WEBVTT - Hookup Do's and Don'ts

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<v Speaker 1>All right, it is Mojo in the morning, Kevin with hookups,

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<v Speaker 1>dues and don'ts love this.

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<v Speaker 2>I do not know how to not be myself, and

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<v Speaker 2>in certain situations when you're just hooking up with someone,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think that me being myself is the best

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<v Speaker 2>thing to be for only hookup situations. I'm the type

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<v Speaker 2>of person. I'm the type of person that cares about people.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to get to know who you are. I

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<v Speaker 2>like for you to get to know who I am.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a very transparent personal person. I'm a very vulnerable individual.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to talk. I like to understand things. I

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<v Speaker 2>like to lend advice. I like to be a listening ear.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to connect. All good, But for people you

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<v Speaker 2>just having sex with, doing all of the things that

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<v Speaker 2>come naturally to me and the things that I like

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<v Speaker 2>to do is in best for those just physical connections,

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<v Speaker 2>and because of me.

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<v Speaker 3>Doing all those other things. Let me hold the door.

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<v Speaker 2>Open for you, let me come walk you from the

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<v Speaker 2>parking garage like it's not just the smash. Even though

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<v Speaker 2>I do not want a relationship with this person, we

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<v Speaker 2>start to start to develop these emotional connections because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just not justking you more because no guy has done

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<v Speaker 2>that for them. I don't know if no guy has

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<v Speaker 2>ever done it for him. It's just or usually guys

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<v Speaker 2>that they're in relationships, and if it's just a smash

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<v Speaker 2>and go, I don't know how to do that, Like

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<v Speaker 2>that's that's just weird to me.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like you just need to communicate with them.

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<v Speaker 2>I do, But communication doesn't eliminate emotions.

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<v Speaker 5>Because it's very simple. Actions speak louder than words. So

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<v Speaker 5>if I'm on the receiving end of all of that, keV,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm thinking he's telling me he doesn't want anything, but

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<v Speaker 5>he's he clearly is into me.

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<v Speaker 3>But I don't know how not to be myself.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't have an answer for you.

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<v Speaker 1>How many how many hookups do you think in your

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<v Speaker 1>life you've had compared two relationships, way more so, way

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<v Speaker 1>more hookups, absolutely, And how many of those hookups have

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<v Speaker 1>missed took your being you as you wanted a relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>I would say the majority of them as I am

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<v Speaker 2>later in my life, Like when everybody's like super young,

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<v Speaker 2>early twenties, nothing really mattered like that, Like nobody was

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<v Speaker 2>looking you just love in these situations you're a twenty

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<v Speaker 2>year old, Yeah, but as like later twenties early thirties,

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<v Speaker 2>people start to change the way they perceive their life

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<v Speaker 2>and they start to want to involve themselves in more

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<v Speaker 2>serious things. Yeah, then they want that, even though, like

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<v Speaker 2>I said, we communicated that's not what we both have

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<v Speaker 2>established that, that's not what we're looking for. That's not

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<v Speaker 2>what we're entering this as. But as time progressed and

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<v Speaker 2>you start learning people, they wanted to be more. So

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I need some you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know what you need? You need a warning label on

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<v Speaker 1>your warning. This guy is just a nice guy but

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<v Speaker 1>just wants a hook up. Warning, we'll fall in love.

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<v Speaker 1>You almost need to honestly, you need to forewarn them

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<v Speaker 1>ahead of time. You almost need to say, hey, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm only looking for a hook cup before we start.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, let me hold the door open for you. What

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<v Speaker 3>I'm saying, that's what it's still mixed and really, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>we established that going into it, that we are not

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<v Speaker 3>looking hot.

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<v Speaker 1>Would it be if a girl just said to you,

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to f you and I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>anything else.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's what they say. Also say that to you.

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<v Speaker 2>What I'm saying is I communicate my intentions. They communicate

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<v Speaker 2>their intentions. They're not looking for a relationship either.

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<v Speaker 3>It gets money, but you don't communicate that right away.

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<v Speaker 3>You just spend time with them. No, no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I would say, first time we get drinks,

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<v Speaker 2>so you say them right the first time you get drinks.

