am with you always, John, 117 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. 118 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 5: Good morning. 119 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: How are you John, I'm very well, Thank you. How 120 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: can I help you? 121 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 2: My question is in regard cards to the correct interpretation 122 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 2: of tithing slash giving in the New Testament. 123 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: Okay, well, the New Testament doesn't talk about tithing per se. Now, 124 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: the Old Testament does, and a lot of references that 125 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: you'll hear about it really are our Old Testament based. 126 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: It's important to give. However, I never in any part 127 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: of the New Testament commanded my disciples to tithe. Now, 128 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: and there's also no New Testament writers that record any 129 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: specific comments or anything concerning Christian tithing. But the early 130 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:44,559 Speaker 1: Church really focused on free will sharing of one material goods. 131 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 1: You can find that in First Corinthians sixteen one and two, 132 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: and also Ephesians for twenty eight. But nowhere are you 133 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: going to find necessarily the Christians are commanded to give 134 00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: like a tenth. What they're called to give is themselves. 135 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: They're called to be a living sacrifice and to give 136 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: material goods and the like, as God leads First Corinthians 137 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: eight one and five. It also is to be done 138 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: with a cheerful heart, to be in a state of giving. 139 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: So the tithe is just kind of a word that 140 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: churches use to explain the fact that if you're going 141 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: to a church, John, and you're sitting in their pews 142 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: or their chairs, and you're using their air conditioning and 143 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: their electricity and all of that they have to offer. 144 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 1: You should be giving back to your church, that's your community. 145 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: But you should be doing it freely. If ten percent 146 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: is a good mark for you, great, But really the 147 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,959 Speaker 1: tithe of the Old Testament tie tithe was more of 148 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: a tax, and it was probably more around twenty one 149 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: percent and not ten percent. But when all was said 150 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:01,200 Speaker 1: and done, but giving is what's important. John. Being in 151 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: that state of giving and not not being stingy with 152 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: your money or sitting in the church and taking everything 153 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: that they have to offer you and giving nothing back 154 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,559 Speaker 1: is just stealing that. That's pretty clear in scripture. 155 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 6: So I agree with that completely. 156 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: So it's just not people say tithe. Nowadays. Pastors mistakenly 157 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: say tithe, but what they really mean is to just 158 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: a heart and love gift to the church or to 159 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: a ministry to keep them afloat. 160 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 6: Tithing can be restrictive. 161 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: It can also Yeah, some people say, well only ten 162 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: percent as well, but really it's it should be to 163 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,199 Speaker 1: you feel it. It shouldn't be well, I'm just going 164 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: to give a little bit here. The ten percent actually 165 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: becomes a good marker or reminder. Just like money managers 166 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: will tell you to save a certain percent at least 167 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: ten percent of your paycheck that goes into savings. These 168 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: kinds of things are good markers. But really you should 169 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: be saving more, you should be giving more. You should 170 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: be doing everything you can to use what's given to 171 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: you and put it back into the community of the 172 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: church if you are attending, and also your community as 173 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: a whole. And I think those things are just positive 174 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 1: and healthy and God blesses that. 175 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 6: Amen. Thank you very much for your answer. 176 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 1: You're welcome, John. And I know that's one of those 177 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: topics that people get kind of confused. And I get that. 178 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: The one of the criticisms of the church as a 179 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: whole or anytime you see someone preaching on TV is 180 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: just money can be yucky. It just can. It can 181 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: just look to be misused. And it's hard not to 182 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: look at a church that's just massive in size and 183 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: have people that are non believers look at that and go, wow, 184 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: I would never give my money there is there, you know, 185 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: look at all the gold leafing on the on the 186 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: front of the facade there and all of these things. 187 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: But here's the deal. It's about giving to God for 188 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 1: the practical reasons. What a lot of people don't know 189 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 1: that aren't in the church, that the church has Philippians 190 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: funds or certain funds that are designed to take care 191 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: of people on the down low. They're not making a 192 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: big deal about it and saying, oh, you know, some 193 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: of our some of our parish has been in you know, 194 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 1: hard times and we're taking care of them. Or someone's 195 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: business just folded or what have you. There's all kinds 196 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: of things that are going on because churches give as well. 197 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: They give to the community, and they give back and 198 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: do beautification projects in the community and all kinds of things. 