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<v Speaker 2>You have actually said to a girl, I'm just looking

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<v Speaker 2>to as you say, smash.

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<v Speaker 3>First time I've done it. You sit there and tell

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<v Speaker 3>me about yourself. What's that mean?

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<v Speaker 2>I like to be upfront with people and say, listen,

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<v Speaker 2>I find you extremely attractive. I'm not here to be

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<v Speaker 2>your friend like I don't know are waiting around for

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not like I'm not. I'm not taking you out

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<v Speaker 2>because I wanted to get to know you. I can

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<v Speaker 2>never say that.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh see, I think.

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<v Speaker 5>keV is very black and white with your words. I

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<v Speaker 5>think you're Mary Blunt. You say it like it is.

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't.

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<v Speaker 5>I think though that where I keep using the word

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<v Speaker 5>money because it does it gets gray. Is you you are?

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<v Speaker 5>You act differently. You say something and you're very clear

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<v Speaker 5>about what you say and what you want. But you're

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<v Speaker 5>right your behavior. I could see where a girl would

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<v Speaker 5>be like, well, I think he's this is changing into

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<v Speaker 5>something else, You're.

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<v Speaker 2>Still a woman. You still should be treated with respect

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<v Speaker 2>and as a woman. Just because I don't want a

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<v Speaker 2>relationship with you doesn't mean I need to just treat

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<v Speaker 2>you like an object.

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<v Speaker 4>I think opening doors is one thing. I think it's

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<v Speaker 4>the emotional stuff, like the talking and getting to know them.

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<v Speaker 4>That's where I personally would be like, oh, he really

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<v Speaker 4>does care about me.

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<v Speaker 3>So I've seen that in this studio before. What are

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<v Speaker 3>you talking about right now? What's going on? How are you?

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<v Speaker 3>I'd good? What's going on.

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<v Speaker 6>When you when you just said a second ago, really

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<v Speaker 6>spoke to me. You said, they start liking me more

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<v Speaker 6>because no one has ever done that them, And that's

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<v Speaker 6>so true. Like when I was dating, I feel like

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<v Speaker 6>I was like looking back, I was definitely.

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<v Speaker 7>The queen of the Lulu.

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<v Speaker 6>Like once somebody would do something nice to me, I

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<v Speaker 6>would just be like, oh, yeah, he wants to do

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<v Speaker 6>with me. And like keV was saying, you know, when

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<v Speaker 6>you're younger, you know, it's more like you're just kind

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<v Speaker 6>of wanting a hookup. But me, I actually got married

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<v Speaker 6>at twenty years old, so like I you know, kind

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<v Speaker 6>of went through that stuff early on, was like this

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<v Speaker 6>is enough.

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<v Speaker 1>So do you think that you guys got to have

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<v Speaker 1>that open conversation, that's what you know, get it out

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<v Speaker 1>in the forefront, like Kevin actually will say, here are

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<v Speaker 1>my intentions.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I definitely that's really really important because yeah, you

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<v Speaker 6>don't want to have any misunderstanding because I always.

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<v Speaker 1>Did, Yeah, what's going on, Shanna?

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<v Speaker 6>Hi?

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<v Speaker 5>Hi?

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<v Speaker 7>So I basically did single my entire life. And I

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<v Speaker 7>have friends as I call them, and they will always

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<v Speaker 7>be my friends. But I'm very upfront about the fact

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<v Speaker 7>that I have almost three grown kids. One of my

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<v Speaker 7>kids is in the Navy, I travel all the time,

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<v Speaker 7>I have grandkids, I have a full time job. Like

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<v Speaker 7>I don't want anything serious, and we might even like

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<v Speaker 7>go to dinner, go to oasis, like do things still

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<v Speaker 7>not in a relationship and I don't want anything serious.

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<v Speaker 1>So you tell them right away all of that stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>And what what what kind of reactions have you gotten

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<v Speaker 1>from these guys?

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<v Speaker 7>I mean most of them are cool with it, but yes,

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<v Speaker 7>some of them do get feelings, and some of them

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<v Speaker 7>are like, are you gonna stay and cuddle? And I'm like, no,

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<v Speaker 7>I'm going home to cuddle with my dogs.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, By the way, that that is interesting

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<v Speaker 1>because I think that, you know, you would not think

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<v Speaker 1>that guys would be that way the stereotype.

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<v Speaker 7>Would than women probably, and they always think that they

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<v Speaker 7>can change things. But you just have to be very

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<v Speaker 7>direct with them and don't get in those deep conversations.

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<v Speaker 7>I kind of keep everything light. But at the end

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<v Speaker 7>of the day, I'm still a time, caring, loving person

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<v Speaker 7>and they all love that, and a lot of them

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<v Speaker 7>haven't experienced that. But I don't want to be with anyone.

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<v Speaker 7>I don't want to be with anyone. I want to like,

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<v Speaker 7>I'm too invested in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they used to have it. They used to have

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<v Speaker 1>a dating app for this. It was called Tinder, and

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<v Speaker 1>it was that everybody go on there that doesn't want

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<v Speaker 1>anything other than just they should just have like literally

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<v Speaker 1>a thing where it's like just a hook up.

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<v Speaker 2>I like that, though. I like connected with somebody beyond

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<v Speaker 2>just that. I like to understand who's I'm not even

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<v Speaker 2>like I just like, but you don't want a relationship, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it's I think it's just who I am.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, I like connecting with people. Hold On, Toya is

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<v Speaker 1>not happy. It sounds like with Kevin, what's up?

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<v Speaker 7>Hey, who's going on?

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<v Speaker 6>Key?

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<v Speaker 8>What's up my baby?

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<v Speaker 3>Listen.

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<v Speaker 8>There's two points I'm gonna make real quick. One, I

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<v Speaker 8>think that you should chill out because I know or

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<v Speaker 8>you share that eventually you want to settle down, Eventually

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<v Speaker 8>you want a family, you know, et cetera, et cetera.

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<v Speaker 8>And I think in this stage right now, that just

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<v Speaker 8>doing hookups is why things are confusing. The second point

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<v Speaker 8>is I, even though you're communicating, I feel that there

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<v Speaker 8>are some women who understand that and are going into

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<v Speaker 8>it just like you.

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<v Speaker 4>Right.

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<v Speaker 8>They're not intentionally saying like, oh he's changing his mind.

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<v Speaker 3>But we're human.

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<v Speaker 8>We are made with feelings.

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<v Speaker 3>We like feeling love.

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<v Speaker 8>We like feeling care, we like feeling protected. And because

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<v Speaker 8>being the awesome, you know, beautiful king that you are,

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<v Speaker 8>it exudes, right and whether you want it to or not,

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<v Speaker 8>and then that's when things get mixed up. I think

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<v Speaker 8>on both ends. So I don't think the women are

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<v Speaker 8>saying are not listening to you. I just think as

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<v Speaker 8>time goes on, you're doing those relationship based things that

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<v Speaker 8>it's getting confusing. So I know some time back you

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<v Speaker 8>took some time to you know, just be to yourself,

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<v Speaker 8>and I think really reevaluate what your intentions are for

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<v Speaker 8>twenty twenty six, Are you truly trying to find love?

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<v Speaker 7>What is your goal?

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<v Speaker 8>Are you truly getting to the point where you want

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<v Speaker 8>to be in a relationship and it really just takes

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<v Speaker 8>time to focus on that, and you know, there's other

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<v Speaker 8>things besides cooking up if you need to do what

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<v Speaker 8>you need to do.

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<v Speaker 7>Okay, now, y'all know I love y'all.

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<v Speaker 9>What an.

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<v Speaker 3>I appreciate all that.

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<v Speaker 2>I know exactly what I want for twenty twenty six

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<v Speaker 2>in regards to it is, I don't want a relationship.

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<v Speaker 3>That's not what I'm after.

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<v Speaker 2>If that happens, or if someone comes around that changes

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<v Speaker 2>my mind, then we'll be intentionally moving in that interesting.

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<v Speaker 3>So your thing focused is here is I'm not finding somebody. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean that's what I communicate. I'm not actively looking

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<v Speaker 3>for a relationship. I have a question.