199 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 1: And it's really there's nothing uglier than somebody who goes 200 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: and sits in a church and takes everything the church 201 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: has to offer and walks out as if they're not 202 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: part of it. If you're going to be a part 203 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 1: of the community, give if you don't have money, make 204 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 1: sure you give time. A good rule of thumb for 205 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 1: tithing conceptually is that, since the tithe really doesn't exist 206 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: today or for the Christian Church specifically, that when you give, 207 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: be consistent in your giving. If you do give ten percent. 208 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: If that's what God puts on your heart, great, but 209 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: be consistent to the best of your ability. Continually give 210 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: that ten percent. Because what happens is the church has 211 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 1: bills as well, and if everything's constantly in the state 212 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,439 Speaker 1: of flux, and the money is going up or it's 213 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: going down, or it's going up or it's going down, 214 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 1: it can be a huge problem for the church to 215 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: keep their own finances in check. Steve, Welcome to the 216 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: Jesus Christ Show. Oh hello, Hi Steve, how can I 217 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: help you? 218 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 2: Hi? 219 00:12:53,960 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 4: Well, my question is where my wife what considers or 220 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 4: is looking at the reason for divorce with me? 221 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: Your wife is looking for she's looking for a reason 222 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 1: to divorce you. 223 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 4: Well, she's looking for a biblical reason to divorce me, okay. 224 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 4: And one of them that she had asked me pointedly 225 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 4: was about masturbation and and pornography use, and so I 226 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 4: admitted that there has been some and so she she 227 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 4: jumped on that as well, that's adultery and and uh 228 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 4: so that gives her reason. 229 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 3: For divorcing me. 230 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: Well, why do you think she's looking for a reason 231 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: to divorce in the first place. 232 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 4: Well, there's there's been some other issues that we've had 233 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 4: ongoing and like for instance, for her, and from her 234 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 4: point of view, I've not been I've been meant, she says, 235 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,560 Speaker 4: I've been mentally abusive to her or emotionally abusive to her. 236 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 1: Well, and you know, in this case, her point of 237 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 1: view is the most important. You know, how you treat 238 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: somebody can only be told to you by that persons. 239 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: So really they have the most important insights. So if 240 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: she says this is how I'm feeling or this is 241 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: what I'm receiving, you have to take that to heart. 242 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: So she thinks she've been emotionally, emotionally and mentally abusive 243 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: to her, And how how would she clarify that? Would 244 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 1: she classify it as you know, you yell at her, 245 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: or you don't talk to her, or you don't participate, 246 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: have her participate in decision making you don't. How would 247 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: it manifest? 248 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 4: Would you say, oh boy, it's pretty I think it's 249 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 4: pretty complicated. 250 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 3: She actually blames it on. 251 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:02,320 Speaker 4: She has a me so much accountable as she holds my. 252 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 3: Buttbringing accountable is where she feels I get it from. 253 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: Well, that doesn't upbringing only serves so much scripture, says 254 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 1: Paul said that as a child, I acted and spoke 255 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: like a child. As an adult, I acting I speak 256 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: as an adult. And there's no matter what you've been 257 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 1: through in life, you have the ability to understand that 258 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: something was right or wrong and grow from it. And 259 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: so it's not the best of excuses. But right now 260 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: you're in a place where you're masturbating and you're using 261 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: pornography and your wife isn't happy about it. 262 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 4: Well, the bottom line for me is that I did 263 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 4: not treat my wife as I was as God has 264 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 4: required me to. 265 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 3: Treat my wife. 266 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 4: Doesn't sound like it, and and so I and I really, 267 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 4: you know, basically, I reacted to disrespect what I saw 268 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 4: of disrespect from her. But that's but really my reaction 269 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 4: towards her, which manifested in and not showing her the 270 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 4: loving and carrying I I'm supposed. 271 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 1: To be doing. 272 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 4: And I use that as a you know, I excuse 273 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 4: my My behavior was wrong, and it didn't matter, I 274 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 4: guess at the bottom lines, it didn't matter how she 275 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 4: treated me. 276 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 3: The fact is that I was not treating. 277 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 4: Her as as I should have been as a husband. 278 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: Okay, And I'm glad to recognize that. 279 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, and so. 280 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 4: You know, I accept full responsibility. I love my wife 281 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 4: to death, and I will do everything I can to 282 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 4: try to stop us some o everything I can possibly 283 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 4: do to try to let her know that I love 284 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 4: her and try to win her heart back. 285 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 1: Have you told her these things? 286 00:16:59,720 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 3: Yeah? 287 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 4: I have and asked her for forgiveness and in the areas, 288 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 4: in these areas, but she hasn't offered forgiveness. 289 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I think it's time to take those those 290 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,479 Speaker 1: words into action, and you need to. You know, are 291 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 1: you guys attending a church currently? 292 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 3: We do? 293 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, And is there a counselor on the premises 294 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 1: or a pastor that can do some pastoral counseling. 