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<v Speaker 4>Have you ever been in the situation where you do

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<v Speaker 4>these things and you start to maybe catch a little

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<v Speaker 4>bit feelings, no, like, as you get to know them

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<v Speaker 4>and hear their stories.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean genuine Yeah, I mean I start to

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<v Speaker 2>like the person. But I've never been in a situation

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<v Speaker 2>where I've like said, okay, yes you are somebody I

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<v Speaker 2>want to move forward.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, like not like that.

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<v Speaker 1>I've noticed that the girl that there was one girl

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<v Speaker 1>that you would that wouldn't do the relationship.

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<v Speaker 3>She was like, your bestie, that's the one that.

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<v Speaker 5>Then she came remember that. I feel like then she

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<v Speaker 5>came around and was like maybe I do.

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<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, but best we haven't done anything sexually though,

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<v Speaker 2>Like that's not a part of our friendship.

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<v Speaker 1>James has a very important question to ask. I think

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<v Speaker 1>this is interesting because I don't even know the answer. James,

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<v Speaker 1>what's your question?

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<v Speaker 3>keV? Has your like, uh, just ask the question, Just

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<v Speaker 3>ask the question.

0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.640
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, yeah, has your hookup gone up since you've been

0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:53.680
<v Speaker 10>on the radio, like since you started your radio job?

0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:58.280
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean not significantly. No, I don't listen, that's nothing.

0:10:58.280 --> 0:10:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I just I don't sleep with.

0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:02.120
<v Speaker 1>Everybody who wants with me. How many don't do that

0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:06.199
<v Speaker 1>since you started on the radio? How many hookups?

0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:07.640
<v Speaker 3>Not a lot? That crazy?

0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Like more more or less? Like we're checking boxes one

0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:14.920
<v Speaker 1>to three.

0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:21.280
<v Speaker 2>Ford I would say, Bro, I'm not I don't know week,

0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.079
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what y'all think of me, but it's

0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:24.880
<v Speaker 2>not I'm not out here like that. This is good

0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:27.800
<v Speaker 2>for us to hear, Yeah, Eric, what's up?

0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:28.160
<v Speaker 3>Eric?

0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:34.640
<v Speaker 10>So Kevin is very transparent and saying what he wants.

0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:39.360
<v Speaker 10>But as humans, we learn about ourselves every single day.

0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.640
<v Speaker 10>Maybe he hasn't learned this about himself. Maybe he's not

0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:46.120
<v Speaker 10>an actual f boy. Maybe he is a relationship man.

0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:48.840
<v Speaker 10>I don't know, kind of sounds like it.

0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:53.600
<v Speaker 2>I love people, I like people, I was about to

0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.079
<v Speaker 2>get married. I don't know where does like Kevin is

0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:58.240
<v Speaker 2>an f boy thing comes from? Do we do we

0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.199
<v Speaker 2>forget the last year and a half a mile life

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.480
<v Speaker 2>and only focused on the last six months.

0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.760
<v Speaker 3>But I think that's why. No, no, no, you're in

0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:05.440
<v Speaker 3>your whole phase.

0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Well but no, but that is why a surprise came

0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:10.960
<v Speaker 1>out that you said this year you're just you're not

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:12.960
<v Speaker 1>looking for a relationship.

0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:15.360
<v Speaker 3>That surprising. Why is it surprising?

0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 5>Because because I feel like you've always talked about how

0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:21.000
<v Speaker 5>you want to get married, you possibly want to have

0:12:21.040 --> 0:12:21.559
<v Speaker 5>more kids.

0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:23.880
<v Speaker 3>So I just thought, yeah, but I'm not.

0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm not looking for the one though, Like I'm not

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:28.680
<v Speaker 2>out here on the hunt, on the chase.

0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.360
<v Speaker 4>They say that's when it finds you, But.

0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:34.640
<v Speaker 2>When it finds me, I think at the right time,

0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:36.440
<v Speaker 2>it will find me. I'm not out here looking for

0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:37.040
<v Speaker 2>it though.

0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:40.559
<v Speaker 1>Not looking for it, but if it should happen, if

0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:41.800
<v Speaker 1>it should happen, if.