295 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 4: There? There is a counselor. I've gone. 296 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,040 Speaker 3: I've been going to a counselor. 297 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 4: She which is an elder there at the church. He 298 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 4: also is a is a counselor by trade. My wife 299 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 4: has gone gone to a counselor separately, who's a secular counselor. 300 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 3: And but she's been willing to go to a counselor together. 301 00:17:54,359 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 4: Why Well, I believe what she's told me that she's 302 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,400 Speaker 4: just she's through and she doesn't really want to put 303 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 4: in the put in any. 304 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: More effort towards Okay, well you can't, you can't, you 305 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: can't really do that. 306 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 4: Uh. 307 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 1: Are you were talking originally as their scripture for her 308 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: to use for divorce. Yeah, she could use Matthew and 309 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 1: go in there and say, well it says, you know 310 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,879 Speaker 1: that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital and faithfulness, 311 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 1: you know, and twist that around and say, well, there 312 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 1: was unfaithfulness because marital and faithfulness does kind of cover 313 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: I come from from uh the Greek there the word pornea, 314 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,639 Speaker 1: which is where you get pornography and the like from. 315 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 1: And so you could put pornography in there, and you know, 316 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: you abandon the relationship by only worrying about yourself, which 317 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 1: is what masturbation is and these types of things. Then 318 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:04,120 Speaker 1: you know she has the biblical right, but in context, 319 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 1: really that's an excuse not to move forward on this. 320 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: And if she's not willing to do that, you can't 321 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 1: do it for her. I mean, you're only your half 322 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: the relationship, and you may have screwed it up pretty bad, Steve, 323 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: and you may have been absent for quite some time 324 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: and done some very hurtful things to her, which makes 325 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: her not want to deal with it. The shame is 326 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: that one should always, at least biblically, if you are Christians, 327 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: one should always be looking towards reconciliation. If there are not, 328 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: you know, physical and emotional abuse, then you should be 329 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: looking for reconciliation. When it comes to physical and emotional abuse, 330 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 1: it becomes much more complicated and a little more intertwined. 331 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,679 Speaker 1: And really what you want to do is separate and 332 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: not have the ability for that abuse and get counseling. 333 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 1: But that can be very difficult, and oftentimes the most 334 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: important thing is self preservation and your own safety and 335 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 1: safety of your children should you have them. So that's 336 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,919 Speaker 1: the key on that. As far as the circumstance with 337 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: you two, it's shame. It's sad that you let it 338 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 1: get to a place where she feels it's unmendable or 339 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: at least doesn't believe you. I would say, if there's 340 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: any opportunity for you to show to do a very 341 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:37,639 Speaker 1: tangible thing, not buying flowers or anything, but working on yourself, 342 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,159 Speaker 1: very tangible way, and you can look at her and 343 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 1: say I get it, I have not been good to you, 344 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:49,719 Speaker 1: and that I have worn out the very fiber of 345 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: our love and it's going to take a lot of work. 346 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: You say you don't want to do it, I'm still 347 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: doing it. I'm going to go and I'm going to 348 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: better myself and find out what I did wrong. And 349 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 1: if you want to leave, that's on you. You're more 350 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,439 Speaker 1: than welcome to leave, or you're welcome to join me 351 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: in this next journey and figure out what's wrong and 352 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 1: see how we can make it better than ever before. 353 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,439 Speaker 1: But you have to do actual work and not just 354 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: say those words. She's probably heard words over and over 355 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: and over again and wants to see actual action, wants 356 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 1: to see something real, tangible, and you have to do 357 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 1: that regardless. Don't just go well, I'm going to do 358 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 1: this to get her back, and then if not, it's 359 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 1: back to the magazines. No, toss all that stuff out, 360 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,119 Speaker 1: get rid of anything like that. Focus on making yourself better, 361 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 1: preferably for her, but if not, then making yourself better 362 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: for God. Gregory, welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. 363 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 3: Thank you very much. 364 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 6: I'm a Christian and my brother has been going back 365 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 6: and forth as Christianity and he's fine coming around and 366 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 6: interested in it again. But he asked me a question 367 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 6: the other day that I didn't for the first time 368 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,640 Speaker 6: really have any idea how to answer. He said, if 369 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 6: Jesus was supposed to, if Jesus came here as the 370 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,879 Speaker 6: son of God and knew that he was going to 371 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 6: dine in the cross to forgive us for our sins, 372 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 6: then why when he was on the cross doing that, 373 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 6: did he say, Father, why have you forsaken me? 374 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 1: Okay, in a hole they was taking place at that point. 375 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: It talks about a growing dark at that time in 376 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: scripture talking about Matthew and Matthew you're twenty seven. You 377 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: see that verse forty five. Things start to happen. It says, 378 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,480 Speaker 1: now from the sixth hour of darkness fell upon all 379 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,440 Speaker 1: the land until the ninth hour, And about the ninth hour, 380 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,119 Speaker 1: Jesus cried out with loud voice. And the words that 381 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,719 Speaker 1: I said were eloi la machvachtani, which is actually quoting 382 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 1: Psalms twenty two to one. And so I would reference 383 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: that too, because it's important that that is taking place 384 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: the way it took place. But really what's happening there 385 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:13,119 Speaker 1: is a sense of separation, not a true sense, not 386 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: a true separation, but a sense of separation that's going on, 387 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: and it's really the Father turning judicially away from me. 388 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: So at that time, as I'm taking on the sins 389 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: of the world, the Father is turning away, not fully 390 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: turning away from me. There's not an actual separation, but 391 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: the feeling of separation that's taking place as I am 392 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: taking on taking on all the sins of the world. 393 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,159 Speaker 1: In doing that, the Father is not taking that on 394 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: I am. And as I'm taking that on, the Father 395 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 1: looks away from the sin in feeling that that never 396 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 1: experienced before. I use that as an opportunity to quote 397 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,919 Speaker 1: Psalm twenty two to one, and I'll refer you to 398 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: that to go read it and you'll be able to 399 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: see it in its fullness. But there's not there's not 400 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 1: a full separation of God in the sense that God 401 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:09,959 Speaker 1: was you know, we actually severed ties or something like that. 402 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 1: It's nothing like that at all. It's really the feeling, 403 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: as it says, the feeling of that what felt like separation, 404 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: not true separation, due to God having tune away judicially 405 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,239 Speaker 1: from what was taking place because of the sin that 406 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: was being taken on. And that's why I quoted and 407 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 1: Lama Shoti obviously translates to my God, My God, why 408 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: hast thou forsaken me? So I hope that that helps 409 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 1: and that you take some time to go look at 410 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,919 Speaker 1: Psalm and see it in its fullness and understand as 411 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 1: crows cross reference as to what was going on. John, 412 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:58,359 Speaker 1: Welcome to Jesus Christ Show. Hey, turn the turn the 413 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: radio down there, partner right in the back, Yes, sir, Okay, 414 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 1: how can I help you? 415 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 4: John? 416 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 5: Hey, I'm I'm a I'm a member of a Baptist church, 417 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,200 Speaker 5: have been my whole life and have been always read 418 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,439 Speaker 5: through the King James version of the Bible, and I 419 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 5: was I saw a show the other day that was 420 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:25,439 Speaker 5: that was speaking about the Gnosticism and they what they 421 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 5: were describing was the old former Christianity, and it spoke 422 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 5: about the Gospel of Thomas and several other gospels that 423 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 5: were I've never had never heard of in my life 424 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,359 Speaker 5: and kind of looked into it and it was it 425 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,880 Speaker 5: was really interesting to me, but I didn't know what 426 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 5: kind of uh. I spoke about it in my Bible 427 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 5: school class and kind of got a weird reaction from 428 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,160 Speaker 5: the bet from the well, he's a really good friend. 429 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 5: We're all really close and everything, but you know, it 430 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 5: was it just wasn't We didn't really was writ At 431 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 5: the end the class we spoke about it, and one 432 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 5: other person had heard about it, but it was it 433 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,400 Speaker 5: was real interesting to me, and I didn't know how 434 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 5: much validity I should put into you know, something like that. 435 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 3: Not much, okay. 436 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 1: The Gnostic Gospels, which they're often called, is a group 437 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:27,360 Speaker 1: of some fifty odd texts, and they're basically ancient wisdom. 438 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 1: Gnostic comes from the Greek term gnosis, which means knowledge, 439 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: so it was like often considered like hidden knowledge or 440 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 1: things like that. They became quite popular, but really some 441 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: are even attributed to me writing them, Thomas writing them, 442 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 1: and like, and really they're not. The historical value of 443 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: the books are just not there. They do bibliographical tests, 444 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 1: and these are tests that check the veracity of the 445 00:26:56,359 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: time in which it was written, the author, who's who 446 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 1: claims to have written it, and so on, continuity with 447 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 1: other writings of that time, with each other, these types 448 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: of things, and they just don't match up. So it 449 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that they're horrible books or anything. They're just 450 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:14,880 Speaker 1: not put on the par of scripture. So you can 451 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,880 Speaker 1: read them if you're curious, you want to do your studies, 452 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 1: I would just suggest that you, you know, read and 453 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: study scripture first and then these things second. But they 454 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 1: are interesting in some sense, and there are I know 455 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,360 Speaker 1: a lot of people make a lot out of them, 456 00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: but the only reason why is because they're the new 457 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: kids on the block in the scheme of things. It's like, oh, well, 458 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,159 Speaker 1: you know you've already read scripture, or maybe you haven't, 459 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:41,679 Speaker 1: but now there's this new thing. But really nothing comes 460 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 1: of it. There's no special hidden knowledge or anything like 461 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: that in them. 462 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 5: KFI A six on demand