0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.000
<v Speaker 3>It's meant to be, it will be God. All right,

0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.559
<v Speaker 3>all right, how do you get any dudes? And don't stuff?

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:49.240
<v Speaker 1>But you know, I like where things are going again,

0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:51.360
<v Speaker 1>last words from Heather on this one here.

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 9>I think it's more like kind of like what Toya

0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.520
<v Speaker 9>said and then the gentleman that just talked, I think

0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:02.040
<v Speaker 9>Kevin wants a relationship up. He knows he wants a relationship,

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.760
<v Speaker 9>but it's also a respect thing. When you go to

0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:07.959
<v Speaker 9>the female and you said, I just want to smash,

0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.680
<v Speaker 9>and he just wants to smash, then a woman kind

0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:13.240
<v Speaker 9>of takes the respect like she's got no respect for herself,

0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:15.760
<v Speaker 9>none for Kevin. They're gonna play, they're gonna have fun

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.080
<v Speaker 9>on all of that. But then when Kevin's showing the

0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:21.800
<v Speaker 9>emotion back, that's telling her maybe he does like me,

0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.360
<v Speaker 9>because this doesn't isn't my you know what, buddy, He's

0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.920
<v Speaker 9>kind of making you know, making me feel like I

0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:32.400
<v Speaker 9>have feelings for him, and she's probably getting back for him,

0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:33.960
<v Speaker 9>you know what I mean. I think it's more of

0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.760
<v Speaker 9>a respect thing either. Kevin needs to say, Okay, we

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:37.760
<v Speaker 9>need to smash.

0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:38.480
<v Speaker 8>That's it.

0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 9>But I can't treat you like a lady. Don't open

0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.240
<v Speaker 9>my door when you know what I mean?

0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:44.079
<v Speaker 7>Does that make sense?

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:48.160
<v Speaker 3>Kind of? But I can't operate like that. I'm not

0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:49.079
<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean.

0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:52.120
<v Speaker 9>You can't operate like that, then you can't don't look

0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:55.719
<v Speaker 9>for a smash buddy. You are looking for a relationship.

0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:57.800
<v Speaker 1>Can I tell you what I think Kevin's problem is

0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:04.160
<v Speaker 1>Kevin Kevin is a guy female or even male. When

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:08.360
<v Speaker 1>you meet him, you love him, and you don't want

0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.439
<v Speaker 1>just Kevin in your life for a moment. You want

0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:12.040
<v Speaker 1>it in there for a while. And I think the

0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:16.319
<v Speaker 1>problem with you is you're so engaging as a human

0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:20.400
<v Speaker 1>being that people are drawn to you. So if you

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.520
<v Speaker 1>are and this is even with you know dudes, guys

0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:26.880
<v Speaker 1>want to be your best buddy because when they meet you,

0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:28.520
<v Speaker 1>they're like, this is a guy I want to have

0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 1>in my life. And if you're just looking for I

0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:34.400
<v Speaker 1>don't know, what do you call a guy that's not

0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.440
<v Speaker 1>a non smash buddy?

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 3>You know what I mean?

0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.520
<v Speaker 1>Like, if you're looking for like, if you just want

0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 1>a guy for like, hey, let's just you know, it's

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:42.560
<v Speaker 1>nice to meet you great you know, you know some

0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:44.960
<v Speaker 1>people just come and passing. So I think you're he's

0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:49.840
<v Speaker 1>an engaging guy, and I think it's very difficult for you,

0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 1>probably even more so than the women that you go with,

0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.920
<v Speaker 1>because everybody wants to be part of you.

0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 3>And I think that you know what you need. What

0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.160
<v Speaker 3>do I need an evil twin or you need? No,

0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 3>you need an evil I know.

0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 2>I just don't want to sacrifice the best versions of me. No,

0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.920
<v Speaker 2>you're a great guy in order to listen.

0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. I'm not going to stop being myself.

0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:10.440
<v Speaker 7>You know.

0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to spend more time with you. I can't

0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.040
<v Speaker 1>imagine why women wouldn't want to spend more time with

0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:18.600
<v Speaker 1>you when they're just smashing so as you say, especially

0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 1>if good, well, I don't want the d